What a Bleach Character would never say!

[dizzy721]

Zangetsu : my cloth is so weird, I should change to leather cloth!!

Ichigo : Hey, name's really mean strawberry

[PieLoverItachi]

First ep:

"*****, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!?"
- ichigo

[mugenTaichou]

Orhime: Kurosaki-kun...
Ichigo: I know my goddamn name! Seriously, is your vocabulary that limited?

http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=28444&page=153


Hehe, there ya go...

[PieLoverItachi]

Ichigo:
"NO, i am not coming to save you! You're too frigging weak to bother. I AM GOING TO SIT HERE AND BE ANGSTY."

[PieLoverItachi]

http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=28444&page=153


Hehe, there ya go...

DUuuuuude. AWESOME XD

[LeminLyme]

Ichigo: "I lose." -_- :P
-----------------------------------------
Rukia: "DO A BARREL ROLL!"
-----------------------------------------
Ichigo: (To Renji) "Do you talk to your monkey?"
Renji: "<_< Yes."
Ichigo: "Does it talk back?"
Renji: ". . . -_-' "

[HiroInazuma]

Renji: Freeze b****! SSPD! Soul Society Police Department!

[Kuroda]

Spin off of Lymes.

Ichigo: To (renji) " is it me or, do you let your monkey get spanked alot?"
Renji: "Whats that suposed to mean?"
Ichigo: "oh nothing..."

[tbl]

After spending some time in Soul Society
Ichigo: Oh... so this is what the afterlife is like, which means that all the world's religions were completely wrong. This is an interesting and intriguing development and at the very least I should find this a bit curious. I really should take note of this.
Ishida: Kurosaki, this is a shonen manga and we've had three panels without some sought of a fight.
Ichigo: Sorry, I forgot.

During the Ichigo v. Byakuya
Byakuya: This is ridiculous! How the hell can you fight me equally!? You are fifteen and I'm apparently centuries old and have presumably spent most of that time training. How does make sense? And what sought of a message is that sending to children? That years and years of hard work is nothing compared to a few training scenes?
Ichigo: ... because I'm the main character in a shonen series I guess?
Tite Kubo: And Byakuya, don't break character.
Byakuya: FU Kubo... I. QUIT. Any seinen manga looking for a stoic, aloof big brother, bishonen character?
Gantz
Byakuya: [Crying] F@#$! He's head just blew up. So much blood, is that - my god - it's his intestines!? Please don't kill me disgusting monster alien thing~ I miss Bleach.

[Kyero Fox]

Ichigo: "I love you"

nough said..... don't like it? Tough, its the truth... he'll never say that.

[SuperSaber]

Rukia: Why cant i get this?!
Ichigo: Whats so hard about putting a straw in juice box?
Rukia: Its harder then it looks.
Ichigo: *Sticks straw in juice box* Ooooh....hard....
Rukia: ...........**** YOU!

[HiroInazuma]

Ichigo: BANKAI!!!!! TENSA ZANGET- DAMMIT ZANGETSU YOUR CLOTHES MAKE ME ITCH IN THE WRONG PLACES!

-What Hichigo and Zangetsu do in Ichigo's mind-

Zangetsu: Got any 5's?
Hichigo: .....F*** you!

[PhantomRay]

Ririn: I tawt I taw a puddy tat !
Kon: O.o ?!?
Ririn: I did ! I did see a puddy tat !
Kon: ...
Kon: >.>
Kon: <.<
Kon: ...
Kon: Suffering succotash !

Not telling who they are this time ! ;)

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Rukia : Arent my boob is big?

Aizen: Orihime marry with me! please!

[Liwyn]

ichigo: I need healing...
Yoruichi: Sorry, feral specced

loooooooooooooool

[HiroInazuma]

Urahara: my milk brings all the kitties to ma yard!

[tbl]

Urahara: my milk brings all the kitties to ma yard!
Yoruichi: No, just the one.

[mugenTaichou]

Ririn: I tawt I taw a puddy tat !
Kon: O.o ?!?
Ririn: I did ! I did see a puddy tat !
Kon: ...
Kon: >.>
Kon: <.<
Kon: ...
Kon: Suffering succotash !

Not telling who they are this time ! ;)

Oh lawd... Tweety & Slyvester xD xD

Ownage.

[Azley]

Gin: Damn - I can actually see something when I open my eyes! *fascinated*
Tousen: ... ... ...

[BleachOD]

Tousen: Aizen-Sama?
Aizen: Kaname?
Tousen: ...After the Winter War...Can we do Karaoke? Stevie Wonder is my idol! I have been told I look him. So I got the Women's Association to braid my hair. So can we? Can we? I want to play my harmonica...
Aizen: Harmonica...At Karaoke?.
Tousen... Yeah... Aizen-sama?!!? Do they have "Ribbon in the sky" in Braille?!?
Aizen:... ... ...

[PhantomRay]

Kenpachi: There is no spoon... There is no spoon... There is no spoon !!!
Yachiru: Free your mind ! Then you'll see ! Then you'll Bankai !

[HiroInazuma]

Yachiru: If this mother f*cker does not get up out of ma grill I'm bout to pop a cap in his head!

[Kyero Fox]

Tatsuki: Orhime I love you
Or vise versa XP

[BleachOD]

Tatsuki: Orhime I WANNA DO YOU! XP

*wink*...:heh:


:uhoh:

[tbl]

Orihime: "Destroy. Destroy. Destroy. Slowly, completely, gently beyond comparison, cruelly to the point of numbness, I'll violate your life. That's right. The instant I tear off your limbs, rip open your chest and pull out your intestines, biting into your neck as you ask for mercy, chewing through your eyes and spreading your brains on the ground like butter!"

Rukia: Ichigo why did someone ask me why did the chicken cross the road?
Ichigo explains 'why did the chicken cross the road jokes'
- Some time later -
Rukia: Why did the baby cross the road?
Ichigo: Why?
Rukia: Because it was stapled to the chicken.
Ichigo: :twitch:

[WONDERMIKE]

Ulquiorra: So, Kurosaki Ichigo, what makes you think you represent a threat to me?
What makes you believe you can even slightly harm me this time?
Ichigo: eto... I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want to! *grizzling like a child*
Ulqiorra: *speechless*

[tbl]

Aizen: I'm thinking of changing my name to Superman. No wait... Captain Superman.

[BleachOD]

Gin: *Frown* This is my unhappy face...

[tbl]

Ichigo: Mr. Ishida would mind telling the court in your own words what happened on October, the sixth.
Ishida: [Starts crying] I did it! I did it Ichigo! I'm sorry man. I did it - it was an accident! I didn't mean it. I... dropped the screw... in the tuna! I dropped the screw in the tuna! It was me. Oh the humanity. I dropped the screw in the tuna! I didn't mean it, please don't take me to jail. I dropped the screw in the tuna! We're still boys right? We're still boys right? I love you man. I dropped the screw in the tuna!

[MidnightViper88]

Imagine an alternative dialogue exchange between Ichigo and Byakuya in episode 58, in a more adult tone...

Ichigo: I'll show you my bankai if you show me yours
Byakuya: *Shows bankai*
Ichigo: Now I get to show you my bankai! *Shows bankai*
Byakuya: *Looks bewildered* It's so small! With a bankai like that, you're not even sponge-worthy.

[HiroInazuma]

Yachiru: *cuts down Byakuya's cherry blossom tree to make a tree house* Bya-chan look at my tree house!
Byakuya: Yachiru you have gone too far! BANKAI!!!!

[BleachAddict]

Byakuya: FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY EYEBROWS, funky eyebrows!
Renji: well, your clips are FUGLIER, fuglier. *pouts*

[BleachOD]

Aizen:"Once you are trapped in Kyouka Sougetsu's "Complete Hypnosis". There is no escape!
Wooh hoo! Woo hoo!
I will be the will be standing in the heavens,because I am... *Exaggerated Pose"
I am... the only one who is stylish enough to do it. Black and White never looks better

*Gyrating cheeks*
Ichigo-kun you should forget Rukia-chan....You can even sit on my throne.

*Wink Wink"

Ichigo: F-ck that! That IS NOT in my Contract! I am soooooo outta here...

[HiroInazuma]

Aizen: Oh sh*t! It's the Captains and VCs...there is only one way to get out of this...Tousen assume the position!
Tousen: *kneels down*
Yama-ji: OMG! I CAN'T UNSEE IT!!!!! Take TEH KINGS KEY JUST STOP!

[tbl]

How Tousen Went Blind
Gin: Dude you've got to try this. This is some serious s***.
Tousen: Ooooh... wait! What happened to my eyesight!? I can't see!
Aizen: Now remember kids, stay in school and stay off drugs.

[Astrithor]

Hinamori: This is the best day of my life!! Weeee, life is beautifull!

This may ALSO apply to Ulquiorra. Just throwing that out there, lmao.

Kisuke Urahara: Im...too sexy for my hat...

lolzorz:heh:

[Astrithor]

That gif tempts me so very deeply to use it as an Avatar.

I totally f'kin agree!!! Xl so hard not to do...lol

[BleachOD]

Ichigo: "Innocence Activate"

[Casshern]

Hitsugaya: Gin! It's you!
Gin: Hey, Toushi-chan, how is Momo-chan lately? Still alive?
Aizen: Oh? I didn't know you were familiar with my little Momo?
Gin: Heh, we had a little run in...
Hitsugaya: *grinding teeth* You bas... *interupted*
Aizen: Ah, good ol' submissive little Momo... she was a beast in the sack you know :naughty:
Gin: *big smile*
Hitsugaya: *grinding teeth* Uhnnnn! Temera! I'll... *interupted*
Aizen: Btw Gin, didn't you have something going on with Matsumoto-san?
Gin: Yeah, I showed her my shinsou a few times... *big smile*
Aizen: Oh? :naughty:
Hitsugaya: RANGIKU AND MOMO ARE MY FRIEEEENDS! :frustrated:
Aizen & Gin: :nono: All your bitch are belong to us! :cool:

[starshine]

ichigo: Right stuff it i have had enough of this hero complex
everyone face impending danger by themselves!!
dont call me until kubo devotes another spread with me underaged drinking again

[BleachOD]

Chapter 0D-15 "The chapter that doesn't really exist"
Ikkaku and Rukia face-off!

Ikkaku: "Bankai! Ryuumon Houzimaru!"
Rukia:" Bankai...?..

Ikkaku: "Did I stutter...Blah Blah Blah"
Rukia: "Hold it!! *Steps out of character* What the hell is this KT?! You know I get a lot of shit and called a man because you forgot to give me sweater meat!!!:frustrated: Now I have to prove myself because people keep saying "Kojack" is stronger all because I am a woman
Ikkaku:" It looks like you finally realize it..."
Rukia:" *Turns...and frowns in disgust* Are you serious about this chapter?:upset:
Ikkaku:"...He's a lazy bum. I gotta force him awake to use his full power..."
Rukia: "http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/ichigowife/gifs/sigh.gifTsugi no mai..."HAKUREN! "
Ikkaku:"...http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/ichigowife/gifs/em050.gif"
Rukia:"...http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/ichigowife/gifs/em067.gif " *Walks out*

[Casshern]

Rukia:" Bankai...?

Ikkaku: "Did I stutter?"
ROFL :heh:

[the mage]

Ishida: Yes Nemu, dear. I'm think we absolutely should invite your father to our wedding.

(then again if he is stupid/ insane enough to try and marry Nemu right under Mayuri's nose maybe he would end up saying that LOL)

[HiroInazuma]

Ichigo: Oh no! He is getting away there is no way to stop him!
Rukia: He is right there! We could just grab-
Ichigo: I said there is no way to stop him
Rukia: But...
Ichigo: Does Ichigo have to smack a b*tch?

[Lelouch*Vi*Britannia]

This of course....

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff43/Itachi6212/Error_Message3.png

[water_Knight]

Chapter 0D-15 "The chapter that doesn't really exist"
Ikkaku and Rukia face-off!

Ikkaku: "Bankai! Ryuumon Houzimaru!"
Rukia:" Bankai...?..

Ikkaku: "Did I stutter...Blah Blah Blah"
Rukia: "Hold it!! *Steps out of character* What the hell is this KT?! You know I get a lot of shit and called a man because you forgot to give me sweater meat!!!:frustrated: Now I have to prove myself because people keep saying "Kojack" is stronger all because I am a woman
Ikkaku:" It looks like you finally realize it..."
Rukia:" *Turns...and frowns in disgust* Are you serious about this chapter?:upset:
Ikkaku:"...He's a lazy bum. I gotta force him awake to use his full power..."
Rukia: "http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/ichigowife/gifs/sigh.gifTsugi no mai..."HAKUREN! "
Ikkaku:"...http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/ichigowife/gifs/em050.gif"
Rukia:"...http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/ichigowife/gifs/em067.gif " *Walks out*


isn't there a chapter liek this but with a um arancar ?? but he wins not the arancar??

[BleachOD]

Ichigo: Gomu Gomu Gomu...

[HiroInazuma]

Ichigo: The reason why I fight....it's simple....if there is evil in the world...I will fight it...if anyone tries to disturb the peace...I will cut them down....for I am...Shinigami Man Saviour of Karakura town!
Hichigo: You're retarded aren't you?

[the mage]

Kenpachi: OMG, Yachiru you were right; it is this way!

Tousen: I see... (sorry I just needed to add my own Tousen-is-blind one :p

[HiroInazuma]

Zaraki: WAR! HUGH! YEAH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?! FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! SING IT AGAIN!

[BleachOD]

Ichigo: The reason why I fight....it's simple....if there is evil in the world...I will fight it...if anyone tries to disturb the peace...I will cut them down....for I am...Shinigami Man Saviour of Karakura town!
Hichigo: You're retarded aren't you?

THAT DESERVES COOKIE!:heh::heh::heh:

[mugenTaichou]

Zaraki (to Yachiru): You're my hunny bun, sugar plum, pumpy upmy upmy upmkin.
You're my sweetie pie.

You're my cuppy cake,gumdrop,shyummkums pure,
The apple of my eye!

And I love you so, and I want you to know that i'll always be right here.

And I love to sing this song to you
Because you are so dear!

[HiroInazuma]

Zaraki: #MACHO MACHO MACHO MAN! I WANNA BE A MACHOMAN!#

Yama-ji: *goes to random young men with some spiritual strength* YOUNG MAN! There's a place you can go! I say young man just come to Soul Society, I say SO-UL SO-CI-ETY, they have everything you can ever enjoy!

[water_Knight]

Zaraki (to Yachiru): You're my hunny bun, sugar plum, pumpy upmy upmy upmkin.
You're my sweetie pie.

You're my cuppy cake,gumdrop,shyummkums pure,
The apple of my eye!

And I love you so, and I want you to know that i'll always be right here.

And I love to sing this song to you
Because you are so dear!


what song is this quated from??

[Cub-Sama]

Ichigo: School?! You're asking why I am absent from school when I am out busting my hump everyday saving your butt from Hollows! Asking why I am absent from school so many times....I should send you to Soul Society right now!
Teacher: Hollows? Soul Society? Get your butt to the principles office you ditcher

[YouMightHaveAIDS]

Chad: I won a fight....

[Cub-Sama]

Ichigo: Urm...Urahara-san my bankai won't come out....Zangetsu said he is still angry about that joke about capes

[mugenTaichou]

what song is this quated from??

Strawberry Shortcake :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axUgeMGP8To

[BleachOD]

Chad: I won a fight....

:heh: That's epic. + rep

[Cub-Sama]

Ishida: Black is the new white

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Uryuu : Mayuri married with me!
Mayuri : Why The hell i should do that?!

[Langus]

Zaraki: WAR! HUGH! YEAH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?! FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! SING IT AGAIN!

HAHAHAHAHA! That's awesome. :heh: Definitely getting some rep if the cookie nazi's aren't still on my ass.

Some contributions:

Orihime: I think I need a breast reduction...
Matsumoto: Yeah... Me too... They're just TOO BIG *sigh*

---

Ishida: I like girls.

---


Byakuya: F*ck this noble shit. Get me a goddamn cheeseburger!

[Cub-Sama]

Renji: Byakuya I'm not your b*tch

[Kuroda]

Kenpachi: *gets slashed by ichigo's sword* OWWWWIE THAT HURT! *hides and cries in a corner*

[Liwyn]

HAHAHAHAHA! That's awesome. :heh: Definitely getting some rep if the cookie nazi's aren't still on my ass.

Some contributions:

Byakuya: F*ck this noble shit. Get me a goddamn cheeseburger!

LOL! :heh::heh:

[Cub-Sama]

Ken: *flicking through notes* A F*CK A PAPER CUT! THAT F*CKIN STINGS!
Ichigo: I just cut you like 30 times in bankai form with my hollow mask on and the paper cut is what hurts?! Crazy b*tch...

[tbl]

Byakuya: BANKAI - Cherry Blossom Petals of Death.
Ichigo: :rolleyes:
Byakuya: What?

[Spectacular_Insanity]

*Rukia & company in Seireitei during Soul Society arc*

Rukia: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Yamamoto: But you are dressed as one.
Rukia: They dressed me up like this!
Crowd: No we didn't!
Rukia: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
Yamamoto: *lifts up false nose* Well...?
Ichimaru: Well, we did do the nose.
Yamamoto: The nose?
Ichimaru: ...and the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her!
Yamamoto: Did you dress her up like this?
Ichimaru: No!
Aizen: No!
Tousen, Aizen: No!
Tousen: No!
Ichimaru: No!
Tousen, Aizen: No!
Ichimaru: Yes.
Aizen: Yes.
Ichimaru: Yeah a bit.
Tousen: A bit.
Ichimaru, Aizen: A bit!
Aizen: A bit.
Ichimaru: But she has got a wart!
Random Shinigami in Crowd: *cough, cough*

[Mr. DJ]

Matsumoto: My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, damn right, they're better than yours!

[Cub-Sama]

Ukitake: Truth is all those times I claim I'm sick....I'm actually playing poker with the vizard and all those medical sessions with Unohana....I sleep with her....
Yamamoto: Unohana is this true?
Unohana: What can I say? He has a big sword
Yamamoto: O.- Ew....

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Matsumoto: My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, damn right, they're better than yours!

;1935490']http://cs301.vkontakte.ru/u410743/35379958/x_38bcbe62.jpg

Yamamoto: I could teach you, but I'd have to charge...

[tbl]

When Rukia is on the execution stand about to die
Rukia: Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad, other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle. And this'll help things turn out for the best...
♫♪ And... always look on the bright side of life... ♫♪
♫♪ Always look on the light side of life... ♫♪

[the mage]

Kenpachi: Eww, blood!

Toshiro: Yeah, i;m straight (no one could have a vice captain like Rangiku and act the way he does :heh:)

Gin: Don't take too many anti depressents

Ikakku: I see you got some hairs in your sink there. For God's sake, man; don't comb so hard.

[mugenTaichou]

Ikakku: I see you got some hairs in your sink there. For God's sake, man; don't comb so hard.

I know now why is he bald xD

[Cub-Sama]

Hitsu: The reason I act the way I do to Rangiku's boobs is because...I'm gay...

[lv23]

Byakuya: You're right. I am not quite at your level yet.
Hitsugaya: I want to take a vacation.
Ichigo: Sacrifices are necessary if it means I can get the hell out of Hueco Mundo.

[BleachOD]

Kira: Here we are were the princes of the universe...I am immortal I have inside me bood of kings. I have no rival. No man can be my equal...

Hisagi: *Snickers then whispers* Who's gonna tell him Wasbisuke sucks...
Renji...Well there can be only one.

[Mr. DJ]

Yamamoto: I could teach you, but I'd have to charge...

omg......lol

[Liwyn]

Kira: Here we are were the princes of the universe...I am immortal I have inside me bood of kings. I have no rival. No man can be my equal...

Hisagi: *Snickers then whispers* Who's gonna tell him Wasbisuke sucks...
Renji...Well there can be only one.


Aw that's mean, I like Wabisuke :(

[BleachOD]

Aw that's mean, I like Wabisuke :(

Seriously that's a first? :uhoh::heh:

Rukia: Ichigo?
Ichigo...it's not Ichigo it's Katsura.

[Liwyn]

Seriously that's a first? :uhoh::heh:

Rukia: Ichigo?
Ichigo...it's not Ichigo it's Katsura.

Yeah, I think it's pretty good! He hasn't lost yet, has he? And he did own that filler-guy! Compared to Renji who just majorly fails in almost every single battle... Wabisuke ain't that bad :heh:

[Kakashi]

Ichigo: Why do you always have your hands in your pockets!?
Ulquiorra: To control my urges.
Ichigo: Huh!
Ulquiorra: lol j/k draw.
Ichigo: What?
Ulquiorra: As in take out your gun.
Ichigo: I only have a sword.
Ulquiorra: In Mexico we use guns.
Ichigo: But this is Hueco Mundo!
Ulquiorra: What's the difference?

[Casshern]

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[Cub-Sama]

Ichigo: *garganta takes him to a Hueco Mundo Taco Bell* ULQUIORRA IS THAT YOU?!
Ulquiorra: Ichigo? What are you doing here?!
Ichigo: Looking for Orihime, you seen her?
Ulquiorra: Sorry, Aizen said I can't tell you anything unless you place an order
Ichigo: Fine I'll have a large taco
Ulquiorra: Would you like a drink with that?
Ichigo: Yes
Ulquiorra: What drink?
Ichigo: Can we just fight and get this over with?
Ulquiorra: YES! GOD YES!!

[Langus]

Urahara Kisuke:

Urahara Shop Grand Sale!

Now on Special Offer! Rose Tinted Glasses®!

Because it won't let me rep you, I've just gotta post and say that that was made of PURE WIN! :heh: Way to show 'em how it's done :D

[tbl]

Byakuya: BANKAI Senbonzakura Kageyoshi
Ichigo: Ooh... pretty.

Byakuya: BANKAI Senbonzakura Kageyoshi
Ichigo: You call that a Bankai? Now this is a Bankai...
Byakuya: That's not a Bankai, that's a spoon.
Ichigo: Oh, I see you've played Bankai-spooney before.

[jelome1989]

Mayuri: Nemu you're so awesome my daughter

Kon: I hate boobies. YUCK!

Ulquiorra: *smiles*

Wonderweiss: A chemical reaction is a process that always results in the interconversion of chemical substances. The substance or substances initially involved in a chemical reaction are called reactants.

Tousen: Ahhh what a beautiful day. So sunny...

[Cub-Sama]

Wonderweiss: Your so cuddly I love you! ahh.....

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Ichigo : I am a Ghostbuster and NOT A Shinigami

[tbl]

Ichigo : I am a Ghostbuster and NOT A Shinigami
Ishida: Damn straight.... ♫♪ If there's something strange in the neighbour hood, who ya gonna calll? ♫♪
Orihime: Ghostbusters!

[Cub-Sama]

Grimm: I'm a kitty kat! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! I'M A KITTTTTTYYY KAT!

[MidnightViper88]

Ichigo: (After the end of episode 189) Whoa, that was a really bad dream I just had!
Orihime: No, it wasn't a dream!
Ichigo: Than what happened?!
Grimmjow: I spiked you before we had our little fight, hoping it would give me the advantage, but it didn't work out...
Nnoritra: Now it's my turn to fight Ichigo!
Ichigo: Wait, this is a nightmare too, right?!

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

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OMG! This is the funniest post in this thread ever! :heh:
+ rep

[Mr. DJ]

Ichigo: *garganta takes him to a Hueco Mundo Taco Bell* ULQUIORRA IS THAT YOU?!
Ulquiorra: Ichigo? What are you doing here?!
Ichigo: Looking for Orihime, you seen her?
Ulquiorra: Sorry, Aizen said I can't tell you anything unless you place an order
Ichigo: Fine I'll have a large taco
Ulquiorra: Would you like a drink with that?
Ichigo: Yes
Ulquiorra: What drink?
Ichigo: Can we just fight and get this over with?
Ulquiorra: YES! GOD YES!!

what makes this even more funny to me...my friends couldn't pronounce Hueco Mundo...after like a couple minutes I told them "you know what? they went to Taco Bell."

[tbl]

Marechiyo Ōmaeda: Does this Shinigami uniform make me look fat?
Soi Fon: No it doesn't. The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That uniform just makes you look black.

Ichigo: BANKAI! Dramatic Look Gopher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40)
GJ: Ughh! Bastard, you got me.

Byakuya's after being defeated in a fight: Tell Rukia I... I said hi.

What Yoruichi does on her day off (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWwBdY1Yglg&eurl=http://www.dramaticprairiedog.com/)

[Cub-Sama]

Omaeda: You guys will take me seriously after you see my bankai....I'll have it supersized (release command) Gegetsuburi...BANKAI!
-smoke clears-
Soi Fon: Is that a chicken MacSandwhich with spikes sticking out
Omaeda: Nooo....it's a big mac...

[tbl]

Ishida: LEAVE HER ALONE! You're lucky she even performed for you, bastards! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! She's a human being. Please... *sob*

Tousen: ♫♪ Chocolate Rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate Rain [I move away from the mic to breathe in] ♫♪

Aizen: Now for my master plan to come to fruition. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it!

Omaeda: You guys will take me seriously after you see my bankai....I'll have it supersized (release command) Gegetsuburi...BANKAI!
-smoke clears-
Soi Fon: Is that a chicken MacSandwhich with spikes sticking outOmaeda: Exactly. Awesome, huh?

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Omaeda: From now on I am only eating Weight Watchers and Subway!

[Cub-Sama]

Omaeda: I am going on a diet I swear it!
SoiFon: What does your diet consist of?
Omaeda: 5 big macs and 5 portions of large chips
SoiFon: Wow you are cutting back, big time....

Omaeda: CRUSH GEGETSUB-*heart attack* I can't feel my left side....*drops*
SoiFon: Remember kids if you don't exercise and eat well then that could happen to...YOU...Public Service Annoucements...The more you know

[tbl]

Ichimaru: It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Aizen: Gin, who are you talking to?
Ichimaru: No one.

Breakfast at the Kurosakis
[Toast pops out of the toaster]
Ichigo: Ah, Hollow! Getsuga Tenshō!!!
Rukia: Um Ichigo, isn't that just toast?
Ichigo: This time it was toast, Rukia. This time...

The next morning
[Isshin walks into the room]
Isshin: Good morning.
Rukia: Um Ichigo, what is your father wearing?
Ichigo: Dammit Dad, not again. How many times do I have to say it. You are just a normal doctor... you are not Dr. McNinja

[Captain Yoruichi]

Yamamoto and Ichigo having a conversation.

Ichigo: So, you're pretty old, huh?
Yamamoto: ...
Ichigo: Doesn't it get boring? I mean, sleep, eat, fight, wash rinse repeat? What else is there to do in Soul Society?
Yamamoto: ...
Ichigo: Wait, do you even fight?
Yamamoto: ...
Ichigo (scoots closer and looks about furtively): Ok, now for the real question: What do you do about women? I mean, you have to want to ...do things...every once in a while, right?
Yamamoto: Kurotsuchi made me a doll.
Ichigo: O_O

[tbl]

Yoruichi: So Ichigo, I'm going to teach you how to get a Bankai.
Ichigo: Silly kittie, Bankais are for kids. I have this instead.
Yoruichi: What's that?
Ichigo: It's an IMI large caliber gas-operated semi-automatic Mark VII Dessert Eagle .44 Magnum.
Yoruichi: :twitch:

[Cub-Sama]

Yuzu: My life is actually important in Bleach

[mugenTaichou]

Yoruichi: So Ichigo, I'm going to teach you how to get a Bankai.
Ichigo: Silly kittie, Bankais are for kids. I have this instead.
Yoruichi: What's that?
Ichigo: It's an IMI large caliber gas-operated semi-automatic Mark VII Dessert Eagle .44 Magnum.
Yoruichi: :twitch:

Ichigo: This is the Magnum .44, the most powerful gun in the world. Do you feel lucky, shinigami?
Byakuya: O_o

[tbl]

Ichigo: This is the Magnum .44, the most powerful gun in the world. Do you feel lucky, shinigami?
Byakuya: O_o
The .44 Magnum isn't a gun. Just saying :p

[Lelouch*Vi*Britannia]

*Rukia & company in Seireitei during Soul Society arc*

Rukia: I'm not a witch I'm not a witch!
Yamamoto: But you are dressed as one.
Rukia: They dressed me up like this!
Crowd: No we didn't!
Rukia: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
Yamamoto: *lifts up false nose* Well...?
Ichimaru: Well, we did do the nose.
Yamamoto: The nose?
Ichimaru: ...and the hat, but she is a witch!
Crowd: Yeah! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her!
Yamamoto: Did you dress her up like this?
Ichimaru: No!
Aizen: No!
Tousen, Aizen: No!
Tousen: No!
Ichimaru: No!
Tousen, Aizen: No!
Ichimaru: Yes.
Aizen: Yes.
Ichimaru: Yeah a bit.
Tousen: A bit.
Ichimaru, Aizen: A bit!
Aizen: A bit.
Ichimaru: But she has got a wart!
Random Shinigami in Crowd: *cough, cough*

lol, you got that from the monty python quest for the holy grail xD

[Cub-Sama]

Ulquiorra: Ichigo you must be wondering did I fire 5 balas or 10...
Ichigo: How many did you fire?
Ulquiorra: 3

[Scarlett_Rain55]

Tatsuki: Orihime wear this outfit, you'll look so sexy!
Orihime: but i can't possibly...
Rukia: Yeah, dont force her to wear such a scandalous, demoralizing, trashy outfit to win ichigo's heart. That's a cheap tactic!
Orihime: she's right!
Tatsuki: bBut ichigo will start to notice you more Orihime, isn't that what you want? Besides whenever you put this bra on you jiggle like jelly. Ichigo loves that!...Don't you want to impress him?
Orihime: Yes, but well not like that!
Ichigo: Actually Orihime, if you want to get my attention. You have to wear nothing.

[tbl]

Kon: Oh, so that cat Yoruichi was actually a woman. I should've known. She didn't like me. Girls... never... like me.
Ichigo: Kon, I don't think anyone likes you.
Kon: I like me :(

Tatsuki: Orihime wear this outfit, you'll look so sexy!
Orihime: but i can't possibly...
Rukia: Yeah, dont force her to wear such a scandalous, demoralizing, trashy outfit to win ichigo's heart. That's a cheap tactic!
Orihime: she's right!
Tatsuki: bBut ichigo will start to notice you more Orihime, isn't that what you want? Besides whenever you put this bra on you jiggle like jelly. Ichigo loves that!...Don't you want to impress him?
Orihime: Yes, but well not like that!
Ichigo: Actually Orihime, if you want to get my attention. You have to wear nothing.

Ichigo: Actually Orihime, if you want to get my attention. You have to wear nothing. Or get captured by Aizen. Either way.

[Mr. DJ]

Chizuru - I like men

Omaeda - salad please, w/ lowfat dressing

Unohana - let him die

Mayuri - pfft science, magic is where it's at

[mugenTaichou]

The .44 Magnum isn't a gun. Just saying :p

no prob, it's a quote from resident evil 2 game xD

[HayashiTakara]

Ichigo: (in a McDonalds uniform) Would you like fries with that?

[Cub-Sama]

Yama-jii: Eww! I never knew that's where babies come from

[tbl]

no prob, it's a quote from resident evil 2 game xD
That must have been a Dirty Harry reference.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Aizen: I hate tea! Give me some beer!

[Langus]

Orihime (to Tesla): You know what? To hell with this! I'm tired of waiting for that jack ass to rescue me. Fucking useless is what HE is. Just look at him, getting his ass kicked all over Kingdom Come. And you, you can get your hand OFF my shoulder. What, you thought you could go for a nice titty grope while your boss wasn't looking? Do you have any idea what Aizen-sama would do to you if he knew? Yeah that's right, be afraid. I'll fucking OWN your ass PUNK!

[Cub-Sama]

Orihime: Screw waiting for Ichigo *tears of sleaves and 1/2 of her HM dress* I dare you to come against someone who can reject your birth from reality

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Ichimaru: It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Breakfast at the Kurosakis

Ichigo: This time it was toast, Rukia. This time...


This especially made laugh out loud "This time it was toast, Rukia. This time..."
:heh::heh::heh::heh::heh::heh::heh::heh::heh::heh: :heh::heh::heh::heh:

Ishida: Form feet and legs...
Chad...Forms arms and body...
Ichigo: And...I'll form...I form...uh...I'll form...
Rukia: Dumb ass it's the head!

[tbl]

Ishida: We have surpassed Quincey and Shinigami power, isn't that right Ichigo?
Ichigo: That's right Uryuu.
Ishida & Ichigo: Wonder Twin Powers Activate!
Ishida: Shape of an eagle.
Ichigo: Form of water.

Yamamoto: How can I be this freakin' powerful and still need Viagra?

[Syphen]

Breakfast at the Kurosakis
[Toast pops out of the toaster]
Ichigo: Ah, Hollow! Getsuga Tenshō!!!
Rukia: Um Ichigo, isn't that just toast?
Ichigo: This time it was toast, Rukia. This time...


haha, loved it.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Zangetsu : Call me dandy ossan
Ichigo : .0.o

Ulquiorra: Yes i am EMO.Do you have problem with that?

[Cub-Sama]

Aizen: *takes off pants in front of Orihime* One of the only things about me that isnt an illusion

[dragonmeister]

Komamura (using Bankai): I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

[Frailty]

one day yumichika asked the 11th squad what would they say
if he told them "I think I am gay"
they said "hey it's ok if you're happy that way you're are friend then that's all that should matter"
they said "hey it's ok we don't mind that you're gay you're are friend then that's all that should matter"

[Cub-Sama]

-At Pedobears Anonymous Pedophile Group-
Zaraki: I'm Kenpachi and...I am a lolicon
Pedobear: Hi Kenpachi...did you bring any lolis?
Kenpachi: Oh boy, did I *brings out Yuzu, Karin and Yachiru*
Pedobear: I call dibs on the pink haired one!

[Liwyn]

-At Pedobears Anonymous Pedophile Group-
Zaraki: I'm Kenpachi and...I am a lolicon
Pedobear: Hi Kenpachi...did you bring any lolis?
Kenpachi: Oh boy, did I *brings out Yuzu, Karin and Yachiru*
Pedobear: I call dibs on the pink haired one!

I LOL'D. Then I remembered this:
http://img137.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n69786028342889621446vw4.jpg

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Szayel: I am not a fairy damn it! I am Pap-pil-on...

Ichigo: Aizen! I will defeat you with this!
Ishida: Kurosaki...Kryptonite only works on Superman
Ichigo: Smart huh?
Ishida: In the immortal words of Dexter. "You are stupid!"
Ichigo: Hah I love that show!
Ishida "... ... ..."

[Cub-Sama]

Bleach Eater!

Yamamoto: SHINIGAMI CHOP! ~ Shinigami

Aizen: Yamamoto-sensei what's up with that childish mask? ~ Kishin

Grimmjow: GRIMM STAR TAKES THE STAGE! ~ Black Star

Ukitake: Disgusting...die...depression...death ~ Kidd

Kon: *in Byakuya's gigai* RUKIA-CHAN! LET'S GO SHOPPING! ~ Death Scythe
Rukia: Papa...die ~ Maka

Ichigo: It's the texture, not the taste that matters ~ Soul

Orihime: Law of the Assassin number 1 ~ Tsubaki

Chad: Pot of fire! Pot of Thunder! ~ Kilik

Ishida: LIGHTNING KING! ~ Ox Ford

Urahara: I'LL DISSECT YOU!

Yoruichi: I need a boyfriend ~ Marie

Ururu: Jinta...Screech Alpha ~ Crona
Jinta: WRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! ~ Ragnarok

Kenpachi: From now on my name is Free ~ Free

Renji: That's the kind of man I was ~ Sid

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Ichigo : Spirits always with you! BWAHAHAHA!!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Yachiru: Father
Kenpachi : o.0

----------
Kenpachi : Unohana married with me!
Unohana : Yes i will
4thsquad&11th squad member : Taichou please!!! don't married !!! both of you!!

[Naive]

Orihime: Anything other than "Kurosaki-kun!"

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Orihime: Anything other than "Kurosaki-kun!"

:heh::heh::heh::heh::heh:

:uhoh:

Ishida: "Mayuri-san for you..." Takes off Glasses and puts on shades and Yells* "SOMEBODY CUE ...To Sir with love... da rock version!"

[Cub-Sama]

Orihime: Aw f*ck....

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Urahara: "Weed is plant! It's all natural there are no chemicals involved. It just so happens if you should set it afire there are...some effects.Now do you want Purple Haze, Hawaiian Tystick or Chappy..."

[Cub-Sama]

Ulquiorra: Would you like to supersize that?

[lv23]

Yamichika: I wish I looked more like you.

Yachiru: I should stop eating all these sweets. I really need to think about the future of my teeth.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Yachiru: Mother
Unohana : ......

[Cub-Sama]

Byakuya: *looks left and right before putting on sunglasses* YO YO THEY CALL B-BOY!

[tbl]

Orihime: Kuro- um... sorry I forgot my line.
Tite Kubo: "Kurosaki-kun."
Orihime: Now I remember.

[Cub-Sama]

Nel: Kurosaki-kun!

[Syphen]

Nel: Kurosaki-kun!

Rukia: Kurosaki-kun!

[Langus]

Cub-sama & Syphen: ROFLMAO! I love it :D

Now to add one of my own... Hmm...

Nel: *hands folded* Please come save me Kurosaki-kun! *sigh*

And one more...

Mayuri: "Nemu, have I told you lately that I love you?"

(a cookie to anyone who knows the song reference)

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Grimjoww : Ichigo hurry release Bankai and then fight with me!
Ichigo : Silly Espada,Bankai is for lame shinigami.Instead than Bankai i have other powerful skill
Grimjoww: What is that?
Ichigo : You want know?here,KAMEHAMEHA!!!
Grimjoww: : twitch : *frightening*

[tbl]

Aizen: Ichigo, I am your father.
Ichigo: Really? That's awesome.
Aizen: What, that's your reaction?
Ichigo: Of course it is. Even though you are sociopath with a god-complex, you still seem relatively normal compared to Isshin.

[Frailty]

Rukia: Kurosaki-kun!

Kenpachi: Kurosaki-kun :eyebrow:

[Syphen]

Aizen: Ichigo, I am your father.
Ichigo: Really? That's awesome.
Aizen: What, that's your reaction?
Ichigo: Of course it is. Even though you are sociopath with a god-complex, you still seem relatively normal compared to Isshin.

Aizen: Ichigo, I am your mother...
Ichigo: We'll, #@%*

[HayashiTakara]

Ichigo: Oh, Nel!
Neliel: Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo, ITSYGO!

*poof* a cloud of smoke forms around the two*

Rukia and Inoue walks in.

Rukia: What the fu...?!
Orihime: OMG, Kurosaki-kun, what are you doing?!
Ichigo: Huh? *looks down at Nel* Holy...! Wait, I can explain!
Nel: Oh Itsygo, dars nuffin ta esplane! *drools*

[Ilija]

Mayuri: "Nemu, have I told you lately that I love you?"

(a cookie to anyone who knows the song reference)

Well you just gave me a cookie so I won't bother :)

Nemu: Oh, Tou-chan!!!

[Cub-Sama]

Aizen: Ichigo, I am your father
Ichigo: Well that explains my uber hax ablities!

[tbl]

After Aizen succeeds in al ofl his plans
Aizen: Hmm... now what do I do? I'm sooo bored. Ooh, what's that!?
Gin: I believe it is called "ball and cup"
Aizen: Excellent.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Aizen: I am deliquet,delinquet,delinquet boy~

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Orihime: Kuro- um... sorry I forgot my line.
Tite Kubo: "Kurosaki-kun."
Orihime: Now I remember.


:heh::heh::heh::heh:

Tb...you crack me me up!


Ichigo : "At this defining moment in history. You can stand by my side! "Yes we can!"
Obama: "...Gotta write that down..." :uhoh:

[Cub-Sama]

Ichigo: Promise that we will all make it back here alive
-5 hrs later-
Ichigo: *comes back with Orihime and Nell* Where the hell is everybody?!

[CMHerrera]

Ichigo: Ugh I give up you can have Orhime.
Aizen: What?!
Ichigo: Fighting to save her is not worth it.
Aizen: Yes Orhime is mine! I clammed!! YaY *off guard*
Ichigo: Haahaa just kidding *cuts in half* Sucker...

[tbl]

Hinamori: No, even after all that's happened, I still don't think Captain Aizen is really evil.
Hitsugaya: He votes republican.
Hinamori: That bastard! He is evil.

Orihime: Drill Baby, Drill!

[water_Knight]

Aizen: I think i am gettign weaker
Ichigo: Know is my chance to kill you
Grimjaw: Ichigo will you pwitty pwease spare my life and go kill Aizen then marry me

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Unohana : Bankai!

Gin: I'm so bored with my life shoot and kill me Shinsou

[tbl]

Rukia: Ichigo is mine.
Orihime: No he isn't.
Rukia: Yes he is, I claimed dibs.
Orihime: No you haven't.
Rukia: You're right. I call dibs. Now I have.
Orihime: Dammit.

[Scarlett_Rain55]

Orihime: That boney bitch better get off my man!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Kenpachi: Ichigo im your father
Unohana: Ichigo im your mother
Yachiru : Ichigo im your sister
Ichigo: !@#@#$#@%$#%$^%^&*

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Kenpachi: Ichigo im your father
Unohana: Ichigo im your mother
Yachiru : Ichigo im your sister
Ichigo: !@#@#$#@%$#%$^%^&*

Lols.


Ichigo: You killed my father!
Aizen: I am your father!
Ichigo: No, that can't be! That's impossible! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
Aizen: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
...
Isshin: ...Um....

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Lols.


Ichigo: You killed my father!
Aizen: I am your father!
Ichigo: No, that can't be! That's impossible! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
Aizen: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
...
Isshin: ...Um.......:p

Masaki (Ichigo's Mom) "Well that's news to me...:uhoh:"

[Cub-Sama]

Orihime: Hey Ichigo guess what I found out
Ichigo: What?
Orihime: We're cousins...incest from Calvin Klein

[Kuroda]

Ichigo:*on the phone* So yeah I'm in jail... come bail me out?
Rukia: *on the phone with ichigo* What are you in jail for?
Ichigo Molesting a child...
Rukia: you mean Nel?
Ichigo: yeah.....
Rukia: *hangs up on ichigo*

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Yumichika : Ichigo im your brother
Ikkaku : Ichigo im your father
Ichigo: !!@#$%^%&^*()_+(^$#@@!!!#%

[tbl]

*Ichigo and Rukia's first meeting*

Ichigo: A shinigami, now I've seen everything.
Rukia: Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Ichigo: No...
Rukia: Then you haven't seen everything!

[Cub-Sama]

Rukia: Ichigo Kurosaki, I AM A SHINIGAMI AND I HAVE COME TO CLAIM YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!!!
Ichigo: OMG! NO WAY A SHINIGAMI....do you have a death note?!
Rukia: *slaps*

[CMHerrera]

Rukia: Ichigo Kurosaki, I AM A SHINIGAMI AND I HAVE COME TO CLAIM YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!!!
Ichigo: OMG! NO WAY A SHINIGAMI....do you have a death note?!
Rukia: *slaps*

lol..............

Ichigo: omg then you must now kira dont ya dont ya?

Rukia: *slaps again*

[Scarlett_Rain55]

Ichigo: Rukia is so hot.

[Kyo69]

lol..............

Ichigo: omg then you must now kira dont ya dont ya?

Rukia: *slaps again*

Kira: My name is Kira Iuzuru.
Ulquiorra: Finnaly, I've got you!


Isshin(serious face): Ichigo, there is something I must tell you.
Ichigo: What?
Isshin: The truth is... when I was making love to your mother she was like "Oh baby!" and I was like...
Ichigo: Ah! Stop it! What's wrong with you!

[Le_Rukia]

Ichigo: I want Orihime to cook me dinner

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Ichigo: Orihime you are the best cook in the world!

[water_Knight]

Ichigo: I think i am a normal human know

Rukia: Realy

Ichigo: Yes i realy think so

Rukia: *Put's Glove on and pushes his soul out*

Rukia: You liying little ****er

Ichigo: Dam i thoought you beleaved me

[Cub-Sama]

Soifon: SURE DEATH IN TWO HITS!
-1 hr later-
Yoruichi: Are you telling me you can't even land 2 hits in the same place...and you're an assassin?!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Soifon: SURE DEATH IN TWO HITS!
-1 hr later-
Yoruichi: Are you telling me you can't even land 2 hits in the same place...and you're an assassin?!

OMG that was really deep :heh:

Yoruichi : Meow

[Mr Hat and Clogs]

*desolate voice* Aizen: We are out of tea.

[Cub-Sama]

*desolate voice* Aizen: We are out of tea.

LOL!

Aizen: Okay first and the most serious matter is....we have no more fabric softner....or bleach....
Grimmjow: O.O THIS IS MADNESS! OUR CLOTHES HAVE TO STAY PERFECTLY WHITE
Ulquiorra: Calm down Grimmjow....
Aizen: Leave him Ulquiorra, Grimmjow is right to be mad
Szayel: Well what happened to it?
Aizen: We used all of it washing Yammy's clothes
*everyone glares at Yammy*
Yammy: It's not my fault I'm big boned

[tbl]

Aizen comes out wearing red clothes
Aizen: Who put this red blouse in the washing with my whites!? Separate your goddamn colours!!! This is why I left Soul Society in the first place.
Ulquiorra: My bad.

Orihime: I'm going on the Iron Chef. When I beat Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi, then Kurosaki-kun will love me. Best. Plan. Ever.

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Aizen comes out wearing red clothes
Aizen: Who put this red blouse in the washing with my whites!? Separate your goddamn colours!!! This is why I left Soul Society in the first place.
Ulquiorra: My bad.

If I die from laughter it will be all your fault! I can't read a post without gasping for air.:uhoh:

Wish I could give you rep....but I can't so you have to make do with a shout-out:heh:
EDIT:
Cookie Nazi's are happy...they let me do you! (Ignore the innuendo) :p

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Yoruichi: Ichigo i will reveal my truth appereance
Ichigo : A,a,a Male?!
Yoruichi: Are you dork or something? Look at me carefully im a female, dude

[gorgeous moth]

Tousen: Who turned off the lights?

[Zu Ra]

Chad : the track Dominio del Chad actually makes me look cool for a change !!

[Cub-Sama]

Gin: Tosen how the hell do you keep winning at chess?! You're blind
Tosen: Urm...right....oh yeah Gin put my queen down
Gin: o_O

[tbl]

Ulquiorra: Shingami, why are you splashing me with water?
Ichigo: It's holy water. It's supposed to kill vampires and emos.
Ulquiorra: Oi, I am not a vampire!

[CMHerrera]

Kenpachi: Yachiru your derections was right Ichigo is there!!

Yachiru: See Kenpachi I was right!!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Ulquiorra: Shingami, why are you splashing me with water?
Ichigo: It's holy water. It's supposed to kill vampires and emos.
Ulquiorra: Oi, I am not a vampire!

Ichigo: But you a emo right?
Ulquiorra : Yes i am emo.Wait shit i reveal myself

[Mr. DJ]

this is more like a short indirect conversation...

Nel: Declare...
Omaega: elcair!? I love those
Nel: *facepalm*

[Kyo69]

Ulquiorra: I kissed a girl and I liked it!
Orihime: Shut up!*Slap*

Yachiru: Ken-chan is out looking for Ichigo to kill him. Who will give me a piggyback ride now?
Woderweiss: Oahaaoaaah!

[Cub-Sama]

Ulquiorra: Ichigo...I didn't only kidnap Orihime....I raped her
Ichigo: *goes Super Saiyan 4* I HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

[Tempest35]

Ichigo: Hey, what's up you two.

Rukia: *spies Nel in Ichigo's lap* ... what's with her?

Renji: Hah hah, she took your spot Rukia. *gets pummeled*

Nel: *transforms* I did not, I've been in his lap the entire time. *snuggles Ichigo against her chest* M-I-N-E

Rukia: :twitch:

Renji: :twitch: *looks at Rukia* ... can you transform like that?

Rukia: Sodeno Shirayuki - Tsukishiro!!

[tbl]

Aizen: ... and that's my plan.
Gin: For once can we have a please have a plan that doesn't involve you faking your own death?
Aizen: I don't understand.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Gin: why so serious?

[tbl]

Gin: why so serious?

Ulquiorra: Why so serious?
Ichigo: You're joking right?

[Kyo69]

Aizen: Ulquiorra have you returned from your mission?
Ulquiorra: Yes.
Aizen: I see. Please give us your report.
Ulquiorra: But I'm out of eyes.

Ikkaku: Hey, Yumichika any tips on how to do my hair?

Renji: Kuchiki-taichou please give me your permission to marry Rukia!
Byakuya: Take her! What do I care?

[Cub-Sama]

Rukia: Damn Ichigo isn't here and it's only me, matsumoto, orihime and Nel....meaning...MOON PRISM POWER!
-10 minutes after being beaten-
Ichigo: RUKIA!
Rukia: HOLLOW MASK!

[Spectacular_Insanity]

Yoruichi: Ichigo i will reveal my truth appereance
Ichigo : A,a,a Male?!
Yoruichi: Are you dork or something? Look at me carefully im a female, dude

Lol.

*Yoruichi transforms*
Ichigo: Meh, I've seen better.

[tbl]

Lol.

*Yoruichi transforms*
Ichigo: Meh, I've seen better.
*Yoruichi transforms*
Ichigo: Hello nurse.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Rukia : Hurry Ichigo change into Shinigami !
Ichigo : OK.MOON PRISM POWER MAKE UP!!!
Rukia : *faints*

[Irkalla]

Tousen: Change
xD

[Tempest35]

Peche: Dondachakka, I can feel Nel-sama's presence again! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Donda: Well I think so Peche, but doesn't that mean that she'll remember the time that you hid all her underwear and you blamed it on Nnorita?

Peche: ... oh yeah ...

~*~

Ichigo: Ne-Nel...you're...bigger...

Neliel: Hai. This is my true form. You like?

Ichigo: 0,0

Tesla: Neliel-sama...

Neliel: ...oh you...what do you want?

Tesla: Just a small favor really...*reaches behind his back*

Neliel: *puts her hand on her sword, ready to draw*

Tesla: .... *pulls out a magazine called 'Espada Special Addition: Whoa Nelly!' with Neliel on the cover in a risque pose*
Please sign this for me!!! :love: It's in mint condition and everything! It took me FOREVER to find this, let alone hide it from Nnorita! And Aizen said that if I can get you to sign it, he'd make me an Espada too!

Neliel: :heh: Anything for a true fan....<now I can see why they would promote a dumbass like Nnorita to No. 5...-_- >

[Marskatta]

this is more like a short indirect conversation...

Nel: Declare...
Omaega: elcair!? I love those
Nel: *facepalm*
Hahahahahahaahha :p I literally laughed my ass off! :heh:

Shunsui Kyōraku: I hate you, Nanao.

Orihime: I despise you, Ichigo. Leave me alone!
Ichigo: But, but... Inoue! I love you!

[Cub-Sama]

Ichigo: HEY BLEACH CHARACTERS! WE DECIDED THAT BLEACH IS TOO BORING AND WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A NEW ANIME!
Rukia: What's it about
Ichigo: I'm a ninja with a monster seal-
Rukia: We are not making Naruto!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Aizen : i will stand in Hell
Gin: Wrong word Aizen-taichou it's supposed i will stand in Heaven
Aizen: Oh Crap it.Thanks for corect me

[tbl]

Orihime after finding out about the whole shinigami thing when she was funnier and less angsty
Orihime : That guy Rukia is really a robot... and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
Ichigo: ...Yeah. That's right. I'm a gay robot.

[MoonMask]

Everyone: 'Hey let's not fight.'

[asuki-chan]

Ichigo:ichigo means strawberry!why am i called strawberry! Rukia:maybe its because your a big softy on the inside your a big softie. Ichigo:Oh shut up!:frustrated:

[Cub-Sama]

Byakuya: *sipping tea* Let's settle this over a gentlemen's duel
Ichigo: WTF?!

[Kyo69]

Aizen: Tousen I never asked you where you get the water to make the tea.
Tousen: It is recycled water.
Aizen: Recycled water?
Tousen: Yes.
Gin: But where do you recycle it from?
Tousen: From out toilets of course.
Aizen: *Spits out his tea with surprised, horrified look on his face*
Gin: *relieved and smiling* Good thing I didn't drink any.

[Cub-Sama]

Gin: Urm...Aizen-sama where do we get all Orihime's food from
Aizen: Well...she's actually eating cooked Arrancar disguised using my shikai to look like human food. The exquiedas are actually Las Noches' chef team
Gin: *jaw drops* Then....Aaroniero?
Aizen: Hamburger...

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Grimjoww : Why so serious?
Ulquiorra : Hey that supposed to be my line

[Cub-Sama]

Grimmjow: Im in ur gutterz blocking ur drainage

[Le_Rukia]

Ichigo: Nel ....you have a nice Tail, it is soft yet firm

[Langus]

Ichigo: Nel ....you have a nice Tail, it is soft yet firm

Ichigo: "And would you just look at that hind? *slap slap* I ain't seen me a rump like that in near twenty years. Babe, when it comes to "treats" do you prefer carrots? Or maybe some fresh grass?"

[Le_Rukia]

Nel: Icihgo would you like a ride

Ichigo: I ...I..I...don't know ... ...AH AH ah.hum.ah ..Wh.. What eactly are you .

Nel: A Goat Ichigo... a Goat

Ichigo: no that's alright I only do horses

[Cub-Sama]

Ichigo: OMG! Nel are you a....
Nel: Yup...I'm a goat
Ichigo: DEMON!!!! *runs away holding bible*

[777-tools]

ulquiorra to orihime:comma whit meee,b(censored)ch!

neliel resurreción:i want sugar luuump!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Ulquiorra : Im not your Shi*t
Grimmjow : Im not your Bit*h
Aizen : Who teach you a rude word like that????????!!!!!!!! Papa Never said and teach a rude word like that!

[Cub-Sama]

Aizen: Ulquiorra...Grimmjow I heard the two of you got an F in Ichigo killing without him getting back up in 1/2 episodes classes is this true?
Ulqi and Grimm: Yes Aizen-sama
Aizen: ....That's okay the most importan-*b*tch slaps the two* If you guys don't kill Ichigo I am telling your mother!
Gin: Yes honey?!
Aizen: Not right now honey!

[Kyo69]

Orihime: Ulquiorra please! I beg you! I'm hungry. I will die if I don't eat something. I'm starving, my body is so weak. Please give me some food! Anything.
Ulquiorra: You already eat 2 hours ago. That meal was a one week supply of food. If you eat too much you will get fat.
Orihime: But I'm hungry!
Ulquiorra: We are all out of food.
Orihime *Evil eyes*
Ulquiorra: What's with that look? That won't change the fact that we don't have any more suppies. Yami will return soon from the real world and... Wait what are you doing? Why are you coming this way?... Stop! Stay away! .... Women! I command you! ... No! Stop! Let go of my hand! ... AAAHHH! ... Help! She's turned cannibal! Someone! Help! AHHH......

[CMHerrera]

Orhime: Kurosaki-kun!
Nell: Itsygo!
Nnoitra: *stabs Ichigo in heart*
Ichigo: *in pain*
Nell & Orhime: no!!! *passes out from shock*
Ichigo & Nnoira: hahaa we got them so bad!! HAHaha.
Ichigo: *pulls out sword from underarm*
Noniora: Uh.. Ichigo they passed out..

[Kyo69]

Orihime: Ichigo!

Actually, she will say it eventually. I know it!

[Strygwyr]

Rukia: Nii-sama, ichigo asked me out for a date!
Byakuya: (Thinking) (If I become an uncle....I slice him...).

[gorgeous moth]

Ichigo: Hey, Rukia, about that reunion you promised me...?
Rukia: Ask my nii-sama first. :)

[Kyo69]

Renji: I'll call Rukia and ask her on a date! *Picks up bunny cell phone and calls*
Answer (Byakuya's voice): Who is it?
Renji: OMG! Kuchiki taichou! Why are you answering Rukia's cell phone? (Thinking of the worst)
Byakuya: No one talks to Rukia without my permission.
Renji: *Shocked* (Thinking in his head: DAMN IT!!)
Byakuya: So Renji. What is your reason for calling my nease?
Renji: *fealing the pressure from the other side of the line* Never mind, I'll tell her in person.

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Orihime: Kurosaki-kun i want tell you something.
Ichigo: what is that?
Orihime : Im not a virgin anymore...
Ichigo : HUH?! WHY?!
Orihime: Because last night i sleep together with Aizen,Gin,Tossen,Grimjoww,Ulquiorra,Wonderweiss,Sz ayel and Nnoitra

[777-tools]

neliel (before swallowing cero):IMMA SHOOTIN' MAH LAZOR!!!

from the last manga chapter
sunsun,milarose and apache:MEGAZORD ACCOPLATION!!!

[Tempest35]

Kenpachi: *with Yachiru on his shoulder* .... Oi, Ichigo...

Ichigo: *with Nel on his shoulder* What?

Kenpachi: ... you copyin' me or somethin'?

Ichigo: .... >< nooo, I'm not.

Kenpachi: So why you got a shoulder buddy too? You are copyin' me - loser.

Ichigo: :frustrated: I said I'm not copying you!!


~*~

Yachiru: *stare*

Nel: ....

Yachiru: COUSIN~!

Nel: 0.o;


~*~



Yachiru: Nel! Let's do it!

Nel: Alright! *both jump beside each other*

Yachiru: FU-

Nel: -SION!!

Both: *perform the fusion dance* HAAA!!!

Kenpachi: Ah screw it, this chump's dead already ...*leaves Nnorita*

[Strygwyr]

Byakuya: (Stares at Isshin)...(Im not gonna be related to him.)

[LeminLyme]

Nel (Chibi form) /or/ Orihime: Ichigo

[Cursing Strike]

Rukia: Ichigo, want to play strip poker?

[CMHerrera]

Orhime: Ichigo be my first!!!
Ichigo: O_o....

[gorgeous moth]

Orhime: Ichigo be my first!!!
Ichigo: O_o....


ichigo: Sorry, I already promised Rukia I'll be hers :)

[Strygwyr]

Renji: Rukia, do you like Ichigo?

[Kyo69]

Orhime: Ichigo be my first!!!
Ichigo: O_o....

ichigo: Sorry, I already promised Rukia I'll be hers :)

Orihime: You can be the first for us both!

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Hitsugaya : I like boobs

[starshine]

Ishida and Renji shout in sync :Kurosaki ichigo is better than us in every way and if we were chicks we would totaly hit that

Rukia: No ichigo for the last time i will not sleep with you.. have sex with you well why didnt you just say.. your into s and m right?-scrtch this she would probally say that it was too hard to resist

Orihime:Ichigo is such a f***ing a**hole

Ichigo:*Says anything remotely inteligent about fighting stratagies *

[Mr. DJ]

Orihime: You can be the first for us both!

Ishida - bow chicka bow wow

Hitsugaya - ...damn it's cold!

[Zestelne]

Urahara: Go. Benihime PIMP CANE!!

[Strygwyr]

Rukia: Strawberry-kun.

[Scarlett_Rain55]

I wonder if Rukia is really a virgin...She must've had a lonely 150 years...

[Cursing Strike]

I wonder if Rukia is really a virgin...She must've had a lonely 150 years...

Whats wrong with you???? of course she is.......unless......every night. Rukia crept to Ichigo's bed:).

[Voduar]

Aizen: "I'm not a schemer, Ichigo. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are."

Nnoitra:"Who are you?"
Kenpachi:"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I am the goddamn Batman!"

Nel:"Oh pitiful shadow cloaked in darkness. Thy actions cause men pain and suffering. Thy hollow soul drowns in thy sins. Just this once, would you like to see what death is like? "

Ulquiorra:"I am Kai!"

[Satsuki Yuuhi Ramius]

Gin : I will stand in heaven
Director : Cut!,Cut!,Cut!

[Scarlett_Rain55]

Whats wrong with you???? of course she is.......unless......every night. Rukia crept to Ichigo's bed:).

And raped him? I think she and Renji might've had a little affair back then. :heh:

[Cursing Strike]

And raped him? I think she and Renji might've had a little affair back then. :heh:

oh she didn't do it with Renji....Byakuya wouldn't tarnish the Kuchiki clan THAT far.;)

[Kayin]

Every Major Character: "I'm sorry...it's time for me to...die."

[Utsukushii Hono'o]

Zomari: *Stabs Byakuya* "Farewell nameless captain... You lost...Blah Blah Blah....*Stupefied shock*
Byakuya: *Flashes to another location and is well* "Shihou Black Ops steps technique # 3..."
Zomari"...:eyebrow:
*Mouths* ...Steps # 3? wtf... :confused:"
Byakuya "... I had hoped to avoid using moves I learned from her"
Zomari: "Who?"
Byakuya "Her"
Zomari: "Who?!"
Byakuya: "I said *her* dammit!
Why in the hell do you keep asking me that? * Clenches teeth and mumbles* It's not even in the script!
Zomari: Well I am just wondering why you keep saying *her* when that's clearly... :uhoh:...a lie.
Byakuya: "Huh?!...:twitch:"
Zomari: "Well it is... I will will have you know. We have cable in Los Noches and I watch Naruto! That was CLEARLY a REPLACEMENT TECHNIQUE. I am the best one at Naruto Trivia. Even better than Aizen -sama
Byakuya: *Indignant* It is not! The replacement technique is when you fool the enemy and make them think you were attacked, switch places with a fake body...
Zomari:"....:stare:
Byakuya: "Don't look at me like that... They replace the body with a log!
Zomari:"....:stare:
Byakuya: "Well? *Clenches teeth* Do you see any dead trees?!"
Zomari:" ... ... ..."
Byakuya: "Another thing...The only reason you are better than Sousuke at Naruto trivia. Is because he doesn't watch it. He doesn't like seeing his favorite characters die!"
Director: "Gentleman?! For the love of god will you please stick to the scrip?!:frustrated:
Zomari *Mumbles* His Shikai is rip of Gaara's...

Director: Take 3,000,400,530,000
"Let's take it from the top....

Zomari:"Gemelos Sonido...My Sonido...
Byakuya: ":rolleyes:...Hah!"
Zomari: " My Sonido..is the fastest."
Byakuya: "Yours?" :eyebrow:
Zomari: *Grits teeth* "My Sonido is the fastest..Adding a few extra steps I can create a clone...
Byakuya: "Fraudulent bastard...You should be ashamed"
Zomari: "Come again" :upset:
Byakuya: " I said...Fraudulent bast---"
Zomari: "I got that part!"
Byakuya: "You've got some nerve. For your information Soul Society has satellite and HD!! I watch Naruto too and I read the goddamn manga!!! Gemelos Sonido my ass! That is the Replication technique!"

Director: "Will you both shut up and stick to the script. We have been filming for four months with no sleep. Just because you guys are dead. It does mean the rest of don't need to rest, or eat or wash our asses! Thanks to you we have been getting death threats. Since we had to splice the Bounto and Amagi arc to make a filler arc from the fillers. because we can't get past this one scene! Arrogant, competitive bastards...Arrogant...Competitive? " :thinker:

How the SCG for 196 was inspired...

[tbl]

Kenpachi: I once pulled out a man's skull and beat him to death with it.
Ichigo: Wait, how do you beat someone to death with his own skull? That doesn't seem physically be possible.
Kenpachi: You know what, that's exactly what that man kept screaming.
Flashback: Kenpachi is beating a man to death with his own skull
Man: This doesn't seem physically be possible!!!

[Cursing Strike]

Ichigo: Rukia! stop playing "hard to get".

Rukia: Make me.

[Arthas1011]

Ichigo: Rukia.... I love you

Rukia: Its about bleeding time ya told me... I almost gave up on you and went for Nii sama