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View Full Version : I hereby produce Animesuki's first KimiNozo fanfction :D


Shift_
2003-12-11, 18:49
***Note this is my own fanfiction it takes place between episodes 9-10 til the end of the series***

***I have included "fictional" characters that I have either madeup or ripped off some other people, and I take ideas from other threads ;)***

**this is a work in progress** **Tell me if I've mispelled any names, I'm too lazy to look them up exactly, oh yea this has gone through NO PROOFREADING WHATSOEVER, expect alot of spelling and grammatical errors and stuff like that**

**THERE are certain spoilers from earlier eps, and stuff...**
Enjoy ;)

It'll start on my next post since it's too long to fit on this one post, I'm limited to only 10000 characters >< booooo

Post questions and comments ;)

I'll probally want to rework the ending...since I was rushing it (I'm at school "studying" right now)

Shift_
2003-12-11, 18:49
-------------------------------------------
It all started on a cold night, the night where everything would start coming into play.

**ring ring**
**ring ring**
**ring ring**
**ring ring**
**ring ring**
**click**

“Where is she…” Shinji mumbles as he closes his cell phone, “I hope she’s alright”
Shinji begins his walk down the cold streets, worried he continues down this road looking down. He goes on for a few minutes, until he hears a familiar voice. He follows the sound of that voice to a back alley in front of a love hotel.

“Is this okay? Is this what you want?” the man says
“It’s okay” the woman replies

“HAYASE!!!” Shinji yells, as he rushes to her, “Get away from her you bastard”
“Who the hell are you?” The man asks,
“Just get away from her you Bastard!!!” Shinji replies, as he throws a punch

The two brawl for a while, throwing punches and kicks. Mitsuki just stares off into space remembering the good old days, where everyone was happy. After a few minutes Shinji says “Let me take you home Hayase”

The two go off, as it begins to rain. After getting into Shinji’s car, Mitsuki dozes off. After stopping off at Mitsuki’s apartment complex, Shinji carries her up to her room, laying her down on the bed. Just as Shinji is about to leave, Mitsuki grabs him, and gives him a very warm and moist kiss. Although shocked, Shinji returns the kiss, and asks “Hayase, Is this okay?”
“This is what I want” Mitsuki replies.

On the other side of the city, Haruka is looking outwards, towards the city lights. Twirling her hair she knows something is wrong, she knows something is about to happen.

Looking over from a building up above, mysterious strangers and their pet peer into Haruka’s hospital room. Feeling a sense of urgency, one of the men, go to the hospital and enter Haruka’s room from the window.
“Who are you?” a worried Haruka asks.
“I am someone, who cares very much, someone who will protect you…” the man replies.
“Do you know what’s happening? Do you know what’s going on here?” Haruka asks franticly
“You will find the truth out soon, I am just here to let you know that I’ll be here for you” the man says as he vanishes off into the night.
“I wonder who that was…” Haruka says.
As the rain falls onto the streets, Takayuki walks. Wondering what he should be doing, wondering what is going on. Questions run through his mind, he walks searching for answers. Torn between two girls, and not knowing what to do. One his current girlfriend whom he loves, Mitsuki. The other, his “ex-girlfriend” whom it was his fault she went into a coma for 3 years, Haruka.

Both of them tugging at his heart, both of them he cares for. However, he has not seen the extent of the damage he’s caused. For the past few days he’s been avoiding Mitsuki to see Haruka, and that’s driven Mitsuki into the arms of another. But all in the meantime he has been going out with Mitsuki behind Haruka’s back, tricking Haruka into believing that she is the only one for him. But he’s hurting them both.

He continues walking, depressed and pathetic. A man that holds no real future at the present time, a man who doesn’t have a spine. Many things go through his mind, yet he has never thought about what he will do to deserve the girls. He walks, wishing things never happened, wishing things would return to the way they were before…wishing simple things. Then he starts thinking cruel things, bad things blaming others for his problems.
if Mitsuki never pushed me into going out with Haruka none of this would of happened
If Mitsuki never forced me to buy her a ring, this could of all been avoided
If Haruka never woke up, this would never of happened
If Haruka didn’t ask me out in the first place, THIS would of all have been avoided

Thinking thoughts like these, he continued walking. Blaming others for his problems, blaming those who didn’t deserved to be blamed, when in fact everything that has happened he could of easily stopped him self.

Looking at him from the buildings, the mysterious men start to talk, start to think how they can protect the women.

Back at the hospital, Akane sits in the waiting room, crying “Onii-chan…” she mutters, “what should I do…”

The main doors slide open, Takayuki walks into the doorway. Akane wipes her tears, and thinks to her self This is for the best, if he goes back to her Little did she know she had built up frustration building inside her, and it would only be a matter of time before she exploded.

She follows Takayuki to Haruka’s room. Haruka and Takayuki exhange a kiss, and Haruka looks at the window, with a worried expression on her face. Turning around she screams “My hair…it can’t be this long…my hands were never this skinny…just what’s going on….”
“You must not be feeling too well…you’ve always been like this…” Takayuki states, “You’re perfectly normal you’re the way you’ve always been”
Akane, not being able to hold it anymore starts revealing the truth to Haruka’s accident, and the events that have passed, not being able to see her sister being lied to anymore, she tells the whole story, including the relationship Takayuki and Mitsuki share…

Hearing this the doctor RUSHES into the room, just as Akane finishes revealing the whole truth. And sees Haruka falling back into her Comatose state…

Akane realizing what she’s done, begins to break down and cry. Takayuki goes crazy again…

On the way home, Akane asks Takayuki “How do you feel about my sister”
“I love Mitsuki very much, but when I just can’t forget about Haruka” Takayuki replies, then he runs off, in the rain…leaving Akane just standing there…with anger slowly building up in her heart.

Later the next day, Mitsuki found her self in her room, naked and in bed with her clothes scattered on the floor…Remembering what she did…she felt ashamed…however, she thought Takayuki should get a 2nd chance.

She rushed to Takayuki’s apartment where she found him collapsed on the bed, with a very high fever…for the next few days, Mitsuki nursed Takayuki back to health. When he came to, they ate. “Takayuki…how do you truthfully feel about me?” Mitsuki asks.
“I love you very much…” Takayuki replies, while Mitsuki smiles…”…but, I can’t forget about how I feel about Haruka…I just can’t forget about her…”

I just can’t forget about her… Those words would forever change Mitsuki…after hearing those words, she ran off yelling “BAKA!!!”, ran back into the arms of Shinji, ran back into the arms of someone she could depend on, and trust.

Takayuki was just left there alone, not realizing what he had just done. The phone rang…it was Akane, Haruka had woken up again…Quickly he ran off to see her, ran to the hospital as fast as his legs could carry him.

There he saw Akane smiling, she hoped that this proved that Takayuki loved Haruka and could go on without Mitsuki…going into the room, Haruka was distraught, she asked to be left alone with Takayuki.

She asked “what’s going on here…who do you really love?”
“I love…I love…Mitsuki…but I can’t just forget about my feelings that I have for you either…I just don’t know…” Takayuki replies…

Haruka bursts into tears…”So it’s not me you fully love, it’s not me you can be alone with, it’s not me who is the only one that holds a place in your heart…”
“I don’t know…” Takayuki says

Haruka, having anger building up inside her…yells “Just…get out…GO back to Mitsuki, leave me alone…”

Akane waiting right outside the door overheard everything…stopped Takayuki before he leaves…and angerly slaps his face and says “Baka…” As she goes into Haruka’s room. “What should we do…?” Akane asks

They are both obviously fed up and frustrated with Takayuki at this point…

The Mysterious man appears in Haruka’s room again…Surprised, Akane jumps back at the presence of this man…”Who…Who are you…?” Akane asks…

“I am someone who cares a lot for your sister…someone who wants to help” The man replies. “What is it that you girls want?”

“I just wish Takayuki would disappear…” Akane says
“That’s what I want now too…” Haruka states.
“If that is what you want…that’s what I’ll try to do…” The man replies, as he vanishes again…

Shift_
2003-12-11, 18:50
Haruka and Akane both carry evil smirks on their faces…knowing what might happen, but at the same time they are impressed at a man that takes charge.

Up on a roof top…the mysterious men plan their course of action…”You guys now know what we have to do…” says the 1st man…
“Yes…” says the 2nd man
“It looks like our pet will finally be fed…” Says the third
“You can’t be seriously wanting to use…him…” Says the fourth…
“Yes I do…” replies the first man.

On the other side of town, where Takayuki is walking aimlessly, wondering what just happened and what is going on, not taking notice of the people running frantically in the opposite direction…not even able to hear the screams of people.

One man stops Takayuki and yells, “What are you doing here walking that way don’t you know what’s going on?” Takayuki looks dazed “GODZILLA IS COMING GODZILLA IS COMING”

“Isn’t he supposed to be asleep at the bottom of the ocean?” Takayuki replies, as he continues walking dazed and confused as ever.

“We’ve found our target…”says one of the men

Alright then men, all together now “GO GODZILLA GET THAT BUM!!!” yell Shift_, Key Board, Loki_Sama, and eMpTy265.

As if by command, Godzilla scoops Takayuki up, as he strugles, the men give him a choice. To go out with Manami-san (aka the green haired nurse) or to be eaten alive. Well being the moron he is, he decided to go out with Manami-San...

All you could hear were Takayuki's desprate cries for help, as Manami used her special play toys on him...

*the next part of the story has been censored to meet a PG13 rating*

Alas, Takayuki no longer caring for Haruka or Mitsuk,i escaped for his life, only to be caught by the mysterious men, who ordered Godzilla to eat him right away, but Manami would not be left alone, so she followed, bringing her "toys" with her, as they were slowly being digested by Godzilla's stomach acid...all you could hear was the crack of a whip and Takayuki's screams...

After a filling meal, Godzilla returned to his ocean home to sleep.

After this, being the guys they are, the mysterious men, Shift_, Key Board, Loki_Sama and eMpTy265, win the hearts of women everywhere.

Shift_ ends up with Haruka*
Key Board ends up with the Doctor*
Loki_Sama ends up with Fumio*
eMpTy265 ends up with Akane (after she calms down)*
And Sinji and Mitsuki are now a happy couple ^.^*

Thus making a very happy ending for everyone. Even Mki who finds another guy, and ends up being very happy.

In fact, NO ONE has been so happy since Takayuki’s mysterious “disappearance” Thus everyone lives happily ever after.

The end.

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*please go find the thread about what will happen to haruka for refrences

Forse
2003-12-11, 18:53
I need to gather my strength to read all that...but I will soon ;)

Shift_
2003-12-11, 22:27
So is anyone going to make a review/suggestions :p I want input here.

eMpTy265
2003-12-11, 23:30
:D

Very interesting fansub


I can just imagine Godzilla scooping up Takayuki and devouring him bit by bit. =D


Now let's see... what would be a good thing to add.



oh I know... maybe getting eaten by Godzilla was too easy on Takayuki. =D

Now I don't really hate him... but I think it's beneficial for him to REALLY understand just how MUCH pain he's putting the girls through...

So, in order to enlighten Takayuki on how much pain he's dealing people, we should have the pain reflect on him too.


__________________________________________________ _________________

:topicoff:
Hmm... now...

Do you guys agree that in many cases, emotion pain is much worse off than physical pain?

Yes? good..

So, in order for one to feel the equivalent amount of pain... one must deliver more physical pain than emotion pain right?

yes... Great *evil laugh*

__________________________________________________ _________________


How about this?

(I'm going to try to add a 'between the scenes' for the story.


Takayuki, swallowed by Godzilla, continues to wonder about his state of affairs, realizing that getting killed is probably better than what he's suffering.

*THUMP*

Landing in Godzilla's stomach, Takayuki continues to depress himself.

Suddenly, a female voice echos through the stomach lining of Godzilla: "Konichiwa, Narumi-san"

Takayuki, having heard the rumours of the dreaded green-haired nurse, freezes in terror...
"Manami-san, why... why are you here?"

"I've been waiting for you, HE told me you were coming"

"..."

"Now, I have you to myself at least, even if it's only for the short time before we get dissolved by Godzilla's stomach acids."

*Takes out her different 'tools'*

"Just let me DIE!!!"

"After what you put the girls through? I dont' think death does you justice."


***** The following is probably not suitable for all audiences... so I'll stop here. =P*****
__________________________________________________ _________________

lavarock
2003-12-12, 00:24
Hmmm, i will definitly read this after all my finals

Shift_
2003-12-12, 00:45
I'll be revising the ending later...I was thinking of doing that Empty, cept I was supposed to be studying at that time lol...

I'll besure to give Takayuki a more painful death...

Loki_Sama
2003-12-12, 03:12
I'll be revising the ending later...I was thinking of doing that Empty, cept I was supposed to be studying at that time lol...

I'll besure to give Takayuki a more painful death...


OMFG!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! that was GREAT!!!!.......OMG......i guess i will make one kinda like that too......LOL!!!

IPv6
2003-12-12, 13:04
somewhere in there, I should kill Shinji and take mitsuki.