View Full Version : Mai HiME/Otome Fanfiction Thread
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coefficientX
2005-12-18, 23:10
Kieli, the C2 Link (http://www.fanfiction.net/c2/14610/0/1/) ain't working. :(
Got this error:
Invalid url rejected. Please make sure the url you are using to access this site is correct and current.
Kieli, the C2 Link (http://www.fanfiction.net/c2/14610/0/1/) ain't working. :(
Got this error:
Invalid url rejected. Please make sure the url you are using to access this site is correct and current.
Sorry, luv. I had corrected it in the old thread but didn't get around to resurrecting the post containing the proper URL. Here ya go:
Fuuka Gakuen: A Mai HiME shoujoai fanfic community (http://www.fanfiction.net/c2/14610/3/0/1/)
Speaking of this, Kieli, how do I add my story to the C2 thing?
Speaking of this, Kieli, how do I add my story to the C2 thing?
It would probably be easiest if you send me the link to your fic on FF.net and I'll add it directly.
Tremalkinger
2005-12-19, 22:52
I'm a review whore (aren't all authors? :heh: ), so I might as well link my own Mai HiME story here. It's a relationship profile for Nao and Natsuki, taking place after the end of the series. Warnings for spoilers (duh). Here it is. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2704933/1/)
Some people have mentioned that Nao feels a little out of character. I think that while that might a valid criticism, people need to keep in mind that the story takes place after summer break, so she's had a few months to mellow out and spend time with her mother. And plus, if I wrote for Nao strictly the way she was in the anime, the story would be all but unreadable. :heh:
Why am I beta reading it if you've already posted? *confused look*
Akuma-sama
2005-12-19, 23:28
I guess I might as well pimp my stuff too...
:uhoh:
er... yeah, sorry for breaking the G rating...
Here it is (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2656542/1/), Mai∞HiME. Drop in a review if you read it please ^_^;;
Why am I beta reading it if you've already posted? *confused look*
Huh? I havent posted it yet. You're still the sole Shiznat smutholder aside from me. :p
Huh? I havent posted it yet. You're still the sole Shiznat smutholder aside from me. :p
No no, silly, I meant Tremalkinger *thinks she should stop having conversations with people in her head* Sorry about that. I still have yours. Life is finally slowing down a bit so maybe I can have it done soon plus finish my own fic.....one of these days :heh:
No worries, I'm hitting exams in lesser than two weeks, even if you went through the pizzaz of serving it to me now on a silverplate, I woudn't be able to do much about it.
Tremalkinger
2005-12-20, 09:30
Why am I beta reading it if you've already posted? *confused look*
I was planning on editing the story based on your beta and putting up a new copy when I recieved it. It's already been betaed once, so I'm pretty sure there's nothing blatently wrong.
You sound like you've got a lot on your plate as it is, so if you want to skip betaing it, I'd understand :heh:
My, it took me long enough but....FINALLY Chapter 9 for All With Good Intentions has been posted. Chapter 10 is being written as we speak. Hopefully I'll finally be able to lay this puppy to rest and start on the sequel.
duster_Fukku
2005-12-27, 21:43
My, it took me long enough but....FINALLY Chapter 9 for All With Good Intentions has been posted. Chapter 10 is being written as we speak. Hopefully I'll finally be able to lay this puppy to rest and start on the sequel.
way the.... POST IT HERE!!!!!!!!!! *dash to source*
Elwhyenen
2005-12-27, 21:47
My, it took me long enough but....FINALLY Chapter 9 for All With Good Intentions has been posted. Chapter 10 is being written as we speak. Hopefully I'll finally be able to lay this puppy to rest and start on the sequel.
Hah, last night I just happened to be on FF.net and I just refreshed my page on the Mai Hime fanfic's and I saw yours on the top of the list, wonderful chapter if I may say so myself. Shame on you though, for leaving us readers at an intresting cliffie with Natsukis dramatic entry XD.
Good luck on chapter 10 :).
way the.... POST IT HERE!!!!!!!!!! *dash to source*
Erm, I doubt if I'd be allowed to do that. God knows, if everyone posted their awesome stuff here, we'd crash the dang server :heh: If you need a link, let me know.
Shame on you though, for leaving us readers at an intresting cliffie with Natsukis dramatic entry XD.
Eh, well.....it wasn't really going to happen that way at first. But I felt that Natsuki and Shizuru fluff time deserved its own chapter. That way, nothing to distract from sappiness :D
duster_Fukku
2005-12-27, 22:09
Eh, well.....it wasn't really going to happen that way at first. But I felt that Natsuki and Shizuru fluff time deserved its own chapter. That way, nothing to distract from sappiness :D
*nod with approval*
Tremalkinger
2006-01-02, 17:18
My chapter two is progressing nicely, but is going to end up being pretty long. One of the main scenes in it is Mai's attempt to lift stress from her friends' studying frenzy (for midterm exams) via another karaoke party. The characters in Mai HiME play off each other so well, my main problem is having TOO many possiblities for comedy. I've got Natsuki, Nao, Mai, Tate, Mikoto, Takumi, Akira and Yukino all there. @_@
Akuma-sama
2006-01-02, 21:26
I haven't updated in nearly a month... mostly because chapter 3 is frickin' huge. I'm at 25.5 pages now, and after the rest of the fight scene (which I expect to be 3 or 4 pages more), I have a final scene to write... :twitch:
And I can't cut it in half without breaking the rythm, either.
Someone arrest me. :heh:
To think it looked too short in my plans...
Elwhyenen
2006-01-02, 21:52
I haven't updated in nearly a month... mostly because chapter 3 is frickin' huge. I'm at 25.5 pages now, and after the rest of the fight scene (which I expect to be 3 or 4 pages more), I have a final scene to write... :twitch:
And I can't cut it in half without breaking the rythm, either.
Someone arrest me. :heh:
To think it looked too short in my plans...
I actually found your fic on FF.Net and I thought it was an intresting idea, I also thought you gave up on it since there was a long lack of update :p, glad to see I'm proven wrong though. Good luck with chapter 3 ( Fight scene? Sounds promising :) )
Shigan : Gawd. your fic (Learning How to Walk) is one of my favorites, I love the fic to death and I hope you'll be updating with new Mai-Hime fics later on.
Tremalkinger : I read your fic (Shades of Gray) a while ago and I thought it was an intresting view on Nao and Natsukis relationship, although I'm still a avid (quite possibly rabid) ShizNat fan, this fic also opened my eyes to the slight possiblity of NaoxNatsuki XD. (Tis a hard thing to do too, my mind's usually a one way track :p.)
My, it took me long enough but....FINALLY Chapter 9 for All With Good Intentions has been posted. Chapter 10 is being written as we speak. Hopefully I'll finally be able to lay this puppy to rest and start on the sequel.
Does this sequel take place mainly in a hotel not far from the airport by any chance? ;)
Shigan : Gawd. your fic (Learning How to Walk) is one of my favorites, I love the fic to death and I hope you'll be updating with new Mai-Hime fics later on.
My only reply to this is: HOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOOO-!!! *dies of spontanous nosebleed* XD
Does this sequel take place mainly in a hotel not far from the airport by any chance? ;)
Well unfortunately the closest decent hotel relatively close to Kansai International is almost an hour away! :( Forty minutes give or take. Aiyaaa! So...Natsuki is REALLY going to have some hell to pay :heh:
My only reply to this is: HOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOOO-!!! *dies of spontanous nosebleed* XD
Do I even want to know what you're up to this time?? :eyebrow: Yeah yeah I'm almost done, I swear.
Well unfortunately the closest decent hotel relatively close to Kansai International is almost an hour away! Forty minutes give or take. Aiyaaa! So...Natsuki is REALLY going to have some hell to pay
Kansai huh? Aint there a lot of abandoned temples in the outskirts there? Bah, nevermind me, there's nothing after a long tedious flight as a long bath, light food and bed with Natsuk- *gets blasted by silver cartridge* :D
Do I even want to know what you're up to this time??
You do. ;) Or on the other hand, maybe not - tell me, what do you think of traiditional Yakuzis and handcuf- *gets shot again* XD
Yeah yeah I'm almost done, I swear.
Actually, no stressing, I still havent written the second half. I do think I solved my little kaicho problem thou. I'm getting to it as fast as I finish my exams which will be on the 11th. -_-
Kansai huh? Aint there a lot of abandoned temples in the outskirts there? Bah, nevermind me, there's nothing after a long tedious flight as a long bath, light food and bed with Natsuk- *gets blasted by silver cartridge* :D
LMAO!! :heh: Duran is ever so protective of his mistress......god where my mind went just then :D
You do. ;) Or on the other hand, maybe not - tell me, what do you think of traiditional Yakuzis and handcuf- *gets shot again* XD
Yakuza?? Hmm...why does that sound familiar *thankfully manages to dodge a second blast*
Actually, no stressing, I still havent written the second half. I do think I solved my little kaicho problem thou. I'm getting to it as fast as I finish my exams which will be on the 11th. -_-
Oh goodie. Now maybe I can write this fluff I've been getting a ton of emails about. :eyebrow:
Tremalkinger
2006-01-03, 08:53
Tremalkinger : I read your fic (Shades of Gray) a while ago and I thought it was an intresting view on Nao and Natsukis relationship, although I'm still a avid (quite possibly rabid) ShizNat fan, this fic also opened my eyes to the slight possiblity of NaoxNatsuki XD. (Tis a hard thing to do too, my mind's usually a one way track :p.)
Luckily, ShizNat and NaoNat are not mutually exclusive. I would be a liar if I didn't confess to a love of ShizNat myself, but I have a tendency to try for the less popular pairings when I write. Otherwise, I'll find myself constantly worrying over having ideas too similar to my fellow authors. Nao/Natsuki is pretty much an open field, which gives more possiblities.
Gawd. your fic (Learning How to Walk) is one of my favorites, I love the fic to death and I hope you'll be updating with new Mai-Hime fics later on.
My only reply to this is: HOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOOO-!!! *dies of spontanous nosebleed* XD
!!! Is that a yes? I'm going to pretend it is, mainly because I'm an optimist. I can't wait to read it!
Oh goodie. Now maybe I can write this fluff I've been getting a ton of emails about. :eyebrow:
Eagerly awaiting updates on your story too :D
You do. ;) Or on the other hand, maybe not - tell me, what do you think of traiditional Yakuzis and handcuf- *gets shot again* XD
Did you mean Yukata, the summer kimono? Or Yakuza, the evil gangsters. One is slightly more nosebleed inducing than the other :heh:
Originally Posted by Kieli
Gawd. your fic (Learning How to Walk) is one of my favorites, I love the fic to death and I hope you'll be updating with new Mai-Hime fics later on.
Erm this was actually posted by Elwhyenen and not me :D
Tremalkinger
2006-01-03, 09:54
Erm this was actually posted by Elwhyenen and not me :D
Fixed. :eyespin:
Erm this was actually posted by Elwhyenen and not me
She is just trying to deny that she bawled her eyes out the first time she read it, Kieli loves sap, it's a wellknown fact XD XD XD *hides behind Shizuru*
Did you mean Yukata, the summer kimono? Or Yakuza, the evil gangsters. One is slightly more nosebleed inducing than the other
Actually, I was thinking of Yakuzi, those huge bubbly indoor or outdoor baths :p
And as I said, my exams ends the 11th, only by then can I start writing - if I dont decide to elope on a roadtrip along the chinese coast with a israelian guy in my chinese culture class, which for the moment actually is quite likely. :D
And as I said, my exams ends the 11th, only by then can I start writing - if I dont decide to elope on a roadtrip along the chinese coast with a israelian guy in my chinese culture class, which for the moment actually is quite likely. :D
There goes your Lesbian Street Cred. :heh:
Tremalkinger
2006-01-03, 23:23
Actually, I was thinking of Yakuzi, those huge bubbly indoor or outdoor baths :p
Ah... I was thrown off because it looked like a Japanese word. Anyway, sounds like you're having fun. Ganbaro!
Ok, let me rephrase it from "elope" - to go on a "fun packed" trip together, so gimme back my creds :p. I am so not sitting hole in Beijing with New Year coming up, five -weeks- of holiday, Jesus.
Ok, let me rephrase it from "elope" - to go on a "fun packed" trip together, so gimme back my creds :p. I am so not sitting hole in Beijing with New Year coming up, five -weeks- of holiday, Jesus.
Hmph *checks her Guidebook to Lesbian Street Credentials* Ahhh well ok. But next time watch them verbs, will ya? *jangles the keys to Shigan's Anti-Straight handcuffs*
Hmph *checks her Guidebook to Lesbian Street Credentials* Ahhh well ok. But next time watch them verbs, will ya? *jangles the keys to Shigan's Anti-Straight handcuffs*
*looks down at handcuffs O_o*
I never signed anything, you can't! You have no righ-!!! Nyyyoooooooo!!!!! *gets dragged away in the mud* XD XD XD
We're very very off topic now :D :D :D
Countdown to Writing: 3 exams.
Captain Picard
2006-01-05, 23:22
I've just put up the first chapter to a fic I've been working on. I know I've had ideas before, but they were too big and I never got around to them. This one kind of came to me a few days ago as a result of a topic here. It's somewhat of an album-fic (Is that a phrase even?) for Powerman 5000's big breakout Tonight the Stars Revolt!, but any lyrics remain firmly outside the prose itself.
Here's the link, do with it what you will:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2738942/1/
Finally DONE!! Whoo hoo! Well...not really. Just done enough before I have to write the sequel :uhoh:
imperialmog
2006-02-04, 21:02
Well Kieli the fic had a good ending to it. Shows that you have to follow the heart and just do it since you'll reget it for the rest of your life if you don't.
That and the warm and fuzzies I get really got to me. Good pick-me-up after seeing other things which made me cry. Have to love the idea of "less talking, more kisssing". Them being damp gave me a bit of the nosebleed as well. Good job then.
wombatlord
2006-02-04, 22:36
Well, I have been throwing around various Mai Hime fanfic Ideas in my head for a long time, and I finally got off my butt and wrote one piece of the giant tapestry in my brain. Which it may be a long time before I manage to write any more, but...
This story is set...somewhere around 20-25 years after Mai Hime. Enjoy! (Or hate :)
http://www.thekeep.org/~wombat/Stories/Mai/UnderABarrel.txt
That and the warm and fuzzies I get really got to me. Good pick-me-up after seeing other things which made me cry. Have to love the idea of "less talking, more kisssing". Them being damp gave me a bit of the nosebleed as well. Good job then.
Poor, Mog :heh: Sorry, lad, didn't mean to make you use up your Kleenex box.
imperialmog
2006-02-05, 01:27
Well after ep. 17 I had not much kleenex left. But your fic did lift the spirits. *take that as you will* It'd be odd that the ShizNat gets me in a good mood for my carrer fair in three days. Maybe my little sister is right, I am a bit too nice and sensitive for my own good.
Also Kieli, you need one of your art-friends to make some art of this. How would you like to see some wet ShizNat with their clothes all clinging to thier bodies? That and I PM'd some questions for you and I haven't gotten any answers yet? Well I bet you're a busy woman and all.
Just keep up the good work.
Well, I have been throwing around various Mai Hime fanfic Ideas in my head for a long time, and I finally got off my butt and wrote one piece of the giant tapestry in my brain. Which it may be a long time before I manage to write any more, but...
This story is set...somewhere around 20-25 years after Mai Hime. Enjoy! (Or hate :)
http://www.thekeep.org/~wombat/Stories/Mai/UnderABarrel.txt
What's it rated?
wombatlord
2006-02-05, 01:43
What's it rated?
Under a Barrel is rated PG for comic violence and people having love lives off screen.
Where Are The Hardcore Yuri Fanfics!?!
wombatlord
2006-02-05, 02:16
Where Are The Hardcore Yuri Fanfics!?!
Rounded up and killed with Erstin
Rounded up and killed with Erstin
LMAO! :heh:
Well after ep. 17 I had not much kleenex left. But your fic did lift the spirits. *take that as you will*
LOL :heh
It'd be odd that the ShizNat gets me in a good mood for my carrer fair in three days. Maybe my little sister is right, I am a bit too nice and sensitive for my own good.
No, don't give that up......just ask the straight girls, sensitive men are hard to find.
Also Kieli, you need one of your art-friends to make some art of this. How would you like to see some wet ShizNat with their clothes all clinging to thier bodies? That and I PM'd some questions for you and I haven't gotten any answers yet? Well I bet you're a busy woman and all.
Already in process ;) I've not forgotten your PMs....but I have been a tad busy this weekend as I am on-call for the hospital for the next week (read 24/7) O_o Not fun.
ROOooOOAAAR! Shigan is back in Beijing for some serious writing kickass for 3 -whole- days before another trip of questionable decency and morality takes her to Dalien and hopefully Qingdao.
*dances around Kieli*
Great update! I can already -
- see Natsuki swatting reporters and photographers away with her motorbike helmet while looking like the mother of all piss-offs at the corporal scandal she is about to start.
Not a bad thing thou, anger makes for great se- I mean fluff. Hohoho XD
Whose the freaking culprit?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2782455/1/
imperialmog
2006-02-05, 22:39
Questionable decency and morality? Why do I get the image it involves travelling China whith mayo guns and a negi sword in a manner that Midori would approve? I heard from Kieli that she has some interesting friends online but now I know.
That and I wonder if I'm the only male who's a fan of ShizNat pairing that doesn't have a fanserivce based reason. Though admittedly, it doesn't hurt either. Though I think with Natsuki is that she needs a puppy.
ROOooOOAAAR! Shigan is back in Beijing for some serious writing kickass for 3 -whole- days before another trip of questionable decency and morality takes her to Dalien and hopefully Qingdao.
*dances around Kieli*
Great update! I can already -
- see Natsuki swatting reporters and photographers away with her motorbike helmet while looking like the mother of all piss-offs at the corporal scandal she is about to start.
Not a bad thing thou, anger makes for great se- I mean fluff. Hohoho XD
Shigan's just being naughty.....but she's harmless ;) well mostly.
Speaking of which, I just noticed a rather fluffy (but terribly short) Chie/Aoi vignette on SA.
Here ya go:
http://www.shoujoai.com/forum/topic_show.pl?tid=33676#fp
Questionable decency and morality? Why do I get the image it involves travelling China whith mayo guns and a negi sword in a manner that Midori would approve? I heard from Kieli that she has some interesting friends online but now I know.
I never liked mayo, way to much fat. Chocolate sauce on the other hand may have a hand in what I'll be up to. As for Negi swords, another no, the shape is not completely useless I guess but as said mayo, I have other personal preferences. ^_^ Did that come across as dirty? -So- sorry...
Shigan's just being naughty.....but she's harmless well mostly
Naughty? ME? While someone is trying to keep 4 pages of Shiznat smut all to herself? HA
Ara, just another day left in Beijing and I didnt get much written at all, distractions distractions...sigh
Thought I'd contribute a bit with probably the first fanfic about Tate. It was done as part of a livejournal group where you had to write twenty 'facts' about a character/pairing/whatever. And since our lovable shounen retard hardly gets any fanfiction, I thought I'd take up the challenge! :)
Enjoy (http://community.livejournal.com/20_dances/1236.html#cutid1)...or not.
http://www.shoujoai.com/forum/topic_show.pl?tid=33676#fp
Yup. Terribly short... A bit more details would be nice...
philip72
2006-02-08, 22:51
That and I wonder if I'm the only male who's a fan of ShizNat pairing that doesn't have a fanserivce based reason. Though admittedly, it doesn't hurt either. Though I think with Natsuki is that she needs a puppy.
Well I for one suki me fanservice.
That being said, my reason for liking Shiznat is the romantic aspect, which for me is far and above any fanservice titillation. The whole reason I liked the pool scene in episode 9 was because it suggested that they were somewhat comfortable with each other and possibly (though I read a lot into all those 3 second scenes) romantically involved.
I'm becoming a big softy for romance as I'm getting older, and it's the idea of these two as a luvey-duvey couple that makes me all squiffy inside.
Speaking of squiffy, I was shedding happy tears reading Kieli's "All With Good Intentions" and Shigans "Learning to Walk" fanfics last night. I was in an "Aw Shuck's" happy mood all day at work today. ShizNat's is just so darn cute. :love:
Kieli, you have to finish that story.
Speaking of squiffy, I was shedding happy tears reading Kieli's "All With Good Intentions" and Shigans "Learning to Walk" fanfics last night. I was in an "Aw Shuck's" happy mood all day at work today. ShizNat's is just so darn cute. :love:
Kieli, you have to finish that story.
Isn't Shigan spiffy? I love her stuff. All With Good Intentions is done for now.....the sequel will pick up where Chapter 11 left off. Hopefully you all will be patient with me whilst I get working on it :D
philip72
2006-02-08, 23:33
Isn't Shigan spiffy? I love her stuff. All With Good Intentions is done for now.....the sequel will pick up where Chapter 11 left off. Hopefully you all will be patient with me whilst I get working on it :D
Totally spiffy, and you are as well. The two of you are so emotive when you write. If I wrote fanfic's they would be very descriptive and clinical sounding, I would never be able to conjure up those feelings of love and romantic angst, which the two of you seem to do so effortlessly.
I'm really looking forward to the sequel.
Isn't Shigan spiffy? I love her stuff. All With Good Intentions is done for now.....the sequel will pick up where Chapter 11 left off. Hopefully you all will be patient with me whilst I get working on it
I - I'm spif...? .......UeeEEHeeeEEHEehehEEHEEE!!!
*Stands in victory pose, brandishing fans ahoy with Mt. Fuji as background*
DAMN RIGHT PAL, I - AM - SPIFFY!!! OOOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!!!
/Shigan gets Kiyohime'd XD
*cough* um...actually guys, thanksalotitmeansalottome... *turns into five years old chibi-self, runs and hides behind Kieli's legs*
:)
Philip72, check out "Just Another Sunday" by Insane Alecto too, I have a inky feeling of that you'll like it ;)
philip72
2006-02-09, 02:18
Philip72, check out "Just Another Sunday" by Insane Alecto too, I have a inky feeling of that you'll like it ;)
Waaah! Your totally right.
That was so sweet and gooey (If I had any mayo in the fridge I would have made a ham & mayo sandwich for world peace right away).
Thanks Shigan, I have a goofy grin on my face right now.
Did you read Seravy's vignettes btw? Also great great stuff, love her writing to death.
btw, Kieli dear, you wouldn't know what your beta is up to? I've been chewing up my keyboard in waiting for her continuation.
*holds up 'DONT HURT SHIZNAT' sign*
And oh, I missed this...
I would never be able to conjure up those feelings of love and romantic angst, which the two of you seem to do so effortlessly.
If you only knew... you should have seen that *thing* I sent Kieli to beta through. One of those days I'll find myself at the end of a pair of mayo guns, begging her to let my hull remain slim. XD
Yazakura
2006-02-09, 10:09
Say...since Mai Otome seems to be getting fairly popular, and there's a few fics for it out, will pairings vary or be repetative?
Akuma-sama
2006-02-09, 12:15
I'm hoping they won't be; with HiME, the couples were pretty much set in stone; Shiznat (with a peek of Nato), Maite ('cuz Taai looks awful, and I'm not including Shite for obvious reasons), Akumi ('cuz we all KNOW who wears the pants in THAT relationship) and Ramen/Mikoto.
...Mikoto was pretty much the character with the most possibilities.
In Otome, though, only Shiznat is pretty much decided;
Arika could end up with Nina or Mashiro (or Sergei, but... um...)
Nina: Sergei (again, um...) or Erstin (pre-greensparkling)
Mashiro: Takumi, Arika or Nagi (for the political drama plots... :))
Nao: Shiho (XD) or Arika/Nina (or spiderman, really...)
Chie: Aoi
Shiho: A jamaican voodoo master by the name of Bubba :heh:
The point is, the main characters of HiME had their couples set; in Otome, though, the main trio is pretty much floating around... for now. Things might change, we've got 9 episodes left, and HiME just LOVED to throw curveballs at us at this point, so...
Did you read Seravy's vignettes btw? Also great great stuff, love her writing to death.
btw, Kieli dear, you wouldn't know what your beta is up to? I've been chewing up my keyboard in waiting for her continuation.
I have no idea. The woman jumped ship and I've not seen her since. School must be kicking her butt. We've not talked in almost a week! :(
If you only knew... you should have seen that *thing* I sent Kieli to beta through. One of those days I'll find myself at the end of a pair of mayo guns, begging her to let my hull remain slim. XD
Subtle, you are not :heh: I'll try to finish it up tonight and send it back to you.
Now that there's a new category for Mai HiME/Mai Otome at FF.net, I figured I'd link you all for it...some good stories there:
http://www.fanfiction.net/l/2244/3/0/1/1/0/0/0/0/0/1/
Totally spiffy, and you are as well. The two of you are so emotive when you write. If I wrote fanfic's they would be very descriptive and clinical sounding, I would never be able to conjure up those feelings of love and romantic angst, which the two of you seem to do so effortlessly.
I'm really looking forward to the sequel.
Holy ShizNat, Batman, I'm blushing! *shocked look* Oh lord, must...hide...self.....!
imperialmog
2006-02-09, 20:05
Kieli, I have to give some praise for the linkie. Of course I should of guessed what type of fics would be the most common. Though at least a couple did try to explain the aftermath of the carnival, since it seemed odd how everyone got their issues with each other fixed which doesn't make sense.
Your friends are busy lately, well aren't you yourself? I have to admit that you have emotions much better than I can ever write. Maybe it's that I'm more a science-geek type and communicating my thougts are hard.
Holy ShizNat, Batman, I'm blushing! *shocked look* Oh lord, must...hide...self.....!
You can't! I'm already hiding behind your legs see?
(So much for professionalism, a little praise and we both turn into puddles of warm mayo XD)
Subtle, you are not I'll try to finish it up tonight and send it back to you.
Again, stress not, I'm typing this from Dalien and won't be back in Beijing for another ten days or so :p
philip72
2006-02-11, 12:35
Thought I'd contribute a bit with probably the first fanfic about Tate. It was done as part of a livejournal group where you had to write twenty 'facts' about a character/pairing/whatever. And since our lovable shounen retard hardly gets any fanfiction, I thought I'd take up the challenge! :)
Enjoy (http://community.livejournal.com/20_dances/1236.html#cutid1)...or not.
Thanks twh,
Those are some interesting ideas.
Maybe persue them a bit farther.
(Except for the Shizuru harassment part, don't screw with Shiznat ;) :p )
Tremalkinger
2006-02-11, 15:16
I've finally updated Shades of Gray. It took me waaaay too long to write it, but I hope you enjoy it.
Shades of Gray (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2704933/1/)
Oh, and on the advice of my beta, KiraDouji, I'll reiterate that this is not a Shizuru/Natsuki story (and has some fairly strong anti-ShizNat elements, since one of central characters is Nao, and she's not exactly a fan). I love ShizNat, and I've read most of the stories written about that pairing, but its not the only viable pairing, and I chose to explore a different path. So... basically... don't kill me.
Thanks twh,
Those are some interesting ideas.
Maybe persue them a bit farther.
(Except for the Shizuru harassment part, don't screw with Shiznat ;) :p )
Glad you liked it. There's so little fanfiction for him.
As for Shizuru: Oh come now, there's plenty of comedic potential for Shizuru to be even more psychotically possessive than she already is. It works out fine for all parties!
Akuma-sama
2006-03-02, 11:04
I was browsing on Florestica, and I stumbled on this amusing little gem:
Mai Harem
http://www.florestica.com/corwin/oneshot/mh/index.htm
What a small change on Mai's character results into... :heh:
Tremalkinger
2006-03-02, 11:39
I was browsing on Florestica, and I stumbled on this amusing little gem:
Mai Harem
http://www.florestica.com/corwin/oneshot/mh/index.htm
What a small change on Mai's character results into... :heh:
That... was hysterical.
Tremalkinger
2006-03-11, 09:03
Chapter Four of Shades of Gray is up.
Tempest35
2006-03-11, 09:38
I was browsing on Florestica, and I stumbled on this amusing little gem:
Mai Harem
http://www.florestica.com/corwin/oneshot/mh/index.htm
What a small change on Mai's character results into... :heh:
...wow...poor Tate, he can't get no Mai this time around but....WOW~...hawtness abounds. The 3-SoME...:heh: Game, Set, and Match.
Akuma-sama
2006-03-11, 13:02
Chapter 4 of Mai∞HiME is UP! Enjoy! :D
WarpObscura
2007-03-31, 07:25
*Slams right foot onto thread, readies Ebony and prepares to Wild Stomp... Then realises is supposed to revive, not kill* Oops.
Intelligent, reference-filled SSStylish Hard Action. Prinz von Sommerhoffnung (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291350/1/) makes its AS debut. Stay open-minded and enjoy!
WarpObscura
2007-06-18, 07:11
PvS replacement for Ep14 (http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/80986.html), enjoy and do comment if you have any. It doesn't feel good enough despite its length and time put in.
I have an idea and rough story plan for a fanfic, but I would like to have some feedback before I start.
[spoilerific premise removed]
WarpObscura
2007-06-25, 08:26
^ Hmm... Sounds interesting. So you're going with the premise that Otome are the end result of Searrs' artificial HiME experiments, huh?
Oh, and read PvS if you don't mind. Wooshan alone can't fully critique it...
So you're going with the premise that Otome are the end result of Searrs' artificial HiME experiments, huh?
Indeed. By thew way, what's PvS?
WarpObscura
2007-06-26, 04:37
Indeed. By thew way, what's PvS?
*Slams right foot onto thread, readies Ebony and prepares to Wild Stomp... Then realises is supposed to revive, not kill* Oops.
Intelligent, reference-filled SSStylish Hard Action. Prinz von Sommerhoffnung (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291350/1/) makes its AS debut. Stay open-minded and enjoy!
And because AS won't let me use a quote to reply to a quote... ASFSDFHSJFSLFJSPFOFINS
WarpObscura
2007-07-09, 05:14
2nd draft of PvS Ep14 replacement (http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/81941.html) out in the MH LJ community, suggestions for improvement still welcome.
shanejayell
2007-07-25, 23:40
*Waves hi*
Here's my spoofy fic. ^_^
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3235789/1/The_Manga_Reaction
The first chapter of the HiME/Otome "interquel" will be up soon.
Here I have another idea: a Mai-Otome/Doctor Who crossover, in which [spoilerific premise removed]
WarpObscura
2007-07-29, 04:11
Doctor Who? You a fan too? Sounds like fun, but I have no idea how long that's gonna be Tennantble. Pun intended.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-07-31, 16:49
Doctor Who and Mai Otome?!? Awesome! Also your "interquel" sounds interesting, post the link as soon as it's on line.
Here is the first chapter of the interquel.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3711256/1/HiME
I'm too sleepy to post BTS comments, but I'll do that ASAP. For now, it's sufficient to say that the title is a pun, following the tradition, involving the yet-to-be-introduced protagonist; and there will be three more chapters (inspired by the four-episode format of Zwei).
Some Searrs musings, Miyu action, Nagi being cryptic, and the return of one of the HiME. If you read carefully, you will probably guess which one. It will be revealed in the next chapter anyway.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-08-08, 16:29
Cool! Thank you, I'll definitely read it.
WarpObscura
2007-08-08, 22:02
How is the title supposed to be pronounced?
How is the title supposed to be pronounced?
By the kanji: "Mai HiME Ryou".
I elaborated a bit more on that in a review, along with some other comments. http://www.fanfiction.net/r/3711256/
I suppose I'll throw my hat in the ring as soon as I compile this story. You guys should like it, if you like a good sci-fi story.
WarpObscura
2007-08-16, 10:24
Here's an idea for the Who crossover if you're still working on it, Sikon:
"Ohh yes. Harmless is just the word: that's why I like it! Doesn't kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. But I'll tell you what it does do - it is very good at deconstructing things..." The Doctor pointed the sonic screwdriver at the nearest Slave and pressed the switch.
It instantly broke apart and collapsed.
"Whoops, I seem to have reused my own words," He uttered dryly, winking at the flabbergasted expression on Smith's face.
Slaves (and Schwartz) aren't in, but there's another way in which I can use this quote, and I'll consider it. :) (For a record, it's set one year after Zwei, so I probably won't post it until Zwei 4 comes out and I can correct any continuity issues.)
WarpObscura
2007-08-17, 05:06
No Schwarz? Pity, you could have had fun with John Smith.
I do have plans for the Doctor's favorite alias ;)
WarpObscura
2007-08-17, 09:53
I suppose this will be "before" the events of Utopia, right?
It does make a Whovian wonder, doesn't it? Could Nagi and Mashiro have originally been renegade Time Lords sentenced to exile in a parallel universe? It would certainly explain why they know so much despite their apparent youth. If we take the Doctor (and a certain other Time Lord) as an example, his regenerations get younger as they go down the line. If this applies uniformly, then they could be at a late-stage regeneration, the 11th or the 12th.
I do admit that it doesn't explain their "abilities", though.
I suppose this will be "before" the events of Utopia, right?
Indeed - somewhere during the third season. I firmly decided to make it a Martha story, if only to piss off the Doctor/Rose shippers, whom I loathe. (And there is a surprise for fans of a certain Mai-Otome pairing as well.)
Could Nagi and Mashiro have originally been renegade Time Lords sentenced to exile in a parallel universe?
Mashiro is a human. She was the winner of the previous HiME carnival, after all.
As for Nagi, being a Time Lord was a theory that I sort of considered (I even considered the possibility that he's a future incarnation of the Doctor), and it may be worth exploration in a separate story. Hmmm...
(This, of course, only applies to Nagi Homura, not Nagi Dai Artai.)
WarpObscura
2007-08-18, 01:46
I think Nagi Homura the Time Lord would fit better as a regeneration of one of the malicious renegades like the Master or the Rani instead. Even at the height of his trickery in McCoy's tenure, the Doctor always had a noble intention despite whatever questionable means he used. The Festival/Carnival certainly would not have been something he would approve of.
But we are digressing from the Otome-focused roots of the crossover, aren't we?
The second chapter of 舞HiME了 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3711256/2/HiME), the interquel, is finished. Reviews are welcome.
BTS comments are available as a review (http://www.fanfiction.net/r/3711256/0/1).
The spoiler has a list of canonical characters and items featured in this chapter, but if you're going to read, it's better not to read the spoiler first.
In this order: Natsuki's GEM and gun; Fumi (Otome version); a nonexistent-in-canon Otome counterpart of Ishigami; Miyu; Mikoto.
On to Doctor Who, after Zwei 4 comes out!
Dang.
I knew, I just knew, that putting in Mayo and Shion was a mistake. I expected Zwei 4 to necessitate some retcons, but heck, I couldn't anticipate Sunrise's decision to feature the Destiny characters in Mai-Otome 0 of all things!
Well, at least now it looks like I'm forced not to kill these two off later as planned. I've thought of a more-or-less plausible retcon, but it took me totally off guard. I will deal with the doppleganger problem, however, and the solution will probably be connected to the already-planned explanation for HiME dopplegangers in Otome proper.
Some more continuity problems introduced by Zwei 4:
* A different Emerald GEM - easy to retcon
* The PWD and the UBD being one and the same apparently... But it's stupid and makes no sense, so I'll discount this one on the Unknown Entity being delusional or something like that.
<yoda>Meditate on this, I will.</yoda>
Fortunately, apart from some minor issues that I will rectify, the impact on the Doctor Who one seems to be minimal.
AthenAltena
2007-08-23, 17:48
I'll throw my hat into the ring, too. This is the first MH thing I've written, Natsuki-centric, using some details from the translated parts of "Natsuki's Prelude" as reference.
Baby Steps (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3740458/1/Baby_Steps)
And since I can't get the spoiler tag to show for some reason, only real spoilers are parts of Natsuki's background from MH
The spoiler tag is made by using text. You will need JavaScript enabled for it to show its contents properly.
As for the story: I've commented on FFN, and, being a Natsuki fan, I'm dying for more!
WarpObscura
2007-08-28, 09:18
Hey, Sikon, what does Pfeilwurzburg mean anyway? I'm drawing a blank on my German dictionary. Is it Russkie or some other European language?
Ah. Forgot to mention that in the review. My mistake.
Pfeilwurz = arrowroot, burg = castle. It's a bit too literal translation of "Katsuragi". No real story significance, just another opaque Eva reference for the sake of it. :)
WarpObscura
2007-08-28, 11:56
Arrowroot? What, that's even more confusing than anything I've thrown into PvS.
The first half-chapter of the Doctor Who one is up (see signature). The second, which will finish the first half of the two-parter, will be up today or tomorrow.
(That's just because I decided to go with shorter chapters this time.)
WarpObscura
2007-09-05, 07:33
FanTAStic! Absolutely Fantastic.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-09-05, 09:56
I second it!
Poor Akane, by the way...;)
There'll be three more deaths, one of them via contract. And it will be revealed who killed Akane (and why) and whether it means Kazuya is dead too.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-09-05, 12:59
I was wondering about Kazuya. So, looking forward for those three deaths ;-)
WarpObscura
2007-09-07, 11:09
Is it polite to attempt a second pimping of Prinz von Sommerhoffnung (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291350/1/)? Some review from the more astute, open-minded, Genre (and content) Savvy members of our fandom would be very much appreciated, considering that my two betas (as is with myself) are engaged in preparing for a promotional examination.
Greetings,
I am Saint X, resident denizen of the Nearby Nanoha Thread and one of the OC / Fanfic specialists in that universe.
I'm also a fan of the Mai-Series, especially Otome, well as they say back there- high enough technology is magic. And with the Multiverisiality of the my host thread in effect, we tend to drag some in...
Well what i was saying that i have a Planned to Publish work in the HiME/Otome section of FF.net that involves these things
Crossover with another series
Lots of OCs and CCs from both worlds
Integration of Both anime and manga elements
Two sides of the Same Conflict - Me taking care of the Otome side while another friend of mine taking care of the other series side.
- a lot of things... but maybe this snippet from my friend can do:
Arika blinked as her weapon rammed into an invisible layer.
The unnamed pilot grinned.
Kha gasped. "That's..."
"Aah!" the Meister Otome screamed as she caught the mechanical's arm bodily. The girl was flung out of control and cratered the shop face, falling flat on her face as momentum rebounded her off the masonry and into the sidewalk.
The Armored Slave took several menacing steps closer as the battered girl, bleeding from cuts all over, struggled to get onto her fours. "Hahaha... Still being cocky, little girl?"
"She won't stand a chance against a Lamba Shielder!" The Cleric yelled and threw all protocol to the wind as he placed a hand onto the parapet and sailed over the edge.
"Kha...?" Fate saw her friend charging forward, and instinctively reached out to him. "Hey wait! We're not supposed to--"
She missed by an inch and Kha plunged headlong towards the imbalanced fight below. His hand was to his chest, his device sending out rays of marine through his clothes.
"Oh Elemental Light, the Truth, the Justice, the Good, I hand this body up to you." He chanted, eyes closed in prayer, as the glow at his throat grew greater and greater. "I beseech you, protect my allies with all our power."
"Oh Gift of the Naaru..." Kha snapped his eyes open with conviction. "Shine! Tausend Kreuz Sakurazaki!"
"Matrix, Activation"
---
Same time. High Orbit over Hyren. Her Majesty's Starship (HMS) Athura. Command Bridge.
A reading bearing Kha's portrait came up on Amy's terminal. "Chrono! Sakura's been activated!"
"What?" The captain sat up and barked, "What does that idiot think he's doing?!"
---
A panel in the nameless aggressor's cockpit flickered a warning, and the red Armored Slave shifted back and looked up. Bursting out of his blue transformation bubble, Kha roared as he brought Sakura down hard onto his adversary. The ripples of mana surged out from where he connected with the Slave's barrier, but unlike Arika Kha had his own - "Gotteliches Schield" - deflecting the reflected shock of his own attack.
"Oh a barrier too?" remarked the pilot slyly and pushed the controls deeper. The Armored Slave however found itself being pushed back from Kha's attack, and a second later the shadowed Slave driver jumped the humanoid summoning ten metres back. Kha padded onto the stop in front of the downed Otome. "Not bad kid."
der Kleriker ignored the slight, and shifted back to a proper battle stance. "Pick on one someone your own size, or shall I have to drum it into you?"
Meanwhile, Arika was barely able to stay awake as she flat on her stomach once more. Every part of her felt like it exploded, and nothing moved as it supposed. "This... isn't suppose to happen..."
Her vision swimming, Arika looked at the newcover swathed in white as his barrier shimmered into invisibility. "Who... are you...?"
Kha replied a sidewards glance of his own. "Hang on, I'll be right back."
"Who are you talking TOO?" The Slave roared as it unleashed another hadoken of mana from its fists, the emphasis coinciding with the sudden strain of the throw. Kha was off in a burst of verniers, skating on hoversoles as he rushed into the path of the projectile.
Sakura skittered the next spell - [I]"Segen des Schongebiets" - over her gemstone core and the Gotteliches Schield shimmered as the Blessing spell took effect. The impact of the energy attack was great against the prepared shield, but as the smoke cleared from the suddenly opague shield, it was obvious that Kha was not even slowed.
The bubble twisted into a spire pointed forward, and it pinched off as a rocket toward the mecha's heart. It slammed into the Armored Slave's barrier and it took effort for its pilot to dispell it. Kha made use of the time that spell bought to accelerate - "Greller Schritt" - and plunge his spear blade head-on and into the barrier.
"eingefetteter Blitz!" Sakura announced firmly.
Once again the two shields warred for dominance in a brilliant display of blue versus gray. der Kleriker yanked on the pistol grip a couple of times, loading and discharging two metal cylinders from the mechanism. The Gotteliches Rapier blades glowed brighter; slowly, the head point dug deeper and deeper into the shield.
"No way..." the masked pilot complained under his breath and broke away once more. He began channeling another bolt to throw, but was interrupted by several lance heads of sizzling yellow impacting his weakened shield, with one of them biting through and burning a hole in the plate armor. The mecha teetottered for a second, then the nameless driver regained control.
"Fate...?" Kha questioned half in his mind and half in words as the sorceress in black landed beside him.
She just nodded. "I'll help."
The pilot sweated as he realigned his sights on his targets; he could not believe he was getting out-moded all of a sudden. And his fears grew worse when he heard another voice from above cry, "INDIGNATION!"
"Martel?" quipped Kha as both mages looked up at Hayate holding the Book of Heaven in one hand, and pointing the SchwertKreuz at a growing ball of white. At that point, she released the spell.
"Hrćsvelgr!!!"
Sensors screaming blue murder, the pilot moved the mecha to spring into the air, but the massive attack exploded onto the asphalt and into a shockwave that caught the Armored Slave, as well as wrecked the adjacent shopfaces, in the stomach, shredding and melting part of its armor and sending the whole machine flying for a good distance before it crashed into the ground and scattered more parts in all directions.
"Argh, that's enough fun for today." With that the pilot played his fingers and feet, and the limping machine got up and jetted for the Windbloom city borders. "Let's meet again, kid!"
"You're not getting away!" Nanoha yelled as she hefted the Raising Heart into position, rings of sigils closing into orbit around the weapon as magenta magica flowed into the sphere of mass destruction while the device cocked a cartridge in. "DIVINE...
"...Buster." Raising Heart completed, then fired. There was a bang, then a whiz, followed by the thunderous rush of pure energy as the mother of all blasts roared towards the escaping Slave. The pilot could only look back and gasp as his ride was completely swallowed up by the deadly pink. The reactor housing gave under the intense crush, and the whole machine erupted into a massive ball of flame that spewed debris in all directions. Some of the bigger parts crashed to tiled houses and set off chain explosions, others slammed into cars, walls and open spaces. People were running and screaming from the burning deadfall, if they have not already fled when the machine first appeared.
Fate watched the flaming fuselage of the wreck descend upon a distant patch then turned to her partner. "Let's go check for survivors... Huh?"
Kha was not moving; instead he seemed focused on a point in the sky. Fortunately for him, the orange sunset and his iron mask disguised the pinkness of his face.
"Kha? What is it?" Fate asked innocently.
"Ah- huh?" der Kleriker snapped back to reality rather shakened and hastily steadied himself. "Oh it's nothing really."
And so she thought nothing more about it. "We must hurry if we want to retain him for questioning."
Kha watched Fate bound into the air and zip away. Meanwhile his mind went back to what he had seen. "Hayate's wearing pink today... Oi that's a sin! Snap out of it!"
He was about to jet after Fate when he suddenly remembered the girl who had been flattened into the concrete earlier. "Better tend to her first!"
"Hayate-chan!" Nanoha called out as she saw the ship medic stride over debris to reach the fallen Otome below as she flew to the side of the Mistress of the Night Sky. "Should we follow Fate, or remain with Kha?"
"I think we should follow Fate. If there are survivors, she might need support."
Nanoha agreed, and the both of them flitted off.
- i need ideas really...
Please be kind to me people...
WarpObscura
2007-09-10, 08:55
Well, Sikon, I like being unique, and my section splitter certainly is, mess though it might be. Now, could I please have some constructive commentary?
Certainly. :) I was going to write a review earlier, but I get distracted too easily.
WarpObscura
2007-09-10, 10:39
Hahah, don't worry. It happens to the best of us. It might be fair warning, though, to note that it's subtitled "Intelligent, Reference-filled SSStylish Hard Action" for a reason. A good knowledge of what each character looks like, as well as a sharp mind able to handle wordplay, are needed to appreciate it. My two betas did warn me enough that the "average" fan wouldn't be interested in the Lawyer Friendly Cameos aplenty.
Lawyer Friendly Cameos? o_O
WarpObscura
2007-09-10, 11:38
You see, because I avoid naming almost everyone by their official names... Okay, that's not really Cameo, it isn't, if it applies to almost everyone.
WarpObscura
2007-09-12, 08:31
Hey, Atlantis_Lux (what d'ya want me to address you as? Will "AL" do, or would you prefer "Lux"?), were there any parts of Prinz von Sommerhoffnung you didn't quite understand?
Atlantis_Lux
2007-09-12, 10:44
Lux is fine for me. And you, by the way? :)
There aren't really parts that I do not understand, but probably (if it's not something you need to keep secret) it would be better if you write down in the end of each chapter the names of the equivalent characters in Mai Hime so that people don't get confused.
Then... I caught the reference to Hellsing when Ywiu releases her powers and here " That which defeats a monster is always a human." but does the same go for the guns of Sommerhoffnung? Anaconda could be the Jackal... could be...
I'm sure there are tons of other cameos that I didn't recognize, but I have a funny feeling here "Svarog shot forth, brutally Materassi-ing the hostile monster". Materassing? Is it a word play that refers to the last soccer world cup? :p
WarpObscura
2007-09-13, 06:01
Warp will do.
The names of the guns reference popular bands. Look up the lyrics that Sommerhoffnung sings and you'll find which ones they are. Draysoph's name is also a musical reference, but specifically an anagram. Yes, the Materassi thing was meant to refer to that incident.
Did you get the "It's a Bridget" one? There are many Devil May Cry references lying around. There's at least one Star Wars reference and one crab-related meme. I also played around with some of the original dialogue to suit the new premises.
If you have any more comments, please do tell. It would help greatly.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-09-13, 13:49
Yep! Caught the reference to Devil May Cry. Angel May Laugh right? :p
But I totally lost the Star Wars one. I suppose I have to read it again. :D
By the way, what is a Category C ka-chung?
WarpObscura
2007-09-14, 05:55
Well, yes, Angel May Laugh was the most obvious, but there are more. For the Star Wars one, you'll want to look back in the later parts of that series. "Ka-chung" is Hokkien for "a$$".
Sorry about the lack of a review for your story, WarpObscura - I was busy finishing the second half-chapter of mine (the Doctor Who one). Now that it's online, I'll have the review posted tomorrow.
And here comes the review (http://www.fanfiction.net/r/3291350/)!
WarpObscura
2007-09-19, 04:23
Thanks for it! I reviewed your Who-crossover. I'll take some time here to reply to your review... Or would you prefer it to be Review Reply'd?
It was a bit hard to delve into at first, but easier so after I figured out the
Did you mean to complete the sentence, perhaps with "names of the characters" or something like that?
You handled a number of aspects better than Sunrise - for instance, the conversation between Sommerhoffnung (Mai... yes, I know, she's actually Natsuki's counterpart) and Kan-za-ji (Yuuichi). There's a certain feeling I get when the dialogue is "real-wordly/plausible/flowing" (as opposed to "forced/artificial/convoluted"), when they say exactly what real people thrust into these unfortunate circumstances would probably say.
I daresay I did what I could, but there are some things we Muggles just won't ever experience, eh?
I assume the "Otome character who doesn't appear on screen much but nevertheless plays a significant part in the story" is Lena Sayers?
Got it in one.
There's one thing I couldn't understand from the context. HiME is set in "our" world - and maintains plausible deniability as much as it can. Otome is set in the far future. What about this story? It seems that it uses fictional countries and languages (like Kinglish) on an alternate Earth in a setting inspired by Chinese culture - is this correct?
Actually, the names are amongst the very few things that reference the idea's original roots in the Mega Man Battle Network series. Names like Choina, Electopia, Kingland, Netopia, and Yumland were originally from there, but Gothofurtoa is a modified portmaneau of "Goth" and "Frankfurt" carried out in that series' whimsical naming convention.
First, formatting. Some of it I got covered before - the separators, for example. It may be an artistic choice, but it's really hard to read with separators like these. FFN supports bold and italic fonts, centering (which can be used for titles and separators), horizontal rules and line-breaks. Next time, you can preview the document and make corrections in the browser itself before publishing, even if FFN's uploader mangles the original formatting (it does that constantly).
I'm aware of the editing features, but having to work with them every time I edit the document gets tiring very fast. I'll look into it, though.
Second, while "Quake I symbol" is funny, it's not necessary to call it that - just establish somewhere in the exposition that the KOUTASHI symbol looks like that, and then refer to it as the KOUTASHI symbol from now on. It's better for suspension of disbelief. :)
Crap, I should have known I wasn't clear enough to distinguish between the KOUTAISHI symbol, that is the spiral, and the alto-clef-entwined-with-the-Quake-symbol. I'll fix the thing sometime in the future.
Third, hair colors. Of course, it's probably just me... but I just regard the convention as a convention, and maintain that if those weird anime hair colors don't exist, they don't exist period. So, for example, in the Doctor Who story, I took the liberty in "retconning" Natsuki and Nina's hair colors because I can't accept that they LITERALLY have blue hair. Of course, one can assume that the convention in this story is just a convention as well, so we can recognize the characters, and they don't literally have these hair colors. Which I will. :) Even if the Word of Author(tm) tells me otherwise.
I suppose you can treat this however you want. In the end, this sort of detail is minor. Didn't you catch that Lampshade Hang in the first chapter? XD
And fourth, I'll probably mention this objection in a "My MEGAMI" review, but it's not necessary to decipher these wacky acronyms. "HiME" was a borderline case, but it was within the degrees of plausible. Even "乙HiME" was already pushing the borders of "no-way-they-could-have-adopted-something-like-that-ness", and the proposed meaning of "KOUTASHI" was outright silly. There's no need to decipher them, really - we don't know what SEELE, NERV and GEHIRN stand for in Evangelion (except for the meaning of the original German words), but that doesn't in any way damage the story. Some things are better left unexplained - or just ignored.
I sort of figured that out after-the-fact, but I never really wanted to play this 100% straight in the first place.
Having said all that, I'm looking forward to Chapter 4. You seem to be taking a "serious" approach, and as a rabid fanservice hater, I'm eager to see what you'll do with the fanservice-ridden fourth episode.
Well, I couldn't quite figure out how to make that particular episode work, so you'll have to wait, I'm afraid. On the other hand, if you so desire, you may skip ahead to the replacement for Episode 14, which I have made a second draft of. Here: http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/81941.html
I notice you didn't say anything about the various inline references. Any reason why?
Did you mean to complete the sentence, perhaps with "names of the characters" or something like that?
I wanted to say "figured out the character counterparts", but forgot to finish the sentence.
"Quake I", on the other hand, is FFN's meddling - it was "Quake III", but the two other I's somehow got lost when I submitted it. (And while we're at it, I don't understand why FFN's software censors /'s and -'s out of titles and summaries, anong other characters - I have to find ways around that.)
As for the lampshade hangings... I spotted two. This
"Seriously, why is she holding that thing like that?" A random person asked. No one had an answer.
was funny. This...
"Why is everyone staring at me? Does having an unusual hair colour mean that I am supposed to be special in more ways than just aesthetic? Am I a protagonist in a narrative or something?"
on the other hand, failed to impress me, but that's because I dislike fourth wall breaks, except in shows centered around their self-aware wackiness, like Excel Saga. I would have probably worded that as: "Does it imply the universe revolves around me or something?"
I notice you didn't say anything about the various inline references. Any reason why?
Mostly because I didn't seek for cultural references - sadly, I'm not familiar enough with foreign cultures to understand them.
------------
And now to questions about the "Who-crossover" :).
What was he doing recounting the Christmas Invasion for, anyway?
The Doctor was using one of his favorite tactics: talking the enemies into confusion and underestimating him (since he knew they would disregard his stories as complete nonsense anyway). He would probably get away if not for the Otome's intervention...
Evolution of the Daleks came right before, I suppose? Is "he lives" supposed to refer to Kazu?
Yes, it's supposed to take place immediately after Evolution of the Daleks. It's a minor detail, but this is why Martha has the psychic paper and not the Doctor - she never returned it on-screen in that episode.
And yes, "he lives" refers to Kazuya - perhaps I should have made it more obvious, which I will when he appears and plays his role in the plot. :)
There's a minor typo: "is a school that trains Otome, and I am its current headmaster." Did you mean "It's"?
Indeed. As usual, it was 1:00 AM and I couldn't be bothered to proofread. :(
Where did "Four-Dot Ellipsis" come from?
A fellow Wookieepedia user ("Thefourdotelipsis (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/User:Thefourdotelipsis)", actually). He complained that his nickname choice means that tuckerization (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tuckerization) would forever elude him in Star Wars canon... so I jokingly promised I'd insert his nickname into one of my fanfics. I did.
It's minor, but "Xelman Greenwood" in the other story is a reference to two other Wookieepedians - "Xelman" and Steven "Riffsyphon1024" Greenwood.
Which alien species are you referring to and which Time Lord? The Master? The Rani? The Meddling Monk?
The species is the Obsidian Prince's species. It was actually a small continuity nod, so to speak - readers can assume that the Doctor refers to the events of Mai-HiME, with the "renegade Time Lord" being Nagi. Of course, readers who don't believe that Mai-Otome and Mai-HiME occurred in the same continuity are free to disregard this as yet another coincidence.
(I don't believe that it was Sunrise's intent to have them occur in the same continuity, so I don't regard it as canon - but it's one of the premises of the shared universe I'm hoping to create, with these two stories and upcoming ones.)
Thesinwithin
2007-09-19, 08:41
Hey everyone, I've been lurking around here for something like forever, but you guys are actually doing what I've always wanted people to do with fanfiction, but they never do (except on EE's If There Be Thorns, but you need to on that fic) - actually going through and doing analysis.
Good for you guys.
Let's see, I've written some Mai-fic recently, more so than I usually do while House is airing. I divide my time evenly. :D
Shameless plugging / I'd really love some feedback:
Killpoint (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3706450/1/Killpoint)
Passages (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3767271/1/Passages)
The Strange Affair of the Katsu Ruins (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2975894/1/The_Strange_Affair_of_the_Katsu_Ruins) <-- that one's being edited right now, so it's seems rather half-gone through right now.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-09-19, 11:17
Oh, wow. Those are my favorite Mai fanfictions, and you are a very talented writer. :D
I suck in writing good reviews and I'm actually quite busy with my work, but I promise to all of you better comments in the next days for the updated chapters of Passages and The Forgotten Colony... .
And yes, I'll sit down quietly waiting for the next chapter of Killpoint. :p
WarpObscura
2007-09-20, 08:50
I wanted to say "figured out the character counterparts", but forgot to finish the sentence.
"Quake I", on the other hand, is FFN's meddling - it was "Quake III", but the two other I's somehow got lost when I submitted it. (And while we're at it, I don't understand why FFN's software censors /'s and -'s out of titles and summaries, anong other characters - I have to find ways around that.)
Oh, right. Yeah, I'll agree on that punctuation issue. Hasn't it been raised already?
As for the lampshade hangings... I spotted two. This
was funny. This...
on the other hand, failed to impress me, but that's because I dislike fourth wall breaks, except in shows centered around their self-aware wackiness, like Excel Saga. I would have probably worded that as: "Does it imply the universe revolves around me or something?"
Oh.
We appear to be on different frequencies, then. You see, the first line you mentioned there is canonical, it (or some sufficiently close variant) appeared in the actual thing. I intend to walk as close to the line as possible without actually crossing it. We'll see how it works out.
Mostly because I didn't seek for cultural references - sadly, I'm not familiar enough with foreign cultures to understand them.
Same problem as above, I'm afraid. One of PvS' aims was to be as culturally savvy as plausible.
Some, like the 300 or DW references, should be obvious.
Others require more thought or specialisation. For example, there's the "It's a Bridget!" in Chapter One, which only proficient Internetians will get. Another example would be the "'Mistress Prebr' is not the name of any country I have ever heard of. They speak Rancaskan in 'Mistress Prebr'?" line, which plays on another highly-referential work.
Then there are those which should be obvious but are cunningly-hidden, like Sweetdream Alpha or Muesterteklang's name.
There's a lot of divergent thinking to be done, part of the fun is identifying each of the references as they pop up.;)
------------
And now to questions about the "Who-crossover" :).
The Doctor was using one of his favorite tactics: talking the enemies into confusion and underestimating him (since he knew they would disregard his stories as complete nonsense anyway). He would probably get away if not for the Otome's intervention...
Well, it would have been too easy if he got away like that, wouldn't it?
Yes, it's supposed to take place immediately after Evolution of the Daleks. It's a minor detail, but this is why Martha has the psychic paper and not the Doctor - she never returned it on-screen in that episode.
And yes, "he lives" refers to Kazuya - perhaps I should have made it more obvious, which I will when he appears and plays his role in the plot. :)
That works, I suppose, though sometimes it's preferable to not spell things out so clearly. Solid Shark (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/380886/Solid_Shark)'s one of those experts in leaving the reader questioning despite the existing basis for his fan-works.
A fellow Wookieepedia user ("Thefourdotelipsis (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/User:Thefourdotelipsis)", actually). He complained that his nickname choice means that tuckerization (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tuckerization) would forever elude him in Star Wars canon... so I jokingly promised I'd insert his nickname into one of my fanfics. I did.
It's minor, but "Xelman Greenwood" in the other story is a reference to two other Wookieepedians - "Xelman" and Steven "Riffsyphon1024" Greenwood.
Hahah, smart. I've got some of that worked out for the future, myself.
The species is the Obsidian Prince's species. It was actually a small continuity nod, so to speak - readers can assume that the Doctor refers to the events of Mai-HiME, with the "renegade Time Lord" being Nagi. Of course, readers who don't believe that Mai-Otome and Mai-HiME occurred in the same continuity are free to disregard this as yet another coincidence.
(I don't believe that it was Sunrise's intent to have them occur in the same continuity, so I don't regard it as canon - but it's one of the premises of the shared universe I'm hoping to create, with these two stories and upcoming ones.)
Hmm... So you're invoking Clarke's Third Law as an "explanation" for HiME powers?
Hmm... So you're invoking Clarke's Third Law as an "explanation" for HiME powers?
The way I see it, I had no choice - it was either retconning the Mai-HiME magic into "magic from technology" or abandoning the "Otome are Searrs-created artificial HiME" premise. The reason is simple: technology can be reverse-engineered and modified - unlike magic.
Think of Stargate as an analogy. The Stargates are remnants of alien technology whose abilities are regarded by the primitive locals as magic - and the Goa'uld milk this superstition for as much as they can. The SGC, on the other hand, not only regard the Earth Stargate as what it really is (impressive technology, rather than magic), but even had to create their own dialing mechanism to compensate for the lost DHD - gaining more understanding and control of the Stargate's operation as a result.
The backstory I developed for my Mai stories (there are more to come after these two) is along these lines, although I hadn't watched Stargate by that time, and only used its general premise as an inspiration, to explain how humans colonized Earl. I originally considered having Searrs master actual space travel, but I reconsidered as it would have to be discovered very soon after Mai-HiME - something unlikely even for an organization able to build a fully-functional AI android by 2004. Having a "magic" door capable of interplanetary travel, however, would surely help with such early expansion - if they reverse-engineered it... and the destruction of the HiME Star disrupted Searrs' plan to (ever) take over the Carnival, forcing them to seek alternate ways of starting the Golden Millennium - which itself will be a plot point.
As for spelling things out clearly: I'm now under full understanding that most readers don't read between the lines (except when it involves sex), so when I make a point, I try to convey it as clearly as I can while not being overly anvilicious. Also, I try not to introduce any mysteries to which I don't have an answer myself: to take Akane as an example, I "know for myself" who, why and when killed her, and why it didn't result in Kazuya's death-by-contract. And every question that I explicitly raise will be answered eventually - the only question is when!
Chapter 3 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3711256/4/HiME_Mai_HiME_Ryou) of "Mai HiME Ryou" is out. New "revelations" (in "my universe", that is) about the Otomeverse include the origins of the "Mikoto animal ensemble" and the term "乙HiME"/"Otome", as well as the beginning of Fumi's involvement with the Otome.
Tomorrow I'll review Thesinwithin's stories.
Same_Shark
2007-09-27, 19:23
Chapter 3 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3711256/4/HiME_Mai_HiME_Ryou) of "Mai HiME Ryou" is out. New "revelations" (in "my universe", that is) about the Otomeverse include the origins of the "Mikoto animal ensemble" and the term "乙HiME"/"Otome", as well as the beginning of Fumi's involvement with the Otome.
Tomorrow I'll review Thesinwithin's stories.
Chapter 3 ROCKS! Keep it up!
The third Doctor Who half-chapter has followed - and I hope to finish "The Maiden's Flight" tomorrow, and resolve everything.
ShizNat fans, please don't kill me.
After that, I'll finish the other story, and then we'll see which way I go, depending on the reception. One thing is certain: all my current and future stories will be part of the same continuity.
Atlantis_Lux
2007-10-03, 14:48
I've finally read the latest chapters you posted Sikon. The third chapter of "The Forgotten Colony..." is for sure surprising. It'll be interesting to see how they'll manage to counterattack without two of their best warriors.
The Mai HiME Ryou new upload is good too. Even better for my taste. I like the believable way you are linking together Hime and Otome, and I appreciate the political background you are creating around the characters.
Finished the other one as well. BTS notes will follow tomorrow.
There'll be a sequel centered around the founding of Garderobe and the original Five Columns.
Same_Shark
2007-11-04, 13:46
Finished the other one as well. BTS notes will follow tomorrow.
There'll be a sequel centered around the founding of Garderobe and the original Five Columns.
Definately can't wait for the sequel. Maybe you could add some illustrations with the characters next time.
WarpObscura
2007-12-22, 22:27
Prinz von Sommerhoffnung Chapter Four is in the house! Do enjoy and review.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291350/4/Prinz_von_Sommerhoffnung
http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/92312.html
EDIT: BTS at my LJ (http://warpobscura.livejournal.com/19390.html).
viciousambitious
2008-01-04, 17:33
Title: Stray Dogs
Rated: M
Summary: In the near future, Japan has become corrupt. Anarchy and violence are common, gangs are ever prevalent. This story focuses on the Duran gang, as they cross paths with their most bitter enemy . Shoujoai, AU Natsuki, Shizuru.
Story is located here:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3984594/1/Stray_Dogs
viciousambitious
2008-01-04, 17:47
Title: Kaguya
Rated: T
Summary: Mai Otome. Someone appears from Shizuru Viola's and Natsuki Kruger's past and creates a rift between them.
Story located here:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991541/1/Kaguya
silverstri
2008-01-07, 01:04
Title: Kaguya
Rated: T
Summary: Mai Otome. Someone appears from Shizuru Viola's and Natsuki Kruger's past and creates a rift between them.
Story located here:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991541/1/Kaguya
Good start!!
Update pls!!!
;)
kitten320
2008-01-10, 18:19
Well I have started recently new story with fake movie trailer XD Decided to make my version of it...not sure how good it is but here is link ;) Comments are always welcomed ;) Oh! And the actual story starts from chapter 2 ;)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3949593/1/The_Great_Battle_of_Fuuka
I'm very surprised that no one wrote something like this before... Anyway what do you think?
viciousambitious
2008-03-30, 18:20
ust a quick drabble This is an upcoming Noir fic I'm working on.. Tell me what you think. I apologize about the formatting. Also I have written this in script form but the fic will be first person with descriptions.. It's rated PG-13 for suggestive content.
INT. PARADISE LOUNGE -- CONTINUOUS
Natsuki walks in through the door. The club is filled with men in suits and women wearing cocktail dresses. She walks towards the bar.
NATSUKI (V.O.)
The Paradise Lounge. A watering hole for the ultra rich and aristocrats alike. The name Nagi came up in a few low key reviews claiming the place as this year's hot spot.
Natsuki walks across the street towards the lounge.
NATSUKI (V.O.)
Shizuru Fujino was the main attraction, a Kyoto bird that mysteriously flew in one day to the audition. They said she had the most beautiful voice, not that I would complain. She was statuesque and gracefull, but people said she had a tendancy to be mischeivious. And those eyes ...those piercing, red ruby eyes that with just one look, would pierce into one’s own soul.
As Natsuki nears the bar something catches her ear. A piano begins to play and a femenine voice begins to sing. She looks over her shoulder and sees a gorgeous woman on the stage. She has long brunette hair, a sparkling violet dress and scarlet red lipstick. She is Shizuru Fujino and she's leaning on the piano holding the microphone and singing into it. The bartender approaches Natsuki, who is so enchanted she has not noticed him.
BARTENDER
What can I get ya?
Natsuki doesn't respond.
BARTENDER (CONT'D)
Kid?
Natsuki is still gazing at the stage. The bartender grabs Natsuki's shoulder and she quickly turns to face him.
BARTENDER (CONT'D)
Hey, gawk all you want, but there's a two drink minimum.
NATSUKI
Oh, awh, I'll have a beer.
BARTENDER
Beer? Kid, this is a cocktail bar. You want beer, you go somewhere else.
NATSUKI
I'll take a gin and tonic then.
BARTENDER
(sarcastically)
Good choice.
Natsuki looks back to the stage and sees that Shizuru has finished singing and is chatting it up with some over eager fans. She notices Natsuki staring at her and Natsuki quickly abruptly looks away.
After a while, Natsuki looks back towards her and Shizuru is approaching her. The bartender puts a drink down in front of Natsuki and waits to be paid. Natsuki realizes and starts searching her pockets for money in her trenchcoat. Unbeknownst to her, Shizuru approaches and sits beside her.
SHIZURU
Put that on my tab, Reito-san.
She pulls out a silver cigarette case and puts one in her mouth and lights it up. She offers one to Natsuki. Natsuki declines it with a gesture.
NATSUKI
Smoking is a bad habit.
She leans over and lights her cigarette with a match.
SHIZURU
Yes, well, we can't always be good these days.
She presses her lips together and slowly blows the match out. Her cleavage catches Natsuki's eye.
NATSUKI
You always buy drinks for strangers?
Shizuru grins and winks at her.
SHIZURU
Only the cute ones.
NATSUKI
Cheers.
Natsuki takes a drink of her gin and tonic. She cringes as she puts the drink on the bar, while coughing.
SHIZURU
Too much for ya?
NATSUKI
I've had harder.
SHIZURU
Oh, I'm sure you have.
Natsuki looks her over and clears her throat.
SHIZURU (CONT'D)
You look familiar, come around here often?
NATSUKI
First time.
Shizuru stares at her seductively and chuckles.
SHIZURU
There's a first time for everything, I suppose.
Natsuki blushes.
SHIZURU (CONT'D)
You got a name, Miss First Time?
NATSUKI
Natsuki Kuga.
Shizuru grins and nods. She's not surprised to hear the name. Her eyes are on Natsuki’s again, searching.
SHIZURU
Ara. I see the resemblance.
NATSUKI
Pardon?
SHIZURU
I figured someone would come asking around for Kuga, but I never expected it to be her daughter.
NATSUKI
Sometimes ya gotta get your hands dirty.
SHIZURU
So it would seem. I suppose you think I know where she is?
NATSUKI
She was working for you, so you must know somethin'.
Shizuru’s expression becomes cold, as she turns her head to the bar.
SHIZURU
I don't care to be called a criminal, Miss Kuga.
She takes out a compact and starts powdering her face.
--tbc--
White night selenite
2008-04-01, 13:37
Sikon!!!
Your fanfic is just great, I don't know what else could I say.
Finally I know the origin of mysterious Yggdrasil. I especially liked the whole idea with Bifrost and the link that you made to the M.O. Zwei scene of Nina's teleportation.
Thanks a lot, good luck with next chapters!
(I wonder why are Searrs (and anime creators;)) so fascinated with Norse mythology (I saw Yggdrasil in some other anime, too)
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/44sx.jpg
Wind.
It set me free, blew away my problems and grief, and embraced me without knowing who I was or where I came from. The wind didn't care what I wore, what I did, or where I was going. It accepted me without restraint, freed my mind, and calmed me down. I was asked several times why I rode my motorcycle, why I disappeared for days at a time just to drive. The answer wasn't something I could tell, wasn't something I could just say. It had to be felt, had to be witnessed, had to be experienced.
Here, with you against my back, on this open rode laced with the flowing cherry blossoms, I shared it. I couldn't answer you either, couldn't say what I wanted, couldn't find the words. What I felt was the same as the wind. It was all we needed right now, all we had to know. We were free from everything, free from people's thoughts, people's stares, people's words. With the wind I didn't have to worry about them, with the wind I could be honest.
I liked you. Through everything, the pain, the hardships, the good times, and the laughter. I couldn't tell you this because the feelings were more than my words could describe. Like the wind, you were there for me, embraced me, accepted me. My past didn't matter to you- in fact you shared some of it with me. What mattered was simple; we were together, embraced by the rushing sound of air. I couldn't tell you, but I know you could feel it.
You were my wind.
markesellus
2008-04-28, 23:16
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/44sx.jpg
Wind.
It set me free, blew away my problems and grief, and embraced me without knowing who I was or where I came from. The wind didn't care what I wore, what I did, or where I was going. It accepted me without restraint, freed my mind, and calmed me down. I was asked several times why I rode my motorcycle, why I disappeared for days at a time just to drive. The answer wasn't something I could tell, wasn't something I could just say. It had to be felt, had to be witnessed, had to be experienced.
Here, with you against my back, on this open rode laced with the flowing cherry blossoms, I shared it. I couldn't answer you either, couldn't say what I wanted, couldn't find the words. What I felt was the same as the wind. It was all we needed right now, all we had to know. We were free from everything, free from people's thoughts, people's stares, people's words. With the wind I didn't have to worry about them, with the wind I could be honest.
I liked you. Through everything, the pain, the hardships, the good times, and the laughter. I couldn't tell you this because the feelings were more than my words could describe. Like the wind, you were there for me, embraced me, accepted me. My past didn't matter to you- in fact you shared some of it with me. What mattered was simple; we were together, embraced by the rushing sound of air. I couldn't tell you, but I know you could feel it.
You were my wind.
Nice picture. You portrayed Natsuki's feelings very well.
A picture is worth a thousand words:
Dedicated to Mercurian Angel
Shizuru let out a small sigh as she unlocked the door to her apartment. Two test and her club meetings paired with a meeting at night made her have a particularly bad day. Having skipped lunch, her stomach growled angrily, intensified by the scent of food coming from her kitchen. "Ara?" The door closed lightly behind her and a smile came on her face when she saw Natsuki fussing around with pots and pans. "Natsuki let herself in?"
"You gave me a key," The blue haired girl replied easily.
"And...?" Shizuru wrapped her arms around Natsuki's waist and spoke softly into her ear. "You came to cook for me because you felt I was having a bad day?"
"D-don't be stupid." Natsuki tossed her stir-fry noodles. "I felt no such thing." A small blush came on her face as she tried to focus with the fingertip trailing around her bellybutton. "Go change or... or something."
"Okaaaaay," Shizuru exhaled into her friend's ear, making her go stiff and swat at her. "I'll go slip into something more comfortable."
Embarrassed, Natsuki continued to prepare the simple dish, adding sauce and stirring it around. 'She better not come out in something erotic...'
A few minutes passed, slowly making the girl wonder exactly what was being done in the adjoining room of the college student. Finally, as she was almost done, Shizuru came back to her dressed in casual jeans and shirt.
"Jeans?" Natsuki pondered aloud while looking down at the denim tightly hugging the other girl's curves.
"You like tight clothes, don't you?" Shizuru leaned against the counter top, posing. "Always wearing leather...?"
The girl cooking looked down at her skirt, floppy socks and casual light long sleeve. "I wear leather when I ride my bike to keep warm," She informed lightly.
"How about a salad?" The brown haired one walked around Natsuki and started gathering ingredients. "It will be a appetizer for your Pad Thai?"
"Mm," Going back to her hot meal, she started adding in the last touches.
"Carrots?"
"Sure."
"How about some onions?" Shizuru looked over her shoulder and smiled mischievously.
"Stupid..." Turning her back, Natsuki began to plate the food. With a small knowing grin, Shizuru began to cut a carrot to add into the bowl of lettuce next to her. "Um, here." A bottle of mayonnaise was held out at arms length.
"Ma...Mayonaise...?"
"It's a perfectly good salad dressing!" She stammered out while looking away and pouting.
"How much do you want on yours?" Shizuru took it with a light sweat drop. A small squeeze started the flow of white dressing. Words of 'keep on...' came occasionally until the salad was more mayo than anything else. "Natsuki..." Hands were placed on hers and the bottle was squeezed more, almost emptying the rest of the bottle.
"That's good." Taking the bowl, she sat at the table and began to slurp her mayonnaise salad.
Shizuru sat down across from her and began to eat as well, alternating between her crisp garden salad and the Pad Thai dish. "How's school?" Her feet moved under the table to play with her friend's.
"Fine. Yours?" Her eyebrow twitched lightly as a sock clad toe trailed along her shin.
"Busy busy." Another bite was taken and eyes stayed on the image of the female in front of her. "I'm happy you stopped by, Natsuki."
"It is on my way," She evaded easily.
"No it isn't," Shizuru smiled at her when their eyes met and Natsuki shoved more food into her mouth so she wouldn't have to answer. "Still. I'm happy." Her foot retreated from playing and Natsuki suddenly felt a chill on her leg when the trailing warmth left. "I get lonely by myself here."
"No fan club?"
"Not that follow me home, no. There are a few that stay with me all around campus, though." Natsuki's eating slowed down. "Don't worry, I only have eyes for you."
Speeding up again, the girl finished off the food and drank the glass of milk that she didn't even see before. "Well, I'm sure you're busy so I'll-"'
"Stay." The word was spoken differently from the others. A little soft, a little pleading, but still enough to make the other woman stop in her tracks. "We can catch up," She offered happily, smile back on her lips again.
"There's nothing to catch up on," Natsuki stood and took her plates to the kitchen. Shizuru's face fell lightly, making her grin to herself. "But I have nothing better to do."
"Well then," Natsuki almost let out a small scream when Shizuru came behind her so suddenly to speak into her ear. "How about a movie?"
Five minutes later Natsuki found herself on Shizuru's bed, sitting between her legs and laying back. A finger was trailing her bellybutton again, shirt pulled up just enough to allow it. "Is this...really necessary?"
"But it's comfortable," A whisper came into the younger girl's ear. "Isn't it?"
Blushing with a slight frown, Natsuki laid back against the soft body behind her. Brown hair fell around her vision and soon she looked up to see Shizuru's face hovering above hers. "...What is it?"
"I want to kiss you," She stated plainly. "May I?"
Silence answered the question, making the one on top wonder if she had stepped over the line or not. Just when she was about to say something more, a hand went up to thread through the strands falling around their faces. Light pressure pulled her down and their lips met briefly. Pulling apart, both their eyes opened again and Natsuki simply looked back to the movie playing on the TV across from them.
Hands went back around Natsuki's stomach, this time caught so their fingers could thread through each other's. "Time," Natsuki whispered softly.
"I know," Shizuru hugged the girl gently. "I'll wait as long as you need."
Giving hands an encouraging grip, the two got comfortable and watched the rest of the movie together.
I have compiled an overview (http://lucidfox.org/wp/the-expanded-otomeverse) of my little "verse", including brief descriptions of terminology and original characters, in preparation for a new chapter.
Planning on doing a Nanoha/ Otome crossover. Most of it is being discussed on the Nanoha fanfiction thread. I'll post link here when first chapter is done.
I have compiled an overview of my little "verse", including brief descriptions of terminology and original characters, in preparation for a new chapter.
I've enjoyed your series, but it would have been better if you had not fallen into the trap of treating the nanomachines' vulnerability to male DNA as a flaw, like several other authors. It's a security feature! It prevents the Otome's loyalty from being compromised. By either her master or another male. If Garderobe had a way of detecting girl-girl intimacy that was as good as the one for male-female intimacy, they would have implemented it as well.
It's ridiculously weak and convoluted for a security feature, though. It doesn't prevent any sexual activity other than direct fluid transfer, it doesn't prevent an Otome from betraying her master in any way, and it renders the Otome vulnerable to genuinely dangerous mundane situations. I prefer to think of it as a flaw - possibly deliberately introduced as a form of sabotage, I'll play with that idea later. In any case, it's too late to change it to not being a flaw - I don't like pulling a Lucas and editing older stories :).
It doesn't prevent any sexual activity other than direct fluid transfer,
It's not there to prevent, but merely discourage. Biochemically, it's the only one that is detectable, it's also the most intimate one. So they went with it. An Otome can't have another man in her heart, not while giving her life to her master.
it doesn't prevent an Otome from betraying her master in any way,
She couldn't do that without killing herself in any case. And it does prevent her master from abusing her loyalty. Also, it's just my opinion, but I don't think a bodyguard can be 100% effective while she's sleeping with you.
In any case, it's too late to change it to not being a flaw
I know, but I just had to get that off my chest after all this time.
Keep writing!
Now that I think of it, I may make it a chicken and egg situation. How about: it was originally an unintended vulnerability, but its presence shaped the Otome society and culture the way it otherwise wouldn't - complete with the focus on virginity and rampant lesbianism - going as far as making Garderobe taking advantage of it and treating it as an actual security system.
Go ahead. You'd have to think carefully about who introduced it in that case. Or was it just a "natural" flaw?
Because if it was introduced by someone other than Garderobe, the system's already been compromised.
AthenAltena
2008-05-06, 19:42
Alright, time to throw my hat into the ring as far as theories go. Though this one has to do with HiME, not Otome, and Mashiro's Festival/Carnival.
舞-HiME 檻銀 - Mai-HiME Origin Part I (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4240963/1/HiME_Mai_HiME_Origin)
This is the first of four or five (or six?) parts, several of which are in the works.
Wow, several at once? Sweet.
Atlantis_Lux
2008-05-07, 00:37
Go ahead. You'd have to think carefully about who introduced it in that case. Or was it just a "natural" flaw?
Because if it was introduced by someone other than Garderobe, the system's already been compromised.
It's interesting your point. I'm sure too it's a flaw, possibly willingly introduced as a security measure.
I don't think it's natural, because it's very unlikely that someone, who has the technology to create nanomachines that materialize weapons from photons, make them vulnerable to something like that. Unless it has been intentionally.
Also, this doesn't explain how they can safely kiss their masters (see Akane and Kazuya), as the chromosome Y is in their saliva, and a low level of PSA is always present in the blood. :confused:
EDIT: by the way, AthenAltena, I've just read your fanfiction! It's a great concept. And it's good to read something different, once in a while. ;)
Tsubaki23
2008-05-08, 03:18
It's interesting your point. I'm sure too it's a flaw, possibly willingly introduced as a security measure.
I don't think it's natural, because it's very unlikely that someone, who has the technology to create nanomachines that materialize weapons from photons, make them vulnerable to something like that. Unless it has been intentionally.
Also, this doesn't explain how they can safely kiss their masters (see Akane and Kazuya), as the chromosome Y is in their saliva, and a low level of PSA is always present in the blood. :confused:
EDIT: by the way, AthenAltena, I've just read your fanfiction! It's a great concept. And it's good to read something different, once in a while. ;)
Well, I don't think the creators of the show thought anyone would bother thinking about that XD;; But here's a slight theory..
Perhaps it would have to effect uterine cells first?
Actually, it's not the male DNA, but the biochemical signature of semen that is detected. Serin Protease or something like that, was it?
Here's how I think it works: The nanomachines keep the host's body in healthy condition, right? That means they'd have to have some kind of chemical sensor. If the sensor picks up the chemical, the nanomachine is programmed to break down. Not only that, but breakdown in a specific manner. The byproducts trigger the production of a specific antibody. When other nanomachine detect this antibody, they're programmed to break down the same way too. Thus, the nanomachines are purged from the Otome's body.
But the antibodies remain. Any future batch of nanomachines will detect them and break down upon injection too.
In my view, this was deliberately introduced by Garderobe's founders to keep the Otome from being compromised. Yes, it's not 100% perfect, but it doesn't need to be.
It'd be an interesting exercise to come up with something that can detect girl-girl intimacy with the same degree of certainty. Simply detecting foreign DNA isn't enough. Normal chemical sniffers won't do, because the host has the same chemicals in her body too.
Atlantis_Lux
2008-05-08, 16:24
LOL! Yeah, the creators of the show should have considered crazy fanfic writers. ;-)
But then, maybe an explanation existed for this, only they didn't bother to tell us because it was unnecessary for the plot.
Anyway, yours it's the best theory, Jimmy C. ^_^
I'm just unsure of that chromosome Y. I think Natsuki said the nanomachines were vulnerable to that too, but I don't remember exactly her words, maybe it was "chromosome Y AND PSA". Or maybe it was the crappy translation, since I saw it with Italian subs.
AthenAltena
2008-05-08, 17:20
*pokes head in*
Part II! (http://community.livejournal.com/spectemuragendo/9311.html)
(Three is still in the works)
Have you ever considered situation when otome is pregnant and robe is activated?
wanwan1203
2008-05-09, 10:22
Have you ever considered situation when otome is pregnant and robe is activated?
That would be funny.:D But alas, i don't think that's possible. She won't be an Otome anymore by that time. (Although there are some fanfics.....*trails off*) But nevertheless..it would certainly be amusing to see a pic of that. :D
That would be funny.:D But alas, i don't think that's possible. She won't be an Otome anymore by that time. (Although there are some fanfics.....*trails off*) But nevertheless..it would certainly be amusing to see a pic of that. :D
It seems I formulated my argument bad. My bad. I think that nanomachines stop working after sex with male by reason of chance of otome being pregnant => chance to damage child. Because if nanomachines are working and otome is pregnant and uses them then there is great chance of both mother and unborn chil to die or be seriously wounded.
I hope it's clear now.
Hmm, this thread is drifting off topic. Maybe moderators could split the discussion of nanomachines into a separate thread?
Forgot to post here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4245271/1/
"Dream Wing" , A Nanoha/Otome crossover. Mashiro/Arika, Shizuru/Natsuki, and Nanoha/Fate (From Nanoha).
Plasma777
2008-05-13, 03:10
Are there any fics dealing with Tomoe's infantilism fetish?
AthenAltena
2008-05-20, 10:53
Just posted the third part of my thing on FF.net:
舞HiME 檻銀 Mai HiME Origin Part III (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4240963/3/HiME_Mai_HiME_Origin)
WarpObscura
2008-06-16, 11:21
While I wait on mine betas to go through again in preparation for the FF.Net upload, I have posted to LJ your dose of long-unawaited "painful", "no point", "disgrace", "pretentious"... (http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/100485.html)
Guernsey
2008-07-16, 23:55
I have been thinking about starting a Mai Hime or Mai Otome fanfic for sometime but I have a hard time just getting around to it. I have some difficulty with description especially with the elaborate designs of most of the creatures, places, people and robes in this anime (or any anime for that matter). I am practicing by writing in my journal, writing in blogs and other places but I don't really know how to go about writing a fanfic of Mai Hime especially since I have hard time describing people and areas. Can anyone point me to any fanfic that is good with description so that I can get a reference from it.
WarpObscura
2008-08-06, 12:06
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291350/5/Prinz_von_Sommerhoffnung
PvS CH05 is up at last, after taking advice from the betas and making some necessary alterations.
...
I get a bit pissy in the author's notes at the end.
Shinn_Kabuto
2008-11-09, 20:33
I just hope someone will made this:
Since My-HiME is considered the shoujo-anime version of Kamen Rider Ryuki (where there are 13 Riders fighting each other, just like My-HiME) and since Kamen Rider Dragon Knight is a Ryuki adaptation, the title will be...
Mai-HiME Dragon Princess
Instead the HiMEs are fighting against each other, they work together. They are the defenders of Fuuka, a world exists behind mirrors. They are fighting against one foe: the diabolical and wicked warrior-queen Queen Tomoe. But Queen Tomoe beat the HiMEs one by one, took the people of Fuuka as slaves, and she gave the HiME's Advent Decks to evil women on earth as a part of her conquest.
But there is still hope. Natsuki, the remaining HiME and the only woman to stop Tomoe, gives the remaining Advent Deck to Mai Tokiha, a teenage girl who searches for her lost mother and who will became the Dragon HiME. They joined forces after Mai learns that Tomoe has imprisoned her mother in Fuuka and is using her and the other humans that Tomoe's monsters abduct to gain power and rebuild her homeworld... by destroying Earth the same way that she destroyed Fuuka. Mai and Natsuki must work together to defeat Tomoe in order to save the human world, win back Fuuka, and to save Mai's lost mother.
Judamacaby
2009-01-15, 19:05
I read a "different" fanfiction the other day. This is by StarvingLunatic and it's an Otome fanfiction.
"Dents in Her Armor" (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4064726/1/Dents_in_Her_Armor)
I enjoyed it. There's also a sequel that is currently being updated. Her updates are frequent, so it's good to keep up with. I like it, but it may not match others' tastes.
KongZilla
2009-03-04, 10:58
I'm new here ^_^
I have alot of ideas for writing fanfictions but when it comes down to writing the actual thing... I don't even know how to start... ^_^"
WarpObscura
2009-03-10, 12:10
Prinz von Sommerhoffnung Chapter Six beta-in-progress available at the LJ Community. Parts One (http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/107340.html) and Two (http://community.livejournal.com/maihime/107546.html) as linked, split because of length.
Plasma777
2009-03-10, 12:15
Are there any fics dealing with Tomoe's infantilism fetish?
I guess not, huh? :(
White night selenite
2009-07-03, 09:52
Hi guys,
I doubt I will ever watch another Mai-series, so I've decided to write one on my own. (Set in Otome-verse)
It's two stories in one pack :D In the first of them, you can find Fumi and Miyu (from known characters), Fumi's master and some Searrs family members.
The second one is about two young Otome and the Five Columns of Garderobe set about a hundred years after the first story.
I hope you'll like it and if so, please let me know. I need someone other's opinion on if it's worth reading ;)
So, enjoy:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5184626/1/Black_White
Hi guys,
I doubt I will ever watch another Mai-series, so I've decided to write one on my own. (Set in Otome-verse)
It's two stories in one pack :D In the first of them, you can find Fumi and Miyu (from known characters), Fumi's master and some Searrs family members.
The second one is about two young Otome and the Five Columns of Garderobe set about a hundred years after the first story.
I hope you'll like it and if so, please let me know. I need someone other's opinion on if it's worth reading ;)
So, enjoy:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5184626/1/Black_White
Well already I've made an fanfic for FireStarter: Mai Tokiha Chronicles and later tonight I'll be starting and my own Mai HiME sequel and no it won't be focusing on an crossover and a link to Mai Otome. This one will be saga of HiME and their great battles ahead to become a revolution.
KongZilla
2009-07-11, 20:03
I had this random idea that popped up in my head, and it could be turned into a fanfiction!
I discussed it with MightySpirit and she likes the idea alot! XD
Rika23onROOF
2009-10-19, 04:18
I-i have an idea of a new Mai-Hime fic.
W-what do you guys think of a cross-over between Mai-Hime Anime version and Mai-Hime Manga version? But this is a ShizNat fic. So what will happen when Natsuki from Anime ver. wake up one morning to see someone like her glue to Tate?
...
kitten320
2009-10-26, 22:05
I-i have an idea of a new Mai-Hime fic.
W-what do you guys think of a cross-over between Mai-Hime Anime version and Mai-Hime Manga version? But this is a ShizNat fic. So what will happen when Natsuki from Anime ver. wake up one morning to see someone like her glue to Tate?
...
The anime version Natsuki will puke and have nightmares for the rest of her life :heh:
KongZilla
2009-10-26, 22:38
I-i have an idea of a new Mai-Hime fic.
W-what do you guys think of a cross-over between Mai-Hime Anime version and Mai-Hime Manga version? But this is a ShizNat fic. So what will happen when Natsuki from Anime ver. wake up one morning to see someone like her glue to Tate?
...
A weird idea came to me when I imagined Kazuya groping Mai and Akane got jealous! :heh:
Rika23onROOF
2009-11-05, 11:58
I'll post my fic bits by bits. Its called "When Two Worlds Collide".
Enjoy (^/////^)
Natsuki Kuga woke up with a start. She didn’t know why but for some reason, she felt dizzy and her body aches. She tried to move her hand but the pain told her otherwise. Her vision was still blurry due to the head pain. She knew she wasn’t injured, but the feeling was for real. Giving up her attempt to move, she gave a few minutes of rest. Trying to gather up her memories, she remember she was on a date with Shizuru, then go back to the dorm late at night, making sure not to wake Mai and Mikoto up. Taking a quick shower and put on her pajamas and finally sleep on the comfortable bed. Was she sleep walking? Shaking her head, she realized that she could move her body without feeling the pain. The rustling sound of leaves beneath her made her confused. She looked around her and realized something was horribly wrong. She was in a forest and wearing her school clothes instead of her blue pajamas.
“W-What…where am I?”
Tempest35
2009-11-07, 17:32
I just hope someone will made this:
Since My-HiME is considered the shoujo-anime version of Kamen Rider Ryuki (where there are 13 Riders fighting each other, just like My-HiME) and since Kamen Rider Dragon Knight is a Ryuki adaptation, the title will be...
Mai-HiME Dragon Princess
Instead the HiMEs are fighting against each other, they work together. They are the defenders of Fuuka, a world exists behind mirrors. They are fighting against one foe: the diabolical and wicked warrior-queen Queen Tomoe. But Queen Tomoe beat the HiMEs one by one, took the people of Fuuka as slaves, and she gave the HiME's Advent Decks to evil women on earth as a part of her conquest.
But there is still hope. Natsuki, the remaining HiME and the only woman to stop Tomoe, gives the remaining Advent Deck to Mai Tokiha, a teenage girl who searches for her lost mother and who will became the Dragon HiME. They joined forces after Mai learns that Tomoe has imprisoned her mother in Fuuka and is using her and the other humans that Tomoe's monsters abduct to gain power and rebuild her homeworld... by destroying Earth the same way that she destroyed Fuuka. Mai and Natsuki must work together to defeat Tomoe in order to save the human world, win back Fuuka, and to save Mai's lost mother.
I actually like this idea...lots of potential. Give me a few weeks and I can crank out a prologue or something...
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