Nanoha Fanfic Discussion

[ghazghkull]

Double post for ficcy 'cause no one else is posting T_T

[Nanoha Fate] Following is lemon material opening for one I'm working on right now, if you want the full teaser you gotta PM me 'cause I ain't gonna post it here :3


Nanoha smiled brightly to herself as she walked up the stairs to the bedroom that she shared with Fate. The blonde was currently working at her desk, eyes fixed on the monitors in front of her. Although she normally wouldn't interrupt Fate's work time she had a special case today. Starting tomorrow she would have to leave for two full weeks to take a training course back at the Instructor's main headquarters and wouldn't see her fiancée again during that time. After setting her unmarked plastic bag down on the bed she made her was over to her roommate and gently placed her hands onto the red eyed girl's shoulders. “Fate,” She spoke just loud enough to get her attention. Slowly she started to rub the shoulders in her hands and got a very pleased moan in return for her troubles. Not stopping there she worked to the neck and rubbed her thumbs over the smooth skin slowly, pressing down just hard enough to be felt.

Fate sighed out contently at the sudden pampering and allowed her friend to unbutton her uniform front despite knowing where this would probably lead to. Her work started seeming less important as time passed, focusing more on the warm hands that were touching her skin directly. Gentle pressure, soft touching, warmth spreading over her tired shoulders and neck. Finally she gave up working all together and simply closed her eyes in bliss. Defeated, she felt Nanoha shift her hair and gently touch one fingertip at the base of her hairline and run it up and down the center of her neck. Shortly thereafter soft sticky lips found her skin and placed a small kiss on it. Shivering, Fate fought back a startled sound from the sudden intimate motion. The lip balm that Nanoha always wore tasted of peaches but right now only served to drive her insane when paired with the warmth of Nanoha's mouth. Another kiss, this time longer, was placed on the side of Fate's neck and gentle sucking followed.



I'll wait for the full version. But this gives us an idea of what to expect ^3^

[Satashi]

I'll wait for the full version. But this gives us an idea of what to expect ^3^

(b")b it's being worked on along with my Hayate/Yuuno one.

[ghazghkull]

(b")b it's being worked on along with my Hayate/Yuuno one.

Well you've tickled my interest indeed ^^

BTW, was there an official age for Vivio? Does anyone happen to know?

[beddo9]

BTW, was there an official age for Vivio? Does anyone happen to know?
well, it seems there is no official age for her but she may be 6 at the end of Strikers

[ghazghkull]

I see.

Well here's another one-shot, literally hot off the press. This is the first draft, literally up for picking and tearing.

Go right ahead and critique it, because chances are I'll be taking all of your advices when I go back to this in the afternoon tomorrow and start editing it.


Spiritual Garden

Disclaimer: I DON’T OWN THE TITLE!! Tamura Yukari owns this title.

“Beautiful…”

Those were the words that could only come from Nanoha’s mouth as she happily danced through the field of flowers.

“Fate-chan this is beautiful,” Nanoha exclaimed happily.

Fate simply stood under a tree as she watched Nanoha frolic in the grass.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day. The sun glowed brightly casting its heavenly glow upon Nanoha as she played.

Fate simply smiled as continued watching. Nanoha was her precious rose: a beautiful image of perfection, but dangerous to approach carelessly. Yet despite her powers, Fate continued to protect her in the ways she could. She was the frontline warrior of the two, protecting her from those who could possibly harm her in close combat.

Not only guardian of the warrior of the sky, she protected the heart of her rose.

Since the days of their high school lives, she stood up for the two of them. She dealt with a lot of the insults, the jabs, and the pain. She had done her best to protect Nanoha from a lot of the people who had negative views of the relationship. She wouldn’t let them harm her so long as she could help it. Although she knew some had gotten past her and had hurt her, she bore the brunt of it. She stood strong, as Nanoha stood by her side and supported her.

“Ne, Fate-chan, what’s wrong?” Nanoha asked, childishly skipping towards the woman.

“It’s nothing,” Fate cheerfully replied. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Nanoha asked back, curious what could be on her girlfriend’s mind.

“About us,” she replied back. “About what we’ve gone through, what we’ve accomplished, that sort of thing.”

Nanoha nodded thoughtfully as she sat down next to Fate and allowed her to wrap her arms around her waist. It had always been this way, since the days they had started their relationship: Fate had always played the role of the male in their relationship. Although there were times they’d reverse, Fate usually held that role.

Nanoha sighed as she rested her head against Fate’s shoulders, as she thought back to how many times they had strayed from the path they walked.

Many a times, she had doubted their relationship, wondering if all the struggles the two of them had gone through were worth it. Often her heart was heavily divided as it struggled between being in a relationship with Fate, and breaking up so that they could be faced with less pain. There was a time, she had thought about running away and breaking all forms of contact to keep their hearts from being hurt.

But always, Fate steered their relation back onto the path, bringing new vigour and energy into the relationship.

They sometimes fought with one another, over sometimes the littlest of things, be it sleeping habits, cleaning habits, or even because of a simple mistake. There were times they could come to each others throats that they may say something they’d regret, but at one point or another, they’d come back to break it off, only to somehow rekindle their relationship. It was a common thing between them.

Thinking back further Nanoha looked back on the days she had tried dating boys. It was an experience she’d personally rather forget.

Although she had dated a few nice boys, others were not as nice. Most did not respect her as a woman. They all usually looked at her as some sex prize, which could be swayed and won over. She had often expressed her dislike for intimate contact, but often many tried to anyways and went against her wishes, which often landed them into a world of unspeakable pain.

In the end, Nanoha had given up on finding Mr. Right and had settled living single.

But it had been during a particular outing that she began to learn of her true feelings.

She had been out for a run one day when she had seen Fate out on a date with another guy. She had felt a strange reaction, and had run away not soon after. She had spent days wondering what she felt towards the idea of Fate seeing another man. It was then she had eventually learned of her feelings towards Fate, and just how strong it was.

Eventually she learned what she had long wished for, a place for her heart to belong, lied within Fate’s heart.

The day she had finally confessed had been the best days of her life. Having never known Fate’s heart felt the same, they had spent a heartfelt day doing nothing but be with each other, celebrating their union as a couple. The repercussions they had gone through had been hurtful, but to this day their feelings stood strong.

“Ne Fate-chan, could we get married here, in this field?” Nanoha asked sleepily, as Fate lightly stroked the top of Nanoha’s head.

“Why not?” Fate simply replied, feeling sleepy herself as the gentle scent of the flowers slowly lulling the two of them to sleep.

“I’d like that,” Nanoha weakly replied as sleep finally took them both.

Gently blowing, the wind gently caressed them, as it slowly and gently lifted them to the world of their dreams. A dream filled with nothing but love, and each other.

[BPHaru]

Double post for ficcy 'cause no one else is posting T_T

[Nanoha Fate] Following is lemon material opening for one I'm working on right now, if you want the full teaser you gotta PM me 'cause I ain't gonna post it here :3


Nanoha smiled brightly to herself as she walked up the stairs to the bedroom that she shared with Fate. The blonde was currently working at her desk, eyes fixed on the monitors in front of her. Although she normally wouldn't interrupt Fate's work time she had a special case today. Starting tomorrow she would have to leave for two full weeks to take a training course back at the Instructor's main headquarters and wouldn't see her fiancée again during that time. After setting her unmarked plastic bag down on the bed she made her was over to her roommate and gently placed her hands onto the red eyed girl's shoulders. “Fate,” She spoke just loud enough to get her attention. Slowly she started to rub the shoulders in her hands and got a very pleased moan in return for her troubles. Not stopping there she worked to the neck and rubbed her thumbs over the smooth skin slowly, pressing down just hard enough to be felt.

Fate sighed out contently at the sudden pampering and allowed her friend to unbutton her uniform front despite knowing where this would probably lead to. Her work started seeming less important as time passed, focusing more on the warm hands that were touching her skin directly. Gentle pressure, soft touching, warmth spreading over her tired shoulders and neck. Finally she gave up working all together and simply closed her eyes in bliss. Defeated, she felt Nanoha shift her hair and gently touch one fingertip at the base of her hairline and run it up and down the center of her neck. Shortly thereafter soft sticky lips found her skin and placed a small kiss on it. Shivering, Fate fought back a startled sound from the sudden intimate motion. The lip balm that Nanoha always wore tasted of peaches but right now only served to drive her insane when paired with the warmth of Nanoha's mouth. Another kiss, this time longer, was placed on the side of Fate's neck and gentle sucking followed.



I really hope that you're not planning to do something hardcore there...


I see.

Well here's another one-shot, literally hot off the press. This is the first draft, literally up for picking and tearing.

Go right ahead and critique it, because chances are I'll be taking all of your advices when I go back to this in the afternoon tomorrow and start editing it.


Spiritual Garden

Disclaimer: I DON’T OWN THE TITLE!! Tamura Yukari owns this title.

“Beautiful…”

Those were the words that could only come from Nanoha’s mouth as she happily danced through the field of flowers.

“Fate-chan this is beautiful,” Nanoha exclaimed happily.

Fate simply stood under a tree as she watched Nanoha frolic in the grass.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day. The sun glowed brightly casting its heavenly glow upon Nanoha as she played.

Fate simply smiled as continued watching. Nanoha was her precious rose: a beautiful image of perfection, but dangerous to approach carelessly. Yet despite her powers, Fate continued to protect her in the ways she could. She was the frontline warrior of the two, protecting her from those who could possibly harm her in close combat.

Not only guardian of the warrior of the sky, she protected the heart of her rose.

Since the days of their high school lives, she stood up for the two of them. She dealt with a lot of the insults, the jabs, and the pain. She had done her best to protect Nanoha from a lot of the people who had negative views of the relationship. She wouldn’t let them harm her so long as she could help it. Although she knew some had gotten past her and had hurt her, she bore the brunt of it. She stood strong, as Nanoha stood by her side and supported her.

“Ne, Fate-chan, what’s wrong?” Nanoha asked, childishly skipping towards the woman.

“It’s nothing,” Fate cheerfully replied. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Nanoha asked back, curious what could be on her girlfriend’s mind.

“About us,” she replied back. “About what we’ve gone through, what we’ve accomplished, that sort of thing.”

Nanoha nodded thoughtfully as she sat down next to Fate and allowed her to wrap her arms around her waist. It had always been this way, since the days they had started their relationship: Fate had always played the role of the male in their relationship. Although there were times they’d reverse, Fate usually held that role.

Nanoha sighed as she rested her head against Fate’s shoulders, as she thought back to how many times they had strayed from the path they walked.

Many a times, she had doubted their relationship, wondering if all the struggles the two of them had gone through were worth it. Often her heart was heavily divided as it struggled between being in a relationship with Fate, and breaking up so that they could be faced with less pain. There was a time, she had thought about running away and breaking all forms of contact to keep their hearts from being hurt.

But always, Fate steered their relation back onto the path, bringing new vigour and energy into the relationship.

They sometimes fought with one another, over sometimes the littlest of things, be it sleeping habits, cleaning habits, or even because of a simple mistake. There were times they could come to each others throats that they may say something they’d regret, but at one point or another, they’d come back to break it off, only to somehow rekindle their relationship. It was a common thing between them.

Thinking back further Nanoha looked back on the days she had tried dating boys. It was an experience she’d personally rather forget.

Although she had dated a few nice boys, others were not as nice. Most did not respect her as a woman. They all usually looked at her as some sex prize, which could be swayed and won over. She had often expressed her dislike for intimate contact, but often many tried to anyways and went against her wishes, which often landed them into a world of unspeakable pain.

In the end, Nanoha had given up on finding Mr. Right and had settled living single.

But it had been during a particular outing that she began to learn of her true feelings.

She had been out for a run one day when she had seen Fate out on a date with another guy. She had felt a strange reaction, and had run away not soon after. She had spent days wondering what she felt towards the idea of Fate seeing another man. It was then she had eventually learned of her feelings towards Fate, and just how strong it was.

Eventually she learned what she had long wished for, a place for her heart to belong, lied within Fate’s heart.

The day she had finally confessed had been the best days of her life. Having never known Fate’s heart felt the same, they had spent a heartfelt day doing nothing but be with each other, celebrating their union as a couple. The repercussions they had gone through had been hurtful, but to this day their feelings stood strong.

“Ne Fate-chan, could we get married here, in this field?” Nanoha asked sleepily, as Fate lightly stroked the top of Nanoha’s head.

“Why not?” Fate simply replied, feeling sleepy herself as the gentle scent of the flowers slowly lulling the two of them to sleep.

“I’d like that,” Nanoha weakly replied as sleep finally took them both.

Gently blowing, the wind gently caressed them, as it slowly and gently lifted them to the world of their dreams. A dream filled with nothing but love, and each other.


Nice short, the final lines are so Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

Saludos, Haru

[Tk3997]

Kha..... What was that......... :eyebrow:

You're supposed to be enticing them... not scaring them away... :uhoh: What was Lowe’s line? Oh yeah “Kha is Kha” he really can’t help it, for better or worse, and it often is for the worse.:heh:

[Eagle8819]

Anyway *yawns* anything new going on fic wise with anyone?
*glasses glints in the sunlight as it got pushed up*

Your wish just came true. :D

Sort of. :heh:

Impasse (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3885788/1/Impasse).

The long awaited high school fic, I suppose. But I'm not as confident in this one as I am in past fictions for...certain reasons stated down in the A/N. So, here goes your warning. It's unbeta-ed, and there are probably a bunch of places that don't look very good.

There's also little to none angst. Though that may change in the future, of course. Gotta admit this is one of my lighter works, though. ;)

And Haru...do you mind telling me how you type out those characters? They look so...cute. *_*

[BPHaru]

And Haru...do you mind telling me how you type out those characters? They look so...cute. *_*


Press <windows key>+R
Type "charmap" and press Enter
Copy & Paste


It's usefull to save the emoticons in a txt file.

Saludos, Haru

[Satashi]

*glasses glints in the sunlight as it got pushed up*

Your wish just came true. :D

Sort of. :heh:

Impasse (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3885788/1/Impasse).

The long awaited high school fic, I suppose. But I'm not as confident in this one as I am in past fictions for...certain reasons stated down in the A/N. So, here goes your warning. It's unbeta-ed, and there are probably a bunch of places that don't look very good.

There's also little to none angst. Though that may change in the future, of course. Gotta admit this is one of my lighter works, though. ;)



I liked it, even if you did beat up Yuuno a little bit in it. A note, though, why would Nanoha call him a ferret if there's no magic yet? May want to develop a little on that.

Fate and kendo doesn't really click to me for some,strange, reason. I guess it's because Kendo is really precise and formal and I view Fate's fighting as more...erratic and careless. Such as her sonic form, she completely disregards herself for speed in a rash attempt to slay whatever she's going against.

BTW, if you want a few kendo facts, you got it right for the most part. You have to call out your attack location (when you think you'll land a hit), and if you miss it after calling it, it's taken as bad form. Also, the formula is to step up, bow, go into fight stance, start fight when ref declares start, call attack place when striking for the kill, when a hit lands both people step back and then bow before going to their knees in a formal sitting postion while waiting for the judge to call it. Best 2 of 3 I think it is. I an be wrong there, since my knowledge is based on a little reading and seeing a few actual matches. I hope that helps a little?

I like the idea of Fate and Nanoha meeting like that, and it's obvious Nanoha seems to like girls....but does she know she does yet or does Fate like girls yet?

Looking forward to reading more, although I hope your story continues to taste good for a while before becoming bittersweet with angst.

I really hope that you're not planning to do something hardcore there...

Saludos, Haru

It's hardcore, yes, but not in the way you think. Although it's a little more graphic than Emerald Dream, it's more....funny. Yes that's right, I said funny. During the course of their love making several things will happen, ranging from kinky-erotic, to Fate breaking into laughter at Nanoha's attempt to be sexy.

[beddo9]

It's hardcore, yes, but not in the way you think. Although it's a little more graphic than Emerald Dream, it's more....funny. Yes that's right, I said funny. During the course of their love making several things will happen, ranging from kinky-erotic, to Fate breaking into laughter at Nanoha's attempt to be sexy.
that was...somehow really tempting:naughty::heh:
you just made me want to read it now, Satashi-san

[BPHaru]

It's hardcore, yes, but not in the way you think. Although it's a little more graphic than Emerald Dream, it's more....funny. Yes that's right, I said funny. During the course of their love making several things will happen, ranging from kinky-erotic, to Fate breaking into laughter at Nanoha's attempt to be sexy.
I hope you knew what I was thinking when I wrote the post... if it be so then I'll be looking forward to that kinky-funny fic :)

Saludos, Haru

[Satashi]

(b")b the point of this fic is to experiment with how Nanoha and Fate spend their personal lives together. Although this one is a little more graphic than Emerald, don't expect me to stray from my normal quirky, funny writing style. You can read this fic in two ways. One being in a strictly perverted eye (which is okay, it's a lemon) and the other is to enjoy it and giggle along with the girls as they attempt to be kinky with each other and kind of succeed, kind of fail at it.

[Keroko]

*Pops in* A few days ago I took a little check to see if people here were interested in a more serious story centered around Ancient Belka, and since there were some voices of interest...

First, a bit of a preview to the main OC:

Carim sat down behind her desk with a sigh. Today had been a busy day; a group of Scrya’s had made an archeological discovery that had the potential to reveal much of the still hidden information on the history of Ancient Belka. She took a deep breath, and commed Schach.

“Can I help you, Knight Carim?”

“Yes, I was wondering if you could bring me some tea?”

“Ahh, long report to write?” Schach answered, half-guessing where this was going.

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there right away.”

Carim smiled as the screen closed. She could always count on Schach in these things. She shifted in her seat slightly as a new screen popped up, and after marking the date, she began to type.

Scryan archeologists have made an astonishing discovery today. In the ruins of a faraway enclave, a small group of Scrya’s had discovered a library of sorts. Quick investigations pointed out that it used to be Belkan in origin. Though most of it was empty, and what was left was almost destroyed in decay, a few precious documents had been found reasonably intact. Among these was mention of something that has the potential to shake our known history of the Ancient Belka to the core.

The documents spoke of many legendary figures, but also a word that we have, to this record, rarely encountered. The document spoke of the Primarch.

The Primarch are figures shrouded in the veil of history to this day. Legends and stories about them are abundant, but we are not sure which to believe. If this document is true, it could a key to unraveling the mystery behind the Primarchs.

Among one particular file of the documents we found a picture of a young woman.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y191/Liinna/Nanoha/Alistina_torn.png

The picture is in remarkable condition, despite being damaged by the sands of time. It is to this point unsure what she has to do with the Primarchs, but from what little has been translated so far, it seems that she was of importance enough to be heavily weaved throughout the document. Some of our most talented linguists are working day and night to reveal the information that this young woman holds.

While we cannot be sure of anything, I am confident that this discovery will open the door to whole new realms of knowledge of the Ancient Belka.

And after that, part 1 of Legend of Ancient Belka: Fall of an Empire.

Part 1: A burning vessel.

Hot.

It was so incredibly hot.

Fires were burning all around her, flames tearing away at the controls of what was once the greatest weapon of the Belkan Empire, burning the bodies of the fallen that lay scattered throughout the room. Flames that dried her tears as fast as they flowed from her eyes.

And yet, the heat of the flames barely registered even in the back of her mind, her thoughts focused on the girl she held in her arms.

So much blood. She had never really paid attention to it before, but was it really possible for a human being to lose this much blood?

No, she already knew the answer. It was possible for a human being to lose this much blood, but it was not possible to survive losing it.

Even for one such as her.

“Why?”

The girl tilted her head upwards, meeting her eyes. The very motion seemed to strain her to the extreme as her entire body seemed to shudder while making the attempt. Blue eyes met her own pair of mismatched ones, one green, one red, as the blood covered girl curved her mouth in a small smile.

“Because I had to.”

The words were like a dagger to her heart. Renewed tears fell from her eyes as her grip on the girl tightened.

“Why? Why did you have to? Because of your duty!? Because of your oath!?”

“Heh.” The girl’s body shuddered as the small chuckle escaped her lips. “When did I ever do things I did not want to do myself?”

“But why?” She repeated again. She wanted an answer. No, she needed an answer. She would not be able to live with herself if she never found out why.

Why did people die around her?

“You’re probably blaming yourself for what happened here.” mismatched eyes widened as the girl spoke again.

“You always do. No matter how you try to hide it behind your harsh attitude, you always blame yourself. What happened here was my choice and mine alone.” The girl smiled. “I am a selfish girl after all.”

“If only you hadn’t been assigned this duty.” She lowered her head in sadness and shame. This was her fault. It was for her that this had happened. For her that she had sacrificed herself.

A shudder coming from the girl’s body startled her out of the path her thoughts were taking as her worried eyes resettled on the girl in her arms. Another shudder, and the girl’s eyes closed in a wince as she suppressed another chuckle.

“See? Once again, duty duty duty. But I didn’t die here protecting ‘her royal majesty’.” The girl said, reopening her eyes. “I died here protecting my sister.”

“I don’t want you to die.” She said, holding back a choking sob.

“Nor do I. But if I know you will live, I am all right with it.” The girl’s blue eyes traveled upwards again, seeking her mismatched ones. “Will you live?”

At that moment, she wanted nothing more then to lie. To deny that she could make it out alive easily. Anything to prevent what she feared.

But the words came, even though she did not want to.

“Yes, I will live.”

The girl’s face softened, as if a great burden had been lifted. “Then, this is goodbye.”

Her eyes widened.

“Goodbye… Vivio…”

The girl’s eyes closed, and her body went limp in her arms. A lock of red hair slowly fell in front of the now closed eyes. Saint king Vivio Sakurazaki’s eyes slowly widened as realized what had just happened.

“…Alistina?”

She shook the body in her hands, refusing to accept the truth.

“Alistina? ALISTINA!”

But the blue eyes never opened. The saint king collapsed on the body in tears, not believing that the one person who had been at her side forever was now gone.

How had it come to this?

[Kirika-chan]

*Pops in* A few days ago I took a little check to see if people here were interested in a more serious story centered around Ancient Belka, and since there were some voices of interest...

First, a bit of a preview to the main OC:

Carim sat down behind her desk with a sigh. Today had been a busy day; a group of Scrya’s had made an archeological discovery that had the potential to reveal much of the still hidden information on the history of Ancient Belka. She took a deep breath, and commed Schach.

“Can I help you, Knight Carim?”

“Yes, I was wondering if you could bring me some tea?”

“Ahh, long report to write?” Schach answered, half-guessing where this was going.

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there right away.”

Carim smiled as the screen closed. She could always count on Schach in these things. She shifted in her seat slightly as a new screen popped up, and after marking the date, she began to type.

Scryan archeologists have made an astonishing discovery today. In the ruins of a faraway enclave, a small group of Scrya’s had discovered a library of sorts. Quick investigations pointed out that it used to be Belkan in origin. Though most of it was empty, and what was left was almost destroyed in decay, a few precious documents had been found reasonably intact. Among these was mention of something that has the potential to shake our known history of the Ancient Belka to the core.

The documents spoke of many legendary figures, but also a word that we have, to this record, rarely encountered. The document spoke of the Primarch.

The Primarch are figures shrouded in the veil of history to this day. Legends and stories about them are abundant, but we are not sure which to believe. If this document is true, it could a key to unraveling the mystery behind the Primarchs.

Among one particular file of the documents we found a picture of a young woman.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y191/Liinna/Nanoha/Alistina_torn.png

The picture is in remarkable condition, despite being damaged by the sands of time. It is to this point unsure what she has to do with the Primarchs, but from what little has been translated so far, it seems that she was of importance enough to be heavily weaved throughout the document. Some of our most talented linguists are working day and night to reveal the information that this young woman holds.

While we cannot be sure of anything, I am confident that this discovery will open the door to whole new realms of knowledge of the Ancient Belka.

And after that, part 1 of Legend of Ancient Belka: Fall of an Empire.

Part 1: A burning vessel.

Hot.

It was so incredibly hot.

Fires were burning all around her, flames tearing away at the controls of what was once the greatest weapon of the Belkan Empire, burning the bodies of the fallen that lay scattered throughout the room. Flames that dried her tears as fast as they flowed from her eyes.

And yet, the heat of the flames barely registered even in the back of her mind, her thoughts focused on the girl she held in her arms.

So much blood. She had never really paid attention to it before, but was it really possible for a human being to lose this much blood?

No, she already knew the answer. It was possible for a human being to lose this much blood, but it was not possible to survive losing it.

Even for one such as her.

“Why?”

The girl tilted her head upwards, meeting her eyes. The very motion seemed to strain her to the extreme as her entire body seemed to shudder while making the attempt. Blue eyes met her own pair of mismatched ones, one green, one red, as the blood covered girl curved her mouth in a small smile.

“Because I had to.”

The words were like a dagger to her heart. Renewed tears fell from her eyes as her grip on the girl tightened.

“Why? Why did you have to? Because of your duty!? Because of your oath!?”

“Heh.” The girl’s body shuddered as the small chuckle escaped her lips. “When did I ever do things I did not want to do myself?”

“But why?” She repeated again. She wanted an answer. No, she needed an answer. She would not be able to live with herself if she never found out why.

Why did people die around her?

“You’re probably blaming yourself for what happened here.” mismatched eyes widened as the girl spoke again.

“You always do. No matter how you try to hide it behind your harsh attitude, you always blame yourself. What happened here was my choice and mine alone.” The girl smiled. “I am a selfish girl after all.”

“If only you hadn’t been assigned this duty.” She lowered her head in sadness and shame. This was her fault. It was for her that this had happened. For her that she had sacrificed herself.

A shudder coming from the girl’s body startled her out of the path her thoughts were taking as her worried eyes resettled on the girl in her arms. Another shudder, and the girl’s eyes closed in a wince as she suppressed another chuckle.

“See? Once again, duty duty duty. But I didn’t die here protecting ‘her royal majesty’.” The girl said, reopening her eyes. “I died here protecting my sister.”

“I don’t want you to die.” She said, holding back a choking sob.

“Nor do I. But if I know you will live, I am all right with it.” The girl’s blue eyes traveled upwards again, seeking her mismatched ones. “Will you live?”

At that moment, she wanted nothing more then to lie. To deny that she could make it out alive easily. Anything to prevent what she feared.

But the words came, even though she did not want to.

“Yes, I will live.”

The girl’s face softened, as if a great burden had been lifted. “Then, this is goodbye.”

Her eyes widened.

“Goodbye… Vivio…”

The girl’s eyes closed, and her body went limp in her arms. A lock of red hair slowly fell in front of the now closed eyes. Saint king Vivio Sakurazaki’s eyes slowly widened as realized what had just happened.

“…Alistina?”

She shook the body in her hands, refusing to accept the truth.

“Alistina? ALISTINA!”

But the blue eyes never opened. The saint king collapsed on the body in tears, not believing that the one person who had been at her side forever was now gone.

How had it come to this?


It's really interesting :D (With Vivio for once time... I mean in central figure).
But in your story, it's a flash back? (Your part 1A). And What is the age of Vivio?

(I hope you post the next soon :p)

[Keroko]

It's really interesting :D (With Vivio for once time... I mean in central figure).
But in your story, it's a flash back? (Your part 1A). And What is the age of Vivio?

(I hope you post the next soon :p)

The first post is only a minor introduction, meant to show what the main OC looks like. True, I could have just posted the picture, but I always like to weave a story around it. :)

The second post (A burning vessel) is the real prologue. Obviously we'll make a timeskip backwards in the next parts when explainig how that situation came to be.

As for Vivio's age, she'd be around 22. A young king, yes, but a needed one.

[Eagle8819]

I liked it, even if you did beat up Yuuno a little bit in it. A note, though, why would Nanoha call him a ferret if there's no magic yet? May want to develop a little on that.
Yep, I do have some plans to build up his character. Or so-called plans, anyway. I didn't mean to seem abusive to Yuuno there but...hmm...*rubs chin* it's just that I think he's really observant and...stuff. I will explain a little more come next chapter or so, I suppose.

Fate and kendo doesn't really click to me for some,strange, reason. I guess it's because Kendo is really precise and formal and I view Fate's fighting as more...erratic and careless. Such as her sonic form, she completely disregards herself for speed in a rash attempt to slay whatever she's going against.

BTW, if you want a few kendo facts, you got it right for the most part. You have to call out your attack location (when you think you'll land a hit), and if you miss it after calling it, it's taken as bad form. Also, the formula is to step up, bow, go into fight stance, start fight when ref declares start, call attack place when striking for the kill, when a hit lands both people step back and then bow before going to their knees in a formal sitting postion while waiting for the judge to call it. Best 2 of 3 I think it is. I an be wrong there, since my knowledge is based on a little reading and seeing a few actual matches. I hope that helps a little?

Ooh, yes, that helps. *files information away* Thanks. XD To be honest, I probably won't focus very much on kendo or...whatever clubs and stuff, but every now and then, they'll probably come into play.

That one-hit-rule, admittedly, is just something I came up with. Mostly because I didn't want to turn the matches into formal duels of sort...and also because I intended for the duels to be brief. Also because I actually kind of preferred continuous fighting compared to hit once then stop then hit then stop. But I do think that this kind of one-hit rule or continuous fighting does happen in practice and etc. Though if anyone can confirm, that will help, of course.

On another note, while I do know the difference between shinai and bokken, does anyone know when and where which one will be used? @_@

I like the idea of Fate and Nanoha meeting like that, and it's obvious Nanoha seems to like girls....but does she know she does yet or does Fate like girls yet?

Looking forward to reading more, although I hope your story continues to taste good for a while before becoming bittersweet with angst.
I was actually just hoping to give the impression of Nanoha having some bubbling curiosity. :heh::heh:

But oh, well. And yeah, it won't get angsty for a little while more. A little, maybe, but that's probably it.

[Satashi]

On another note, while I do know the difference between shinai and bokken, does anyone know when and where which one will be used? @_@


I was actually just hoping to give the impression of Nanoha having some bubbling curiosity. :heh::heh:


A shinai is a bamboo sword shaped practice item. It's used in kendo and stuff. Made of several pieces of bamboo put together, it doesn't hurt real bad when you get hit with it. Perfect for sports. It's also loud when you get hit by it. Dunno it that's relevant or not tho.

A Bokken is a solid piece of wood shaped like a sword, it's used in actual sparing or solo katas and stuff.

I have both of them actually ^^

And I like the idea of Nanoha being curious, it fits her XD

[Satashi]

Double poooooooooooooooost!

I just realized I never psoted the original ending to Redemption VI, so here it is. This split off from the posted one at the very end, when Nanoha woke up


Nanoha slowly woke up and blinked her eyes a few times before remembering where she was. With a tender stretch to test her muscles she got off the couch and wiped her face with her hand. “Anyone up yet?” She inquired, greeted by silence. “Guess not,” She spoke aloud again before heading towards the stairs by feeling around. Once at the wall she trailed her fingers along it until the hand rail was found and slowly walked up them once she got her bearings about where she was. Part of her wondered if it was even morning yet, making her request Raising Heart to give her the time. Now satisfied with hearing it was indeed morning and the sun was up, she felt her way to her bedroom. Once there she stood at the door a few moments with her hand on the knob. Part of her wanted someone to catch her, make her go away from Fate's room and let her rest to avoid what was about to happen. The other part knew that would only delay what she had made up her mind about last night. After taking a steadying breath she turned the handle and peeked her head into the room. “Fate? You awake Sweetheart?”

“Mm,” The blond replied from the bed. “Been awake for a while but my body doesn't really want to listen to me.” Looking over at her, she smiled. “Come here, just walk straight.” Her lover did as she was told and reached out her hand to be taken once she was half way there. “A little more...there we are.” Carefully she urged Nanoha onto the bed and hugged her. “You have no idea how happy I am right now.”

“You have no idea how worried I am,” Nanoha replied in turn. “How could you think I was dead? Couldn't you feel me?” She got straight to the point before she lost all the willpower she had managed to build up inside of her.

Fate's joy left instantly but she answered anyway, having planned what she was going to say ever since she woke up. “I'm sorry. I know I should have but... When I got to the forwards their battle was already over. After that I came here and saw Yuuno and Hayate already defeated. When I went to you, I just... I don't know, I panicked. I was already too late twice and you wasn't moving... I'm sorry.” She let her head fall lightly and looked at the bed instead of at her fiancée

“Fate... Will you answer a question for me? Something I have been wanting to ask since I found out you was okay?”

“Yes?”

“Did you really...?”

“...Yes.” She closed her eyes sadly. “I snapped... I don't remember much of it...But enough.”

“...Why?”

“You know why.” Fate held her closer and almost started to cry. “Thinking that I lost you...”

“Fate,” Slowly Nanoha pulled back. “Did you stab yourself to kill him?”

“...Yes.”

“...Why?”

“Don't ask me that.”

“Fate,” Their words were repeating, trying to find some way to make this go about easier. “I can't handle this.”

“What?”

“This isn't the first time you've done something like this. Back then, on that snowy day, and again later on... When we were in Scaglietti's palace... Yesterday.”

Fate tried to hug Nanoha again but found her shoulders being eased back onto the bed. “Nanoha?”

“I can't do this, Fate. I thought about it all last night and I made up my mind depending on your answers.”

“What do you mean?” The blond's words were a little shaky now, fear trickling into her voice. “Nanoha?”

“You don't love yourself, Fate.” The words obviously pained her as well. “You rely too much on me, put too much on me being there. When it comes down to it, you always do the same thing...” She had to take a breath to steady herself. “You become like 'her' to get your revenge,” She could feel the pain her words caused to her partner. Becoming like her first mother was something that always scared the woman to no end. “And then you disregard your own life.”

“Nanoha,”

“I-” She interrupted quickly before she changed her mind. “I can't let you be like this. Fate, you have to realize what it's like to live for yourself. You always live your life through others: Taking care of children, devoting your time to helping people, the list goes on and on. But when it comes down to you, and just you, it's always the same. You sacrifice yourself needlessly with no regard for your own life.”

“But I lo-”

“I love you too.” Nanoha kissed Fate's hand. “That's why I must do this.”

“Nanoha I-”

“I'm sorry, Fate.” Nanoha was crying now. “We need time apart.”

“No, Sweetheart, lets talk about this-” Fate pushed herself up weakly and grabbed Nanoha before she had a chance to move. “We're engaged, we're going to have a family together!”

“Fate, listen to me.” Feeling her way up to Fate's face, she cupped her cheeks between her palms and felt her heart tighten when the warm salty water ran over her hands.. “You can't live a life with someone until you know what it's like to live for yourself. I want you to think about this, and understand what I mean. I love you more than I can say, so that's why I'm doing this.”

“No, please, I'll change, I promise, just let me-”

“I am, Honey. I'm letting you. But you can't rely on me to let you do this, you have to do it by yourself.”

“I need you!” Fate finally broke. “You-you saved me, I have to”

“Shhhh.” Nanoha hugged her and tried her best to push back her own sobs when Fate let loose against her chest.

“Please! I can't-”

“Yes you can.” Nanoha kissed Fate's hair and pulled away with some effort. “I know you can. From here on, I want you to show it to me okay?”

“No... no...”

“Do you understand what I want Honey?”

“I'm begging...”

“Fate?” Her words were gentle. “Answer me okay? Do you?” Slowly the blond nodded, tears not stopping. “Think about this and come to me when you find your answer okay?”

“But... But is this necessary...?”

“I caused this problem.” Nanoha kissed Fate's hand once more. “I never wanted anything to ever hurt the girl with the most beautiful eyes I've seen. Growing up I saw it but didn't want to risk losing you. You always lived for me, always took strength from my embrace. I knew it wasn't good for to rely on me completely but I didn't want to take a chance on anything. Now... now I see that it's gone too far. Please, Fate, be strong. Find out why you are alive. Remember the feelings you had when you chose to live for yourself for the first time back when we were so young. I want to know... That you love me for who I am and not because I saved you so long ago... That you love yourself as well and that I can have faith that you will continue along without me if I die.”

She couldn't answer, instead only coughing in her own tears. The warm hands around her slowly pulled back and she was left alone, falling onto the bed and crying into one of the pillows as her lover left the room slowly. The sound of the door clicking somehow made it to her ears and she only buried herself against the pillow harder, tears soaking into the fabric. “Nanoha...”

Once outside Nanoha leaned back against the door she had just closed and fought back the urge to run back into it. “Nanoha?” The sudden voice made her jump lightly. “I'm sorry.”

“Yuuno-kun” Nanoha looked towards the voice.

“Whoa, what's wrong?” Quickly he ran over to her. “Do you hurt? Something happen to Fate?” His hand went to the doorknob but found Nanoha moving to stop him. “What is it?”

“Can you...” She wiped her eyes quickly. “Take me for breakfast?”

Yuuno paused a moment, knowing in his gut that he was in for a rough morning. “Sure...Let's talk over it okay?”

“Yes, please.” She stood there a moment longer, wiping her eyes yet again. She heard a sob from inside the room and looked towards her childhood friend. “Quickly, if we can?”

“Come on,” He put a hand to her back and lead her down the stairs since Nanoha slept in her clothes from yesterday. Looking over his shoulder, he glanced towards the room where Fate was staying and swallowed to try and make his nervousness over what they were going to talk about go down some.

~**~

Hayate: The device being completed but we're not sure how effective it will be.

Yuuno: Our time is wearing thin, we have to act soon.

Tia: Nanoha is training us harder than I thought she would, even after our battle.

Elio: Fate-san... Why are you so sad?

Subaru: Three more weeks until the mage test, one more until our current situation is over.

Nanoha: Next time on Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha's 6th Division: Redemption: Preparations.

Fate: Why can't I be with you...?

[ghazghkull]

Double poooooooooooooooost!

I just realized I never psoted the original ending to Redemption VI, so here it is. This split off from the posted one at the very end, when Nanoha woke up


Nanoha slowly woke up and blinked her eyes a few times before remembering where she was. With a tender stretch to test her muscles she got off the couch and wiped her face with her hand. “Anyone up yet?” She inquired, greeted by silence. “Guess not,” She spoke aloud again before heading towards the stairs by feeling around. Once at the wall she trailed her fingers along it until the hand rail was found and slowly walked up them once she got her bearings about where she was. Part of her wondered if it was even morning yet, making her request Raising Heart to give her the time. Now satisfied with hearing it was indeed morning and the sun was up, she felt her way to her bedroom. Once there she stood at the door a few moments with her hand on the knob. Part of her wanted someone to catch her, make her go away from Fate's room and let her rest to avoid what was about to happen. The other part knew that would only delay what she had made up her mind about last night. After taking a steadying breath she turned the handle and peeked her head into the room. “Fate? You awake Sweetheart?”

“Mm,” The blond replied from the bed. “Been awake for a while but my body doesn't really want to listen to me.” Looking over at her, she smiled. “Come here, just walk straight.” Her lover did as she was told and reached out her hand to be taken once she was half way there. “A little more...there we are.” Carefully she urged Nanoha onto the bed and hugged her. “You have no idea how happy I am right now.”

“You have no idea how worried I am,” Nanoha replied in turn. “How could you think I was dead? Couldn't you feel me?” She got straight to the point before she lost all the willpower she had managed to build up inside of her.

Fate's joy left instantly but she answered anyway, having planned what she was going to say ever since she woke up. “I'm sorry. I know I should have but... When I got to the forwards their battle was already over. After that I came here and saw Yuuno and Hayate already defeated. When I went to you, I just... I don't know, I panicked. I was already too late twice and you wasn't moving... I'm sorry.” She let her head fall lightly and looked at the bed instead of at her fiancée

“Fate... Will you answer a question for me? Something I have been wanting to ask since I found out you was okay?”

“Yes?”

“Did you really...?”

“...Yes.” She closed her eyes sadly. “I snapped... I don't remember much of it...But enough.”

“...Why?”

“You know why.” Fate held her closer and almost started to cry. “Thinking that I lost you...”

“Fate,” Slowly Nanoha pulled back. “Did you stab yourself to kill him?”

“...Yes.”

“...Why?”

“Don't ask me that.”

“Fate,” Their words were repeating, trying to find some way to make this go about easier. “I can't handle this.”

“What?”

“This isn't the first time you've done something like this. Back then, on that snowy day, and again later on... When we were in Scaglietti's palace... Yesterday.”

Fate tried to hug Nanoha again but found her shoulders being eased back onto the bed. “Nanoha?”

“I can't do this, Fate. I thought about it all last night and I made up my mind depending on your answers.”

“What do you mean?” The blond's words were a little shaky now, fear trickling into her voice. “Nanoha?”

“You don't love yourself, Fate.” The words obviously pained her as well. “You rely too much on me, put too much on me being there. When it comes down to it, you always do the same thing...” She had to take a breath to steady herself. “You become like 'her' to get your revenge,” She could feel the pain her words caused to her partner. Becoming like her first mother was something that always scared the woman to no end. “And then you disregard your own life.”

“Nanoha,”

“I-” She interrupted quickly before she changed her mind. “I can't let you be like this. Fate, you have to realize what it's like to live for yourself. You always live your life through others: Taking care of children, devoting your time to helping people, the list goes on and on. But when it comes down to you, and just you, it's always the same. You sacrifice yourself needlessly with no regard for your own life.”

“But I lo-”

“I love you too.” Nanoha kissed Fate's hand. “That's why I must do this.”

“Nanoha I-”

“I'm sorry, Fate.” Nanoha was crying now. “We need time apart.”

“No, Sweetheart, lets talk about this-” Fate pushed herself up weakly and grabbed Nanoha before she had a chance to move. “We're engaged, we're going to have a family together!”

“Fate, listen to me.” Feeling her way up to Fate's face, she cupped her cheeks between her palms and felt her heart tighten when the warm salty water ran over her hands.. “You can't live a life with someone until you know what it's like to live for yourself. I want you to think about this, and understand what I mean. I love you more than I can say, so that's why I'm doing this.”

“No, please, I'll change, I promise, just let me-”

“I am, Honey. I'm letting you. But you can't rely on me to let you do this, you have to do it by yourself.”

“I need you!” Fate finally broke. “You-you saved me, I have to”

“Shhhh.” Nanoha hugged her and tried her best to push back her own sobs when Fate let loose against her chest.

“Please! I can't-”

“Yes you can.” Nanoha kissed Fate's hair and pulled away with some effort. “I know you can. From here on, I want you to show it to me okay?”

“No... no...”

“Do you understand what I want Honey?”

“I'm begging...”

“Fate?” Her words were gentle. “Answer me okay? Do you?” Slowly the blond nodded, tears not stopping. “Think about this and come to me when you find your answer okay?”

“But... But is this necessary...?”

“I caused this problem.” Nanoha kissed Fate's hand once more. “I never wanted anything to ever hurt the girl with the most beautiful eyes I've seen. Growing up I saw it but didn't want to risk losing you. You always lived for me, always took strength from my embrace. I knew it wasn't good for to rely on me completely but I didn't want to take a chance on anything. Now... now I see that it's gone too far. Please, Fate, be strong. Find out why you are alive. Remember the feelings you had when you chose to live for yourself for the first time back when we were so young. I want to know... That you love me for who I am and not because I saved you so long ago... That you love yourself as well and that I can have faith that you will continue along without me if I die.”

She couldn't answer, instead only coughing in her own tears. The warm hands around her slowly pulled back and she was left alone, falling onto the bed and crying into one of the pillows as her lover left the room slowly. The sound of the door clicking somehow made it to her ears and she only buried herself against the pillow harder, tears soaking into the fabric. “Nanoha...”

Once outside Nanoha leaned back against the door she had just closed and fought back the urge to run back into it. “Nanoha?” The sudden voice made her jump lightly. “I'm sorry.”

“Yuuno-kun” Nanoha looked towards the voice.

“Whoa, what's wrong?” Quickly he ran over to her. “Do you hurt? Something happen to Fate?” His hand went to the doorknob but found Nanoha moving to stop him. “What is it?”

“Can you...” She wiped her eyes quickly. “Take me for breakfast?”

Yuuno paused a moment, knowing in his gut that he was in for a rough morning. “Sure...Let's talk over it okay?”

“Yes, please.” She stood there a moment longer, wiping her eyes yet again. She heard a sob from inside the room and looked towards her childhood friend. “Quickly, if we can?”

“Come on,” He put a hand to her back and lead her down the stairs since Nanoha slept in her clothes from yesterday. Looking over his shoulder, he glanced towards the room where Fate was staying and swallowed to try and make his nervousness over what they were going to talk about go down some.

~**~

Hayate: The device being completed but we're not sure how effective it will be.

Yuuno: Our time is wearing thin, we have to act soon.

Tia: Nanoha is training us harder than I thought she would, even after our battle.

Elio: Fate-san... Why are you so sad?

Subaru: Three more weeks until the mage test, one more until our current situation is over.

Nanoha: Next time on Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha's 6th Division: Redemption: Preparations.

Fate: Why can't I be with you...?

wow...I personally would've liked either ending...but wow...damn that hurts XD

oh here here's the link to my one-shot which i've edited a bit. Spirtual Garden (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3886914/1/Spiritual_Garden)
enjoy ^^

Mind you, Fate's a tad bit OOC in this.

[Satashi]

I liked that ending a lot but it majorly conflicted with Nanoha just chapters earlier sayign how much she needed Fate to get by sooooo >.< Had to re-write it.

I wanna do a N/F break up fic tho.

[edit] Woot, page claim! Also, we hit over 4,000 post! Congrats everyone!

[ghazghkull]

I liked that ending a lot but it majorly conflicted with Nanoha just chapters earlier sayign how much she needed Fate to get by sooooo >.< Had to re-write it.

I wanna do a N/F break up fic tho.

[edit] Woot, page claim! Also, we hit over 4,000 post! Congrats everyone!

Yay!! *Dances around in celebration* We've hit 4k in posts ^^

I don't know if I'd be really eager to read it...I was never one to appreciate break-ups, especially since I have four under my belt atm T.T

[Satashi]

Yay!! *Dances around in celebration* We've hit 4k in posts ^^

I don't know if I'd be really eager to read it...I was never one to appreciate break-ups, especially since I have four under my belt atm T.T

they're never fun T_T

I remember once I was broken up with at school and I was crying in my next period of class. My brother's friend saw me and talked to me a while ( he was late for his class too) and he went to the office and told them I was sick and called my mom and she came to pick me up so I could go home. That's a good friend there.

[ghazghkull]

they're never fun T_T

I remember once I was broken up with at school and I was crying in my next period of class. My brother's friend saw me and talked to me a while ( he was late for his class too) and he went to the office and told them I was sick and called my mom and she came to pick me up so I could go home. That's a good friend there.

My worst break-up happened right at my doorstep.

I was pretty heart-broken, ended up doing the last thing I wanted to do: just crash on my bed and cry.

Sadly it was before I had taken up fanfiction writing, but that would've been really cool in a sense, because then I could've taken some of my frustrations out by writing. At least I got some new models that night because my mom felt sorry for me XD

[BPHaru]

I liked that ending a lot but it majorly conflicted with Nanoha just chapters earlier sayign how much she needed Fate to get by sooooo >.< Had to re-write it.

I wanna do a N/F break up fic tho.

Angst and drama is always welcomed, but if you want to make Nanoha and Fate break up we NEED a good end afterwards, otherwise it could be as fun as that day in your school. I don't want to see myself calling my mom for psychological comfort after reading that fic xD

Saludos, Haru

[Satashi]

Angst and drama is always welcomed, but if you want to make Nanoha and Fate break up we NEED a good end afterwards, otherwise it could be as fun as that day in your school. I don't want to see myself calling my mom for psychological comfort after reading that fic xD

Saludos, Haru

Name one fic I've done that didn't end happily.

.......oh wait.....

dang you Eagle! T_T

[ghazghkull]

Angst and drama is always welcomed, but if you want to make Nanoha and Fate break up we NEED a good end afterwards, otherwise it could be as fun as that day in your school. I don't want to see myself calling my mom for psychological comfort after reading that fic xD

Saludos, Haru

Oh yeah definitely. Considering how you are the god/goddess of Nanoha/Fate pairings, you are bound to scar a few people, even if it's unintentional XD

[Eagle8819]

Name one fic I've done that didn't end happily.

.......oh wait.....

dang you Eagle! T_T

Me? D:

But...but I'm innocent! :upset:

[ghazghkull]

Me? D:

But...but I'm innocent! :upset:

LOL there there, *pat pat* You didn't do wrong, except remind Satashi-sama of the fact Satashi-sama has written a story that ended sadly XD

[beddo9]

@ghazghkull: I like that one-shot ^^
please keep up the great work:nod:

I wanna do a N/F break up fic tho.

I hope I don't need any tissues after reading it:heh:
Me? D:

But...but I'm innocent! :upset:
No, you are not, Eagle-san:heh:
because I still remember how red my eyes became after reading TBS:upset:

[BPHaru]

Name one fic I've done that didn't end happily.

All your Nanoha or Fate x someone else...

.......oh wait.....

dang you Eagle! T_T

And that one too.

[Satashi]

All your Nanoha or Fate x someone else...


Those weren't sad, Nanoha getting laid by Yuuno is awesome. If he can get some, it gives other people (chaos) hope for the future!

[ghazghkull]

I just read it again...DAMN IT EAGLE!!!

I ACTUALLY SHED A FEW TEARS, ESPECIALLY SINCE I WAS LISTENING TO Eva by Nightwish AS IT READ IT T.T

DAMN YOU!!!! >.<

[Eagle8819]

...Eheh. :heh: :heh:

I really should say sorry about that but...to be honest, I don't really feel sorry at all. >.>

*hides*

And I did recommend a certain song for the fic in question, but looks like you got a pretty good song of your own.

...Actually, I would still recommend that song I used. Mostly because it may really, really remind you of the sky; as it did for me. And the beat of the song really suits Nanoha's feelings at then: Skellig, by Loreena McKennitt.

[krisslanza]

@ghazghkull: I like that one-shot ^^
please keep up the great work:nod:

I hope I don't need any tissues after reading it:heh:

No, you are not, Eagle-san:heh:
because I still remember how red my eyes became after reading TBS:upset:

But... If you don't cry while reading it, isn't the emotion in the fic missed? :uhoh:

[BPHaru]

Those weren't sad, Nanoha getting laid by Yuuno is awesome. If he can get some, it gives other people (chaos) hope for the future!
Are you sure Satashi? Those fics made me feel sadder than when I read “The Blue Sky” by Eagle, so you can't say that those weren't sad.
I'm sorry, I can't understand the second part of your post.

[krisslanza]

I think the point was seeing anything but NxF everywhere gives Chaos hope that in the future people will write other pairings? /guess

[Satashi]

I think the point was seeing anything but NxF everywhere gives Chaos hope that in the future people will write other pairings? /guess

No, I'm saying the chances of him getting lucky in his love life is less likely than Yuuno scoring a lucky night with all three aces at the same time :P *is mean*

anyway, to get back on topic.

Nanoha looked across the couch, eying the blond slowly nibbling on the brownie. "Staaaaarrrrrrrreeee....."

Fate felt herself sweat drop lightly. "...."

"Stttttttaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreeeeeee....."

Fate looked to the left and met Nanoha's peircing gaze. "Would you... like a bite?"

"Yes please." Nanoha quickly scooted closer and happily bit into the offered treat. "How did you know?"

Fate scratched her cheek. "Just call it a hunch..."

[ghazghkull]

No, I'm saying the chances of him getting lucky in his love life is less likely than Yuuno scoring a lucky night with all three aces at the same time :P *is mean*

anyway, to get back on topic.

Nanoha looked across the couch, eying the blond slowly nibbling on the brownie. "Staaaaarrrrrrrreeee....."

Fate felt herself sweat drop lightly. "...."

"Stttttttaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreeeeeee....."

Fate looked to the left and met Nanoha's peircing gaze. "Would you... like a bite?"

"Yes please." Nanoha quickly scooted closer and happily bit into the offered treat. "How did you know?"

Fate scratched her cheek. "Just call it a hunch..."

*Giggles* That's cute ^^

[ghazghkull]

DOUBLE POST!!!

Here's a little one-shot I wrote up about Vita.


Iron Knight

I failed.

I screwed up.

I’m a failure.

I’m no knight.

I’m just washed up.

I failed to protect Hayate. She ended up getting hurt by the Book of Darkness. It nearly destroyed her when it took over her body and used her as a weapon. She almost lost her soul to it.

I failed to protect Nanoha. I just turned my back for just a moment at that moment she had dropped her guard, and look where it ended up sending her; to a hospital, where she spent almost a year trying to recover.

And now here I failed. I screwed up. I couldn’t destroy the engine.

And here I am now, lying on the very deck I had leapt off of to take on that damn engine. What’s left of Graf Eisen isn’t too far, but what’s the point of picking him up now? I’m all out of cartridges, and we’re all out of strength to even get up and try again. I don’t even know if he could even reform his Destructor form again.

As a knight, I had sworn to protect Hayate. We had also sworn to protect her friends; much good that oath did for me. I failed, three times now. I couldn’t bring down the engine to let them stop this thing. I couldn’t protect Hayate. I couldn’t protect Nanoha. I couldn’t protect anyone.

I’m a failure.

“Meine Entschuldigungen.” Graf Eisen? You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry. I broke you.

What’s that cracking noise?

It’s…it’s the engine! We, we did it! We did it Eisen!

“Ja. Mission vollendete.”

Yeah. “Mission completed.”

After all: We are Vita the Iron and the Iron Count Graf Eisen. Together, we can break anything.

I only have two regrets: I couldn’t help out Nanoha, and I couldn’t see Hayate one last time.

Meine Entschuldigungen = My apologies
Ja. Mission vollendete. = Yes. Mission completed.

[krisslanza]

I agree it's cute. xD
And now I want a brownie... ;3;

@gahz:
Nice one-shot. I think it's appropriate in some ways... A few typos here and there but, it's ok :heh:

[ghazghkull]

I agree it's cute. xD
And now I want a brownie... ;3;

@gahz:
Nice one-shot. I think it's appropriate in some ways... A few typos here and there but, it's ok :heh:

fixed i have indeed ^^

[beddo9]

Nanoha looked across the couch, eying the blond slowly nibbling on the brownie. "Staaaaarrrrrrrreeee....."

Fate felt herself sweat drop lightly. "...."

"Stttttttaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreeeeeee....."

Fate looked to the left and met Nanoha's peircing gaze. "Would you... like a bite?"

"Yes please." Nanoha quickly scooted closer and happily bit into the offered treat. "How did you know?"

Fate scratched her cheek. "Just call it a hunch..."
oh my, that's so cutehttp://img401.imageshack.us/img401/4485/04xr5.gif (http://imageshack.us)
DOUBLE POST!!!

Here's a little one-shot I wrote up about Vita.


Iron Knight

I failed.

I screwed up.

I’m a failure.

I’m no knight.

I’m just washed up.

I failed to protect Hayate. She ended up getting hurt by the Book of Darkness. It nearly destroyed her when it took over her body and used her as a weapon. She almost lost her soul to it.

I failed to protect Nanoha. I just turned my back for just a moment at that moment she had dropped her guard, and look where it ended up sending her; to a hospital, where she spent almost a year trying to recover.

And now here I failed. I screwed up. I couldn’t destroy the engine.

And here I am now, lying on the very deck I had leapt off of to take on that damn engine. What’s left of Graf Eisen isn’t too far, but what’s the point of picking him up now? I’m all out of cartridges, and we’re all out of strength to even get up and try again. I don’t even know if he could even reform his Destructor form again.

As a knight, I had sworn to protect Hayate. We had also sworn to protect her friends; much good that oath did for me. I failed, three times now. I couldn’t bring down the engine to let them stop this thing. I couldn’t protect Hayate. I couldn’t protect Nanoha. I couldn’t protect anyone.

I’m a failure.

“Meine Entschuldigungen.” Graf Eisen? You don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should be sorry. I broke you.

What’s that cracking noise?

It’s…it’s the engine! We, we did it! We did it Eisen!

“Ja. Mission vollendete.”

Yeah. “Mission completed.”

After all: We are Vita the Iron and the Iron Count Graf Eisen. Together, we can break anything.

I only have two regrets: I couldn’t help out Nanoha, and I couldn’t see Hayate one last time.

Meine Entschuldigungen = My apologies
Ja. Mission vollendete. = Yes. Mission completed.


a very nice one-shot indeed ^^

[USB500]

Well guys, it's been fun but the writer's guild is on strike and I'm striking with them. No more fics from me.

"Did you hear the news?" Nanoha asked Fate as she walked up to the group of people eating lunch together. "All the writers in the writer's guild are on strike! Satashi went with them!"

"Really?" Fate took the offered paper and glanced over it while eating her taco. "Hmmm.... Wow, I wonder what we'll do now that she isn't writing?"

"She?" Hayate asked. "I thought Satashi was a guy?"

"Isn't he?" Tia looked over at them.

Subaru waved it off. "No,no, Satashi is a girl, for sure. But anyway, are we out of a job?"

Nanoha sighed. "Well, we lost our main employer... Jut as well, she always made me out to be a nymphomaniac."

"You ARE a nymph." Fate informed her.

"Well she doesn't have to make it KNOWN."

"Hmmm...." Hayate leaned back in her chair, no longer eating her meal. "I suppose we could apply for the OC thread.

Elio almost choked on his drink. "You have ANY idea of the cheese that's in there!?"

Subaru nodded. "I don't want to go anywhere near that place."



After Keroko's post...

Erio: Sensei... lives there? :confused:
Teana: Who said that? :twitch:

?????: The ones from another timeline.



*a group of people bust through the roof into the FF thread*



Kha: Erio, look deep within you. You know you are one of us.

Erio: The Pen is my soul... (Strada pulses with a burst of mana) Yes, I remember, Meister! :)

Keroko-chan: :nod: Taking your wishes of fandom and making it a reality! ;)

Nighty: (runs a finger along his fringe) Infusing EPICSICUM into every project we do... :cool:

Aaron008R: Growing yet protecting the Nanohaverse into the greatness it could've been! :mad:

LoweGear: We are who we are! :D

Kha: (pulls down [Surestrike Goggles 2.0] and points into the sky)

TENGEN TOPPA OUTER-CADIA

All: ORETACHI WO, DARE DA TO OMOETTE YAGARU! :frustrated:

Join us in the Cheese...

Both of you forgot me. :( :( :( :(

*sulks in dark corner*

Oh, well, at least I still have this (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3764300/4/) updated. :nod:

[Ottocycle]

Winning HAPPY YAROU is WIN. Best reference evar.

Only Shark Fujishiro's version though.

[USB500]

Winning HAPPY YAROU is WIN. Best reference evar.

Only Shark Fujishiro's version though.
Glad you noticed the reference. :D

For records, like Magical Girl Lyrical Cinderella, casts from other anime series will show up as a cameo. This time, Gun x Sword & Seto no Hanayome people will come up.

Of course, we'll also have Yuunodas for greater justice. :nod: :bow:

[Ottocycle]

:bow: GxS?! Oh yeah that's one underloved series! Who's gonna spell Van's name wrong this time? How many bottles of seaso-

I guess I should stop spoiling. *Goes to reminisce while listening to that godly Dann summoning theme*

And as you've proved with HAPPY YAROU, SnH references, along with their characters will be terribly fun.
Will NaGARsumi usurp Yuunodas? RAWR. XD

[USB500]

last post before going home.
:bow: GxS?! Oh yeah that's one underloved series! Who's gonna spell Van's name wrong this time? How many bottles of seaso-

I guess I should stop spoiling. *Goes to reminisce while listening to that godly Dann summoning theme*

And as you've proved with HAPPY YAROU, SnH references, along with their characters will be terribly fun.
Will NaGARsumi usurp Yuunodas? RAWR. XD

1: yeah, and it's underrated too. :mad:

*is watching the Animax rerun ATM :nod: and gawd, GAR grandpas are GAR*

2: it should be. :nod: but I can't tell you on NaGARsumi/Yuunodas duel yet. :heh: :eyespin:

[Satashi]

@USB-chan: I did not forget you, look a few post down from that, I made a comment that I was going to put you in the parody D:!!!!

No faith T_T

[Kirika-chan]

I liked that ending a lot but it majorly conflicted with Nanoha just chapters earlier sayign how much she needed Fate to get by sooooo >.< Had to re-write it.

I wanna do a N/F break up fic tho.


I like this part too ... But I don't want that Nanoha and Fate split up >_> (if I definitely understood ^^")

And, they are engaged no? T.T please Satashi don't write this >.<
... In fact, you are the artist, so, you write this that you want... XD... But I just say my opinion :D

[Satashi]

I like this part too ... But I don't want that Nanoha and Fate split up >_> (if I definitely understood ^^")

And, they are engaged no? T.T please Satashi don't write this >.<
... In fact, you are the artist, so, you write this that you want... XD... But I just say my opinion :D

Don't worry, that was the original thing, but I changed it. The offical ending of the chapter is already posted, so they arn't gonna break up :3

[Demon Eyes]

I liked that ending a lot but it majorly conflicted with Nanoha just chapters earlier sayign how much she needed Fate to get by sooooo >.< Had to re-write it.

I wanna do a N/F break up fic tho.

[edit] Woot, page claim! Also, we hit over 4,000 post! Congrats everyone!

I'm not sure I want!

If there is a happy ending afterwards, then by all means, I will shade all the tears needed to.

If BAD END! Definitely Do NOT WANT!

And the only BAD END is if after the breakup Nanoha ends up with Yuuno!

....................

Whew, It's been a while since I did anything inter related!

Not fics. No Vecs. Nothing!

I thought that being in College was all that from what've I've been hearing but It Ain't.

I now appreciate the meaning of Free Time!

Sigh!

by the way BPHaru, you've been busy I see. I saw you started a few threads in Yamibo.

Very much appreciated.

Best NxF doujins you've got there.

Keep up the great work.

I think I wouldn't be wrong to label you the No.01 NxF Otaku(Though it pains me for I wanted to be that person. Damn you!*Grins*)

[Nightengale]

Unlike the majority here, I think a break-up fic is potentially good, so long as there's a good investment of emotion into it, that makes the stomach feel uncomfortable. It can be F/N, or anyone else for that matter, but a fic that demonstrates emotional negativity between 2 planotic friends or lovers must be powerful, otherwise it'd feel quite forced.

Recently watching CF SIN... man, the emotional rift in that show was gripping.

[Kikaifan]

Alright, I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing so I thought I'd run this story concept/characterization/writing style by you all for criticism before I get any further. If anyone's particularly enthused or vexed by any of it I'd like to hear from you!

Signum always knew life was about to become a lot more complicated than she liked when Hayate got that look on her face.

Her comrades didn’t seem to have the same finely-tuned danger sense. Why would they? Vita was too in love with Hayate, Zafira too doggedly (ha, ha) loyal, and Shamal too sympathetic to her sense of humor to mind any of their master’s whims. To them, there was no danger to detect. Signum was a little different though. Perhaps it was that as leader of the Wolkenritter she was expected to interpret the master’s orders and had been granted more independence to that end. Perhaps it was simply a matter of a more distant personality, or greater pride than was to be found in the other knights.

But whatever the cause, when she saw Hayate like this the sense of loyalty the sight of the young woman usually evoked in her was tempered by a distinct feeling of resignation. She was every inch a vision of stern authority; one hand on her hip and the other holding out the data-slate like the King’s own writ, her face graven. Every inch, that was, but for her eyes, which sparkled with amusement. Signum could well have become lost in that joy, were it not such a clear portent of troubles for her.

And for the fact that next to her master stood Testarossa, face in its usual benign cast but still definitely amused. Testarossa’s presence changed things. Being teased by Hayate wasn’t Signum’s favorite use for her time, but when it was done it would be done and she always found it easy to forgive her master what was, after all, merely the product of her good humor. With Testarossa she kept a running score and there was potential for lasting humiliation.

“What would you have of me?” Her voice betrayed none of her trepidation, though in its own way the choice of words certainly did. She knew seriousness would only encourage Hayate, but it helped her deal with these little ordeals. And she’d beat Laevateinn into a plowshare before she’d gripe about anything, anything at all, in front of Testarossa.

“Read this.” Hayate commanded as she stepped forward and handed the slate to her, then stepped back. Signum did not fail to note that Hayate’s eyes shot over to Testarossa’s as soon as she thought Signum was reading, nor the resulting smile the two shared. She did not quite sigh, but there was the suggestion of one in the way she closed her eyes before she began to read.

To her immense relief, the data-slate contained a mission profile. Whatever was so amusing her master, it would at least fall within the bounds of the Bureau’s activities. She skimmed over the profile- politically sensitive hostage situation, combat expected. Opposing forces, ‘see details’… that sounded promising. And the location was a special administration world, one of the Belkan protectorates. She didn’t see what was funny about any of this, but it sounded like a worthy mission for her. Why were they…?

The only warning came when she thumbed the slate over to the mission details. They referred the reader to the original request from the protectorate government, and instead of additional intelligence or an analysis there was simply a short preface from the Midchildan consular general which in incredibly self-conscious language related that the following information had been confirmed by the local Bureau staff, was completely serious, and was to be read as such. Frowning (and ignoring what sounded suspiciously like poorly-stifled giggles from Hayate drifting over from the opposite side of the slate), she opened the request.

It was… attention-grabbing. For one thing, it actually was the writ of a King. For another, it related in perfect seriousness the kidnapping of said King’s daughter. By a dragon. There was a formally-worded request for the Investigation Department’s expertise in such unusual cases in there somewhere, but Signum barely noticed it.

She stared at the data-slate. Some of her incredulity must have shown on her face, because Hayate chose that moment to make her opinion known.

“Isn’t it perfect, Signum?” Hayate beamed. Off to the side, Testarossa laughed lightly, a pleasant sound that nonetheless made Signum feel slightly ill.

“It is… unique.” So this was it. Somewhere, somehow, a scenario straight out of some old fairy-tale had been given life, and Hayate, out of a sense of romanticism or irony or something, had felt compelled to complete the arrangement with the addition of the proverbial Knight in Shining Armor.

“This request is very important,” Hayate began with a finger upraised. It was a touch sanctimonious, in Signum’s opinion. Obviously she intended to preempt any argument. “Besides the hostage herself, there’s been growing separatist sentiment on Erswin and our relations have suffered over the last few years. A request for the Bureau’s aid in a highly-visible situation like this is a rare opportunity for us to improve our image there, and having a knight lead the effort will remind the populace that Midchilda is still the center of Belkan culture. I’d like you to be that knight.”

As if that hadn't been perfectly clear from the beginning.

“Surely one of the Church Knights would suffice,” Signum countered. “I have my duties on Midchilda to attend to.” Not that Hayate would bother to ask unless she'd cleared it first. Hayate only asked for things she couldn't have when it was part of a strategy to get something else she really wanted.

“Ah-ah,” the finger wagged, and Signum felt dishearteningly like a child being scolded. “We can’t offer them anything but our best in this situation. Colonel Meyer agrees. And besides, you’ve been to Erswin before.”

So she remembered. Signum’s resistance collapsed. As ridiculous as the whole thing was, she had to admit it was a task she was uniquely well-suited to. And it would make her master happy. Surely she should see it as an opportunity…

Hayate sensed victory and put a hand on Signum’s shoulder, façade crumbling as she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “Who knows, maybe the King will give you his daughter’s hand in marriage? Carim and everybody agree you’re the handsomest Knight.”

Signum could have ignored that comment had not Testarossa, still enjoying the show from the sidelines, suddenly taken on a slightly flustered appearance and failed to meet her eyes. It was somehow worse than any comment the woman could have made.

“Very well.” She agreed, already planning a measure of revenge. “Erio and Carol are on Midchilda right now, aren’t they?

[Kirika-chan]

Don't worry, that was the original thing, but I changed it. The offical ending of the chapter is already posted, so they arn't gonna break up :3

Haaaa.... Thank you very much... I'm so relieved now ... :D

And, when are you post the end of Redemption? (I know that you have the HxY fic first, but I'm wonder... ^^')

Oh, I even did not say that you make a good job with this part Satashi >_> sorry, but it's made now :p

And Eagle, "Impasse" is really great ^^ (I want the next >.< who is it in the phone?? XD)
Good job too ;)

[ghazghkull]

If anyone's interested, I had just recently posted two one-shots on ff.net.

They are: Spiritual Garden (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3886914/1/Spiritual_Garden) and Iron Knight (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3887203/1/Iron_Knight)

Not sure if you guys read them yet, but take a look :) Both are really simple drabble-fics, especially Iron Knight :)

[Satashi]

And the only BAD END is if after the breakup Nanoha ends up with Yuuno!


I wanna do that now, just because you said that. One thing you got to learn when talking around me, if you insult Yuuno, I'm just gonna do more Yuunoha.

[ghazghkull]

I wanna do that now, just because you said that. One thing you got to learn when talking around me, if you insult Yuuno, I'm just gonna do more Yuunoha.

LOL Indeed.

It's one thing to say you don't like the pairing. It's another when you insult one of the two parties within that pairing XD

I for one don't have too much appreciation for the pairing, BUT, as a character, Yuuno is awesome :D

I mean, how many librarians are there who can just sit in one spot, and uses their magic to summon books they might need, or leaf through 5 or 6 books in one go, without lifting so much as a finger?! XD

I know there's a lot of other things about Yuuno that makes him cool in my book, but that just stands out the best, since I just rewatched Nanoha A's XD

[Keroko]

I know there's a lot of other things about Yuuno that makes him cool in my book, but that just stands out the best, since I just rewatched Nanoha A's XD

... That stands out? What about him holding of Vita singlehandedly? Without a device?

[ghazghkull]

I wanna do that now, just because you said that. One thing you got to learn when talking around me, if you insult Yuuno, I'm just gonna do more Yuunoha.

... That stands out? What about him holding of Vita singlehandedly? Without a device?

*Shrugs*

I have no comment on his combat prowess. Although commendable, but meh. In my book, a good support is one who can pull last minute aces out of his sleeves and come up with an ingenious plan.

IF he was the one who came up with the idea of hurling the damn thing into space, I'd credit his ability to hold of Vita. Commendable, but not noteworthy in my book.

As I said, that's in terms of his combat prowess.

Besides, I'd say Nanoha takes the cake in that episode, considering she was still able to successfully discharge Starlight Breaker, despite the fact she had a gapping hole in her chest, with Shamal's hand coming out of said hole XD despite the fact that she had collapsed after discharging the energy. XD

[Satashi]

True Yuuno's combat stats are commendable. I mean, he held off Jewel seeds (which had an entire force sent out to capture them) and his knowledge of magic was pretty good at the time, considering he trained Nanoha. Also he did hold off Vita, without a device, after Vita smote Nanoha a new one. On top of all that he can gather information really fast, and his knowledge is outstandingly useful. To top it off he cares a lot for others and even set out on a death mission yo recover the jewel seeds that were scattered. You got to give the man credit for all that.

I think people who don't like him are just jealous of how good of a character he is and are scared he'll take Nanoha away from Fate, and they're not a couple anyway. I respect all relationships (hell I ship off all three aces with Yuuno, as well as NanoFate) So it kinda irks me as a writer to see people write off Yuuno because they only like N/F pairings.

[Edit] Woot, page claim!

[ghazghkull]

True Yuuno's combat stats are commendable. I mean, he held off Jewel seeds (which had an entire force sent out to capture them) and his knowledge of magic was pretty good at the time, considering he trained Nanoha. Also he did hold off Vita, without a device, after Vita smote Nanoha a new one. On top of all that he can gather information really fast, and his knowledge is outstandingly useful. To top it off he cares a lot for others and even set out on a death mission yo recover the jewel seeds that were scattered. You got to give the man credit for all that.

I think people who don't like him are just jealous of how good of a character he is and are scared he'll take Nanoha away from Fate, and they're not a couple anyway. I respect all relationships (hell I ship off all three aces with Yuuno, as well as NanoFate) So it kinda irks me as a writer to see people write off Yuuno because they only like N/F pairings.

[Edit] Woot, page claim!

Unfortunately people are like that.

I just don't like Yuuno/Nanoha pairing because I don't see it going that far. The way I see it, the relationship Yuuno and Nanoha have is more like a close-sibling relationship. At least that's my personal interpretation of the pairing. Others may perceive it as a possible love relationship, but me, I don't see it happening.

Canon-wise, Yunno/Hayate?! LOL now that is hard to see because despite the fact Hayate may or may not need a love life, she's dedicated to her work. Heck, she's practically married to her work from what I can tell throughout the series. But hey, this is fanfiction, anything can happen XD

Hence why I respect the Yunno/Nanoha pairing. If done well, and can give enough grounds for the relationship in their story, more power to them ^^

[Satashi]

Unfortunately people are like that.

I just don't like Yuuno/Nanoha pairing because I don't see it going that far. The way I see it, the relationship Yuuno and Nanoha have is more like a close-sibling relationship. At least that's my personal interpretation of the pairing. Others may perceive it as a possible love relationship, but me, I don't see it happening.

Canon-wise, Yunno/Hayate?! LOL now that is hard to see because despite the fact Hayate may or may not need a love life, she's dedicated to her work. Heck, she's practically married to her work from what I can tell throughout the series. But hey, this is fanfiction, anything can happen XD

Hence why I respect the Yunno/Nanoha pairing. If done well, and can give enough grounds for the relationship in their story, more power to them ^^

Ah, I don't like Hayate/Yuuno in anything other than my 6th Division storyline. I built it up from there and there it shall stay :3

Although, fanfic wise, anything can go I still like tweaking things a little. AKA not making everyone so work focused.

[ghazghkull]

Ah, I don't like Hayate/Yuuno in anything other than my 6th Division storyline. I built it up from there and there it shall stay :3

Although, fanfic wise, anything can go I still like tweaking things a little. AKA not making everyone so work focused.

That's the beauty of fanfictions. We can tweak the storyline and the characters in anyway we like it. However, the trick is to tweak them in a believable way that's considered in character, considering how they have set personalities, quirks, etc that makes them who their are.

That's also the fun/frustrating part of fanfiction over original works. The writer is working with a set personality, so they have to work it into their own works to make it turn out right.

[Satashi]

That's the beauty of fanfictions. We can tweak the storyline and the characters in anyway we like it. However, the trick is to tweak them in a believable way that's considered in character, considering how they have set personalities, quirks, etc that makes them who their are.

That's also the fun/frustrating part of fanfiction over original works. The writer is working with a set personality, so they have to work it into their own works to make it turn out right.

Unless you have a long enough story to where you can change them however you see fit. That's a plus about 6th Division being so long, I had plenty of time to change people into what I wanted them

[ghazghkull]

Unless you have a long enough story to where you can change them however you see fit. That's a plus about 6th Division being so long, I had plenty of time to change people into what I wanted them

Yup ^^

*Splashes cold water at Satashi-sama's avatar.* I thought Fate-san could use the cold shower XD I mean look at her face! XD

[Satashi]

I have a short done that just came out of nowhere @_@ At first I thought it would be simple and fast but it ended up being 1.6k words long, wtf? I tried to be like USB-chan and did a play but mine's a musical! XDDD As soon as he replies to my PM I'll post the story :3

[Ottocycle]

Alright, I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing so I thought I'd run this story concept/characterization/writing style by you all for criticism before I get any further. If anyone's particularly enthused or vexed by any of it I'd like to hear from you!

Signum always knew life was about to become a lot more complicated than she liked when Hayate got that look on her face.

Her comrades didn’t seem to have the same finely-tuned danger sense. Why would they? Vita was too in love with Hayate, Zafira too doggedly (ha, ha) loyal, and Shamal too sympathetic to her sense of humor to mind any of their master’s whims. To them, there was no danger to detect. Signum was a little different though. Perhaps it was that as leader of the Wolkenritter she was expected to interpret the master’s orders and had been granted more independence to that end. Perhaps it was simply a matter of a more distant personality, or greater pride than was to be found in the other knights.

But whatever the cause, when she saw Hayate like this the sense of loyalty the sight of the young woman usually evoked in her was tempered by a distinct feeling of resignation. She was every inch a vision of stern authority; one hand on her hip and the other holding out the data-slate like the King’s own writ, her face graven. Every inch, that was, but for her eyes, which sparkled with amusement. Signum could well have become lost in that joy, were it not such a clear portent of troubles for her.

And for the fact that next to her master stood Testarossa, face in its usual benign cast but still definitely amused. Testarossa’s presence changed things. Being teased by Hayate wasn’t Signum’s favorite use for her time, but when it was done it would be done and she always found it easy to forgive her master what was, after all, merely the product of her good humor. With Testarossa she kept a running score and there was potential for lasting humiliation.

“What would you have of me?” Her voice betrayed none of her trepidation, though in its own way the choice of words certainly did. She knew seriousness would only encourage Hayate, but it helped her deal with these little ordeals. And she’d beat Laevateinn into a plowshare before she’d gripe about anything, anything at all, in front of Testarossa.

“Read this.” Hayate commanded as she stepped forward and handed the slate to her, then stepped back. Signum did not fail to note that Hayate’s eyes shot over to Testarossa’s as soon as she thought Signum was reading, nor the resulting smile the two shared. She did not quite sigh, but there was the suggestion of one in the way she closed her eyes before she began to read.

To her immense relief, the data-slate contained a mission profile. Whatever was so amusing her master, it would at least fall within the bounds of the Bureau’s activities. She skimmed over the profile- politically sensitive hostage situation, combat expected. Opposing forces, ‘see details’… that sounded promising. And the location was a special administration world, one of the Belkan protectorates. She didn’t see what was funny about any of this, but it sounded like a worthy mission for her. Why were they…?

The only warning came when she thumbed the slate over to the mission details. They referred the reader to the original request from the protectorate government, and instead of additional intelligence or an analysis there was simply a short preface from the Midchildan consular general which in incredibly self-conscious language related that the following information had been confirmed by the local Bureau staff, was completely serious, and was to be read as such. Frowning (and ignoring what sounded suspiciously like poorly-stifled giggles from Hayate drifting over from the opposite side of the slate), she opened the request.

It was… attention-grabbing. For one thing, it actually was the writ of a King. For another, it related in perfect seriousness the kidnapping of said King’s daughter. By a dragon. There was a formally-worded request for the Investigation Department’s expertise in such unusual cases in there somewhere, but Signum barely noticed it.

She stared at the data-slate. Some of her incredulity must have shown on her face, because Hayate chose that moment to make her opinion known.

“Isn’t it perfect, Signum?” Hayate beamed. Off to the side, Testarossa laughed lightly, a pleasant sound that nonetheless made Signum feel slightly ill.

“It is… unique.” So this was it. Somewhere, somehow, a scenario straight out of some old fairy-tale had been given life, and Hayate, out of a sense of romanticism or irony or something, had felt compelled to complete the arrangement with the addition of the proverbial Knight in Shining Armor.

“This request is very important,” Hayate began with a finger upraised. It was a touch sanctimonious, in Signum’s opinion. Obviously she intended to preempt any argument. “Besides the hostage herself, there’s been growing separatist sentiment on Erswin and our relations have suffered over the last few years. A request for the Bureau’s aid in a highly-visible situation like this is a rare opportunity for us to improve our image there, and having a knight lead the effort will remind the populace that Midchilda is still the center of Belkan culture. I’d like you to be that knight.”

As if that hadn't been perfectly clear from the beginning.

“Surely one of the Church Knights would suffice,” Signum countered. “I have my duties on Midchilda to attend to.” Not that Hayate would bother to ask unless she'd cleared it first. Hayate only asked for things she couldn't have when it was part of a strategy to get something else she really wanted.

“Ah-ah,” the finger wagged, and Signum felt dishearteningly like a child being scolded. “We can’t offer them anything but our best in this situation. Colonel Meyer agrees. And besides, you’ve been to Erswin before.”

So she remembered. Signum’s resistance collapsed. As ridiculous as the whole thing was, she had to admit it was a task she was uniquely well-suited to. And it would make her master happy. Surely she should see it as an opportunity…

Hayate sensed victory and put a hand on Signum’s shoulder, façade crumbling as she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “Who knows, maybe the King will give you his daughter’s hand in marriage? Carim and everybody agree you’re the handsomest Knight.”

Signum could have ignored that comment had not Testarossa, still enjoying the show from the sidelines, suddenly taken on a slightly flustered appearance and failed to meet her eyes. It was somehow worse than any comment the woman could have made.

“Very well.” She agreed, already planning a measure of revenge. “Erio and Carol are on Midchilda right now, aren’t they?
I'm not the best person to be looking for for reviews but...

A fresh breath of air IMO, after all the main-character fics that've been flying around. Oh and the actual franchise too, since she's gotten the shelving now as well, along with her master and her fellow knights. The main players in this are pretty much in character too, though I'd beg to differ for Vita(love?what?), but I'd guess it's an excuse to not let her rob the focus.

And SignumXFate LOL. Fun stuff, though I'm feeling that the fun's not going to end anytime soon, even with that serious-looking mission looming...

[Demon Eyes]

LOL Indeed.

It's one thing to say you don't like the pairing. It's another when you insult one of the two parties within that pairing XD

I for one don't have too much appreciation for the pairing, BUT, as a character, Yuuno is awesome :D

I mean, how many librarians are there who can just sit in one spot, and uses their magic to summon books they might need, or leaf through 5 or 6 books in one go, without lifting so much as a finger?! XD

I know there's a lot of other things about Yuuno that makes him cool in my book, but that just stands out the best, since I just rewatched Nanoha A's XD

Now hold on a minute!

I didn't insult no body!

I just don't dig the ship.

This is a very big problem I have. I might love characters individually, but never if they are paired up.

For example, I had a heated discussion on ShoujoAi where it seemed I was the only one who like Souma(KnM) but was with the rest in bashing him for kissing Himeko like that!

I do like Yuuno, and your fics quite actually makes him more lovable with his funny quotes and support BUT! Not that it matters since I will never tread on reading a fic that has Fate or Nanoha when they are paired with other people other than each other.

Which part are you referring to by the way Satashi, where Yuuno held Vita?!! Even if this happened, we know that Yuuno and Arf are great at binding spells so it doesn't prove how GOOD he is. He is just experienced is all but it was already esablished that in no way is he better than Nanoha, well, knowledge is power I guess, and Nanoha isn't the brightest people but still,...Okaaay, what was I talking about again!!

Anyway, I don't hate Yuuno but the idea of NanohaxYuuno, Arg. The horror...the horrroor! This would remind me of that trauma I experienced when I accidentally read a Chikane/Souma fic....JESUS CHRIST!! I can't comprehend still how I survived that nightmare!

Now I know that were fate never to have showed up, I would've been all for YuunoxNanoha but once fate did show up, It was fated.

And Satashi, I do know how this reversal psyche thingie works and if you do decide to do it that way, well, that's life but I guess you know where I stand on the pairing.

Now as for something a little off topic, Why in God's name haven't I read any HayatexVita centric fics?!!!
Am I just looking in the wrong places or something?!!

Really, This is like my second best pairing in this Universe yet, ZERO fics have I read!

Shame!

[ghazghkull]

Now as for something a little off topic, Why in God's name haven't I read any HayatexVita centric fics?!!!
Am I just looking in the wrong places or something?!!

Really, This is like my second best pairing in this Universe yet, ZERO fics have I read!

Shame!

*Light bulb clicks as a bell dings*
*Smiles evilly and rubs hands together*

Oh I think I've just been hit with an idea...TO THE DRAWING BOARD!!!






right after I finish my homework and studying T.T

[Satashi]

Which part are you referring to by the way Satashi, where Yuuno held Vita?!! Even if this happened, we know that Yuuno and Arf are great at binding spells so it doesn't prove how GOOD he is. He is just experienced is all but it was already esablished that in no way is he better than Nanoha, well, knowledge is power I guess, and Nanoha isn't the brightest people but still,...Okaaay, what was I talking about again!!

And Satashi, I do know how this reversal psyche thingie works and if you do decide to do it that way, well, that's life but I guess you know where I stand on the pairing.


Experience is 3/4 the battle. Even if he only uses binding spells as you said, to hold his own against people, without a device, using only his knowledge makes him a force to be reckoned with. But that's not really important, he's more valuable other places besides teh battle field.

Reversal psyche? You're thinking too hard. It's more like "People don't think he's worth time so I'll do something to make him worth the time"

As long as you don't hate his character for ignorant reaons ( and I can see you don't really seem to ) I have no problems. Just like I said, the writer in me hates to see characters tossed aside for no real reason.

HayatexVita? Eh, I touched at that before in the past. I can and can't see them together. For one, I don't think Vita knows what a relationship is, and two, I don't think....Hayate.... knows... what a relationship is. O.<

If it's written I might check it out tho.

[ghazghkull]

Something I wrote within 20 minutes. No editing or proofreading was performed on this. This is raw. And it's some random drabble I did from Signum's point of view.

Watching them sleep, I couldn’t help but notice how close the two of them really were.

Ever since the days we had first met Hayate, we all had developed close bonds to our master, each in our own different ways.

I had taken the role as her surrogate older sister, one who would protect her and gave her advice as needed. Shamal became a role similar to that of a mother, or possibly an aunt of sorts. Zafira had taken on a role to that of the family body guard. But Vita’s role was somewhat clouded, obscured. It may be paranoia on my part, but it seemed there was something more to Vita’s connection to our master.

The two of them, even to this day slept in the same bed whenever they had the chance. And always, Vita would snuggle up against our Master and fell asleep long before our master would.

Despite her maturity, she was always different towards Hayate. It seemed to borderline obsession towards our master. Lately, her training had begun to intensify. She began to push herself more and more, as if there was some hidden goal behind her actions that the rest of us were unaware of. It bothered me slightly, considering how she often would return exhausted, but would then take a set of cartridges and charge them. An odd action, since it was Shamal would charge all of our cartridges so we didn’t have to.

As the years had gone by, Vita had only continued to become more and more attached to Hayate, but with it, her obsessive-like tendencies waned. Most likely she had smartened up and realized what she was doing to herself. Her training habits reflected it, along with her desires to charge her cartridges.

However, now I’m wondering again. Graf Eisen’s report had been somewhat disturbing. While his Destruction Form was nothing new, it was the fact she was fighting in a possessed manner that had me concerned.

She had poured everything into her attacks against the engine.

While that in itself was of no consequence, it was her words that somewhat bothered me.

If anything, she almost seemed to be willing to throw her life away for the honour of our master.

But then again, I suppose it was only natural. Although I fail to understand it fully myself, I suppose Vita loves our master in a different manner the rest of us do. I do not know if bears any resemblance to the way Testarossa and Nanoha love each other, but I know some of the aspects are there.

But it doesn’t matter. So long as Vita continues to protect our master, and able to spend whatever time she has with our master, I’m sure she’ll be happy.

Such a child Vita could be sometimes.

But…perhaps it is that child within Vita that gives her the drive to fight like she does. She was the last of us to be created.

Rest well Vita. You deserve it most of the four Cloud Knights.

[arkhangelsk]

Which part are you referring to by the way Satashi, where Yuuno held Vita?!! Even if this happened, we know that Yuuno and Arf are great at binding spells so it doesn't prove how GOOD he is.

So, for Yunno to be Good, he not only has to Win / Tie, but he has to do so in the same way as a High Power mage (BeamSpam or High-Speed Dogfighting?)

Physically speaking, a bind / forcefield potentially requires zero energy, and so its attractions to the magically weak is apparent. That Yunno managed to be a better shieldmaker than Nanoha despite his low output tells me that his use of magic is still more efficient, and he has a superior grasp of mechanical physics. It actually makes him pretty darn good, since he had to grasp these concepts with only a ridiculously short magical school.

[Satashi]

So, for Yunno to be Good, he not only has to Win / Tie, but he has to do so in the same way as a High Power mage (BeamSpam or High-Speed Dogfighting?)

Physically speaking, a bind / forcefield potentially requires zero energy, and so its attractions to the magically weak is apparent. That Yunno managed to be a better shieldmaker than Nanoha despite his low output tells me that his use of magic is still more efficient, and he has a superior grasp of mechanical physics. It actually makes him pretty darn good, since he had to grasp these concepts with only a ridiculously short magical school.

I think the fact that Yuuno is not a fighter just adds to his spiffiness. I love working with him in fics because it's natural for him to do things others can't. Solve puzzles, come up with solutions, break news to people, do small things, offer conversation. All of those can be fulfilled by any cast member really, but using Yuuno just seems right in a way.

I mean, if you need something ultra powerful made to battle someone, who you going to call besides the ghost busters? Yuuno of course.

Nanoha going through a hard time and needs someone to talk to? Who are you going to use? Fate would be too cliché. I mean face it, it's been done to death. Using Yuuno adds something to more original aspects and realism.

Even if you ship N/F using Yuuno to be there for Nanoha is a good choice ( as I've done in the past). You can't deny how close the two are and I think Yuuno would be the only one Nanoha could hug and cling to without Fate worrying about things. And Yes I picture Fate as the worrying type.

He offers so much to writers but sadly most everyone pushes him into the shadows without realizing just how useful the lad can be. Relationships and fighting aren't everything in a story.

World needs more Yuuno XD

[panzerfan]

Yuuno is a good adjutant and he has the ferret form going for him...

some demiurge: A ferret! This is the perfect form for a slider!
some John Smith: It look familiar... oy, it might have rabies. Don't just pick it up like that!
some little sister: Hey! It licked me!
some demiurge: it likes you! This is perfect! Imouto-chan! Tell me the moment that it speaks to you... since it looks exactly like a slider!
some John Smith: what part of it looks even human, let along slider in the first place...
some Alien: ... Isolated packets of highly compressed information have been detected within the area of 25pi square kilometer. Attempting to query metadata.
some mascot: >_<
some sempai: Megas cute nyoro~

[Satashi]

Caro looked over at Friedliche. "You should know Friedliche. You..you..."

Caro: *looks at microphone and laughs* sorry, sorry. I'm getting the rhythem of voice overing again. *clears throat* You should know Freidliche! You should *giggle* know Freid... You dumb bi#&h why don't you pay attention! You should know! Friedliche you should know! *crying* You know Freidliche! Don't ask! stop playing with my emotions! *snorts* okay, I think I can do this now.

(First one to know the original I parodied there, I'll do a 1k word fanfic short on your topic of choice)

[ghazghkull]

Please, please, please read this and give me your comments. I'd really appreciated to your hear your comments before I post this on FF.net

It's another one-shot I had put together. I came up with this one after listening to Eva by Nightwish for a lengthly amount of time.

Forever Vivio

“Hurry up! We’re losing containment!”

“It’s no good! Her output is breaching critical!”

“We’ve got to do something!”

“Everyone get out, NOW!”

“STARLIGHT BREAKER!!”

“MAMA?!”

Suddenly bolting upright, Vivio panted hard as the sudden memory of a session had come to the forefront of her memory.

“I did it again,” she sadly sighed, idly threading her hand through her hair.

Ever since she had started to actively train her magical abilities at the age of 10, her powers had grown by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately, her growth had been far out of control, that limiters had been placed on her when she was 13. But even then, they’d only last a while before her powers spiked again, destroying the limiters.

For the last two years when her powers began to spike, she had been going through this.

And now, they had begun to experiment her powers to see where it would take them, to see if they could control her powers in one way or another. One after another, they all ended in failure. Before it had only been equipments overloading, or a few mages hurt by her sudden power spikes. But recently, it had ended up with her powers overloading forcing one of her mothers to knock her out.

She hated how she had to live like this. When her powers began to manifest, her friends had simply been in awe. The idea of magic wasn’t new, so they simply treated like any other mage who discovered her powers: supported her. But as her powers grew, the friendship withered. People began to fear her. Her powers were too great to control, too great to associate with. Eventually left with no friends, she had dropped out of school, learning from whatever books she could obtain from online sources.

Her home life never changed though. There, she was truly happy. There her powers were never used. There, she could smile as she and her mothers spent their time with each other. It was there she could be in bliss, never to worry of the outside world.

But now, she needed more. She needed to go out, to have friends, to live.

But she couldn’t have that. A few months ago, her powers grew too great to live in the standard homes. Against the wishes of her mothers, and her grandmother, along with the protest of some of the most prominent members of the TSAB and even some of the Admiralty, she had been forced into a life of solitude, aboard the Asura A. Although visited by all those dear to her, she was alone. Like when she was a child, she was now nothing more than an experiment, an object meant to be observed, studied, and learned from.

Since her incarceration, she had been contemplating on a particular train of thought. One that would change everyone’s lives, especially her mothers’.

Unfortunately, the last experiment had solidified that decision.

“I can’t stay here,” she sighed sadly, as she focused within herself, calling forth her powers as they began to overwhelm her limiters. Soon enough, she began to spill with power as it took on a physical aura around her.

“It’s pink and yellow,” she idly said aloud, looking at her hand. To her it was an irony. To her, pink and yellow stood for peace and justice, colours she had always associated with Nanoha and Fate. She had always placed her aura as black, representing the darkness of her creation, of her powers. She was someone who was made for nothing but destruction. It pained her that she bore colours that she believed weren’t meant for her.

Clenching her fist, her aura solidified into a barrier jacket. It was the same as that time years ago when she was on the Belkan ship, but this time, it was white, and the gloves were fingerless this time. Another irony, as it was. She had emulated the colour of her mother, when the last time she had taken this form, it was opposite of what she was now.

Hardly acknowledging the blaring alarms, or the orders to stand down, she sadly look up at the ceiling, and instantly propelled herself high into the air, easily punching through layers upon layers of steel and reinforced bulkhead. Smashing through the hull, she called upon her powers as it created a portal and took her out of dimensional space.

Coming out, she landed within the cherry blossom field.

A clear sunny afternoon greeted her. Above the birds happily chirped as they flew through the skies, while ground animals crawled around as they went about their lives. Around her, the pink petals danced around her, gently embracing her in their warmth.

Tears lightly prickled her eyes as she hugged herself. She hated what she had to do. But if she didn’t do it, she would continue that miserable existence as JS Experiment 01. That was all she was to them. She wasn’t a person. She wasn’t a girl. She wasn’t Takamachi Vivio. To them, she was just Experiment 01. She was a thing to them.

They had tested her, probed her, measured her; they questioned her like she was a machine of sorts. Never once had they ever given her any indication she was human.

Emotionally unstable already, the only thing that she could hold on to when they had forced her into that ship was the memories of her mothers. Their kindness, their love towards her, was all she had to hold on. Nothing else existed that could have saved her from the painful month as they did so many things to her, that would continue to haunt her memories.

Ultimately, it came down to the fact she was just a thing. She was never human.

So it was how she had come to the decision she made.

She would destroy herself. She had caused enough damage already. She wanted to be free. She only wished she could bring her mothers with her.

“Good bye, everyone,” she tearfully said as a Belkan magic circle formed below her. Muttering in Belkan, she began to call forth the powers that would forever end her life, end her existence. Once done, she would be free. It would be over.

“Vivio!”

Looking up, she watched as her mothers dive down right at her before finding herself knocked off her feet as the two of them held her in a tight hug.

Questions of her wellbeing was thrown at her in rapid succession she could barely register it.

“Mama, mama, I’m fine,” she finally exclaimed, calming the two of them down, all the while silently completing her spell.

“Vivio, what did you do?” Fate asked immediately. “Hayate said that you had left the ship adrift one moment before you were detected here. What’s going on?”

Vivio could only weakly stare at the two of them. This was the last thing she’d ever see. There was no way around it. There were too many powers that could capture her and continue to experiment on her. Never again she would allow it, but there was only one way she could do it.

Breaking into tears, she pulled her mothers into a strong embrace as she sobbed. She was going to lose them. She was going to lose her only place of true happiness. She hated her powers. She hated the fact she had been given these powers. Since the very beginning it gave her nothing but pain and suffering.

“Why?!” was the only thing she could say as she cried. She could only continue to question what could never be answered.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Fate whispered softly into Vivio’s ear, gently rubbing her back, comforting her as best she could. Nanoha held onto one of Vivio’s hand as she lightly ran her hand through Vivio’s hair, an action she knew would also help calm the girl down.

“Nanoha-mama, Fate-mama,” Vivio choked as the looked directly at the two. “I can’t go back.”

“But there’s nothing we can do Vivio,” Nanoha stated. Although the fact she would soon be separated from her daughter was near, she would try to spend what little time she could with her.

“You have to go back until we can have you transferred out,” Fate added, worried sick about Vivio, especially how sad she looked.

Vivio shook her head violently. “You don’t understand. I’m not going back.”

“Back where?” Nanoha asked.

“I won’t be going back,” Vivio choked, tears falling freely from her eyes. “I’m going away.”

“Going away?” the two asked instantly.

“Where are you going?” Nanoha shot out, trying to contain herself.

“Somewhere no one will find me,” she sobbed out harder, hugging Nanoha as tightly as she could. She wanted it to last. She wanted the memory of holding her to last forever.

“But there isn’t a place you could hide long enough to rest before moving on,” Fate said, confused by her goddaughter’s actions. “Where in the universe could you hide where they won’t find you?!”

Vivio sobbed harder. She knew she’d have to answer them soon. But choosing to prolong the moment further, she held her mother that much tighter. She didn’t want to forget. She never wanted to forget them. They were her life, much as she was their joy. She hated what she had to do, but she had no choice.

But in retrospect, she never had a choice. She was destined to walk this path to destruction. She could never have avoided this, just delay it.

Holding back her sobs as long as she could, she weakly said, “My grave.”

The horrified response from the two of them sent into another wave of tears as she hugged Nanoha again.

“Vivio, what are you doing talking about?”

“You can’t commit suicide! What about the rest of us?”

“HOW CAN I GO ON SUFFERING?!” Vivio bellowed out.

“Besides,” she muttered, feeling the spell completed. “I only have a few minutes left.” Muscles shutting down, she slumped into Nanoha’s arm.

“Vivio!” they cried out as Nanoha gently cradled Vivio in her arms.

“I don’t want to die,” Vivio whispered. “But I have to.”

“Vivio, don’t go!” Nanoha sobbed.

“Vivio, don’t do this! We can fight this together!” Fate cried, holding on tightly to her hands.

Vivio watched as tears fell freely from their eyes. But there was nothing she could do now. Soon, she’d be free, far from the world that only sought to harm her, but also far from the warm hearts of her mother.

“Don’t worry mama,” she weakly whimpered, feeling her body slowly shut down starting at her toes. “I’ll make a world for us. When you come, it’ll just be the three of us, right?”

“Vivio don’t say things like that!” Nanoha sobbed. This wasn’t happening. This just wasn’t happening. Her Vivio wasn’t dying. She just couldn’t be. Not when she had so much to do in life.

“Saint’s cradle…Experiment 01…that’s what they called me…but I’m not either of them…right?”

“Of course not,” Fate harshly admonished, her grip on the girl’s hand strong as ever. “You’re Takamachi Vivio, our daughter.”

“Yeah…I am…I’m the 16 year old daughter of Takamachi Nanoha and Fate…and I’m…I’m…Vivio.”

As her name left her lips, so did her final breath.

She watched sadly as she slowly slipped down. She didn’t see them cry out to her in horror and sadness. She didn’t hear them call out to her. She didn’t even know who they were anymore.

All she knew was one thing. She was, and forever would be, Vivio.

[panzerfan]

@ghazghkull:
First all, the proverbial in before kill yourself.

I will say it outright: My personal bias is very much against suicide or killing others. Being impartial and having respect to such acts I find to be... something that I can only do half-heartedly.

I... have the bad feeling that this kind of development is not completely impossible to see happening, and it is something that young people do. However...
every single person, before committing the act of suicide shows a series of escalating symptoms. One simple example would be how that they all leave signals and verbal cues about them thinking of taking such action, them laying out their final testaments and so forth.

Given the length of this 1-shot, it is hard to establish that kind of mental downward slope and showing that development. However, this makes the situation less convincing.

(cutting those out. Putting them in a new post)

[ghazghkull]

@ghazghkull:
First all, the proverbial in before kill yourself.

I... have the bad feeling that this kind of development is not completely impossible to see happening, and it is something that young people do. However...
every single person, before committing the act of suicide shows a series of escalating symptoms. One simple example would be how that they all leave signals and verbal cues about them thinking of taking such action, them laying out their final testaments and so forth.

Given the length of this 1-shot, it is hard to establish that kind of mental downward slope and showing that development. However, this makes the situation less convincing.

I'm fully aware of what I wrote.

Maybe I should be a bit more specific of what I'm looking for in comments from you guys.

What I'm not looking for is quality of story. I'm looking for how I present my stories right now. I'm writing impulsively lately because lately I've only been drabbling. Again this is another drabble, just longer. I'm well aware a lot of the stuff I've written thus far make no sense, or have little to no credible background.

I'm just drabbling things out because I just want comments on presentations of the moment. However if the fact I purposely left background info screw that up, then I screwed up.

But that's generally what I'm looking for. Plot is nowhere in my mind right now.

[ghazghkull]

@Nightengale: I enjoy it a little, although... skyfall already pointed out the car issue.
@Satashi: puddings. 80's cheesy porn music...

well, here's something of mine for 'show n tell'. I welcome any comment on this.


Prelude

Sasaki-san, that ‘sneering Bastard’ Fujiwara, Tachibana Kyouko and Suou Kuyoh…

Speaking of them, what had happened as of late had become more and more troublesome for a person like me to address. If I were to look at what has transpired in the last month using the same format as Koizumi’s infamous philosophical babbles or that of Sasaki’s Cartesian world view, I will end up questioning as to why be it that there is now a contest between change and constant. Tachibana Kyouko had reduced her argument into a retarded discussion regarding the concept of old, European Conservatism and Laissez-faire Liberalism? Why manifest this in a manner such as Haruhi and Sasaki?

So, if we are to draw parallels to political doctrines… Is the answer neo-progressivism or pragmatism?

The great questions of the day will not be decided by speeches and the resolutions of majorities … but by iron and blood. Apply ‘great question’ to Haruhi’s bizarre power, and the idea of resorting to ‘iron and blood’ becomes very unappetizing, no offense to Bismarck.

I supposed it’s now as good a time as any to wait for the Mr. Know-it-all. Why would I be making parallel such as this when it is clearly Koizumi’s job to explain it to me? Hold on… he’s more or less interested in preaching it in a philosophical manner. The man should really just get himself a soapbox and stand over Hyde Park and try to incite the populace into his cause. I guarantee that he will be scorned by most adults, but he will have a loyal legion of drooling fan girls that will do his bidding, regardless of how lewd those biddings might be. If I dared extend on the subject matter, perhaps the ‘Organization' has in fact been using such charm offensives as to obtain unwitting minions in their agendas, which are beyond my scope.

I wish that I know the one and only universal law, but these arms are far too short to ever reach it. Haruhi could’ve been closer, but her mind is too deranged to get there. I place my faith in Nagato on that subject matter, but the same cannot be said for the Data Integrated Sentient Entity or its rival organization. In truth, this is getting nobody anywhere fast. About the only given in this problem is that Haruhi has done something that screwed everybody up four years ago, and that virtually everyone want something of her for that. If it were just up to me, I would simply say 'go right ahead' and be done with it.

“Mikuru-chan, let me look at that script again.”

“Yes, here you go, Suzumiya –san.”

“Kyon, get reading and start being useful.”

Haruhi was apparently talking in the background, disrupting my thought process. The sweet aroma from Asahina-san’s delectable tea soothed me greatly however.

I will let my imagination fly and assume that mandate is the obligation to act for greater happiness.

Perhaps, people such as Haruhi are more or less examples of despots. When we hand ‘mandate’ over to somebody like Sasaki, or to the much less level-headed Haruhi, any subsequent fault would lie in the hands of the people, as they merely give up their own onus of responsibility without even knowing it (although SOS Brigade more or less did it through putsch). The issue with dictatorship is that the harms done through policies are all pushed onto the single policy maker, which renders the work of perhaps a hundred capable dictators moot the moment a slip-up arises. This may sound like sympathetic to Haruhi, but I am definite that such despot that comes around once in an eon will not outweigh lesser beings fitted with such great shoes, just as Tokugawa Leyasu can’t offset Tokugawa Lemitsu.

Although, in truth, I am not even sure if ordinary people even had the powers to ‘grant mandate’ to begin with.

Koizumi did make one passing comment on shoes.

“Funny thing is that Suzumiya-san’s very position is being contested. It is odd how that the people that are surrounding Suzumiya-san are extraordinary existences, and each shine like the stars of the Milky Way. Could it be that I am born in an era of heroes and geniuses, instead of the era of the mediocre, which I would have fared better perhaps? “

My bias toward Haruhi is obvious, but the more I hang out with her, the more I realize just why Haruhi despises those that stand over the sideline, stressing equality and status quo while asking others to do the dirty work. For her cope with individuals such as I is a pain in retrospect, and to that, I can approve of Haruhi’s aggressiveness in pushing for changes so that the world can become more interesting, in Nagato keeping check on potential impacts, in Asahina-san taking such risks to see the past, and even in Koizumi’s rather meticulous planning to appease that woman.

I vented enough. I am veering dangerously to the territory of begging for more work. Science is not my strength, nor is theology.




“Kyon, what the hell are you doing!”

So, Suzumiya Haruhi, our overlord, had decided to bark out her ‘degree’. Very well, your Excellency, how shall I serve you?

“Just thinking about what to say to my parents regarding my lackluster marks.”

Excuses are getting easy for this old dog to come up with on the spot. Something that I’ve learned is that truth is potent. I can reduce having to backtrack if I spell out nonsensical truth as a way to cover my butt, and leave all the thinking to the receiving side. For a person, such as I, who Haruhi plainly stated am a person that ‘cannot even come up with anything original’, trying to overcome that weakness simply would have required far too much time and efforts.

The inquisitive ‘being’ shifts her eyes from left to right. Suzumiya Haruhi’s eyes occasionally seem to have this depth that rivals the very universe, and it glitters similar to the brilliance visible only in a planetarium due largely in part to the pollution in this part of the world.

Those eyes frighten me, since she really has her WMD to back that gaze. That woman was thinking of something right there and then, and I can feel the sheer intensity just by staring into those eyes.


Now’s not the time to praise her. One man has said that an individual must never give prima facie praises, for if the individual is a weakling, she will become egotistical, and should she be a person of integrity, she will alienate you for heaping empty praises. Haruhi has integrity?

“What is going on with you? God. You and your absent-mindedness can be really annoying, you know that? I have the important of developing the recipe to the continuing survival of the SOS Brigade, and I won’t have you absented-mindedly go about and contribute nothing to this cause!”

Asahina-san, Haruhi and I were in the comforts of the Literary Club room. Haruhi was chewing through pencils, quite literally. The very reason is plainly stated by the megalomaniac in a ‘briefing’:

“Like Karl Marx, the SOS Brigade must have a piece that is what Das Kapital is to Communist Manifesto.I must make my point on overloading this mundane world with fun clear for posterity!”

Asahina-san, I assure you that Marx did not relate class struggles to lack of fun.

Asahina-san was in the familiar maid costume once again, while Haruhi remained in school uniform, as she waltzed around the club room. The armband indicated that Haruhi was back as ‘the Chief’ and the SOS Brigade was on in full force, despite Koizumi and Nagato being absent.



I have been studying Haruhi’s Du Mundi vitae pro cras via: methodus pro corporum dum tempore—horologium oscillatorium , cum formulae, which is apparently not named the same way as ‘A Memo on the Formulae for Looking at Tomorrow’ that the proud chief editor of the SOS Brigade decided on when she first published her thesis. Given the fact that this proved to be the groundbreaking work on time travel (thank you Asahina-san), I decided to be diligent and absorb what little I can out of this work. The second thesis that I was forced to read is titled as “Observation of Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EPR_paradox)Entanglement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_entanglement) on Supraquantum Structures by Induction Through Nonlinear (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonlinear)Transuranic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transuranic)Crystal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal) of Extremely Long Wavelength (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wavelength) (ELW) Pulse from Mode-Locked Source Array.” Haruhi apparently was very interested with this work, and wanted me to look into trans-uranium elements (which I have no idea how you would get them legally) and to re-modulate ‘something’ as to let her have fun with Aliens, Espers and Time Travelers at their own game.

I no longer question whether or not if Haruhi even comprehends quantum mechanics. I am finding, to my dismay, that any idea Suzumiya Haruhi might hatch up is nondeterministic in nature, making it pointless to pin down.

I have a feeling that Haruhi might actually accelerate the pace of human demise at this moment. Asahina-san had the most dreaded expression on her face over this, and Nagato could only confirm that the two works have something to do with how the Time Travellers were able to do their thing. Do I understand any of this? I rate myself at 5% at best. I am surprised that Asahina-san hasn’t walk up to Haruhi and ask her about the nooks and crannies of the deus ex machina that is otherwise known as TPDD.

“Out of billions of stars and plenty of rolled-up dimensions, there must be at least one that contains a planet and has some life form, and some being on there must be bored and want to have fun like I do!”

Sliders. Fun, she said.

Haruhi had something up in her sleeve for the very pages dedicated to her musing on sliders.

“Mikuru-chan! Fetch me that graphics tablet!”

“Coming! Please wait for a little bit.”

Asahina-san gracefully walked towards the locker housed in our club room, and bent down in order to grab a professional graphics tablet.

“Just put it on my desk. Kyon! Plug the thing in for me.”

I got up, looked at an inquisitive Asahina-san as the glory of this piece of gadget unfolded before me. This is the first time in my life that I have actually seen a graphics tablet in person. I imagine that this unit would’ve cost a fortune to buy. It goes without saying that Haruhi’s not the one that had to pay for it.

“Careful with that thing! I got it as a gift from Tsuruya-san! She’s always helping us out! We should really host an event in her honor for this gracious donation!”

I could not believe what I had heard.

“Haruhi… you…”

You are only going to bother Tsuruya-san more, Haruhi.

“You did properly thank her… “

“Of course I did.”

Suzumiya Haruhi, making friends and being thankful… did the three ghosts of Christmas visit you?

With the USB connection hooked up, the tablet was on and ready to do Haruhi’s biddings. Suzumiya Haruhi quickly swapped her armband to that of ‘Head Graphics Artist’ and lifted the stylus from its stand in dramatic fashion. Asahina-san was astounded enough to hold her breath while I could somehow picture the very air being sliced in slow motion, as this larger-than-life figure, with her eyes closed, guided that stylus to the top of the pressure board, waiting for the right moment to strike.

Let us not question the rationale behind making such a dramatic scene.

Time suddenly moved at a vehement pace, as Suzumiya Haruhi’s eyes shot open, and the stylus danced across the board, while her free left hand was busy keying in shortcuts to the photo manipulation program. It was clear as day that Haruhi was working on drawing something, whether it’d be yet another mysterious symbol, another beacon into the future, or worse, being another source of future headache.

“Kyon-kun, here you go! Enjoy.”

Asahina-san had stepped more tea. This was one of the greatest enjoyments in life that I can ask for. Asahina-san then moved to Haruhi’s desk, and filled her cup as well.

Haruhi normally would wolf it down, yet this time, she was too focused on her task to pay heed. Seeing Haruhi in form is something that you never truly quite get ‘used’ to. She has an undeniable pull and she can warp the reality just with her speech. Being around a person as dynamic as Haruhi can be toiling I suppose.

“Woah!”

Goosebumps came up with that unannounced cry. Asahina-san got so nervous that she hiccupped.

“This is exactly it! Kyon, Mikuru-chan! Come around, look at this!”

I need to consult Nagato and Koizumi immediately on what exactly Haruhi had concocted. Last time, the issue with the Brigade logo was more than a handful to mop-up.

On the screen, several pictures of what I can only describe as ‘magic circles’ had been drawn up. A highly stylized form of alphabet script was used on the bottom for Haruhi’s annotations.

The sketches of one of the magic circles happen to be comprised of a large circle with circular ring patterns. There is an innermost ring, and in the spacing between it and the second most innermost ring is packed with a string of two overlapping scripts, one in greek alphabet and the other in Haruhi’s annotated stylized alphabet occupies the space. Two overlapping squares contain these two rings, and the two squares are contained in yet another ring. The ring that contains the two squares also has scripts placed between it and a ring that contained everything I have mentioned thus far with one major difference, being that the smaller script formation has capitalized letters over 4 quadrants of the circle, while the larger one emphasizes them with a circle surrounding the capital letters.


The next sketch is a magic formation with a different script, I am guessing perhaps rune. The layout of this formation resembles an equilateral triangle with three endpoints and the center formed by three circles. Each of these circles is connected with each other as well as the center through a path that is formed with two lines with spacing packed with runic scripts. The circle is comprised of 2 rings, with runes forming a ring shape within the confines of the inner ring, and they surround this symbol that I cannot really describe well. The centermost circle however is unique, in that there is a large cross that extends out of the two rings in place of the strange symbols present in all the other rings.




I do not like what I have seen.

“Haruhi, just what are these for? Don’t tell me that they are tests for initiates or something…”

“This is the very summary to section regarding sliders, Kyon.”

Haruhi gave the answer in high spirit. She then quickly finished off the now cold tea, and resumed with her task, leaving a completely dumbfounded Asahina-san and I aside.

My blood ran cold. I can conclude that something has been set in motion, yet I have no idea as to what it might be.


OMG you didn't!!! You took Midchilda and Belka magic circles and had Haruhi draw them?!! XD Wow!!

And wow...that felt like I was reading a Haruhi version of End of Evangelion...Kyon's monologue didn't not feel like it was Kyon at all. Although he's try and sarcastic, he does it in a humorous way.

Well..that's my opinion anyways.

[panzerfan]

Edit 1: (shameless plug http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1246500&postcount=3955 feedback please.)

@ghazghkull (http://forums.animesuki.com/member.php?u=69817) Presentation wise, the story requires a little bit of thinking on the part of the audience to realize the timing, given that you have began with several dialogues that I had to mentally fit in the
"who's saying that?" Otherwise however, the story isn't hard to follow and isn't a bore to read.
Edit 3:
Since you already said that you are well aware of the lack of pretense, your assumption in that people that you screwed up by leaving the backstory empty is irrelevant. So don't worry about it.
@ghazghkull: end of evangelion . what interesting memory...

Edit 4:

http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/1430/nanodango2cb4ch9.th.jpg (http://img115.imageshack.us/my.php?image=nanodango2cb4ch9.jpg)

Na-no Daikazoku.

[USB500]

@USB-chan: I did not forget you, look a few post down from that, I made a comment that I was going to put you in the parody D:!!!!

No faith T_T
D: D:

I have a short done that just came out of nowhere @_@ At first I thought it would be simple and fast but it ended up being 1.6k words long, wtf? I tried to be like USB-chan and did a play but mine's a musical! XDDD As soon as he replies to my PM I'll post the story :3
I'll be waiting, then. :3

No new story, but progress on Beauty and Red-Haired Beast 40% complete. :nod:

[Kagerou]

http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/1430/nanodango2cb4ch9.th.jpg (http://img115.imageshack.us/my.php?image=nanodango2cb4ch9.jpg)

Na-no Daikazoku.

...haha what.

[Krinen]

...haha what.

Reference to Clannad, I believe.

[Kagerou]

No no I get that. It's just...

well, look at it!

Vivio: "Dango, dango, dango, dango, dan~go, daikazoku~"

[Kirika-chan]

Please, please, please read this and give me your comments. I'd really appreciated to your hear your comments before I post this on FF.net

It's another one-shot I had put together. I came up with this one after listening to Eva by Nightwish for a lengthly amount of time.

Forever Vivio

“Hurry up! We’re losing containment!”

“It’s no good! Her output is breaching critical!”

“We’ve got to do something!”

“Everyone get out, NOW!”

“STARLIGHT BREAKER!!”

“MAMA?!”

Suddenly bolting upright, Vivio panted hard as the sudden memory of a session had come to the forefront of her memory.

“I did it again,” she sadly sighed, idly threading her hand through her hair.

Ever since she had started to actively train her magical abilities at the age of 10, her powers had grown by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately, her growth had been far out of control, that limiters had been placed on her when she was 13. But even then, they’d only last a while before her powers spiked again, destroying the limiters.

For the last two years when her powers began to spike, she had been going through this.

And now, they had begun to experiment her powers to see where it would take them, to see if they could control her powers in one way or another. One after another, they all ended in failure. Before it had only been equipments overloading, or a few mages hurt by her sudden power spikes. But recently, it had ended up with her powers overloading forcing one of her mothers to knock her out.

She hated how she had to live like this. When her powers began to manifest, her friends had simply been in awe. The idea of magic wasn’t new, so they simply treated like any other mage who discovered her powers: supported her. But as her powers grew, the friendship withered. People began to fear her. Her powers were too great to control, too great to associate with. Eventually left with no friends, she had dropped out of school, learning from whatever books she could obtain from online sources.

Her home life never changed though. There, she was truly happy. There her powers were never used. There, she could smile as she and her mothers spent their time with each other. It was there she could be in bliss, never to worry of the outside world.

But now, she needed more. She needed to go out, to have friends, to live.

But she couldn’t have that. A few months ago, her powers grew too great to live in the standard homes. Against the wishes of her mothers, and her grandmother, along with the protest of some of the most prominent members of the TSAB and even some of the Admiralty, she had been forced into a life of solitude, aboard the Asura A. Although visited by all those dear to her, she was alone. Like when she was a child, she was now nothing more than an experiment, an object meant to be observed, studied, and learned from.

Since her incarceration, she had been contemplating on a particular train of thought. One that would change everyone’s lives, especially her mothers’.

Unfortunately, the last experiment had solidified that decision.

“I can’t stay here,” she sighed sadly, as she focused within herself, calling forth her powers as they began to overwhelm her limiters. Soon enough, she began to spill with power as it took on a physical aura around her.

“It’s pink and yellow,” she idly said aloud, looking at her hand. To her it was an irony. To her, pink and yellow stood for peace and justice, colours she had always associated with Nanoha and Fate. She had always placed her aura as black, representing the darkness of her creation, of her powers. She was someone who was made for nothing but destruction. It pained her that she bore colours that she believed weren’t meant for her.

Clenching her fist, her aura solidified into a barrier jacket. It was the same as that time years ago when she was on the Belkan ship, but this time, it was white, and the gloves were fingerless this time. Another irony, as it was. She had emulated the colour of her mother, when the last time she had taken this form, it was opposite of what she was now.

Hardly acknowledging the blaring alarms, or the orders to stand down, she sadly look up at the ceiling, and instantly propelled herself high into the air, easily punching through layers upon layers of steel and reinforced bulkhead. Smashing through the hull, she called upon her powers as it created a portal and took her out of dimensional space.

Coming out, she landed within the cherry blossom field.

A clear sunny afternoon greeted her. Above the birds happily chirped as they flew through the skies, while ground animals crawled around as they went about their lives. Around her, the pink petals danced around her, gently embracing her in their warmth.

Tears lightly prickled her eyes as she hugged herself. She hated what she had to do. But if she didn’t do it, she would continue that miserable existence as JS Experiment 01. That was all she was to them. She wasn’t a person. She wasn’t a girl. She wasn’t Takamachi Vivio. To them, she was just Experiment 01. She was a thing to them.

They had tested her, probed her, measured her; they questioned her like she was a machine of sorts. Never once had they ever given her any indication she was human.

Emotionally unstable already, the only thing that she could hold on to when they had forced her into that ship was the memories of her mothers. Their kindness, their love towards her, was all she had to hold on. Nothing else existed that could have saved her from the painful month as they did so many things to her, that would continue to haunt her memories.

Ultimately, it came down to the fact she was just a thing. She was never human.

So it was how she had come to the decision she made.

She would destroy herself. She had caused enough damage already. She wanted to be free. She only wished she could bring her mothers with her.

“Good bye, everyone,” she tearfully said as a Belkan magic circle formed below her. Muttering in Belkan, she began to call forth the powers that would forever end her life, end her existence. Once done, she would be free. It would be over.

“Vivio!”

Looking up, she watched as her mothers dive down right at her before finding herself knocked off her feet as the two of them held her in a tight hug.

Questions of her wellbeing was thrown at her in rapid succession she could barely register it.

“Mama, mama, I’m fine,” she finally exclaimed, calming the two of them down, all the while silently completing her spell.

“Vivio, what did you do?” Fate asked immediately. “Hayate said that you had left the ship adrift one moment before you were detected here. What’s going on?”

Vivio could only weakly stare at the two of them. This was the last thing she’d ever see. There was no way around it. There were too many powers that could capture her and continue to experiment on her. Never again she would allow it, but there was only one way she could do it.

Breaking into tears, she pulled her mothers into a strong embrace as she sobbed. She was going to lose them. She was going to lose her only place of true happiness. She hated her powers. She hated the fact she had been given these powers. Since the very beginning it gave her nothing but pain and suffering.

“Why?!” was the only thing she could say as she cried. She could only continue to question what could never be answered.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Fate whispered softly into Vivio’s ear, gently rubbing her back, comforting her as best she could. Nanoha held onto one of Vivio’s hand as she lightly ran her hand through Vivio’s hair, an action she knew would also help calm the girl down.

“Nanoha-mama, Fate-mama,” Vivio choked as the looked directly at the two. “I can’t go back.”

“But there’s nothing we can do Vivio,” Nanoha stated. Although the fact she would soon be separated from her daughter was near, she would try to spend what little time she could with her.

“You have to go back until we can have you transferred out,” Fate added, worried sick about Vivio, especially how sad she looked.

Vivio shook her head violently. “You don’t understand. I’m not going back.”

“Back where?” Nanoha asked.

“I won’t be going back,” Vivio choked, tears falling freely from her eyes. “I’m going away.”

“Going away?” the two asked instantly.

“Where are you going?” Nanoha shot out, trying to contain herself.

“Somewhere no one will find me,” she sobbed out harder, hugging Nanoha as tightly as she could. She wanted it to last. She wanted the memory of holding her to last forever.

“But there isn’t a place you could hide long enough to rest before moving on,” Fate said, confused by her goddaughter’s actions. “Where in the universe could you hide where they won’t find you?!”

Vivio sobbed harder. She knew she’d have to answer them soon. But choosing to prolong the moment further, she held her mother that much tighter. She didn’t want to forget. She never wanted to forget them. They were her life, much as she was their joy. She hated what she had to do, but she had no choice.

But in retrospect, she never had a choice. She was destined to walk this path to destruction. She could never have avoided this, just delay it.

Holding back her sobs as long as she could, she weakly said, “My grave.”

The horrified response from the two of them sent into another wave of tears as she hugged Nanoha again.

“Vivio, what are you doing talking about?”

“You can’t commit suicide! What about the rest of us?”

“HOW CAN I GO ON SUFFERING?!” Vivio bellowed out.

“Besides,” she muttered, feeling the spell completed. “I only have a few minutes left.” Muscles shutting down, she slumped into Nanoha’s arm.

“Vivio!” they cried out as Nanoha gently cradled Vivio in her arms.

“I don’t want to die,” Vivio whispered. “But I have to.”

“Vivio, don’t go!” Nanoha sobbed.

“Vivio, don’t do this! We can fight this together!” Fate cried, holding on tightly to her hands.

Vivio watched as tears fell freely from their eyes. But there was nothing she could do now. Soon, she’d be free, far from the world that only sought to harm her, but also far from the warm hearts of her mother.

“Don’t worry mama,” she weakly whimpered, feeling her body slowly shut down starting at her toes. “I’ll make a world for us. When you come, it’ll just be the three of us, right?”

“Vivio don’t say things like that!” Nanoha sobbed. This wasn’t happening. This just wasn’t happening. Her Vivio wasn’t dying. She just couldn’t be. Not when she had so much to do in life.

“Saint’s cradle…Experiment 01…that’s what they called me…but I’m not either of them…right?”

“Of course not,” Fate harshly admonished, her grip on the girl’s hand strong as ever. “You’re Takamachi Vivio, our daughter.”

“Yeah…I am…I’m the 16 year old daughter of Takamachi Nanoha and Fate…and I’m…I’m…Vivio.”

As her name left her lips, so did her final breath.

She watched sadly as she slowly slipped down. She didn’t see them cry out to her in horror and sadness. She didn’t hear them call out to her. She didn’t even know who they were anymore.

All she knew was one thing. She was, and forever would be, Vivio.

Well, it was very very interesting ... I do not like term commit suicide either, but in your story it was totaly different...
And I must congrtulate you for this, because it's one of the only stories that I read which me almost break in tears T.T
So, thanks for that.

[Satashi]

A musical play, written for the hell of it without much effort involved. Anyone who's seen the original will know find it funny, those who havn't well.... I hope you giggle at least :P
Takes place on Midchilda, in town, around an apartment complex. Characters are residents of said complex


A lone man walked down the streets of a rather nice looking neighborhood. Long blond hair trailed out behind him as the wind blew lightly, scattering fallen cherry blossoms leaves across the white sidewalk. As he looked around something caught his eye and made him stop to look at a building. The apartment complex was large and seemed very well kept, making him smile. Upon closer inspection his eyes lit up at the 'for rent' sign on the front door. Happy, he walked inside the large double doors and made a beeline to the receptionist desk.

Five minutes later a loud shocked cry could be heard from within. “You want how much for an apartment!?”

Yuuno sighed as he exited the building and looked out across the street. Wind blew again, sending a small chill down his spine and making him wrap the scarf around his neck tighter. As he continued his search he spoke out to himself, making a little song. “What do you do with a B.A. in research? What is my life going to be? Four years of college, and plenty of knowledge, have earned me this useless degree...” Looking to the left he winced at another nice looking apartment with the monthly payment plan underneath it. Continuing on, he spoke aloud some more as he went in an attempt to keep warm. “I can't pay the bills yet... because I have no skills yet. The world is a big scary place.” As he rounded a corner another housing area came into view and he walked over to it only to sigh at the 'rooms full' sign on the door. “But somehow I can't shake the feeling I might make a difference to the human race.” With a newfound courage he put his hands into his pockets and continued along the path to apartments that steadily started looking less and less fancy.

~**~

Hayate opened the front door to her apartment and stepped out into the morning sun. With a heave she tossed the garbage bag into the container by the corner and started to go back to her door but stopped when she saw one of her neighbors outside on his way to the garbage bin as well. “G'morning Chrono!”

Chrono looked over at the voice and gave the female a light grin. “Hey there Hayate, what's up?”

“Not too much, how about you? Shouldn't you be at work by now?”

With a light sigh Chrono shook his head and tossed his bag into the bin. “The T.S.A.B laid me off.”

“Oh I'm so sorry!” Hayate covered her mouth.

“Yeah me too.” Placing his hands into his pockets he let out an exasperated sigh. “Just look at me. Ten years out of college and I always thought...”

Hayate walked over to him and gave an encouraging smile. “What is it?”

“Nah, it's stupid.”

“Oh come on!” She slapped his arm playfully. “Tell me!”

“When I was little, I thought that I would be...”

“Mmhmm?” She walked along with him.

“A great Admiral, controlling a whole star fleet!”

“Hahahahaha!” Hayate stopped laughing when she realized he was being serious. “...Oh...”

Chrono continued. “And now I'm thirty-two, and as you can see; I'm not.”

“Nope,” Hayate paused by the entranceway to his building

“Oh well... It sucks to be me.”

“Aw, no it doesn't!” Hayate waved it off.

Chrono nodded against her argument. “It sucks to be broke, and unemployed, and turning thirty-three! It sucks to be me.”

“You think your problems are bad?”

Chrono nodded. “I think so.”

Hayate walked around him. “Your problems aren't so bad! I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart.”

“You know what, you are.”

“Thanks!” Hayate smiled. “I like romantic things, like music and art! And as you know, I have a gigantic heart! So tell me, why don't I have a boyfriend? Shit, it sucks to be me!”

Chrono moved around in front of his friend. “Yeah well, me too! It sucks to be Chrono-”

“And Hayate.”

“To not have a job-”

“-To not get laid!”

Both of them looked at each other and spoke at the same time. “It sucks to be me.” The two were about to continue their argument on who was having the worst string of luck but the door across from Chrono's apartment opened up to reveal two females caught up in their own argument. The first one out of the house was a pretty blonde with deep red eyes that were currently furrowed in anger. Her room mate came up to just about the other girl's shoulder and had a long lopsided ponytail that seemed to be hastily put up that morning. At the moment it seemed as if Nanoha, the brown haired blue eyed girl, was defending her right to come home at whatever time she pleased. Fate in turn was arguing that it made her worry and that it was not safe for her to be out so late at night. Chrono took a step towards the shouting girls and waved at them to get their attention. “Hey Nanoha, Fate, could you settle something for Hayate and me if you have a moment?”

“Sure,” Fate answered politely, her conflict currently distracted. “What's up?”

Hayate answered for her male friend. “Who's life sucks more, Chrono's or mine?”

The two new girls looked at them a moment before turning to face each other. “Ours!”

Fate started off the explanation. “We live together,”

“We're as close as people can get,” Nanoha finished her sentence.

“We've been the best of buddies,” Fate went on.

“Ever since the day we met.” Once more Nanoha finished the thought without a delay.

Fate turned back to Nanoha and glared. “So she knows every way to make me really upset! Ugh, every day is an aggravation.”

“Come on Fate-chan, that's an exaggeration!” Nanoha crossed her arms and fumed at her partner.

“You always leave your clothes out!” Fate protested, slinging out her arm. “You put your dirty dishes everywhere!”

“Oh yeah!?” Nanoha got in her face. “You do such anal things like ironing your underwear!”

Fate glared back, pissed at how the others were laughing at that fact. “And you go and use my brand new razors to shave off your pubic hair.” The look on Nanoha's flushed face made her happy her revenge statement had worked. “You make that very small apartment we share a hell.”

“So do you!” Nanoha pressed her forehead against Fate's and glared hard. “That's why I'm in hell too!”

Fate pulled away and growled. “It sucks to be me.”

Nanoha shook her head. “No, it sucks to be me.”

Hayate got in between them. “No, it sucks to be me!”

“All of you back off, it sucks to be me!” Chrono declared to them.

The four people all looked at each other and sighed. “Is there anyone here it doesn't suck to be?”

A new voice made all of them look to the sidewalk to see a man with long blond hair “Excuse me?” He asked shyly, looking at them all. “Um, I'm sorry to bother you guys but I'm looking for a place to live...”

Hayate leaned over Fate's shoulders to look at him. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Well,” Yuuno scratched the back of his neck. “I started off at section one but so far everything seems to be a little out of my price range... but this neighborhood doesn't seem so bad.” His eyes noticed a small sign next to the office building. “And look, a for rent sign!”

Chrono stepped forward and offered his hand to the newcomer. “Hey, I'm Chrono, nice to meet you.”

“Thanks, I'm Yuuno.” The blond grasped the hand and shook once firmly.

Hayate hopped up next and shook his hand as well. “You should probably talk to the superintendent.”

Chrono nodded. “Here, let me get'm for ya.”

“Great, thanks!” Yuuno shook the other girl's hands in turn.

After taking a deep breath Chrono cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled out towards the direction of the office. “Hey yo! Neo!”

“I'm coming, I'm coming!” A voice shouted back at them. Moments later a new fellow stepped out of the door and looked over at them.

Yuuno gasped loudly, pointing at him. “Oh my god you're Lone Wolf Neo!”

“Yes I am!” Neo agreed with a large smile before breaking into song. “I'm Love Wold Neo, fanfic author as you can see. I was doing fine until Satashi came and scammed me. So here I am, and it's most definitely the pits- but I'm here, the superintendent- of apartment complex six!”

Everyone beside Yuuno all spoke at the same time, making him jump back in shock at the suddenness of it. “It sucks to be you!”

“You win!” Nanoha cheered out.

“It sucks to be you!” They all sang out again happily.

“I feel better now,” Chrono nodded.

Neo walked towards the group. “Try having people stopping you on the street and asking you 'When's the next chapter coming out?!'... It gets old.”

“Back here in the sticks,” The others started singing again as Neo talked to Yuuno. “We're apartment complex six! It sucks to be us, but not when we're together! And we're together! Here in apartment complex six! We live in complex six!”

“Here's your keys!” Neo tossed them to the blonde.

“Thank you!” Yuuno almost caught them but missed, leaving it up to Hayate behind him to nimbly grab the object and hand it to the man. “Wow, thanks.”

“Don't mention it.” Hayate moved a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled up at him. 'He's kind of cute...'

Chrono slapped the blond on the back and grinned. “You're going to love it here!”

“Welcome!” Everyone else cheered at him. “To apartment complex six!”

[panzerfan]

I would wanna know what Chrono was implicated in to get him fired from the TSAB... (although that is a totally different topic and one that makes me glee a little, since it's more or less what I love to look at.)

I do enjoy Your Excellency's narratives very much. Don't ask me why I thought the characters would be in super deformed mode in my head though.

[Nightengale]

Okay, for those of you waiting for my JailUno II, looks like the wait is going to have be prolonged... :heh:

Because the Nightdarkness in me, had just decided to be an evil bastard due to a spark of inspiration.

“Mou, Vivio... you’ve got to learn to take care of your own body well.”

“Sorry... mama.”

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

~~~

“You don’t have to recheck, Shamal-sensei.”

“Vivio...chan...”

“I know myself well, even if you don’t.”

~~~

The same sound. The same sound again... and again... and again...

~~~

“Wait a minute, Shamal... I don’t understand. What did Vivio mean by that?”

“It means she’s no fool... She understands what’s going on with her body... Nanoha-chan... I’m deeply sorry. There’s nothing more I can do for her... Nothing short of a miracle can stop the genetic cellular decomposition that her body is now going through...”

~~~

...Revolves over and over, like an endless waltz.

Nanoha’s eyes were on the verge of tears, watching her daughter going through hell... a hell she caused. An outcome no one could’ve fathomed...

It was just fate playing it’s meager hand of irony.

The painful price... To save her freedom, for her to live her life as the daughter of the girl she loved, to possess the happiness of being Vivio Takamichi...

Her lifespan... the only thing that mattered to her as a weapon of Ancient Belka was taken away... by her very own mother.

~~~

“I’ll give her 10 days.”

~~~

The painful sounds of her cries, resonating across the white room. Her ragged breathing, her blurry vision...

And yet... she was smiling.

Estimated release time = Within the week or next. :p

[Chaos2Frozen]

Okay, for those of you waiting for my JailUno II, looks like the wait is going to have be prolonged... :heh:

Because the Nightdarkness in me, had just decided to be an evil bastard due to a spark of inspiration.

“Mou, Vivio... you’ve got to learn to take care of your own body well.”

“Sorry... mama.”

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

~~~

“You don’t have to recheck, Shamal-sensei.”

“Vivio...chan...”

“I know myself well, even if you don’t.”

~~~

The same sound. The same sound again... and again... and again...

~~~

“Wait a minute, Shamal... I don’t understand. What did Vivio mean by that?”

“It means she’s no fool... She understands what’s going on with her body... Nanoha-chan... I’m deeply sorry. There’s nothing more I can do for her... Nothing short of a miracle can stop the genetic cellular decomposition that her body is now going through...”

~~~

...Revolves over and over, like an endless waltz.

Nanoha’s eyes were on the verge of tears, watching her daughter going through hell... a hell she caused. An outcome no one could’ve fathomed...

It was just fate playing it’s meager hand of irony.

The painful price... To save her freedom, for her to live her life as the daughter of the girl she loved, to possess the happiness of being Vivio Takamichi...

Her lifespan... the only thing that mattered to her as a weapon of Ancient Belka was taken away... by her very own mother.

~~~

“I’ll give her 10 days.”

~~~

The painful sounds of her cries, resonating across the white room. Her ragged breathing, her blurry vision...

And yet... she was smiling.

Estimated release time = Within the week or next. :p




Hehhhhhhh~

So this is what my disciple has called to my attention...

[Keroko]

Okay, for those of you waiting for my JailUno II, looks like the wait is going to have be prolonged... :heh:

Because the Nightdarkness in me, had just decided to be an evil bastard due to a spark of inspiration.

“Mou, Vivio... you’ve got to learn to take care of your own body well.”

“Sorry... mama.”

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

~~~

“You don’t have to recheck, Shamal-sensei.”

“Vivio...chan...”

“I know myself well, even if you don’t.”

~~~

The same sound. The same sound again... and again... and again...

~~~

“Wait a minute, Shamal... I don’t understand. What did Vivio mean by that?”

“It means she’s no fool... She understands what’s going on with her body... Nanoha-chan... I’m deeply sorry. There’s nothing more I can do for her... Nothing short of a miracle can stop the genetic cellular decomposition that her body is now going through...”

~~~

...Revolves over and over, like an endless waltz.

Nanoha’s eyes were on the verge of tears, watching her daughter going through hell... a hell she caused. An outcome no one could’ve fathomed...

It was just fate playing it’s meager hand of irony.

The painful price... To save her freedom, for her to live her life as the daughter of the girl she loved, to possess the happiness of being Vivio Takamichi...

Her lifespan... the only thing that mattered to her as a weapon of Ancient Belka was taken away... by her very own mother.

~~~

“I’ll give her 10 days.”

~~~

The painful sounds of her cries, resonating across the white room. Her ragged breathing, her blurry vision...

And yet... she was smiling.

Estimated release time = Within the week or next. :p

Hmmmmmm. Dorama. And a perfectly reasonable scenario, too. Superpowered Starlight Breaker should leave some result behind, after all.

[Chaos2Frozen]

Hmmmmmm. Dorama. And a perfectly reasonable scenario, too. Superpowered Starlight Breaker should leave some result behind, after all.

:nod: :nod:

As expected of Nightengale, I still have alot to learn from him... Or to be more exact, his inner demon.

I can only hope that the bugger would just give me straight answers... :uhoh:

But this... 'Decomposition'... Hmmm... Glittery death? I certainly hope not.

[Keroko]

If it were any other writer, I'd say glittery death was possible. But this is nighty, glittery death is not among the list of possibillities.

Besides, glittery deaths aren't painfull. And Vivio is in great pain there.

[Kyral]

But this... 'Decomposition'... Hmmm... Glittery death? I certainly hope not.

I hope for something more cruel!

Don't get me wrong I like Vivio in both forms.
But for the sake of zee drama, she may die an horrible death.

[Tormenk]

:nod: :nod:

As expected of Nightengale, I still have alot to learn from him... Or to be more exact, his inner demon.

I can only hope that the bugger would just give me straight answers... :uhoh:

But this... 'Decomposition'... Hmmm... Glittery death? I certainly hope not.

Since it's Nighty, we know what to expect. Almost. :p

And "genetic cellular decomposition"? Glittery and fast would be a relief, in nicer terms. Slow and painful as the body breaks down and loses function one by one, wrecking the body apart, is the least to expect. Though I'm sure someone else can give us a more detailed explanation of the process. :nod: :D

[Keroko]

Or what about that hint that Nighty gave about Jail? I see Jail becomming awesome! here. :D

[Chaos2Frozen]

If it were any other writer, I'd say glittery death was possible. But this is nighty, glittery death is not among the list of possibillities.

Besides, glittery deaths aren't painfull. And Vivio is in great pain there.

That's the point, a glittery death won't do... Implosion? Liquidation?

Or a simple total system shut down?

Bah, no matter, it's the journey that counts.

I hope for something more cruel!

Don't get me wrong I like Vivio in both forms.
But for the sake of zee drama, she may die an horrible death.


In the end, Death is Death.

But what counts is how it would screw with the people around.

[Tormenk]

If it were any other writer, I'd say glittery death was possible. But this is nighty, glittery death is not among the list of possibillities.

Besides, glittery deaths aren't painfull. And Vivio is in great pain there.
That's the point, a glittery death won't do... Implosion? Liquidation?

Or a simple total system shut down?

Bah, no matter, it's the journey that counts.


In the end, Death is Death.

But what counts is how it would screw with the people around.

I see the opinions are unanimous among us. :D

Or what about that hint that Nighty gave about Jail? I see Jail becomming awesome! here. :D

Very. Jail would be the perfect cattle prod here. :D

[Kyral]

In the end, Death is Death.

But what counts is how it would screw with the people around.

Thats what i mean.
If she sufferes , the others suffer with her.

Let's see how the story unfolds. :)

[Chaos2Frozen]

Or what about that hint that Nighty gave about Jail? I see Jail becomming awesome! here. :D

Jail being awesome only mean one thing...

...Pouring dead sea water on wounds, and stabbing a rusted spike through the heart.

[Kikaifan]

I'm not the best person to be looking for for reviews but...

A fresh breath of air IMO, after all the main-character fics that've been flying around. Oh and the actual franchise too, since she's gotten the shelving now as well, along with her master and her fellow knights. The main players in this are pretty much in character too, though I'd beg to differ for Vita(love?what?), but I'd guess it's an excuse to not let her rob the focus.

And SignumXFate LOL. Fun stuff, though I'm feeling that the fun's not going to end anytime soon, even with that serious-looking mission looming...

Hey, thanks for the read.

SignumxFate is my 'thing' but I'm just throwing little bits of it around for now. I originally intended for this story to be a short and purely comical exercise (I just finished reading a bunch of Discworld books I hadn't been able to find previously... including, as one familiar with the series might guess, 'Guards! Guards!') but a serious plot with room for some of the more powerful and proportionately epic-plot-worthy OCs I've played around with since I got into Nanoha has suggested itself to me. I still need to decide which it's going to be, really.

As for Vita, I think all the Wolkenritter love Hayate, Vita's is just the least filtered through other ideals like codified notions of honor and service. The way they act about her I just can't call it anything else. Saying 'devotion' seems too cheap.

Any thoughts on the writing style? I tend to go into character thought process a lot at the expense of actual dialog, and telling the story through an 'Aa'-ing stoic like Signum doesn't help matters. I'm tempted to make more use her quirkier manga personality, but I think she can get OOC real fast if you assume she acts like that with everyone now.

[Keroko]

Jail being awesome only mean one thing...

...Pouring dead sea water on wounds, and stabbing a rusted spike through the heart.

Fate is going to feel the brunt of that one, me thinks.

[Chaos2Frozen]

Fate is going to feel the brunt of that one, me thinks.

Possible... Possible...

Actually, it's almost certain :heh:

One thing though, being objective of course, I would really like to see someone freaking out about themselves dying.

But of course, she's young, she's innocent, she's clueless... She might not have the fear of death.

[Tormenk]

Thats what i mean.
If she sufferes , the others suffer with her.

Let's see how the story unfolds. :)

You have great bearings about you. :cool:

Jail being awesome only mean one thing...

...Pouring dead sea water on wounds, and stabbing a rusted spike through the heart.

How about tearing old wounds apart too and pouring iron fillings into them? ;)

Fate is going to feel the brunt of that one, me thinks.

How fitting and ironic. Fate finally gets to play her mother role by during the final days as well as feeling the agony of being one, per through Jail's words no less.


It's been a very long time since this much nutrients has popped up for me. :D

[ghazghkull]

Okay, for those of you waiting for my JailUno II, looks like the wait is going to have be prolonged... :heh:

Because the Nightdarkness in me, had just decided to be an evil bastard due to a spark of inspiration.

“Mou, Vivio... you’ve got to learn to take care of your own body well.”

“Sorry... mama.”

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

~~~

“You don’t have to recheck, Shamal-sensei.”

“Vivio...chan...”

“I know myself well, even if you don’t.”

~~~

The same sound. The same sound again... and again... and again...

~~~

“Wait a minute, Shamal... I don’t understand. What did Vivio mean by that?”

“It means she’s no fool... She understands what’s going on with her body... Nanoha-chan... I’m deeply sorry. There’s nothing more I can do for her... Nothing short of a miracle can stop the genetic cellular decomposition that her body is now going through...”

~~~

...Revolves over and over, like an endless waltz.

Nanoha’s eyes were on the verge of tears, watching her daughter going through hell... a hell she caused. An outcome no one could’ve fathomed...

It was just fate playing it’s meager hand of irony.

The painful price... To save her freedom, for her to live her life as the daughter of the girl she loved, to possess the happiness of being Vivio Takamichi...

Her lifespan... the only thing that mattered to her as a weapon of Ancient Belka was taken away... by her very own mother.

~~~

“I’ll give her 10 days.”

~~~

The painful sounds of her cries, resonating across the white room. Her ragged breathing, her blurry vision...

And yet... she was smiling.

Estimated release time = Within the week or next. :p

Well that looks cruell...I'm looking forward to it XD

That's the point, a glittery death won't do... Implosion? Liquidation?

Or a simple total system shut down?

Bah, no matter, it's the journey that counts.




In the end, Death is Death.

But what counts is how it would screw with the people around.

Oh hells yes XD

Jail being awesome only mean one thing...

...Pouring dead sea water on wounds, and stabbing a rusted spike through the heart.

Considering Jail's insanity, it's a perfect metaphor XD

I am looking forward to this. It'll probably trump my one-shot, but was a drabble. Yours is a full blown one-shot short story XD

[Satashi]

Ugh, someone beat me to Vivio Drama. Maybe I should go ahead and post the part of 6th Division that revolves around Vivio.... After all, it's only a notion right now and isn't officially part of the storyline yet...

So who here wants some real-to-life angst, drama, tear inducing breath holding action?

6th Division: Resurrection
Summary: Fate and Nanoha start heading towards their dream of having a family, but when Fate's body reacts negatively to their unborn child they just might be heading down the road to turmoil...

Ages:
Fate/Nanoha/Hayate/Yuuno: 24
Tia/Subaru:20
Caro/Elio: 15-16
Lutecia: 18

[Chaos2Frozen]

You have great bearings about you. :cool:

But of course.

Prolong exposure to bluecheese can bring out hidden qualities within people :D



How about tearing old wounds apart too and pouring iron fillings into them? ;)


I think the point is there already :heh:



How fitting and ironic. Fate finally gets to play her mother role by during the final days as well as feeling the agony of being one, per through Jail's words no less.


It's been a very long time since this much nutrients has popped up for me. :D

We should expect no less from the Onkami.

[Tormenk]

Possible... Possible...

Actually, it's almost certain :heh:

One thing though, being objective of course, I would really like to see someone freaking out about themselves dying.

But of course, she's young, she's innocent, she's clueless... She might not have the fear of death.

Perhaps. Perhaps not. She has recovered some memories of her former incarnation so who knows? ;)

Though the black shadow views each entity equal and provides no graces regardless.

[panzerfan]

Hmm. A bit problematic in that if you die, you won't have much of a capability to even cry about things.
I suppose that I am more in the camp of trying not to get lost at the brilliances that may bring death as an unfortunate side effect.

I don't mind angst, but I want to balance the angst with the glory of some strokes of bloody genius that seemingly makes bloodshed of thousands beautiful and minor, since that's what the angst is missing. That or acts of gross stupidity that squander away lives and is to be scorned for gross inefficiency. Having it become front and center and overemphasized isn't my cup of tea.

[Kirika-chan]

Ugh, someone beat me to Vivio Drama. Maybe I should go ahead and post the part of 6th Division that revolves around Vivio.... After all, it's only a notion right now and isn't officially part of the storyline yet...

So who here wants some real-to-life angst, drama, tear inducing breath holding action?

6th Division: Resurrection
Summary: Fate and Nanoha start heading towards their dream of having a family, but when Fate's body reacts negatively to their unborn child they just might be heading down the road to turmoil...

Ages:
Fate/Nanoha/Hayate/Yuuno: 24
Tia/Subaru:20
Caro/Elio: 15-16
Lutecia: 18

It's seems really interesting ^^, but I don't really understand what happen with Fate and the child >_> sorry...

[Eagle8819]

Alright, I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing so I thought I'd run this story concept/characterization/writing style by you all for criticism before I get any further. If anyone's particularly enthused or vexed by any of it I'd like to hear from you!

Signum always knew life was about to become a lot more complicated than she liked when Hayate got that look on her face.

Her comrades didn’t seem to have the same finely-tuned danger sense. Why would they? Vita was too in love with Hayate, Zafira too doggedly (ha, ha) loyal, and Shamal too sympathetic to her sense of humor to mind any of their master’s whims. To them, there was no danger to detect. Signum was a little different though. Perhaps it was that as leader of the Wolkenritter she was expected to interpret the master’s orders and had been granted more independence to that end. Perhaps it was simply a matter of a more distant personality, or greater pride than was to be found in the other knights.

But whatever the cause, when she saw Hayate like this the sense of loyalty the sight of the young woman usually evoked in her was tempered by a distinct feeling of resignation. She was every inch a vision of stern authority; one hand on her hip and the other holding out the data-slate like the King’s own writ, her face graven. Every inch, that was, but for her eyes, which sparkled with amusement. Signum could well have become lost in that joy, were it not such a clear portent of troubles for her.

And for the fact that next to her master stood Testarossa, face in its usual benign cast but still definitely amused. Testarossa’s presence changed things. Being teased by Hayate wasn’t Signum’s favorite use for her time, but when it was done it would be done and she always found it easy to forgive her master what was, after all, merely the product of her good humor. With Testarossa she kept a running score and there was potential for lasting humiliation.

“What would you have of me?” Her voice betrayed none of her trepidation, though in its own way the choice of words certainly did. She knew seriousness would only encourage Hayate, but it helped her deal with these little ordeals. And she’d beat Laevateinn into a plowshare before she’d gripe about anything, anything at all, in front of Testarossa.

“Read this.” Hayate commanded as she stepped forward and handed the slate to her, then stepped back. Signum did not fail to note that Hayate’s eyes shot over to Testarossa’s as soon as she thought Signum was reading, nor the resulting smile the two shared. She did not quite sigh, but there was the suggestion of one in the way she closed her eyes before she began to read.

To her immense relief, the data-slate contained a mission profile. Whatever was so amusing her master, it would at least fall within the bounds of the Bureau’s activities. She skimmed over the profile- politically sensitive hostage situation, combat expected. Opposing forces, ‘see details’… that sounded promising. And the location was a special administration world, one of the Belkan protectorates. She didn’t see what was funny about any of this, but it sounded like a worthy mission for her. Why were they…?

The only warning came when she thumbed the slate over to the mission details. They referred the reader to the original request from the protectorate government, and instead of additional intelligence or an analysis there was simply a short preface from the Midchildan consular general which in incredibly self-conscious language related that the following information had been confirmed by the local Bureau staff, was completely serious, and was to be read as such. Frowning (and ignoring what sounded suspiciously like poorly-stifled giggles from Hayate drifting over from the opposite side of the slate), she opened the request.

It was… attention-grabbing. For one thing, it actually was the writ of a King. For another, it related in perfect seriousness the kidnapping of said King’s daughter. By a dragon. There was a formally-worded request for the Investigation Department’s expertise in such unusual cases in there somewhere, but Signum barely noticed it.

She stared at the data-slate. Some of her incredulity must have shown on her face, because Hayate chose that moment to make her opinion known.

“Isn’t it perfect, Signum?” Hayate beamed. Off to the side, Testarossa laughed lightly, a pleasant sound that nonetheless made Signum feel slightly ill.

“It is… unique.” So this was it. Somewhere, somehow, a scenario straight out of some old fairy-tale had been given life, and Hayate, out of a sense of romanticism or irony or something, had felt compelled to complete the arrangement with the addition of the proverbial Knight in Shining Armor.

“This request is very important,” Hayate began with a finger upraised. It was a touch sanctimonious, in Signum’s opinion. Obviously she intended to preempt any argument. “Besides the hostage herself, there’s been growing separatist sentiment on Erswin and our relations have suffered over the last few years. A request for the Bureau’s aid in a highly-visible situation like this is a rare opportunity for us to improve our image there, and having a knight lead the effort will remind the populace that Midchilda is still the center of Belkan culture. I’d like you to be that knight.”

As if that hadn't been perfectly clear from the beginning.

“Surely one of the Church Knights would suffice,” Signum countered. “I have my duties on Midchilda to attend to.” Not that Hayate would bother to ask unless she'd cleared it first. Hayate only asked for things she couldn't have when it was part of a strategy to get something else she really wanted.

“Ah-ah,” the finger wagged, and Signum felt dishearteningly like a child being scolded. “We can’t offer them anything but our best in this situation. Colonel Meyer agrees. And besides, you’ve been to Erswin before.”

So she remembered. Signum’s resistance collapsed. As ridiculous as the whole thing was, she had to admit it was a task she was uniquely well-suited to. And it would make her master happy. Surely she should see it as an opportunity…

Hayate sensed victory and put a hand on Signum’s shoulder, façade crumbling as she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “Who knows, maybe the King will give you his daughter’s hand in marriage? Carim and everybody agree you’re the handsomest Knight.”

Signum could have ignored that comment had not Testarossa, still enjoying the show from the sidelines, suddenly taken on a slightly flustered appearance and failed to meet her eyes. It was somehow worse than any comment the woman could have made.

“Very well.” She agreed, already planning a measure of revenge. “Erio and Carol are on Midchilda right now, aren’t they?

This little scene made me snicker. :D

Very nice. Very. I like how Signum's discomfort and suspicion on the little grins Hayate and Fate were sharing had been portrayed, and I think you have characterized her (and them) nicely. I especially liked the little interactions between Fate and Signum.

Any thoughts on the writing style? I tend to go into character thought process a lot at the expense of actual dialog, and telling the story through an 'Aa'-ing stoic like Signum doesn't help matters. I'm tempted to make more use her quirkier manga personality, but I think she can get OOC real fast if you assume she acts like that with everyone now.

There was a few lines here and there that I felt could be tweaked - a little choppy, sort of - but otherwise, I think the writing style you used suit Signum pretty well.

And going into character's thought process is a nice touch, actually, particularly for quiet people such as Signum. Or even Fate. Signum can be very stoic, but that doesn't mean she feels nothing.

I get what you mean by her getting ooc with the manga personality (though I wouldn't call it quirkier, maybe something...milder), but I doubt anyone will assume she acts that way with anyone - unless if said person did not watch MGLN A's, or, well, if said person doesn't understand the character. Otherwise, though, I don't see the problem with the manga personality. I think it rhymes with the series, really. Especially since it's been, what, ten years since the events in MGLN A's? Not to mention there's barely any screentime for her in StrikerS.

All in all, nice job. I'm definitely looking forward to more of this. ;)

[Keroko]

I don't mind angst, but I want to balance the angst with the glory of some strokes of bloody genius that seemingly makes bloodshed of thousands beautiful and minor, since that's what the angst is missing. That or acts of gross stupidity that squander away lives and is to be scorned for gross inefficiency. Having it become front and center and overemphasized isn't my cup of tea.

I'm not quite sure I'm following you, but if we are talking about the death of only one, and the impact it has on many, then you don't really need this, do you?

[panzerfan]

@Keroko:
Although this is an instance where the death of one is a byproduct from an act that has huge impact to what goes on in the 'background', which isn't the scope with the angst focus obviously.
Suppose you're right though...

whether or not if Nanoha heading into the Cradle and SLB Vivio is up to debate all of a sudden. The what-ifs can feed on itself for a long, long time...

[Demon Eyes]

HayatexVita? Eh, I touched at that before in the past. I can and can't see them together. For one, I don't think Vita knows what a relationship is, and two, I don't think....Hayate.... knows... what a relationship is. O.<

If it's written I might check it out tho.

All the better this fic would be! And the more props that go to the author!

Really, fics like those where feelings are shown to DEVELOP are WINAAR and all the more rare!


I swear if someone does do a serious fic about these two, I would scream in ex...es...ec...Arg!

But why don't you see them together, I find that it would be quite easy actually. Even though Vita might not know of relationships(I don't think any one does at first actually), She is quite filled with emotion, better than the other two knights!

Looking back, when they were still doing THE DEED, it was her that was conscious of the bad in the acts they did..Well, mostly her!

So I hereby wave a HayatexVita flag!

But in no way should this shorten down the NanohaxFate fire that seems to be burning brightly at the moment!

Amen...

[Demon Eyes]

Something I wrote within 20 minutes. No editing or proofreading was performed on this. This is raw. And it's some random drabble I did from Signum's point of view.

Watching them sleep, I couldn’t help but notice how close the two of them really were.

Ever since the days we had first met Hayate, we all had developed close bonds to our master, each in our own different ways.

I had taken the role as her surrogate older sister, one who would protect her and gave her advice as needed. Shamal became a role similar to that of a mother, or possibly an aunt of sorts. Zafira had taken on a role to that of the family body guard. But Vita’s role was somewhat clouded, obscured. It may be paranoia on my part, but it seemed there was something more to Vita’s connection to our master.

The two of them, even to this day slept in the same bed whenever they had the chance. And always, Vita would snuggle up against our Master and fell asleep long before our master would.

Despite her maturity, she was always different towards Hayate. It seemed to borderline obsession towards our master. Lately, her training had begun to intensify. She began to push herself more and more, as if there was some hidden goal behind her actions that the rest of us were unaware of. It bothered me slightly, considering how she often would return exhausted, but would then take a set of cartridges and charge them. An odd action, since it was Shamal would charge all of our cartridges so we didn’t have to.

As the years had gone by, Vita had only continued to become more and more attached to Hayate, but with it, her obsessive-like tendencies waned. Most likely she had smartened up and realized what she was doing to herself. Her training habits reflected it, along with her desires to charge her cartridges.

However, now I’m wondering again. Graf Eisen’s report had been somewhat disturbing. While his Destruction Form was nothing new, it was the fact she was fighting in a possessed manner that had me concerned.

She had poured everything into her attacks against the engine.

While that in itself was of no consequence, it was her words that somewhat bothered me.

If anything, she almost seemed to be willing to throw her life away for the honour of our master.

But then again, I suppose it was only natural. Although I fail to understand it fully myself, I suppose Vita loves our master in a different manner the rest of us do. I do not know if bears any resemblance to the way Testarossa and Nanoha love each other, but I know some of the aspects are there.

But it doesn’t matter. So long as Vita continues to protect our master, and able to spend whatever time she has with our master, I’m sure she’ll be happy.

Such a child Vita could be sometimes.

But…perhaps it is that child within Vita that gives her the drive to fight like she does. She was the last of us to be created.

Rest well Vita. You deserve it most of the four Cloud Knights.

:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:
:kisskiss::kisskiss::kisskiss::kisskiss::kisskiss:

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Short but thoughtsome!...I mean awesome!

"Excellent"

[Demon Eyes]

Please, please, please read this and give me your comments. I'd really appreciated to your hear your comments before I post this on FF.net

It's another one-shot I had put together. I came up with this one after listening to Eva by Nightwish for a lengthly amount of time.

Forever Vivio

“Hurry up! We’re losing containment!”

“It’s no good! Her output is breaching critical!”

“We’ve got to do something!”

“Everyone get out, NOW!”

“STARLIGHT BREAKER!!”

“MAMA?!”

Suddenly bolting upright, Vivio panted hard as the sudden memory of a session had come to the forefront of her memory.

“I did it again,” she sadly sighed, idly threading her hand through her hair.

Ever since she had started to actively train her magical abilities at the age of 10, her powers had grown by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately, her growth had been far out of control, that limiters had been placed on her when she was 13. But even then, they’d only last a while before her powers spiked again, destroying the limiters.

For the last two years when her powers began to spike, she had been going through this.

And now, they had begun to experiment her powers to see where it would take them, to see if they could control her powers in one way or another. One after another, they all ended in failure. Before it had only been equipments overloading, or a few mages hurt by her sudden power spikes. But recently, it had ended up with her powers overloading forcing one of her mothers to knock her out.

She hated how she had to live like this. When her powers began to manifest, her friends had simply been in awe. The idea of magic wasn’t new, so they simply treated like any other mage who discovered her powers: supported her. But as her powers grew, the friendship withered. People began to fear her. Her powers were too great to control, too great to associate with. Eventually left with no friends, she had dropped out of school, learning from whatever books she could obtain from online sources.

Her home life never changed though. There, she was truly happy. There her powers were never used. There, she could smile as she and her mothers spent their time with each other. It was there she could be in bliss, never to worry of the outside world.

But now, she needed more. She needed to go out, to have friends, to live.

But she couldn’t have that. A few months ago, her powers grew too great to live in the standard homes. Against the wishes of her mothers, and her grandmother, along with the protest of some of the most prominent members of the TSAB and even some of the Admiralty, she had been forced into a life of solitude, aboard the Asura A. Although visited by all those dear to her, she was alone. Like when she was a child, she was now nothing more than an experiment, an object meant to be observed, studied, and learned from.

Since her incarceration, she had been contemplating on a particular train of thought. One that would change everyone’s lives, especially her mothers’.

Unfortunately, the last experiment had solidified that decision.

“I can’t stay here,” she sighed sadly, as she focused within herself, calling forth her powers as they began to overwhelm her limiters. Soon enough, she began to spill with power as it took on a physical aura around her.

“It’s pink and yellow,” she idly said aloud, looking at her hand. To her it was an irony. To her, pink and yellow stood for peace and justice, colours she had always associated with Nanoha and Fate. She had always placed her aura as black, representing the darkness of her creation, of her powers. She was someone who was made for nothing but destruction. It pained her that she bore colours that she believed weren’t meant for her.

Clenching her fist, her aura solidified into a barrier jacket. It was the same as that time years ago when she was on the Belkan ship, but this time, it was white, and the gloves were fingerless this time. Another irony, as it was. She had emulated the colour of her mother, when the last time she had taken this form, it was opposite of what she was now.

Hardly acknowledging the blaring alarms, or the orders to stand down, she sadly look up at the ceiling, and instantly propelled herself high into the air, easily punching through layers upon layers of steel and reinforced bulkhead. Smashing through the hull, she called upon her powers as it created a portal and took her out of dimensional space.

Coming out, she landed within the cherry blossom field.

A clear sunny afternoon greeted her. Above the birds happily chirped as they flew through the skies, while ground animals crawled around as they went about their lives. Around her, the pink petals danced around her, gently embracing her in their warmth.

Tears lightly prickled her eyes as she hugged herself. She hated what she had to do. But if she didn’t do it, she would continue that miserable existence as JS Experiment 01. That was all she was to them. She wasn’t a person. She wasn’t a girl. She wasn’t Takamachi Vivio. To them, she was just Experiment 01. She was a thing to them.

They had tested her, probed her, measured her; they questioned her like she was a machine of sorts. Never once had they ever given her any indication she was human.

Emotionally unstable already, the only thing that she could hold on to when they had forced her into that ship was the memories of her mothers. Their kindness, their love towards her, was all she had to hold on. Nothing else existed that could have saved her from the painful month as they did so many things to her, that would continue to haunt her memories.

Ultimately, it came down to the fact she was just a thing. She was never human.

So it was how she had come to the decision she made.

She would destroy herself. She had caused enough damage already. She wanted to be free. She only wished she could bring her mothers with her.

“Good bye, everyone,” she tearfully said as a Belkan magic circle formed below her. Muttering in Belkan, she began to call forth the powers that would forever end her life, end her existence. Once done, she would be free. It would be over.

“Vivio!”

Looking up, she watched as her mothers dive down right at her before finding herself knocked off her feet as the two of them held her in a tight hug.

Questions of her wellbeing was thrown at her in rapid succession she could barely register it.

“Mama, mama, I’m fine,” she finally exclaimed, calming the two of them down, all the while silently completing her spell.

“Vivio, what did you do?” Fate asked immediately. “Hayate said that you had left the ship adrift one moment before you were detected here. What’s going on?”

Vivio could only weakly stare at the two of them. This was the last thing she’d ever see. There was no way around it. There were too many powers that could capture her and continue to experiment on her. Never again she would allow it, but there was only one way she could do it.

Breaking into tears, she pulled her mothers into a strong embrace as she sobbed. She was going to lose them. She was going to lose her only place of true happiness. She hated her powers. She hated the fact she had been given these powers. Since the very beginning it gave her nothing but pain and suffering.

“Why?!” was the only thing she could say as she cried. She could only continue to question what could never be answered.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Fate whispered softly into Vivio’s ear, gently rubbing her back, comforting her as best she could. Nanoha held onto one of Vivio’s hand as she lightly ran her hand through Vivio’s hair, an action she knew would also help calm the girl down.

“Nanoha-mama, Fate-mama,” Vivio choked as the looked directly at the two. “I can’t go back.”

“But there’s nothing we can do Vivio,” Nanoha stated. Although the fact she would soon be separated from her daughter was near, she would try to spend what little time she could with her.

“You have to go back until we can have you transferred out,” Fate added, worried sick about Vivio, especially how sad she looked.

Vivio shook her head violently. “You don’t understand. I’m not going back.”

“Back where?” Nanoha asked.

“I won’t be going back,” Vivio choked, tears falling freely from her eyes. “I’m going away.”

“Going away?” the two asked instantly.

“Where are you going?” Nanoha shot out, trying to contain herself.

“Somewhere no one will find me,” she sobbed out harder, hugging Nanoha as tightly as she could. She wanted it to last. She wanted the memory of holding her to last forever.

“But there isn’t a place you could hide long enough to rest before moving on,” Fate said, confused by her goddaughter’s actions. “Where in the universe could you hide where they won’t find you?!”

Vivio sobbed harder. She knew she’d have to answer them soon. But choosing to prolong the moment further, she held her mother that much tighter. She didn’t want to forget. She never wanted to forget them. They were her life, much as she was their joy. She hated what she had to do, but she had no choice.

But in retrospect, she never had a choice. She was destined to walk this path to destruction. She could never have avoided this, just delay it.

Holding back her sobs as long as she could, she weakly said, “My grave.”

The horrified response from the two of them sent into another wave of tears as she hugged Nanoha again.

“Vivio, what are you doing talking about?”

“You can’t commit suicide! What about the rest of us?”

“HOW CAN I GO ON SUFFERING?!” Vivio bellowed out.

“Besides,” she muttered, feeling the spell completed. “I only have a few minutes left.” Muscles shutting down, she slumped into Nanoha’s arm.

“Vivio!” they cried out as Nanoha gently cradled Vivio in her arms.

“I don’t want to die,” Vivio whispered. “But I have to.”

“Vivio, don’t go!” Nanoha sobbed.

“Vivio, don’t do this! We can fight this together!” Fate cried, holding on tightly to her hands.

Vivio watched as tears fell freely from their eyes. But there was nothing she could do now. Soon, she’d be free, far from the world that only sought to harm her, but also far from the warm hearts of her mother.

“Don’t worry mama,” she weakly whimpered, feeling her body slowly shut down starting at her toes. “I’ll make a world for us. When you come, it’ll just be the three of us, right?”

“Vivio don’t say things like that!” Nanoha sobbed. This wasn’t happening. This just wasn’t happening. Her Vivio wasn’t dying. She just couldn’t be. Not when she had so much to do in life.

“Saint’s cradle…Experiment 01…that’s what they called me…but I’m not either of them…right?”

“Of course not,” Fate harshly admonished, her grip on the girl’s hand strong as ever. “You’re Takamachi Vivio, our daughter.”

“Yeah…I am…I’m the 16 year old daughter of Takamachi Nanoha and Fate…and I’m…I’m…Vivio.”

As her name left her lips, so did her final breath.

She watched sadly as she slowly slipped down. She didn’t see them cry out to her in horror and sadness. She didn’t hear them call out to her. She didn’t even know who they were anymore.

All she knew was one thing. She was, and forever would be, Vivio.

Oh Dearest God!

So many waters...So soon!

But why is her name Takamachi Vivio @ 16 and not Takamachi T. Vivio?!! I still feel like there in no strong relationship btn Vivio and Fate as it is btn Vivio and Nanoha!

Perhaps it's just me!

[ghazghkull]

A musical play, written for the hell of it without much effort involved. Anyone who's seen the original will know find it funny, those who havn't well.... I hope you giggle at least :P
Takes place on Midchilda, in town, around an apartment complex. Characters are residents of said complex


A lone man walked down the streets of a rather nice looking neighborhood. Long blond hair trailed out behind him as the wind blew lightly, scattering fallen cherry blossoms leaves across the white sidewalk. As he looked around something caught his eye and made him stop to look at a building. The apartment complex was large and seemed very well kept, making him smile. Upon closer inspection his eyes lit up at the 'for rent' sign on the front door. Happy, he walked inside the large double doors and made a beeline to the receptionist desk.

Five minutes later a loud shocked cry could be heard from within. “You want how much for an apartment!?”

Yuuno sighed as he exited the building and looked out across the street. Wind blew again, sending a small chill down his spine and making him wrap the scarf around his neck tighter. As he continued his search he spoke out to himself, making a little song. “What do you do with a B.A. in research? What is my life going to be? Four years of college, and plenty of knowledge, have earned me this useless degree...” Looking to the left he winced at another nice looking apartment with the monthly payment plan underneath it. Continuing on, he spoke aloud some more as he went in an attempt to keep warm. “I can't pay the bills yet... because I have no skills yet. The world is a big scary place.” As he rounded a corner another housing area came into view and he walked over to it only to sigh at the 'rooms full' sign on the door. “But somehow I can't shake the feeling I might make a difference to the human race.” With a newfound courage he put his hands into his pockets and continued along the path to apartments that steadily started looking less and less fancy.

~**~

Hayate opened the front door to her apartment and stepped out into the morning sun. With a heave she tossed the garbage bag into the container by the corner and started to go back to her door but stopped when she saw one of her neighbors outside on his way to the garbage bin as well. “G'morning Chrono!”

Chrono looked over at the voice and gave the female a light grin. “Hey there Hayate, what's up?”

“Not too much, how about you? Shouldn't you be at work by now?”

With a light sigh Chrono shook his head and tossed his bag into the bin. “The T.S.A.B laid me off.”

“Oh I'm so sorry!” Hayate covered her mouth.

“Yeah me too.” Placing his hands into his pockets he let out an exasperated sigh. “Just look at me. Ten years out of college and I always thought...”

Hayate walked over to him and gave an encouraging smile. “What is it?”

“Nah, it's stupid.”

“Oh come on!” She slapped his arm playfully. “Tell me!”

“When I was little, I thought that I would be...”

“Mmhmm?” She walked along with him.

“A great Admiral, controlling a whole star fleet!”

“Hahahahaha!” Hayate stopped laughing when she realized he was being serious. “...Oh...”

Chrono continued. “And now I'm thirty-two, and as you can see; I'm not.”

“Nope,” Hayate paused by the entranceway to his building

“Oh well... It sucks to be me.”

“Aw, no it doesn't!” Hayate waved it off.

Chrono nodded against her argument. “It sucks to be broke, and unemployed, and turning thirty-three! It sucks to be me.”

“You think your problems are bad?”

Chrono nodded. “I think so.”

Hayate walked around him. “Your problems aren't so bad! I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart.”

“You know what, you are.”

“Thanks!” Hayate smiled. “I like romantic things, like music and art! And as you know, I have a gigantic heart! So tell me, why don't I have a boyfriend? Shit, it sucks to be me!”

Chrono moved around in front of his friend. “Yeah well, me too! It sucks to be Chrono-”

“And Hayate.”

“To not have a job-”

“-To not get laid!”

Both of them looked at each other and spoke at the same time. “It sucks to be me.” The two were about to continue their argument on who was having the worst string of luck but the door across from Chrono's apartment opened up to reveal two females caught up in their own argument. The first one out of the house was a pretty blonde with deep red eyes that were currently furrowed in anger. Her room mate came up to just about the other girl's shoulder and had a long lopsided ponytail that seemed to be hastily put up that morning. At the moment it seemed as if Nanoha, the brown haired blue eyed girl, was defending her right to come home at whatever time she pleased. Fate in turn was arguing that it made her worry and that it was not safe for her to be out so late at night. Chrono took a step towards the shouting girls and waved at them to get their attention. “Hey Nanoha, Fate, could you settle something for Hayate and me if you have a moment?”

“Sure,” Fate answered politely, her conflict currently distracted. “What's up?”

Hayate answered for her male friend. “Who's life sucks more, Chrono's or mine?”

The two new girls looked at them a moment before turning to face each other. “Ours!”

Fate started off the explanation. “We live together,”

“We're as close as people can get,” Nanoha finished her sentence.

“We've been the best of buddies,” Fate went on.

“Ever since the day we met.” Once more Nanoha finished the thought without a delay.

Fate turned back to Nanoha and glared. “So she knows every way to make me really upset! Ugh, every day is an aggravation.”

“Come on Fate-chan, that's an exaggeration!” Nanoha crossed her arms and fumed at her partner.

“You always leave your clothes out!” Fate protested, slinging out her arm. “You put your dirty dishes everywhere!”

“Oh yeah!?” Nanoha got in her face. “You do such anal things like ironing your underwear!”

Fate glared back, pissed at how the others were laughing at that fact. “And you go and use my brand new razors to shave off your pubic hair.” The look on Nanoha's flushed face made her happy her revenge statement had worked. “You make that very small apartment we share a hell.”

“So do you!” Nanoha pressed her forehead against Fate's and glared hard. “That's why I'm in hell too!”

Fate pulled away and growled. “It sucks to be me.”

Nanoha shook her head. “No, it sucks to be me.”

Hayate got in between them. “No, it sucks to be me!”

“All of you back off, it sucks to be me!” Chrono declared to them.

The four people all looked at each other and sighed. “Is there anyone here it doesn't suck to be?”

A new voice made all of them look to the sidewalk to see a man with long blond hair “Excuse me?” He asked shyly, looking at them all. “Um, I'm sorry to bother you guys but I'm looking for a place to live...”

Hayate leaned over Fate's shoulders to look at him. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Well,” Yuuno scratched the back of his neck. “I started off at section one but so far everything seems to be a little out of my price range... but this neighborhood doesn't seem so bad.” His eyes noticed a small sign next to the office building. “And look, a for rent sign!”

Chrono stepped forward and offered his hand to the newcomer. “Hey, I'm Chrono, nice to meet you.”

“Thanks, I'm Yuuno.” The blond grasped the hand and shook once firmly.

Hayate hopped up next and shook his hand as well. “You should probably talk to the superintendent.”

Chrono nodded. “Here, let me get'm for ya.”

“Great, thanks!” Yuuno shook the other girl's hands in turn.

After taking a deep breath Chrono cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled out towards the direction of the office. “Hey yo! Neo!”

“I'm coming, I'm coming!” A voice shouted back at them. Moments later a new fellow stepped out of the door and looked over at them.

Yuuno gasped loudly, pointing at him. “Oh my god you're Lone Wolf Neo!”

“Yes I am!” Neo agreed with a large smile before breaking into song. “I'm Love Wold Neo, fanfic author as you can see. I was doing fine until Satashi came and scammed me. So here I am, and it's most definitely the pits- but I'm here, the superintendent- of apartment complex six!”

Everyone beside Yuuno all spoke at the same time, making him jump back in shock at the suddenness of it. “It sucks to be you!”

“You win!” Nanoha cheered out.

“It sucks to be you!” They all sang out again happily.

“I feel better now,” Chrono nodded.

Neo walked towards the group. “Try having people stopping you on the street and asking you 'When's the next chapter coming out?!'... It gets old.”

“Back here in the sticks,” The others started singing again as Neo talked to Yuuno. “We're apartment complex six! It sucks to be us, but not when we're together! And we're together! Here in apartment complex six! We live in complex six!”

“Here's your keys!” Neo tossed them to the blonde.

“Thank you!” Yuuno almost caught them but missed, leaving it up to Hayate behind him to nimbly grab the object and hand it to the man. “Wow, thanks.”

“Don't mention it.” Hayate moved a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled up at him. 'He's kind of cute...'

Chrono slapped the blond on the back and grinned. “You're going to love it here!”

“Welcome!” Everyone else cheered at him. “To apartment complex six!”

Well...this was absolutely adorable XD

:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:
:kisskiss::kisskiss::kisskiss::kisskiss::kisskiss:

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Short but thoughtsome!...I mean awesome!

"Excellent"

Wow...I wrote that on a whim really....although you gave me an idea...I didn't really know where to go with that one XD

[Keroko]

Oh Dearest God!

So many waters...So soon!

But why is her name Takamachi Vivio @ 16 and not Takamachi T. Vivio?!! I still feel like there in no strong relationship btn Vivio and Fate as it is btn Vivio and Nanoha!

Perhaps it's just me!

I suppose something not NXF would come as a shock to the people here. :rolleyes:

Though really, it is Takamachi Vivio in the anime, not Takamachi Testarossa Vivio.

[ghazghkull]

I suppose something not NXF would come as a shock to the people here. :rolleyes:

Though really, it is Takamachi Vivio in the anime, not Takamachi Testarossa Vivio.

Thank you. Now I don't need to explain that point out XD

Oh btw, I am curious, any chance that you have some sort of scene where Vivio and Keroko have met? You might've posted it, but I had simply missed it. I'm asking particularly because of your signature, and that adorble pic of Vivio hugging Keroko ^^ XD

[Keroko]

Thank you. Now I don't need to explain that point out XD

Oh btw, I am curious, any chance that you have some sort of scene where Vivio and Keroko have met? You might've posted it, but I had simply missed it. I'm asking particularly because of your signature, and that adorble pic of Vivio hugging Keroko ^^ XD

No, at least not on paper. :heh: The scenario in my sig is in my head, I just need to type it out. :eyespin:

[Demon Eyes]

Satashi in Digital Short 16

“Forever?”

“And ever.”

Our lips touched together gently.

...Amen!

I love these shorts. The are so filled with emotion and I love fics that make me re-read a lie just to get my heart to do the "thing"

[ghazghkull]

Well here's another practice one-shot that I've concocted. Those who actually look, basically what I'm looking for right now is if this flows well, and if I gave enough background to backup what's been going on.

I will say right now that I am aware of what I had fate do is possibly OOC. HOWEVER, I'm wondering if the way I had Fate do what she did is believable.

How did it end up like this?

We were supposed to be the best of friends forever.

But something happened.

We both changed.

And now, as we stare down each other, we know that one of us wasn’t going to walk away from this alive. One of us was going to die. There was no way around it. Not anymore. I failed you back then Fate-chan. I let them do something horrible to you, and you never forgave me for it.

I had allowed them to infect you with something, which only they could cure. So you had willingly joined them, despite my efforts to stop you.

I guess this was just meant to be.

We met as enemies.

We shall die as enemies.


Above the burning city, two mages stared down one another as they prepared to fight.

There was no other choice to be made. As phrased by the great Optimus Prime in cartoon history, “One shall stand, one shall fall.”

Two of the greatest mages in TSAB history gazed upon one another. Steel determination echoed within their eyes.

Both were determined to defeat the other, each with one goal in mind: to free someone from repression. One was to release someone from a disease, the other to free someone from captivity. There was nothing that could stop what they would do. Both ready to pay the sacrifice, they readied their weapons as they called forth their battle forms.

“Raising Heart, Exceed Mode!”

“Bardiche, Overdrive, Sonic Form!”

“Excelion Mode”

“Sonic Drive”

In a burst of energy, both warriors surged forward as both warriors called upon their weapons again.

“Riot Blade”

“Strike Flame”

In an explosion of energy, weapons collide as shockwaves of great proportions rippled through the very air, knocking all in its wake clean off their support.

Not giving in for a moments rest, both warriors charged in again as mighty war cries erupted from their lips, as tears of anger and sadness poured from their eyes.

Forced into this combat that neither could back down from, they took solace that they could share one last thing together: an all out battle between the two of them. Everything else they had shared had no meaning anymore.

Their daughter, the only they had left to share was dead. Suffering from the very same disease one of them was suffering; her body had succumbed to the disease before either could get the antidote to her. Despite their best efforts, the girl had died with a smile on her face, glad she could’ve said goodbye.

But unfortunately, that had been the last of the falling supports that ultimately set the two on either side of the line. Nanoha stayed with the TSAB, while Fate had joined the darkness once more, with the promise of being given a cure for her ailing body.

But for all its worth, she had only been given countermeasures that would ensure her body stayed in top form. She had but one final task in order to finally be given the medicine that would allow her to live: destroy the Ace of Aces.

Raging forth, both warriors clashed in a brilliance of magic and power. Neither would back down, not when so much was on the line. They would complete their mission, even if it was the last thing they did.

“Plasma Lancer!”

“Accel Shooter!”

A mighty explosion boomed between them as their attacks collided. Diving deep into the smoke, they clashed one more as a fury of yellow and pink filled the sky, struggling from supremacy. Back and forth they clashed, as every contact and blow erupted through the air, as the pain filled attacks touched those who could do nothing but watch the two superpowers fight it out in one final clash.

They, who had been once the greatest of friends, had been reduced to bitter enemies, heartbroken by the actions of one another, who could never forgive one another. Though their love for each other stood strong, their hatred for each others crimes stood stronger still, and trumped the love.

Nanoha had done the unforgivable: allowed their Vivio to become infected by the very disease Fate had been infected with. But Fate was stronger, and was able to fight off the disease. But Vivio, being only 7 years old, her body wasn’t able to fight it off. It had cost her life.

Nanoha had to do one simple thing: do not let her barrier drop, and blow every single last one of them out of the sky. But she had failed. She had opened up a hole in her barrier to let the forwards in, but had held it open to long. One had gotten away, and managed to set off its payload.

Although it had hit an unoccupied area, Vivio had been close enough to catch the edge of the cloud that infected the air before it had been sealed off.

Fate, in her anger had committed a sin of her own: betray everything she knew and stood for in her anger and sadness. She became everything she stood against. She fought for the enemy, all in hopes that she would get the antidote to live. But to Nanoha, it made no sense. She could’ve been happier with her, even though Vivio had died.

There was no logic to why Fate left them for the enemy. To this day, she never figured it out. What would she do after she got the antidote? She had made herself into a criminal once more, and this time she wouldn’t be spared from the penalties that the TSAB would set out against her. She had wilfully turned on them. She would be punished, and forever branded a criminal, a traitor.

So what was there to gain joining the enemy; to go on living a full life in utter shame?

“Why?!” Nanoha bellowed as brought the tip of the Strike Flame upon Fate only to have it stopped by her Riot Blade. “Why are you doing this?! Answer me this time!”

“So I can bring back Vivio!” Fate yelled back, forcefully pushing Nanoha back as she charged in for an attack.

“Where my mother failed, I will succeed!”

“But that’s impossible,” Nanoha panted as she struggled to defend. Although she had learned much from Fate, she was still nowhere her level of proficiency.

“You can’t bring back the dead!”

“Her brain’s still alive!” Fate screamed. “I’ve hidden her in a special compartment underneath our bed that even you never knew of!” Nanoha’s face visibly paled at the sudden statement.

Fate didn’t know: their home had just been destroyed just 10 minutes prior. If Vivio even was alive before, she had truly died now. What was she going to tell Fate now? That her efforts were in vain? That everything that she had done until now was for naught?

“I will build her a new body,” Fate exclaimed, surprising Nanoha when she struck her with the broad side of her blade. “I will use the very technology and powers that created my body, and place her brain inside! I’ll bring her back. You’ll see! I’d gladly trade everything to see her alive again!”

“But…but how does that work?” Nanoha screamed tearfully. “How can you live knowing that you’ll probably never see her grow up? To never see her accomplishments, to see her graduate, fall in love. Can you truly believe that you’ll be happy, to never be there for her? To guide her through life? Can you live with yourself knowing you’ll never watch her life play out?!”

“It doesn’t matter as long as Vivio is alive,” Fate screamed back, as her attacks intensified to new levels. “I meant that I’d give everything, including my own life to bring her back!”

“How can you say something like that?” Nanoha shouted back, firing off several shots towards Fate. “Don’t you want to see everything she would go through if you saw this through?”

“You would take care of her,” Fate responded, as she called for Riot Zanber as her sudden barrage of two blades began to overwhelm Nanoha. “You would make her happy. I know you’d do your best to give her the best life she could have with you!”

“But she’d know it’s better with you! You said so yourself. If she was still alive, she’d know life was better with the two of us.”

“Was alive? She is still alive! She’s under our bed!”

“No she’s not,” Nanoha sobbed as they locked blades. “Our room was just destroyed…our floor, the floor below, and the floor above our room…nothing’s left. Just a hole.”

Nanoha felt her heart squeeze as Fate’s slumped.

Riot Zanber held loosely in her hands, her arms swayed gently from the weight while her hair flew about her, creating a haze around her, clouding Nanoha from her reaction.

But she didn’t have to wait long as she suddenly felt her world slow around her.

In a scream of fury, Nanoha paled as she came face to face with the ferocity of Fate’s visage. Eyes utterly dilated to the point there was nothing but red, Nanoha felt she was staring into the face of the beast. In a burst of anger, she bared her teeth, which seemed almost demonic-like when in an explosion of power, she surged forth.

Nanoha could watch in slow motion as she came to her. There was nothing she could do to defend herself. There was no way to call upon her Round Shield on time. Fate was far to fast in her Sonic Form. Raising Heart did not have that kind of reaction time to keep up.

“Fate-chan, stop!” Nanoha cried out.

“Strike Flame Expansion”

In a sudden squelch of blade piercing flesh, those who watched could only watch in horror as the act before them play out.

“Nanoha,” Fate weakly muttered. Glancing down at her chest, she saw Raising Heart Excelion Strike Flame embedded into her chest. It probably pierced her heart if anything.

“I guess, we can go see Vivio,” Nanoha weakly chuckled, not even having to look down to know Bardiche’s two blades had cut embedded themselves into her lungs. She probably only had less than a minute before her body gave out.

“Nanoha…” Fate weakly sobbed.

“Hush,” Nanoha whispered, leaning her forehead against Fate’s. “Just let your anger go. You’re forgiven.”

“So are you,” Fate weakly replied.

“I’ll see you on the other side, Fate-chan,” Nanoha weakly whispered, before capturing her lips into one final kiss.

[panzerfan]

@ghazghkull: you have written something that has made me feel rather sad. Now I must make tragedy impersonal.

Momoko really did not want to see those under her bloody their hands. This is the same be it anyone under her care…

Due to the fact that Midchilda was under martial law, it was not until July before the news of the bloody massacre reached Momoko. When Momoko heard the news about Nanoha and Fate’s death from a completely paled and whimpering Suzuka, she felt only a blank, and her heart ached as she fell to silence. During that day, she locked herself in her ready room, and did not come out at all.


By the end of July, Momoko started to reorganize the irregulars, as it headed for central Midchilda. Before the dawn of war, all save Momoko were bathed in anxiety.


Flames of war, bloodied gore; Day of peace, naught to seize.
Galaxies asunder, glory lies down under;
Unknowing to review, Unwilling to resume.

---

By August, Momoko’s ragtag fleet was at the outskirt of the Midchilda system, and she was poised to siege central Midchilda.

There existed credible political and tactical rationale for her to be there.

The Liberation Front could no longer extend its reaches now that the ‘Home fleet’ was annihilated. Collapse of the coup’d etat was imminent and it would only be a matter of time before the constitution and the rules of law were to return to their rightful places.

Of course, the situation wasn’t over. The people at central Midchilda had the Cradle without its Kaiser at their disposal, and having it over that geostationary orbit gave it unparalleled power over Midchilda.

“We have not won.” Momoko spelled out, despite thinking otherwise.

“You know, no matter how powerful the Cradle is, if it remains a sitting duck, it really has no chance against us.” Arisa spelled out in a gloom fashion as she continued. “The perpetrators of this coup might have thought about using such a thing to terrorize the population. It makes them relying on that too much, and by destroying it, we will crush their hopes like bugs.”

“Arisa-chan, it wouldn’t be funny if those people got desperate and decided to take the whole population of Midchilda hostage.”

It is unlike the TSAB to ever do such a thing… yet, here lies a cornered beast.

Momoko gave a half-hearted smile. “We will have to use propaganda then. Carim-san, you have to broadcast to central Midchilda and link the death of those two… to their action, and how they used the Cradle for that end. Lindy-san, looks like we will be parading Nanoha and Fate’s corpses…”

“Momoko-san. I understand. I will do as you’ve suggested.” Carim answered as Lindy shook her head heavily.


While central Midchildan grappled with the shock of seeing the Liberation Front using such underhanded methods in driving heroes to their deaths, the unmanned Cradle’s days grew short…

The Cradle was invulnerable to anything that would strike at it from the surface of Central Midchilda, but an assault coming from all corners of space is another story.

“We’re following the examples of novels and animes.”

This was really poking dry humor on the part of Arisa.

Momoko had hauled several asteroids comprised of Ice, and they are spliced into four cubes of one cubic kilometer blocks, with mass of about a billion tones.

These prefabricated brick were then carved like pumpkins and outfitted with a mana ramjet and a containment shield each. These would accelerate at speeds normally unattainable by spaceships. They were to smash the Cradle into pieces. To further reinforce the ice blocks, they were intermixed with metal powders, debris from leftover spaceships and even sawdusts to give them a Pykrete finishing armor plating scheme.

The Cradle picked up the signatures, but it treated them only as obstacles as ice is purely made of water. The AI acted against it, however, the ship didn’t move at all due to the previous programming that dictated the ship to remain exactly at where it was. As the lasers onboard pounded the ice bricks, the containment field on the ice prevented the vapor from escaping, as the vapor turned right back to a mist of ice and proceeded along its course.

The equivalents of Arc-en-ciel technically could've nullify the threats, but its cooldown was too long to address speeding blocks of ice that were coming from all corners. When detonation occured, the Cradle wasn't even able to get one shot out.

The view of space over central Midchilda was breathtaking.

“Completely annihilated… The Cradle is… just gone…” the clerks shouted out repeated confirmations of this gorgeous rain of snow, ice and metal while members of the Liberation Front stood still like trees.

Not only is the rain falling however. One firearm after the other fell to the ground, as disillusioned mages, disgusted by utter betrayal and the fall of the aces fell to despair.

[Chaos2Frozen]

Considering Jail's insanity, it's a perfect metaphor XD


Rathe than his mental state, I say it's just his style.

Perhaps. Perhaps not. She has recovered some memories of her former incarnation so who knows? ;)

Though the black shadow views each entity equal and provides no graces regardless.

Recover memories? But even so, it might not guarantee the manifestation of fear for death.

Hmm. A bit problematic in that if you die, you won't have much of a capability to even cry about things.
I suppose that I am more in the camp of trying not to get lost at the brilliances that may bring death as an unfortunate side effect.

I don't mind angst, but I want to balance the angst with the glory of some strokes of bloody genius that seemingly makes bloodshed of thousands beautiful and minor, since that's what the angst is missing. That or acts of gross stupidity that squander away lives and is to be scorned for gross inefficiency. Having it become front and center and overemphasized isn't my cup of tea.

... I don't get it :heh:

I'm not quite sure I'm following you, but if we are talking about the death of only one, and the impact it has on many, then you don't really need this, do you?

What he says.

@Keroko:
Although this is an instance where the death of one is a byproduct from an act that has huge impact to what goes on in the 'background', which isn't the scope with the angst focus obviously.
Suppose you're right though...

whether or not if Nanoha heading into the Cradle and SLB Vivio is up to debate all of a sudden. The what-ifs can feed on itself for a long, long time...

I'm seeing two focus at the moment.

On Nanoha, for her act of freeing Vivio, without realizing the result it would have on Vivio's body. And that it's too bad, Too late, so wrong, so long... Then I'm sure there's the thousands of what ifs going through her head, one of them being if Vivio have had someone else, anyone else to be her mother instead.

On Fate, for her conflicting emotions, being following the law she has sworn to up hold, or 'save' Vivio. With Jail rubbing it every inch of her face.

Somehow, I just stop feeling excited. I think I'll listen to "Dango Daikazoku"

:nod:


EDIT:

I suppose something not NXF would come as a shock to the people here. :rolleyes:

Though really, it is Takamachi Vivio in the anime, not Takamachi Testarossa Vivio.

That still cracks me up :D

[ghazghkull]

@ghazghkull: you have written something that has made me feel rather sad. Now I must make tragedy impersonal.

Momoko really did not want to see those under her bloody their hands. This is the same be it anyone under her care…

Due to the fact that Midchilda was under martial law, it was not until July before the news of the bloody massacre reached Momoko. When Momoko heard the news about Nanoha and Fate’s death from a completely paled and whimpering Suzuka, she felt only a blank, and her heart ached as she fell to silence. During that day, she locked herself in her ready room, and did not come out at all.


By the end of July, Momoko started to reorganize the irregulars, as it headed for central Midchilda. Before the dawn of war, all save Momoko were bathed in anxiety.


Flames of war, bloodied gore; Day of peace, naught to seize.
Galaxies asunder, glory lies down under;
Unknowing to review, Unwilling to resume.

---

By August, Momoko’s ragtag fleet was at the outskirt of the Midchilda system, and she was poised to siege central Midchilda.

There existed credible political and tactical rationale for her to be there.

The Liberation Front could no longer extend its reaches now that the ‘Home fleet’ was annihilated. Collapse of the coup’d etat was imminent and it would only be a matter of time before the constitution and the rules of law were to return to their rightful places.

Of course, the situation wasn’t over. The people at central Midchilda had the Cradle without its Kaiser at their disposal, and having it over that geostationary orbit gave it unparalleled power over Midchilda.

“We have not won.” Momoko spelled out, despite thinking otherwise.

“You know, no matter how powerful the Cradle is, if it remains a sitting duck, it really has no chance against us.” Arisa spelled out in a gloom fashion as she continued. “The perpetrators of this coup might have thought about using such a thing to terrorize the population. It makes them relying on that too much, and by destroying it, we will crush their hopes like bugs.”

“Arisa-chan, it wouldn’t be funny if those people got desperate and decided to take the whole population of Midchilda hostage.”

It is unlike the TSAB to ever do such a thing… yet, here lies a cornered beast.

Momoko gave a half-hearted smile. “We will have to use propaganda then. Carim-san, you have to broadcast to central Midchilda and link the death of those two… to their action, and how they used the Cradle for that end. Lindy-san, looks like we will be parading Nanoha and Fate’s corpses…”

“Momoko-san. I understand. I will do as you’ve suggested.” Carim answered as Lindy shook her head heavily.


While central Midchildan grappled with the shock of seeing the Liberation Front using such underhanded methods in driving heroes to their deaths, the unmanned Cradle’s days grew short…

The Cradle was invulnerable to anything that would strike at it from the surface of Central Midchilda, but an assault coming from all corners of space is another story.

“We’re following the examples of novels and animes.”

This was really poking dry humor on the part of Arisa.

Momoko had hauled several asteroids comprised of Ice, and they are spliced into four cubes of one cubic kilometer blocks, with mass of about a billion tones.

These prefabricated brick were then carved like pumpkins and outfitted with a mana ramjet and a containment shield each. These would accelerate at speeds normally unattainable by spaceships. They were to smash the Cradle into pieces.

The Cradle picked up the signatures, but it treated them only as obstacles as ice is purely made of water. The AI acted against it, however, the ship didn’t move at all due to the previous programming that dictated the ship to remain exactly at where it was. As the lasers onboard pounded the ice bricks, the containment field on the ice prevented the vapor from escaping, as the vapor turned right back to a mist of ice and proceeded along its course.

The equivalents of Arc-en-ciel technically could've nullify the threats, but its cooldown was too long to address speeding blocks of ice that were coming from all corners. When detonation occured, the Cradle wasn't even able to get one shot out.

The view of space over central Midchilda was breathtaking.

“Completely annihilated… The Cradle is… just gone…” the clerks shouted out repeated confirmations of this gorgeous rain of snow, ice and metal while members of the Liberation Front stood still like trees.

Not only is the rain falling however. One firearm after the other fell to the ground, as disillusioned mages, disgusted by utter betrayal and the fall of the aces fell to despair.


Wait a tick...this is a response to the two one-shots I had posted! XD

Wow...kinda odd because Vivio died at different ages in both stories. In the first one she died at 16. In the last one, she was less than 10 when she died LOL

But oh well, w/e works XD

But still, well written. Quite descriptive, and a tad disturbing, because it was Momoko who basically came up with the counter attack against the Cradle. LOL XD

But still, that was good nonetheless.

[Satashi]

wrote on a whim for no reason. not proofed or anything. Spoilers of 6th Division, if you see them. If you miss them, no harm, no foul. :P

a glimpse into the future..........

“Hurry up!” The voice was harsh and quiet but still carried a voice of authority with it. The people who heard it all doubled their pace to unload the shipment from a warehouse into a large truck. “The distractions we planted are failing one by one, we don't have time!”

“Sir,” A new person ran up to the one in command, barely noticeable in the darkness of the night. “Group B just contacted us... They were all wiped out.”

“Damn it.” The first person looked around the dark warehouse and cursed again under his breath. “The greatest heist of all time and they go and mess it up... No matter, what we're after has to be here somewhere.” His eyes scanned the boxes that still needed to be loaded up. A group of no less than twenty were currently running everywhere as quietly as they could, grabbing objects and passing them up to people in the truck. “Screw the rest, when we're done let's get out of here. I don't want want to end up failing because of some idiot group missing their post.”

A new voice echoed loudly around them, making everyone stop in their tracks. “Abandoning your comrades? Pathetic.”

“Who's there!?” The commander yelled out as he raised his staff to a ready position. People around him grabbed magical guns from their pockets and started pointing in random directions. “Show yourself!”

“Lay down your weapons and surrender. I won't give you a second chance.” The voice was a little cocky and definitely masculine, although held a hint of childness to it, as if the owner of it was still a teenager.

“Like hell we will!”

“...You were warned.”

Silence came all at once, the only sounds being the heavy breathing of the tense people and the sounds of the night. Slow steady footsteps came as the people walked around to try and find the intruder but still silence hung thick around them. One of the men slowly walked around a corner of boxes and held out his gun charged with magical rounds. He himself had no power but his weapon could still kill with one shot and he knew it. This fact gave him the courage he needed to snarl as his continued along his way. Turning again he came face to face with two cold blue eyes in the darkness.

The others only heard a muffled scream before silence came again, making them all drip their weapons tighter. “Come out, come out, where ever you are...” The leader sang out as he scanned the area with his magic. Nothing came to his call, revealing that their opponent was either magicless or could conceal himself very well. “I'll make you a deal,” He spoke again, eyes still moving. “come out now and we'll kill you quickly instead of slowly!” The comment made some of his men snicker but another muffled cry instantly cut the mood back to seriousness. “Come out!” He barked finally.

A third man turned and had just enough time to scream fully before being silenced. Gunfire rang out heavily in the direction, shouts and screams flying thick as the battle was engaged officially. Panic swept over the people as they fell one by one by the invisible enemy. Black mist swirled around in the night, moving around with the darkness as if it was one with the very element. Another person was engulfed in the mist, screaming out loudly before falling to the ground. People charged the area but quickly screamed in terror as the mist engulfed them and their bodies suddenly attacked.

“Shed some light on it!” The commander ordered loudly. Flashlights came on everywhere, scanning the area but only catching the tail end of the black smoke before it was gone again. “I've heard about this...” His eyes lit up. “It can't be... Turn on the main lights!”

“But sir we'll be seen!”

“ DO IT!” A couple of people responded to him, running to the main breaker box by the door and slamming up the large switch. The lights overhead made a small sound as they ignited, slowly starting to illuminate as they warmed up.

A female's laugh echoed around them as the lights charged up. “You're doing to be seen, sweetheart.” It whispered into the wind, making the ones left standing look at each other confused.

“You could help you know, Princess.” The male seemed amused by the new voice. “Or are you still off duty?”

“You are too.”

“Like I could turn down some fun.”

Another giggle, the lights now starting to flicker to life now that they were charged. “Okay, okay... hmmm....” More lights started clicking on and the black mist faded out slowly, revealing the silhouette of a teenager. “How abooouuuuuuuuttttt........” The mist started fading more but only the blue eyes could be seen. “Ifrit!”

The roar of a beast rattled the walls as the last of the lights came on. The black mist was gone now and in it's place stood a demon holding a spear. Long horns came from the man's helmet and trailed out behind him before curving up slightly. Red dragon scales graced the helmet that covered glowing yellow eyes, Across his cheeks stood red quarter moons bisected in half with a curved line. Shoulders were spiked with black horns jutting out from the red dragon scale armor that also covered his chest. Long black claws came where his fingernails should be, hands covered by the same scales that the rest of his body had. Moving down to his feet, the armor took on the look of a dragon's foot with two claws on front and one single one where his heel was. Slowly the man gripped the spear in his hand and turned to look at the ones remaining. “If you want to run, I suggest you do so now.”

Pandemonium reigned. Screams of terror, cries of pain and shock, blast from guns and magic from staves all mixed together in the chaos. The man moved so fast a small blur streaked out from behind him as he almost glided along the ground thanks to the two massive dragon scale wings that jutted out from his back. Only a few blast seemed to get close enough to him to touch his armor but instead of blood escaping the areas only fire flared bled out from the marks.

His attacks were fierce and quick, knocking out people when he could and injuring them to a point where they couldn't get away whenever he needed to. Flames flew thick around him as he moved, seemingly appearing from his armor whenever a motion was made. Finally when the last of the lackeys were down he turned to the man in charge before flashing forward with no warning. His spear clashed against the leader's weapon for only an instant before cutting it in half. With a smirk he pointed the blade to the man's neck and spoke to him clearly. “You are under arrest.”

“You... Why are you here? The man who's never been seen...The Black Shadow!”

“I was in the neighborhood.” The teenager answered simply before slamming the tip against the man's chest and sending a volt of electricity into his body. The man slumped over, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Nice job!” The female voice congratulated, making the teenager look up and to the side to see a female around the same age as himself. Her pink hair was long and held up in a ponytail, matching her black and pink barrier jacket nicely. A black under suit clung to her body tightly, showing off the curves she was blessed with. On top of that a pink miniskirt came from her waist and what seemed to be a tribal looking top flared to life moving to her shoulders. A pink and black cape swayed out behind her as she jumped down to ground level and walked over to the teen. “So, Black Shadow,” She said his name with a teasing tone to it. “I think you owe me one for covering you up. Dinner would be nice.”

The male laughed lightly and shook his head. “Nice to see you too, Princess.”

A giggle. “Should we report in?”

He nodded at her and turned to his device as the armor around him flared into flames. Slowly they sank down around his body and took the form of a red dragon about the size of a large dog. “Thank you, Ifrit.” Pressing a button on his spear a monitor appeared in front of him. Nanoha Takamachi smiled at the two, making both of them salute their old instructor. “Elio reporting,” Elio smiled at the nostalgia. “Warehouse F secure. Please send a team to arrest.”

“Will do.” Nanoha grinned more when the female peeked over the man's shoulder. “Hello Caro.”

“Hey Mommy.” She gave a peace sign. “For the record, I saved his butt.”

“Did not!”

Nanoha finally laughed. “You two... Come to the coordinates on the screen, you won't believe who else is here too.” Moving the screen, the images of a twenty one year old Subaru and Tia appeared. “Lutecia was able to come as well on her vacation. Sorry to ask for your help during all this.”

“Anytime!” Subaru pumped her fist in the air. “We're all going to be together again!”

“Mm,” Nanoha nodded at them before looking down at the diamond ring on her left hand. “She'll be happy.”

Hayate placed a hand on Nanoha's shoulder and squeezed it encouragingly. “Go ahead and go back. I'll cover the technical work and meet up with you.”

“Thanks.” Nanoha reached up and grasped Hayate's hand lightly before putting on a smile and turning to her old students. “Come on then, let's meet up!”

[Demon Eyes]

Well here's another practice one-shot that I've concocted. Those who actually look, basically what I'm looking for right now is if this flows well, and if I gave enough background to backup what's been going on.

I will say right now that I am aware of what I had fate do is possibly OOC. HOWEVER, I'm wondering if the way I had Fate do what she did is believable.

How did it end up like this?

We were supposed to be the best of friends forever.

But something happened.

We both changed.

And now, as we stare down each other, we know that one of us wasn’t going to walk away from this alive. One of us was going to die. There was no way around it. Not anymore. I failed you back then Fate-chan. I let them do something horrible to you, and you never forgave me for it.

I had allowed them to infect you with something, which only they could cure. So you had willingly joined them, despite my efforts to stop you.

I guess this was just meant to be.

We met as enemies.

We shall die as enemies.


Above the burning city, two mages stared down one another as they prepared to fight.

There was no other choice to be made. As phrased by the great Optimus Prime in cartoon history, “One shall stand, one shall fall.”

Two of the greatest mages in TSAB history gazed upon one another. Steel determination echoed within their eyes.

Both were determined to defeat the other, each with one goal in mind: to free someone from repression. One was to release someone from a disease, the other to free someone from captivity. There was nothing that could stop what they would do. Both ready to pay the sacrifice, they readied their weapons as they called forth their battle forms.

“Raising Heart, Exceed Mode!”

“Bardiche, Overdrive, Sonic Form!”

“Excelion Mode”

“Sonic Drive”

In a burst of energy, both warriors surged forward as both warriors called upon their weapons again.

“Riot Blade”

“Strike Flame”

In an explosion of energy, weapons collide as shockwaves of great proportions rippled through the very air, knocking all in its wake clean off their support.

Not giving in for a moments rest, both warriors charged in again as mighty war cries erupted from their lips, as tears of anger and sadness poured from their eyes.

Forced into this combat that neither could back down from, they took solace that they could share one last thing together: an all out battle between the two of them. Everything else they had shared had no meaning anymore.

Their daughter, the only they had left to share was dead. Suffering from the very same disease one of them was suffering; her body had succumbed to the disease before either could get the antidote to her. Despite their best efforts, the girl had died with a smile on her face, glad she could’ve said goodbye.

But unfortunately, that had been the last of the falling supports that ultimately set the two on either side of the line. Nanoha stayed with the TSAB, while Fate had joined the darkness once more, with the promise of being given a cure for her ailing body.

But for all its worth, she had only been given countermeasures that would ensure her body stayed in top form. She had but one final task in order to finally be given the medicine that would allow her to live: destroy the Ace of Aces.

Raging forth, both warriors clashed in a brilliance of magic and power. Neither would back down, not when so much was on the line. They would complete their mission, even if it was the last thing they did.

“Plasma Lancer!”

“Accel Shooter!”

A mighty explosion boomed between them as their attacks collided. Diving deep into the smoke, they clashed one more as a fury of yellow and pink filled the sky, struggling from supremacy. Back and forth they clashed, as every contact and blow erupted through the air, as the pain filled attacks touched those who could do nothing but watch the two superpowers fight it out in one final clash.

They, who had been once the greatest of friends, had been reduced to bitter enemies, heartbroken by the actions of one another, who could never forgive one another. Though their love for each other stood strong, their hatred for each others crimes stood stronger still, and trumped the love.

Nanoha had done the unforgivable: allowed their Vivio to become infected by the very disease Fate had been infected with. But Fate was stronger, and was able to fight off the disease. But Vivio, being only 7 years old, her body wasn’t able to fight it off. It had cost her life.

Nanoha had to do one simple thing: do not let her barrier drop, and blow every single last one of them out of the sky. But she had failed. She had opened up a hole in her barrier to let the forwards in, but had held it open to long. One had gotten away, and managed to set off its payload.

Although it had hit an unoccupied area, Vivio had been close enough to catch the edge of the cloud that infected the air before it had been sealed off.

Fate, in her anger had committed a sin of her own: betray everything she knew and stood for in her anger and sadness. She became everything she stood against. She fought for the enemy, all in hopes that she would get the antidote to live. But to Nanoha, it made no sense. She could’ve been happier with her, even though Vivio had died.

There was no logic to why Fate left them for the enemy. To this day, she never figured it out. What would she do after she got the antidote? She had made herself into a criminal once more, and this time she wouldn’t be spared from the penalties that the TSAB would set out against her. She had wilfully turned on them. She would be punished, and forever branded a criminal, a traitor.

So what was there to gain joining the enemy; to go on living a full life in utter shame?

“Why?!” Nanoha bellowed as brought the tip of the Strike Flame upon Fate only to have it stopped by her Riot Blade. “Why are you doing this?! Answer me this time!”

“So I can bring back Vivio!” Fate yelled back, forcefully pushing Nanoha back as she charged in for an attack.

“Where my mother failed, I will succeed!”

“But that’s impossible,” Nanoha panted as she struggled to defend. Although she had learned much from Fate, she was still nowhere her level of proficiency.

“You can’t bring back the dead!”

“Her brain’s still alive!” Fate screamed. “I’ve hidden her in a special compartment underneath our bed that even you never knew of!” Nanoha’s face visibly paled at the sudden statement.

Fate didn’t know: their home had just been destroyed just 10 minutes prior. If Vivio even was alive before, she had truly died now. What was she going to tell Fate now? That her efforts were in vain? That everything that she had done until now was for naught?

“I will build her a new body,” Fate exclaimed, surprising Nanoha when she struck her with the broad side of her blade. “I will use the very technology and powers that created my body, and place her brain inside! I’ll bring her back. You’ll see! I’d gladly trade everything to see her alive again!”

“But…but how does that work?” Nanoha screamed tearfully. “How can you live knowing that you’ll probably never see her grow up? To never see her accomplishments, to see her graduate, fall in love. Can you truly believe that you’ll be happy, to never be there for her? To guide her through life? Can you live with yourself knowing you’ll never watch her life play out?!”

“It doesn’t matter as long as Vivio is alive,” Fate screamed back, as her attacks intensified to new levels. “I meant that I’d give everything, including my own life to bring her back!”

“How can you say something like that?” Nanoha shouted back, firing off several shots towards Fate. “Don’t you want to see everything she would go through if you saw this through?”

“You would take care of her,” Fate responded, as she called for Riot Zanber as her sudden barrage of two blades began to overwhelm Nanoha. “You would make her happy. I know you’d do your best to give her the best life she could have with you!”

“But she’d know it’s better with you! You said so yourself. If she was still alive, she’d know life was better with the two of us.”

“Was alive? She is still alive! She’s under our bed!”

“No she’s not,” Nanoha sobbed as they locked blades. “Our room was just destroyed…our floor, the floor below, and the floor above our room…nothing’s left. Just a hole.”

Nanoha felt her heart squeeze as Fate’s slumped.

Riot Zanber held loosely in her hands, her arms swayed gently from the weight while her hair flew about her, creating a haze around her, clouding Nanoha from her reaction.

But she didn’t have to wait long as she suddenly felt her world slow around her.

In a scream of fury, Nanoha paled as she came face to face with the ferocity of Fate’s visage. Eyes utterly dilated to the point there was nothing but red, Nanoha felt she was staring into the face of the beast. In a burst of anger, she bared her teeth, which seemed almost demonic-like when in an explosion of power, she surged forth.

Nanoha could watch in slow motion as she came to her. There was nothing she could do to defend herself. There was no way to call upon her Round Shield on time. Fate was far to fast in her Sonic Form. Raising Heart did not have that kind of reaction time to keep up.

“Fate-chan, stop!” Nanoha cried out.

“Strike Flame Expansion”

In a sudden squelch of blade piercing flesh, those who watched could only watch in horror as the act before them play out.

“Nanoha,” Fate weakly muttered. Glancing down at her chest, she saw Raising Heart Excelion Strike Flame embedded into her chest. It probably pierced her heart if anything.

“I guess, we can go see Vivio,” Nanoha weakly chuckled, not even having to look down to know Bardiche’s two blades had cut embedded themselves into her lungs. She probably only had less than a minute before her body gave out.

“Nanoha…” Fate weakly sobbed.

“Hush,” Nanoha whispered, leaning her forehead against Fate’s. “Just let your anger go. You’re forgiven.”

“So are you,” Fate weakly replied.

“I’ll see you on the other side, Fate-chan,” Nanoha weakly whispered, before capturing her lips into one final kiss.

God damn!^_^

I never knew death could be so beautiful!

Really good work!

Well worth my tear drops!

[USB500]

Okay, for those of you waiting for my JailUno II, looks like the wait is going to have be prolonged... :heh:

Because the Nightdarkness in me, had just decided to be an evil bastard due to a spark of inspiration.

“Mou, Vivio... you’ve got to learn to take care of your own body well.”

“Sorry... mama.”

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

~~~

“You don’t have to recheck, Shamal-sensei.”

“Vivio...chan...”

“I know myself well, even if you don’t.”

~~~

The same sound. The same sound again... and again... and again...

~~~

“Wait a minute, Shamal... I don’t understand. What did Vivio mean by that?”

“It means she’s no fool... She understands what’s going on with her body... Nanoha-chan... I’m deeply sorry. There’s nothing more I can do for her... Nothing short of a miracle can stop the genetic cellular decomposition that her body is now going through...”

~~~

...Revolves over and over, like an endless waltz.

Nanoha’s eyes were on the verge of tears, watching her daughter going through hell... a hell she caused. An outcome no one could’ve fathomed...

It was just fate playing it’s meager hand of irony.

The painful price... To save her freedom, for her to live her life as the daughter of the girl she loved, to possess the happiness of being Vivio Takamichi...

Her lifespan... the only thing that mattered to her as a weapon of Ancient Belka was taken away... by her very own mother.

~~~

“I’ll give her 10 days.”

~~~

The painful sounds of her cries, resonating across the white room. Her ragged breathing, her blurry vision...

And yet... she was smiling.

Estimated release time = Within the week or next. :p

One word.

EPIC!

:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

And now I shall present this thread with this (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3764300/5/). :D

*runs*

[Satashi]

Had an idea for a N/F short that involves hot chocolate, a snowy day, a warm blanket, a good book, and a nap.

Coming today :3

[panzerfan]

@Satashi: The 6th Division universe really has a life of its own. Looking forward to read that short.
@USB500: Koizumi is very polite to Kyon. He always refer to the fellow in 'you' and does not use the nickname! (I am lost reading this though. somehow, I dunno if it's even moon cheese anymore)
@Kikaifan: That was a hilarious scenario, although I share in the sentiment that Signum is not exactly that stoic anymore. Signum's little excursion should follow the path of a traditional hero tale, where the hero went on to a journey, ended up realizing that it's not what she'd expected, and then coming home having learned something about herself.
@Nightengale + ghazghkull: I was very sloppy with writing up that follow-up. The juiciness of factionalism within the ranks of TSAB, the state of affair on Central Midchilda... I could've really get dirty over that. (something such as Nanoha and Fate led to the razing of 10% of the urban area and the social structure in shambles due to interim admin. spending 20% GDP on 'defense'...) It makes for a very different feel comparing to the two outright depressing pieces that you came up with.

[Fuyu no Sora]

wrote on a whim for no reason. not proofed or anything. Spoilers of 6th Division, if you see them. If you miss them, no harm, no foul. :P

a glimpse into the future..........

“Hurry up!” The voice was harsh and quiet but still carried a voice of authority with it. The people who heard it all doubled their pace to unload the shipment from a warehouse into a large truck. “The distractions we planted are failing one by one, we don't have time!”

“Sir,” A new person ran up to the one in command, barely noticeable in the darkness of the night. “Group B just contacted us... They were all wiped out.”

“Damn it.” The first person looked around the dark warehouse and cursed again under his breath. “The greatest heist of all time and they go and mess it up... No matter, what we're after has to be here somewhere.” His eyes scanned the boxes that still needed to be loaded up. A group of no less than twenty were currently running everywhere as quietly as they could, grabbing objects and passing them up to people in the truck. “Screw the rest, when we're done let's get out of here. I don't want want to end up failing because of some idiot group missing their post.”

A new voice echoed loudly around them, making everyone stop in their tracks. “Abandoning your comrades? Pathetic.”

“Who's there!?” The commander yelled out as he raised his staff to a ready position. People around him grabbed magical guns from their pockets and started pointing in random directions. “Show yourself!”

“Lay down your weapons and surrender. I won't give you a second chance.” The voice was a little cocky and definitely masculine, although held a hint of childness to it, as if the owner of it was still a teenager.

“Like hell we will!”

“...You were warned.”

Silence came all at once, the only sounds being the heavy breathing of the tense people and the sounds of the night. Slow steady footsteps came as the people walked around to try and find the intruder but still silence hung thick around them. One of the men slowly walked around a corner of boxes and held out his gun charged with magical rounds. He himself had no power but his weapon could still kill with one shot and he knew it. This fact gave him the courage he needed to snarl as his continued along his way. Turning again he came face to face with two cold blue eyes in the darkness.

The others only heard a muffled scream before silence came again, making them all drip their weapons tighter. “Come out, come out, where ever you are...” The leader sang out as he scanned the area with his magic. Nothing came to his call, revealing that their opponent was either magicless or could conceal himself very well. “I'll make you a deal,” He spoke again, eyes still moving. “come out now and we'll kill you quickly instead of slowly!” The comment made some of his men snicker but another muffled cry instantly cut the mood back to seriousness. “Come out!” He barked finally.

A third man turned and had just enough time to scream fully before being silenced. Gunfire rang out heavily in the direction, shouts and screams flying thick as the battle was engaged officially. Panic swept over the people as they fell one by one by the invisible enemy. Black mist swirled around in the night, moving around with the darkness as if it was one with the very element. Another person was engulfed in the mist, screaming out loudly before falling to the ground. People charged the area but quickly screamed in terror as the mist engulfed them and their bodies suddenly attacked.

“Shed some light on it!” The commander ordered loudly. Flashlights came on everywhere, scanning the area but only catching the tail end of the black smoke before it was gone again. “I've heard about this...” His eyes lit up. “It can't be... Turn on the main lights!”

“But sir we'll be seen!”

“ DO IT!” A couple of people responded to him, running to the main breaker box by the door and slamming up the large switch. The lights overhead made a small sound as they ignited, slowly starting to illuminate as they warmed up.

A female's laugh echoed around them as the lights charged up. “You're doing to be seen, sweetheart.” It whispered into the wind, making the ones left standing look at each other confused.

“You could help you know, Princess.” The male seemed amused by the new voice. “Or are you still off duty?”

“You are too.”

“Like I could turn down some fun.”

Another giggle, the lights now starting to flicker to life now that they were charged. “Okay, okay... hmmm....” More lights started clicking on and the black mist faded out slowly, revealing the silhouette of a teenager. “How abooouuuuuuuuttttt........” The mist started fading more but only the blue eyes could be seen. “Ifrit!”

The roar of a beast rattled the walls as the last of the lights came on. The black mist was gone now and in it's place stood a demon holding a spear. Long horns came from the man's helmet and trailed out behind him before curving up slightly. Red dragon scales graced the helmet that covered glowing yellow eyes, Across his cheeks stood red quarter moons bisected in half with a curved line. Shoulders were spiked with black horns jutting out from the red dragon scale armor that also covered his chest. Long black claws came where his fingernails should be, hands covered by the same scales that the rest of his body had. Moving down to his feet, the armor took on the look of a dragon's foot with two claws on front and one single one where his heel was. Slowly the man gripped the spear in his hand and turned to look at the ones remaining. “If you want to run, I suggest you do so now.”

Pandemonium reigned. Screams of terror, cries of pain and shock, blast from guns and magic from staves all mixed together in the chaos. The man moved so fast a small blur streaked out from behind him as he almost glided along the ground thanks to the two massive dragon scale wings that jutted out from his back. Only a few blast seemed to get close enough to him to touch his armor but instead of blood escaping the areas only fire flared bled out from the marks.

His attacks were fierce and quick, knocking out people when he could and injuring them to a point where they couldn't get away whenever he needed to. Flames flew thick around him as he moved, seemingly appearing from his armor whenever a motion was made. Finally when the last of the lackeys were down he turned to the man in charge before flashing forward with no warning. His spear clashed against the leader's weapon for only an instant before cutting it in half. With a smirk he pointed the blade to the man's neck and spoke to him clearly. “You are under arrest.”

“You... Why are you here? The man who's never been seen...The Black Shadow!”

“I was in the neighborhood.” The teenager answered simply before slamming the tip against the man's chest and sending a volt of electricity into his body. The man slumped over, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Nice job!” The female voice congratulated, making the teenager look up and to the side to see a female around the same age as himself. Her pink hair was long and held up in a ponytail, matching her black and pink barrier jacket nicely. A black under suit clung to her body tightly, showing off the curves she was blessed with. On top of that a pink miniskirt came from her waist and what seemed to be a tribal looking top flared to life moving to her shoulders. A pink and black cape swayed out behind her as she jumped down to ground level and walked over to the teen. “So, Black Shadow,” She said his name with a teasing tone to it. “I think you owe me one for covering you up. Dinner would be nice.”

The male laughed lightly and shook his head. “Nice to see you too, Princess.”

A giggle. “Should we report in?”

He nodded at her and turned to his device as the armor around him flared into flames. Slowly they sank down around his body and took the form of a red dragon about the size of a large dog. “Thank you, Ifrit.” Pressing a button on his spear a monitor appeared in front of him. Nanoha Takamachi smiled at the two, making both of them salute their old instructor. “Elio reporting,” Elio smiled at the nostalgia. “Warehouse F secure. Please send a team to arrest.”

“Will do.” Nanoha grinned more when the female peeked over the man's shoulder. “Hello Caro.”

“Hey Mommy.” She gave a peace sign. “For the record, I saved his butt.”

“Did not!”

Nanoha finally laughed. “You two... Come to the coordinates on the screen, you won't believe who else is here too.” Moving the screen, the images of a twenty one year old Subaru and Tia appeared. “Lutecia was able to come as well on her vacation. Sorry to ask for your help during all this.”

“Anytime!” Subaru pumped her fist in the air. “We're all going to be together again!”

“Mm,” Nanoha nodded at them before looking down at the diamond ring on her left hand. “She'll be happy.”

Hayate placed a hand on Nanoha's shoulder and squeezed it encouragingly. “Go ahead and go back. I'll cover the technical work and meet up with you.”

“Thanks.” Nanoha reached up and grasped Hayate's hand lightly before putting on a smile and turning to her old students. “Come on then, let's meet up!”


It's a new great story from our well-known author Satashi-san! I love it ^^

There's just a little problem.......I wanna see the end of Redemption first >.< (:D).

Besides that, it's a really enjoyable 'glimpse' into the future :D I love Caro's playfulness :D:D

BTW: I'm looking forwards to the short about hot chocolate, snow and a warm blanket ^^ Seems adorable.

[USB500]

wrote on a whim for no reason. not proofed or anything. Spoilers of 6th Division, if you see them. If you miss them, no harm, no foul. :P

a glimpse into the future..........

“Hurry up!” The voice was harsh and quiet but still carried a voice of authority with it. The people who heard it all doubled their pace to unload the shipment from a warehouse into a large truck. “The distractions we planted are failing one by one, we don't have time!”

“Sir,” A new person ran up to the one in command, barely noticeable in the darkness of the night. “Group B just contacted us... They were all wiped out.”

“Damn it.” The first person looked around the dark warehouse and cursed again under his breath. “The greatest heist of all time and they go and mess it up... No matter, what we're after has to be here somewhere.” His eyes scanned the boxes that still needed to be loaded up. A group of no less than twenty were currently running everywhere as quietly as they could, grabbing objects and passing them up to people in the truck. “Screw the rest, when we're done let's get out of here. I don't want want to end up failing because of some idiot group missing their post.”

A new voice echoed loudly around them, making everyone stop in their tracks. “Abandoning your comrades? Pathetic.”

“Who's there!?” The commander yelled out as he raised his staff to a ready position. People around him grabbed magical guns from their pockets and started pointing in random directions. “Show yourself!”

“Lay down your weapons and surrender. I won't give you a second chance.” The voice was a little cocky and definitely masculine, although held a hint of childness to it, as if the owner of it was still a teenager.

“Like hell we will!”

“...You were warned.”

Silence came all at once, the only sounds being the heavy breathing of the tense people and the sounds of the night. Slow steady footsteps came as the people walked around to try and find the intruder but still silence hung thick around them. One of the men slowly walked around a corner of boxes and held out his gun charged with magical rounds. He himself had no power but his weapon could still kill with one shot and he knew it. This fact gave him the courage he needed to snarl as his continued along his way. Turning again he came face to face with two cold blue eyes in the darkness.

The others only heard a muffled scream before silence came again, making them all drip their weapons tighter. “Come out, come out, where ever you are...” The leader sang out as he scanned the area with his magic. Nothing came to his call, revealing that their opponent was either magicless or could conceal himself very well. “I'll make you a deal,” He spoke again, eyes still moving. “come out now and we'll kill you quickly instead of slowly!” The comment made some of his men snicker but another muffled cry instantly cut the mood back to seriousness. “Come out!” He barked finally.

A third man turned and had just enough time to scream fully before being silenced. Gunfire rang out heavily in the direction, shouts and screams flying thick as the battle was engaged officially. Panic swept over the people as they fell one by one by the invisible enemy. Black mist swirled around in the night, moving around with the darkness as if it was one with the very element. Another person was engulfed in the mist, screaming out loudly before falling to the ground. People charged the area but quickly screamed in terror as the mist engulfed them and their bodies suddenly attacked.

“Shed some light on it!” The commander ordered loudly. Flashlights came on everywhere, scanning the area but only catching the tail end of the black smoke before it was gone again. “I've heard about this...” His eyes lit up. “It can't be... Turn on the main lights!”

“But sir we'll be seen!”

“ DO IT!” A couple of people responded to him, running to the main breaker box by the door and slamming up the large switch. The lights overhead made a small sound as they ignited, slowly starting to illuminate as they warmed up.

A female's laugh echoed around them as the lights charged up. “You're doing to be seen, sweetheart.” It whispered into the wind, making the ones left standing look at each other confused.

“You could help you know, Princess.” The male seemed amused by the new voice. “Or are you still off duty?”

“You are too.”

“Like I could turn down some fun.”

Another giggle, the lights now starting to flicker to life now that they were charged. “Okay, okay... hmmm....” More lights started clicking on and the black mist faded out slowly, revealing the silhouette of a teenager. “How abooouuuuuuuuttttt........” The mist started fading more but only the blue eyes could be seen. “Ifrit!”

The roar of a beast rattled the walls as the last of the lights came on. The black mist was gone now and in it's place stood a demon holding a spear. Long horns came from the man's helmet and trailed out behind him before curving up slightly. Red dragon scales graced the helmet that covered glowing yellow eyes, Across his cheeks stood red quarter moons bisected in half with a curved line. Shoulders were spiked with black horns jutting out from the red dragon scale armor that also covered his chest. Long black claws came where his fingernails should be, hands covered by the same scales that the rest of his body had. Moving down to his feet, the armor took on the look of a dragon's foot with two claws on front and one single one where his heel was. Slowly the man gripped the spear in his hand and turned to look at the ones remaining. “If you want to run, I suggest you do so now.”

Pandemonium reigned. Screams of terror, cries of pain and shock, blast from guns and magic from staves all mixed together in the chaos. The man moved so fast a small blur streaked out from behind him as he almost glided along the ground thanks to the two massive dragon scale wings that jutted out from his back. Only a few blast seemed to get close enough to him to touch his armor but instead of blood escaping the areas only fire flared bled out from the marks.

His attacks were fierce and quick, knocking out people when he could and injuring them to a point where they couldn't get away whenever he needed to. Flames flew thick around him as he moved, seemingly appearing from his armor whenever a motion was made. Finally when the last of the lackeys were down he turned to the man in charge before flashing forward with no warning. His spear clashed against the leader's weapon for only an instant before cutting it in half. With a smirk he pointed the blade to the man's neck and spoke to him clearly. “You are under arrest.”

“You... Why are you here? The man who's never been seen...The Black Shadow!”

“I was in the neighborhood.” The teenager answered simply before slamming the tip against the man's chest and sending a volt of electricity into his body. The man slumped over, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Nice job!” The female voice congratulated, making the teenager look up and to the side to see a female around the same age as himself. Her pink hair was long and held up in a ponytail, matching her black and pink barrier jacket nicely. A black under suit clung to her body tightly, showing off the curves she was blessed with. On top of that a pink miniskirt came from her waist and what seemed to be a tribal looking top flared to life moving to her shoulders. A pink and black cape swayed out behind her as she jumped down to ground level and walked over to the teen. “So, Black Shadow,” She said his name with a teasing tone to it. “I think you owe me one for covering you up. Dinner would be nice.”

The male laughed lightly and shook his head. “Nice to see you too, Princess.”

A giggle. “Should we report in?”

He nodded at her and turned to his device as the armor around him flared into flames. Slowly they sank down around his body and took the form of a red dragon about the size of a large dog. “Thank you, Ifrit.” Pressing a button on his spear a monitor appeared in front of him. Nanoha Takamachi smiled at the two, making both of them salute their old instructor. “Elio reporting,” Elio smiled at the nostalgia. “Warehouse F secure. Please send a team to arrest.”

“Will do.” Nanoha grinned more when the female peeked over the man's shoulder. “Hello Caro.”

“Hey Mommy.” She gave a peace sign. “For the record, I saved his butt.”

“Did not!”

Nanoha finally laughed. “You two... Come to the coordinates on the screen, you won't believe who else is here too.” Moving the screen, the images of a twenty one year old Subaru and Tia appeared. “Lutecia was able to come as well on her vacation. Sorry to ask for your help during all this.”

“Anytime!” Subaru pumped her fist in the air. “We're all going to be together again!”

“Mm,” Nanoha nodded at them before looking down at the diamond ring on her left hand. “She'll be happy.”

Hayate placed a hand on Nanoha's shoulder and squeezed it encouragingly. “Go ahead and go back. I'll cover the technical work and meet up with you.”

“Thanks.” Nanoha reached up and grasped Hayate's hand lightly before putting on a smile and turning to her old students. “Come on then, let's meet up!”


I don't think I had encountered things like this before, so this is a very good and enjoying material to read.

@ panzerfan: noted the mistake. Thanks. :heh:

One thing to say here: YUUNODAS HAS RETURNETH!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[ghazghkull]

Actually, I know what I'm trying to say now. I think your Fate is too selfish. She's constantly thinking about herself, how others will see her, how Nanoha will see her, how her friends will accept her, how she's going through a hard time. If Fate is the type of person who trys to adopt children to take care of them, wouldn't she more likely to be thinking how people would view Nanoha if they were together? How it may change Nanoha's life. Because she loves Nanoha so much, wouldn't she put her first?

I HATE YOU SATASHI!!!!!! T.T

Unfortunately the whole first arc of the story was based on the running idea of Fate being selfish as you put it! Bloody heck T.T

That literally throws the entire structure into shambles, because a lot of the thought patterns of some of the characters are literally based off of my own thought patterns. I tried to write it in the other sense where Fate is trying to think more about Nanoha's sake, BUT, that is a concept that's actually way beyond me >.<

I personally cannot do that, because I for one am straight, and I've never had an issue with wanting to go out with someone who's reputation could be at stake >.<

You know how to smash my ideas into tiny little pieces.

[Satashi]

I HATE YOU SATASHI!!!!!! T.T

Unfortunately the whole first arc of the story was based on the running idea of Fate being selfish as you put it! Bloody heck T.T

That literally throws the entire structure into shambles, because a lot of the thought patterns of some of the characters are literally based off of my own thought patterns. I tried to write it in the other sense where Fate is trying to think more about Nanoha's sake, BUT, that is a concept that's actually way beyond me >.<

I personally cannot do that, because I for one am straight, and I've never had an issue with wanting to go out with someone who's reputation could be at stake >.<

You know how to smash my ideas into tiny little pieces.

Sorry T_T

But remember, that's just my opinion. Just one person. You don't need to alter anything for just one person. Write how you want to. I only offer advice on my personal beliefs but when it comes down to it, that's only my opinion and should not be taken too seriously ^^

[FlareKnight]

wrote on a whim for no reason. not proofed or anything. Spoilers of 6th Division, if you see them. If you miss them, no harm, no foul. :P

a glimpse into the future..........

“Hurry up!” The voice was harsh and quiet but still carried a voice of authority with it. The people who heard it all doubled their pace to unload the shipment from a warehouse into a large truck. “The distractions we planted are failing one by one, we don't have time!”

“Sir,” A new person ran up to the one in command, barely noticeable in the darkness of the night. “Group B just contacted us... They were all wiped out.”

“Damn it.” The first person looked around the dark warehouse and cursed again under his breath. “The greatest heist of all time and they go and mess it up... No matter, what we're after has to be here somewhere.” His eyes scanned the boxes that still needed to be loaded up. A group of no less than twenty were currently running everywhere as quietly as they could, grabbing objects and passing them up to people in the truck. “Screw the rest, when we're done let's get out of here. I don't want want to end up failing because of some idiot group missing their post.”

A new voice echoed loudly around them, making everyone stop in their tracks. “Abandoning your comrades? Pathetic.”

“Who's there!?” The commander yelled out as he raised his staff to a ready position. People around him grabbed magical guns from their pockets and started pointing in random directions. “Show yourself!”

“Lay down your weapons and surrender. I won't give you a second chance.” The voice was a little cocky and definitely masculine, although held a hint of childness to it, as if the owner of it was still a teenager.

“Like hell we will!”

“...You were warned.”

Silence came all at once, the only sounds being the heavy breathing of the tense people and the sounds of the night. Slow steady footsteps came as the people walked around to try and find the intruder but still silence hung thick around them. One of the men slowly walked around a corner of boxes and held out his gun charged with magical rounds. He himself had no power but his weapon could still kill with one shot and he knew it. This fact gave him the courage he needed to snarl as his continued along his way. Turning again he came face to face with two cold blue eyes in the darkness.

The others only heard a muffled scream before silence came again, making them all drip their weapons tighter. “Come out, come out, where ever you are...” The leader sang out as he scanned the area with his magic. Nothing came to his call, revealing that their opponent was either magicless or could conceal himself very well. “I'll make you a deal,” He spoke again, eyes still moving. “come out now and we'll kill you quickly instead of slowly!” The comment made some of his men snicker but another muffled cry instantly cut the mood back to seriousness. “Come out!” He barked finally.

A third man turned and had just enough time to scream fully before being silenced. Gunfire rang out heavily in the direction, shouts and screams flying thick as the battle was engaged officially. Panic swept over the people as they fell one by one by the invisible enemy. Black mist swirled around in the night, moving around with the darkness as if it was one with the very element. Another person was engulfed in the mist, screaming out loudly before falling to the ground. People charged the area but quickly screamed in terror as the mist engulfed them and their bodies suddenly attacked.

“Shed some light on it!” The commander ordered loudly. Flashlights came on everywhere, scanning the area but only catching the tail end of the black smoke before it was gone again. “I've heard about this...” His eyes lit up. “It can't be... Turn on the main lights!”

“But sir we'll be seen!”

“ DO IT!” A couple of people responded to him, running to the main breaker box by the door and slamming up the large switch. The lights overhead made a small sound as they ignited, slowly starting to illuminate as they warmed up.

A female's laugh echoed around them as the lights charged up. “You're doing to be seen, sweetheart.” It whispered into the wind, making the ones left standing look at each other confused.

“You could help you know, Princess.” The male seemed amused by the new voice. “Or are you still off duty?”

“You are too.”

“Like I could turn down some fun.”

Another giggle, the lights now starting to flicker to life now that they were charged. “Okay, okay... hmmm....” More lights started clicking on and the black mist faded out slowly, revealing the silhouette of a teenager. “How abooouuuuuuuuttttt........” The mist started fading more but only the blue eyes could be seen. “Ifrit!”

The roar of a beast rattled the walls as the last of the lights came on. The black mist was gone now and in it's place stood a demon holding a spear. Long horns came from the man's helmet and trailed out behind him before curving up slightly. Red dragon scales graced the helmet that covered glowing yellow eyes, Across his cheeks stood red quarter moons bisected in half with a curved line. Shoulders were spiked with black horns jutting out from the red dragon scale armor that also covered his chest. Long black claws came where his fingernails should be, hands covered by the same scales that the rest of his body had. Moving down to his feet, the armor took on the look of a dragon's foot with two claws on front and one single one where his heel was. Slowly the man gripped the spear in his hand and turned to look at the ones remaining. “If you want to run, I suggest you do so now.”

Pandemonium reigned. Screams of terror, cries of pain and shock, blast from guns and magic from staves all mixed together in the chaos. The man moved so fast a small blur streaked out from behind him as he almost glided along the ground thanks to the two massive dragon scale wings that jutted out from his back. Only a few blast seemed to get close enough to him to touch his armor but instead of blood escaping the areas only fire flared bled out from the marks.

His attacks were fierce and quick, knocking out people when he could and injuring them to a point where they couldn't get away whenever he needed to. Flames flew thick around him as he moved, seemingly appearing from his armor whenever a motion was made. Finally when the last of the lackeys were down he turned to the man in charge before flashing forward with no warning. His spear clashed against the leader's weapon for only an instant before cutting it in half. With a smirk he pointed the blade to the man's neck and spoke to him clearly. “You are under arrest.”

“You... Why are you here? The man who's never been seen...The Black Shadow!”

“I was in the neighborhood.” The teenager answered simply before slamming the tip against the man's chest and sending a volt of electricity into his body. The man slumped over, eyes rolling back into his head.

“Nice job!” The female voice congratulated, making the teenager look up and to the side to see a female around the same age as himself. Her pink hair was long and held up in a ponytail, matching her black and pink barrier jacket nicely. A black under suit clung to her body tightly, showing off the curves she was blessed with. On top of that a pink miniskirt came from her waist and what seemed to be a tribal looking top flared to life moving to her shoulders. A pink and black cape swayed out behind her as she jumped down to ground level and walked over to the teen. “So, Black Shadow,” She said his name with a teasing tone to it. “I think you owe me one for covering you up. Dinner would be nice.”

The male laughed lightly and shook his head. “Nice to see you too, Princess.”

A giggle. “Should we report in?”

He nodded at her and turned to his device as the armor around him flared into flames. Slowly they sank down around his body and took the form of a red dragon about the size of a large dog. “Thank you, Ifrit.” Pressing a button on his spear a monitor appeared in front of him. Nanoha Takamachi smiled at the two, making both of them salute their old instructor. “Elio reporting,” Elio smiled at the nostalgia. “Warehouse F secure. Please send a team to arrest.”

“Will do.” Nanoha grinned more when the female peeked over the man's shoulder. “Hello Caro.”

“Hey Mommy.” She gave a peace sign. “For the record, I saved his butt.”

“Did not!”

Nanoha finally laughed. “You two... Come to the coordinates on the screen, you won't believe who else is here too.” Moving the screen, the images of a twenty one year old Subaru and Tia appeared. “Lutecia was able to come as well on her vacation. Sorry to ask for your help during all this.”

“Anytime!” Subaru pumped her fist in the air. “We're all going to be together again!”

“Mm,” Nanoha nodded at them before looking down at the diamond ring on her left hand. “She'll be happy.”

Hayate placed a hand on Nanoha's shoulder and squeezed it encouragingly. “Go ahead and go back. I'll cover the technical work and meet up with you.”

“Thanks.” Nanoha reached up and grasped Hayate's hand lightly before putting on a smile and turning to her old students. “Come on then, let's meet up!”

The future's a beautiful thing Satashi :). Those poor guys didn't stand a chance. But guess if I had those kind of abilities that's exactly what I'd be doing for fun :).

[Satashi]

Well this is an image, but I'm putting it here 'cause it's not done yet and it's fanart of my fanfic Peaches and cream XD Slightly NSFW 'cause they're in their nightgowns :P (and no I didn't draw it <3 )

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/PeachesandCream.jpg

[Hiddenryuu]

I'm no writer...but I guess boredom can take it toll

--Characters—

Remilia Scarlet : aka. The scarlet devil. A vampire who has the ability to manipulate fate . Nicknamed the Scarlet Devil cause she is a light eater, therefore when she sucks one blood, she never fully finishes them, causing some of the blood to spill on her dress, not evil per say but very arrogant and selfish. Looks like a young girl, very childish and curious of everything, however, she’s over 500 years old, she is very powerful however, so when dealing with her, be careful not to anger her. Has a younger sister named Flandre.

Yukari Yakumo: The gap demon, ability to manipulate boundaries, the oldest and arguably the most powerful youkai in Gensenkyo. She can open gaps to anything, even peoples dream. Only person in Gensenkyo to know what an iPod is.

Sakuya Izayoi : The Perfect Maid of the Scarlet Mansion. Personal servent of Remilia. Has the power to manipulate time and space (partially). Saved and named by Remilia, extremely loyal, her knife throwing ability is almost unrivaled.

Flandre Scarlet: Sister of the devil, younger than Remilia but a lot more powerful. The ability to destroy anything. Locked in the attic of the Scarlet mansion for 400 years, extremely unstable and crazy, however, she loves her sister very much.

***

Remilia sighed, how did she get herself in this mess again? Oh yea, cause she owed that stupid gap demon a stupid favor. Now instead of being comfortable in her own mansion, with limitless maids and comfort, she was in this weird universe. Ahh well, at least food (humans) were plentiful in this world, speaking of which, she was a little hungry…

***

Mobile Division 6 :

“NANOHA!! FATE!!” Hayate yelled. God, where were they? It’s not everyday an emergency happens and yet the top aces cannot be found. Couldn’t they found a different day to be so hard to find?

“NANO…”

“What’s up?” A voice said.

Hayate spun around to see Nanoha questioning eyes looking at her. “I just came back from my morning drill to find you yelling so loud you could wake the dead. Is something wrong?”

“Oh, Nanoha, it’s terrible!” Hayate exclaimed. “It’s Vivio…”

Nanoha questioning look quickly turned into a worried one. “Wh….what happened?”

“She…was bitten…by something… on the neck.” Hayate replied.

”What do you mean by something?”

“Uhm…you’ll see, I don’t think you’ll believe it. I didn’t.” Hayate trailed off. “Do you know where Fate is? I think it’s best you both come.”

“Sure.” Nanoha said still worried sick. “I’ll fetch her and meet you both at the infirmary in 20?”

Hayate nodded, this was not gonna be fun … at all.

***

Remilia was not a happy camper. Not only did she not get a good morning’s rest… she was living up to her name really well. “The Scarlet Devil” in reference to her sloppy ‘feeding’ habits. It wasn’t her fault that she’s a light eater. It’s not her fault that when she can’t finish a humans blood causing the blood to spill on her dress. She looked at the red stains on her white blouse. Damnit, she thought, that stupid youkai didn’t even have the decency to throw some fresh clothes for her.

Lucky, she found a place that the sun couldn’t hit to hide for now, but unfortunately for her this world was so noisy that she couldn’t get any sleep at all, not that she needed much, but she tends to enjoy sleep. Later, she must find some decent change of clothes, but for now, there is nothing she could do. After all, the sun was still shinning.

***

Infirmary:

Nanoha and Fate were in shock. Not that either of them could deny the possibility, but it was there. Two small holes on the side of Vivio’s neck, around half her blood was sucked out, vampires? What a joke. Those only existed in story books, not real life. What else could explain this though?

“She’ll be fine.” Shamal reassured. “She probably suffer some symptoms of loss of blood, but otherwise, no permanent damage whatsoever.”

“Who would do something like this though?” Fate said. “It makes no sense, its not like they were trying to kill her, there are easier ways. Even if it was to send a message, punching 2 holes in the side of neck and draining half her blood is a very… unconventional way…” She trailed off.

“It’s like whoever is responsible is trying to scare us or something.” Sigium responded. “But really… it’s rather childish…”

“Fate…” Hayate started. “I’m sure you want to lead this investigation.” She paused. “It’s not the first time someone sees us as enemies.”

Fate nodded. “I’ll get down to the root of this.”

“I’m coming with you, I want to make sure whoever did this is brought to justice.” Nanoha said sternly.

Fate shook her head. “I think it’ll be better if I go alone, at least for the investigation phase. I’ll make sure I contact if I find anything though. Plus, we can’t have you drop your responsibilities before a culprit is even determined.”

Nanoha knew what Fate said made sense, after all there is no sense for 2 people to go on a wild goose chase around town, at least before some hint besides a practical joke is found.

Hayate nodded. “Fate, keep in close contact, you have permission for flight, everyone else back to your normal duties.” Everyone else nodded and gave Hayate a salute before leaving.

“Fate…” Hayate said.

“Yes, Hayate?” Fate said.

“I want you … to play it safe…” Hayate said hesitantly. “Don’t put yourself in any unnecessary risk.” (Especially so shortly after the Jail case) she added in her mind.

“I will” Fate said flashing a reassuring smile.
[


Yup, I kinda suck at writing ^^;; feel free to comment, flame , make sarcastic remarks

[ghazghkull]

Well this is an image, but I'm putting it here 'cause it's not done yet and it's fanart of my fanfic Peaches and cream XD Slightly NSFW 'cause they're in their nightgowns :P (and no I didn't draw it <3 )

That pic is way to big to put into this reply, so I won't.

But...THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE NANOHA AND FATE AT ALL!!! T.T WHAT HAPPENED THERE?!!!!!!

[Eagle8819]

I HATE YOU SATASHI!!!!!! T.T

Unfortunately the whole first arc of the story was based on the running idea of Fate being selfish as you put it! Bloody heck T.T

That literally throws the entire structure into shambles, because a lot of the thought patterns of some of the characters are literally based off of my own thought patterns. I tried to write it in the other sense where Fate is trying to think more about Nanoha's sake, BUT, that is a concept that's actually way beyond me >.<

I personally cannot do that, because I for one am straight, and I've never had an issue with wanting to go out with someone who's reputation could be at stake >.<

You know how to smash my ideas into tiny little pieces.
If you can make Fate as selfish sound believable, by all means, go ahead. Because I do believe she is selfish to some extent. We all are. It's just a matter of how she is portrayed. And I can imagine her as the rather possessive type, though she wouldn't show it and probably will try to suppress it. And to be possessive is just another title for selfish, isn't it?

It's definitely not easy though, as Fate is someone who prioritize other people first.

And this is only just a suggestion but...how about toning down the exaggeration on the reputation issue? A relationship isn't just based on someone's reputation, and I don't think Nanoha is the type of person who actually cares about that. She tackle-glomps people as it is already, so rumors of her being lesbian that may appear wouldn't be so hard to imagine. Realism, of course, would mean to talk about the reputation thingy, but that doesn't mean you have to focus on it.

Also, don't force yourself to write. The end result probably may not end up nicely if it's a forced effort. :heh:

[Hiddenryuu]

That pic is way to big to put into this reply, so I won't.

But...THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE NANOHA AND FATE AT ALL!!! T.T WHAT HAPPENED THERE?!!!!!!

I think it's cause of how rough it is, cartoon (anime) drawings rely heavy on very detailed things to be able to tell characters apart... anime it's hair and clothing most of the time... american cartoons it's usually color/theme.

So one of the hardest part is to catch the essence of what the character, if that's not caught...it can be very difficult to tell what character is drawn, which btw doesn't make things not well drawn , just it's a little thing that makes fan art paticularly difficult

[panzerfan]

@ ghazghkull: Someone has told me something that I think anyone even dare to be called an artist to take to heart:

If a person calls your work a piece of crap, you accept that as it is, and not take it personally. Don't let criticism on your work affect you on a personal level. A scathing criticism can hurt, but that is what one individual's point of view is on your work. If anything, feedbacks are to be treasured.

@Satashi: That fanart deserves a nice inking job. I wish I could actually sketch that, much less draw like that.

@Hiddenryuu: You got me hooked. I overlooked how nice it is to have that brief introduction for the crossover characters in case if the audience aren't familiar with them. The piece feels lighthearted from the onset.

[Hiddenryuu]

Thanks, as I said I'm not much of a writer...but hey...

I actually have another like 5 ,6 pages written but I didn't think people will like me to post the whole darn thing in one go.

[Timeless Enigma]

Right now I have a story concept on the backburner simply titled "The Bureau." I'm trying to introduce an OC (Setsuya Amemiya in the Character Creation thread) but not have the OC as the main focus.

I kind of want to do an anti-Mobile Division 6 plot/Bureau Conspiracy with Teana Lanster and Fate Testarossa in prominent roles. From what I've read about StrikerS (I never finished watching it) there is somewhat of an anti-Navy and anti-Hayate & friends sentiment with at least a couple of TSAB members. I want to explore that.

[ghazghkull]

Right now I have a story concept on the backburner simply titled "The Bureau." I'm trying to introduce an OC (Setsuya Amemiya in the Character Creation thread) but not have the OC as the main focus.

I kind of want to do an anti-Mobile Division 6 plot/Bureau Conspiracy with Teana Lanster and Fate Testarossa in prominent roles. From what I've read about StrikerS (I never finished watching it) there is somewhat of an anti-Navy and anti-Hayate & friends sentiment with at least a couple of TSAB members. I want to explore that.


Go right ahead of you want. It's your idea. We're here to simply critique it and give you our comments and such.

[panzerfan]

Right now I have a story concept on the backburner simply titled "The Bureau." I'm trying to introduce an OC (Setsuya Amemiya in the Character Creation thread) but not have the OC as the main focus.

I kind of want to do an anti-Mobile Division 6 plot/Bureau Conspiracy with Teana Lanster and Fate Testarossa in prominent roles. From what I've read about StrikerS (I never finished watching it) there is somewhat of an anti-Navy and anti-Hayate & friends sentiment with at least a couple of TSAB members. I want to explore that.


Mind if I bounce idea off you? I need to somehow think of a plausible way to describe how TSAB can have an internal coup'd etat.

[Satashi]

@Timeless Enigma:Good luck on that, we'll offer advice when you post :3

About fanart: Don't be so hard :P It's cool to have someone draw something of your fic. Even if it isn't the best, it's the thought behind it. And it'll be inked soon I'm told! :D :D

[krisslanza]

I think I have a fanfiction idea.. Something different and unexpected... ^_^
It's a secret but I'm just teasing you about it ;o

Unlike every other fic I've written though it's not gonna involve any romance, nope. Just... Plot. Battles. War. Death. *Insert ominous music here*

[Satashi]

I think I have a fanfiction idea.. Something different and unexpected... ^_^
It's a secret but I'm just teasing you about it ;o

Unlike every other fic I've written though it's not gonna involve any romance, nope. Just... Plot. Battles. War. Death. *Insert ominous music here*

There are fics that don't involve romance? LIES!

I have an idea for a short as well. I'll try and get both the one I mentioned earlier and this one done today if possible. Also still working on the Hayate/Yuuno fic as the main focus on 'real' works.

This short involves a boat, jet skiis, bikinis, a grill and hamburgers, and a day off of work. Primary focus: FUN!

[ghazghkull]

I think I have a fanfiction idea.. Something different and unexpected... ^_^
It's a secret but I'm just teasing you about it ;o

Unlike every other fic I've written though it's not gonna involve any romance, nope. Just... Plot. Battles. War. Death. *Insert ominous music here*

There are fics that don't involve romance? LIES!

I have an idea for a short as well. I'll try and get both the one I mentioned earlier and this one done today if possible. Also still working on the Hayate/Yuuno fic as the main focus on 'real' works.

This short involves a boat, jet skiis, bikinis, a grill and hamburgers, and a day off of work. Primary focus: FUN!

LOL yes there are fics out there that don't involve romance, in the strictest sense.

Every story out there though will involve tiny tidbits of romance, but it's always never enough to actually be constituted as romance LOL XD

[krisslanza]

I'd obviously make it NxF if I wanted but... I'm making it be neutral for... More undisclosed reasons ^_^

Sounds like a fun short Satashi-sama :D

[Timeless Enigma]

Mind if I bounce idea off you? I need to somehow think of a plausible way to describe how TSAB can have an internal coup'd etat.

Sure, I don't mind. I'm not currently in the creative mindset right now though, and I'm at a bit of a disadvantage since I never finished StrikerS.

I'll post a short piece (the beginning of a scrapped intro to The Bureau) sometime soon.

[Hiddenryuu]

More of my untitled fic


Fate was frustrated, she checked out the area where the attack happened, but there were no clues, except a very slight trail of blood droplets confirming where Vivio was attacked. The trail seemed to lead… to nowhere. That just doesn’t make sense, if it was a message, why would someone not leave anything to identify.

The sun has already set, and Fate still had little or nowhere to go on…

Suddenly, several red screens popped up with the word “ALERT” on it, blaring in front of Fate. “Yes?” She asked.

“There is an incident happening in the clothing shop around you, Fate!” Hayate’s voice said. “Could you check it out for me, I’m sending some back up to take care of the panic.”

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Fate replied. “Bardiche, lets go.”

“Yes , sir.”

***
Remilia pulled the dress from the weird device that was holding it quickly and changed out of her blood soaked dress. People were panicking around her everywhere, probably cause she didn’t have any money of this world.

“Freeze, you’re under arrest.” A voice said. Remilia turned around and looked, a larger women, with blonde hair wearing the oddest clothing she had seen stood in front of her, holding a scythe.

Fate looked at the thief, she was surprised to see a girl, looking no older than Vivio who was wearing one of the store’s dresses. There was 2 things immediately that didn’t fit the picture. One, is why anyone would rob a wedding dress store to steal something, this girl looked like she was ready to be a flower girl attending an “emergency” wedding. Two, this girl had 2 wings that sprouted behind her back.

Under arrest? What does that supposed to mean. Remilia thought to herself. She had no idea what this girl was trying to say. It didn’t matter, Remilia was confident in her abilities, this girl could never catch her, she didn’t need to kill her. She smiled slightly inside, maybe she could go for a light snack…

Fate sighed, it didn’t seem like this girl understood her, it looks like she’s going to have to knock her out. “I’m sorry.” She announced to the girl as lighting spears materialized in the air.

Remilia smiled, so a danmaku battle already huh. Good, she was getting a little bored, maybe this woman will keep her occupied until she found what that gap demon was talking about.

“Fire!” Fate said directing the lighting spears at the girl. The girl with inhuman like speed dodged between the projectiles, heading straight at her. Fate stood ready holding her weapon to prepare for an oncoming melee attack…

It never came, the girl suddenly swooped above her, summoning red orbs of lights. “Servant flier” she declared as the red became small red arrow heading straight for her prey.

“Sonic Move!” Bardiche confirmed when Fate used her signature move to get in back of the girl. She slashed her scythe down trying to catch the intruder.

The blow never hit, before it can, the girl suddenly disappeared into a horde of bats, which flew past her and reformed into the girl. “…You are pretty interesting…” The girl suddenly said. “…for a human.”

So, she can talk. Fate thought to herself, and what does she mean for a human… “You’re not?” She asked.

Remilia looked weirdly at the girl, haven’t she heard of youkai before? Wait, that’s right, she was in a different world now, thanks to that… ugh. “No, I’m not, to put it simply, I’m a descendent of Vlad Tepes or Dracula.”

Fate gasped. “…No way… vampires… aren’t real…”

“Yet I still stand before you, what’s your name human?” She said.

“Sophie” Fate replied. “Sophie Belmont.” She lied, remembering this game Vivio was playing… what was it called? Oh yea Castlevania. “What is yours?”

“Fufufufu…” the vampire chuckled. “You are indeed interesting.” With that she moved so fast that Fate couldn’t follow, reappearing at Fate side. “I see, you are a being of fate, and guided by it too… I really like you… Fate…”

“What are you talking about?!” Fate said. “You aren’t making any sense!”

“Wait…” Fate exclaimed quickly backing away from her in realization. “Did you attack a young girl last night?”

“Hmm… I don’t remember…” Remilia replied. “Do you remember what kind of bread you ate?”

“You…” Fate growled.

“Zamber form.” Bariche announced changing into a sword.

“This is fun!” Remilia laughed. “Too bad Sakuya isn’t here to enjoy this. How would you like to work for me?”

“I would rather die!” Fate retorted charging her swinging her sword.

Remilia jumped to dodge the oncoming blow. “Heaven’s punishment…” she chanted “Star of David…” Big orbs of energy gathered everywhere around Fate. “If I were you I would give up now…” She said. “I don’t like to over damage my prey.”

Fate looked at the orbs, she was surrounded by them, but it doesn’t mean there was any way out… there’s got to be a weak point to this, “There is no one in battle that is truly invincible.” Was the saying that came to mind. She quickly jumped out of the way as the orbs shoot energy beams all over the place, she rolled out of the way as the orbs shot small orbs landing all over the place.

“Great…” Fate muttered. “Who’s going to pay for all these damages?” she said to no one in particular.

“You are surprisingly good at dodging” Remilia said happily. “Now I really want you to be my maid.”

“Shut up!” Fate retorted, dodging another projectiles and charging toward her.

“Critical , Heartbreak” the girl grabbed a scarlet red spear out of nowhere and threw it at Fate.

Crap, Fate thought, I can’t dodge this not at this speed or distance.

“Wide area protection.” A different voice said. A pink shield protected Fate as the spear hit it straight into it causing a big explosion.

“Nanoha…?” Fate asked weakly.

“I was wondering what’s taking you so long, Fate.” Nanoha said. “Who’s this?” She asked.

“She’s the one who attacked Vivio…” Fate said bitterly. “Careful, she’s so strong it’s almost unreal.”

Nanoha glared at the girl. “Okay , first mistake…” She charged a divine buster. “You messed with my daughter” She shot her buster. “Second mistake , you messed with my best friend.” Another buster, “You mess with them, you mess with me!”

After the smoke cleared amazingly, the girl seemed unharmed. “… I didn’t expect someone with the capability of Master Spark to be here...” She frowned , last time she had to face down 2 enemies of this caliber didn’t turn out so well for her, plus she still had a mission, that stupid demon won’t fetch her until the mission was completed.

Unfortunately for her, the two women in question weren’t about to give up. The one in blue and white started to barrage her with projectiles everywhere, the one called Fate was trying her hardest to get in her range. Personally, she preferred hand to hand over range battles, but fighting two people is a lot different from one.

The exchange went on for a while, finally Remilia managed to grab Fate out of the air, she lifted her up…

“Scarlet sign… Red, the nightless castle…”

A big explosion of red energy weaved around her in the form of a cross ironically…pushing everything back.

[-MotokoAoyama-]

I think I have a fanfiction idea.. Something different and unexpected... ^_^
It's a secret but I'm just teasing you about it ;o

Unlike every other fic I've written though it's not gonna involve any romance, nope. Just... Plot. Battles. War. Death. *Insert ominous music here*
Can't wait for that. I've been looking through the MSLN section on ffn and almost all the fics are romanced based. It'd be nice to see something different (not that I didn't enjoy Satashi's work, haha. I'm still on the "first book" though)

[Satashi]

Can't wait for that. I've been looking through the MSLN section on ffn and almost all the fics are romanced based. It'd be nice to see something different (not that I didn't enjoy Satashi's work, haha. I'm still on the "first book" though)

Satashi is a loser don't read his/her stuff XP

[Timeless Enigma]

Alright, here's a scrapped concept of The Bureau. It's scrapped because... when I first wrote that the direction of the story was going somewhere else.

Comments/flames/praises are welcome.

[Satashi]

*looks around*

*dust off table*

*puts some paper on it* Found this.

I awoke slowly as the sunlight from the window finally reached my side of the bed. For some reason there was this spot on my pillow that always had the morning light hit it to wake me up. Amazingly no matter where I was on the bed I always seemed to be right there when the time came to awake me. It was for this reason that I rather liked the sun; it was a reliable alarm clock. Vivio moved against me lightly as she clutched at my shirt. With a smile I moved her hand from myself and crawled over her carefully so I could reach Fate. After double checking to make sure the little one was still asleep I went about waking up my friend. "Fate-chan," I smiled when she stirred lightly. "Fate-chaaaaaan." Moving to straddle her waist I started rubbing her shoulders. "Faaaaaaate-chan?" Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at me only half focused. "Happy birthday, Fate-chan." Leaning over I pecked he forehead. After doing such I slid onto her body and made myself comfortable, snuggling. "I'm going to make you breakfast but I'm still a little lazy." In response she draped one arm over the small of my back and shifted to get more comfortable. I loved it when she was sleepy, she was always so snuggly.

Sapphire Birthday
By:
Satashi

Nanoha allowed herself to enjoy the rare moment of being cuddled for almost five minutes before reluctantly re-straddling Fate's waist and sitting up on her lap. With a face-splitting yawn she stretched out and looked down at her friend again. The blond seemed to be slightly more awake now and was gazing up at her happily. “Happy birthday again,” She spoke down at her softly. In return the red eyed girl smiled up to her and offered her hands, which were taken. “I love your hands.”

“I know,” Fate finally spoke back as she played with Nanoha's fingers. The gesture was common now, having been seeded since they were only twelve years old. Nanoha had said the words countless times now while holding hands. Always the same, simple words. Once done, she would always reply in kind: “Thank you.” The two touched their fingertips together and idly flirted without saying anything else for a moment.

“Mama...” Vivio broke the silence then, reaching out to try and find one of her guardians. “... Mama...”

“Here,” Nanoha scooped her up and laid her next to her friend's body. “Have a Vivio.”

“Why thank you.” She accepted the gift and soon found herself cuddled. “I'll keep this gift forever and ever.”

“Or at least until she starts throwing a temper tantrum at which point you'll tell her to go to Nanoha-mama?”

“You nailed it.” Fate gave her a gentle gaze.

“I'm going to make us breakfast. I told your work space you would be late coming to work this morning already so take your time okay? You can even sleep another half-hour or so if you would like to.”

Fate shook her head. “I'll be down shortly. Thanks for the extra time.” The two met each other's eyes briefly before Nanoha leaned over to give both Vivio and herself a kiss to the temple. When done the pony tailed one waved lightly before going downstairs. 'How odd,' Fate mused to herself. 'Nanoha has always given me a present the very moment I woke up...Even when we were living in separate houses she would sneak to my room to be sure she was the absolute first to wish me a happy birthday.' With a curious hum she let the fact slide by and proceeded to wake up the child currently clinging to her. “Vivio. Vivio? Time to wake up sweetheart.” When she met the multi colored eyes of her sleepy 'child' she couldn't help but touch her nose. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Vivio rubbed her eyes with both hands before letting out a loud yawn. “Happy birthday.”

“You knew it was my birthday?”

“Nanoha-mama told me to be sure and say it as soon as I woke up,” She replied honestly. “What's a 'birthday?'”

Fate helped Vivio out of the bed and proceeded to go about dressing her. “Well, it's a very special day. Normally people celebrate the day you were born by giving presents and eating lots of cake and ice cream.”

“You were born today?”

“I'm special,” Fate pet her head before going to her closet and picking up one of her uniforms. “Fate-mama doesn't know what day she was born on so Nanoha-mama gave me a birthday.”

“That's today?”

“Mm.” Fate started to button her undershirt. “Ten years ago, on that day when we were on the bridge, I made my first friend. That is my birthday.” Leaning over, Fate made sure Vivio's shirt was on properly. “Come now, let's go see if Nanoha-mama has caught anything on fire in the kitchen.”

Nanoha's voice floated up from downstairs with a loud “I can hear you!” and a pout once they were in visible range. “I prepared extra hard for you. I've been cooking Yuuno breakfast for the past week so I would be sure I did it properly.” She broke a few more eggs into a skillet and swirled the pan around. “Almost done, everything is ready but the eggs and biscuits.”

“Western style breakfast?” Fate looked impressed. “Biscuits too? Wow.”

“They're frozen,” Nanoha admitted to her while sticking out her tongue. “I tried really hard but not even Yuuno would eat them anymore after the third day...” Ignoring the amused look she continued to finish the eggs. “You like them a little runny, right? We should probably make sure Vivio's is fully cooked just in case though.”

“Nanoha-mama sure thinks about the right things,” Fate cooed at her, leaning over so she was looking over her shoulder. “Hm? Nanoha you went stiff all of a sudden.”

“N-nothing.” The breath from her friend's mouth tickled her neck lightly. “Will you get plates down please Fate-chan?” When the warm breath was gone she instantly felt a shiver go down her spine. “Vivio, help her set the table would you?” Her daughter replied happily and trotted over to the blond, holding her hands up to reach for one of the dishes.

Will be picked up again shortly

[KeithKurogane]

More of my untitled fic


Fate was frustrated, she checked out the area where the attack happened, but there were no clues, except a very slight trail of blood droplets confirming where Vivio was attacked. The trail seemed to lead… to nowhere. That just doesn’t make sense, if it was a message, why would someone not leave anything to identify.

The sun has already set, and Fate still had little or nowhere to go on…

Suddenly, several red screens popped up with the word “ALERT” on it, blaring in front of Fate. “Yes?” She asked.

“There is an incident happening in the clothing shop around you, Fate!” Hayate’s voice said. “Could you check it out for me, I’m sending some back up to take care of the panic.”

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Fate replied. “Bardiche, lets go.”

“Yes , sir.”

***
Remilia pulled the dress from the weird device that was holding it quickly and changed out of her blood soaked dress. People were panicking around her everywhere, probably cause she didn’t have any money of this world.

“Freeze, you’re under arrest.” A voice said. Remilia turned around and looked, a larger women, with blonde hair wearing the oddest clothing she had seen stood in front of her, holding a scythe.

Fate looked at the thief, she was surprised to see a girl, looking no older than Vivio who was wearing one of the store’s dresses. There was 2 things immediately that didn’t fit the picture. One, is why anyone would rob a wedding dress store to steal something, this girl looked like she was ready to be a flower girl attending an “emergency” wedding. Two, this girl had 2 wings that sprouted behind her back.

Under arrest? What does that supposed to mean. Remilia thought to herself. She had no idea what this girl was trying to say. It didn’t matter, Remilia was confident in her abilities, this girl could never catch her, she didn’t need to kill her. She smiled slightly inside, maybe she could go for a light snack…

Fate sighed, it didn’t seem like this girl understood her, it looks like she’s going to have to knock her out. “I’m sorry.” She announced to the girl as lighting spears materialized in the air.

Remilia smiled, so a danmaku battle already huh. Good, she was getting a little bored, maybe this woman will keep her occupied until she found what that gap demon was talking about.

“Fire!” Fate said directing the lighting spears at the girl. The girl with inhuman like speed dodged between the projectiles, heading straight at her. Fate stood ready holding her weapon to prepare for an oncoming melee attack…

It never came, the girl suddenly swooped above her, summoning red orbs of lights. “Servant flier” she declared as the red became small red arrow heading straight for her prey.

“Sonic Move!” Bardiche confirmed when Fate used her signature move to get in back of the girl. She slashed her scythe down trying to catch the intruder.

The blow never hit, before it can, the girl suddenly disappeared into a horde of bats, which flew past her and reformed into the girl. “…You are pretty interesting…” The girl suddenly said. “…for a human.”

So, she can talk. Fate thought to herself, and what does she mean for a human… “You’re not?” She asked.

Remilia looked weirdly at the girl, haven’t she heard of youkai before? Wait, that’s right, she was in a different world now, thanks to that… ugh. “No, I’m not, to put it simply, I’m a descendent of Vlad Tepes or Dracula.”

Fate gasped. “…No way… vampires… aren’t real…”

“Yet I still stand before you, what’s your name human?” She said.

“Sophie” Fate replied. “Sophie Belmont.” She lied, remembering this game Vivio was playing… what was it called? Oh yea Castlevania. “What is yours?”

“Fufufufu…” the vampire chuckled. “You are indeed interesting.” With that she moved so fast that Fate couldn’t follow, reappearing at Fate side. “I see, you are a being of fate, and guided by it too… I really like you… Fate…”

“What are you talking about?!” Fate said. “You aren’t making any sense!”

“Wait…” Fate exclaimed quickly backing away from her in realization. “Did you attack a young girl last night?”

“Hmm… I don’t remember…” Remilia replied. “Do you remember what kind of bread you ate?”

“You…” Fate growled.

“Zamber form.” Bariche announced changing into a sword.

“This is fun!” Remilia laughed. “Too bad Sakuya isn’t here to enjoy this. How would you like to work for me?”

“I would rather die!” Fate retorted charging her swinging her sword.

Remilia jumped to dodge the oncoming blow. “Heaven’s punishment…” she chanted “Star of David…” Big orbs of energy gathered everywhere around Fate. “If I were you I would give up now…” She said. “I don’t like to over damage my prey.”

Fate looked at the orbs, she was surrounded by them, but it doesn’t mean there was any way out… there’s got to be a weak point to this, “There is no one in battle that is truly invincible.” Was the saying that came to mind. She quickly jumped out of the way as the orbs shoot energy beams all over the place, she rolled out of the way as the orbs shot small orbs landing all over the place.

“Great…” Fate muttered. “Who’s going to pay for all these damages?” she said to no one in particular.

“You are surprisingly good at dodging” Remilia said happily. “Now I really want you to be my maid.”

“Shut up!” Fate retorted, dodging another projectiles and charging toward her.

“Critical , Heartbreak” the girl grabbed a scarlet red spear out of nowhere and threw it at Fate.

Crap, Fate thought, I can’t dodge this not at this speed or distance.

“Wide area protection.” A different voice said. A pink shield protected Fate as the spear hit it straight into it causing a big explosion.

“Nanoha…?” Fate asked weakly.

“I was wondering what’s taking you so long, Fate.” Nanoha said. “Who’s this?” She asked.

“She’s the one who attacked Vivio…” Fate said bitterly. “Careful, she’s so strong it’s almost unreal.”

Nanoha glared at the girl. “Okay , first mistake…” She charged a divine buster. “You messed with my daughter” She shot her buster. “Second mistake , you messed with my best friend.” Another buster, “You mess with them, you mess with me!”

After the smoke cleared amazingly, the girl seemed unharmed. “… I didn’t expect someone with the capability of Master Spark to be here...” She frowned , last time she had to face down 2 enemies of this caliber didn’t turn out so well for her, plus she still had a mission, that stupid demon won’t fetch her until the mission was completed.

Unfortunately for her, the two women in question weren’t about to give up. The one in blue and white started to barrage her with projectiles everywhere, the one called Fate was trying her hardest to get in her range. Personally, she preferred hand to hand over range battles, but fighting two people is a lot different from one.

The exchange went on for a while, finally Remilia managed to grab Fate out of the air, she lifted her up…

“Scarlet sign… Red, the nightless castle…”

A big explosion of red energy weaved around her in the form of a cross ironically…pushing everything back.



woot?! Please continue! I wanna also see Aya there

[ghazghkull]

*looks around*

*dust off table*

*puts some paper on it* Found this.

I awoke slowly as the sunlight from the window finally reached my side of the bed. For some reason there was this spot on my pillow that always had the morning light hit it to wake me up. Amazingly no matter where I was on the bed I always seemed to be right there when the time came to awake me. It was for this reason that I rather liked the sun; it was a reliable alarm clock. Vivio moved against me lightly as she clutched at my shirt. With a smile I moved her hand from myself and crawled over her carefully so I could reach Fate. After double checking to make sure the little one was still asleep I went about waking up my friend. "Fate-chan," I smiled when she stirred lightly. "Fate-chaaaaaan." Moving to straddle her waist I started rubbing her shoulders. "Faaaaaaate-chan?" Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at me only half focused. "Happy birthday, Fate-chan." Leaning over I pecked he forehead. After doing such I slid onto her body and made myself comfortable, snuggling. "I'm going to make you breakfast but I'm still a little lazy." In response she draped one arm over the small of my back and shifted to get more comfortable. I loved it when she was sleepy, she was always so snuggly.

Sapphire Birthday
By:
Satashi

Nanoha allowed herself to enjoy the rare moment of being cuddled for almost five minutes before reluctantly re-straddling Fate's waist and sitting up on her lap. With a face-splitting yawn she stretched out and looked down at her friend again. The blond seemed to be slightly more awake now and was gazing up at her happily. “Happy birthday again,” She spoke down at her softly. In return the red eyed girl smiled up to her and offered her hands, which were taken. “I love your hands.”

“I know,” Fate finally spoke back as she played with Nanoha's fingers. The gesture was common now, having been seeded since they were only twelve years old. Nanoha had said the words countless times now while holding hands. Always the same, simple words. Once done, she would always reply in kind: “Thank you.” The two touched their fingertips together and idly flirted without saying anything else for a moment.

“Mama...” Vivio broke the silence then, reaching out to try and find one of her guardians. “... Mama...”

“Here,” Nanoha scooped her up and laid her next to her friend's body. “Have a Vivio.”

“Why thank you.” She accepted the gift and soon found herself cuddled. “I'll keep this gift forever and ever.”

“Or at least until she starts throwing a temper tantrum at which point you'll tell her to go to Nanoha-mama?”

“You nailed it.” Fate gave her a gentle gaze.

“I'm going to make us breakfast. I told your work space you would be late coming to work this morning already so take your time okay? You can even sleep another half-hour or so if you would like to.”

Fate shook her head. “I'll be down shortly. Thanks for the extra time.” The two met each other's eyes briefly before Nanoha leaned over to give both Vivio and herself a kiss to the temple. When done the pony tailed one waved lightly before going downstairs. 'How odd,' Fate mused to herself. 'Nanoha has always given me a present the very moment I woke up...Even when we were living in separate houses she would sneak to my room to be sure she was the absolute first to wish me a happy birthday.' With a curious hum she let the fact slide by and proceeded to wake up the child currently clinging to her. “Vivio. Vivio? Time to wake up sweetheart.” When she met the multi colored eyes of her sleepy 'child' she couldn't help but touch her nose. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Vivio rubbed her eyes with both hands before letting out a loud yawn. “Happy birthday.”

“You knew it was my birthday?”

“Nanoha-mama told me to be sure and say it as soon as I woke up,” She replied honestly. “What's a 'birthday?'”

Fate helped Vivio out of the bed and proceeded to go about dressing her. “Well, it's a very special day. Normally people celebrate the day you were born by giving presents and eating lots of cake and ice cream.”

“You were born today?”

“I'm special,” Fate pet her head before going to her closet and picking up one of her uniforms. “Fate-mama doesn't know what day she was born on so Nanoha-mama gave me a birthday.”

“That's today?”

“Mm.” Fate started to button her undershirt. “Ten years ago, on that day when we were on the bridge, I made my first friend. That is my birthday.” Leaning over, Fate made sure Vivio's shirt was on properly. “Come now, let's go see if Nanoha-mama has caught anything on fire in the kitchen.”

Nanoha's voice floated up from downstairs with a loud “I can hear you!” and a pout once they were in visible range. “I prepared extra hard for you. I've been cooking Yuuno breakfast for the past week so I would be sure I did it properly.” She broke a few more eggs into a skillet and swirled the pan around. “Almost done, everything is ready but the eggs and biscuits.”

“Western style breakfast?” Fate looked impressed. “Biscuits too? Wow.”

“They're frozen,” Nanoha admitted to her while sticking out her tongue. “I tried really hard but not even Yuuno would eat them anymore after the third day...” Ignoring the amused look she continued to finish the eggs. “You like them a little runny, right? We should probably make sure Vivio's is fully cooked just in case though.”

“Nanoha-mama sure thinks about the right things,” Fate cooed at her, leaning over so she was looking over her shoulder. “Hm? Nanoha you went stiff all of a sudden.”

“N-nothing.” The breath from her friend's mouth tickled her neck lightly. “Will you get plates down please Fate-chan?” When the warm breath was gone she instantly felt a shiver go down her spine. “Vivio, help her set the table would you?” Her daughter replied happily and trotted over to the blond, holding her hands up to reach for one of the dishes.

Will be picked up again shortly

*twitches...BADLY*

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO ONLY BE A PREVIEW!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FULL THING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! >.<

[wtffmp111]

*twitches...BADLY*

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO ONLY BE A PREVIEW!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FULL THING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! >.<

ya, obligatory ppms.

[lil-d01]

[pops out of nowhere]

Satashi sure knows how to tease.

[BPHaru]

*looks around*

*dust off table*

*puts some paper on it* Found this.

I awoke slowly as the sunlight from the window finally reached my side of the bed. For some reason there was this spot on my pillow that always had the morning light hit it to wake me up. Amazingly no matter where I was on the bed I always seemed to be right there when the time came to awake me. It was for this reason that I rather liked the sun; it was a reliable alarm clock. Vivio moved against me lightly as she clutched at my shirt. With a smile I moved her hand from myself and crawled over her carefully so I could reach Fate. After double checking to make sure the little one was still asleep I went about waking up my friend. "Fate-chan," I smiled when she stirred lightly. "Fate-chaaaaaan." Moving to straddle her waist I started rubbing her shoulders. "Faaaaaaate-chan?" Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at me only half focused. "Happy birthday, Fate-chan." Leaning over I pecked he forehead. After doing such I slid onto her body and made myself comfortable, snuggling. "I'm going to make you breakfast but I'm still a little lazy." In response she draped one arm over the small of my back and shifted to get more comfortable. I loved it when she was sleepy, she was always so snuggly.

Sapphire Birthday
By:
Satashi

Nanoha allowed herself to enjoy the rare moment of being cuddled for almost five minutes before reluctantly re-straddling Fate's waist and sitting up on her lap. With a face-splitting yawn she stretched out and looked down at her friend again. The blond seemed to be slightly more awake now and was gazing up at her happily. “Happy birthday again,” She spoke down at her softly. In return the red eyed girl smiled up to her and offered her hands, which were taken. “I love your hands.”

“I know,” Fate finally spoke back as she played with Nanoha's fingers. The gesture was common now, having been seeded since they were only twelve years old. Nanoha had said the words countless times now while holding hands. Always the same, simple words. Once done, she would always reply in kind: “Thank you.” The two touched their fingertips together and idly flirted without saying anything else for a moment.

“Mama...” Vivio broke the silence then, reaching out to try and find one of her guardians. “... Mama...”

“Here,” Nanoha scooped her up and laid her next to her friend's body. “Have a Vivio.”

“Why thank you.” She accepted the gift and soon found herself cuddled. “I'll keep this gift forever and ever.”

“Or at least until she starts throwing a temper tantrum at which point you'll tell her to go to Nanoha-mama?”

“You nailed it.” Fate gave her a gentle gaze.

“I'm going to make us breakfast. I told your work space you would be late coming to work this morning already so take your time okay? You can even sleep another half-hour or so if you would like to.”

Fate shook her head. “I'll be down shortly. Thanks for the extra time.” The two met each other's eyes briefly before Nanoha leaned over to give both Vivio and herself a kiss to the temple. When done the pony tailed one waved lightly before going downstairs. 'How odd,' Fate mused to herself. 'Nanoha has always given me a present the very moment I woke up...Even when we were living in separate houses she would sneak to my room to be sure she was the absolute first to wish me a happy birthday.' With a curious hum she let the fact slide by and proceeded to wake up the child currently clinging to her. “Vivio. Vivio? Time to wake up sweetheart.” When she met the multi colored eyes of her sleepy 'child' she couldn't help but touch her nose. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Vivio rubbed her eyes with both hands before letting out a loud yawn. “Happy birthday.”

“You knew it was my birthday?”

“Nanoha-mama told me to be sure and say it as soon as I woke up,” She replied honestly. “What's a 'birthday?'”

Fate helped Vivio out of the bed and proceeded to go about dressing her. “Well, it's a very special day. Normally people celebrate the day you were born by giving presents and eating lots of cake and ice cream.”

“You were born today?”

“I'm special,” Fate pet her head before going to her closet and picking up one of her uniforms. “Fate-mama doesn't know what day she was born on so Nanoha-mama gave me a birthday.”

“That's today?”

“Mm.” Fate started to button her undershirt. “Ten years ago, on that day when we were on the bridge, I made my first friend. That is my birthday.” Leaning over, Fate made sure Vivio's shirt was on properly. “Come now, let's go see if Nanoha-mama has caught anything on fire in the kitchen.”

Nanoha's voice floated up from downstairs with a loud “I can hear you!” and a pout once they were in visible range. “I prepared extra hard for you. I've been cooking Yuuno breakfast for the past week so I would be sure I did it properly.” She broke a few more eggs into a skillet and swirled the pan around. “Almost done, everything is ready but the eggs and biscuits.”

“Western style breakfast?” Fate looked impressed. “Biscuits too? Wow.”

“They're frozen,” Nanoha admitted to her while sticking out her tongue. “I tried really hard but not even Yuuno would eat them anymore after the third day...” Ignoring the amused look she continued to finish the eggs. “You like them a little runny, right? We should probably make sure Vivio's is fully cooked just in case though.”

“Nanoha-mama sure thinks about the right things,” Fate cooed at her, leaning over so she was looking over her shoulder. “Hm? Nanoha you went stiff all of a sudden.”

“N-nothing.” The breath from her friend's mouth tickled her neck lightly. “Will you get plates down please Fate-chan?” When the warm breath was gone she instantly felt a shiver go down her spine. “Vivio, help her set the table would you?” Her daughter replied happily and trotted over to the blond, holding her hands up to reach for one of the dishes.

Will be picked up again shortly

Awww~~

Cute!!1!! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

I need more!! Where's the rest?!?! :(

Please update soon

Saludos, Haru

[beddo9]

*looks around*

*dust off table*

*puts some paper on it* Found this.

I awoke slowly as the sunlight from the window finally reached my side of the bed. For some reason there was this spot on my pillow that always had the morning light hit it to wake me up. Amazingly no matter where I was on the bed I always seemed to be right there when the time came to awake me. It was for this reason that I rather liked the sun; it was a reliable alarm clock. Vivio moved against me lightly as she clutched at my shirt. With a smile I moved her hand from myself and crawled over her carefully so I could reach Fate. After double checking to make sure the little one was still asleep I went about waking up my friend. "Fate-chan," I smiled when she stirred lightly. "Fate-chaaaaaan." Moving to straddle her waist I started rubbing her shoulders. "Faaaaaaate-chan?" Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at me only half focused. "Happy birthday, Fate-chan." Leaning over I pecked he forehead. After doing such I slid onto her body and made myself comfortable, snuggling. "I'm going to make you breakfast but I'm still a little lazy." In response she draped one arm over the small of my back and shifted to get more comfortable. I loved it when she was sleepy, she was always so snuggly.

Sapphire Birthday
By:
Satashi

Nanoha allowed herself to enjoy the rare moment of being cuddled for almost five minutes before reluctantly re-straddling Fate's waist and sitting up on her lap. With a face-splitting yawn she stretched out and looked down at her friend again. The blond seemed to be slightly more awake now and was gazing up at her happily. “Happy birthday again,” She spoke down at her softly. In return the red eyed girl smiled up to her and offered her hands, which were taken. “I love your hands.”

“I know,” Fate finally spoke back as she played with Nanoha's fingers. The gesture was common now, having been seeded since they were only twelve years old. Nanoha had said the words countless times now while holding hands. Always the same, simple words. Once done, she would always reply in kind: “Thank you.” The two touched their fingertips together and idly flirted without saying anything else for a moment.

“Mama...” Vivio broke the silence then, reaching out to try and find one of her guardians. “... Mama...”

“Here,” Nanoha scooped her up and laid her next to her friend's body. “Have a Vivio.”

“Why thank you.” She accepted the gift and soon found herself cuddled. “I'll keep this gift forever and ever.”

“Or at least until she starts throwing a temper tantrum at which point you'll tell her to go to Nanoha-mama?”

“You nailed it.” Fate gave her a gentle gaze.

“I'm going to make us breakfast. I told your work space you would be late coming to work this morning already so take your time okay? You can even sleep another half-hour or so if you would like to.”

Fate shook her head. “I'll be down shortly. Thanks for the extra time.” The two met each other's eyes briefly before Nanoha leaned over to give both Vivio and herself a kiss to the temple. When done the pony tailed one waved lightly before going downstairs. 'How odd,' Fate mused to herself. 'Nanoha has always given me a present the very moment I woke up...Even when we were living in separate houses she would sneak to my room to be sure she was the absolute first to wish me a happy birthday.' With a curious hum she let the fact slide by and proceeded to wake up the child currently clinging to her. “Vivio. Vivio? Time to wake up sweetheart.” When she met the multi colored eyes of her sleepy 'child' she couldn't help but touch her nose. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Vivio rubbed her eyes with both hands before letting out a loud yawn. “Happy birthday.”

“You knew it was my birthday?”

“Nanoha-mama told me to be sure and say it as soon as I woke up,” She replied honestly. “What's a 'birthday?'”

Fate helped Vivio out of the bed and proceeded to go about dressing her. “Well, it's a very special day. Normally people celebrate the day you were born by giving presents and eating lots of cake and ice cream.”

“You were born today?”

“I'm special,” Fate pet her head before going to her closet and picking up one of her uniforms. “Fate-mama doesn't know what day she was born on so Nanoha-mama gave me a birthday.”

“That's today?”

“Mm.” Fate started to button her undershirt. “Ten years ago, on that day when we were on the bridge, I made my first friend. That is my birthday.” Leaning over, Fate made sure Vivio's shirt was on properly. “Come now, let's go see if Nanoha-mama has caught anything on fire in the kitchen.”

Nanoha's voice floated up from downstairs with a loud “I can hear you!” and a pout once they were in visible range. “I prepared extra hard for you. I've been cooking Yuuno breakfast for the past week so I would be sure I did it properly.” She broke a few more eggs into a skillet and swirled the pan around. “Almost done, everything is ready but the eggs and biscuits.”

“Western style breakfast?” Fate looked impressed. “Biscuits too? Wow.”

“They're frozen,” Nanoha admitted to her while sticking out her tongue. “I tried really hard but not even Yuuno would eat them anymore after the third day...” Ignoring the amused look she continued to finish the eggs. “You like them a little runny, right? We should probably make sure Vivio's is fully cooked just in case though.”

“Nanoha-mama sure thinks about the right things,” Fate cooed at her, leaning over so she was looking over her shoulder. “Hm? Nanoha you went stiff all of a sudden.”

“N-nothing.” The breath from her friend's mouth tickled her neck lightly. “Will you get plates down please Fate-chan?” When the warm breath was gone she instantly felt a shiver go down her spine. “Vivio, help her set the table would you?” Her daughter replied happily and trotted over to the blond, holding her hands up to reach for one of the dishes.

Will be picked up again shortly
Oh my, so CUTE >.<
please I want more:D

[Satashi]

Haha. okay okay, I'll write some on it :P

[Kirika-chan]

Haha. okay okay, I'll write some on it :P

Yes please T.T because it's SO cute and too short :p (but once again : good job ^^)

[panzerfan]

@Satashi: excellent work, your excellency. It melts my heart to read it...

[Krinen]

Gah! Cute! *squirm* I can't help but love it! Please update when you can...

[Hiddenryuu]

Well last part of chapter 1 of Untitled


”FATE!!!” Nanoha cried out in panic. She couldn’t tell if she was dead or alive, she was in a state of panic, there was nothing to do now except…

“Starlight breaker…” Raging hearts mechanical voice said.

After a wave of red, pink and explosions the results were , two people knocked out and one panting on the side.
* * *
Remilia woke up, she had a slight headache, she didn’t remember much, but she did slightly remember defeating that Fate girl. She tried to move her arms, but something heavy was stopping her. Looking down she realized that she was chained and put in a dark room.

Remilia though of her situation, as she saw it, she had two choices, escape now, and have no leads and clues of what to do. Or wait till her captors come back, and maybe have a slight chance of things explained to her.

It seemed like the second one was the better choice, if it didn’t work out she could probably find a way to escape.
* * *
“Is she going to be ok?” Nanoha asked worried, at the bedside of Fate, who was still unconscious after the battle.

Shamal nodded. “She got beat up pretty badly, but most of the damage is superficial, amazingly as I might add, considering how the battle ensued.”

“I told her not to push herself…” Hayate quietly scolded. “Geez, making us worry like that…” She stood up and started to leave the room. “I’m going to question our prisoner… maybe get some answers.”
* * *
Remilia looked up as another female entered. She grinned, maybe this person can answer some questions.

Hayate sat down next to her. “Could you tell me your name?” She asked.

Remilia grinned. “I’m a devil, aren’t you afraid?”

“We witness your power already, and yes it is quite fearful, however… your still here as our prisoner aren’t you?” Hayate retorted.

“Please do not be mistaken, me still being here is a show of good faith on my part.” She said. “You didn’t think some doors and shackles will hold me did you?”

“No, I don’t think so…” Hayate confirmed. “However, I don’t see you as a person to stay just cause of ‘good faith’. I mean you attacked innocent people without batting an eye…”

“Innocent? Humans are pretty amusing.” The Devil chuckled darkly. “You justify killing livestock for food, however, if someone is higher on the food chain, you condemn them for doing what you do. I had some dinner, no more no less…”

“That explains Vivio, that doesn’t explain the clothing store…”

“Would you wear something bloodstained dirty?”

“… I suppose not…however, this is very inconvenient, holding a conversation without knowing your name.” Hayate said.

“Remilia Scarlet, otherwise known as the Scarlet Devil,” Remilia said. “you never mentioned your name…wait... you ride on the luck of the eight gods don’t you? Young miss…”

Hayate let out a surprised yelp. “How…did…”

“Fate works in mysterious ways.” Remilia finished before Hayate was able to complete her question. “I was chosen to govern fate, however… it’s more like fate likes to let me peek at it.”

“You see the future?”

“Not that simple, young lady…I don’t understand it that well myself…however… I know that doing the right things at the right times allows me to manipulate it to a certain extent.”

“Young lady?” Hayate questioned. “You look young enough to be my daughter!”

“I’m pushing 500 human years…” Remi replied. “I lost count exactly how many more years after that.”

“…”

“So now that you ‘caught’ me what do you plan on doing?”

“Determine…” Hayate stopped, yea right, determine the punishment for a 500 year old demon? That’s a laugh. “Actually, let’s just drop that. I don’t think all the laws in this world would be able to contain you. So, let’s just do it this way… let’s work out an agreement.”

“Hahaha.” Remilia laughed heartily. She sounded like a little kid when she did that. “That’s why I like humans.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Most of the time, humans are weak, pathetic and stupid creatures.” Remi paused. “However, every once in awhile a couple surprise me, you certainly aren’t as stupid as some I met.”

“…I’ll take that as a compliment…”

“Alright, I agree to your terms, how about undoing these as a first step?”

“How would I know you wouldn’t attack me.”

“Ms. Yagami…if I planned to attack you, I wouldn’t wait this long…”

“Good point.” Hayate took out a ring of keys and started to undo the shackles. “So, why are you here anyways?”

The scarlet devil flips a picture to Hayate. “I’m looking for this item…without it, I can’t go home.”

Hayate looks at the picture, she almost jumps as she saw the item in the picture, there in great detail and color, was the picture of the Book of Darkness.

[Timeless Enigma]

Wow, how stupid of me. I thought I put a link to the page in my last post. I may be losing my mind.

Here it is: A brief look at The Bureau (http://masakism.mine.nu:10480/fanfiction/nanoha/prologue-take-1.html).

[Liingo]

Wow, how stupid of me. I thought I put a link to the page in my last post. I may be losing my mind.

Here it is: A brief look at The Bureau (http://masakism.mine.nu:10480/fanfiction/nanoha/prologue-take-1.html).

Not bad. Doesn't give much away, but it's hinting at a nice lengthy story that you can explore.

This set-up also allows you to introduce your OC as we go along. Definately a story to look out for :D

[Kagerou]

*raises hand* Stupid question:

Has there been a story about the Wolkenritter's past, before the Book? I ask because, for my one-shot surrounding Signum, I want repeated looks into her past; how she was raised in a time different from the one she lives in and how it affects the way she lives now.

Also, a lot of stuff centered on her father, who I think would be the one who raised her to be a Knight, and how she wants to eventually reach his skill and maybe one day find his Device (the Armed Device Longsword & Armor Vysaga).

[Satashi]

woot?! Please continue! I wanna also see Aya there

Aya? Hoe? @_@

[Liingo]

*raises hand* Stupid question:

Has there been a story about the Wolkenritter's past, before the Book? I ask because, for my one-shot surrounding Signum, I want repeated looks into her past; how she was raised in a time different from the one she lives in and how it affects the way she lives now.

Also, a lot of stuff centered on her father, who I think would be the one who raised her to be a Knight, and how she wants to eventually reach his skill and maybe one day find his Device (the Armed Device Longsword & Armor Vysaga).
Not in the ff thread, but there is in the OC thread :D

Refer to the epic works of Nightengale that is Saga der Saga (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=970804&postcount=755)

Caution, epic work is epic :D

[Satashi]

Not in the ff thread, but there is in the OC thread :D

Refer to the epic works of Nightengale that is Saga der Saga (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=970804&postcount=755)

Caution, epic work is epic :D

Nightengale <- says it all

[Liingo]

Nightengale <- says it all
Wouldn't Nightengale be better :p

It is very highly rated :D

[Fuyu no Sora]

Wouldn't Nightengale be better :p

It is very highly rated :D

Actually I think Nightengale would be more fitting (If you understand the sense of the color :D)

Or maybe Nightengale? :D:D

[Hiddenryuu]

Aya? Hoe? @_@

Aya Shameimaru Tengu reporter ^_^;;

http://www.pooshlmer.com/touhouwiki/index.php/Category:Characters <-- some info on the Touhou characters.

[Liingo]

Actually I think Nightengale would be more fitting (If you understand the sense of the color :D)

Or maybe Nightengale? :D:D

Well I'm working on the WoW colour scheme

Green= Uncommon
Blue= Rare
Purple= Epic
Orange= Legendary

Not sure about that colour sense you're talking about..:heh:

Oh and anyone interested in reading a mock battle? I can post it here if you guys want it. Part of my ongoing fic efforts for my OC's.

[krisslanza]

Actually I think Nightengale would be more fitting (If you understand the sense of the color :D)

Or maybe Nightengale? :D:D

How about Nightengale? :D
Can't get much higher then that...

*cough*
So this isn't spammy. Working on ze outline for my... Project...

[Fuyu no Sora]

Well I'm working on the WoW colour scheme

Green= Uncommon
Blue= Rare
Purple= Epic
Orange= Legendary

Not sure about that colour sense you're talking about..:heh:

Oh and anyone interested in reading a mock battle? I can post it here if you guys want it. Part of my ongoing fic efforts for my OC's.

Now I get it :heh:

I was working with OC thread (Of the time I was there) colors :heh: Blue being Bluecheesium and Green being Epicsium :heh::heh::heh:

But if it's based on the WoW scheme, then I agree. Nighty's just on a Legendary level :D :p

[Chaos2Frozen]

Nightengale <- says it all

Wouldn't Nightengale be better :p

It is very highly rated :D

Actually I think Nightengale would be more fitting (If you understand the sense of the color :D)

Or maybe Nightengale? :D:D


How about Nightengale? :D
Can't get much higher then that...


Now I get it :heh:

I was working with OC thread (Of the time I was there) colors :heh: Blue being Bluecheesium and Green being Epicsium :heh::heh::heh:

But if it's based on the WoW scheme, then I agree. Nighty's just on a Legendary level :D :p

...

=_=;;

=_=;;

=_=;;

=_=;;

=_=;;



http://wow.allakhazam.com/images/mobs/14450-orphanmatronnightingale.jpg

[Satashi]

Now I get it :heh:

I was working with OC thread (Of the time I was there) colors :heh: Blue being Bluecheesium and Green being Epicsium :heh::heh::heh:

But if it's based on the WoW scheme, then I agree. Nighty's just on a Legendary level :D :p

Does that make me Satashi ? T_T

[panzerfan]

@Liingo: what scale for this mock battle? 1 on 1, squad combat, or whole military exercise?

[Liingo]

Now I get it :heh:

I was working with OC thread (Of the time I was there) colors :heh: Blue being Bluecheesium and Green being Epicsium :heh::heh::heh:

But if it's based on the WoW scheme, then I agree. Nighty's just on a Legendary level :D :p

Orz.... You'd think I'd know that....:heh:

@ Panzerfan Squad based, 4 versus 7, with the group of 4 trying to break free from their pursuers. Tasty unlimitted action :D

Although it might be a little hard to understand unless you read the earlier parts.

@Chaos Does Not Compute:eyespin:

[USB500]

Sorry, everyone, no updates from me today, as starting this week I'll be busy working at the Pizza Hut. Hope I can get all the documents done before this Wednesday. :upset: :upset:

Anyway, here's my latest OC fanfic.

TEARS OF THE NORTHERN WIND
A Nanoverse OC Thread Special Presentation

Chapters 1 & 2 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1257126&postcount=16108)
Chapter 3 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1260623&postcount=16310)

[Satashi]

Sorry, everyone, no updates from me today, as starting this week I'll be busy working at the Pizza Hut. Hope I can get all the documents done before this Wednesday. :upset: :upset:

Anyway, here's my latest OC fanfic.

TEARS OF THE NORTHERN WIND
A Nanoverse OC Thread Special Presentation

Chapters 1 & 2 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1257126&postcount=16108)
Chapter 3 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1260623&postcount=16310)

you're gonna work at pizza hut? Transfer to the one in my town and give me discounts! :D :D :D

[USB500]

More of my untitled fic


Fate was frustrated, she checked out the area where the attack happened, but there were no clues, except a very slight trail of blood droplets confirming where Vivio was attacked. The trail seemed to lead… to nowhere. That just doesn’t make sense, if it was a message, why would someone not leave anything to identify.

The sun has already set, and Fate still had little or nowhere to go on…

Suddenly, several red screens popped up with the word “ALERT” on it, blaring in front of Fate. “Yes?” She asked.

“There is an incident happening in the clothing shop around you, Fate!” Hayate’s voice said. “Could you check it out for me, I’m sending some back up to take care of the panic.”

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Fate replied. “Bardiche, lets go.”

“Yes , sir.”

***
Remilia pulled the dress from the weird device that was holding it quickly and changed out of her blood soaked dress. People were panicking around her everywhere, probably cause she didn’t have any money of this world.

“Freeze, you’re under arrest.” A voice said. Remilia turned around and looked, a larger women, with blonde hair wearing the oddest clothing she had seen stood in front of her, holding a scythe.

Fate looked at the thief, she was surprised to see a girl, looking no older than Vivio who was wearing one of the store’s dresses. There was 2 things immediately that didn’t fit the picture. One, is why anyone would rob a wedding dress store to steal something, this girl looked like she was ready to be a flower girl attending an “emergency” wedding. Two, this girl had 2 wings that sprouted behind her back.

Under arrest? What does that supposed to mean. Remilia thought to herself. She had no idea what this girl was trying to say. It didn’t matter, Remilia was confident in her abilities, this girl could never catch her, she didn’t need to kill her. She smiled slightly inside, maybe she could go for a light snack…

Fate sighed, it didn’t seem like this girl understood her, it looks like she’s going to have to knock her out. “I’m sorry.” She announced to the girl as lighting spears materialized in the air.

Remilia smiled, so a danmaku battle already huh. Good, she was getting a little bored, maybe this woman will keep her occupied until she found what that gap demon was talking about.

“Fire!” Fate said directing the lighting spears at the girl. The girl with inhuman like speed dodged between the projectiles, heading straight at her. Fate stood ready holding her weapon to prepare for an oncoming melee attack…

It never came, the girl suddenly swooped above her, summoning red orbs of lights. “Servant flier” she declared as the red became small red arrow heading straight for her prey.

“Sonic Move!” Bardiche confirmed when Fate used her signature move to get in back of the girl. She slashed her scythe down trying to catch the intruder.

The blow never hit, before it can, the girl suddenly disappeared into a horde of bats, which flew past her and reformed into the girl. “…You are pretty interesting…” The girl suddenly said. “…for a human.”

So, she can talk. Fate thought to herself, and what does she mean for a human… “You’re not?” She asked.

Remilia looked weirdly at the girl, haven’t she heard of youkai before? Wait, that’s right, she was in a different world now, thanks to that… ugh. “No, I’m not, to put it simply, I’m a descendent of Vlad Tepes or Dracula.”

Fate gasped. “…No way… vampires… aren’t real…”

“Yet I still stand before you, what’s your name human?” She said.

“Sophie” Fate replied. “Sophie Belmont.” She lied, remembering this game Vivio was playing… what was it called? Oh yea Castlevania. “What is yours?”

“Fufufufu…” the vampire chuckled. “You are indeed interesting.” With that she moved so fast that Fate couldn’t follow, reappearing at Fate side. “I see, you are a being of fate, and guided by it too… I really like you… Fate…”

“What are you talking about?!” Fate said. “You aren’t making any sense!”

“Wait…” Fate exclaimed quickly backing away from her in realization. “Did you attack a young girl last night?”

“Hmm… I don’t remember…” Remilia replied. “Do you remember what kind of bread you ate?”

“You…” Fate growled.

“Zamber form.” Bariche announced changing into a sword.

“This is fun!” Remilia laughed. “Too bad Sakuya isn’t here to enjoy this. How would you like to work for me?”

“I would rather die!” Fate retorted charging her swinging her sword.

Remilia jumped to dodge the oncoming blow. “Heaven’s punishment…” she chanted “Star of David…” Big orbs of energy gathered everywhere around Fate. “If I were you I would give up now…” She said. “I don’t like to over damage my prey.”

Fate looked at the orbs, she was surrounded by them, but it doesn’t mean there was any way out… there’s got to be a weak point to this, “There is no one in battle that is truly invincible.” Was the saying that came to mind. She quickly jumped out of the way as the orbs shoot energy beams all over the place, she rolled out of the way as the orbs shot small orbs landing all over the place.

“Great…” Fate muttered. “Who’s going to pay for all these damages?” she said to no one in particular.

“You are surprisingly good at dodging” Remilia said happily. “Now I really want you to be my maid.”

“Shut up!” Fate retorted, dodging another projectiles and charging toward her.

“Critical , Heartbreak” the girl grabbed a scarlet red spear out of nowhere and threw it at Fate.

Crap, Fate thought, I can’t dodge this not at this speed or distance.

“Wide area protection.” A different voice said. A pink shield protected Fate as the spear hit it straight into it causing a big explosion.

“Nanoha…?” Fate asked weakly.

“I was wondering what’s taking you so long, Fate.” Nanoha said. “Who’s this?” She asked.

“She’s the one who attacked Vivio…” Fate said bitterly. “Careful, she’s so strong it’s almost unreal.”

Nanoha glared at the girl. “Okay , first mistake…” She charged a divine buster. “You messed with my daughter” She shot her buster. “Second mistake , you messed with my best friend.” Another buster, “You mess with them, you mess with me!”

After the smoke cleared amazingly, the girl seemed unharmed. “… I didn’t expect someone with the capability of Master Spark to be here...” She frowned , last time she had to face down 2 enemies of this caliber didn’t turn out so well for her, plus she still had a mission, that stupid demon won’t fetch her until the mission was completed.

Unfortunately for her, the two women in question weren’t about to give up. The one in blue and white started to barrage her with projectiles everywhere, the one called Fate was trying her hardest to get in her range. Personally, she preferred hand to hand over range battles, but fighting two people is a lot different from one.

The exchange went on for a while, finally Remilia managed to grab Fate out of the air, she lifted her up…

“Scarlet sign… Red, the nightless castle…”

A big explosion of red energy weaved around her in the form of a cross ironically…pushing everything back.


:eek:

is this a crossover? Or a Nanoha fanfic with original characters? Either way, this is one awesome chapter, if not action-packed. http://forums.animesuki.com/images/as.global/icons/icon14.gif

*looks around*

*dust off table*

*puts some paper on it* Found this.

I awoke slowly as the sunlight from the window finally reached my side of the bed. For some reason there was this spot on my pillow that always had the morning light hit it to wake me up. Amazingly no matter where I was on the bed I always seemed to be right there when the time came to awake me. It was for this reason that I rather liked the sun; it was a reliable alarm clock. Vivio moved against me lightly as she clutched at my shirt. With a smile I moved her hand from myself and crawled over her carefully so I could reach Fate. After double checking to make sure the little one was still asleep I went about waking up my friend. "Fate-chan," I smiled when she stirred lightly. "Fate-chaaaaaan." Moving to straddle her waist I started rubbing her shoulders. "Faaaaaaate-chan?" Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at me only half focused. "Happy birthday, Fate-chan." Leaning over I pecked he forehead. After doing such I slid onto her body and made myself comfortable, snuggling. "I'm going to make you breakfast but I'm still a little lazy." In response she draped one arm over the small of my back and shifted to get more comfortable. I loved it when she was sleepy, she was always so snuggly.

Sapphire Birthday
By:
Satashi

Nanoha allowed herself to enjoy the rare moment of being cuddled for almost five minutes before reluctantly re-straddling Fate's waist and sitting up on her lap. With a face-splitting yawn she stretched out and looked down at her friend again. The blond seemed to be slightly more awake now and was gazing up at her happily. “Happy birthday again,” She spoke down at her softly. In return the red eyed girl smiled up to her and offered her hands, which were taken. “I love your hands.”

“I know,” Fate finally spoke back as she played with Nanoha's fingers. The gesture was common now, having been seeded since they were only twelve years old. Nanoha had said the words countless times now while holding hands. Always the same, simple words. Once done, she would always reply in kind: “Thank you.” The two touched their fingertips together and idly flirted without saying anything else for a moment.

“Mama...” Vivio broke the silence then, reaching out to try and find one of her guardians. “... Mama...”

“Here,” Nanoha scooped her up and laid her next to her friend's body. “Have a Vivio.”

“Why thank you.” She accepted the gift and soon found herself cuddled. “I'll keep this gift forever and ever.”

“Or at least until she starts throwing a temper tantrum at which point you'll tell her to go to Nanoha-mama?”

“You nailed it.” Fate gave her a gentle gaze.

“I'm going to make us breakfast. I told your work space you would be late coming to work this morning already so take your time okay? You can even sleep another half-hour or so if you would like to.”

Fate shook her head. “I'll be down shortly. Thanks for the extra time.” The two met each other's eyes briefly before Nanoha leaned over to give both Vivio and herself a kiss to the temple. When done the pony tailed one waved lightly before going downstairs. 'How odd,' Fate mused to herself. 'Nanoha has always given me a present the very moment I woke up...Even when we were living in separate houses she would sneak to my room to be sure she was the absolute first to wish me a happy birthday.' With a curious hum she let the fact slide by and proceeded to wake up the child currently clinging to her. “Vivio. Vivio? Time to wake up sweetheart.” When she met the multi colored eyes of her sleepy 'child' she couldn't help but touch her nose. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Vivio rubbed her eyes with both hands before letting out a loud yawn. “Happy birthday.”

“You knew it was my birthday?”

“Nanoha-mama told me to be sure and say it as soon as I woke up,” She replied honestly. “What's a 'birthday?'”

Fate helped Vivio out of the bed and proceeded to go about dressing her. “Well, it's a very special day. Normally people celebrate the day you were born by giving presents and eating lots of cake and ice cream.”

“You were born today?”

“I'm special,” Fate pet her head before going to her closet and picking up one of her uniforms. “Fate-mama doesn't know what day she was born on so Nanoha-mama gave me a birthday.”

“That's today?”

“Mm.” Fate started to button her undershirt. “Ten years ago, on that day when we were on the bridge, I made my first friend. That is my birthday.” Leaning over, Fate made sure Vivio's shirt was on properly. “Come now, let's go see if Nanoha-mama has caught anything on fire in the kitchen.”

Nanoha's voice floated up from downstairs with a loud “I can hear you!” and a pout once they were in visible range. “I prepared extra hard for you. I've been cooking Yuuno breakfast for the past week so I would be sure I did it properly.” She broke a few more eggs into a skillet and swirled the pan around. “Almost done, everything is ready but the eggs and biscuits.”

“Western style breakfast?” Fate looked impressed. “Biscuits too? Wow.”

“They're frozen,” Nanoha admitted to her while sticking out her tongue. “I tried really hard but not even Yuuno would eat them anymore after the third day...” Ignoring the amused look she continued to finish the eggs. “You like them a little runny, right? We should probably make sure Vivio's is fully cooked just in case though.”

“Nanoha-mama sure thinks about the right things,” Fate cooed at her, leaning over so she was looking over her shoulder. “Hm? Nanoha you went stiff all of a sudden.”

“N-nothing.” The breath from her friend's mouth tickled her neck lightly. “Will you get plates down please Fate-chan?” When the warm breath was gone she instantly felt a shiver go down her spine. “Vivio, help her set the table would you?” Her daughter replied happily and trotted over to the blond, holding her hands up to reach for one of the dishes.

Will be picked up again shortly
That's all? Where's the rest? :heh:

And Fate's being naughty again :3 :uhoh:

I knew I should continue that yuri story

you're gonna work at pizza hut? Transfer to the one in my town and give me discounts! :D :D :D

I see if I can do anything about that. :heh:

[Hiddenryuu]

:eek:

is this a crossover? Or a Nanoha fanfic with original characters? Either way, this is one awesome chapter, if not action-packed. http://forums.animesuki.com/images/as.global/icons/icon14.gif


That's all? Where's the rest? :heh:

And Fate's being naughty again :3 :uhoh:

I knew I should continue that yuri story



I see if I can do anything about that. :heh:


It's a cross over ... touhou xover... the beginning of the chapter was a few pages back... I finally uploaded to FFN though

here... (there's an intro to the characters in the beginning)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3899439/1/Scarlet_Fate

if you like to learn more about the Touhou characters (Which are all fun IMHO and fit in the Nanoha like fighting really well)

http://pooshlmer.com/touhouwiki/index.php/Touhou_Wiki <-- goto the character section

[USB500]

It's a cross over ... touhou xover... the beginning of the chapter was a few pages back... I finally uploaded to FFN though

here... (there's an intro to the characters in the beginning)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3899439/1/Scarlet_Fate

if you like to learn more about the Touhou characters (Which are all fun IMHO and fit in the Nanoha like fighting really well)

http://pooshlmer.com/touhouwiki/index.php/Touhou_Wiki <-- goto the character section

Ah.

Touho. No wonder. and I must say this again: this is one good story to follow, and I shall read it. :3

[Satashi]

Sapphire is coming along ^^ expect more cute moments, and cosplaying Vivio! XDDD! Who is she cosplaying? It's~A~Secret~

Fate's in for the best day of her life!

[Hiddenryuu]

Sapphire is coming along ^^ expect more cute moments, and cosplaying Vivio! XDDD! Who is she cosplaying? It's~A~Secret~

Fate's in for the best day of her life!

Aww! The suspense is too much!!

:)

[Krinen]

Sapphire is coming along ^^ expect more cute moments, and cosplaying Vivio! XDDD! Who is she cosplaying? It's~A~Secret~

Fate's in for the best day of her life!

I am filled with a mixture of bewilderment, and excitement....

Can't wait! :D

[lil-d01]

Sapphire is coming along ^^ expect more cute moments, and cosplaying Vivio! XDDD! Who is she cosplaying? It's~A~Secret~

Fate's in for the best day of her life!

Don't be like a Matsuri from Sola. Teasers are hard to ignore. >_<

[beddo9]

Sapphire is coming along ^^ expect more cute moments, and cosplaying Vivio! XDDD! Who is she cosplaying? It's~A~Secret~

Fate's in for the best day of her life!
Now suspense is killing me >.<
hope that makes you happy, Satashi-san:p:heh:

[mercurianangel]

Another fic pic for you Satashi....hope you don't mind

http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs23/f/2007/324/f/2/FIC___Rebirth_by_Satashi_by_mercurianangel.jpg

DA link (http://mercurianangel.deviantart.com/art/FIC-Rebirth-by-Satashi-70224065)

[Liingo]

Another fic pic for you Satashi....hope you don't mind

http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs23/f/2007/324/f/2/FIC___Rebirth_by_Satashi_by_mercurianangel.jpg

DA link (http://mercurianangel.deviantart.com/art/FIC-Rebirth-by-Satashi-70224065)

Wow thats really good
:bow: :bow: :bow:

I can't remember the scene exactly but that's
Nanoha possesed by Skeith on the right correct

[Satashi]

Another fic pic for you Satashi....hope you don't mind

http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs23/f/2007/324/f/2/FIC___Rebirth_by_Satashi_by_mercurianangel.jpg

DA link (http://mercurianangel.deviantart.com/art/FIC-Rebirth-by-Satashi-70224065)


:bow: I'm amazed. Can't even begin to say how flattered I am and how much I love the picture ^_^ Thank you sooooooo much for it, I set it as my desktop wallpaper already :D *hugs2you*

“No!” Skeith pulled one hand back and punched Fate in the stomach, doubling her over. “I’ll take you down so you will be too weak to fight anymore!” She pushed her hand out, forming three orange strips around her wrist. The energy grew, starting to rotate around her arm while forming red and green hexagons between them. “Data Drain!”

Fate ignored the sudden pain from the attack, grabbing Skeith by the shoulders. “Nanoha! Come back! Fight this!”

Skeith’s mask crept downwards slowly revealing her nose and mouth. “Fate…”

“Nanoha!” The blonde’s eyes began to droop as her magic was siphoned away. “Nanoha…”

“Fate! Fate!” Tears spilled from her eyes all at once.

“Don’t let her… control you…Nanoha…” Fate leaned forward, using the last of her energy to grip her neck and pull her into a kiss.

[panzerfan]

An easy way for people to use this as a wallpaper would be to match the white of this picture to the background white. Set the background color on RGB to 249, 249, 249 or #F0F0F0 and you should get a color match. If nobody objects, I can whip up a wallpaper of this with almost zero effort.

[mercurianangel]

@Lingo and Satashi: I'm glad you like it ^_____^
@Panzerfan: You have no objection from me~

[panzerfan]

Well, here's what I meant for instant wallpaper. Just add white.


http://img128.imageshack.us/img128/5/ficwprebirthbysatashibyta0.png (http://imageshack.us)

[Satashi]

woot, wallpaper!

Sapphire:
Plot revised slightly, reworking a bit. length is on hold as I change things around to accommodate the new idea.


(and thanks again for the spiffy picture! )

[lil-d01]

Finally able to post that high school Subaru/Tia fic (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3901638/1/Exchange) on ff.net I was talking about. >_> Will post the second chapter when I get at least 3000 words on my third chapter - so I can edit previous one if needed. ^^

@ mercurianangel: commented on dA. :D

[MedliSage]

Well I figure I'll post my only published Nanoha fanfiction for some more reviews... I started and finished it in late September, tell me what you think. :heh: No pairings, post A's, pre StrikerS.

It Was My Fault (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3800417/1/It_Was_My_Fault)

Summary: Nanoha and Vita leave on a small mission. It's supposed to be a quick job, but after years of overworking her body, Nanoha just can't react fast enough.

[Satashi]

Sapphire teaser:
~~~~~~~~~
Fate brought a hand to her mouth, eyes wide and shivering at the sight of Nanoha before her.
~~~~~~~~~
What can it be!? Is Nanoha badly hurt and bleeding and almost dieing?! Perhaps she's cosplaying? Maybe she's naked in bed covered in whip cream? What if Fate caught her in bed with Yuuno on her birthday!? And how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie center of a tootsie pop!? Find out in the thrilling conclusion of Sapphire birthday!

Nanoha: Conclusion? It's one chapter! *flails*

[ghazghkull]

Sapphire teaser:
~~~~~~~~~
Fate brought a hand to her mouth, eyes wide and shivering at the sight of Nanoha before her.
~~~~~~~~~
What can it be!? Is Nanoha badly hurt and bleeding and almost dieing?! Perhaps she's cosplaying? Maybe she's naked in bed covered in whip cream? What if Fate caught her in bed with Yuuno on her birthday!? And how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie center of a tootsie pop!? Find out in the thrilling conclusion of Sapphire birthday!

Nanoha: Conclusion? It's one chapter! *flails*

....EEHHH!!!

JUST POST THE ONE-SHOT ALRDY!!! T.T

[beddo9]

Finally able to post that high school Subaru/Tia fic (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3901638/1/Exchange) on ff.net I was talking about. >_> Will post the second chapter when I get at least 3000 words on my third chapter - so I can edit previous one if needed. ^^

@ mercurianangel: commented on dA. :D
I'm going to read it first when I have time:heh:then I will try to give you some useful reviews:heh::heh:
Sapphire teaser:
~~~~~~~~~
Fate brought a hand to her mouth, eyes wide and shivering at the sight of Nanoha before her.
~~~~~~~~~
What can it be!? Is Nanoha badly hurt and bleeding and almost dieing?! Perhaps she's cosplaying? Maybe she's naked in bed covered in whip cream? What if Fate caught her in bed with Yuuno on her birthday!? And how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie center of a tootsie pop!? Find out in the thrilling conclusion of Sapphire birthday!

Nanoha: Conclusion? It's one chapter! *flails*
Satashi-san, teasers like these aren't good for my mental's shake, you know.:heh:

[lil-d01]

@ beddo9: lol, take your time. Don't force yourself. :)

I see ghazghkull's almost at breaking point. Or already is.

Just how many teasers are you planning to dish out, Satashi? http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/clown_donkey/Emoticons/shamefulcry0js.gif

[Satashi]

@ beddo9: lol, take your time. Don't force yourself. :)

I see ghazghkull's almost at breaking point. Or already is.

Just how many teasers are you planning to dish out, Satashi? http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/clown_donkey/Emoticons/shamefulcry0js.gif

I'm building anticipation :P

[Liingo]

^^ Lol

You're evil Satashi, evil indeed. :p

Then again, I'd have to include other people here in that group as they post teasers to thier works as well occasionally :uhoh:

[Satashi]

Oh come on, lets see some action here T_T

[Fuyu no Sora]

Oh come on, lets see some action here T_T

Apparently everyone went to get a couple of drinks that eventually evolved into a few bottles that eventually got them throwing up and that eventually had them pass out! :D :heh: (Bad joke)

Nah, really. Where is everyone? @@!

[lil-d01]

Waiting for Satashi to stop teasing us, probably.

[krisslanza]

Well... I just haven't started on my project. I have another thing on my plate that I should do first... :heh:

I feel unworthy of writing Nanoha. ._.

[ghazghkull]

my case, i've lost all drive to write fanfics again atm

and oh yeah, I'M 19 FINALLY!!! XD

[lil-d01]

@krisslanza: Don't feel unworthy~! What project were you planning? *curious*


>.>

<.<

Am I the youngest member in here? *will never tell age*

[beddo9]

I feel unworthy of writing Nanoha. ._.
please don't think like that, just write what you want to write:)

Am I the youngest member in here? *will never tell age*
maybe it's not you but me:heh:

[krisslanza]

It's a secret on the exact details :heh: But basically just stuff after StrikerS. Will involve a war, battles, and death. Stuff like that. :nod:

[Satashi]

Sapphire will be posted Monday night. It's short, but sweet.

[lil-d01]

maybe it's not you but me:heh:

Still in high school? Right?

It's a secret on the exact details :heh: But basically just stuff after StrikerS. Will involve a war, battles, and death. Stuff like that. :nod:

Oooo~

So why aren't you worthy of writing Nanoha? *glomps you* Does that increase your confidence a tiny bit? (If my glomps actually do anything positive like that...)



It's nearly Monday night over here. D: Why do I have to be in the 'future' so much that I become impatient...

[Satashi]

It's nearly Monday night over here. D: Why do I have to be in the 'future' so much that I become impatient...

it gives you more time to prepare.

Make sure to brush your teeth, you'll have cavities after reading this :P

[lil-d01]

I brush it twice every night (including this night), so I hope that will help me avoid the dentist after reading it. :)

[beddo9]

Still in high school? Right?

I'm not gonna spill the secret:p
Sapphire will be posted Monday night. It's short, but sweet.
can't wait for it >w<

[Satashi]

Spoiler

Fate eats a taco

What does it mean? With me you never know......

[krisslanza]

You and your tacos Satashi-sama :uhoh:
@lil:

I feel unworthy because I just lack self-confidence in my own writing skills :heh: I've never written anything... 'Serious' before. And this is a pretty serious idea. :uhoh:

[arkhangelsk]

You and your tacos Satashi-sama :uhoh:
@lil:

I feel unworthy because I just lack self-confidence in my own writing skills :heh: I've never written anything... 'Serious' before. And this is a pretty serious idea. :uhoh:

Similar feelings here. I'm afraid I'll bore all to death as soon as I write a FanFic.

[Krinen]

Similar feelings here. I'm afraid I'll bore all to death as soon as I write a FanFic.

At least you aren't the type who has to have some poor sap criticize you at every small interval in EVERYTHING you do.

Why I need constant confirmation in such a way is so far beyond me I'd need a telescope to see it.

[lil-d01]

@lil:

I feel unworthy because I just lack self-confidence in my own writing skills :heh: I've never written anything... 'Serious' before. And this is a pretty serious idea. :uhoh:

Ah, I see. Well, if you don't try, the fact that you haven't written anything 'serious' will stay true until you do. Try, try! The result will probably be better than you think. :)

[Chaos2Frozen]

>.>

<.<


Well now, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't say this...




I feel unworthy because I just lack self-confidence in my own writing skills :heh: I've never written anything... 'Serious' before. And this is a pretty serious idea. :uhoh:


You're on the right path krisslanza! No matter what happens, you should never try to be a hero/heroine and do some that you couldn't be 100% absolutely, completely, positively, sure that you could accomplish it :nod:

Sure you could succeed... But you could also FAIL miserably, have your dignity stripped from you, your pride smashed into bits, and not to mention the impending mental breakdown and being withdrawn from sociality, hiding away in a cave till the end of civilization, never to see your love ones again!

And what if you couldn't continue mid-way? What if you suffer a huge mental block and wrote yourself into a corner? The disappointment and despair of the readers would haunt you forever, invading your sleep, keeping you up at night. Do you have the courage to face that? DO you?!

But Don't worry, I have a few guidelines that you could follow...




1. You have to consider all the "what ifs" because they COULD turn out to be more important later on some how. Remember, don't leave any of those out.

2. Procrastination is always very good thing, it allows you to take a step back all the way to see where you really stand in the vast, deep, and intimidating ocean... Before you try to jump in it without preparations.

3. Some people are just not cut out for certain things... How does this help you? Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out :)

4. Fear is a powerful enemy, don't try to fight it. Just give in so that it'll leave you alone :nod:

5. And remember this very important rule, you can never suck at anything that you never tried :nod: And don't let anyone tell you otherwise :nod:


--------------------------------------------


P.S - Ahhh, It's always a nice feeling when I do good deeds, or give advices to others :nod:

[ghazghkull]

LOL Hurray for good Samaritans out there. *claps*

I really don't have much to say, except that you'll never know unless you try. If anything, just write away on a whim. Let whatever idea you have flow through your fingers and onto the computer. Just write away, and try not to stype, until you feel that it is finished.

Afterwards, leave it alone for a little while, come back, sit down, and read what you've written.

Does it seem right?

Does it need some trimming?

Does it need some additional reinforcement?

Ask those, and other questions as you look at it as a reader. By then you can figure out what you did wrong, or what you could improve on in terms of what you've written so that it turns out better than before.

Besides, all of us have started out where you are right now. Each and every fanfic writer, who has been humbled by the more advanced skills of those around them, are usually wondering how they will stand in the grand scheme of things. And in all honesty, sometimes you just need to take a deep breathe, and take the plunge. Dive straight down into the world that is: fanfiction writing.

Or in your case, the deeper parts of the world. Eventually we need to take a chance, in order to expand our horizons. So don't get discouraged, and don't be afraid. Just do what you feel is right, and it'll work its way from there.

[krisslanza]

Well Chaos those were... Helpful words? :heh:
Good ol' writer's block. I get that so often, I may as well wear a shirt saying I have it. I swear... it really sucks. XD

Well guess I'll finish the rough outline I have going, try out a chapter and read it... Maybe let a few people see it and see what they think... :nod:
Just don't expect it anytime soon... :heh: Have my final essay to worry about (Although it's in-class) so my creativity will be focused elsewhere for a bit. :nod:

[Satashi]

Sapphire Birthday
Status: Completed
Length: 4,782 words

Although it's done I'm not going to post tonight. Sorry, I know I said I would but after scanning most of the afternoon I didn't have the time I thought I would. I don't want to rush to read over this and post it and it not be worth the wait I made everyone do for so long...so I'm holding it off for one more quality read over.

My apologies <3 It is completed, and will be posted tomorrow afternoon.

[Fuyu no Sora]

Sapphire Birthday
Status: Completed
Length: 4,782 words

Although it's done I'm not going to post tonight. Sorry, I know I said I would but after scanning most of the afternoon I didn't have the time I thought I would. I don't want to rush to read over this and post it and it not be worth the wait I made everyone do for so long...so I'm holding it off for one more quality read over.

My apologies <3 It is completed, and will be posted tomorrow afternoon.

Is it for certain this time? Because my dentist has already warned me that if I keep postponing my rendez-vous with her, she'll not only cancel the consultation but she's not going to treat any cavities that I might get in the future and, seeing as this fic seems to be full of cavity-making material, this might be a problem :heh::heh: (Ah, the sarcasm of old friends, ne? :D)

I can barely wait to read this fic! :D:D

[Krinen]

Sapphire Birthday
Status: Completed
Length: 4,782 words

Although it's done I'm not going to post tonight. Sorry, I know I said I would but after scanning most of the afternoon I didn't have the time I thought I would. I don't want to rush to read over this and post it and it not be worth the wait I made everyone do for so long...so I'm holding it off for one more quality read over.

My apologies <3 It is completed, and will be posted tomorrow afternoon.

Now you remind me of VALVe...

Well, even with the wait, Quality is what matters, take 'ya time, Satashi.

[Satashi]

Sapphire Birthday is posted :D

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916020/1/

Enjoy

[Liingo]

I don't recall seeing any blue flowers...

Shouldn't it be Ruby Birthday instead :p

I liked it. Although could I ask to tone down the bunny acts once you get around to writing the next part :p Sweet but not so bad as to be sickening sweet...:D

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Sapphire Birthday is posted :D

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916020/1/

Enjoy

O..M..G...so much fluff...and WAFF..and...and...

INSULIN!! I NEED INSULIN!!!

*passes out of cuteness overload*

[krisslanza]

HURRY! WE NEED INSULIN STAT! WE NEED TO OPERATE!
*Trauma Center music plays*

*cough*
Sorry. >>;
I'll be reading that after I eat a I think. I'll tell ya what I think in a bit. :D

[USB500]

Sapphire Birthday is posted :D

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916020/1/

Enjoy
Yummy. <3

This story has the perfect ingredient for a perfect "sweetness-induced" moments. :nod: :nod:

Warning: may not be recommended to those with diabetes history. :heh:

[ghazghkull]

wow....that was overly sweet LOL XD

but then again, you already know my comments from my review

[Satashi]

Hehe =^.^= glad everyone seems to like it. Took me a while to get that one out for some reason. dunno why....it's a short one. O.< Oh well.

Next on list is Redemption, and the Hayate/Yuuno story hasn't been forgotten. It's just slow 'cause I'm re-writing it >.<

[krisslanza]

Ah the sweetness is too much! XD
I better not get cavities! D<

*Goes to write up a review*
On another note... Once I finish getting some info for my final essay I have to start working on... I think I'll work on finishing the little 'teaser' I made for my fanfic idea. I decided to hold off on my YU one due to intense writer's block in YU. Figure a change of pace might help...

EDIT:
No teaser tonight I think... :uhoh:
POSSIBLE. But not likely. I have house-sitting to do for the next month so... I have to go spend the night in a house all alone soon :uhoh:

[lil-d01]

Warning: may not be recommended to those with diabetes history. :heh:

Next time, put it in bold and early!



I giggled many, many times. Too cuteeeee~! http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/clown_donkey/Emoticons/em181.gif Nanoha is slow yet so sweet! Really love how you used flowers in this one. :3 Always love 'symbolism'.

[krisslanza]

Well... Here is a little teaser. :uhoh:
I doubt it's going to build any anticipation... But it sure felt GOOD to write something for a change. And I just wanted to share it. :nod:


A lone woman stands, bathed in light, in a dark room. It's boundaries are unsee able beyond the light that radiants and bathes the woman. But upon closer inspection, light isn't merely surrounding her she is the light, a hologram incarnated by the light. The figure is a pretty, young, slim woman with long blonde hair reaching below her waist with a bang obscuring the left half of her face, although one can make out a silver eye peering through the rogue strands of hair, a sharp contrast to it's unobstructed blue cousin.

The blonde reaches into her jacket pocket, and after some fishing around, procures a cigarette which she proceeds to light and take a drag from, a cloud of smoke raises upwards and vanishes.

“Once upon a time Mid-Childa wasn't a planet with half of it's land a barren, debris-littered wasteland. There was a time when there used to be a city there, Kranagan. But as I'm sure everyone is painfully aware, we no longer live in a world like that now.”, a pause as she takes another drag from the stick, “No, rather we live in a world living in a fragile, uneasy, unofficial truce. We no longer have a true functioning society. The TSAB has collapsed on itself, two sides vying for control as our enemy, Varista, rebuilds it's forces for the coup de grace.

Now, how did it get that bad? Well... That's the Stardust War as they call it. The first part of it anyway. I fought in that war, the only war we've ever really known. Now, I wasn't everywhere at once. If I was, I'd be like those charred kids on Alza, blasted into dust from orbit. But I was everywhere else of importance pretty much. From the first true battle above Alza to the final, catastrophic showdown on Mid-Childa... Guess I better get started then eh?”


And uhm... If anyone is a fan of StarCraft and has read the novels... I did just pull a Daniel Liberty opening right there :uhoh:

[Eagle8819]

I suppose you guys are in for a double treat today. ;)

Here's another fic update.

Resplendence of Ebony, Part III (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3804230/3/Resplendence_of_Ebony).

@Krisslanza: A war-torn world. Looks interesting. o.O

[Kagerou]

Sapphire Birthday is posted :D

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916020/1/

Enjoy

I have diabeetus now, thank you. :p

[Ly'iol]

And uhm... If anyone is a fan of StarCraft and has read the novels... I did just pull a Daniel Liberty opening right there

that actually made me smile with glee, I just happen to have read that novel and wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't say anything. Neato:D

[USB500]

Next time, put it in bold and early!



I giggled many, many times. Too cuteeeee~! http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/clown_donkey/Emoticons/em181.gif Nanoha is slow yet so sweet! Really love how you used flowers in this one. :3 Always love 'symbolism'.

:heh: :heh: :heh:

--------------------

This story will be posted via links only. :nod:
TEARS OF THE NORTHERN WIND
A Nanoverse OC Thread Special Presentation

Chapters 1 & 2 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1257126&postcount=16108)
Chapter 3 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1260623&postcount=16310)
Chapter 4, reposted (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1264158&postcount=16473)
Chapter 5 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1266811&postcount=16579)
Chapter 6 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1273920&postcount=16847)
Chapter 7 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1274330&postcount=16869)


And here's images of the featured characters:
http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/3581/1194847289064ye3.jpg

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/838/baranwn6.jpg

http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/1666/hikkizg9.jpg

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/9372/sonota74vd6.th.jpg (http://img211.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sonota74vd6.jpg)

[Satashi]

"A picture is worth a thousand words"

Ever heard that? Well I'm going to put it into play right now. My next few SNLs will be chosen by you guys. PM me a picture of anything StrikerS and I'll choose one of the ones sent to me at random and do a 1,000 word short on it. Can by anything from cute and cuddly to hot and steamy.

[Satashi]

also, here's a picture I got for Sapphire. Spoiler for the ending!

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/th_Nanoha_propose.jpg (http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/Nanoha_propose.jpg)

[BPHaru]

also, here's a picture I got for Sapphire. Spoiler for the ending!

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/th_Nanoha_propose.jpg (http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/Nanoha_propose.jpg)

What a coincidence, after reading your fic my second thought was "Someone should draw a fanart of this scene..." (the first one was "Awwwwwww~", but that's not even a thought :heh:), and now here we have this cute pic~

Good job, both the artist and the author of the original fic ^^

Can I ask who drew it?

Saludos, Haru

[krisslanza]

that actually made me smile with glee, I just happen to have read that novel and wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't say anything. Neato:D

That is good right? :D
I was thinking of an opening and was like: "You know... Daniel had a nice opening... Let's go with that!"