View Full Version : Dating
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?
That's what i thought.
I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.
I'm the happiest guy alive.
Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.
:D Glad it all worked out! It gets harder/livelier/more costly/orgasmic/time consuming/superly awesome from here on in ;) there's the good and there's the bad... but depending on how you two handle it, it can be a very, very great, lovely, stupendous, amazing, unforgettable and wonderful experience. Good luck to you both!
Animizzle
2006-04-23, 03:28
Good for you! This is only the beginning though.
http://www.bristollair.com/innergame/identityandbeliefs/how Now read this.
Incidentially, that site is hilarious if you want to have a laugh about this subculture of 'players'. Though I admit their quite often right about woman. Ah!~~ the shallowness of it all
wingdarkness
2006-04-23, 08:28
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?
That's what i thought.
I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.
I'm the happiest guy alive.
Yah! Good job...
That's what it's all about :D ...
Now she said "yes" to what exactly? :p
Komataguri
2006-04-23, 12:06
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?
That's what i thought.
I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.
I'm the happiest guy alive.
Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.
Its easy to get a girl to say yes if shes blind and you have the voice of Barry White
Its easy to get a girl to say yes if shes blind and you have the voice of Barry White
LOL. What are you trying to say here Komataguri? This is a bit negative although I have to say any man with a voice like Barry White would knock most girls off their feet blind or all seeing.
Illuyankas
2006-04-23, 12:22
My sister has banned me from speaking certain words around her, due to my 'deep and manly voice' :heh:
I said sexy once and she freaked out. I'm all about the Barry White, baby :D:
Hey thanks guys. Unfortunately, I don't have a voice like Barry White. I'm kind of a tenor, actually.
Well, unless the girl in question is like Suzumiya Haruhi, who never rejected anyone, but can dump you in 5 minutes :p
Other than that, wishes for the best :)
Hey, that's awesome man. :) Best of wishes for you two.
^ loll nice username
wow, we're the same age too. hahaha D:
anyways, congrats! hope your relationship will be intact for a long time & you guys experience many happy moments together (:
remember to cherish every minute you spend with her!
Hey, you know i just said yes without any hesitation to the guy of my dreams, actually i've been waiting so long, i'm the happiest girl in the world right now!
The funniest thing is that he loves anime, and Kyo in KoF, plus he's the kind of guy who would write about it in a forum but...
Wait a sec...
Rodolfo, is that you?
:D
Homeschooler_Jenni
2006-04-24, 17:28
congratulations. I hope things work out with the two of you ^-^
awesomeness. dont forget to show us prom pictures :)
JOJOS'STAR
2006-04-24, 18:21
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?
That's what i thought.
I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.
I'm the happiest guy alive.
Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.
So... who is she? ^^ Show us some pics!
kira_lacusXX
2006-04-24, 18:31
Hey!!! Congrats to you!!! and it's definitely not stupid, i think it's so sweet that your so happy! good luck to yeh both!
Right now, I like someone, but I can't get the courage to say something.
It's a problem since he's a bit older than me.. I feel sort of naive next to him..
Everyone, do your best! Love is a battlefield. :(
Mincemaker
2006-04-25, 06:05
Time for me to come throw a wet blanket...
Love is full of trials and tribulation. Parents may object. And when you do get married, you have to content with the in-laws. The kids produced from love will deprieve you of sleep. The pressure of work can sometimes make you crack and do things to your beloved spouse and kids that you are going to regret.
And all this will make you lose hair until the old age, when you retire, the kids go out and suffer what you had suffered, and that's when you can finally have quality time with your beloved spouse.
Unfortunately, after like 2 decades of peace, both you and your beloved will go six feet under.
To get straight to the point, your troubles are just beginning.
*glooms*
Ok, enough gloomy stuff. Good luck. You will need it.
(Ok, I never fell in love with a real girl, but heck. Can't resist being a wet blanket like I always did)
Aoie_Emesai
2006-04-25, 08:38
So... who is she? ^^ Show us some pics!
Hahahah, You gotta show us, Jojo is so right ^_^. And good luck, i've been GFless for about 5 years now. I just gotta find the right gal with some of the same interests as me.
ps: Jojo, you sound sorta desperate ^_^. hahaha
Zero Shinohara
2006-04-25, 18:38
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
Legend Ver 2
2006-04-25, 18:52
Care to share how the process went? Like what's your background with her or are you freinds/close friends/acquaintences or what?
I'm sure the guys (i.e. me ;)) and girls would like to the story, since it can provide some insight or tips for us all :D
DingoEnderZOE2
2006-04-25, 23:48
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
WHERE did you find that post!? I must know how people responded to that!
If she's anything like the girlfriends' I've had in the past you've got one hell of journey to go, but you sound a lot different to me. I'm rather shallow, I haven't even asked a girl out so I can only imagine how magical it must be when she accepts it. You also seem to like this girl a lot so that's good. Good luck. :)
Is she an anime fan? :p
I still need to find someone I might be interested in, where could I meet girls hmmm...
Aoie_Emesai
2006-04-26, 08:32
Is she an anime fan? :p
I still need to find someone I might be interested in, where could I meet girls hmmm...
Vaines, try the malls. Like stores like JC Penny and Macy. They receptionist at the fragrances and perfumes are always very pretty. And I always wonder why is that? Is that like the first step to selling expensive fragrances? Pretty girls?
Anime fan? My sisters are though. But my youngest sister is in love with Kira Yamato from Gundam Seed though ^_^. Hahaha
ps: On that link for Zero Shinohara, that was quite sick. And also this thread is getting ridiculous.
2nd PS: Chichi, that signature and avatar makes you seem so netural and plain. And the way you type your word choices sorta proves it a little. You remind me of myself ^_^, a bit back in the days.
ShadowX114
2006-04-26, 09:57
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
LOL this is funny, The guy is freaking crazy if his story is true. I want the link too!! :D
Zero Shinohara
2006-04-26, 12:26
ps: On that link for Zero Shinohara, that was quite sick. And also this thread is getting ridiculous.
Rofl.
I actually got that off /b/ in 4chan, and nobody has the actual link I guess. Still, I'd pretty much say it's fake... come on, a 22-year old who microwaves butter for 8 minutes and pours it on someone (no matter where) is just nonexistant to me.
Also, what I find most funny of all is: "I helped her with her english HW and she still got a D". He sounds pretty smart.
But it's still good laughs, right? And the reason I posted is because it has a bit to do with the topic itself =P Im just warning him to make some research if he hasn't watched much hentai lately!
Vaines, try the malls. Like stores like JC Penny and Macy. They receptionist at the fragrances and perfumes are always very pretty. And I always wonder why is that? Is that like the first step to selling expensive fragrances? Pretty girls?
Anime fan? My sisters are though. But my youngest sister is in love with Kira Yamato from Gundam Seed though ^_^. Hahaha
I am not acquainted with the shops you mention, though it might be because I live in Belgium :) Hmmm, to go shopping...might be interesting, but I hate going out alone, so I suppose I'll have to bring a few friends with me to make it all a trip (lol I make it sound as an adventure, but I never go shopping, apart from food/anime/manga/computer hardware :p).
Damn it! :p
Hm. No posts from Fome for awhile. Now that he's found the girl of his dreams he has no time for us anymore. :p
Congrats, though! :) I'm sure she is very happy. You don't seem like the type of guy girls would easily turn down, though. Unlike the strange guys who randomly approach me with horrible pick up lines and then can't take a hint when I try to politely turn them down... Ah, the awkwardness. :p
Best of luck to you!
Well, that’s nice she said yes…Good luck, and never give up on your dreams!
In the other Hand the girl of my dream I asked her out once, she accepted, nice evening, but them she said those famous words “I only see you as a friend” go figure…She is now about to marry someone who just invited her to the Bahamas. Yep, My Histories always end up this good :P
Vaines, try the malls. They receptionist at the fragrances and perfumes are always very pretty. And I always wonder why is that? Is that like the first step to selling expensive fragrances? Pretty girls?
Actually pretty boys selling fragrances are more common around where I live. Not necessarily gay, but very metrosexual. If I want pretty girls I go to the BILLS PAYMENT counter.
And I don't bother to try pick up girls...trying too hard makes me look like a fool, and I am already an idiot as it is. Similar to j-men, I stay totally aloof and then savor the moments when guys say to me, 'Ya know, she (so-and-so) has been asking about you'.
physics223
2006-04-27, 11:38
Nice one, Zero! I laughed ... a lot ...
Anyway, congrats to you, Fome.
Homeschooler_Jenni
2006-04-27, 21:08
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
No cooters for him anytime soon..haha that was funny...what a idiot :/
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
OMFG. THAT'S AWFUL! that's i'll only ever sleep with guys older than me, haha.
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
Holy mutha F! what the ^&%$^$%^$#, that is the sickest, twisted crap I have heard in a while, after just reading on some triple slaying involving a 12 year old girl, and her boyfriend(23), both murdering the girls parents and little brother.
It's even funnier that that post was made by a senior member.
Catgirls
2006-04-27, 22:28
that's i'll only ever sleep with guys older than me, haha.Yay! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/Mousefinger/Misc/sdsmiley.gif
Rofl.
I actually got that off /b/ in 4chan, and nobody has the actual link I guess. Still, I'd pretty much say it's fake... come on, a 22-year old who microwaves butter for 8 minutes and pours it on someone (no matter where) is just nonexistant to me.
How about this guy (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=427951&perpage=40&pagenumber=1)?
And the update (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=429124):
OMFG. THAT'S AWFUL! that's i'll only ever sleep with guys older than me, haha.
That dude was older than the girls -- old enough to go to prison, anyway... :uhoh:
Woah, thanks guys for all your support. I didn't think there would be so many posts.
Hm. No posts from Fome for awhile. Now that he's found the girl of his dreams he has no time for us anymore.
Pretty much. Nah, you guys are great.
Hey, you know i just said yes without any hesitation to the guy of my dreams, actually i've been waiting so long, i'm the happiest girl in the world right now!
The funniest thing is that he loves anime, and Kyo in KoF, plus he's the kind of guy who would write about it in a forum but...
Wait a sec...
Rodolfo, is that you?
Hmmm, well I do like Kyo, but unfortunately I'm not your man. I sure am happy for you though! I hope you guys have fun.
Care to share how the process went? Like what's your background with her or are you freinds/close friends/acquaintences or what?
I'm sure the guys (i.e. me ) and girls would like to the story, since it can provide some insight or tips for us all
The thing is, we have no classes together. I only see her once in a while in Chinese club, which is why I felt like i was taking a risk by asking her out. I didn't even know her extremely well. I just knew she was quiet and demure, but still sweet when I talked to her.
Any updates?
Yup. We went out for lunch on Wednesday, since we had no school. Potbelly, lol. Then we went to Coldstone for icecream, and we shared a medium vanilla with crunch bar pieces and oreos. I bought some Godiva (she looooves chocolate) and kinda relaxed at an outdoor mall. I kept thinking that I was being boring, but she kept reassuring me that she enjoys talking (is this a good thing?).
We were going to join up with some of my friends for bowling (she is on the bowling team! You could never tell from looking at her slender body...) but it was like 4:00 and bowling was at 7:00. So...we hung out at my house. Not much to do. We watched that new Jet Li movie, Fearless. Then we went to Portillos for dinner and bowled with seven other friends. Man I sucked, she mopped the floor with me.
Omg, she told her mom she'd be home at 9:00, and it was like 11:30. Apparently, her mom had been calling her and she didn't pick up for some reason. My parents end up calling me, and my mom starts saying that her mom is pissed. I totally freak out, but maintain my composure. We finish our last game, and everyone goes home. I was stupid...i should have dropped her off last. Then I could have gotten a kiss or hug or something.
So thats what happened. Tomorrow I'm going to rent a tux. She's gonna wear a navy blue dress, so I'm thinking of going with a black jacket and pants, with a black dress shirt underneath, blue vest and bow tie.
cheyannew
2006-04-29, 14:30
So thats what happened. Tomorrow I'm going to rent a tux. She's gonna wear a navy blue dress, so I'm thinking of going with a black jacket and pants, with a black dress shirt underneath, blue vest and bow tie.
Few key points:
1: Ensure she's not allergic to wool. A lot of the black tuxes, suits, etc are a wool blend, and I'd hate for her to end up like I did after prom: in the ER due to a severe wool allergy LOL Also you might consider matching your shirt to her dress, for an added splash of color (instead of just the vest). I guess wearing a white shirt is oldfashioned huh? Haven't been to the formal dance thing for a loooooooong time LOL
2: Depending on how formal an event this is (so sue me, I didn't go through ALL the posts lol), you may want to invest in a corsage; they go on the wrist, they're flowers, and it's a nice touch. Depending on how old-fashioned she is, she may think it's goofy or she may think it's incredibly sweet. The men's version is a boutonniere (which just pins to your lapel). Regardless, you may want to get her flowers of some sort anyway. It's corny, but seems to work with a lot of women (dead plants, whoda thunk).
3: For your safety, talk to her parents, make sure cell phones are charged (and answered!!) and clear the curfew time. If there's an after-dance party, guesstimate when it'll be over, clear that, etc, procure tickets if necessary ahead of time.
4: Make sure the car is clean, and whatnot, as her parents may poke their heads out and it makes a good impression, as opposed to you being pimped up and your car looking like a dump lol. Also, you don't want her dress to get dirty or anything.
5: Always be polite to her folks, I hope her dad's not the type to interrogate you but if he is, well, answer honestly, he'll probably know if you're lying to impress him :) Be a gentleman and they might overlook being 10 minutes late ;) Heck, bring her home a little early and it makes an even better impression.
Uhm, jeez, my oldest would've been starting the dance/dating thing this year, so I THINK I covered everything I'd've gone over w/ her LOL. Be glad your date's dad isn't like my hubby. Who has sworn he will, when our surviving daughter is old enough to date, do the interrogation whilst sharpening a sword.
Also, should they ever invite you over for dinner, find out what her mom's fave flowers are and bring a small pot of them or whatever. Works wonders: even if the father doesn't like you, ofttimes if the mom adores you (and who wouldn't after flowers!!), you're still safe from harm :)
OH!! Most importantly: HAVE FUN!! And we want PICTURES!!!
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
LOL.
How about this guy (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=427951&perpage=40&pagenumber=1)?
And the update (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=429124):
That dude was older than the girls -- old enough to go to prison, anyway... :uhoh:
Oh God, I remember when I read those for the first time, I laughed so much. I reckon it's a fake, but it's still funny as.
Li Jianliang
2006-04-30, 01:32
Congrats! And go for it, Fome!! I hope the dance turns out will for you! ^^
Aoie_Emesai
2006-04-30, 22:34
Fome - You are the man. Well... you enjoy your new found love and keep her close if you really enjoy spending time with her, enjoy now ^_^.
ps: Save the adult stuff till later. ta ta now.
latestgood
2007-01-05, 08:35
Hello,
I have a date coming up this Saturday. I am 20 years old who recently moved to San Jose. Well, I would like to have a fun and impress my date. But, I have no idea where to go. Please recommend places in San Francisco where I can have fun with my date. Of course, romantci places is a big plus.
Thank you.
onepiecelover
2007-01-05, 15:49
Haha the post by that guy was hilarious, and someone called his parents and told them that thats just wrong and funny at the same time :D
Hello,
I have a date coming up this Saturday. I am 20 years old who recently moved to San Jose. Well, I would like to have a fun and impress my date. But, I have no idea where to go. Please recommend places in San Francisco where I can have fun with my date. Of course, romantci places is a big plus.
Thank you.
I'd say play tourist, go to Pier 39 or Coit Tower or Chinatown.
What the heck do people in this city do, anyway?
Um, go rent a couple of bicycles at Crissy Field, you can head all the way down to Fort Point underneath the Golden Gate bridge, if you're feeling up to it you can bike across the bridge and back or turn around and head all the way down to Ghiradeli Square.
Should be a nice day tomorrow.
kyoji-kun
2007-01-16, 05:45
haha! what an interesting topic!
yeah, I always think about it if she is also interested in me or not. I always met her at school and walk her home after class. we always talk about anime stuffs or anyting that would interest the both of us. I like her because she is always cheerful and smiles a lot and it makes me happy. I've read her previous posts in another forum site and I'm really amazed that were almost the same especially in our life! the only problem is that she is very friendly to other people! I still don't know if she already has someone she likes. I'm always thinking how to confess to her but its not just my forte to do that! some of my friends say that she also like me but I observed that she is just like that to her other friends.
for all of you guys and gals who has done it...I'm all proud of you! ^^
I give love advices to my friends but I can't take my own advice! how silly I am! XD
haha! what an interesting topic!
yeah, I always think about it if she is also interested in me or not. I always met her at school and walk her home after class. we always talk about anime stuffs or anyting that would interest the both of us. I like her because she is always cheerful and smiles a lot and it makes me happy. I've read her previous posts in another forum site and I'm really amazed that were almost the same especially in our life! the only problem is that she is very friendly to other people! I still don't know if she already has someone she likes. I'm always thinking how to confess to her but its not just my forte to do that! some of my friends say that she also like me but I observed that she is just like that to her other friends.
for all of you guys and gals who has done it...I'm all proud of you! ^^
I give love advices to my friends but I can't take my own advice! how silly I am! XD
Don't confess. Confessing can potentially destroy everything. If she likes you too, you will get closer naturally.
haha! what an interesting topic!
yeah, I always think about it if she is also interested in me or not. I always met her at school and walk her home after class. we always talk about anime stuffs or anyting that would interest the both of us. I like her because she is always cheerful and smiles a lot and it makes me happy. I've read her previous posts in another forum site and I'm really amazed that were almost the same especially in our life! the only problem is that she is very friendly to other people! I still don't know if she already has someone she likes. I'm always thinking how to confess to her but its not just my forte to do that! some of my friends say that she also like me but I observed that she is just like that to her other friends.
for all of you guys and gals who has done it...I'm all proud of you! ^^
I give love advices to my friends but I can't take my own advice! how silly I am! XD
E-stalker. http://forums.prowrestling.com/images/smilies/what_smile.gif
How old are you? Just ask her out to dinner or a movie or something really funky like a playground or miniature golf or something, just the two of you.
I think she'll get what you're trying to hint at. :p
But no 'confessing' or two-page letter, that's just kind of weird.
yeah, I always think about it if she is also interested in me or not. I always met her at school and walk her home after class. we always talk about anime stuffs or anyting that would interest the both of us. I like her because she is always cheerful and smiles a lot and it makes me happy. I've read her previous posts in another forum site and I'm really amazed that were almost the same especially in our life! the only problem is that she is very friendly to other people! I still don't know if she already has someone she likes. I'm always thinking how to confess to her but its not just my forte to do that! some of my friends say that she also like me but I observed that she is just like that to her other friends.
XD
Dude just ask her out already. Who gives a crap what other people think, you wait too long and you might lose your chance with her. The worst that could happen, she'll just say no. It's not the end of the world. At least you'll finally know if she's feeling the same way. You guys seem close, ask her out on the walk home. See if she have any plans on the weekend coming up and take her to the movies. Even friends goes to the movies together.
So it's not like you're confessing your heart out, it's just a movie. Take it one step at a time.
Ah, the good old days of lies,
"Hey I got an extra ticket to this movies, wanna come along, everyone will be there,"
...and yet no one shows up except for the two of you.
Well, I don't really want to repeat what everyone in here mostly say, some way it's best to Confess immediately, sometimes it's not the best way to confess at all. Love isn't always the same way as most experienced.
How about this guy (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=427951&perpage=40&pagenumber=1)?
And the update (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=429124):
L.O.L. Perfect 10/10 I haven't laughed with tears in awhile XD
Interesting topic, it made me create an account just to post here.
Well, I need your help guys. I've just turned 15 and never before I've kissed any girl. i'm still young for be on a real relationship, all I want is to make out with a girl to know how it is.
I'm not ugly, but I'm also not handsome. Probably I fit in the normal category ^^. The problem is that I don't know how to talk to a girl I don't know. What do I need to do in order to kiss her?
Oh, this reminds me of another question: With how many years do you kissed for the first time?
I hope you can help me ^^
Interesting topic, it made me create an account just to post here.
Well, I need your help guys. I've just turned 15 and never before I've kissed any girl. i'm still young for be on a real relationship, all I want is to make out with a girl to know how it is.
I'm not ugly, but I'm also not handsome. Probably I fit in the normal category ^^. The problem is that I don't know how to talk to a girl I don't know. What do I need to do in order to kiss her?
Oh, this reminds me of another question: With how many years do you kissed for the first time?
I hope you can help me ^^
Aw, there's nothing wrong with that. I'd suggest you'd be cautious though to make out with a girl just for the experience. Leading people on is a bad thing. ;) I'm sure you'll meet someone and have things go from there. I personally find kissing to be a much greater experience when it's with someone you care for than random person#1. As for my first kiss, I think I was 9. I went back and forth between two neighbor boys. Man, I was such a little slut. :mad:
Interesting topic, it made me create an account just to post here.
Well, I need your help guys. I've just turned 15 and never before I've kissed any girl. i'm still young for be on a real relationship, all I want is to make out with a girl to know how it is.
I'm not ugly, but I'm also not handsome. Probably I fit in the normal category ^^. The problem is that I don't know how to talk to a girl I don't know. What do I need to do in order to kiss her?
Oh, this reminds me of another question: With how many years do you kissed for the first time?
I hope you can help me ^^
True you're a little young to be in a mature relationship but just the right age to have puppy love (I meant innocent love if anyone's getting any dirty thoughts). Hmm... depends on the girl, the kiss might be soft and sensual or rough and sloppy.
Dude you don't need to be handsome to get a girl, all you need is a good sense of personality (humor is good also). Alot of people like to be around with someone who they can have a good time with (money and other things help too). That's the thing, you have to prove to a girl that you're a great person to be with and maybe she'll fall for you.
To approach a girl huh? Well you could always use the straight forward method but that's not that special. Instead you could use secret notes (flowers or poetry works too, if she's into that) hidden in her desk or what not. Just sending her a signal that someone likes her but she doesn't know who it is yet. Let her get all happy and giddy about it, I'll let you choose the time to ask her out.
My first kiss was younger than 9 probably about 4 or 5, it was with my neighbor. I don't recall it but my parents have a photograph of it. It was a kodak moment to them. Till today I still get tease over that photograph and it has always made me blush.
Well good luck to you hope my advice is somewhat helpful.
My first kiss was younger than 9 probably about 4 or 5, it was with my neighbor.
I don't feel as bad now. ;) I was a rather dirty 9 year old though... The poor neighbor boys. They didn't know what they were getting into. :heh:
Uhn... interesting, I really liked what you guys said. It will sure help me ^^. The problem now is find a nice girl, becouse anybody has caught my attention till now.
PS = 4-5 years? This is... dirty :p
Hey when you're a kid, it's like being drunk, you have no clue what your doing. Everything is on the go. Gotta keep going ain't no looking back. And if you think a kiss is dirty... well I really can't help you there.
That's true. When you're a kid, you just go for it. Being 9 was still at the age where boys had cooties, so it was an interesting experience to say the least. And by dirty, I meant I still remember telling neighborboy#1 to try and see how long we could kiss. Of course, thinking back on that, it was more out of curiosity than anything.
My first kiss was younger than 9 probably about 4 or 5, it was with my neighbor.
I also had my first kiss when I was 4 or 5. In fact I had several kisses that summer. :)
Me and a neighbor girl somehow came to consider ourselves as boyfirend/girlfriend.
One of our favorite games was "the wedding game". Her older sister was the priest. She held a short sermon (probably no longer then 30 seconds), at the end she probably said something like the classic "you may now kiss the bride". We then, of course, kissed.
Don't know how many times we played that game that summer.:)
Unfortunatly we got into a fight over a "rocking horse" (don't know the correct word for that toy) and broke up. My family moved shortly after.
We did how ever attended the same school a couple years later, but her class was moved to another school after the first year. Don't think I ever saw her after that.:(
Even now, I get a happy nostalgic feeling everytime I remember her/that summer.:)
Even now, I get a happy nostalgic feeling everytime I remember her/that summer.:)
Aww, that's really cute. :) I never did the marriage thing with the neighbor boys. I was somewhat the tomboy growing up. I was rather proud of the time my friends and I duct-taped one of those inflatable pools. It had a huge gaping hole in it, and we thought if we attached sticks to it with duct-tape that it would turn into a raft. Thankfully I wasn't the one who tested it in the creek. ;) Back on topic though, my younger brother was 8 a few years back and he commented on how he already had two girlfriends. I just shook my head and gave him the 'wtf...?' look. :rolleyes:
@ crall: Kinda know what you mean, so it is unfortunate that you were separated. Happened to me too. It's like a fond, nostalgic memory, since doubtfully either of us will ever experience the same. Gone is the innocence of childhood, no? ;)
Come on, don't bring back those good, pure, and warm memories. I guess that's the thing about growing up, you lose your innocence. Remember bathing in the sun and playing on the swing and slid without a care in the world. Well you can't do that now, everyone's big and we'll look like retards going down a child slid. People will pull their kids away from the giant lunatic. But it was good while it lasted...
Too bad these days, the kids are growing up way too fast, they have lost the concept of the adventurous curious child. Everything is thrown at them by advertisement. Grow up fast and be cool.
phantom_ryder
2007-01-25, 08:50
relationships make me oh so very tired... thinking about growing up too fast and becoming an adult makes me more tired.... *shock* ... oh no, ive gone and done now havent I? *mumbles... must make self un-grown up. I wish I'd realised before I left High School that the place wasn't so bad afterall... better yet... that it only gets worse from there..
... *turns on t.v...
ok I'm better now :D
Come on, don't bring back those good, pure, and warm memories. I guess that's the thing about growing up, you lose your innocence. Remember bathing in the sun and playing on the swing and slid without a care in the world. Well you can't do that now, everyone's big and we'll look like retards going down a child slid. People will pull their kids away from the giant lunatic. But it was good while it lasted...
Then do it at 3 in the morning during a summer shower. Same fun, less witnesses :uhoh:
Then do it at 3 in the morning during a summer shower. Same fun, less witnesses :uhoh:
That's just creepy. I'd have to get up at 3 in the morning, hell I find it hard as it is to get up at 6. You'll probably end up playing with a bunch of spirits at 3.
relationships make me oh so very tired... thinking about growing up too fast and becoming an adult makes me more tired.... *shock* ... oh no, ive gone and done now havent I? *mumbles... must make self un-grown up. I wish I'd realised before I left High School that the place wasn't so bad afterall... better yet... that it only gets worse from there..
... *turns on t.v...
ok I'm better now :D
Words to live by:
If you you look back on your life and think that high school was the best part of it then you messed up somewhere down the line.
Making your own money > begging mom and dad for money.
phantom_ryder
2007-01-30, 21:39
Words to live by:
If you you look back on your life and think that high school was the best part of it then you messed up somewhere down the line.
hey thanks man :D no really.. i appreciate that. it's true as all heck and im glad someone brought that to my attention before "down the line" got longer than i can manage. thanks again, regrets and nostalgic fantasies are for people who don't have guts to live in the now! :D
Words to live by:
If you you look back on your life and think that high school was the best part of it then you messed up somewhere down the line.
Making your own money > begging mom and dad for money.
Well, I guess I have something to look forward too, then. xD
Interesting topic, BTW. Got some good laughs (those links from the other boards were hilarious!) and good tips. xD
No time to get a boyfriend, though...I mean, gee, college! Anyway even if I get a boyfriend, I probably won't go to the same college as him, and I hear long distance relationships aren't always the best. (essp. if it's your first relationship... >>; -i'm lame-)
phantom_ryder
2007-01-30, 23:29
Well, I guess I have something to look forward too, then. xD
Interesting topic, BTW. Got some good laughs (those links from the other boards were hilarious!) and good tips. xD
No time to get a boyfriend, though...I mean, gee, college! Anyway even if I get a boyfriend, I probably won't go to the same college as him, and I hear long distance relationships aren't always the best. (essp. if it's your first relationship... >>; -i'm lame-)
lol don't worry about it.. youre not lame at all. just breathe in and out between each thought k? hehe you're fine.
lol don't worry about it.. youre not lame at all. just breathe in and out between each thought k? hehe you're fine.
roffles. xD
Thanks~
yea, I know I tend to ramble... o_o;
:cool:
retardation
2007-07-22, 19:23
i was wondering how many of you people actually get dates/form relationships with people in your anime circles. i personally have never done anything like this. at this point i'm probably too old for it since anime seems to target more of the teenage/undergraduate crowd but the whole idea of it seems pretty intriguing.
if anyone has dated someone through anime (or tried to) please tell your story.
of course i ain't got a story but since i started the thread i have to say something so lemme give a little anime club anecdote that might be somewhat related. in my school's anime club (which i only attended about 3 times), i saw this girl one time that i swear i had played dungeons and dragons with earlier in the year. i don't really play d&d (not that there's anything wrong with that) but i was invited by some people and the girl i saw in the anime club looked very similar to one in the group of ppl i had played d&d with. my university isn't in the biggest city, there is only one major university in the city, and being in an anime club and playing d&d seem like two things that probably go hand in hand so i thought the chances it was the same girl were pretty high.
now i wasn't trying to hit on her or anything like that but i guess i was staring at her for a bit while trying to decipher if she was the same girl. eventually i go up to her in front of her friends and ask, "didn't i play d&d with you before" of course i get the :uhoh: reaction and the harsh "no." i bet she probably thought i was trying to pick her up with a smooth d&d opening line or something. i think that incident deterred me from trying to really hit on a girl in an anime club type of environment.
http://forums.anime-expo.org/index.php?showtopic=5492
Here is one from many of an aged 25 female from Anime Expo
I met my bf back during AX2005!
I was cosplaying Priest from ragnarok online, he was wearing normal clothes.
the details are like....
At the autograph session for azue yamamoto early in the morning(8am), i was the first few ppl arrives there 1 hour before the autograph. Since there wasnt any sign for the session, i went to ask a AX staff. when i came back, a line formed already and a group of ppl (including my bf) took my place.
I told them i was there but they thought i was cutting in the line..then i got my place back because ppl in front said i was there with them.
then this group of ppl behind me started talking. I heard they said "berkeley", i told them im from berkeley too. then we start talking together, about anime, about games, about our dreams..
after AX, i got back to berkeley taking summer school, the guy who said "berkeley" starts chasing me. I dont like him in the beginning..but it was really fun playing games and watching anime together.
2 months later, i became his gf. This year we are going to AX2007 together to celebrate the 2 year anniversiry of our meeting.
Nintendo
2007-07-22, 20:00
24 isnt old. we are still young. never done it, i usually just walk around looking at stuff to buy and hope and pray the girls wearing the skippy stuff falls out of the dress to get me a peek, because im perverted like that.
Aoie_Emesai
2007-07-22, 22:31
Nope, not really. I'm just there to enjoy some time away from work and home. But If i do happen to meet a person, i would try to build a relationship out of that.
I've made female friends from con's.
I wouldn't look at a con as a dating area -- while you all do have common interests, your time together is pretty short and to me it looks kind of desperate if you're trying to hit on someone as fast as you can.
Even in the AX story, they got together a couple of months after the con -- they became friends there and more-than-friends elsewhere.
mistershow
2007-07-24, 14:08
dating has been rough for me lately. the last guy i dated seemed perfect, until i realized that he had some ultra weird fetishes that he expected me to perform. ever since them, my friends tease me by sending me links to videos on youtube and other random pictures that somehow relate to the situation, lol
Thewanderer
2007-07-29, 22:27
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?No, because anyone that thinks that you're "not in his/her league" don't deserve you, because no human is better than the other. Try to date someone that respects you.
Numinous_Pulchritude
2007-07-31, 17:11
No, because anyone that thinks that you're "not in his/her league" don't deserve you, because no human is better than the other. Try to date someone that respects you.
I agree. Some people are just full of themselves. :upset:
I love you all. xD
dating has been rough for me lately. the last guy i dated seemed perfect, until i realized that he had some ultra weird fetishes that he expected me to perform. ever since them, my friends tease me by sending me links to videos on youtube and other random pictures that somehow relate to the situation, lol
Haha. Aww but that's a shame. I'm sorry.
Anyway... I've been SO unsuccesful with girls. I've just left school recently. And I've never had a girlfriend. (So don't worry Renvi ;)).
Hmm there was this one girl... but I NEVER spoke to her. :( By the end of school, though, I realized she didnt seem very nice. I just I could've said SOMETHING though....
But oh well. Gotta move on. :)
animesaint
2007-08-02, 12:09
Its all up to you man!!!
Actually its up to both of you to maintain a relationship.
Gl, HF, hopefully GG.
cheese4u
2007-08-02, 12:23
:Ddating has been rough for me lately. the last guy i dated seemed perfect, until i realized that he had some ultra weird fetishes that he expected me to perform. ever since them, my friends tease me by sending me links to videos on youtube and other random pictures that somehow relate to the situation, lol
If your trying to avoid people with weird fetishes, I don't think talking about it on the internet is such a hot idea (just saying):D
KyuubiRocks
2007-08-03, 11:29
Well "FOME"..i noticed its been over a year since you started this thread..
i was woundering how things are still going dude?..
I've just left school recently. And I've never had a girlfriend. (So don't worry Renvi ;)).
Don't worry. I never had a girlfriend in high school either... because my parent didn't want me to have one: they're trouble >_> yeah right.
Anyway... at college I didn't have one either. At work the same. Actually I don't even bother looking for someone.
And now that I'm back to studying, it's still the same... except this time I'm starting to realize something and point is I don't think I'll ever get one.
And at my age I'd really look like a fool so I'd better let it go and focus on other plans.
Oh dang.... but do you mind? Heh but I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. You're parents say girls are trouble eh...? You're mum's a women right? (No offense).
Well "FOME"..i noticed its been over a year since you started this thread..
i was woundering how things are still going dude?..
Woah really!? O_O
No, because anyone that thinks that you're "not in his/her league" don't deserve you, because no human is better than the other. Try to date someone that respects you.
While I do agree with you, I think the topic creator was just referring to how sometimes we all might feel inadequate in the face of someone who we think is out of our league.
Personally, that's why I really dislike it when people judge a book by its cover (though, I'm guilty of this sometimes XD).
Well "FOME"..i noticed its been over a year since you started this thread..
i was woundering how things are still going dude?..
Holy crap. I never thought I'd see this thread again.
Well, I've learned a lot from my first dating experience. No, we're not dating any more, as she's gone to a different school and the relationship wasn't strong enough to warrent staying together. It was a simple break up, no heart feelings or anything. She still stays in touch, and I'm glad I had a chance to get closer to her, however brief it was.
In retrospect, I think I had been too persistant with the romantic aspect, rather than the fun aspect. As everyone knows, things often get really different when you switch from being friends to being boyfriend/girlfriend. I kind of wish that it didn't change, that the friendly, lighthearted sentiments remained. It probably means we weren't particularly compatible, but I think I'll be more cautious in future endeavors. I'm going to take things slow from now on, let relationships blossom on their own.
KyuubiRocks
2007-08-04, 05:33
Mate I'm sorry things didn't work out..but trust me
..This is something you'll look back on and say to yourself, I took the chance and it happened. I have so many friends who wish that they had the same courage you had to ask someone whom they felt was out of their league..so keep your head up..if she isn't the ONE..then she isn't...just keep on strutting bud..your still friends
so who knows..from my personal experience nothing is ever certain. I'm in your corner bud...so let the "FOME" spread....lol :D
anti-random
2007-08-22, 01:27
lets all revive this forum. i would of posted something meaningful for advice but i have to reword it because well i got in trouble for the last thread i created.
I think I'm out of my own league right now. I tend to advertise myself and I am a big flirt, but I seem to find myself attracted to girls who wont like me and have girls who I know I wouldn't like attracted to me. So I kind of just leave the whole relationships thing out there and try to ignore it. (Coincidentally all the girls who get crushes on me have larger sized cups... Eventually I figured this out and realized quite a few things about my soul mate.)
Honestly, I don't really think about relationships much anymore. I'd always rather improve my guitar or practice singing. Or maybe that's just how I've made myself to avoid worrying about relationships. In any case, there are plenty of opportunities in the near and distant future, so I'm not particularly concerned.
Earth Wyrm, there are probably lots of people like you. I'm also 20, and not actively pursuing anything. I think you were right when you believed that genuine relationships happen by themselves, and I think both of us haven't lived nearly long enough to falsify that. Trust me, just be open and concentrate on other things. The right one will come.
silent_halo
2007-09-12, 15:10
The right one will come.
Aww thats so sweet ^^
but good for you, SHE SAID YES!
but does anyone else think this is wrong, or agree!?
My dad won't let me have any bf's or hang out with guys out side of school untill i'm 20 :(
TakutoKun
2007-09-12, 15:32
Aww thats so sweet ^^
but good for you, SHE SAID YES!
but does anyone else think this is wrong, or agree!?
My dad won't let me have any bf's or hang out with guys out side of school untill i'm 20 :(
That is alright. Relationships are costly and time consuming! ;) Perhaps that is why I am still single at 22!
Zero Shinohara
2007-09-12, 16:07
I can understand that.
I've never had a real girlfriend, other than a very poor (and short) relationship when I was 12 and an online thing which I don't beleive counts (not in my case, certainly.)
I've never made any effort to pursue a relationship with anyone - ever. I've always just kind of assumed that a genuine relationship would happen of its own accord eventually - but it never has, and sometimes I wonder how many years I can reasonably continue to just wait...
Up until recently it hasn't really bothered me - but now I'm at an age (20) where certain things will be expected of me in a relationship, and I don't think I'm ready to provide. I never got the 'practice sessions' that most people have in High School, so I think that when I do get into a relationship, it's going to be awkward both for me and my partner; I'm going to need someone special to put up with my naivety - which further puts me off pursuing anything; it's a cycle of sorts.
Well, I can relate to your experience very well. I'm also 20, almost 21, and the only experience I had was an online thing that ended up screwing my perception of relationships even more. It's somewhat embarrassing, of course, but to each their own, right? Personally, I don't think I'll ever get around to finding someone because, honestly, I'm a difficult guy to tackle - I have high hopes and expectations for a partner, I'm also full of idiosincrasies and what-not, so any woman planning on marrying me needs to have a big heart and an even-bigger patience :heh:
Aww thats so sweet ^^
but good for you, SHE SAID YES!-
but does anyone else think this is wrong, or agree!?
My dad won't let me have any bf's or hang out with guys out side of school untill i'm 20
Look, I have young brothers, and I play the father role to them since theirs simply vanished and is nowhere to be found, so I understand your dad's feelings quite well. Maybe 20 is a bit too much, because I believe it's from 16 to 19-20 that you are the most free and can enjoy yourself the most. Having spent that entire term inside a dark room and typing on a keyboard, I can tell you that if you don't make good use of this time, you'll regret it. So I'd say have your fun in your own way, perhaps have a little relationship here and there... but don't get serious at such a young age. :D
TakutoKun
2007-09-12, 17:33
Having spent that entire term inside a dark room and typing on a keyboard, I can tell you that if you don't make good use of this time, you'll regret it. So I'd say have your fun in your own way, perhaps have a little relationship here and there... but don't get serious at such a young age. :D
I can relate to you in this circumstance. Though I have never really had a relationship, per say, it is important to develop the need for a real relationship for when you are older. I note that people should not get so serious at a young age. The possibility that you will be with that person is relatively minimal at most. There was this girl at work that as soon as she turned 18, she met a guy and within three weeks was engaged.
You have a long life ahead of you, take your time.
That is alright. Relationships are costly and time consuming! ;) Perhaps that is why I am still single at 22!
...so...i herd you liek mudkipz?
TakutoKun
2007-09-13, 10:03
...so...i herd you liek mudkipz?
Who wouldn't like this -> http://www.pikamac.com/misc/mudkip.png
I must be falling behind in slang (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/So_i_herd_u_liek_mudkip) or something! lol
I actually I like ->http://dana.ucc.nau.edu/jb264/pikachu.gif
What is this strange voodoo ritual you people call "dating"?
silent_halo
2007-09-13, 10:41
Who wouldn't like this -> http://www.pikamac.com/misc/mudkip.png
I must be falling behind in slang (http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/So_i_herd_u_liek_mudkip) or something! lol
I actually I like ->http://dana.ucc.nau.edu/jb264/pikachu.gif
aww the mud kip looks cute ^^
Sinestra
2007-09-13, 11:25
OMFG. THAT'S AWFUL! that's i'll only ever sleep with guys older than me, haha.
Cookies for you most def.:D
Looks like this tread might be kicking up again its fun talking about dating and everyone was real nice not jackasses or perverts like on some other forums
dating is a task that may kill me. I have a low Love Quotient. I like girls but i dont know which buttons to push. :( There's this girl that I like. She usually sits next to me in class and I crack perverted jokes at her but strangely, she laughs at it. I wonder what impression I make if I continue doing it. Help needed plz
TakutoKun
2007-09-13, 16:01
dating is a task that may kill me. I have a low Love Quotient. I like girls but i dont know which buttons to push. :( There's this girl that I like. She usually sits next to me in class and I crack perverted jokes at her but strangely, she laughs at it. I wonder what impression I make if I continue doing it. Help needed plz
I am not one to provide advice, but have you ever considered asking her out for a coffee, walk, movie, etc...? You could try to have conversations that are not totally geared towards sexual connotation to see her reactions.
I'm sorry, but given your current interactions, I think asking her out would be a poor choice. It'll be the most awkward thing ever. I would say that you guys need to become closer first. If it's not easy to do this, then she probably isn't right for you.
dating is a task that may kill me. I have a low Love Quotient. I like girls but i dont know which buttons to push. :( There's this girl that I like. She usually sits next to me in class and I crack perverted jokes at her but strangely, she laughs at it. I wonder what impression I make if I continue doing it. Help needed plz
You know, she also may laugh because it's the only thing she feels would be appropriate as a reaction to your perverted jokes. I know if a strange guy who sat next to me in class was talking like that, I would find it immature and awkward...but wouldn't want to hurt his feelings if he seemed to generally be "a nice guy with rude tendencies." I'd be careful since you could seriously label yourself as her 5th period stalker.
Why exactly do you feel the need to make jokes like that around her? I'm honestly curious since you mentioned not knowing "which buttons to push." You don't necessarily need to push any buttons...just gently nudge awareness in an attractive way.
anti-random
2007-09-14, 04:28
Knowing how to ask a girl is easy. Making a move on the girl is easy also, but getting past the parents is the predicament. Any ideas?
TakutoKun
2007-09-14, 08:40
You know, she also may laugh because it's the only thing she feels would be appropriate as a reaction to your perverted jokes. I know if a strange guy who sat next to me in class was talking like that, I would find it immature and awkward...but wouldn't want to hurt his feelings if he seemed to generally be "a nice guy with rude tendencies." I'd be careful since you could seriously label yourself as her 5th period stalker.
Why exactly do you feel the need to make jokes like that around her? I'm honestly curious since you mentioned not knowing "which buttons to push." You don't necessarily need to push any buttons...just gently nudge awareness in an attractive way.
Sounds like excellent advice to me.. and from a girl... :P
Zero Shinohara
2007-09-14, 09:08
Knowing how to ask a girl is easy. Making a move on the girl is easy also, but getting past the parents is the predicament. Any ideas?
Buy her dad a lawn mower. It always works, guaranteed.
Seriously, though, I think that no matter who you are, you're gonna have a hard time going past the parent barrier. After all, you're an unknown who's been going out and spending time with their beloved daughter. Any normal parent would have his senses at the maximum level. But perhaps >taking< the initial step in wanting to meet them would be a good idea, since it shows that you don't have a reason to hide from them. Being polite and understanding should help as well.
@Mr.Incest:
Well, I'm not one to have the right to give you much advice since I rarely talk to anyone nowadays. But back in the days, I'd have a strict policy of never saying perverted or dirty things around women, >especially< a girl I liked. Even among my close female friends, I'd do my best to never act in an offensive way or use offensive language... first off because I'm an old-style gentleman, secondly because I think girls should keep a pure heart. But I had a strange upbringing, so I might be an exception to the norm. Still, being polite is always better.
That being said, I also agree that jumping in and asking her out would be a bad idea. Perhaps a while after you have a change of attitude and a change of topic whenever talking to her, that would be fine. It could also work as a way of showing her you've matured a bit, even if on the inside you still wanna go Superbad on her.
Dkong1026
2007-09-14, 11:11
My opinion on dating- screw it.
I have enough crap going on in my own life to have to worry about someone else. Plus most girls at my school are really superficial and just not worth ANYONE's time.
I just wanted to post this
For every guy just trying to find a girl to get laid
There will be a girl just playing games with a guy
It pretty much...Not every guy is going to be honest and up front. Just because he is nice now, doesn't mean he wll be the same in a week or two...or after he gets what he wants.
Dont waste your time
And if that girl is deciding to play games like...I like you, but dont want to go out with, just friends, I like you, but I like someone else...blah blah. Pretty much spreading thier opitions before thier make that decision(See how good she can do without losing that safety net)
Dont waste your time
psycho bolt
2007-09-14, 15:55
My opinion on dating- screw it.
I have enough crap going on in my own life to have to worry about someone else. Plus most girls at my school are really superficial and just not worth ANYONE's time.
You are quite young and will think that way at first, but then later you'll see that dating is a lot fun. Especially if you and she are good for each other.
aki/kaze/shi
2007-09-14, 19:59
He he, I don't really like dating, but I don't like socializing with people because they all think I'm weird and shouldn't be talked to.^^' But I do like having someone, it makes me happy. But I don't really like it now.^^' There's someone I really like, actually love, but since I'm not allowed to be with him anymore, for awhile it seems -.-, I've sorta not wanted to with anyone else and would like that to be for awhile.
I always get nervous saying this stuff.^^' So it hardly makes sense. He he..he he he..^^' I'd like to date someone though, because for a reason, but I just can't really fall for anyone else. Well, it'll take two years. Or more. o_O And friends can get annoying at that. -.-'
I kinda wish there was someone here that would promote us to act like in Densha Otoko :p A guy who is hopeless and meets THE girl and we all help him win her heart. To believe that something like that actually happened! But yes, I am a girl who likes to give advice on love troubles, one because I am currently in a happy long-term relationship and two because many of my closest friends are guys and three because I'm a girl...so if guys have any female confusions: ask away!
psycho bolt
2007-09-14, 21:21
I kinda wish there was someone here that would promote us to act like in Densha Otoko :p A guy who is hopeless and meets THE girl and we all help him win her heart. To believe that something like that actually happened! But yes, I am a girl who likes to give advice on love troubles, one because I am currently in a happy long-term relationship and two because many of my closest friends are guys and three because I'm a girl...so if guys have any female confusions: ask away!
Me too, I also like to give advice. Even though I'm not in a relationship it's because I get super excited on people seeking love. BTW, I'm a guy.
Dkong1026
2007-09-15, 04:08
Ok well I just have a dilemma.
The only "relationship" I've ever had was a lame 8-9 month on and off kinda thing with a girl in 8th grade. We didn't really get past kissing on the cheek (sad, but whatever, it was all we were comfortable with).... Even on the communication end of things we didn't get very far. We just talked about menial crap in our lives.
Now I'm a junior in HS and that's still the only relationship I've ever had. Now even some of my fellow geeky friends are starting to get into relationships and junk. I just feel in limbo.
Honestly, I have yet to meet THE girl (or even anything close)....so I'm not exactly interested in anyone at school. But then there's crap like homecoming, prom, winter formal, etc, that I just end up not going to because I have no date. Again, seeing as I really don't have any romantic interest in any girls at school, I don't beat myself up over it....
But I just can't help feeling that I will more likely than not be "coming up short" for the fact that the farthest I've gone is a kiss on the cheek. I realize I have a year and 3/4 of HS left, so stuff could still happen...but if my life continues as it has been, it's unlikely that anything will happen.
And as I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, go to the major drinking parties, the odds of any one night flings are basically out the window.
All in all, I just feel like I'm in limbo because I have no actual target. No girl I really want.......yet if you NEVER have a gf in HS that is just lame and it would make college relationships 10x harder because of a lack of experience.
So I guess I really can't be asking for advice, because my only 2 options are (as I see it):
- start drinking and partying to pick up chicks
- feign interest in a girl to start a relationship
I don't want to do either.
Blarg, I'm just confused.
I guess what it comes down to is that I just don't have an interest in dating anyone at the moment, and I'm ok with that....but since it just feels so awkward and the total opposite of what society deems is normal, so I feel kinda bad about it.
So what would you do in my situation?
Is it lame then? :( I'm at college now and I've NEVER had a girlfreind. There was this girl who I... hold on have I already said this? *Looks back a few pages.* No I haven't.... haha but I did say I've never had a girlfiend. Anyway, there was this girl I fancied since year 8 but never spoke to. I had a feeling she really didn't like me, because year 8 was the year I... "went along with the crowd." You know, breaking school rules cos it's fun.
Then in year 9 I didn't have any classes with her.... which was a relief. Course I still saw her around school, and constantly avoided eye-contact. By the time year 10 arrived, and I was having classes with her again, I realized I was SCARED of her. Sort of. I wished I could either never see her again or SOMEHOW manage to talk to her, which is 10 times harder when you have asperges. I even started to fantasize conversations... very sad I know. :( I was getting kinda depessed. :( I tried my best to... "act normal". If you know this situation you know you end up doing the complete opposite, and she obviously thought I was the weirdest person ever.
So that's it really.... wow, I didn't plan to tell this story. O_o Sometimes I wander if I CAN find someone else, but it's so HARD to let go, and forget about her.
Ok well I just have a dilemma.
The only "relationship" I've ever had was a lame 8-9 month on and off kinda thing with a girl in 8th grade. We didn't really get past kissing on the cheek (sad, but whatever, it was all we were comfortable with).... Even on the communication end of things we didn't get very far. We just talked about menial crap in our lives.
Now I'm a junior in HS and that's still the only relationship I've ever had. Now even some of my fellow geeky friends are starting to get into relationships and junk. I just feel in limbo.
Honestly, I have yet to meet THE girl (or even anything close)....so I'm not exactly interested in anyone at school. But then there's crap like homecoming, prom, winter formal, etc, that I just end up not going to because I have no date. Again, seeing as I really don't have any romantic interest in any girls at school, I don't beat myself up over it....
But I just can't help feeling that I will more likely than not be "coming up short" for the fact that the farthest I've gone is a kiss on the cheek. I realize I have a year and 3/4 of HS left, so stuff could still happen...but if my life continues as it has been, it's unlikely that anything will happen.
And as I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, go to the major drinking parties, the odds of any one night flings are basically out the window.
All in all, I just feel like I'm in limbo because I have no actual target. No girl I really want.......yet if you NEVER have a gf in HS that is just lame and it would make college relationships 10x harder because of a lack of experience.
So I guess I really can't be asking for advice, because my only 2 options are (as I see it):
- start drinking and partying to pick up chicks
- feign interest in a girl to start a relationship
I don't want to do either.
Blarg, I'm just confused.
I guess what it comes down to is that I just don't have an interest in dating anyone at the moment, and I'm ok with that....but since it just feels so awkward and the total opposite of what society deems is normal, so I feel kinda bad about it.
So what would you do in my situation?
Ok, first off, you are completely wrong. Having had relationships in highschool have nothing to do with future relationships in college or beyond. I didn't have a boyfriend until my senior year of highschool, and even then, it was a meaningless one that stemmed from pure curiosity. I definitely didn't learn anything from that relationship. Worried about prom, ball, homecoming? Don't be. What's wrong w/ going with just a friend. I went to my homecoming my junior year with my best guy friend and it was more fun than the prom I went to my senior year with my alleged 'boyfriend'.
College is a place where you can restart, open a new chapter you may say. No one has ideas on who you might be since they didn't grow up with you in the same school your entire life. College students don't remember when you wore glasses or had braces for 3 years. They don't know any embarassing stories. I thought I wasn't pretty because I didn't have many relationships in highschool, but when I hit college, it was very hard actually turning people down. Plus, take your time. You don't want to regret anything in your past, so I would just focus on having fun with school while you're young and concentrate on what you want to do with the future: i.e. college or any other dream. Don't let want or lack of a relationship steer your path.
This can include you too, Reno. Trust me, there are LOTS of fish in the bowl....and bowls connect to other bowls: all of various sizes. As much in love with my boyfriend as I am now, I still understand that if I didn't know him, or something happened and I moved somewhere else, I can guarantee you that there would be someone who would catch my eye. But it's not like you have to look, just wait, and if it happens, it happens...if it doesn't, then someone else better is probably coming along and you should just wait for it.
Oddly enough i never really made much effort for the girls, usually end up dating the ones that confess/made a move on me first.
I m usually too shy or too thick to realize my own feelings for the opposite sex. Maybe i m a guy version of tsundere?
psycho bolt
2007-09-15, 10:48
Is it lame then? :( I'm at college now and I've NEVER had a girlfreind. There was this girl who I... hold on have I already said this? *Looks back a few pages.* No I haven't.... haha but I did say I've never had a girlfiend. Anyway, there was this girl I fancied since year 8 but never spoke to. I had a feeling she really didn't like me, because year 8 was the year I... "went along with the crowd." You know, breaking school rules cos it's fun.
Then in year 9 I didn't have any classes with her.... which was a relief. Course I still saw her around school, and constantly avoided eye-contact. By the time year 10 arrived, and I was having classes with her again, I realized I was SCARED of her. Sort of. I wished I could either never see her again or SOMEHOW manage to talk to her, which is 10 times harder when you have asperges. I even started to fantasize conversations... very sad I know. :( I was getting kinda depessed. :( I tried my best to... "act normal". If you know this situation you know you end up doing the complete opposite, and she obviously thought I was the weirdest person ever.
So that's it really.... wow, I didn't plan to tell this story. O_o Sometimes I wander if I CAN find someone else, but it's so HARD to let go, and forget about her.
Haha, same here man. I just recently found out she is going to the same college as me. It scared the shit outta me when I saw her walking to class. I had to hide under a bush. :D
Haha, same here man. I just recently found out she is going to the same college as me. It scared the shit outta me when I saw her walking to class. I had to hide under a bush. :D
Omg no way!! :heh:
Oh yeah and Marina.
You know, she also may laugh because it's the only thing she feels would be appropriate as a reaction to your perverted jokes. I know if a strange guy who sat next to me in class was talking like that, I would find it immature and awkward...but wouldn't want to hurt his feelings if he seemed to generally be "a nice guy with rude tendencies."
To be honest I don't think that's a good idea. I know I'd hate it. Because if they might find out after ages (whatever it may be) the person's feelings might be hurt even more, when all along they thought it was ok.
Oh yeah and Marina.
To be honest I don't think that's a good idea. I know I'd hate it. Because if they might find out after ages (whatever it may be) the person's feelings might be hurt even more, when all along they thought it was ok.
I think you quoted the wrong quote... or perhaps you did quote the right one, and if so, it's not like I wouldn't say anything. I'd just try to relate to him that what he was doing was inappropriate without being mean about it.
Nintendo
2007-09-15, 18:07
sometimes you have to just bite your lip, walk to the person you like and start a convo.
i try it, but then always say its a waste of time and never do it lol.
aki/kaze/shi
2007-09-15, 18:19
Un, I actually find it easy to say to someone my feelings.^^' But most of the time, they think I'm joking. Which can be good. Sometimes. XD Although, it only happened once. I did go out with two other guys, but somehow broke ones heart and everyone laughed at him, and the other I just began to dislike.^^' But I sorta hate people, and am not used to having friends or anything now. Eheh, but I thought that maybe I could try to find someone again, but it just doesn't seem to be me. So I guess I'll just remain with feelings towards one person until someone can cross the border line. (or something.^^' It was something my mom read to me that fit me. And I can't remember it.)
Heh, but I'm still just a kid. And the type who doesn't change easily. So, yeah.^^' Who woulda thought the first girl to hit puberty in her grade would be like this. XD Aw well.^^'
Dkong1026
2007-09-15, 18:19
Marina- thanks for that bit of insight. That helped a lot, actually. :).
0_o
Oh well, when I do occasionally attract the attention of a member of the opposite sex, they almost universally turn out to be the stalker type.
Dang man. That's pretty hardcore. One girl did that to me in 2nd or 3rd grade but that's about it :D.
TakutoKun
2007-09-15, 23:04
Un, I actually find it easy to say to someone my feelings.^^' But most of the time, they think I'm joking. Which can be good. Sometimes. XD Although, it only happened once. I did go out with two other guys, but somehow broke ones heart and everyone laughed at him, and the other I just began to dislike.^^' But I sorta hate people, and am not used to having friends or anything now. Eheh, but I thought that maybe I could try to find someone again, but it just doesn't seem to be me. So I guess I'll just remain with feelings towards one person until someone can cross the border line. (or something.^^' It was something my mom read to me that fit me. And I can't remember it.)
Heh, but I'm still just a kid. And the type who doesn't change easily. So, yeah.^^' Who woulda thought the first girl to hit puberty in her grade would be like this. XD Aw well.^^'
You sound like a real "heart-breaker."
That and that's more than "we" need to know! :P J/K :)
well some times the person who is out of your league becomes some one who realy is in a league below you. take what I said as you may because I meant many things by it.
Zero Shinohara
2007-09-16, 01:12
Telling others about your feelings, huh? Yeah, I tried that a couple of times, and was badly shaken off in all of them.
I mean, I've always been a chicken around girls. Too much anime, probably, as my image of "The Guy" is always the cool type who has the girl confessing first. Trust me, doesn't work. Sixth grade was like that. I really liked a girl in my class, and perhaps she did like me as well, and we would've been probably really good friends if I didn't start ignoring her right after I took the first step.
Eight grade was the last straw, though. It happens when you start liking a HS sophomore who thinks she's so high and mighty, gather all the Gai-sensei courage to confess to her and all she does is laugh merrily at you and throw a half-smile back. Two months of trying to get her attention were enough to piss me off, and so I never let myself show that weak, pathetic side of me again. You could say I'm a McGuiver+Chuck Norris hybrid, just with a bit of a Jackie-Chan "I do all my own stunts" type.
If you didn't make any sense of that, then there's still hope for you.
Telling others about your feelings, huh? Yeah, I tried that a couple of times, and was badly shaken off in all of them.
I mean, I've always been a chicken around girls. Too much anime, probably, as my image of "The Guy" is always the cool type who has the girl confessing first. Trust me, doesn't work. Sixth grade was like that. I really liked a girl in my class, and perhaps she did like me as well, and we would've been probably really good friends if I didn't start ignoring her right after I took the first step.
Eight grade was the last straw, though. It happens when you start liking a HS sophomore who thinks she's so high and mighty, gather all the Gai-sensei courage to confess to her and all she does is laugh merrily at you and throw a half-smile back. Two months of trying to get her attention were enough to piss me off, and so I never let myself show that weak, pathetic side of me again. You could say I'm a McGuiver+Chuck Norris hybrid, just with a bit of a Jackie-Chan "I do all my own stunts" type.
If you didn't make any sense of that, then there's still hope for you.
For most people, romance doesn't become truly viable until well into adulthood, and adulthood these days seems to be coming during the mid-twenties, at earliest. Don't sweat anything that happened before you're legally able to run for congress. :D
I think you quoted the wrong quote... or perhaps you did quote the right one, and if so, it's not like I wouldn't say anything. I'd just try to relate to him that what he was doing was inappropriate without being mean about it.
Nah I did quote the right thing. What I meant was, you should ALWAYS be honest with someone, because it might hurt them even more in the long run.
psycho bolt
2007-09-16, 10:41
For most people, romance doesn't become truly viable until well into adulthood, and adulthood these days seems to be coming during the mid-twenties, at earliest. Don't sweat anything that happened before you're legally able to run for congress. :D
Hehe, they are still at the bench waiting for their first swing.
Ascaloth
2007-09-16, 11:21
Telling others about your feelings, huh? Yeah, I tried that a couple of times, and was badly shaken off in all of them.
I mean, I've always been a chicken around girls. Too much anime, probably, as my image of "The Guy" is always the cool type who has the girl confessing first. Trust me, doesn't work. Sixth grade was like that. I really liked a girl in my class, and perhaps she did like me as well, and we would've been probably really good friends if I didn't start ignoring her right after I took the first step.
Eight grade was the last straw, though. It happens when you start liking a HS sophomore who thinks she's so high and mighty, gather all the Gai-sensei courage to confess to her and all she does is laugh merrily at you and throw a half-smile back. Two months of trying to get her attention were enough to piss me off, and so I never let myself show that weak, pathetic side of me again. You could say I'm a McGuiver+Chuck Norris hybrid, just with a bit of a Jackie-Chan "I do all my own stunts" type.
If you didn't make any sense of that, then there's still hope for you.
You're probably on the right track for the first case, IMHO. What you should have done is take the first step, ignore her, and then the third step that you didn't take: REPEAT. Girls are pretty damned intrigued by mixed signals. ;)
Try it out, and see if it works. And if it does.....I hope you know when to turn off the "mixed signals" and go for it for real. ;)
aki/kaze/shi
2007-09-16, 12:45
You sound like a real "heart-breaker."
That and that's more than "we" need to know! :P J/K :)
Eh he he he.^^' Well, one guy wanted to give me a rose, and I got sick, and went home before he could give it. Then everyone saw it and laughed at him. Then when I came back, people were crowding me, and he was trying to explain, but I sorta walked away not caring and everyone laughed more. So he burnt it.^^'
Ehee, it's OK. I usually say more than I need to.^^'
Eh he he he.^^' Well, one guy wanted to give me a rose, and I got sick, and went home before he could give it. Then everyone saw it and laughed at him. Then when I came back, people were crowding me, and he was trying to explain, but I sorta walked away not caring and everyone laughed more. So he burnt it.^^'
Ehee, it's OK. I usually say more than I need to.^^'
Your schoolmates sound immature.
aki/kaze/shi
2007-09-16, 12:58
Your schoolmates sound immature.
Un, they are.^^' And they say I'm worse. I just act younger. I didn't really care, and I didn't like being questioned since I wasn't there. I'm also the shy person. But my attitude is cold. But I walked away because I could care less. He didn't seem pestered by it at least, but I think he was more worried I would never talk to him again. I told him it was fine later, and it didn't bother me. Just as long as he doesn't do it this year again. -_-# That'll make bout three years he's tried giving me presents. I don't want any of it. I was hoping he'd go for someone else. Maybe I'm immature? It doesn't bother me if I am.^^'
2H-Dragon
2007-09-17, 05:45
Ah dating. Dunno If I posted here before, but here's the situation I'm in now. Getting a girlfriend is easy. Getting one you like is another. I'm not going in the cesspool called love, since I only think it happens after effort and staying together for a long time. Just going on dates is boring am past that stage also sex is overrated.
Yes I do want a girlfriend. For various reasons, mainly because I need someone to talk to and also have physical affection for. Kinda like a best friend you can like in the love love kinda way. Problem; my standards seem to be too high and I don't feel like lowering it any time soon. Prob get a hot girl while exiting, it has a high value of been there done that feel. Interest don't coincide and so no matter how fun at first it gets boring real fast. Get an average looking girl with personality. Relation lasts longer, but then you look at other girls you feel bad for comparing her to others. And it ends in the meh kinda way leaving you feeling guilty. You also have a feeling of I can stay with her for life, but she isn't that special tbh so you bail out. Oh and most of the time lacks confidence and gets jealous real fast about female friends.
That and I tend to dislike clingy girls. Sometimes I just want to stay home alone and game and whatnot. Or hang out with friends. Most girls don't seem to understand that.
Also the perfect ones have freaking boyfriends and I am not going to break up a relationship just to try and see if she's the one.
So all I can do and w8 till I'm in that age group where everyone is mature and the average ones start to look nicer. The hot ones start to get less bitchy and get some common sense.
I know I am stereotyping a lot, but hey I haven't seen much exceptions.
edit: Hmm after rereading it. I feel stupid. Meh what I wrote is kinda bs. What I'm trying to say. It's hard to find a girl you really really like.
anti-random
2007-09-17, 17:34
Thats so true 2H-Dragon, guys can really associate with that (well I can).
HOLY CRAP i just realized i havent had a gf since i was in the 5th grd im in the 12th grd btw i dont kno maybe girls dont like me cuz i hang out with an odd group of ppl who r really kool friends but my friends alsop havent had gf in a long time or never had one maybe where just uncool...idk but i tried asking out this girl who was in my class and she said get out of my face freak so i guess im destined to be alone.for now any way:(
TakutoKun
2007-09-17, 22:04
HOLY CRAP i just realized i havent had a gf since i was in the 5th grd im in the 12th grd btw i dont kno maybe girls dont like me cuz i hang out with an odd group of ppl who r really kool friends but my friends alsop havent had gf in a long time or never had one maybe where just uncool...idk but i tried asking out this girl who was in my class and she said get out of my face freak so i guess im destined to be alone.for now any way:(
Take your time - you are still young. Just focus on your career path and setting up your life for the future. Things will fall in place.
Dkong1026
2007-09-18, 21:04
2H Dragon- so true. so. true.
anti-random
2007-09-19, 23:51
Take your time - you are still young. Just focus on your career path and setting up your life for the future. Things will fall in place.
That's some good advice, I'll take it on board
It's seriously something to consider, I wish i'd been more serious in my studies and less about girls back in HS. >.> I guess I just went along with the social concept of having a Girlfriend, though I realize now it was for the worst. =/
Nintendo
2007-09-20, 00:57
learn it young before your 24 questioning if you made a wise choice in lifestyle.
HOLY CRAP i just realized i havent had a gf since i was in the 5th grd im in the 12th grd btw i dont kno maybe girls dont like me cuz i hang out with an odd group of ppl who r really kool friends but my friends alsop havent had gf in a long time or never had one maybe where just uncool...idk but i tried asking out this girl who was in my class and she said get out of my face freak so i guess im destined to be alone.for now any way:(
Unless you're planning to fail, senior year is probably the worst to be looking for fresh relationships. Well, also, I guess, unless you're looking for a quick fix before your run your ass off to college.
I met my girlfriend in 12th grade. First thing she said to me the night I met yer (before we started dating) was "hey my friend needs a date to the prom." So I said "it's not worth going to if it's not with you"... SMOOTH AMIRITE?
Anyways, about that senior year thing, now we don't go to the same college... hell, I happened to move this summer, and now I live a few thousand miles away from her (but still go to college about 200 miles away). Still going strong though.
Best advice I can give is to be her friend before being her boyfriend. You can tell if someone's in love with you. My style has never been to explore the "likers". Go for the lovers. If she really likes you, you should be able to tell. If it's just a crush, well, usually it's not worth it.
woah thx for the advice ppl =)
So I said "it's not worth going to if it's not with you"... SMOOTH AMIRITE?
You're good.
Common advice for the males that I'll repeat here: no matter how hot you think your girlfriend is now, in two years (maximum) you won't see her that way. It's just natural instinct, it probably impacts 99% of all males. Don't base things off of appearence alone, personality is important. But don't downplay the importance of appearence, either. If your girlfriend is frumpy to you, you'll struggle a lot over feelings of physical attraction to other girls who are much more attractive to you.
A relationshp is work. It's trust, knowing when to give and when to take, being able to communicate, and second-guessing yourself. If you can pull it off properly, it won't feel like you're working hard or suffering, and others will likely tell you that it seems so wonderful and effortless. Don't be fooled if you see such relationships yourself. Fairy tale relationships do exist, but those stories never detail what's involved in "happily ever after." Now you know.
women usually gets prettier as they grow older (until wrinkles and love handles start popping out)
women usually gets prettier as they grow older (until wrinkles and love handles start popping out)
The grow prettier thing lasts for about 10 years... starting when they're 10. lols!
women usually gets prettier as they grow older (until wrinkles and love handles start popping out)
Oh dear lord, the same thing happens to men! Only what, they get beer guts...
The grow prettier thing lasts for about 10 years... starting when they're 10. lols!
hmmm, that's interesting, so either you're going to stop dating when you hit 20...or you'll just keep pursuing younger and younger women? Creepy! *runs away* So I hit the 21 mark...meaning I'm no longer getting prettier? :p
You guys crack me up!
deathreape98
2007-09-20, 23:23
Good job on that.
Still, I hope it doesn't turn out to be like...
THIS! (http://www.kidoutenshi.net/random/burned.jpg)
I Loled so hard.
omg...
an attempt was just made at my life....
death from loling too damn hard :P
Right now, I like someone, but I can't get the courage to say something.
It's a problem since he's a bit older than me.. I feel sort of naive next to him..
Everyone, do your best! Love is a battlefield.
Some guys aren't aggressive, no matter how the masses are. You need to take the first step. If you can't say it to him in person, get his msn, aim, myspace, email, etc. and ask him out over that. After confessing, even if over the internet, it'll become alot easier to say it.
Darkman.exe213
2007-09-30, 23:30
Hey guys, I'm looking for some advice. I really like someone, and I'm really good friends with her. Problem is, I'm not sure if she likes me back. I'm afraid that if I confessed to her and she rejected me, our friendship would be ruined. Any advice?:(
anti-random
2007-10-01, 00:51
Hey, its the same problem I have. Sheesh, it sure is a small world. I guess what I am doing is passing some time and see what the future holds. But if nothing changes by January, I am just going to ask her.
It may be awkward for a little while, but it really depends on how you ask. I was friends with one girl that I asked out. There was nothing overly dramatic about it, or even very straight-forward - I just asked if she'd be free to do lunch some time, and named a time (aggressive dating advice: don't name a time, because it makes it easier for the girl to back out). She said she was busy with friends, so I named another time, and she said she was busy again. I wasn't very aggressive about it, and took the hint. It may have been my imagination, but she avoided me for about two or three months after that, before being friendly towards me again.
If you're very direct, I'd imagine that you risk having an awkward situation. That'd equate to ruining your friendship, or diminishing it. If you're already close friends with her, asking her to lunch might not be seen as a big deal. If you don't want to be overly aggressive, make it simple - maybe tell her that you've been feeling closer to her lately, and were wondering if she felt the same (that may still be too "heavy" depending on how close you are to her - but it also may not be heavy enough). Don't freak her out by telling her that for the past X months you couldn't stop thinking about her and want to be "the one" for her, unless she'd get into that. You know best what she's like and how your relationship dynamics are with her. Whatever you do, be confident in yourself! Lack of confidence will drastically cut any chances of anything happening.
There's also the theory about the "friends box" - it basically states that once you know a girl, you have a certain amount of time before she will permanantly mark you as a friend and never consider dating you. It may hold true for the majority, but you hear of plenty of people who have been friends for a long time and begin dating.
2H-Dragon
2007-10-01, 05:23
There's nothing wrong being in the friend box while she is dating someone else. Just grab your chance when they break up. It isn't really a healthy way to start a relationship, but hey a man gotta do what a man gotta do. xD
Personally dating a close friends is a definite no in my book. Normal friends(gah don't really know a good word for it)/half-friends are okay and easy targets. :D
Ledgem nailed it I think. Since I don't really know much about dating friends, but in the end how much does that friendship mean to you? While I think love is overrated, friendship is important. I can still easily risk if I ever fell in love.(I never fell in love, so yeah I would do everything in my power to keep it.) If I fail I get hit hard, but rather get over it fast then slow.
Seems you speak about really like. How important is it to you to have relationship with that girl? Personally I have more fun with girls if they are just my friends then when they are my girlfriend.
On an other note I'm really now seeing my tastes are into older women. -.-""" With older I mean like like 3 to 5 years older. It's kinda a bitch. While I have the confidence in getting a girl my age, but an older girl. Scares meh. :<
Darkman.exe213
2007-10-04, 00:42
Guess I should've said something earlier, but I don't get to see the person I like very often, either.(we don't go to the same school) :( I usually get to see her once every few weeks, though I can keep in touch with her via e-mail. Thanks for the help so far, though.
ohitislove
2007-10-04, 14:28
I'm sure it will get easier!
Hey thank you all for the advice b4 but i have a new problem concerening this Okay u see ive been friends with this girl i've kno since 8th grd and me and her r really good friends and shes a pretty kool me and her always study together and talk together and take the bus..well u get the point so i was wondering if i should ask her out? or would it just kill r long friendship?
It could go either way.
Sorry, there's really no such thing as a definitive answer.
symbiotes_021
2007-10-04, 21:33
Yeah, I agree with raikage on this matter.
But you wouldn't know until you try, right?
Hey thank you all for the advice b4 but i have a new problem concerening this Okay u see ive been friends with this girl i've kno since 8th grd and me and her r really good friends and shes a pretty kool me and her always study together and talk together and take the bus..well u get the point so i was wondering if i should ask her out? or would it just kill r long friendship?
I don't really understand why you would "kill [your] long friendship." Even if there is no hope, is the friendship not worth enough to stick around for? Even if I couldn't have someone in a romantic way, just being near them would be enough, I think it proves that you really care for them. But like the others say, if you gauge her interest to be similar to yours, then you should try asking her out.
It may be awkward for a little while, but it really depends on how you ask. I was friends with one girl that I asked out. There was nothing overly dramatic about it, or even very straight-forward - I just asked if she'd be free to do lunch some time, and named a time (aggressive dating advice: don't name a time, because it makes it easier for the girl to back out). She said she was busy with friends, so I named another time, and she said she was busy again. I wasn't very aggressive about it, and took the hint. It may have been my imagination, but she avoided me for about two or three months after that, before being friendly towards me again.
Personally...I would say you saved yourself time. A girl like that...really the only word I can think about is ***** to describe it. She doesn't tell you straight out then proceeds to ignore you because of it. I would say you got the better end of the deal out of it.
Really the best advice to give is, Give it your best shot and Dont waste anymore time after. They are not worth it then. If they still want to be friends, that is golden. But don't bother trying again or anything.
If you like someone, Go for it. Its selfish to yourself and her. Because all your doing is lieing about it to both of you. And here is the good side...even if you ask a friend out and she says no. If she decides to ignore you, cold shoulder...and not actually just tell you. Pretty much you just found out she is a ***** right off the bat and didn't even have to waste too much time to do it. If she still cherishs you...Then you found a real friend for sure.
Dating seems like a complicated thing... especially when you're more of a reserved type of person. It's even more complicated when your world gets turned upside down because you fell for a person of the same sex >___<
You just can't do what you would do when you like a girl... except observing and trying to become friends little by little and finding out what and how *sigh*
Personally...I would say you saved yourself time. A girl like that...really the only word I can think about is ***** to describe it. She doesn't tell you straight out then proceeds to ignore you because of it. I would say you got the better end of the deal out of it.
I discovered later that I saved myself a whole lot more than that, but I won't mention it here. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. For one, if it was her first time being asked out (which is possible) then she may not have known how to react. That may explain her ignoring me (which, admittedly, may have also been unintentional/coincidence, but I strongly doubt it). Secondly, she was of Asian background. From a cultural standpoint, Asians (and many other "minority cultures") communicate indirectly. It links into aspects of their culture, but the general idea is saving face and not offending the other person. If a girl flat-out tells you "no, I don't want to date you" then on one hand, you do have closure... but on the other hand, that hurts. At least if there's an indirect response, you're free to pick up on the message yourself, and for some reason, it's less painful than being told directly.
Really the best advice to give is, Give it your best shot and Dont waste anymore time after. They are not worth it then. If they still want to be friends, that is golden. But don't bother trying again or anything.
It depends on the scenario; there are plenty of real-life love stories where persistence was the factor that won a woman/man's heart. If it really matters to you, keep trying. Just don't be discouraged by failed efforts, or by giving up entirely. And don't become stalkerish over it.
If you like someone, Go for it. Its selfish to yourself and her. Because all your doing is lieing about it to both of you. And here is the good side...even if you ask a friend out and she says no. If she decides to ignore you, cold shoulder...and not actually just tell you. Pretty much you just found out she is a ***** right off the bat and didn't even have to waste too much time to do it. If she still cherishs you...Then you found a real friend for sure.
I agree that you should just go for it anyway. Asking someone out is a real thrill. If it's difficult for you to do (sure was for me) then know that it does get easier with each successive time you do it, but not by too much. The more confident you are in yourself, the easier it is, for sure.
If a girl ignores you as a result, I wouldn't consider it to mean that she's a bad person. We'd need a girl's opinion on this here, but I'd imagine that they'd be ignoring out of feeling awkward or perhaps even bad/guilty about having rejected you. It could also mean that they were weirded out by you (my sister has had an experience like that and never wanted to see the guy again), but presuming that you're a fine person and all that, I'd presume it's more along the lines of being unsure of how to act, being unsure of what your inner feelings are at having been rejected, or perhaps even just trying to sort out her own feelings. Don't go assuming the worst :)
Dating seems like a complicated thing... especially when you're more of a reserved type of person. It's even more complicated when your world gets turned upside down because you fell for a person of the same sex >___<
You just can't do what you would do when you like a girl... except observing and trying to become friends little by little and finding out what and how *sigh*
I always felt a bit of pity for homosexuals, actually. They'd be attracted to other people in much the same way that heterosexuals, but there's a lot more "noise" - in addition to wondering if they can get the other person to like them and whether the relationship would work out, they have to wonder if the person they like is also a homosexual. I don't know if they can tell easily, but it certainly can't be as easy as telling a male from a female.
Finding out isn't easy. Ok, you've those where you've to be blind not to notice, but most of them just act like any straight guy. And finding out about someone is a delicate venture where no errors are allowed.
At least it's the case for me... Even if it's in vain, staying friends with that person is still more valuable than creating a hostile situation because of it.
And realizing and accepting what you are >____<
KyuubiRocks
2007-10-24, 01:37
In my life experiences..being friends with an ex is pretty much a hard thing...'once someone new steps into yours or your ex's life, its not easy for that person to see their partner with the someone you once dated
so eventually the two ex's just end up drifting apart and on occasions they do bump into each other..it's usually just a hi , bye interaction like saying hi to just a familiar face......
Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?
That's what i thought.
I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.
I'm the happiest guy alive.
Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.
Yes, all the time. Like I'm up against the world. I remember during my high school prom when I asked out a gorgeous girl and she said "yes". I honestly thought she was going to say "no", because she was like "Well, I've thought about it and..." I was preparing for the decline, but things worked out.
ChibiMenos
2007-11-02, 09:32
If a girl ignores you as a result, I wouldn't consider it to mean that she's a bad person. We'd need a girl's opinion on this here, but I'd imagine that they'd be ignoring out of feeling awkward or perhaps even bad/guilty about having rejected you. It could also mean that they were weirded out by you (my sister has had an experience like that and never wanted to see the guy again), but presuming that you're a fine person and all that, I'd presume it's more along the lines of being unsure of how to act, being unsure of what your inner feelings are at having been rejected, or perhaps even just trying to sort out her own feelings. Don't go assuming the worst :)
That sounds about right to me--not that I can speak for all girls, but for me, rejecting someone else has always been much worse that being rejected myself. If I get rejected, I can get over it pretty easily (even if getting over it often involves several hours of chick flicks and sugary foods). On the other hand, if I'm the one doing the rejecting, I tend to start worrying about the guy's feelings, or thinking that he might try again, and get very shy and nervous around him. It usually ends up being easiest for me to avoid him altogether, or to only interact with him in the context of work or classes. There was this one guy who asked me to a dance our church was putting on when I was 14--even though I didn't like him at all, I felt really bad about turning him down, and stayed away from him for about a year. (Incidentally, we ended up being really good friends eventually, and even dated for a couple of months before I left for college in the middle of August. First impressions aren't everything, I guess.)
Anyway, I guess the whole avoidance thing is part of how girls are much less direct with communication than guys; we'll go out of our way to avoid causing trouble or embarrasment for anyone (at least, trouble as we percieve it), and often won't fully explain ourselves. I guess in the end that can lead to even more hurt feelings, though.
Huh, well, I'm a girl and I've never had any problem with turning a guy down. If I know I don't feel the same way, then by saying 'no', you're saving him a lot of heartache. He wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't really care about him the same way he feels about her, and by letting him know that this particular girl is off-limits, then he can stop limiting himself to one and open himself up to more possibilities that are assuredly better for him. And the avoidance thing? I find that cowardly and a guy who usually has the balls to tell me he likes me usually is someone that I'm friends with and would never want to ruin a friendship with. So, kindly turn them away, brutally if they're too persistent, but don't insult him by ignoring or avoiding, because he worked hard to let you know how much he likes you.
The only kind of guys that I will avoid at all costs are the ones I let too close as a friend or other and they turn around and backstab you and then expect you to welcome them with open arms later. Same thing goes for ex-boyfriends, I generally stay friends with them after, but the unlucky one who does the unforgivable forever gets written off my radar. :p Happily though now, I'm with someone I've been dating for 2 years now, so I haven't had any recent love trouble ;)
ChibiMenos
2007-11-02, 13:54
Well, I never said that the way I handle things is at all good, just that that's how it is for me. :P And I know a couple of girls who have similar reactions...though in one case at least, running away from all males is certainly justifiable... (Not going to get into that here, though.) Maybe it comes from a lack of experience, or the fact that my guy friends aren't usually the sort who'd even think of asking me out--I'm more like an extra little sister. The inner workings of the male brain are still a mystery to me...
Black_Rose
2007-11-02, 19:53
Dudes..... that never happened to me before besides dont think like that.
Id be happy which also proves that your in the same league as him/her
Do positive thoughts and carry on with your life. If they like you then definately why not?
Besides pople come and go in yur life any way Married or not.And it really doesnt matter about your look when if it was your personality that atracted Him/Her......
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-03, 16:42
I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I still like someone that I don't see very often, but I can't keep in touch with her, either. I recently found her MySpace by accident(yeah, lots of stuff happened there...), but I don't know if I should talk to her via MySpace.(remember, she doesn't know I found her MySpace) Any suggestions?
My love life is a wreck right now, I know.:uhoh:
Li Jianliang
2007-11-03, 19:49
Just talk. Online communication is lot easier than real life and it's totally up to the recipient to interpret the tone of the message.
I wonder what having an ex feels like. I've been dating for over 3.5 years with my first love and we're still together, despite living on opposite sides of the coast and in different countries (US + Canada). The biggest difficulty so far has been the time zone difference (3 hours).
I hear other people saying that one should get out and date around to experience various people from all walks of life, but I don't know if that's a good idea for me...
I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I still like someone that I don't see very often, but I can't keep in touch with her, either. I recently found her MySpace by accident(yeah, lots of stuff happened there...), but I don't know if I should talk to her via MySpace.(remember, she doesn't know I found her MySpace) Any suggestions?
My love life is a wreck right now, I know.:uhoh:
Sounds like we're in the same boat. From my experience, I don't know if I would contact the person that way. They might take it the wrong way or something. I guess if the person knows you a little then it's okay.
ChibiMenos
2007-11-04, 05:32
So, here's a question for you peoples with more understanding of guys than me. (I have three brothers, and yet I fail...)
There's this guy--he's in my DnD group, we like the same anime, we're both nuts about Firefly/Serenity, he's smart and hilariously funny... needless to say, we get along quite well. He's been really nice, too, offering me rides to and from Quark events (the scifi-fantasy-gaming-anime club at our school), and inviting me to go trick or treating with him... heh, that was fun, and we took along his niece so we wouldn't get quite so funny looks from the people handing out candy. XD I've thought a couple of times about asking him him out (because I prefer to do that rather than wait around for the guy to ask, it's more fair anyway). Just to a movie or something. But here's my problem: I'm not sure what he thinks about me--whether he only sees me as a friend. Sometimes I'm sure he doesn't, but then he'll do something like try and get me hooked on Guitar Hero (it worked, btw)...which seems like more of a just wants to be friends thing to me. Anyway, I definitely don't want to scare him off or anything... <.< So, any advice on what to look for while I'm trying to figure this out?
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-04, 10:51
Sounds like we're in the same boat. From my experience, I don't know if I would contact the person that way. They might take it the wrong way or something. I guess if the person knows you a little then it's okay.
She and I are good friends. Thanks for the advice, guys. :)
So, here's a question for you peoples with more understanding of guys than me. (I have three brothers, and yet I fail...)
There's this guy--he's in my DnD group, we like the same anime, we're both nuts about Firefly/Serenity, he's smart and hilariously funny... needless to say, we get along quite well. He's been really nice, too, offering me rides to and from Quark events (the scifi-fantasy-gaming-anime club at our school), and inviting me to go trick or treating with him... heh, that was fun, and we took along his niece so we wouldn't get quite so funny looks from the people handing out candy. XD I've thought a couple of times about asking him him out (because I prefer to do that rather than wait around for the guy to ask, it's more fair anyway). Just to a movie or something. But here's my problem: I'm not sure what he thinks about me--whether he only sees me as a friend. Sometimes I'm sure he doesn't, but then he'll do something like try and get me hooked on Guitar Hero (it worked, btw)...which seems like more of a just wants to be friends thing to me. Anyway, I definitely don't want to scare him off or anything... <.< So, any advice on what to look for while I'm trying to figure this out?
I'd say just ask him out to a movie or something. Even if he doesn't like you back, you could say you're asking him out as a friend.
But then again, I don't know much about dating, so you might want a second opinion on the matter.
So, here's a question for you peoples with more understanding of guys than me. (I have three brothers, and yet I fail...)
There's this guy--he's in my DnD group, we like the same anime, we're both nuts about Firefly/Serenity, he's smart and hilariously funny... needless to say, we get along quite well. He's been really nice, too, offering me rides to and from Quark events (the scifi-fantasy-gaming-anime club at our school), and inviting me to go trick or treating with him... heh, that was fun, and we took along his niece so we wouldn't get quite so funny looks from the people handing out candy. XD I've thought a couple of times about asking him him out (because I prefer to do that rather than wait around for the guy to ask, it's more fair anyway). Just to a movie or something. But here's my problem: I'm not sure what he thinks about me--whether he only sees me as a friend. Sometimes I'm sure he doesn't, but then he'll do something like try and get me hooked on Guitar Hero (it worked, btw)...which seems like more of a just wants to be friends thing to me. Anyway, I definitely don't want to scare him off or anything... <.< So, any advice on what to look for while I'm trying to figure this out?
Well, a lot of the stuff you're describing sounds like it could go either way: either he just wants to be friends, or he really is wanting something more. When he does said activities with you, is it just the two of you most of the time, or does he invite others? Is he similarly courteous with other girls when giving rides, or just with you? Guys are typically easy to read when it comes to figuring out if they like you or not, just check out his body signals. When you sit down, how close do you sit? When you walk together, how close does he walk to you? Do you ever notice him looking at you longer than usual, and when you turn your head, does he suddenly whip his head back and pretend he wasn't looking? It won't hurt to ask him out, a lot of guys these days find it refreshing to have a girl who makes the first move, especially one who seems cool and plays video games, the perfect girlfriend material! And if you really do think he likes you, then go ahead and ask him what he thinks about you as "more than just a friend" and gauge his reaction. If it's no, then that's fine, you didn't do anything embarassing that would ruin a friendship, if it's a yes, then you'll congratulate yourself for initiating the relationship.
ChibiMenos
2007-11-04, 21:04
Well, a lot of the stuff you're describing sounds like it could go either way: either he just wants to be friends, or he really is wanting something more. When he does said activities with you, is it just the two of you most of the time, or does he invite others? Is he similarly courteous with other girls when giving rides, or just with you? Guys are typically easy to read when it comes to figuring out if they like you or not, just check out his body signals. When you sit down, how close do you sit? When you walk together, how close does he walk to you? Do you ever notice him looking at you longer than usual, and when you turn your head, does he suddenly whip his head back and pretend he wasn't looking? It won't hurt to ask him out, a lot of guys these days find it refreshing to have a girl who makes the first move, especially one who seems cool and plays video games, the perfect girlfriend material! And if you really do think he likes you, then go ahead and ask him what he thinks about you as "more than just a friend" and gauge his reaction. If it's no, then that's fine, you didn't do anything embarassing that would ruin a friendship, if it's a yes, then you'll congratulate yourself for initiating the relationship.
Yeah, usually it's just the two of us, except for stuff where it has to be a group, like DnD. And he actually doesn't seem to pay much attention to other girls. He did say something odd the other night... something about being courteous being a new thing for him? Not sure what he meant by that, though. He's been opening doors and stuff for me, except when I make it to the door first, so maybe that's what he meant.
But on Halloween after we finished trick or treating we rented a movie and went back to my grandma's house (where I am staying for school) to watch it. My cousin Chris was there, and while I was getting the popcorn and stuff ready, they were talking...Chris was saying something about how he somehow only attracts the really crazy girls, then Jon said that he didn't seem to attract anyone at all...a little bit later he added that he didn't really care because he wasn't looking for anything like that right now. Which makes me think "just friends" again.
Then again, when we grabbed dinner at Panda Express for dinner last night, he asked if it was okay for him to pay...he knows how independant I am, lol. I told him it was fine, on the condition that I got to pay next time. He seemed happy about that....but if he just cared about the money, he could easily have said nothing and I would have bought my own dinner to begin with.
Maybe he's just as confused as I am.:p
I'm gonna try asking him out... I think I'll check and see if there are any good movies showing around here. That's always the least-scary option for me... "hey, have you seen this movie, I heard it was really good"...heh.
Loli Gurl
2007-11-18, 20:56
I hope everything works out for you ChibiMenos.:D
I like this boy that's in my class. I don't know if he likes me or not. He sits near me in class. Sometimes before the bell rings he stand up and waits facing in my direction. And in the corner of my eye I see him looking at me. I'm too quiet and shy to talk to him. How do I start talking to him?
Tri-ring
2007-11-18, 21:05
I hope everything works out for you ChibiMenos.:D
I like this boy that's in my class. I don't know if he likes me or not. He sits near me in class. Sometimes before the bell rings he stand up and waits facing in my direction. And in the corner of my eye I see him looking at me. I'm too quiet and shy to talk to him. How do I start talking to him?
The oldest trick in the book is to drop a pencil, eraser,etc. for him to pick it up as an excuse to start a conversation.
Not that there is any certainty of him picking up the thing the first place.:heh:
Loli Gurl
2007-11-18, 21:19
Thanks for the advice.:D
Tri-ring
2007-11-18, 22:35
Thanks for the advice.:D
Do I sense a hint of sarcasm in your reply? ;)
There are actually three folds to this trick, one being obvious, creating an excuse but it is also to measure the other party if he is sincere and/or if he is actually taking notice of you.
The last is depending on the other person's intellectuality but if he is, your actually giving him a hinted invitation to him thus if he is interested he is opt to respond. :cool:
ChibiMenos
2007-11-19, 02:55
I hope everything works out for you ChibiMenos.:D
Heh, I'd forgotten about this thread and it hasn't even been that long since I posted.:heh:
Things are going very well so far... I did end up actually asking him directly whether he just liked me as a friend or what... luckily it turned out he feels the same way I do. So we've been spending a lot of time together lately...he's such a fun guy.:)
Of course, he's also managed to get me into playing World of Warcraft... <.< Oh well, I guess that was a risk I decided to take....:p
^ That was kind of ovbious, as a guy I can say, about that he wanted to be more than friends with you :D.
As a compliment I want to say that it can't get much awesomer than playing video games with your girlfriend. It is like combining the pleasant with... pleasant.
I, on the other hand am failing terribly i this field :D. I am terribly picky. REALLY REALLY picky. I might like one girl out of... a hundred? And I don't even mean spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you like. And if I do find one she is pretty much ages out of my league, or I just get really anti-social around her.
Miko Miko
2007-11-19, 16:19
There is a guy I REALLY like, have done for about 5 or 6 weeks now. But He is ALL i think about. He keeps looking at me and smiling. Were not in many classes together but when we are I try to talk to him. I feel so shy though >_<
Am I Normal? :heh:
Any advice?
Tri-ring
2007-11-19, 17:52
There is a guy I REALLY like, have done for about 5 or 6 weeks now. But He is ALL i think about. He keeps looking at me and smiling. Were not in many classes together but when we are I try to talk to him. I feel so shy though >_<
Am I Normal? :heh:
Any advice?
Don't worry you're normal, it is a normal response from a person of your age in puberty.
You have to know why you react that way into remedy the situation.
What will you do/How would you feel, if he responds negatively?
What will you do/How would you feel, if the other peers responds negatively?
Nine of ten nothing will change.
Do you feel better?
Absolutely nothing will change if you do not stir up some courage but there is a 10 percent possibility that something will change if you do, which path you take is totally up to you.:cool:
White_Summer
2007-11-21, 05:08
Hey all!
This will be my first thread that I have created and I thought that I should based it on one of the bigger problems currently going on in my life. Currently I am single however I found a girl that I like. :) I am Korean and I learned English after coming to California and the girl I have come to like is from Taiwan and her English is not very good. She's been in America for less than a year. I thought we started on good terms and I built up the courage to confess and asked if we could date. She did not accept nor reject and instead stated that it's a difficult question to answer. We still continue to talk and are on good terms (I Think) however I'm getting the feeling that she wants to be friends more than boyfriend/girlfriend. I like her alot but I'm unsure on how to change her view from being a friend to a boyfriend does anybody have some advice they can offer?
Hey all!
This will be my first thread that I have created and I thought that I should based it on one of the bigger problems currently going on in my life. Currently I am single however I found a girl that I like. :) I am Korean and I learned English after coming to California and the girl I have come to like is from Taiwan and her English is not very good. She's been in America for less than a year. I thought we started on good terms and I built up the courage to confess and asked if we could date. She did not accept nor reject and instead stated that it's a difficult question to answer. We still continue to talk and are on good terms (I Think) however I'm getting the feeling that she wants to be friends more than boyfriend/girlfriend. I like her alot but I'm unsure on how to change her view from being a friend to a boyfriend does anybody have some advice they can offer?
Firstoff: you cannot change a person's view about being friends or more, that is a decision that only he/she can make. From what you've described, I agree that she sounds like she only wants to be friends for now, and I recommend that you respect that for the time being. Depending on how much you like this girl, if you are willing to wait for her to come around to your affections, then let her know that it's ok to just be friends, but that you want more and that you're willing to wait patiently. Not only will this assure her, but it will let her be friends w/ you without worrying that you'll try pushing things. Being her friend for now will also allow you to observe her closely: her likes and dislikes, what her family is like, etc. all important in deciding if you are compatible or not. Just be her friend, and at times show her how much of a catch you are by demonstrating how thoughtful and caring you can be at times. I'm sure if you are perfect for one another, then she will realize how wonderful you are; the key is to just be patient.
Hotaru Suzume
2007-11-21, 15:32
Hey all!
This will be my first thread that I have created and I thought that I should based it on one of the bigger problems currently going on in my life. Currently I am single however I found a girl that I like. :) I am Korean and I learned English after coming to California and the girl I have come to like is from Taiwan and her English is not very good. She's been in America for less than a year. I thought we started on good terms and I built up the courage to confess and asked if we could date. She did not accept nor reject and instead stated that it's a difficult question to answer. We still continue to talk and are on good terms (I Think) however I'm getting the feeling that she wants to be friends more than boyfriend/girlfriend. I like her alot but I'm unsure on how to change her view from being a friend to a boyfriend does anybody have some advice they can offer?
Looks like your thread got merged with this one.
I think it'd be best stay friends for a while (around 6 months to a year? I don't exactly know), get to know a lot about each other first, earn her trust and all that stuff... Ask again later, I say.
:) Hope that helps.
Edit: Oh yes, there is always the chance that she might not be heterosexual... unless you've ascertained that she is, of course. :0
I think it'd be best stay friends for a while (around 6 months to a year? I don't exactly know), get to know a lot about each other first, earn her trust and all that stuff... Ask again later, I say.
:) Hope that helps.
There is a sort of theory among males which states that once you meet a girl, you have a limited period of time before you are essentially tossed into the "friends box." In other words, once the period of time is up, the girl will only ever see you as a friend. You won't have a very good chance, if any chance at all, of ever being seen as more than that. The period of time depends on the girl and your circumstances.
There are exceptions, of course. However, I have asked a few girls (not a statistically relevant number for this to apply to most girls for certain) and they stated that it's more or less true - once they know you well enough, they make a decision in their mind and either sort you into an interest that could be elevated, or just friends.
It doesn't mean that you should give up on relationship hopes if you've known a girl for a long time. Just be aware of it.
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-21, 22:36
Me again, this time I just have a basic question. Is there a way to tell if a girl actually likes you as more than a friend? Thanks.
There is a sort of theory among males which states that once you meet a girl, you have a limited period of time before you are essentially tossed into the "friends box." In other words, once the period of time is up, the girl will only ever see you as a friend. You won't have a very good chance, if any chance at all, of ever being seen as more than that. The period of time depends on the girl and your circumstances.
There are exceptions, of course. However, I have asked a few girls (not a statistically relevant number for this to apply to most girls for certain) and they stated that it's more or less true - once they know you well enough, they make a decision in their mind and either sort you into an interest that could be elevated, or just friends.
It doesn't mean that you should give up on relationship hopes if you've known a girl for a long time. Just be aware of it.
I think it's also a cultural thing. My Japanese uncles tell me that relationships in Japan usually start off as friendship. The girl and boy hang around for a while, become good friends, and eventually become a couple. I was completely surprised to hear this at first, as it was completely contrary to prevailing American attitudes, but I feel like that the Japanese way makes more sense.
Tri-ring
2007-11-22, 02:58
I think it's also a cultural thing. My Japanese uncles tell me that relationships in Japan usually start off as friendship. The girl and boy hang around for a while, become good friends, and eventually become a couple. I was completely surprised to hear this at first, as it was completely contrary to prevailing American attitudes, but I feel like that the Japanese way makes more sense.
And then there is the freakin phrase "いいお友達でいましょうね"(Let's be good friends) as a response from a girl when you ask her to become steady with you. Which is a nice way in replying, I have no interest in dating you. :heh:
White_Summer
2007-11-22, 05:30
Thanks for the advice,
I find that Fome's advice rings true but in most cases there kinda needs to be at least some physical attraction between the two people. But it also depends on the people's personality themselves of how some people get together.
But in Japan do people really say that phrase? " iiotomodachi..." I have to admit, it sounds lot better than a rejection along the lines of "I'm not interested, please leave me alone". At least you can still talk to that person. But still a rejection is still a rejection...
Tri-ring
2007-11-22, 06:31
Thanks for the advice,
I find that Fome's advice rings true but in most cases there kinda needs to be at least some physical attraction between the two people. But it also depends on the people's personality themselves of how some people get together.
But in Japan do people really say that phrase? " iiotomodachi..." I have to admit, it sounds lot better than a rejection along the lines of "I'm not interested, please leave me alone". At least you can still talk to that person. But still a rejection is still a rejection...
I see you read Japanese, good for you.
Yup, that is the sweet sentence of death in Japan and it is worse than being flatly rejected since you still hold on to that slight sliver of hope that just maybe there is still a chance. (Actually no chance in hell since if there is a chance she will answer, "それでは友達からはじめましょう。" meaning let's start from friends and,,,)
There is another phrase, "私、XXさんみたいな人が好み" meaning "I like a person likeXX." Notice she never saying she like XX in person but placed preposition meaning she has no interest in XX himself.
Man, that line is another heart crusher.:rolleyes:
Good luck to you however it turns out, and remember Bacchus will always will be your friend.:p
Whitemoon648
2007-11-22, 09:26
Hey all!
This will be my first thread that I have created and I thought that I should based it on one of the bigger problems currently going on in my life. Currently I am single however I found a girl that I like. :) I am Korean and I learned English after coming to California and the girl I have come to like is from Taiwan and her English is not very good. She's been in America for less than a year. I thought we started on good terms and I built up the courage to confess and asked if we could date. She did not accept nor reject and instead stated that it's a difficult question to answer. We still continue to talk and are on good terms (I Think) however I'm getting the feeling that she wants to be friends more than boyfriend/girlfriend. I like her alot but I'm unsure on how to change her view from being a friend to a boyfriend does anybody have some advice they can offer?
I would give an advice, but you havent given us much info. Advices can vary based on many things. One example would be the age range.
IF you guys are :
12-14= Stay friends.
15-17 = She isnt a lost cause, just stay friends with her and ask her later. If you guys are really close she will say yes. in another word Just give her some time.
18-25 = She probably means it. Stay good friends and find another good girl friend for yourselve.
This is my personal advice based on age range, but there are many other things that you have to factor in.
Good luck.
Knightmare213
2007-11-22, 09:59
<Post Deleted by Me>
Hotaru Suzume
2007-11-22, 18:55
There is a sort of theory among males which states that once you meet a girl, you have a limited period of time before you are essentially tossed into the "friends box." In other words, once the period of time is up, the girl will only ever see you as a friend. You won't have a very good chance, if any chance at all, of ever being seen as more than that. The period of time depends on the girl and your circumstances.
There are exceptions, of course. However, I have asked a few girls (not a statistically relevant number for this to apply to most girls for certain) and they stated that it's more or less true - once they know you well enough, they make a decision in their mind and either sort you into an interest that could be elevated, or just friends.
It doesn't mean that you should give up on relationship hopes if you've known a girl for a long time. Just be aware of it.
Well that's certainly strange and amusing :) ... ... ... ... Wait, why are you telling me this? I'm not interested in getting into a relationship. I'm in one anyway. :0
Well that's certainly strange and amusing :) ... ... ... ... Wait, why are you telling me this? I'm not interested in getting into a relationship. I'm in one anyway. :0
It wasn't particularly directed at you, it was a response to what you stated. It was meant for anyone reading this thread.
White_Summer
2007-11-23, 04:55
If only everybody was good looking,
You know how in Anime you never see an overweight person... even the people who are antisocial or the outcast look normal and have no features that would merit being made fun of. I wonder what would happen if that applied in the real world as well. Open your school yearbook and you'll see that the percentage of good looking people is really quite low. However I guess it makes people more unique.
I don't really sound like it but I am already a university student so I guess the odds of this one working out are quite low... But I;ll keep at it, maybe luck with take a pleasant twist and I can look back on this and smile or laugh.
If only everybody was good looking,
You know how in Anime you never see an overweight person... even the people who are antisocial or the outcast look normal and have no features that would merit being made fun of.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - we all see different features as being more beautiful. Some people are attracted to others who are a bit plumper, while others get into the anorexic look. There is probably a certain set of features and styles that appeals to a majority, but there is no end-all. It's the same with anime, as well - different artists have different drawing styles, and not everyone finds each style attractive in the same way.
What I'm trying to say is, even if you feel that you're someone who isn't fawned over by members of the opposite (or similar) sex, everyone is different, and there's bound to be someone out there who will find you attractive and love you just the same.
Oh yes, I like slightly chubby people. Much more huggable and cuddly.
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-24, 08:03
*sigh*well im only 16 years old and ive had my heart broken many times just the other week my Best friend Jamie asked me out and well i said yes because we were always spending time with each other and i thought we were perfect for each other things went welll at first but then she started acting funny annd a few weeks later just after her birthday she broke up with me for 2 reasons A) beacause i was moving to fast *all i had done was held her hand we hadnt even kissed except for cheek pek*and B) becasue a guy i thought was a friend told her i only went out with because i wanted sexual relations with her, now i dont even talk to her.....My heart was broken...again and whats worse is that the one girl ive always loved secretly, Jess is in a relationship from which she will never leave... Im 16 my back and chest is covered with acne scars im really skinny i watch Star Trek and Stargate and i absolutley love Anime/manga it seems that the only chance i get at happiness to do with love is from watching love in Anime....I just dont know wether to give up on love forever , ive been hurt that many times
White_Summer
2007-11-24, 08:12
Wow ~~~~
I wish I could help, I know if you start with creme the acne scars can fade and loose it's visibility. But that is besides the point, I believe confidence can probably change everything. I'm no expert and I lack it as well but confidence can change everything. I think that you need to decide which of whom you like more, your best friend or the girl you harbored a crush on and continue to build a relationship from there. I hope won't be the only person who responds to your problem because after reading it again my advice isn't very good....
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-24, 09:17
Wow ~~~~
I wish I could help, I know if you start with creme the acne scars can fade and loose it's visibility. But that is besides the point, I believe confidence can probably change everything. I'm no expert and I lack it as well but confidence can change everything. I think that you need to decide which of whom you like more, your best friend or the girl you harbored a crush on and continue to build a relationship from there. I hope won't be the only person who responds to your problem because after reading it again my advice isn't very good....
thanks a little advice is better than no advice Its been 3 weeks and i still havent even talked to jamie and well jess...shes in love with someone else a guy like me has no chance with a girl but ill keep my info up to date here...oh btw creams didnt work pills kinda did but now my back looks like the moon another turn of for girls....ill try a little confidence but i dont know..thanks again
Hotaru Suzume
2007-11-24, 10:41
It wasn't particularly directed at you, it was a response to what you stated. It was meant for anyone reading this thread.
Ah right, well, your post was much appreciated anyway. :) Seems a valid statement.
thanks a little advice is better than no advice Its been 3 weeks and i still havent even talked to jamie and well jess...shes in love with someone else a guy like me has no chance with a girl but ill keep my info up to date here...oh btw creams didnt work pills kinda did but now my back looks like the moon another turn of for girls....ill try a little confidence but i dont know..thanks again
You shouldn't think like that. :( That kind of thinking can lead to disaster. I'm "talking" to you from experience. I always had my share of "suitors" that I rejected because I was too picky and they were just... :uhoh: in my teenage years. In fact, I still dated guys that were just... :uhoh: (flunking classes, no goals, runaways, etc) No wonder my parents never liked my bfs! :heh: But you know, none of these guys was perfect and the guy with whom I lasted longest in a bf/gf relationship had acne, but he was very sweet and caring, even if he had no specific goals in life in a sense. He drives trucks now and has a wife and three kids, even though he is very plump and still gets acne. :)
In my case, in my early twenties I developed extremely bad acne. The guy that was my hugest crush ever kindly rejected me. (Yes, I actually confessed via love letter. :eyespin:) Didn't last even two months and a half with another guy because he told me I didn't turn him on and then, my self-esteem crashed. I met then the guy I married. He had lots of issues and was extremely cold, volatile, and violent even against his mother. I was extremely afraid of him, but I thought that with my bad acne, no other guy would ever want me and this guy said that he loved me, even if my face looked so horrid along with many parts of my body, including my back, like in your case. (He actually said that too about my body and always pointed my imperfections to hurt me. :upset:)
Anyway, I married this guy due to my low self-esteem issues and this decision only led me to lots and lots of suffering in his hands with violence against me, his mother, and then our daughters. In the end, we split after a death threat because I got even more scared and couldn't handle it any longer.
You're still quite young. You can visit a dermatologist if you think your acne is too severe, but don't let the issue put you down. Plus, not all girls are as shallow as to just reject you due to those issues so don't think you have no chance. You can also try seeing a counselor. Sometimes that helps.
Good luck with trying to gain confidence! :cool:
and B) becasue a guy i thought was a friend told her i only went out with because i wanted sexual relations with her, now i dont even talk to her
I don't know about you, but I would have killed that guy. What a douchbag.
ChibiMenos
2007-11-24, 14:19
*sigh*well im only 16 years old and ive had my heart broken many times just the other week my Best friend Jamie asked me out and well i said yes because we were always spending time with each other and i thought we were perfect for each other things went welll at first but then she started acting funny annd a few weeks later just after her birthday she broke up with me for 2 reasons A) beacause i was moving to fast *all i had done was held her hand we hadnt even kissed except for cheek pek*and B) becasue a guy i thought was a friend told her i only went out with because i wanted sexual relations with her, now i dont even talk to her.....My heart was broken...again and whats worse is that the one girl ive always loved secretly, Jess is in a relationship from which she will never leave... Im 16 my back and chest is covered with acne scars im really skinny i watch Star Trek and Stargate and i absolutley love Anime/manga it seems that the only chance i get at happiness to do with love is from watching love in Anime....I just dont know wether to give up on love forever , ive been hurt that many times
Well, first of all I think 16 might be a little young to be giving up entirely. :) I know at least for me 16 was a very moody time... and if I'd given up on guys at that point, I never would have gotten to date anyone at all. (My first time going out with a guy wasn't even until this spring--and I had to ask him. But that's getting a little off-topic.) Just keep in mind that at this point, as a teenager, it doesn't matter so much--after all, hardly anyone ever ends up marrying the person they were with in high school, thanks to going to different colleges and stuff. So the most important thing to remember is to have fun and practice interacting with girls so that when you get a bit older and if you ever decide you want a permanent relationship, you'll be able to make that one work. :)
Okay, second, I can think of a couple of things you might have done wrong. You didn't give too many details, but here are my theories of why Jamie may have decided she didn't want to go out with you anymore. "Moving too fast" doesn't only extend to physical relations--it can als be a number of other things. Like wanting to see the girl too often, or talking to her every day on the phone, or calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend too early, or asking her too many questions about what she's doing, or being extremely jealous and posessive around other guys. All of these can be overwhelming for a girl, who may feel that you're smothering her and trying to take over her life. If you come across as controlling and demanding, or needy, she's not likely to want to stay with you. (Actually this is true for both guys and girls... imagine a girl who wouldn't give you any time to be yourself.) Also, giving gifts--especially expensive ones--or refusing to let her pay for dates (though you should never expect her to), can be somewhat of a turnoff for some girls...they might feel as if they are not being given respect, or as if you feel you have to "buy" the time you spend with them. Or worse, you might start worrying the same thing (does she really like me or is she just spending time with me because I guy her stuff). And to top it all off, for a guy at your age, spending money on a girl is really not the best idea financially...you should instead be saving for college, or if that is not in your plans, at least save your income towards an apartment when you are old enough to move out. If you must give a girl a gift, keep it small and thoughtful--nothing over $25 is a pretty good rule when you're starting out. (But don't be obviously cheap, either, another problem...)
Also, you say that because a friend told her something (was it true, btw?), you have not been talking to her? Obviously if she asked you out, she felt some attraction towards you--it's just as hard for girls to ask guys out as the other way around, maybe a little harder because the opposite is usually the expectation... she wouldn't do that if she didn't care about you and want to spend time with you, especially since it sounds like you guys were already friends. So WHY in the world are you not talking to her now? Is it embarassment? Put it this way.... do you really want to lose that friendship you have had with her? She has already risked her feelings once to ask you out...she's not going to do it again. She may even think that you are upset with her, despite the fact that it should be the other way around... Girls are complicated creatures, but just put yourself in her shoes and try to figure out what she's thinking right now. It's possible (and I think likely) that even if she doesn't see you as anything like a potential boyfriend right now, she may at least want to still be friends. I would suggest trying to be friends with her again--just keep things moving slow, and don't seem desperate. Maybe if you are having a party or something with a lot of friends, make sure she is invited too. Simple stuff.
As for the acne...that's not such a big deal. It can be a turnoff for some, but there are plenty of girls who have horrible acne--myself included. Bacne and a bit on my face, with some nasty scarring. Luckily I discovered coverup early on, but even though I am a confident person, I still hate being seen in a swimsuit. It seems like acne is a bigger problem for the people who have it, though, than for the people they think will care. After all, most people have acne at one time or another, even if you can't see the results. I personally think that you're pretty lucky to have it only on your back and chest and not your face. (And yes, pills from the dermatologist work wonders--I haven't been taking mine, though, because I really don't care anymore. It's just not a big deal for me after nearly 8 years, ya know?) What's really important isn't the acne or scarring, but whether or not you are fit and healthy, and a kind person. If someone is a bad-tempered blob of lard (not saying you are of course, just as an example) then the most perfect skin in the world can't save him. On the other hand, a nice guy with a good body, who just happens to have some bad acne scars, is much more likely to get the girl. ;)
With the Stargate and Star Trek and anime and manga thing... I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but it sounds as if maybe you are worried that girls won't like you because of your interests? 'Cause that is totally, totally wrong. Some girls might be a little weirded out--but do you really want to be spending time with a girl who can't understand the stuff you like? There are plenty of girls who are into the exact same stuff, and in my experience they will actually tend to gravitate toward guys with similar interests. After all, there's nothing more fun than having that same background so when you're out walking around, and one of you goes "OMG that lady's walking a Tribble!" the other knows exactly what you're talking about, and finds it just as funny as you do.^^
So, don't worry, don't stress out, and don't give up too easily. :) Best of luck to you!
thanks a little advice is better than no advice Its been 3 weeks and i still havent even talked to jamie and well jess...shes in love with someone else a guy like me has no chance with a girl but ill keep my info up to date here...oh btw creams didnt work pills kinda did but now my back looks like the moon another turn of for girls....ill try a little confidence but i dont know..thanks again
So she is dating someone else now? So pretty much she tried to blame you so she could get out of it...without feeling guilty by saying you were moving to fast. Not to mention being stupid enough to listen to someone else without even asking you it seems...and to be pretty dam honest here. A Girl or Guy who gets into a relationship without even considering the thought of sex is probably stupid.
Again I said this a few months to someone else in this thread...normally I just lurk lol. But Im going out a limb here and say you got out earlier from a total *****. From the sound of it...You did nothing wrong and she...really the only word to sum it up is *****. Sounds like she didn't think much of you but you were conveniant at the time for her. Or the fact that she cares more about what someone else says then what you say without even really trying to see if it is true or not. I can not say she is worth the time too.
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-24, 19:07
Thanks for all the advice guys ill try to explain things we began our relationship as would any couple , we sent little love notes to each other via email or draw pictures for each other. i would occasionaly hold her hand or put my arm around and i would tell her how cute/beautful she looked. I would ring her maybe every 4 or 5 days i didnt think that was very often because i didnt want to seem demanding. I did call her my Girl Friend but well she called me her boyfriend. It was near her birthday so i had forked out alot of money to give her a B-day/personal gift from myself it was a necklace that cut deep into my money lol. mabye that might have been a problem spending a bit like that on her.
And what the other guy, Beau said it wasnt true i didnt think of her that way i mean sex hadnt crossed my thought path even once. plus her mum would murder me. I dont know why im not talking to her now but i think it has to do nwith nervousness and just how i feel around her now + she has started spending alot of time with Beau who might i add i hate his guts * to Fome* yes i do believe he is a douchebag and i wanted to kill him i have been in my fair share of fights but im not the strongest chip off the block. neways where was i didnt want to lose my friendship with her at first but now it seems we have just drifted apart.
With my acne aswell lol it isnt ur ordinary every day Acne ill take a pic and post it when my camera's working and ull see how bad it is.
And about my interests i dont know where u are lol but where i am i have to be the only guy who is into that stuff and well while i do consider myself a romantic ** ive done my fair share of love letters and romantic gifts** i dont exactly consider myself the greatest suitor or one that girls would go after. I honestly did all i could to try to make her feel comfortable in our relationship but i guess i failed but who knows maybe with u guys here i might be able to dabble my toes back in the pond in a little while
You shouldn't think like that. :( That kind of thinking can lead to disaster. I'm "talking" to you from experience. I always had my share of "suitors" that I rejected because I was too picky and they were just... :uhoh: in my teenage years. In fact, I still dated guys that were just... :uhoh: (flunking classes, no goals, runaways, etc) No wonder my parents never liked my bfs! :heh: But you know, none of these guys was perfect and the guy with whom I lasted longest in a bf/gf relationship had acne, but he was very sweet and caring, even if he had no specific goals in life in a sense. He drives trucks now and has a wife and three kids, even though he is very plump and still gets acne. :)
In my case, in my early twenties I developed extremely bad acne. The guy that was my hugest crush ever kindly rejected me. (Yes, I actually confessed via love letter. :eyespin:) Didn't last even two months and a half with another guy because he told me I didn't turn him on and then, my self-esteem crashed. I met then the guy I married. He had lots of issues and was extremely cold, volatile, and violent even against his mother. I was extremely afraid of him, but I thought that with my bad acne, no other guy would ever want me and this guy said that he loved me, even if my face looked so horrid along with many parts of my body, including my back, like in your case. (He actually said that too about my body and always pointed my imperfections to hurt me. :upset:)
Anyway, I married this guy due to my low self-esteem issues and this decision only led me to lots and lots of suffering in his hands with violence against me, his mother, and then our daughters. In the end, we split after a death threat because I got even more scared and couldn't handle it any longer.
You're still quite young. You can visit a dermatologist if you think your acne is too severe, but don't let the issue put you down. Plus, not all girls are as shallow as to just reject you due to those issues so don't think you have no chance. You can also try seeing a counselor. Sometimes that helps.
Good luck with trying to gain confidence! :cool:
it seems like u have been through alot aswell and it seems as if u made the wrong choice with the guy u choose and that guys a real bastard i mean making taunts at you just to hurt you i hate people like that. u did the right thing by splitting up he was a total....u know. Dont let people get u down like that while u may have blemishes on the outside i bet ur a really beautiful person inside and that is what counts
If u want i can keep u all updated to my progess its good having people to talk to
Sakura_Kinomoto your story is like one that you read about or watch in drama-based fiction. I'm sorry that it happened to you. None of us except for you can really get a great feel for the situation; in my mind, it sounds like this Beau guy liked Jamie if she's spending a lot of time with him, and he did his best to get her away from you. The only advice I can really offer is one for future prevention of a similar issue happening, but this advice also applies to creating and maintaining a good relationship. I may have said it before in this thread, but I'll say it here:
Communication is essential in a relationship. Don't just nod and go on - say it to whoever you're with. Establish it as a sacred ground. I'd always known it, but the first girl I dated didn't communicate well with me and further, stated that I was a poor communicator. The relationship didn't last for much over a month. My current relationship is approaching the two year mark and is much more mature. Within the first week of serious dating, I told my girlfriend about how important it was to communicate, and how I wanted her to tell me if something was bothering her.
Girls, I know that the advice is that there are certain things that you don't tell your boyfriend. This varies from person to person and relationship to relationship, but that's total garbage. I understand that not every guy is a bastion of understanding, and there are some things that may scare him off or give him a bad impression of you. But if those sorts of things are going to happen, is the relationship really good and pure?
Open communication can be incredibly painful. I felt that I was taking a great risk in going over the sanctity of communication with my girlfriend, because you don't find many people saying things like that. I felt that perhaps she'd think that the relationship was getting too serious, or that by saying how it was important to communicate in order to overcome issues, I was saying that we'd have a lot of problems. I am incredibly lucky, as my girlfriend not only took all of that in, but she's been following it all this time. Even while crying over issues that bother her, she's talked it over with me and we were able to resolve them. Obviously it wasn't easy for her, and it wasn't always easy for me. But the open communication lets you resolve these problems and grow togther. Perhaps more importantly, it establishes trust. If someone came up to her and told her that I was only with her for sex, or because she cooks for me, she could easily cast the remark off because she knows many of my deeper thoughts, and she trusts that I don't keep things from her.
I don't have as moving a story as Shiemi, but I came to my conclusions about relationships and communication due to my parents' divorce. In short, perhaps there were personal incompatibilities, but neither of my parents communicated with each other. If you don't communicate, you can't fix what's bothering your partner. If you don't care to fix what's bothering them, or if what they want out of the relationship goes against what you want, then perhaps the relationship is doomed to fail.
Many people seem content to be in a relationship just for the hell of being in a relationship. If you want something serious, then it's important to establish communication. Finding out that there's an irrecoverable incompatibility can be pretty painful, and communicating openly will turn those up. I think it's better to find those out earlier than later, though. But people who would rather meet problems head-on than to live with problems in blissful ignorance seem rather rare these days...
Either way, Sakura_Kinomoto, it's not too late to recover your friendship and perhaps even your relationship. Talking openly and expressing your feelings tends to be rather difficult, but you should confront Jamie. You have a variety of things to talk about - ask her why she did what she did, tell her that you don't like the way that things between the two of you have become weird. If she'll be even semi-open with you, then you can clear away any misunderstandings that she may have. Don't go into this with an argumentative mentality, or as if you're preparing for a fight. Be open, and make your goal the truth - find out what Jamie heard and thought, and make it clear to her what you feel and think. Keep us updated, and good luck.
Either way, Sakura_Kinomoto, it's not too late to recover your friendship and perhaps even your relationship. Talking openly and expressing your feelings tends to be rather difficult, but you should confront Jamie. You have a variety of things to talk about - ask her why she did what she did, tell her that you don't like the way that things between the two of you have become weird. If she'll be even semi-open with you, then you can clear away any misunderstandings that she may have. Don't go into this with an argumentative mentality, or as if you're preparing for a fight. Be open, and make your goal the truth - find out what Jamie heard and thought, and make it clear to her what you feel and think. Keep us updated, and good luck.
To be a bit of a devil's advocate here. I really honest think the last thing we need to do is encourage him to go back. I agree with the top part that it is him who needs to change...be more aggressive. Etc. But the girl in question doesn't really seem to be...to be frank. Worth it. I think this is one of those cases were it is more of a let go then anything else. If she was honestly presuaded by some other guy...to believe something like that...and to be honest...to believe the guy in question doesn't have the same intent. :heh: Sorry but that my friend is someone who has thier head up thier butt:heh: Not to mention it sounded like she even abandoned him and starting finding this other guy even before she broke it up. And worst of all is...She seemed to want to blame him for it. The 3rd one is truly the unforgivable one. The minute a person can't be honest...then have the sheer audacity to try to blame you for thier "Change". It shows a complete lack of respect and concern for the person.
To be a bit of a devil's advocate here. I really honest think the last thing we need to do is encourage him to go back.
When I say that the relationship can be salvaged, I meant it in terms of his relation to this girl - not necessarily as a romance, but as friends. If this completely didn't bother him, it wouldn't be worth the effort to try and find out what she was thinking and what she'd heard.
I agree with you that her actions were pretty terrible, but in all fairness to her, we don't know what she heard and was led to believe. Their relationship as a romantic one was pretty new, and she may have had insecurities. We may fault her for being gullible if she was led astray by lies from some third party, but I can't fault her for her actions unless we know that she was acting that way even knowing the truth.
Domo-Chan
2007-11-25, 16:56
Well im my situation I resently broke up with my BF of 2 years and im sorta glad and sad at the same time. He was a bit controling and his whole identity was wrapped up in me. He would say things like "i'm her husband" and "she's mine". He had no identity of his own.
Now that im single again I'm enjoying myself but im suck in some situation.
I'm currently in college and I just met two guys this semester(manny and aris). They both have a crush on me and one even says it's love. But to me that's a awful big step for just having to meet me.
And there is one more guy i knew him for about 1 year now(david). He asked me out and i like him but it's confusing because all 3 of these guys are friends.
David told aris that he liked me since me and him became friends a year ago and Aris told him that david was wrong to feel that way cause he likes me.
I want to go after the guy i like but i don't want to ruin people's friendships along the way
P.S i have back acne as well and im a girl it's not that bad. Plus i have a tattoo on my back of Dark and Krad from DNAngel there and people tell me it's fine. Sometimes back acne is a trait and mostly it doesn't matter to guys and girls alike unless there a bit shallow
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-25, 22:22
Sakura_Kinomoto your story is like one that you read about or watch in drama-based fiction. I'm sorry that it happened to you. None of us except for you can really get a great feel for the situation; in my mind, it sounds like this Beau guy liked Jamie if she's spending a lot of time with him, and he did his best to get her away from you. The only advice I can really offer is one for future prevention of a similar issue happening, but this advice also applies to creating and maintaining a good relationship. I may have said it before in this thread, but I'll say it here:
Communication is essential in a relationship. Don't just nod and go on - say it to whoever you're with. Establish it as a sacred ground. I'd always known it, but the first girl I dated didn't communicate well with me and further, stated that I was a poor communicator. The relationship didn't last for much over a month. My current relationship is approaching the two year mark and is much more mature. Within the first week of serious dating, I told my girlfriend about how important it was to communicate, and how I wanted her to tell me if something was bothering her.
Girls, I know that the advice is that there are certain things that you don't tell your boyfriend. This varies from person to person and relationship to relationship, but that's total garbage. I understand that not every guy is a bastion of understanding, and there are some things that may scare him off or give him a bad impression of you. But if those sorts of things are going to happen, is the relationship really good and pure?
Open communication can be incredibly painful. I felt that I was taking a great risk in going over the sanctity of communication with my girlfriend, because you don't find many people saying things like that. I felt that perhaps she'd think that the relationship was getting too serious, or that by saying how it was important to communicate in order to overcome issues, I was saying that we'd have a lot of problems. I am incredibly lucky, as my girlfriend not only took all of that in, but she's been following it all this time. Even while crying over issues that bother her, she's talked it over with me and we were able to resolve them. Obviously it wasn't easy for her, and it wasn't always easy for me. But the open communication lets you resolve these problems and grow togther. Perhaps more importantly, it establishes trust. If someone came up to her and told her that I was only with her for sex, or because she cooks for me, she could easily cast the remark off because she knows many of my deeper thoughts, and she trusts that I don't keep things from her.
I don't have as moving a story as Shiemi, but I came to my conclusions about relationships and communication due to my parents' divorce. In short, perhaps there were personal incompatibilities, but neither of my parents communicated with each other. If you don't communicate, you can't fix what's bothering your partner. If you don't care to fix what's bothering them, or if what they want out of the relationship goes against what you want, then perhaps the relationship is doomed to fail.
Many people seem content to be in a relationship just for the hell of being in a relationship. If you want something serious, then it's important to establish communication. Finding out that there's an irrecoverable incompatibility can be pretty painful, and communicating openly will turn those up. I think it's better to find those out earlier than later, though. But people who would rather meet problems head-on than to live with problems in blissful ignorance seem rather rare these days...
Either way, Sakura_Kinomoto, it's not too late to recover your friendship and perhaps even your relationship. Talking openly and expressing your feelings tends to be rather difficult, but you should confront Jamie. You have a variety of things to talk about - ask her why she did what she did, tell her that you don't like the way that things between the two of you have become weird. If she'll be even semi-open with you, then you can clear away any misunderstandings that she may have. Don't go into this with an argumentative mentality, or as if you're preparing for a fight. Be open, and make your goal the truth - find out what Jamie heard and thought, and make it clear to her what you feel and think. Keep us updated, and good luck.
Well based on alot of what not only you but what several others have said aswell i think i might try to repair my friendship with her at the very least get to the point where we say good morning to each other ** Sorry Shinoto i can see where u are coming from and i was even thinking of going along that path and who knows your opions might be right but ill try to patch up what i can Thanks for the advice ^^ Anymore would be great** As you said Ledgem i do kinda see how my story is like those Drama fictions but i dont know if mine like those ones will have a happy ending.
Im gonna send her an ecard because honestly i couldnt do this face to face...im to much of a coward. Back in the day when we were going out even when we were just friends we always use to send them to each other, little 'how are you' or 'your really cute' ones
*sigh* today i had my english exam and after that i asked one of her friends what she thought Jamie thought of me....she said from the looks of it she hated me
Im still gonna try though ive sent her this and i am awaiting her reply....
Dear Jamie
Jamie...I know i have hurt you i know that things didnt work out between us in terms of love.... and that things arent working out now... I dont want everything to end like this I want to remain your friend i want to repair things i want to start anew....I never meant to hurt you the way i did...Im so sorry and i pay for it everyday by not having you beside me as u used to be......please Jamie i miss you, i miss the fun times we use to have i miss seeing that warm glow of friendship in your eyes Please lets try to make anew
Im sorry....
I sent her that message with a Picture and the CCS song Honey is playing in the background
Now we wait and see......
Well based on alot of what not only you but what several others have said aswell i think i might try to repair my friendship with her at the very least get to the point where we say good morning to each other ** Sorry Shinoto i can see where u are coming from and i was even thinking of going along that path and who knows your opions might be right but ill try to patch up what i can Thanks for the advice ^^ Anymore would be great** As you said Ledgem i do kinda see how my story is like those Drama fictions but i dont know if mine like those ones will have a happy ending.
Im gonna send her an ecard because honestly i couldnt do this face to face...im to much of a coward. Back in the day when we were going out even when we were just friends we always use to send them to each other, little 'how are you' or 'your really cute' ones
*sigh* today i had my english exam and after that i asked one of her friends what she thought Jamie thought of me....she said from the looks of it she hated me
Im still gonna try though ive sent her this and i am awaiting her reply....
Dear Jamie
Jamie...I know i have hurt you i know that things didnt work out between us in terms of love.... and that things arent working out now... I dont want everything to end like this I want to remain your friend i want to repair things i want to start anew....I never meant to hurt you the way i did...Im so sorry and i pay for it everyday by not having you beside me as u used to be......please Jamie i miss you, i miss the fun times we use to have i miss seeing that warm glow of friendship in your eyes Please lets try to make anew
Im sorry....
I sent her that message with a Picture and the CCS song Honey is playing in the background
Now we wait and see......
Damn man, I'm sorry but that is way too hammy. I really really wish you had sent it to us first before going ahead. The tone should be much more casual and less apologetic. You use words like friendship but the way it comes out sounds like you are still clinging to helps of a romantic relationship.
"Hey,
I know you haven't heard from me for a while. To tell you the truth, I thought you didn't even want to be friends anymore, so it was hard to talk to you. But I want to set things right, because we've been friends for so long, and it would be a dumb of me to just walk away from that. The whole romance thing didn't work out at all, that's for sure. I definitely messed up a lot. There's a first time for everything, but that's no excuse for the way I acted sometimes. Still, just to set the record straight, whatever Beau said about me was total garbage--the things he said have no basis whatsoever. Really, I just want to talk this out sometime. I don't want to lose you as a friend."
Not in these words per say, but I feel like this would have been a more appropriate tone.
Damnit I don't want to make you feel bad bud. It's like painful for me to tell you this. I mean, it might be perfectly fine. She knows you way better than I do. Just for the next time, try not to be so mushy.
"Hey,
I know you haven't heard from me for a while. To tell you the truth, I thought you didn't even want to be friends anymore, so it was hard to talk to you. But I want to set things right, because we've been friends for so long, and it would be a dumb of me to just walk away from that. The whole romance thing didn't work out at all, that's for sure. I definitely messed up a lot. There's a first time for everything, but that's no excuse for the way I acted sometimes. Still, just to set the record straight, whatever Beau said about me was total garbage--the things he said have no basis whatsoever. Really, I just want to talk this out sometime. I don't want to lose you as a friend."
I might have gone for something along those lines as well. The original message is sincere, but I just don't like that line about "I'm sorry I hurt you." Did you really hurt her? I thought that was what we were all puzzling over - what it was that set her off against you. The leading theory so far was that Beau told some lies and got her bothered. Why are you accepting the blame for that guy's lies?
This applies to anyone who has a soft, kind demeanor. I think most of us like that want to accept the blame and self-sacrifice if it'll make things right, but it doesn't help you. Do it too often, and you may find yourself in an abusive relationship.
Personal story, back to the first girl I dated (the one who claimed I was a poor communicator) - basically, in the process of ending our romantic relationship and reverting it back to friendship, she got very angry at me (not sure why, but I guess the realization that she was being dumped did it) and, after about 30 minutes of psuedo arguing over nothing, she claimed my voice was giving her a headache and hung up on me. I figured that was the end of it, but the next day she called me up and demanded an apology.
I tried my best to hold back laughter, and asked her what she thought I should apologize over. She basically felt that I had been extremely rude and inappropriate, and some other things. If that's how she felt, no use in arguing over it - I apologized for that. I eventually managed to cool her down and we discussed it rationally. She asked if I didn't want to try again at the end of it (as a romantic relationship), and I had to say no, let's keep it as friends. What happened in between the beginning and the ending was that I had to assert myself, let her know when she was saying things that were ridiculous, and so on. If I'd just said "oh I need to apologize? I'm so sorry, you're right, I was totally out of line..." would I be in any place to have done that?
You need to stick up for yourself. If someone's upset and you did something wrong, I think it's obvious that you need to apologize. If someone's upset and accusing you of things when you're totally innocent, you need to judge whether it's appropriate to accept it, or to fight it. It's not always in your best interests to be a punching bag. Being diplomatic - being able to have a give-and-take discussion, especially when emotions are heated - is incredibly difficult, but this is how you create stronger relationships and come out with more respect.
When I say that the relationship can be salvaged, I meant it in terms of his relation to this girl - not necessarily as a romance, but as friends. If this completely didn't bother him, it wouldn't be worth the effort to try and find out what she was thinking and what she'd heard.
I agree with you that her actions were pretty terrible, but in all fairness to her, we don't know what she heard and was led to believe. Their relationship as a romantic one was pretty new, and she may have had insecurities. We may fault her for being gullible if she was led astray by lies from some third party, but I can't fault her for her actions unless we know that she was acting that way even knowing the truth.
To be frank and upfront about it. "Truth will be found in those who want to believe it to be Truth" From the sound of it...It looks want she wanted it to be the truth hence then a reason to break up guilt free. It seemed like she was told it and just believed it to be true because she wanted it to be true...Gives her the excuse she needs to justify her actions. And it sounds like she didn't even try to see if it was...really true or not. She is just as guilty as if she knew it to be true or not. Its kind of like copying an answer from anothers person. If it is wrong...your still resonaible for you even if you didn't bother to see if it was right or wrong. You just choose to believe it correct.
Of course this is on the details provided here now. Im sure a bias has occured
Also when you mean friendship. That depends on the person. I don't mean offensive to him but he doesn't seem to be the type who can let go of hope so easily. If he becomes buddies again then he may have that intendacy to keep trying and resting hope she may come around. He may have that chance still when there is none.
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-26, 22:29
arghhh:upset:....perhaps your right that is about posting it here before i sent it...well i guess everyone makes mistakes and ill just have to ride this one out and hope for the best. I am still awaiting a reply wether or not she has read it i dont know but i saw her today and we exchanged conversation albeit for a short time in amongst a group of friends so perhaps some of the advice i took from you all has helped somewhat. oh and heyFome Ur advice it wont make me upset i kinda find while critisim can be upsetting it can also help alot and now that i look back at it maybe i did end up writing the wrong thing:heh:
I honestly cant say why she left me other than the reasons she gave which were That i was moving to fast in our relationship...I guess it did kinda hold her hand and hug her within a 2 week period of us first going out. Maybe girls dont like that sorta thing happening so early? but besides that i honestly did not do nething wrong.What she heard was Completly false as i said earlier sex didnt even cross my mind.
and well i guess Ledgem what i meant when i said im sorry i hurt you was that before all of this we were unseperable we were the best of friends and well when this all happened i dont know why but i felt responisble.
Well who knows maybe even though what i sent her was not wording as it should be but perhaps she will see past that and see the gesture of friendship, a chance to rebuild and start again and well if not....No one can say i didnt try. Well if u people want i can stop posting about this, i dont know wether my story really means anything and i dont want people wasting time posting on it and if u wanna stop replying any help u have given already has been immensly helpful and i have seen this situation from many different points of view which is helping me and i thank you for that, I will only keep updating the story if you want me to...if not i understand
Ombrenuit
2007-11-26, 22:37
That i was moving to fast in our relationship...I guess it did kinda hold her hand and hug her within a 2 week period of us first going out.
Kid, girls aren't girls. People are people though. Everyone's an individual. Don't doubt yourself because ultimately it isn't about what you did wrong. Sure your head is screaming for answers, but that's life. Be yourself, make mistakes. Don't have regrets. The only wasted time is regret.
Take it from me, you didn't do anything wrong. Plus why should you be worried about doing things wrong? What would a relationship be if you were just trying to do everything right? Hell. That's what. In the end, the woman you end up with will be with you in spite of the ridiculous, clumsy personality we all share. And you'll feel the same way about her.
Now do yourself a favor and purchase the Cure's Disintegration. Always helped me after a break up.
Ombrenuit posted, and with excellent advice! I remember seeing you around the forums before, nice to see you back.
To be frank and upfront about it. "Truth will be found in those who want to believe it to be Truth" From the sound of it...It looks want she wanted it to be the truth hence then a reason to break up guilt free.
Maybe, maybe not. I think all of us here have been guilty of acting incorrectly based on believing false information, even though at the time we thought that we were doing what was right. If this girl honestly believed that Sakura_Kinomoto was, say, some raving sex fiend who wanted to turn her into a sex slave and didn't care for anything else, then her actions seem somewhat more justifiable. I'm not even discussing what she wanted to believe. Some people are rather good at manipulating others, and we don't know what Beau was telling her, or what anyone else may have been telling her. Before passing a judgement on her, I'd rather know what she was really thinking. If she wanted to create a breakup and seem like she was not the one to blame (or worse yet, she was the victim) then I believe we'd all be in agreement and say that she did something pretty trashy.
I honestly cant say why she left me other than the reasons she gave which were That i was moving to fast in our relationship...I guess it did kinda hold her hand and hug her within a 2 week period of us first going out. Maybe girls dont like that sorta thing happening so early? but besides that i honestly did not do nething wrong.What she heard was Completly false as i said earlier sex didnt even cross my mind.
If she felt that you were moving too fast, it was her responsibility to tell you. I already ranted about the importance of communcation - this is an example of where it applies.
In this case, there's no real right or wrong. You did nothing wrong by escalating the relationship to being more affectionate. We all have different levels of expression affection - maybe this girl isn't big on them. If so, good to know, because it sounds like you are. You need to pair with someone who wants to be held, who wants to hold hands, and all that. If not, you'll be frustrated. Note that this has nothing to do with sex.
If we want to place blame, place it on her. She chose not to communicate with you about her feelings, and then broke the relationship. A relationship is a very fragile thing, and it can be the source of a lot of happiness. Who was it that let the relationship down? It wasn't you. So think about this one, and if you feel up to it write out your answer here: why did you feel responsible? You're not sure why, but think about it long and hard. You mentioned your acne, the fact that you're skinny, like Star Trek, Stargate, and anime as if it were something shameful - that may be a sign of low self confidence. If so, it could explain why you felt that you should be the one taking blame - you're just in that mindset. I don't think all of us replying to this thread are saying that you did nothing wrong because we're rooting for you as if this were some sporting event. By the information that you presented, you've really done nothing wrong. Further, you sound like a very thoughtful individual who wants to have a relationship made up of substance and feeling. That's very commendable. So have some self respect, realize your worth, and just accept that you likely have a very bright future ahead of you, no matter how it feels now. Move forward with your head held high.
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-27, 20:54
I'm kinda lost about what to do here. I like a girl(a good friend), but I haven't seen or talked her in about 8 weeks now. I could find her on MySpace and talk to her there if I wanted to, though. Anyway, my church is going to go to a local mall on Sunday for Christmas shopping, and I'm thinking about asking her if she'd like to go if I do talk to her. But I'm afraid I might be moving too fast, though I'm not sure. I don't want to accidentally ruin our friendship in the process, so I want to make sure I go at just the right pace. Any suggestions on what I should do? Thanks!:)
I'm kinda lost about what to do here. I like a girl(a good friend), but I haven't seen or talked her in about 8 weeks now. I could find her on MySpace and talk to her there if I wanted to, though. Anyway, my church is going to go to a local mall on Sunday for Christmas shopping, and I'm thinking about asking her if she'd like to go if I do talk to her. But I'm afraid I might be moving too fast, though I'm not sure. I don't want to accidentally ruin our friendship in the process, so I want to make sure I go at just the right pace. Any suggestions on what I should do? Thanks!:)
Signs of mutual romantic interest are usually obvious. If you don't sense that she probably likes you too, it's likely that she just wants to be friends. I'm not saying that people are straightforward, I'm just saying that, when one person notices the other liking him/her, they either reciprocate or try to back off.
In, in my honest opinion, friendships are just so much nicer. I usually don't get into a relationship unless there is very strong mutual interest.
Domo-Chan
2007-11-27, 22:42
Well im my situation I resently broke up with my BF of 2 years and im sorta glad and sad at the same time. He was a bit controling and his whole identity was wrapped up in me. He would say things like "i'm her husband" and "she's mine". He had no identity of his own.
Now that im single again I'm enjoying myself but im suck in some situation.
I'm currently in college and I just met two guys this semester(manny and aris). They both have a crush on me and one even says it's love. But to me that's a awful big step for just having to meet me.
And there is one more guy i knew him for about 1 year now(david). He asked me out and i like him but it's confusing because all 3 of these guys are friends.
David told aris that he liked me since me and him became friends a year ago and Aris told him that david was wrong to feel that way cause he likes me.
I want to go after the guy i like but i don't want to ruin people's friendships along the way
So what should I do?
psycho bolt
2007-11-27, 23:05
My advice is pick who you want the most. It's tough in a situation you're in. I can tell that no matter what choice you make someone will be upset. People generally don't want others to feel bad. But sometimes you gotta pick a choice that will result in hurting someone. So your best effort is to make the decision and move on, that is the best for your situation. I can't predict if you will stay friends or not; maybe they will recover quickly or not.
Domo-Chan
2007-11-27, 23:17
Well i'll try anyway thanks
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-27, 23:17
Signs of mutual romantic interest are usually obvious. If you don't sense that she probably likes you too, it's likely that she just wants to be friends. I'm not saying that people are straightforward, I'm just saying that, when one person notices the other liking him/her, they either reciprocate or try to back off.
In, in my honest opinion, friendships are just so much nicer. I usually don't get into a relationship unless there is very strong mutual interest.I'm getting the idea that she does have at least a bit of interest in me. She took a couple of pictures with just me and her in it, and last time we saw each other, she said her goodbye with a really suddden hug.(which, to me, seemed kinda unusual) She even stayed with me for quite a while just to talk at a picnic while I was volunteering with a carnival game, when she could've gone and talked to someone else. Maybe I'm just really dense. :confused:
Anyway, I'm not friends with her just so I could get a girlfriend, in case you're wondering. I enjoy the time we spend together as friends.
I'm getting the idea that she does have at least a bit of interest in me. She took a couple of pictures with just me and her in it, and last time we saw each other, she said her goodbye with a really suddden hug.(which, to me, seemed kinda unusual) She even stayed with me for quite a while just to talk at a picnic while I was volunteering with a carnival game, when she could've gone and talked to someone else. Maybe I'm just really dense. :confused:
From my experience, actions like that don't reveal a great deal, but of course, everyone is different. What is more reliable to me is that gushy feeling whenever you guys are together, like there is just chemistry. You both start feeling vibes from each other but you aren't willing to make the leap yet, so you get this odd kind of give-and-take sensation. Then you move a little closer to test the waters, and she doesn't back away, and she starts doing it too, and then you both start talking funny because you are getting butterflies, etc...
But you should know her better than I do. I'm pretty laid back, so maybe my advice isn't the best.
Ok, here's the plan. Find an opportunity to go out somewhere. It can be anywhere: restaurant, park, ice cream shop, (although I prefer not going to movies). The only thing is, it's got to be completely natural when you ask, like you just suddenly feel hungry or have a craving. And when you go there, make sure it's not going into "date" territory. As in, if she's about to pay, let her. And just chill out and have a nice time. This will be a good time to see how she feels about you. If you don't feel those "romance" vibes after a few times out, it's probably not going to happen, because she appears to view you as a friend.
NightShade
2007-11-28, 00:48
And we never got the pics! :)
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-28, 01:13
And we never got the pics! :):D
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i304/DarkmanEXE/100_6583.jpg
Anyway...
From my experience, actions like that don't reveal a great deal, but of course, everyone is different. What is more reliable to me is that gushy feeling whenever you guys are together, like there is just chemistry. You both start feeling vibes from each other but you aren't willing to make the leap yet, so you get this odd kind of give-and-take sensation. Then you move a little closer to test the waters, and she doesn't back away, and she starts doing it too, and then you both start talking funny because you are getting butterflies, etc...
I don't know about her, but I actually started getting vibes last time we saw each other. We started talking about random stupid stuff.(like her spending five minutes telling me to get her candy XD) Not sure if that really counts as vibes, but I thought I felt something for a while there. :) I don't think asking her out for lunch or something would work for a while, though. Like I said, I haven't talked to her in about 8 weeks now. Thanks for all the advice so far, guys.
Any further suggestions? Thanx a bunch!
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-28, 04:11
:D
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i304/DarkmanEXE/100_6583.jpg
Anyway...
I don't know about her, but I actually started getting vibes last time we saw each other. We started talking about random stupid stuff.(like her spending five minutes telling me to get her candy XD) Not sure if that really counts as vibes, but I thought I felt something for a while there. :) I don't think asking her out for lunch or something would work for a while, though. Like I said, I haven't talked to her in about 8 weeks now. Thanks for all the advice so far, guys.
Any further suggestions? Thanx a bunch!
hehe Talking about candy is always a good sign ^^ and i like Fomes idea you should try casualy asking her out someplace even if it is just for a walk and spend some quality time with her. Talk about things you are both interested in. I say if you havent talked to her in a while ring her and just catch up with her a bit. Dont make it sound like you desperatley wanna see her just do it friend to friend, but thats just how i would do it u do what u think is best. PS you look so kawaii together ^^
Ombrenuit posted, and with excellent advice! I remember seeing you around the forums before, nice to see you back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinoto View Post
To be frank and upfront about it. "Truth will be found in those who want to believe it to be Truth" From the sound of it...It looks want she wanted it to be the truth hence then a reason to break up guilt free.
Maybe, maybe not. I think all of us here have been guilty of acting incorrectly based on believing false information, even though at the time we thought that we were doing what was right. If this girl honestly believed that Sakura_Kinomoto was, say, some raving sex fiend who wanted to turn her into a sex slave and didn't care for anything else, then her actions seem somewhat more justifiable. I'm not even discussing what she wanted to believe. Some people are rather good at manipulating others, and we don't know what Beau was telling her, or what anyone else may have been telling her. Before passing a judgement on her, I'd rather know what she was really thinking. If she wanted to create a breakup and seem like she was not the one to blame (or worse yet, she was the victim) then I believe we'd all be in agreement and say that she did something pretty trashy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sakura_Kinomoto
I honestly cant say why she left me other than the reasons she gave which were That i was moving to fast in our relationship...I guess it did kinda hold her hand and hug her within a 2 week period of us first going out. Maybe girls dont like that sorta thing happening so early? but besides that i honestly did not do nething wrong.What she heard was Completly false as i said earlier sex didnt even cross my mind.
If she felt that you were moving too fast, it was her responsibility to tell you. I already ranted about the importance of communcation - this is an example of where it applies.
In this case, there's no real right or wrong. You did nothing wrong by escalating the relationship to being more affectionate. We all have different levels of expression affection - maybe this girl isn't big on them. If so, good to know, because it sounds like you are. You need to pair with someone who wants to be held, who wants to hold hands, and all that. If not, you'll be frustrated. Note that this has nothing to do with sex.
If we want to place blame, place it on her. She chose not to communicate with you about her feelings, and then broke the relationship. A relationship is a very fragile thing, and it can be the source of a lot of happiness. Who was it that let the relationship down? It wasn't you. So think about this one, and if you feel up to it write out your answer here: why did you feel responsible? You're not sure why, but think about it long and hard. You mentioned your acne, the fact that you're skinny, like Star Trek, Stargate, and anime as if it were something shameful - that may be a sign of low self confidence. If so, it could explain why you felt that you should be the one taking blame - you're just in that mindset. I don't think all of us replying to this thread are saying that you did nothing wrong because we're rooting for you as if this were some sporting event. By the information that you presented, you've really done nothing wrong. Further, you sound like a very thoughtful individual who wants to have a relationship made up of substance and feeling. That's very commendable. So have some self respect, realize your worth, and just accept that you likely have a very bright future ahead of you, no matter how it feels now. Move forward with your head held high.
Thank you thats a very admirable speech it really means alot ^^. Im already trying to improve communication with her i was talking with her today ^^ it went well. I guess i am the person who wants to be able to hold a girl show affection on a non sexual level, cradle her in my arms and tell her how much i love her. I wanna thank all you guys especially you Ledgem and Fome you have really boosted my confidence and gave me great advice you should be very proud of yourself, you are great people full of wonderful advice. I truly thank you. Ill keep you updated on how things are going she hasnt replied but im staking alot on that she will ^^ once again thanks ill see you all later
psycho bolt
2007-11-28, 19:52
Ok I got a question that got nothing to do with dating. How do you know if a girl wants you to hit on her?
Ok I got a question that got nothing to do with dating. How do you know if a girl wants you to hit on her?
If she hits on you. Otherwise, you don't know.
High_Lord_Demonix
2007-11-28, 23:32
Im in a relationship going on about 1 and 1/2 years We came out toghether and im just trying not to mess it up.........wish us luck
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/7420/donttouchheisminezk3.jpg
ChibiMenos
2007-11-29, 00:40
A comment somewhat related to the topic at hand, that is, dating:
There can be a problem with dating people with similar interests and social life. Namely, that there's a good chance neither one has ever really kissed anyone before. Which leads to awkwardness.
*has just experienced this, and is not quite sure what to do*
:help:
A comment somewhat related to the topic at hand, that is, dating:
There can be a problem with dating people with similar interests and social life. Namely, that there's a good chance neither one has ever really kissed anyone before. Which leads to awkwardness.
*has just experienced this, and is not quite sure what to do*
:help:
Hehehe, cute :P Well, how did you feel about the kiss? Did you like it and want more, or was it too weird and you want to stay "friends?" If you liked it, then ask the other person how they felt and if they want to continue on that path. Don't be embarrassed to ask and talk about it, the best relationships are open and honest.
Im in a relationship going on about 1 and 1/2 years We came out toghether and im just trying not to mess it up.........wish us luck
I wish you luck! Guess you're into guys huh ^^' Well I envy you.
It's like 1 year and 2 months now that I can't stop thinking about that guy and I still don't know if he's into boys or girls *sigh* just starting to be friends. Guess I'll figure it out sooner or later... but damn .. this is tough :upset:
At least I'm so grateful I see him every day ^^
I really like how our relationship is going, although.... (read the spoiler)
She confessed to me after 2 years of being friends. About to reach our first year together soon. Everything has worked out better than I though at first. It took me about a few days at first to start falling in love with her more and more(especially our first kiss which just... wow :heh:). She got the "teasing-ness" from me(we like to tease each other often). We've never had any arguments, fights, short-breakups so I'm glad there between us two respecting each other. Basically, she's more open-minded than she has ever been being with her for 3 years ever since we got together. Is this a good sign or a bad one? I know, it might be a stupid question to ask :uhoh: thats pretty much the only thing I've been questioning myself a couple of times, she's even told me she likes how everything is going out now - even admitting of her changing since we got attached. It's not really bothering me - We love each other a lot, but I'd like to ask those more experienced ones out there.
Would appreciate any comments.
deathreape98
2007-11-29, 20:22
Of course its good that she's being more open-minded. Sounds like your relationship is going great, could quite possibly be for life.
High_Lord_Demonix
2007-11-29, 21:21
I really like how our relationship is going, although.... (read the spoiler)
She confessed to me after 2 years of being friends. About to reach our first year together soon. Everything has worked out better than I though at first. It took me about a few days at first to start falling in love with her more and more(especially our first kiss which just... wow :heh:). She got the "teasing-ness" from me(we like to tease each other often). We've never had any arguments, fights, short-breakups so I'm glad there between us two respecting each other. Basically, she's more open-minded than she has ever been being with her for 3 years ever since we got together. Is this a good sign or a bad one? I know, it might be a stupid question to ask :uhoh: thats pretty much the only thing I've been questioning myself a couple of times, she's even told me she likes how everything is going out now - even admitting of her changing since we got attached. It's not really bothering me - We love each other a lot, but I'd like to ask those more experienced ones out there.
Would appreciate any comments.
Thats nothing but a good thing.......mabye she is even the one :D:D:D
I LOVE YOU TOBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sakura_Kinomoto
2007-11-30, 00:42
Well i got her reply back that is from jamie and i must say it wasnt what i expected....one of my closet friends told me she went off her head and swore and was going well if he thinks thats gonna change anything well hes wrong and yeah well i decided id stay away from her and not sit near her at school and the rest of the people we hang out with followed and sat with me, she didnt like that at all then she made a point of giving everyone a christmas card but me, i got real annoyed at that. i thought things would work out they didnt im kinda real upset so im not gonna write much more sorry ppl ill post some advice when i feel abit better in the mean time im just gonna watch some sad anime and play a midsummers day Resosnance and Narcissu again...thanks for trying guys ill still keep u updated in case of a chnage who know maybe at senior college i might meet a girl ^^
Darkman.exe213
2007-11-30, 00:46
hehe Talking about candy is always a good sign ^^ and i like Fomes idea you should try casualy asking her out someplace even if it is just for a walk and spend some quality time with her. Talk about things you are both interested in. I say if you havent talked to her in a while ring her and just catch up with her a bit. Dont make it sound like you desperatley wanna see her just do it friend to friend, but thats just how i would do it u do what u think is best. PS you look so kawaii together ^^
Thanks! The weird part is, though, we don't have ANY common interests, as far as I know. She's not an anime fan, and I don't like rap.(her favorite music genre) I don't know how we do it, but we always have something to talk about when we see each other. ^^;; Ah well. I've been swamped with homework lately, so I haven't been able to contact her at all. Luckily, tomorrow is Friday.
I really like how our relationship is going, although.... (read the spoiler)
She confessed to me after 2 years of being friends. About to reach our first year together soon. Everything has worked out better than I though at first. It took me about a few days at first to start falling in love with her more and more(especially our first kiss which just... wow :heh:). She got the "teasing-ness" from me(we like to tease each other often). We've never had any arguments, fights, short-breakups so I'm glad there between us two respecting each other. Basically, she's more open-minded than she has ever been being with her for 3 years ever since we got together. Is this a good sign or a bad one? I know, it might be a stupid question to ask :uhoh: thats pretty much the only thing I've been questioning myself a couple of times, she's even told me she likes how everything is going out now - even admitting of her changing since we got attached. It's not really bothering me - We love each other a lot, but I'd like to ask those more experienced ones out there.
Would appreciate any comments.
What's your point of concern, the fact that she's grown to become more open-minded? I think most of us know this, but we're all constantly changing and growing throughout life. The changes are most dramatic in the teenage years and then slow as you get older, but you're constantly changing. If the two of you can grow together, it shows high compatibility and committment, and that bodes well for a long-lasting relationship. I'm in a relationship similar to yours, only I'm one year ahead of you. As long as you're both committed to each other and can talk about problems when they do arise (as infrequent as they may be, and as small as they may be), you're set.
My only fear is what happens if we would be separated physically for a very long period of time. If our experiences are very different, and if we're not "synchronizing" with each other as often (sharing experiences and thoughts - can be done via phone, but it's not as easy as when you're just walkiing together, for example), would we potentially grow apart? It depends on the individuals, and it's a very real possibility.
Well i got her reply back that is from jamie and i must say it wasnt what i expected....one of my closet friends told me she went off her head and swore and was going well if he thinks thats gonna change anything well hes wrong and yeah well i decided id stay away from her and not sit near her at school and the rest of the people we hang out with followed and sat with me, she didnt like that at all then she made a point of giving everyone a christmas card but me, i got real annoyed at that. i thought things would work out they didnt im kinda real upset so im not gonna write much more sorry ppl ill post some advice when i feel abit better in the mean time im just gonna watch some sad anime and play a midsummers day Resosnance and Narcissu again...thanks for trying guys ill still keep u updated in case of a chnage who know maybe at senior college i might meet a girl ^^
What a bitch. Reminds me of my first ex. She was sooo sweet when we were friends, she would invite a bunch of us over and pour us tea and we'd just watch anime and converse the night away. She grew to hate me the year after we dated, saying that I had a "skewed view of reality." Then I found out she was bipolar and stopped taking her meds. And like you, my first reaction was, "OMG I better apologize." Nope, now I know that's a step in the wrong direction.
I suggest trying to find hobbies aside from anime. You need to give people the impression that you aren't dependent, but just acting confident isn't enough. One needs to change his outlook, really try to find other things to occupy his life. There was this one other girl I used to like, but she totally despised me because she thought I was a stalker. So I got over it, starting playing guitar, got in a band, and played varsity sports, pretty much never seeing her again. After about 2 years, she actually started talking to me, which I thought was kind of odd, and by that time I didn't really care. The point is, you need to pry yourself from things that are going to drown you in romantic desperation. That means, stop watching so much sappy anime. Honestly, it's not good for people like us.
EternalNite
2007-12-03, 13:04
Don u wish to date like how they do in anime/dating-sim...How romantic...Well i don hav a date due to my laziness to find one :D
Well....I asked the girl I'm going out with out and she said no...then a few months later she asked me out xD
Well....I asked the girl I'm going out with out and she said no...then a few months later she asked me out xD
NICE! I bet you played it really smooth after she turned you down. Just to help out us guys here, you should tell us exactly how you acted.
NICE! I bet you played it really smooth after she turned you down. Just to help out us guys here, you should tell us exactly how you acted.
...Ok....I asked her out...she said no...We started talking at lunch..we became good friends.....About a year or so past, I became one of her best friends and vise versa...then she asked me out...Nothing really more to it....I acted like myself....
Honey_and_Cleaver
2007-12-03, 19:43
Right now i dun care even if im 22 or 42, if im gonna find a girl, i dont care, even if shes 14, im gonna get her, and ill do what ever hell i can to get her.
Well i used to become crazy for this girl when she was 14, i was 20 and i saw the age difference, so i didint persue her, but i saw that girl once and i cant get her out of my head. I went out with other girls and was just half hearted and i just gave up on them, i sware i dun care anymore after much thinking. If i see a girl like that again, im going after her like mad, even risking my own life. I sware id sell my soul to the devil to see her again and die for her.
...Ok....I asked her out...she said no...We started talking at lunch..we became good friends.....About a year or so past, I became one of her best friends and vise versa...then she asked me out...Nothing really more to it....I acted like myself....
Damn, I thought that friends rarely ever became couples. Well I'm glad to know it's not always the case.
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