Nanoha Fanfic Discussion [Archive]

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xris

2007-03-02, 11:50

The purpose of this thread is the discussion and provision of LINKS to any current or future NanohaFan Fics.

Instead of posting the actual fanfics in this thread, new fanfic threads are created in the Fan Creations forum by the author and links / updates / feedback can be posted in the thread here (if need be an index can be maintained as part of the first post). Pros - Easy to find and easy to spot new updates. Cons - Need to switch to a new thread to read the fanfics, may need higher maintenance by Mods.

This thread can be used as sort of a "links" repository and a place to discuss any Fan Fic projects or current Fan Fics that we're reading. If you want to post your Nanoha Fan Fic, then create a separate thread in the Fan Creations forum (http://forums.animesuki.com/forumdisplay.php?f=14) where you can post your work and update it as frequently as you want. Come back here and post a link to it.

As mentioned, feel free to post suggestions and discuss ideas for new fanfics or for comments on the fanfic itself but please remember this thread isn't intended to hold the actual fanfic.

Chaos2Frozen

2007-03-02, 17:13

So... Shameless self promotion is allowed? :D

xris

2007-03-02, 17:51

So... Shameless self promotion is allowed? :D
new fanfic threads are created in the Fan Creations forum by the author and links can be posted in the thread here
I thought that was clear.

Or you can post links of the fanfic if it's hosted on another site. As long as it doesn't read like an advert or blatantly advertise the site (instead of just the fanfic), it should be OK.

You can also post links to other fanfics (i.e. not your own) if you want to discuss them.

Chaos2Frozen

2007-03-02, 18:29

Lol, just checking...

Chaos2Frozen

2007-03-02, 18:38

Okay, three things...

1, I think I kinda mess up the first chapter, sorry about that! The rest were fine though...

2, Yes my grammar is not epic novel material... /rolleyes

3, Please enjoy! :p (And review!)

http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=3261178

Nanoha, Fate and Hayate all respect and admire Chrono. But their love ones can't help but feel uncomfortable about it. Especially after hearing rumors about him and the Leize twins ... [Chap 3: Knights on a rampage!]

Woden

2007-03-02, 19:55

Um... Can I ask a question that may not be directly related to the series?

If yes, how much should a fanfic be based on the source material? I tried to write something in the past and was scolded for "not knowing what I'm talking about"... That, and given my record on being correct these days, make me a little nervous about trying again. Kind of silly, as the Nanoha series is potentially so open, but I'd still like to ask.

If no, ignore this post.

Key Board

2007-03-02, 20:06

LOL

fanfics are what the fans make out of it,

I can write a smurf and nanoha crossover at it would still be as valid of fanfic as yours

so in other words, have fun and try not to get into too much arguments *cough*stupidshipingwars*cough*

Woden

2007-03-02, 20:25

It's so much fun though... Thanks.

Chaos2Frozen

2007-03-02, 20:43

Most of the problems comes when people write the characters and make them behaviour in a way that is unreal or ofc, something I'm trying not to do...

(This only applies to non-crazy-humor fics...)

Other than that, the rest is up to you...

USB500

2007-03-02, 20:55

Good to see a thread on Nanoha fanfic discussion, xris. I salute you. Although I didn't know we can post stories in the Fan Creation Thread (http://forums.animesuki.com/forumdisplay.php?f=14). :heh:

I'm not going to write Nanoha fanfic in the shortest time (I'm a writer, yes, but I also have real life to take care of) as I'm well aware of the risk of wrongly writing one (although since it is a fan fiction one can write whatever he/she wants to).

Key Board: I agree; I'm also aware that some of the fans will be angry when a Nanoha fanfic is not written to suit their test. *coughs* Arguments tend to lead to flame wars.

Well, that's my thought on this matter. :)

panzerfan

2007-03-02, 21:18

Damn, all of this is making me starting to cew on my pencil once more. I just opened up winword and started spewing out nonsense...

Nagumo

2007-03-02, 22:26

Heh... fanfics eh...

There are just some things in the world that men, women, and magical constructs/familiars cannot tolerate.

In this particular situation, the patience of two female magical constructs failed.

The limits of tolerance can only be strained for so long and the threat from the adherents of the 'peace through superior firepower' philosophy beating their collective asses could not make them quail with fear forever.

The names of the actors of this fight are simple: Viita and Signum.

Likewise, the cause of their anger at each other was just as simple.

It all started with an innocent glass bottle of milk.

Partly skimmed, 1 litre and made by the nice cows of Hokkaido.

Hayate bought it on a grocery shopping trip yesterday with Shamal for 348 yen.

Zafira put it in the fridge for Viita to drink.

Signum, in need of a drink after her daily morning sword practice, carelessly drank all of it.

Viita woke up late in the morning as usual, and headed to the fridge immediately to find her milk as usual.

The milk was not there, which was not usual.

“ Where is my milk?” A deadly quiet whisper traveled forth from the permanently loli knight.

USB500

2007-03-09, 03:30

This comes after reading through the first 28 pages of the "Nanoha 100-page Doujin" (yes, the title is given by me) at the image thread, and the idea of a Chrono/Yuuno fanfic came in (NO! I'm not a fan of boy/boy pairing up! It's just one of my crazy ideas for Nanoha fanfic XD). Well, it's because Yuuno was "forcibly" transformed into a girl (ohnoes he's so cute) and Chrono's forced to cosplay as a Goth girl, and I thought I could write a romance/humour/parody fanfic of those twos.

Suggestions, anyone? :heh:

Chaos2Frozen

2007-03-09, 03:54

Sorry dude, my spending all my creative juice on expanding the 'Fate/stay Night' scene with Arf :D ...

USB500

2007-03-18, 01:32

Chaos2Frozen

2007-03-18, 02:26

Lol, what a coincidence! I was about to present another one of my fics!

Seeing as how several weeks of waiting has yield very little review :heh: ...

I've completed this one-shot YuunoxNanoha fic which had some post material from my first fic ( post #5 ), but is mostly a short scene by itself...

http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=3420818

[Oneshot] Yuuno learns that in a relationship, there shouldn’t be just one ‘rock’… [YuunoxNanoha]

... Shouldn't be bad, so far no flames... (unless they're just too lazy :heh:)

@ The Sleeping Lyrical
I'm going to be bias about this, also don't take me too seriously as I don't have much experience with Parody fics... IMO, even if it is called a 'Parody', er... Maybe you should tone it down alittle :heh:?

Cause it feels kinda messy...

...Bleh, I'm not even sure what my point is... :p

Oh yeah, I'm in the midst of completely another collection of oneshots... This time I'm using the not-so-popular pairings...

First Act: Canine A to Z
(Arf x Zafira… Sort of)

Mid Act: A Couple of Fun
(Kyoya x Shinobu… You know, the elder siblings?)

Final Act: An Island of ‘SUNRISE’
(A surprise pairing…Yes, it’s an OFFICAL pairing… No, you’ll NEVER be able guess which…NEVER…)

... Stay tuned.

DSJFX18

2007-03-19, 19:53

Hmmm.. Though I don't write often, I'm planning a Nanoha fanfic. The story was originally to help bridge the gap to StrikerS, so its framework (main plot and ideas) was already developed a long while back. Sigh... Lazy lazy...

Well since I stalled for this long.... (StrikerS is about to air soon...) I'll just wait and absorb the wealth of new information that will come. It'll enable me to be even more faithful to the Nanoha universe. =/

Demon Eyes

2007-03-23, 11:41

Hmm....I thought I wanted to share my very own Nanoha fanfic.

Title: The Sleeping Lyrical (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/1/)
Note: it started because I was very, extremely, absolutely bored with nothing better to do at the moment. It's a parody of "The Sleeping Beauty", FYI. Discussion?

How come I just discovered this here fic?!!

It wasn't complete(Are you planning on Completing it?) but I loved it.

Just seeing the cast sent me sideways (in a good way.)

................................

Slightly off topic, I just wish your Shuffle! fic was also...you know...>_>yuri

blitz1/2

2007-04-06, 21:42

If I have the time, I'll do a Higurashi story with Nanoha characters.

Ideas are accepted!

Furyou Miko

2007-04-07, 04:27

http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=3261178

Nanoha, Fate and Hayate all respect and admire Chrono. But their love ones can't help but feel uncomfortable about it. Especially after hearing rumors about him and the Leize twins ... [Chap 3: Knights on a rampage!]

Just letting you know, you can't link other people to your LivePreview page on FF.net, you have to link to the story itself.

On that note, I've just started posting a two-arc fanfic that's been hanging around for a while. I scripted Mirrors long before StrikerS was even announced, but only started writing it late last year, and Smoke is a work in progress. How it works is that each chapter I finish of Smoke, I'll include a chapter of Mirrors.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3478468/1/

Plotted and written preStrikerS, so should be considered AU. Nanoha and Fate are still best friends, but the demands of work rarely let them see each other. When a terrible accident occurs, that may change...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3480215/1/

Takes part in the same continuity as Mirrors. Five years ago, the Tome of the Night Sky went berserk. Since then, Uminari city has been relatively quiet, magically speaking. Now, people with mystical talent are starting to dissapear once more...

Alavaria

2007-04-07, 22:25

Hayate no Cosplay no Dan (http://templeofglory.pbwiki.com/Hayate%20no%20Cosplay%20no%20Dan)
(Hayate's Cosplay Brigade)

Inspired by two Nanoha webcomics and the #Nanoha channel!

What happens when Chrono, Yuuno and Elio end up becoming Hayate's knights. And Hayate seems to like cosplay, traps and ... other stuff :) The fun is just starting!

*still in major progess*

If I have the time, I'll do a Higurashi story with Nanoha characters.
I fear deeply.

blitz1/2

2007-04-08, 14:48

So far, these are my brainstormed characters.

Aria = Mion
Lotte = Shion
Nanoha = Rika (Both Yukari Tamura)
Fate = Rena? (very OOC) (I might need a substitute)
Chrono = Keiichi
Yunno = Oishi
Precia (but not related to Fate) = Takano

Anyone for Satoko?

Woden

2007-04-08, 15:44

Only Vita really really comes close to fitting Satoko's profile... Would that make Hayate or Zaphira Satoshi?

I can kind of see a few of your other choices, but Yuuno for Oishi? I do agree that Fate and Rena don't quite work, but Hayate kind of does. Nanoha too come to think of it. What is your logic behind Nanoha being Rika? I kind of see it working, but I'm interested in seeing what your reasoning was. Hmm... But where would Fate go in your cast list if you change her from her post as Rena... Alicia/Fate for Shion/Mion?

USB500

2007-04-08, 20:42

How come I just discovered this here fic?!!

It wasn't complete(Are you planning on Completing it?) but I loved it.

Just seeing the cast sent me sideways (in a good way.)

................................

Slightly off topic, I just wish your Shuffle! fic was also...you know...>_>yuri

LOL don't worry; I'm still working on the fanfic (the same goes to the SHUFFLE! one). It's just that I'm currently occupied with this anime competition I'm taking part in. I'll see if I can spend some time updating both of them. ;)

p/s: my SHUFFLE! fanfic is yuri? XD XD XD XD

Kha

2007-04-12, 11:56

Hey Lyrical Beauty was from here? I died laughing while reading it! Hilarious indeed!

As for me, I just wanted to have fun with the TSAB's multi-planar-ness, as so I created a series of crossovers that take place between A's and StrikerS as Nanoha and her merry maidens venture across the multiverse in defence of harmony with big hearts and even bigger devices. ^^

The official name for the fics is "Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Files" but being a US release I used "Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha" instead. Simulates licensing see. ^^

Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha I: The Case at Warlock's Home (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3252679/1/)

"Nanoha's first mission after A's. The crew of the Asura answers the distress call of a distant planet, but soon find that their homelands may well be in danger..."

This one's a Nanoha+Magic Knight Rayearth crossover which pays homage to the anime which created the genre that Nanoha furthered. Currently in slow production mode due to another more fun idea landing on my desk.

Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha II: The Case of the Green Planet (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3482762/1/)

"When there's something weird, and you think it's a Lost Logia, who ya gonna call? This mission takes the Asura crew to a dying planet to investigate an unexplained surge in pollution. But things aren't that simple..."

Nanoha + Command & Conquer 3. Written by my friends but released under my name as they wanted to use the title. If they can stop playing the game the first chapter should be out...

A third one, "The Case of the Warring Maidens", which takes place in the Mai-Otome universe, is being released soon. This one is jointly written by another group of anime club members and myself, and we've amped the moe and fanservice of this one to the highest I've personally ever gone. Once it's up I'll post here too.

Remember to leave a review if ya read! I'd like to see what you all think too. Hope I'll entertain and not disappoint. ^^

LoweGear

2007-04-12, 21:27

USB500

2007-04-12, 23:14

Hey Lyrical Beauty was from here? I died laughing while reading it! Hilarious indeed!

hehe, thanks. I'm glad people are enjoying it. As a side note, I have updated the story with new chapter. Make sure you read it and give thoughts on it.

p/s: Nanoha was right. I was under influence. :heh:

Kha

2007-04-13, 07:07

You do not know how often that idea has actually popped up in my head for the past few weeks now...

"Ion Cannon Ready".

Lol...

"And Kane blinked. Since when did the cannon of the infidels blast pink and horizontally?"

I loved that line too! Her Excellency really can appear at the weirdest places. I'm sure the guys working on Green Planet would appreciate the Ion Cannon thoughts too. And yes both sides'll be there, and its meant to parody why the NOD (and Electronic Arts) took sooo long to come back. After all, when Nanoha wants to make friends, not everyone makes it to the handshake. ^^ The Nanoha FileS PROJECT is currently divided in increasing the omake level of Green Planet at the moment, so even I dun noe what to expect once everyone stops playing skirmish...

I have updated the story with new chapter. Make sure you read it and give thoughts on it.

I have! And it's not just you, Lone Wolf. Everyone seems to be under some spell... Caught the entropymax and other doujin ideas there. ^^ BUT I agree about Chrono turning into an evil commander. And I intend to get him dressed in goth loli soon, just need time. ^^ Yuuno's WAAAY cool! I guess if there was a person who'd do a chest-hairless Blonde-Bond-emerging-from-the-sea right, it'll be him. ^^

Now I wonder whats the problem with FF.net that I can't upload my documents into it...

LoweGear

2007-04-13, 08:36

Lol...

"And Kane blinked. Since when did the cannon of the infidels blast pink and horizontally?"

I loved that line too! Her Excellency really can appear at the weirdest places. I'm sure the guys working on Green Planet would appreciate the Ion Cannon thoughts too. And yes both sides'll be there, and its meant to parody why the NOD (and Electronic Arts) took sooo long to come back. After all, when Nanoha wants to make friends, not everyone makes it to the handshake. ^^ The Nanoha FileS PROJECT is currently divided in increasing the omake level of Green Planet at the moment, so even I dun noe what to expect once everyone stops playing skirmish...

"Don't tell me General Alexander is here?"
"No... someone much, much worse..."

:D

Anyways, hoping there would still be loads of action asides from the omakes, and one last thing...

Scrin? or no go on that?

USB500

2007-04-13, 20:56

Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha II: The Case of the Green Planet (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3482762/1/)

"When there's something weird, and you think it's a Lost Logia, who ya gonna call? This mission takes the Asura crew to a dying planet to investigate an unexplained surge in pollution. But things aren't that simple..."

Nanoha + Command & Conquer 3. Written by my friends but released under my name as they wanted to use the title. If they can stop playing the game the first chapter should be out...

A third one, "The Case of the Warring Maidens", which takes place in the Mai-Otome universe, is being released soon. This one is jointly written by another group of anime club members and myself, and we've amped the moe and fanservice of this one to the highest I've personally ever gone. Once it's up I'll post here too.

Remember to leave a review if ya read! I'd like to see what you all think too. Hope I'll entertain and not disappoint. ^^

I'm very interested with "The Case of the Green Planet". Actually, I'm not really into crossover stories, but since this involves Nanoha and Command & Conquer (long live Command & Conquer!) I'm really looking forward to read the story.

"General, our base is under attack!"
"Look! Up in the sky!"
"Is that a girl floating over our base?"

:heh:

You have problem uploading your documents to FF.net, Kha? It's normal; I often face the problem and have to use the "export" option, copy the whole chapter from word processor and paste to the document manager.

Saint X

2007-04-14, 05:29

Hi...

New here...

Dragged by Kha...

Forced me to show my works as well...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3190047/1/
(http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3190047/1/)
An alternate, fan-made path to StrikerS. A weapon that heralds the alpha and omega, devices that can make one superior in/against any magic, a magic form that is against the normal and another that is the source of all. Hidden secrets, confessions and finally the greatest battle one can have- against her own dark mirror.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3203076/1/
(http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3203076/1/)
This is what happens when i get too much Magical Girl into my head... i cross them over... So sue me...

After StrikerS, i may be doing an alternative post- StrikerS fic... using the data of both the series and the work i did.

Kha

2007-04-14, 06:47

"Don't tell me General Alexander is here?"
"No... someone much, much worse..."

:D

Anyways, hoping there would still be loads of action asides from the omakes, and one last thing...

Scrin? or no go on that?

Well exact details won't be released just yet but yes the Scrin are here, albeit in a very small presence (a science vessel with some light support for planetary recon) and there'll be our take at why the Scrin didn't bring their full invasion gear lock stock and barrel for Tiberium Wars and saved it for the expansion.

There will be action, as much as it is appropiate for a war movie, but we also decided to have omake as long as it doesn't interfere with the mood. Buster-jokes and other associated randomness still take precendence though. ^^

I'm very interested with "The Case of the Green Planet". Actually, I'm not really into crossover stories, but since this involves Nanoha and Command & Conquer (long live Command & Conquer!) I'm really looking forward to read the story.

"General, our base is under attack!"
"Look! Up in the sky!"
"Is that a girl floating over our base?"

:heh:

You have problem uploading your documents to FF.net, Kha? It's normal; I often face the problem and have to use the "export" option, copy the whole chapter from word processor and paste to the document manager.

Thanks for the support! I've a good mind to have Nanoha being mistaken for the Scrin after reading ur reply. Certainly makes her sound like a UFO ^^.

Judging from the response we should be working on Green Planet. That means I have to finish the campaign and those buggers to quit skiving off. ^^;

And one more thing:

Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha III: The Case of the Warring Maidens (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3487936/1/)
Kyla's Silvana Battle Group and Chrono's Section 6 is handed yet another task of utmost importance: Secure a dangerous Lost Logia before it falls into the wrong hands. They are the best, but can they handle the mayhem?

It features characters from my friend's fic "AlternateS", which also means you'd see me in it cos he imprisoned me in that universe after hearing me squeal "It's Feito-chan, nipawaa~~" for the umpteenth time. Not. ^^; Well whatever was the case of how I ended up there, the FileS Project stumbled upon and latched onto Saint X's fic and so Warring Maidens started as an extension of that line due to the room for maximal omake.

Thanks for the tip! The prologue of Warring Maidens is up now!

Kha

2007-04-17, 13:50

USB500

2007-04-17, 22:08

I just found a gem!

Just Another Day (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3492332/1/)
[NanohaYuuno]After a long day of showing new recruits around, shore leave grants Nanoha and Yuuno the chance to have a date at a festival on Earth.

Dun be fooled by the tag. This has something for everyone, both Yuunoha and Nanote! You have to read it to believe it! And it's exactly what I think the state of affairs between Nanoha and Fate. It's just that MC girls are more open, even the more reserved types.

As a side note, this fic could be where the homo-phillic swarm unites with the Yuuno-300... :heh:

PS: Drools about what an unreserved MC girl is like...
whoever wrote that story deserves a jar of chocolate chip cookies from me. :heh: :heh: :heh: Hurray!

x-x-x-x-x

That reminds me: since there are already two Nanoha A's / Ace Combat Zero crossover videos:

Nanoha A's OP - Eternal Blaze, Ace Combat Zero version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6KEEO8t_RI)

Ace Combat Zero's trailer with footage from Nanoha A's (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nf-NkV84q8)

I've been planning to write a fanfic based on these two videos and already I have figured out the casts lineup, assuming that this story follows the game's mercenary path:

Galm Team (Takamachi Nanoha & Fate Testarossa)
PJ (undecided)
AWACS Eagle Eye (undecided)
Rot Squadron (Vita)
Grun Squadron (Shamal)
Gelb (Signum)
Schwarze Squadron (undecided)
Espada Squadron (undecided)
Sorcerer Squadron (undecided)

However I can't start working on it as this is just a suggestion (apart from that, I still have Lyrical Beauty and my anime competition novel to worry of). So got any suggestion?

Kha

2007-04-18, 06:54

Is it going to be an AU type?

USB500

2007-04-20, 00:34

Is it going to be an AU type?

Yes, it will be an AU fanfic. I just need to figure out the kind of war our aces are going to face.

On the other hand, OMG! An update? (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/4/) And what's this? We have a rockin' Fate-chan? :uhoh:

Kha

2007-04-20, 10:55

Ah okay. How about the Belkan War thing? Seems fun. Somehow I get this image of a white-and-blue fighter in a 2D scroller-shooter that has just released a Force Bomb and the words "Starlight Breaker" flashes across the screen when I tried to think of an idea for you... :heh:

Probably you could have Nanoha showing off her 1337ness with her autocannons and Sidewinders, and then finish the enemy off with a portable Ion Cannon, only to be barked at by her tactical commander Chrono for endangering friendly fighters. ^^ As for the enemy, I don't noe the situation in Ace so I can't really say which would be good? Though u could try for a standard sortie reveals someting big, then as the wing group searches, they find that things aren't as rosy... Or we can have the 3 Aces being introduced to a new fighter Reinforce, but as they take to the skies and Reinforce grows, she starts going rogue. (Haha yeah Stealth plot.)

Oh i seeeeeee! I wanna see Nana- oops I mean, FATE-CHAN IN CONCERT!

*runs off*

Meophist

2007-04-21, 11:53

After reading this thread, I thought I'd try making my own fanfic. So I did, just completed the first chapter.

I really have no experience with this type of stuff, so now I'm not too sure what I want to do with it.

Jellyfish Marine

2007-04-21, 21:56

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3203076/1/
(http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3203076/1/)
This is what happens when i get too much Magical Girl into my head... i cross them over... So sue me...

Been waiting for chapter 6 for three months TTwTT Please update sooon

Saint X

2007-04-22, 03:41

Been waiting for chapter 6 for three months TTwTT Please update sooon

Six months? zomg!

sorry for the slow update, been pushing the pure nanoha fic and work for starters

and do you think integrating the best and 'worst' of mahou shoujo is easy?

Kha

2007-04-22, 04:29

Meophist

2007-04-22, 09:35

Can you provide a link? Would definitely like to take a look at it.
I haven't uploaded or anything yet. Right now it's just a text file on my computer.

Edit: Should I just post it here?

Pheonixfyre

2007-04-22, 12:37

I haven't uploaded or anything yet. Right now it's just a text file on my computer.

Edit: Should I just post it here?

Nah, upload it to fanfiction.net

USB500

2007-04-22, 22:07

For further convenience, so that I won't have to post updates here (unless if needed to) I have posted a blog on the Nanoha/Ace Combat Zero crossover. It can be found here. (http://usb500stories.blogspot.com/) Please leave your thoughts on it. ;)

Yukiko-chan

2007-04-23, 13:20

lalal NXF forever

BPHaru

2007-04-23, 20:51

Saint X

2007-04-24, 06:25

LoweGear

2007-04-24, 06:31

^ Or you can have more Sleeping Lyrical :D :heh:

Yukiko-chan

2007-04-24, 08:33

Well here's the the manga behind the Drama Cd.NanohaXFate:D

2 I like alot
http://www.acatisfinetoo.com/edible/nanoha/as_nano33.jpg :D
http://shoujoai.com/attach/8/746308/as_nanoss16.jpg :D

all of them
http://www.acatisfinetoo.com/edible/nanoha/index.html

Kha

2007-04-24, 12:45

Hye is there any Shoujoai fan fics around here?? I so want Nanoha and fate together.Yuuno sucks lol its no wonder he was cut off from strikers as of now,I think Fate and Nanoha wouldmake a good couple and they are officially a couple to us shoujoai fangirls after watching ep3's bed scene.

It was so ,How was your day today dear,like lol.love them:heh: :heh:

Oh dear another NxFer. :uhoh: :heh: Well there is, plenty in fact. For me I'd support anything that's in canon, but I'm still clinging to the hope that Yuuno's waiting for a comeback. That bed scene could have gone either way IMO. I'd only give up on NxY during the official NxF engagement, cos the animators decided to keep us all hanging in the air with the world-changing StrikerS. Drop by the epi threads and you see just how many question marks are there, along with the vast number of spoofs and paranoia that really should go into a fic for keeps. ^^

Alas "the Paranoia of (Mage Name)" has been taken, otherwise I'd do one of Yuuno while doing research stumbles upon Animesuki forums. :heh: I wonder when Chaos is going to bang out that second book. :D

LOL
I'm with you, we need more NanohaxFate.

There are some good fics in fanfiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net/l/2448/3/0/1/1/0/0/0/0/0/1/), you must try these:
Fate's Secret Love (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3365593/1/)
In Between (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3366780/1/)

There are more in the web.

-Haru

Ah those have great storytelling, but alas I don't agree with the premise. Nevertheless they are good stories. That's freedom of thought for you. :heh:

and on additional notes, please...

don't let the Nanoha category in ff.net run wildly into the current day state of the CCS section - whether NF,NY or whatever, please don't let it run in that direction

and on a side note, more action packed fics are a must as well...

*more trigger happiness haha*

*more worlds destroyed and more people cowering in fear lol*

*points to action related works in the category*

*looks in the web for the best and worst of nanoha fanfiction*

We already have the worst, but its mostly due to the author...

Anyway it does seem that animesuki has much control over the FFnet Nanoha fics. Probably explains why we're getting swamped by NxF. :heh: I mean, at the SG forum a local otaku club set up the opinions were vastly different.

*thinks a little more*

Okay most of them wanted Fate to be paired with them, esp when they think of a certain mana charging procedure... *pleads guilty*

^ Or you can have more Sleeping Lyrical :D :heh:

Yeah well then the Lyrical crew really has to start running faster if all the authors start grabbing them for their twisted worlds. :heh:

*imagines cries of "hanaste! hanaste!" and drools*

Well here's the the manga behind the Drama Cd.NanohaXFate:D

2 I like alot
http://www.acatisfinetoo.com/edible/nanoha/as_nano33.jpg :D
http://shoujoai.com/attach/8/746308/as_nanoss16.jpg :D

all of them
http://www.acatisfinetoo.com/edible/nanoha/index.html

Uh... I was under the impression that those were fan-made doujins like the all-influencing 4komas. :bow: I didn't get the drama cds cos they are in Jap and I wouldn't catch a word, so I can't be sure about this but, are you sure that came with the drama CD?

*apologies in advance in case I'm wrong*

------

@authors working hard: Good luck, and WORK FASTER I'M DYING OF ANTICIPATION! :D

PS: I'm trying to too...

Woden

2007-04-24, 17:01

Those ARE the A's 4koma...

Kha

2007-04-24, 21:18

Those ARE the A's 4koma...

:heh:

Yeah I posted before I clicked... Man that really looked stupid. :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh:

USB500

2007-04-25, 00:48

and on additional notes, please...

don't let the Nanoha category in ff.net run wildly into the current day state of the CCS section - whether NF,NY or whatever, please don't let it run in that direction

and on a side note, more action packed fics are a must as well...

*more trigger happiness haha*

*more worlds destroyed and more people cowering in fear lol*

*points to action related works in the category*

*looks in the web for the best and worst of nanoha fanfiction*

uhh... your point is?:eyespin:

^ Or you can have more Sleeping Lyrical :D :heh:

Yes! You must read Sleeping Lyrical! It is insane!

Yeah well then the Lyrical crew really has to start running faster if all the authors start grabbing them for their twisted worlds. :heh:

*imagines cries of "hanaste! hanaste!" and drools*

Kha, are you trying to imply something here? :heh:

Tenkaichi

2007-04-25, 04:58

Kha

2007-04-25, 08:05

uhh... your point is?:eyespin:

He just means that don't let the Nanoha FF.net degenerate until the state the CCS category is in. Early intervention policy. :eyespin:

Yes! You must read Sleeping Lyrical! It is insane!

Yes! And don't forget that you also must read Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Files II: The Case of the Green Planet (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3482762/1/)! It's going to be chain-reaction explosive!
:D

Kha, are you trying to imply something here? :heh:

Oh nothing really, just quoting you if I didn't remember wrong. :D

Pheonixfyre

2007-04-25, 08:46

Yes! And don't forget that you also must read Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha Files II: The Case of the Green Planet (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3482762/1/)! It's going to be chain-reaction explosive!

I'd read it if there was more to the story. There's only 1 chapter there and its just an introduction.

Kha

2007-04-25, 10:41

I'd read it if there was more to the story. There's only 1 chapter there and its just an introduction.

:heh: My hand was forced, the first chappie is only half complete at the moment. Sorry for having wasted your time. Will be up soon...

Saint X

2007-04-25, 14:18

uhh... your point is?:eyespin:
I would rather prefer Sleeping Lyrical to a really cliche-fied and a poor quality fic.
- and on that note, sorry for not yet reviewing- i have office work to contend to- maybe on a Saturday.

just like Kha said, early measures- two magical girl categories have run off into oblivion already.

As for my AlternateS fic, i'm exploring each possibility and reason why StrikerS is now, from an AU perspective. and i have included some ideas that spawned from just minor details from the 1st and 2nd seasons. Theories include:
Nanoha's Parents - why were they not surprised? - since they were too calm in my opinion when they addressed Nanoha's request to leave home to join the Asura during the first season. A minor bit in the OP as well may hint that 'they know, they really know'.Giving too much away ne?

Kha

2007-04-27, 12:24

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-27, 18:16

I dunno if I'm allowed to post this here, but oh well its got to do with a fanfic anyway.

How much is there to know about Nanoha's injury? I've been puzzling over it as to when it occured for it has great impact on my Files series. I've worked out roughly the injuries she sustained from that flashback of Vita's in the manga, but I lack a date of the incident. I tried inferring it from the other threads, but I realized that there's more fiction there than here. Oh the irony, no?

Anyway, any details are welcome. I just can't write without it hanging over my head...

What you see is what you get.

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that describes that incident in detail... Or any details for the matter.

All we know is that it happened when they were still Loli, and it's bad... And that Nanoha 'messed up' somehow.

LoweGear

2007-04-28, 01:21

I dunno if I'm allowed to post this here, but oh well its got to do with a fanfic anyway.

How much is there to know about Nanoha's injury? I've been puzzling over it as to when it occured for it has great impact on my Files series. I've worked out roughly the injuries she sustained from that flashback of Vita's in the manga, but I lack a date of the incident. I tried inferring it from the other threads, but I realized that there's more fiction there than here. Oh the irony, no?

Anyway, any details are welcome. I just can't write without it hanging over my head...

Considering timeline, the only thing we know for certain about the injury is that Nanoha was still wearing her first Barrier Jacket design (you can see the triangular frills on her skirt). Seeing as how you've set your Green Planet story when Nanoha got her new BJ, for purposes of your fic it would've had to happen before Nanoha wades through Ichor :D

Kha

2007-04-28, 05:52

Thanks Chaos and Lowe!

From ur posts I think that I got to adjust her age, cos Nanoha does look rather big in that flashback compared to Vita, despite the BJ. At the moment its been briefly mentioned that she's 12 during Green Planet's prologue, and given the forum discussions plus my above point it seems that it'll be more appropiate to tag the mission at 14 instead, making her 13 at the time of incident. My guess is that Nanoha would be OOA for half a year considering the damages, which is very fast compared to our muggle heal rate.

What do you guys think? Should I update the age or keep it? Because even though its a crossover I'm trying my best to keep it in canon as the early Files were meant to bridge the long gap between A's and StrikerS in a fun way that demonstrates the multi-dimensional nature of TSAB. One day, when more details come out, I might release the full File on the "White Demon Down" incident, if Seven Arc doesn't.

Kha

2007-04-28, 11:27

I just realized that I needed some facts sorted out while shifting the date of Green Planet later. Babysitting, appearances or other arrangements of sorts that would otherwise be affected by a long term callout into ichor.

Firstly, where and when was Erio found/adopted?

And did Fate really adopt Caro? What's her relationship to Caro?

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-28, 18:39

Firstly, where and when was Erio found/adopted?

A research facility, not sure which. This was estimated to be some time ,but not long, before the start of the A's to StrikerS manga.

And did Fate really adopt Caro? What's her relationship to Caro?

No evidence to prove that she adopted Carol. From the "Starting Stars", she's just her Guardian. Oh and apparently, Fate had saved her before.

USB500

2007-04-28, 21:36

Hi, guys

Just wanna inform all of you readers that The Sleeping Lyrical won't be updated until next Monday (which is tomorrow) as I'm facing serious setback with my thumb drive (it has the file needed for the update; grrr, I knew I should've used my backup drive :frustrated: )

And to keep everyone waiting, here's some sneak peek:
Fate approached Chrono. She slapped him. Hard. "That, Chrono," she growled in anger, "was for the tentacle monsters."

"Tentacles? What tentacles? Those were just cables!" Chrono retorted.

Fate slapped him again. Harder. "Saitte. Bakemono. Hentai. Sukebe. Daikirai. Baaka." Disgusted, she left for Nanoha and cried on her friend's shoulder as she flung herself into Nanoha's arms.

Yuuno, Vita, Signum, Shamal, Hayate and Reinforce Zwei pointed at the shocked Chrono. "You got PWNED!"

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-28, 21:56

I guess I should get back to writing again, since I'm currently on WoW detoxification :heh:

blitz1/2

2007-04-28, 22:11

I might write a ChronoXHayate fanfiction after watching this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf4BwesMB_M

Now to search for more ideas.

Nightengale

2007-04-28, 22:19

Has it ever been mentioned how long has Graham knew about Hayate's possessionship of the Tome? How long since since Hayate's parents died? Since when had he "paid" for her living expenses?

My examinations end in in 4 days, and being the Graham fan that I am, I kinda want to write a tragic prequel one-shot about Graham's painful decision to use that method to seal the Tome.

USB500

2007-04-29, 00:49

Looks like I'm back (thank goodness I have my backup Storage Device with me :D ). As I promised, as soon as I can get back to track, I'm going to update The Sleeping Lyrical. *impersonates Leonidas* Tonight, we'll update (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/5/) in Hell!

Now, will you please excuse me while I go and continue my bass lesson? *goes to listen to Yellow Submarine*

Err... refresh my memory regarding Gill Graham.:heh:

Erio

2007-04-29, 01:06

I might write a ChronoXHayate fanfiction after watching this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf4BwesMB_M

Now to search for more ideas.
Wow, that video was better than what I was expecting. Hayate and Chrono fit quite perfectly there. I hope you write that fiction. I'll be looking forward to it!

blitz1/2

2007-04-29, 03:20

Wow, that video was better than what I was expecting. Hayate and Chrono fit quite perfectly there. I hope you write that fiction. I'll be looking forward to it!

I believe that clip is made from this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfJKpbl7eEg

Anyways for the HayateXChrono story. I have 2 options.

a. Do it like Z gundam (they are on opposite sides) (But I need to change the A's storyline to match it.)

b. They are friends but their relationship gets deeper.

I don't know, what do you think is better?

Kha

2007-04-29, 03:41

I guess I should get back to writing again, since I'm currently on WoW detoxification :heh:

Interest ya in ah "peint" then, mi lad? *slaps dwarven belly and laughs* It's fer teh tip!

I might write a ChronoXHayate fanfiction after watching this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf4BwesMB_M

Now to search for more ideas.

*applauds the video*

Nice idea for you too. Have you got a timeline out? Is it going to be before Chrono "knocks up" Amy? Or is it going to be an AU?

I'd take b) if its in canon, but a) if its an AU.

Has it ever been mentioned how long has Graham knew about Hayate's possessionship of the Tome? How long since since Hayate's parents died? Since when had he "paid" for her living expenses?

My examinations end in in 4 days, and being the Graham fan that I am, I kinda want to write a tragic prequel one-shot about Graham's painful decision to use that method to seal the Tome.

Goodie! Hope to see it.

Looks like I'm back (thank goodness I have my backup Storage Device with me :D ). As I promised, as soon as I can get back to track, I'm going to update The Sleeping Lyrical. *impersonates Leonidas* Tonight, we'll update (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/5/) in Hell!

Now, will you please excuse me while I go and continue my bass lesson? *goes to listen to Yellow Submarine*

People watching your play has to buy insurance, but due to the high death rate of the audience, no insurance company is gonna sell one. :heh:

*Profuse Nasal Haemorrhage*

You had to! You had to!

*Tries not to think dirty*

It's a sin... It's a sin... I'm a pure and innocent Cleric... It's a sin...

*fails anyway*

Anyway, jolly good show!

Aaron008R

2007-04-29, 03:56

:D I might write a ChronoXHayate fanfiction after watching this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf4BwesMB_M

Now to search for more ideas.

Yes, please!:bow: Finally, a fic with my favorite non-canon pairing!:D

I believe that clip is made from this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfJKpbl7eEg

Anyways for the HayateXChrono story. I have 2 options.

a. Do it like Z gundam (they are on opposite sides) (But I need to change the A's storyline to match it.)

b. They are friends but their relationship gets deeper.

I don't know, what do you think is better?

I'm not really a fic writer but maybe I could be of even a little help. So,

a) If it goes like the KamilleXFour relationship, it would make sinse since Four does get the higher firepower (Psycho Gundam) in the series; Hayate obviously has the higher payload of power of the two. But if you intend on going through with this idea, please don't kill off Hayate.:upset:

b) If it goes like this, then Hayate would likely be the playful old friend who likes to embarass the male protagonist a lot. I guess it fits because Hayate does have a mischievous-yet-innocent streak in her. It would be nice.

In any case, either of the two will scenarios will do for me. I hope I was able to at least made your decision making easier. I'm looking forward to your fic!

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-29, 03:58

:D

Yes, please!:bow: Finally, a fic with my favorite non-canon pairing!:D

Ahem...

*points at self, then points at self's fic*

Aaron008R

2007-04-29, 04:07

Ahem...

*points at self, then points at self's fic*

:heh: :heh: :heh:
I'm sorry! It kinda slipped out of my mind because of the excitement. I never meant to be ungrateful.:bash: Don't worry, the Hayate arc in your fic was my favorite of the three.:)

It's just that the (hopefully) upcoming fic would have HXC as one of the main focuses of a (hopefully again) long story got me really anticipating.:D

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-29, 04:10

:heh: :heh: :heh:
I'm sorry! It kinda slipped out of my mind because of the excitement. I never meant to be ungrateful.:bash: Don't worry, the Hayate arc in your fic was my favorite of the three.:)

Lol, no harm no harm, I was just playing :heh: ...

Saint X

2007-04-29, 05:04

a quick idea nonetheless for an HxC pairing

Hayate gets in a somewhat very down state, Chrono comforts her

usual friendship

Hayate realizes some feelings

<insert what goes next here - too lazy>

---

on the note of Admiral Graham in A's:
well the mage that he chanced upon when he was young - something reminds me of that hair ribbon- someone close to Nanoha's bloodline perhaps

Kha

2007-04-29, 07:15

on the note of Admiral Graham in A's:
well the mage that he chanced upon when he was young - something reminds me of that hair ribbon- someone close to Nanoha's bloodline perhaps

OMG I didn't notice that!

*rummages through collection*

Nightengale

2007-04-29, 07:54

Err... refresh my memory regarding Gill Graham.:heh:

Gil Graham was the one who planned the "Seal Hayate + Tome of Darkness" for all eternity in a prison dimension.

The thing is that, since Graham was Hayate's financial backer for at least a few years minimum, he'd clearly knew of Hayate's possessionship of the Tome. I thought "How?" and Graham didn't strike to me as the type of man who'd jump on such a heartless even if realistic and works in a long term basis plan to literally destroy a small girl's future for the sake of others. Besides, if he knew early, he could've planned a lot of things in advance, but the fact that his familiars moved after TSAB got involved kinda hints something... in my mind, I like to think of it that he's made up his mind to use the most "effective but evil" method after it's too late...as if the Knights already awakened.

Hmm...I may write a few sentence sneak preview (( Really...I should be studying instead of doing this... )) in a day or 2.

LoweGear

2007-04-29, 09:07

Nightengale

2007-04-29, 09:18

^ Or, he may have that plan in mind, but his conscience got in the way of his determination to go ahead with it. So he gives Hayate his financial support, so he can ease the moral wrangling going about in his head, while he's trying to find an alternative. But since he can't after several years, and with the Tome already awakened, and with the TSAB seemingly not getting anywhere on the case, he had no choice but to go ahead with his original plan to seal Hayate along with the tome.

At least, that's my take on it.

And that very much happens to be exactly what my fic's about. Plaigarism!

:P

Well, aside from the fact that my story includes Graham knowing Hayate's parents...and making some of his "search for alternatives" a little...painful.

LoweGear

2007-04-29, 09:21

Plagiarism is only if I did write anything about it :P

But I'll leave the writing to you, fellow Graham fan XD

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-29, 09:22

Well, aside from the fact that my story includes Graham knowing Hayate's parents...and making some of his "search for alternatives" a little...painful.

And you know how else you could screw around with him?

Give him false hope.

...
...
...

Erm... You're brewing an angst fest... Right :heh: ?

LoweGear

2007-04-29, 09:24

Ouch... like he finally gets a solution which seems incredibly promising... only to have new information on the Tome smash his hopes into ruin...

*Ouch*

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-29, 09:27

Ouch... like he finally gets a solution which seems incredibly promising... only to have new information on the Tome smash his hopes into ruin...

*Ouch*

Exactly.

It's the stuff Oscars are made of.

Nightengale

2007-04-29, 09:42

And you know how else you could screw around with him?

Give him false hope.

You know me all too well, it's scary.

Besides, most of my fics, despite not being publicly open, loves screwing with their characters. If I ever get to writing MSCG, expect DEATH!ANGST!DRAMA!

It was supposed to be a joyous moment. They were being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who herself was supposed to be blessed with a beautiful future, as bright as the clear sky.

But it was not to be.

~~~~~~~~~

A bloody carnage. A scene out of the spawns of hell. Death...Despair...

Why? Why must this little child, who's not even old enough to call out her mother's name be cursed...cursed by darkness?

~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking...? If I destroy this cursed artifact now, she'd be free... but this...this act merely prolongs disaster... Her parents were killed because of this...

What should I do?

~~~~~~~~~

"Damnit! DAMN!"

Another failure... after another... Is there really no way to stop this? Why...

God, if you exist...why must you torment me so? Why must I always fail to protect those I love? ( The talk about treasuring friendship, and how Aria/Lotte aren't named after his family name...I'm confident he's went through a lot in his life.)

~~~~~~~~

Lotte is clearly distraught. With tears flowing from her eyes, she's telling me to stop. I have tried enough, she said. Some things just don't have happy endings, she said.

"Lotte...Hayate sent me a letter last week. There, it talked of her dreams...her desires...her future... A part of me wants to help her realize that in a most foolish manner, but before I am her caretaker, I am a soldier. I protect the future of the people. And therefore, until it is too late, I haven't tried enough."

Lotte was silent, but her resolve can be seen through her clear eyes. I never said it out loud, but I was truly thankful...from the bottom of my heart.

~~~~~~~~

How long had it been now...It is almost a decade now...I have searched far and wide, and other than 'that' method, there was no other discovery.

And with her Knights awakened...It is already too late.

"Lotte...Aria...Proceed with your mission. Begin the construction of Durandal."

I am sorry...Hayate.

Sneak Preview I wrote in 7 minutes. :D

Yes, I realize it's bad, with cheese. But give my hands and head a break. I normally need more time to filter out the cheese and make it more coherent. So, expect some things to sound different in the final version.

LoweGear

2007-04-29, 09:54

What, I like good cheese XD

The scenes were so believably Graham they shoud be canon XD

Aaron008R

2007-04-29, 09:58

Yeah, it's looking really believable there. In any case, I hope you would do the post-YnS-crisis encounter of the two afterwards. It should be quite the heartwarming closure, seeing how you write.:D

Go for it! I'll have your fic in my 'fanfics to read' list.

Kha

2007-04-29, 10:01

Erm... You're brewing an angst fest... Right :heh: ?

Somehow angst and old people doesnt quite cut it with me. I thot it was a teenager thing. Probably a tired, defeated warrior kind of thing. Just my 0.02 Velka dinars.

You know me all too well, it's scary.

Besides, most of my fics, despite not being publicly open, loves screwing with their characters. If I ever get to writing MSCG, expect DEATH!ANGST!DRAMA!

It was supposed to be a joyous moment. They were being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who herself was supposed to be blessed with a beautiful future, as bright as the clear sky.

But it was not to be.

~~~~~~~~~

A bloody carnage. A scene out of the spawns of hell. Death...Despair...

Why? Why must this little child, who's not even old enough to call out her mother's name be cursed...cursed by darkness?

~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking...? If I destroy this cursed artifact now, she'd be free... but this...this act merely prolongs disaster... Her parents were killed because of this...

What should I do?

~~~~~~~~~

"Damnit! DAMN!"

Another failure... after another... Is there really no way to stop this? Why...

God, if you exist...why must you torment me so? Why must I always fail to protect those I love? ( The talk about treasuring friendship, and how Aria/Lotte aren't named after his family name...I'm confident he's went through a lot in his life.)

~~~~~~~~

Lotte is clearly distraught. With tears flowing from her eyes, she's telling me to stop. I have tried enough, she said. Some things just don't have happy endings, she said.

"Lotte...Hayate sent me a letter last week. There, it talked of her dreams...her desires...her future... A part of me wants to help her realize that in a most foolish manner, but before I am her caretaker, I am a soldier. I protect the future of the people. And therefore, until it is too late, I haven't tried enough."

Lotte was silent, but her resolve can be seen through her clear eyes. I never said it out loud, but I was truly thankful...from the bottom of my heart.

~~~~~~~~

How long had it been now...It is almost a decade now...I have searched far and wide, and other than 'that' method, there was no other discovery.

And with her Knights awakened...It is already too late.

"Lotte...Aria...Proceed with your mission. Begin the construction of Durandal."

I am sorry...Hayate.

Sneak Preview I wrote in 7 minutes. :D

Yes, I realize it's bad, with cheese. But give my hands and head a break. I normally need more time to filter out the cheese and make it more coherent. So, expect some things to sound different in the final version.

It's really promising, but FOCUS ON YOUR EXAMS FIRST! :D I should be too... :heh:

USB500

2007-04-29, 20:17

Gil Graham was the one who planned the "Seal Hayate + Tome of Darkness" for all eternity in a prison dimension.

The thing is that, since Graham was Hayate's financial backer for at least a few years minimum, he'd clearly knew of Hayate's possessionship of the Tome. I thought "How?" and Graham didn't strike to me as the type of man who'd jump on such a heartless even if realistic and works in a long term basis plan to literally destroy a small girl's future for the sake of others. Besides, if he knew early, he could've planned a lot of things in advance, but the fact that his familiars moved after TSAB got involved kinda hints something... in my mind, I like to think of it that he's made up his mind to use the most "effective but evil" method after it's too late...as if the Knights already awakened.

Hmm...I may write a few sentence sneak preview (( Really...I should be studying instead of doing this... )) in a day or 2.

I see. Thanks. :)

\

It was supposed to be a joyous moment. They were being blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who herself was supposed to be blessed with a beautiful future, as bright as the clear sky.

But it was not to be.

~~~~~~~~~

A bloody carnage. A scene out of the spawns of hell. Death...Despair...

Why? Why must this little child, who's not even old enough to call out her mother's name be cursed...cursed by darkness?

~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking...? If I destroy this cursed artifact now, she'd be free... but this...this act merely prolongs disaster... Her parents were killed because of this...

What should I do?

~~~~~~~~~

"Damnit! DAMN!"

Another failure... after another... Is there really no way to stop this? Why...

God, if you exist...why must you torment me so? Why must I always fail to protect those I love? ( The talk about treasuring friendship, and how Aria/Lotte aren't named after his family name...I'm confident he's went through a lot in his life.)

~~~~~~~~

Lotte is clearly distraught. With tears flowing from her eyes, she's telling me to stop. I have tried enough, she said. Some things just don't have happy endings, she said.

"Lotte...Hayate sent me a letter last week. There, it talked of her dreams...her desires...her future... A part of me wants to help her realize that in a most foolish manner, but before I am her caretaker, I am a soldier. I protect the future of the people. And therefore, until it is too late, I haven't tried enough."

Lotte was silent, but her resolve can be seen through her clear eyes. I never said it out loud, but I was truly thankful...from the bottom of my heart.

~~~~~~~~

How long had it been now...It is almost a decade now...I have searched far and wide, and other than 'that' method, there was no other discovery.

And with her Knights awakened...It is already too late.

"Lotte...Aria...Proceed with your mission. Begin the construction of Durandal."

I am sorry...Hayate.

.
you know, this material could have inspired me for my Nanoha A's Combat scenario :D

People watching your play has to buy insurance, but due to the high death rate of the audience, no insurance company is gonna sell one. :heh:

Insurance companies are way too afraid to involve in the stage play, which is very unfortunate for the audience :heh:

*Profuse Nasal Haemorrhage*

You had to! You had to!

*Tries not to think dirty*

It's a sin... It's a sin... I'm a pure and innocent Cleric... It's a sin...

*fails anyway*

So do you want more? :naughty:

Kha

2007-04-29, 20:26

So do you want more? :naughty:

*pinches nose*

Yes... I mean NO! But that would mean that I'm lying......

:heh:

USB500

2007-04-29, 21:03

*pinches nose*

Yes... I mean NO! But that would mean that I'm lying......

:heh:

*imitates Dr. House and points to avatar* "While your mouth says no, your mind says yes."

Regarding the stage play, around this week or so, the crews are going to have a final meeting before the grand finale. Expect some Internet argument between Fate and Chrono throughout the meeting, whilst Hayate plans for an extravagant cosplay party for her fellows. :heh:

Kha

2007-04-30, 00:21

*imitates Dr. House and points to avatar* "While your mouth says no, your mind says yes."

Regarding the stage play, around this week or so, the crews are going to have a final meeting before the grand finale. Expect some Internet argument between Fate and Chrono throughout the meeting, whilst Hayate plans for an extravagant cosplay party for her fellows. :heh:

*scratches back of head* Aha... Hai...

Well this certainly looks fun. I think there's room for a reference in the omake-filled Files 3. Dun worry I'll credit you if I decide to have that "disturbing" video recording of the Sleeping Lyrical pop up. :D For references so far there's GaiGaiGar (Subaru beat me to it! Grr...), Gundam (lots of it), Haruhi (as usual) and VA jokes. Chaos' Paranoia would be mentioned in brief too. :D

Erio

2007-04-30, 01:08

I believe that clip is made from this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfJKpbl7eEg

Anyways for the HayateXChrono story. I have 2 options.

a. Do it like Z gundam (they are on opposite sides) (But I need to change the A's storyline to match it.)

b. They are friends but their relationship gets deeper.

I don't know, what do you think is better?
I'm sure for option (a) you'd have to write quite a lot of story. So I guess it depends on how much you'd like to write. ;) I'm sure (a) would be most interesting!

Chaos2Frozen

2007-04-30, 05:11

Okay! This is for you Skyfall.

Since you people have a habit of of leave a small portion of your current fics here as sample, I figure what the heck!

As I've mentioned before, I'm working on the world's first Arf/Zafira fic, but due to unforeseen factors, I've accidentally made it EXTRA-LARGE... (Though it's still a one-shot)

This is going to take awhile... Enjoy the introduction first while I slave away...

Oh yeah, it'll be much better had you read my "paranoia of Chrono..." first :p

Zafira begin tapping his paw patiently.

For as long as he had known her personally, Arf had never fail to be late for any appointment, by now he had gotten used to the fact that the female tsukaima is just down-right horrible at getting up on time.

Had he known what he was getting himself into the day he agree to it, he would had fought fang and claw against it. Unfortunately, he was ambushed and cornered by the not only Arf, but also the combine force of their individual masters.

They wanted him to follow her around for walks daily, as Arf doesn’t like to do them alone. Her usually company would be either Amy or her master, Fate. But with the recent troubles at the Bureau, it’s a lot harder for them to find time.

Which leads to them sweet-talking him to be her partner for the task after surrounding him one fine day.

Now, Zafira treasures this period of time he have to himself rather dearly. He considers it his retreat from his ever-crazy ‘family’ and was more than ready to outright decline had Hayate-sama and the young Testarossa girl not used the dreaded ‘puppy-dog’ eyes technique, as Chrono Haraoun calls it.

(“Ah, the irony…” Smirked Chrono.)

For future protection, Zafira made a mental note to be well prepared for the likelihood that his master might perform that dangerous technique on him again.

Not that it would actually help one bit.

Even if he did muster the courage and will power to say ‘no’ to her, he probably wouldn’t be able to fend off against Signum’s silent treatment, Shamal’s disappointed looks, Reinforce(II)’s heart-wrenching cries, as well as Vita’s spiteful words.

It’s really not easy being the good guy.

(“Ehehe- I know how you feel…” said Yuuno sympathetically.)

With a heavy heart, Zafira agreed to baby-sit the other familiar.

(“Don’t be so mean, Zafira!” teased Hayate, while the other members of the Wolkenritter could be heard snickering behind.)

Because of his one moment of weakness, he had to endure waiting in the park for the last thirty minutes, listening to crappy music played by senior citizens out for their morning exercise, and dodge children who were on their way to school from groping him... And as if things couldn't get worst, the sun seems to have purposely positioned itself to direct it’s rays at an angle that is now blinding his eyes.

“Still,” He sighed, “She didn’t have to make me swear on my honor…”

(“ZAFIRA! DO YOUR BEST, DESHOU?” encouraged his fellow knights with much enthusiasm.

“… I hate you guys…” Zafira mumbled bitterly as he walked off.)

Kha

2007-04-30, 06:14

Saint X

2007-04-30, 06:16

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-01, 03:01

I myself suck at drama, so you probably won't find any of those from me :heh:

I need you guys to help me do a quality-check if you don't mind :), I'm not sure if I've got Arf's and/or Zafira's personality right (or at least close enough), so give me some feedback...

This part Continues right after the introduction...

Arf showed up fifty minutes later.

“You’re late… Again.” Zafira pointed out. "...With a new record." He added.

“Oh don’t be such a grouch!” Arf pouted.

“I’m not. I’m just stating the obvious…” Zafira counted. But Arf was already ten steps ahead of him.

“Come on slowpoke!” She laughed.

Zafira sighed, knowing that nothing good will happen today... The best course of action is just to go with the flow and hope that things would just work itself out... Or at least be over a lot faster. Not wanting to fall behind, he quickly picked up the pace and caught up with his female companion.

“Where are we heading?” Zafira asked.

“I’m thinking of heading to Nanoha-chan’s family cafe first,” Arf’s eyes lite up, “If we get there fast enough we can make it in time for the morning breakfast meal!”

“Didn’t you eat before you came?” Zafira asked, but Arf ignored him.

“Lets see, I think we should head to Fate-chan’s school after that.” She said, “Even if we take our time, we should still be able to make it around noon!”

“Wait, why are-“

“OOH! OOH! I heard Suzuka-chan always bring Ootoro during this day of the week!” Arf rambled on. “Those things really are delicous! You should try some!”

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

“Hmm where else can w- OH! I know!” Arf giggled excitedly, “There’s a restaurant near your place! I remember Fate-chan told me about it when Hayate-chan brought her there! I always wanted to try that!”

“Arf… Why are all the places you suggested are related to food? “

“Oh, that’s just coincidental…” Arf replied off-handedly.

“Somehow I get the feeling that it’s intentional- Hey! Wait up!"

"Hurry up!!" Yelled Arf from across the road.

Thanks :)

Nightengale

2007-05-01, 03:18

I myself suck at drama, so you probably won't find any of those from me :heh:

lol, and I think I'm better at drama than other aspects of writing.

Arf showed up fifty minutes later.

“You’re late… Again.” Zafira pointed out. "...With a new record." He added.

“Oh don’t be such a grouch!” Arf pouted.

“I’m not. I’m just stating the obvious…” Zafira counted. But Arf was already ten steps ahead of him.

“Come on slowpoke!” She laughed.

Zafira sighed, knowing that nothing good will happen today... The best course of action is just to go with the flow and hope that things would just work itself out... Or at least be over a lot faster. Not wanting to fall behind, he quickly picked up the pace and caught up with his female companion.

“Where are we heading?” Zafira asked.

“I’m thinking of heading to Nanoha-chan’s family cafe first,” Arf’s eyes lite up, “If we get there fast enough we can make it in time for the morning breakfast meal!”

“Didn’t you eat before you came?” Zafira asked, but Arf ignored him.

“Lets see, I think we should head to Fate-chan’s school after that.” She said, “Even if we take our time, we should still be able to make it around noon!”

“Wait, why are-“

“OOH! OOH! I heard Suzuka-chan always bring Ootoro during this day of the week!” Arf rambled on. “Those things really are delicous! You should try some!”

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

“Hmm where else can w- OH! I know!” Arf giggled excitedly, “There’s a restaurant near your place! I remember Fate-chan told me about it when Hayate-chan brought her there! I always wanted to try that!”

“Arf… Why are all the places you suggested are related to food? “

“Oh, that’s just coincidental…” Arf replied off-handedly.

“Somehow I get the feeling that it’s intentional- Hey! Wait up!"

"Hurry up!!" Yelled Arf from across the road.

Naisu. :)

As expected, you retain your sharp witty writing. I'm not 100% sure on Arf, since I'd expect her to have slight character changes now with her new "taking care of children" and "Yuuno's semi-assistant" role but I think you've got it fairly nicely. I thought Zafira was more..."down-to-earth" in A's, but I don't remember him too well, but I suppose your "still-down-to-earth-but-catches-on" transition works well, considering the Knight's character development.

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

Nice touch there. :P

I am getting Simba/Nala vibes.

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-01, 03:30

Naisu. :)

As expected, you retain your sharp witty writing. I'm not 100% sure on Arf, since I'd expect her to have slight character changes now with her new "taking care of children" and "Yuuno's semi-assistant" role but I think you've got it fairly nicely. I thought Zafira was more..."down-to-earth" in A's, but I don't remember him too well, but I suppose your "still-down-to-earth-but-catches-on" transition works well, considering the Knight's character development.

“Eh, Arf…” Zafira nudge her with his nose.

Nice touch there. :P

Don't worry, I had this in my head before StrikerS came out, so whatever personality Arf had in A's, I want to retain it.

I am getting Simba/Nala vibes.

You know why I wanted to check? Becuase down the road after 3000 words or so, I had a shocking surprise when I read my story again for the 10th time...

I had made their conversions uncanningly like Haruhi and Kyon's O_O Without even thinking about it!

Which means, this calls for an overhaul :heh:

Kha

2007-05-01, 04:02

Don't worry, I had this in my head before StrikerS came out, so whatever personality Arf had in A's, I want to retain it.

You know why I wanted to check? Becuase down the road after 3000 words or so, I had a shocking surprise when I read my story again for the 10th time...

I had made their conversions uncanningly like Haruhi and Kyon's O_O Without even thinking about it!

Which means, this calls for an overhaul :heh:

I suppose you casted the wrong VA while writing. :heh: Okay after some discussion I might be resuming Green Planet this week, provided when I doo get the eng/chin sub I don't leave with too many question marks. As for the other FileS, they've been delayed to kingdom come.

I've got an idea to do a Hollywoodized version of the Nanoha injury incident, and using that as a shield I hope I can get the script together and bang it out without feeling I'm going against canon.

Tentative title: Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha IV: The Case of 'Star One Down'

See why I said "Hollywoodized"? :heh:

Skyfall

2007-05-01, 04:48

Hm... it has been a while since i saw A's, but was Arf really this hyper ? :heh: Either way - a nice start, looking towards to the whole thing :heh:

And i think i am better at drama than anything else :heh:

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-01, 09:16

Hm... it has been a while since i saw A's, but was Arf really this hyper ? :heh: Either way - a nice start, looking towards to the whole thing :heh:

That's why I wanted a QC from you guys :heh: But base on shaky memory, I'll say that she's a very lively person, I'm in the process of trying to make her less 'haruhi-like' but I'm failing miserably :heh:

Oh yeah, I've finally edited out the wrong words being used in my paranoia fic, the story's still basically the same, just now with no (I hope) error in words :)

Kha

2007-05-01, 12:56

That's why I wanted a QC from you guys :heh: But base on shaky memory, I'll say that she's a very lively person, I'm in the process of trying to make her less 'haruhi-like' but I'm failing miserably :heh:

Oh yeah, I've finally edited out the wrong words being used in my paranoia fic, the story's still basically the same, just now with no (I hope) error in words :)

Ten years can change people quite a bit. I've different characterisations of Fate for different files, and so why not Arf? I'm sure if she no longer has to look out for the Speed Demon, she'd be relaxed enough for some light-headedness. I'm imagining a chibi Arf like the way she appears in the manga. Less crazy than RZwei, but still cute enough to be a proper chibi.

After saying all that, I've only a slight clue of how the above characterisation of Arf would seem different from Haruhi in her saner moments. Just as long as she doesn't go out looking for things to grope (as much she supposedly buying Fate's first BJ hints at such a tendency!) I guess it's fine.

USB500

2007-05-01, 21:39

Tentative title: Files of the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha IV: The Case of 'Star One Down'

this looks interesting. :)

Whoa, I was just away for one day and you guys already discussed on the next fanfic? This is relevant to my interest.

Anyway, I just updated (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/6/) The Sleeping Lyrical. It won't be long before everyone gets to see Nanoha and Chrono engaging in guitar battle.

...

Did I just say "guitar battle"? *cue of Fury of the Storm*

http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/6522/nanohaguitarce3.jpg

"The battle between good and evil never rocks like this before!" Rolling Stone

"Awesome. Just awesome." Mid-Childan Post

"Guitar battle at its best." MTV

"This is relevant to our interests." 4chan Express

of course these quotes are not for real ;p

Oh, yes. Expect massive cosplay party as organized by yours truly Hayate :heh:

Kha

2007-05-01, 22:31

this looks interesting. :)

Whoa, I was just away for one day and you guys already discussed on the next fanfic? This is relevant to my interest.

Anyway, I just updated (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/6/) The Sleeping Lyrical. It won't be long before everyone gets to see Nanoha and Chrono engaging in guitar battle.

...

Did I just say "guitar battle"? *cue of Fury of the Storm*

http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/6522/nanohaguitarce3.jpg

"The battle between good and evil never rocks like this before!" Rolling Stone

"Awesome. Just awesome." Mid-Childan Post

"Guitar battle at its best." MTV

"This is relevant to our interests." 4chan Express

of course these quotes are not for real ;p

Oh, yes. Expect massive cosplay party as organized by yours truly Hayate :heh:

Okay, now I just need a wounded Nanoha sitting in a wrecked cousin of Storm Raider to get started on the trailer. :P Nice promo poster! It so fits...

Thoughts from reading:

Alisa whispered to Suzuka, “I get the feeling that inviting the rest of SOS-dan and Nandaba Households brings nothing but ultimate disaster.”

Haruhi: Where's Kyon and Koizumi? I thought I said we'd meet them here...
Verossa: Hyuu~~! We're here!
Chrono: (Drags him back before she notices) Dang don't blow my disguise!

“At least it’s not lupus,” Suzuka replied, imitating Dr. House’s infamous quote. Alisa and her classmates stared at her who proceeded to make a “what” expression. “And besides, everyone lies.”

:twitch:

“Err… okay.” Warily Nanoha plucked the guitar and -- amazingly -- the tune came out just fine. “Hey. I think I can do this.” She continued playing the song and before long everyone started to head-bang to rock music. “This is fun. I never thought playing guitar would be this fun.”

Okay Nagato you can own up now. Oh and remember to save Chrono's ass later alright? :heh:

The transformation was complete. The EB-0 had a new look, unlike anything else one would have seen before.

“Yosh.”

She holstered the guitar strap over her shoulder. She plucked the strings. At first she played random tunes before she proceeded to play melodic tunes of ‘Love Letter From…’

She nodded. “I can do this.”

Subaru? :heh:

USB500

2007-05-01, 22:39

Thoughts from reading:

Haruhi: Where's Kyon and Koizumi? I thought I said we'd meet them here...
Verossa: Hyuu~~! We're here!
Chrono: (Drags him back before she notices) Dang don't blow my disguise!

The incredible thing is, both Verossa & Chrono share the save VAs as Koizumi & Kyon. It scares me :uhoh:

:twitch:

I know, I know. It just came out of my head :heh: You do know that Suzuka was the doctor in the stage play, don't you?

Okay Nagato you can own up now. Oh and remember to save Chrono's ass later alright? :heh:

Chrono: why does everyone hate me?!!
Kyon: why am I doing here?
*Chrono & Kyon stare at each other*

Subaru? :heh:
Maybe? :heh:

Kha

2007-05-01, 22:46

The incredible thing is, both Verossa & Chrono share the save VAs as Koizumi & Kyon. It scares me :uhoh:

Chrono: why does everyone hate me?!!
Kyon: why am I doing here?
*Chrono & Kyon stare at each other*

For a second there since I didn't see either Kyon or Koi around so I thought you were on to a VA joke of them being one and the same (like in the entropymax StrikeOut).

I know, I know. It just came out of my head :heh: You do know that Suzuka was the doctor in the stage play, don't you?

Yeah well it didn't lessen the surprise. :heh:

Nightengale

2007-05-02, 07:54

Kha

2007-05-02, 08:26

Saint X

2007-05-03, 05:36

:thinker:

Chrono is Master of Meister Otome Hayate! :heh:

we were supposed to work on that :D

*Nanoha and the gang blow up tons of schwarz slaves to the horror of those who were seeing- and those who were supposed to eliminate them in the first place* lol

hmm and speaking of the idea that Adm. Graham knowing Hayate's parents, could Hayate's parents be mages as well?

I've got the feeling that magic in the Nanoha world is hereditary- we have got to think of ideas for the parents' pasts- except for Fate- well for obvious reasons.

Keroko

2007-05-03, 06:06

I've got the feeling that magic in the Nanoha world is hereditary- we have got to think of ideas for the parents' pasts- except for Fate- well for obvious reasons.

While it can be hereditary (point case, Subaru's familly) we also have evidence that it can be spontanious, such as with Nanoha and admiral Graham.

Saint X

2007-05-03, 06:18

While it can be hereditary (point case, Subaru's familly) we also have evidence that it can be spontaneous, such as with Nanoha and admiral Graham.

My opinion (don't mark me down- i'm just thinking):

The admiral may be an instant mage, but i have the feeling (and probably some minor evidence) that Nanoha's magic was infact, inborn- ref to Adm. Graham in A's telling on how he acquired magic- a minor flashback showing him looking over the lying figure of a male bureau mage- well looking at the back, he sort of looked like Nanoha's Father.

that image has been burned into my memory since i saw it...

my current fiction work deals with such a possibility- and more

Keroko

2007-05-03, 06:36

The admiral may be an instant mage, but i have the feeling (and probably some minor evidence) that Nanoha's magic was infact, inborn- ref to Adm. Graham in A's telling on how he acquired magic- a minor flashback showing him looking over the lying figure of a male bureau mage- well looking at the back, he sort of looked like Nanoha's Father.

*blink* you think? Looks more like Chrono's father to me. Then again, most of the nameless mages look a lot like that. But even so, that still would leave a temporal fragment, as it would mean Nanoha's father is older then admiral Graham.

Nightengale

2007-05-03, 06:48

Wasn't that guy just a TSAB clerk? Anyway, IF IF IF IF (( Huge IFs here since it's 99.99% doubtful )) that guy is of the Nanoha bloodline, it's probably Nanoha's grandfather, not father.

Well, to be honest, a deep part of my Nanoha-vision always had Shinobu knewing that Nanoha is a mage, and in an atypical "hax-character" style, often stands on sky-scrapper rooftops with his sword, looking at Nanoha. You know, just like how Nanoha seems to "stalk" the rookies from a bird's eye POV. It helped that he didn't look remotely shaken and stayed calm at the end of A's, when Nanoha told her family she had a mission, apparently. (( I can't remember if she actually told them she had magic or not. ))

Besides, didn't Triangle Heart had Shinobu as a l33t sword-weilding bodyguard or something?

Saint X

2007-05-03, 07:04

*blink* you think? Looks more like Chrono's father to me. Then again, most of the nameless mages look a lot like that. But even so, that still would leave a temporal fragment, as it would mean Nanoha's father is older then admiral Graham.

if that's the father- we all know too well the dangers of travel between dimensions- maybe one can end up in the past or future but only a limited number of years

oh woe us normal humans who couldn't even understand physics

if that's the grandfather, i can agree as well.

and regarding some fanart at the fanart thread, esp. the picture of Nanoha's mother and Fate's (step)mother together (Momoko and Lindy) (well can i type mother?) gave me more fanfiction ideas.

- Nanoha's mother is also a mage... what could have happened?

and yes, the parents were too deadly calm when Nanoha and Lindy explained to them

and i faintly hope that StrikerS will answer that trivial matter

Kha

2007-05-03, 07:15

if that's the father- we all know too well the dangers of travel between dimensions- maybe one can end up in the past or future but only a limited number of years

oh woe us normal humans who couldn't even understand physics

if that's the grandfather, i can agree as well.

and regarding some fanart at the fanart thread, esp. the picture of Nanoha's mother and Fate's (step)mother together (Momoko and Lindy) (well can i type mother?) gave me more fanfiction ideas.

- Nanoha's mother is also a mage... what could have happened?

and yes, the parents were too deadly calm when Nanoha and Lindy explained to them

and i faintly hope that StrikerS will answer that trivial matter

Erm well I would contend the time-warp parting of a cross-dimensional jump, seeing that TSAB can administer several worlds at once without time distortion, but yes I'd agree if that was Nanoha's grandfather.

The atypical calmness speaks volumes... And so did Caro's calmness as well. It might just be that Nanohaverse ppl are freaking calm... Or have rather strange backgrounds. I'd go for the latter. For Erio's sake. :D

USB500

2007-05-03, 22:20

YES! My exams are finally over! Now I can get right to writing that Graham Kira one-shot fic. Haha...as much as I am a Graham fanboy, he's only 2nd to my rabid Kira fanboyism. Don't worry though, I'll get to writing the actual Nanoha one soon.

I do have one idea that I'm not sure I'm going to write it (( if I write every single fic idea in my head, I'd have over 100 fics by now )), but I find it mildly interesting that Velkan culture looks eiriely Arabian Nights, and yet the Tome Knights, seem to sport a German Medieval Ages look, along with Hayate's Meister signature... I just have this fleeting desire to make the Tome of the Night Sky we saw in A's to actually be an incomplete Lost Logia, still missing 335 pages. Yes, I have the idea of making the original Tome based of the Book of 1001 Nights, with 1001 pages.

wow, you certainly have a very great observation skill. =3

hmm... it seems the mods haven't made decisions on the original Nanoverse characters thread. So I guess it's okay to throw in some OCs.

Elise "Cormorant" Hartmann: The Fallen
Call sign: Gelb 2
Age: 17 (during Belkan War)
Affiliation: Belkan Knight
Magic type: Belka
Magic colour: orange
Device: Artemis (sword & shield)

Elise Hartmann, the second member of Gelb Squadron (5th Division / 23rd Tactical Fighting Squadron), is the youngest mage to be admitted into the Belkan Knighthood. She is assigned under the command of her brother Adolph (29), owner of the coveted Cormorant Medal. The siblings are known to comrades as "The Synchronized Wings of Evening Sun" for their perfectly executed combat maneouvres. While Adolph was killed in battle, Elise survives and settles down at Casablanca. She married to a Mid-Childan and has two children.

x-x-x-x-x

Raynold "Scavenger" Lancer: The Messenger of Death
Call sign: Schwarze 1
Age: 30
Affilitiation: Belkan Knight
Magic Type: Belka
Magic colour: blood red
Device: Schwarze Flamme (rapier)

Raynold Lancer, also known as The Vulture. Leader of Schwarze Squadron (13th Night Reconnaissance Division / 6th Special Operation Squadron). He and his team-mates are universally known as The Scavengers, and feared and hated for their unconditional clearance to engage friendly units if they try to run away from combat. Investigations are still being done into war crimes committed by the members of the squadron, and many members are still missing. After the way, Raynold Lancer becomes a fugitive, fleeing from punishment for the crimes he committed.

x-x-x-x-x

Eleanor "Albatross" Burgundy: "The Eternal 2nd Lieutenant"
Call sign: Schnee 1
Age: 24
Affiliation: Belkan Knight
Magic Type: Belka
Magic colour: white
Device: Weißer Giftzahn (zanbatou)

Eleanor Burgundy, Belkan Knighthood's leading ace, is the leader of Schee Squadron (22nd Division / 4th Tactical Fighting Squadron). Never liking to belong to a specific faction, Eleanor is still a 2nd Lieutenant despite her skill and experience. Never interested in promotion or awards, Eleanor's only loves are flight and combat. Because of this she is nicknamed "The Eternal 2nd Lieutenant". Like any Belkan ace, she is highly respected and her wingmen are fiercely loyal to her cause. After she got shot down, Eleanor walks to the nearest base and quits the armed force soon after. After the war she moves to North Mid-Childa (formerly South Belka) and becomes an instructor for a wizardry school.

Can you notice the automobile reference? ;)

Kha

2007-05-03, 23:52

wow, you certainly have a very great observation skill. =3

hmm... it seems the mods haven't made decisions on the original Nanoverse characters thread. So I guess it's okay to throw in some OCs.

Elise "Cormorant" Hartmann: The Fallen
Call sign: Gelb 2
Age: 17 (during Belkan War)
Affiliation: Belkan Knight
Magic type: Belka
Magic colour: orange
Device: Artemis (sword & shield)

Elise Hartmann, the second member of Gelb Squadron (5th Division / 23rd Tactical Fighting Squadron), is the youngest mage to be admitted into the Belkan Knighthood. She is assigned under the command of her brother Adolph (29), owner of the coveted Cormorant Medal. The siblings are known to comrades as "The Synchronized Wings of Evening Sun" for their perfectly executed combat maneouvres. While Adolph was killed in battle, Elise survives and settles down at Casablanca. She married to a Mid-Childan and has two children.

x-x-x-x-x

Raynold "Scavenger" Lancer: The Messenger of Death
Call sign: Schwarze 1
Age: 30
Affilitiation: Belkan Knight
Magic Type: Belka
Magic colour: blood red
Device: Schwarze Flamme (rapier)

Raynold Lancer, also known as The Vulture. Leader of Schwarze Squadron (13th Night Reconnaissance Division / 6th Special Operation Squadron). He and his team-mates are universally known as The Scavengers, and feared and hated for their unconditional clearance to engage friendly units if they try to run away from combat. Investigations are still being done into war crimes committed by the members of the squadron, and many members are still missing. After the way, Raynold Lancer becomes a fugitive, fleeing from punishment for the crimes he committed.

x-x-x-x-x

Eleanor "Albatross" Burgundy: "The Eternal 2nd Lieutenant"
Call sign: Schnee 1
Age: 24
Affiliation: Belkan Knight
Magic Type: Belka
Magic colour: white
Device: Weißer Giftzahn (zanbatou)

Eleanor Burgundy, Belkan Knighthood's leading ace, is the leader of Schee Squadron (22nd Division / 4th Tactical Fighting Squadron). Never liking to belong to a specific faction, Eleanor is still a 2nd Lieutenant despite her skill and experience. Never interested in promotion or awards, Eleanor's only loves are flight and combat. Because of this she is nicknamed "The Eternal 2nd Lieutenant". Like any Belkan ace, she is highly respected and her wingmen are fiercely loyal to her cause. After she got shot down, Eleanor walks to the nearest base and quits the armed force soon after. After the war she moves to North Mid-Childa (formerly South Belka) and becomes an instructor for a wizardry school.

Can you notice the automobile reference? ;)

Haha... I did. It's pretty subtle, almost missed it.

Nightengale

2007-05-04, 08:33

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-04, 08:39

Since it's not going to happen anything soon... Just go for a Hot spring fic...

How could anybody go wrong with that :) ?

Kha

2007-05-04, 08:53

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521856/1/

Yay. My Graham angst-one shot ficcy, Sacrifice is done.

Didn't exactly turn out how I originally wanted it to be, with added characters, pacing issues, whatnot but I suppose that's proof that I still have wayyys to go before I'm a decent writer. Anyway, it'd help...if you could read it and review it there. Yeah. :P

Now...what next? I'm leaning towards writing The True Velkan Story(tentative lame title) next, but I'm not so sure either, due to it's sappiness and I suck at writing romance + war, since it's pretty much a Romeo x Juliet type of story in a pseudo Crusades War/Arabian Nights/Old German setting.

spoiler : Juliet = Reinforce. :{

Sacrifice was good. Everything in the right places, with a new insight to Graham that no one has seen before. It's probably me that I wasn't able to be absorbed into the story, but then again for a oneshot its nicely paced and not too soapy. If ya could write an all-absorbing fic I'd tell you to put that pen down and go write a light novel!

I suggest "Princess of the Night Sky" as a title. And you'll never know until you tried.

From my design notes, I made Reinforce's living name Reina Heilinger, master of the blue hound Zafira, before she and her faithful companion was cursed to walk the planet dragging countless people into living Hell for all eternity. You could use that name if you want.

Since it's not going to happen anything soon... Just go for a Hot spring fic...

How could anybody go wrong with that :) ?

Indeed that has yet to show up in FF.net but erm try to abstain from yuri please... :heh:

LoweGear

2007-05-04, 15:05

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521856/1/

Yay. My Graham angst-one shot ficcy, Sacrifice is done.

Views:

I must say, this should be one of the top fics in all of fanfiction out there... without being overly melodramatic, you convey a sense of desperation and pain wrought about by the Tome on poor Graham...

Nice bits on the Yagamis and that Chief of Police, and you even managed to squeeze Durandal in, nice.

Two thumbs up. :D

USB500

2007-05-04, 21:25

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521856/1/

Yay. My Graham angst-one shot ficcy, Sacrifice is done.

*using the same comment on FF.net I posted...*

This story is perfect. It is beautiful I'm at loss of words to express my astonishment. I don't know what else I should say here, buddy. Great job!

*hands over triple jar of cookies *

:D

Hmm... that reminds me to do a scenario based on StrikerS (this is going to be implemented in The Whistling Gale (FYI, The Whistling Gale is the last instalment of the Heart of Melting Blood, and it continues the tradition of implementing multiple universes in one premises (for this edition, the featured series are Gunslinger Girls, Tsubasa Chronicles, Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS and others. Right now, it's on temporary hiatus as I don't have any ideas yet to continue it.

Okay, enough for the shameless promotion. :P

After expelled from a special operation unit, our main character finds himself unable to control the time-controlling magic sealed inside his body due to cybernetic transplants. He has to lead a new life as a renegade while at the same time getting over the volatile Chrono Power. As time passes by, he begins to suffer as the power starts eating him from inside out and he knows unless he does something about it, it will not be long before he's erased from existence.

Note: in HOMB, Chrono magic refers to a powerful force that can be used to manipulate time and space dimension. Since Chrono magic is highly unstable and tends to send its user berserk, only a hand of people can control the force under their will. It is categorized as an "Ancient Knowledge".

The danger of the Chrono magic is so alarming the TSAB is warned regarding its threat to the world. Three of their best agents are sent to investigate the case, only to find the protagonist consumed by Chrono magic and gains his alter-ego. They now have to fight him and try to understand why the TSAB is anxious about the time-affect magic force. They're unable to get close to the protagonist and are defeated, but they manage to retrieve vital information regarding the Chrono magic.

After the battle, our hero's condition deteriorates and he becomes terminally ill. His will to survive, along with the Chrono magic's healing properties prevents his death but he is nothing more than a soulless fighting machine bent to destroy the world and annihilate everyone he has come to contact.

And then she appears...

Please keep in mind that it will take a very long time for the story to reach Nanoha StrikerS arc. I already figure out how he will eventually join the TSAB, but I don't have anything else to explain.

Kikaifan

2007-05-04, 23:07

I've never written fanfiction before but lately I've had the itch to do a creation story for YnS.

Tentative title is 'the 5th Knight,' which should be a dead giveaway about where I eventually intend to go with it.

Gunslinger Girls huh... gonna have to read that.

Aaron008R

2007-05-05, 04:03

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521856/1/

Yay. My Graham angst-one shot ficcy, Sacrifice is done.

It surpassed my expectations. Good job!:D By the way, are you going to make a post YnS incident meeting fic as well?

Nightengale

2007-05-05, 04:18

It surpassed my expectations. Good job!:D By the way, are you going to make a post YnS incident meeting fic as well?

I had wanted to, but Absolution (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3349411/1/) captured the main gist of what I wanted to convey, aside from obvious differences in style and dramatic execution and unless I can bring about a different perspective and style to it which I am thinking, I shall not create a lesser product, which is almost a blatant rip-off. (( Actually, not really, but there is only so many ways to have an emotional meeting for the first time. ))

Besides, Absolution is my opinion, is a damn good representation of a Graham/Hayate-post-YnS meeting, even if I think the beginning part with her wasn't very nicely paced, but the last part was just beautiful.

Kha

2007-05-05, 04:53

*using the same comment on FF.net I posted...*

This story is perfect. It is beautiful I'm at loss of words to express my astonishment. I don't know what else I should say here, buddy. Great job!

*hands over triple jar of cookies *

:D

Hmm... that reminds me to do a scenario based on StrikerS (this is going to be implemented in The Whistling Gale (FYI, The Whistling Gale is the last instalment of the Heart of Melting Blood, and it continues the tradition of implementing multiple universes in one premises (for this edition, the featured series are Gunslinger Girls, Tsubasa Chronicles, Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS and others. Right now, it's on temporary hiatus as I don't have any ideas yet to continue it.

Okay, enough for the shameless promotion. :P

After expelled from a special operation unit, our main character finds himself unable to control the time-controlling magic sealed inside his body due to cybernetic transplants. He has to lead a new life as a renegade while at the same time getting over the volatile Chrono Power. As time passes by, he begins to suffer as the power starts eating him from inside out and he knows unless he does something about it, it will not be long before he's erased from existence.

Note: in HOMB, Chrono magic refers to a powerful force that can be used to manipulate time and space dimension. Since Chrono magic is highly unstable and tends to send its user berserk, only a hand of people can control the force under their will. It is categorized as an "Ancient Knowledge".

The danger of the Chrono magic is so alarming the TSAB is warned regarding its threat to the world. Three of their best agents are sent to investigate the case, only to find the protagonist consumed by Chrono magic and gains his alter-ego. They now have to fight him and try to understand why the TSAB is anxious about the time-affect magic force. They're unable to get close to the protagonist and are defeated, but they manage to retrieve vital information regarding the Chrono magic.

After the battle, our hero's condition deteriorates and he becomes terminally ill. His will to survive, along with the Chrono magic's healing properties prevents his death but he is nothing more than a soulless fighting machine bent to destroy the world and annihilate everyone he has come to contact.

And then she appears...

Please keep in mind that it will take a very long time for the story to reach Nanoha StrikerS arc. I already figure out how he will eventually join the TSAB, but I don't have anything else to explain.

Sounds like File worthy material. :heh: No I jest. Now that you've explained, get started we're right behind ya. :D

I've never written fanfiction before but lately I've had the itch to do a creation story for YnS.

Tentative title is 'the 5th Knight,' which should be a dead giveaway about where I eventually intend to go with it.

Gunslinger Girls huh... gonna have to read that.

Give it a try! :D

Boy I've turned into some sort of fanfic-ouendan... :heh:

I had wanted to, but Absolution (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3349411/1/) captured the main gist of what I wanted to convey, aside from obvious differences in style and dramatic execution and unless I can bring about a different perspective and style to it which I am thinking, I shall not create a lesser product, which is almost a blatant rip-off. (( Actually, not really, but there is only so many ways to have an emotional meeting for the first time. ))

Besides, Absolution is my opinion, is a damn good representation of a Graham/Hayate-post-YnS meeting, even if I think the beginning part with her wasn't very nicely paced, but the last part was just beautiful.

/agree. The pacing was good, the emotions were there and the ending was powerful, but I'm a little afraid that that steered the fic off-canon. Is there any indication that old Admiral is still alive in StrikerS? If he isn't, that'll push my 4* rating of Absolution to 5*.

Nightengale

2007-05-05, 05:00

/agree. The pacing was good, the emotions were there and the ending was powerful, but I'm a little afraid that that steered the fic off-canon. Is there any indication that old Admiral is still alive in StrikerS? If he isn't, that'll push my 4* rating of Absolution to 5*.

I say the only problem with Absolution was the inclusion on Rein in it, since she was supposed to be born 2 years after A's, and I doubt Hayate waited that long to meet Graham for the first time. That, and I thought the Spirit Fusion part and slight hostility part with the Aria/Lotte was unneccesary. The tension there felt..."forced."

Graham's still alive and well (( even if old, probably in his late 60s/early 70s now )) 6 years after A's, if that is any indication. I'd say he's still fine in StrikerS.

Meophist

2007-05-05, 11:55

Pheonixfyre

2007-05-05, 16:55

I can't seem to keep myself from hating my work. I did write a chapter before, but I didn't like it so I scraped it. I rewrote it in a totally different way, but I still hate it. Meh, I might as well share.

http://yourupload.com/44chapter1.xhtml

Edit: Grr… many browsers can't do CSS properly…
Looks like a good start to me. Although you'll be wanting in the next chapter to explain more about who the boy is and why he is taking on a Lost Logia all by himself without any backup.

Saint X

2007-05-05, 20:08

Speaking in the lines of Adm. Graham, i have a fic planned or a chapter in my current Nanoha work with the tentative title of "The Meisters Yagami"- probably dealing with how the book ended up in the Yagami household in the first place.

Little did their fellow knights and meisters knew that what they rescued was the wrong book- for it had absorbed the target book's essence and used it to hide it's evil content. And the Yagami family paid the highest price of that mistake, with their lives- leaving only one to bear the curse.

- lol

Erio

2007-05-05, 20:55

Now...what next? I'm leaning towards writing The True Velkan Story(tentative lame title) next, but I'm not so sure either, due to it's sappiness and I suck at writing romance + war, since it's pretty much a Romeo x Juliet type of story in a pseudo Crusades War/Arabian Nights/Old German setting.
Speaking of Romeo x Juliet, I just started watching the current anime series and it is pretty good... and I cant help but think that Juliet = Nanoha, and Romeo = Chrono! :p Not only do they look alike, but Juliet's personality is almost the same as Nanoha's.

I guess if we watch this anime with Nanoha and Chrono in mind, we got a NxC Romeo-Juliet-style animated fanfic! :D

Of course, it wouldnt be the same as what you have in mind, Nightengale.

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-05, 21:39

Speaking of Romeo x Juliet, I just started watching the current anime series and it is pretty good... and I cant help but think that Juliet = Nanoha, and Romeo = Chrono! :p Not only do they look alike, but Juliet's personality is almost the same as Nanoha's.

I guess if we watch this anime with Nanoha and Chrono in mind, we got a NxC Romeo-Juliet-style animated fanfic! :D

Of course, it wouldnt be the same as what you have in mind, Nightengale.

You can TRY to pull off one of those ultra sappy romance story about two people from different worlds... Literally :heh:

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-05, 23:51

If we're gonna have a Romeo and Juliet story, then Juliet is Nanoha and Romeo should be........Fate!:D :D Forgive me, I like the couple :heh:

Darco_emp

2007-05-05, 23:58

If the cast of R x J is the one above, I would be galdly watching it, rather then been forced to, :heh:

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-06, 00:12

If the cast of R x J is the one above, I would be galdly watching it, rather then been forced to, :heh:

Finally someone who understands the greatness of a R x J with F x N respectively :D :heh: :D

Kha

2007-05-06, 00:27

If we're gonna have a Romeo and Juliet story, then Juliet is Nanoha and Romeo should be........Fate!:D :D Forgive me, I like the couple :heh:

If the cast of R x J is the one above, I would be galdly watching it, rather then been forced to, :heh:

Finally someone who understands the greatness of a R x J with F x N respectively :D :heh: :D

To arms! To arms! The front wall's been breached by the Heterophobes while we slept! Where's General Chaos?!

*Fires first replying salvo*

I'd rather NxY raising a family being caught in the middle of the conflict! But in all due sanity his fic is set in the past, so unless it is the funky Nanoha-to-Signum F/SN theory there's no way that's happening! RAWR!

Erio

2007-05-06, 00:33

Finally someone who understands the greatness of a R x J with F x N respectively :D :heh: :D
I'll forgive you guys, as I read the fanfic 6th Division by Satashi (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/1/) today, and this line... (Dont read if you pretend to read the fanfic)

“I bit my lip too,” Nanoha cooed, taking a step closer to her and looking up at the taller woman with a cute expression. “Kiss me there too?”
...left me like this:
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/3114/hayate12426rp8.jpg

@_@ Wow... its getting hot in here again...

If you're a NxF lover, read it!

*DISCLAIMER* I'm not a NxF supporter. I'm neutral to this whole conflict. Please dont kill me, Kha!!

Kha

2007-05-06, 00:55

I'll forgive you guys, as I read the fanfic 6th Division by Satashi (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/1/) today, and this line... (Dont read if you pretend to read the fanfic)

“I bit my lip too,” Nanoha cooed, taking a step closer to her and looking up at the taller woman with a cute expression. “Kiss me there too?”
...left me like this:
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/3114/hayate12426rp8.jpg

@_@ Wow... its getting hot in here again...

If you're a NxF lover, read it!

*DISCLAIMER* I'm not a NxF supporter. I'm neutral to this whole conflict. Please dont kill me, Kha!!

:twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch:

I read it too, and I went like WHAAAAAAAT?! But to be fair it was good writing, but not my taste of subject...

Nightengale

2007-05-06, 01:20

My R x J-ish possible fanfic idea has nothing to do with N x F, and nothing I write will ever. Write your own if you want.

Anyway, I've semi-decided that I may write that one, but I'm not sure when. I've got the title down though officially this time as ~Velkan AtaraXia Romance~

Name: Saga
Nickname: Saladin; Shâhanshâh
Age: 19
Affiliation: Kruez; Velkan Knight; Eran/Supreme General of the Kruez Knights
Magic type: Velka
Magic colour: Gray
Device: Schwertkreuz Null (Hayate's device)
Mage Rank: SS

Saga, one of the newer recruits thrusted into the horrific Velkan civil-war, under the banner of Kruez, as he was sold out by his fellow neighbours in his rural village in an era where every mage has to fight for his/her lord, with no questions asked. A realistic idealist, he fights simply because he doesn't want to die, and due to his natural talent, leadership capabilities, he unwillingly rose to being the general of the entire Kruez Knights, when all he wanted was to be a writer.

x-x-x-x-x

Name: Isdera Saleen
Nickname: Silver Wind
Age: 27
Affiliation: Kruez; Velkan Knight; Marzban/Sword Knight General of the Kruez Knights
Magic type: Velka
Magic colour: Crimson
Device: Zulfiqar (Sword) /None
Mage Rank: B+ (S)

Isdera Saleen, former Private in the Kruez Knights due to his inability to fly and regular output raw magic, which is because of his damaged Linker Core which prevents him from ever being able to fly. However, he recompensates his flight inability for his superb mastery of wind elemental, to the extent where he doesn't remotely need any power to release wind-based magic, which allows him to glide in the air and acts as a different form of BJ, alongside his mastery of the sword, which went noticed by Saga, and soon became the Sword Knight General. However, behind that shroud of apparent weakness hides a magical capabilty that only he possess...

x-x-x-x-x

Name: Tiara (false name)
Nickname: Princess of the Night Sky
Age: ?? (( looks 20-ish ))
Affiliation: Shwarz; Velkan Knight; Princess of the Shwarz, the Kingdom of the Night Sky
Magic type: Velka
Magic colour: White/Black
Device: None
Mage Rank: SSS

Reinforce back when she was mortal.

Naturally, Signum, and the rest are affiliated with the Shwarz, while the other unnamed characters are with Kruez.

Erio

2007-05-06, 01:53

Nightengale

2007-05-06, 06:39

Heh...I'm still undecided on which POV I'm going for. If it's 1st person, just like Sacrifice and Acceptance, I'm thinking of dual-perspective where it jumps from Reinforce and Saga respectively, telling their side of the star-crossed romance in a civil-war thing. If it's 3rd person, then it varies depending on the importance of various events.

I'm also thinking on adding bits like how Signum got her nickname and such, along with how non of the Knights seem to have family names, or something like that. Well, the reason I'm a little torn on this though, is because putting aside the fact that it's one of my more "hard-on epic-ish" fic behind the super epic SEED fic I've been planning for one year now and my own original Escaflowne-ish story I want to write if I become an author in the future, I don't like it if I can't convey it the way I really want. One-shots or stuff like that are okay, but if long fics get draggy, it gets boring. Not to mention I actually planned the sequel for this, long before I actually planned this. Ironic, isn't it?

Just like Meophist, I too can't seem to not hate or dislike my works to a certain extent. There's always that voice in the back of your head that tells you that it could've written much better, but for some reason, you can't, and feels that "urgh" at your product.

Besides, I had this dream just hours ago in my afternoon nap that I really want to write it out, where all the self-proclaimed fathers of the main characters from different anime universe ask to meet their daughters and sons, like Shishio Guy being Subaru's father, or Hiei being Caro's father, and Zengar being Fate's father and crazy stuff like that. :P

Saint X

2007-05-06, 06:47

BPHaru

2007-05-06, 09:26

I'll forgive you guys, as I read the fanfic 6th Division by Satashi (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/1/) today, and this line... (Dont read if you pretend to read the fanfic)

“I bit my lip too,” Nanoha cooed, taking a step closer to her and looking up at the taller woman with a cute expression. “Kiss me there too?”
...left me like this:
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/3114/hayate12426rp8.jpg

@_@ Wow... its getting hot in here again...

If you're a NxF lover, read it!

That's because is a fic written by Satashi, I have read them all, all his fics are very very good, my favorite is Ruby Eyes (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3513034/1/), is so touching and sweet.
If you don't like FxN, you must read Ruby Eyes, it will convert you XD

Author link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/38119/

The best author ever!

-Haru

Woden

2007-05-06, 09:42

Wow, I don't think I've ever been intimidated by the content of fanfiction section before...

*Considers reconsidering*

LoweGear

2007-05-06, 10:06

Besides, I had this dream just hours ago in my afternoon nap that I really want to write it out, where all the self-proclaimed fathers of the main characters from different anime universe ask to meet their daughters and sons, like Shishio Guy being Subaru's father, or Hiei being Caro's father, and Zengar being Fate's father and crazy stuff like that. :P

If somebody doesn't write that, then nobody will XD Although in-story who says it hasn't already happened with th TSAB jumping around universes and so? :D

Kha

2007-05-06, 11:37

Besides, I had this dream just hours ago in my afternoon nap that I really want to write it out, where all the self-proclaimed fathers of the main characters from different anime universe ask to meet their daughters and sons, like Shishio Guy being Subaru's father, or Hiei being Caro's father, and Zengar being Fate's father and crazy stuff like that. :P

Sure sounds like more FileS material.

I'd say Kaiba fathered Teana!
And Genya really is Yugi's third soul! :heh:

I wonder who Yuuno's daddy was...

Funny. One man had a dream, a dream of-- whatever. It's almost as infectious as Martin Luther King's.

Meophist

2007-05-06, 16:11

I finished chapter 2(and hate it as usual), and I put everything into one file while fixing the CSS. Tell me what you think:
http://yourupload.com/29story.xhtml

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-06, 16:21

That's because is a fic written by Satashi, I have read them all, all his fics are very very good, my favorite is Ruby Eyes (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3513034/1/), is so touching and sweet.
If you don't like FxN, you must read Ruby Eyes, it will convert you XD

Author link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/38119/

The best author ever!

-Haru

Amen! Idk, I like all his stories and I'm impatiently awainting the continuation of Onyx Days (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521041/1/). Really cute and funny. :D :D (Definitely best author ever)

Woden

2007-05-06, 18:04

I find it funny that the author who the Anonymous is supporting also writes Yuuno x Nanoha.

Kha

2007-05-06, 20:06

Amen! Idk, I like all his stories and I'm impatiently awainting the continuation of Onyx Days (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521041/1/). Really cute and funny. :D :D (Definitely best author ever)

Yeah Satashi did one for NxY, and it was soo funnily inneudoish that its rather in canon. His other writings were just fandom extensions, like my NxY gets sometimes.

USB500

2007-05-06, 20:54

Sounds like File worthy material. :heh: No I jest. Now that you've explained, get started we're right behind ya. :D
.

Hehe, thanks ^__^

That's because is a fic written by Satashi, I have read them all, all his fics are very very good, my favorite is Ruby Eyes (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3513034/1/), is so touching and sweet.
If you don't like FxN, you must read Ruby Eyes, it will convert you XD

Author link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/38119/

The best author ever!

-Haru
hmm... I better take a look on his stories. Looks promising so far, the stories.

edit: updated my fanfic Blog (http://usb500stories.blogspot.com/) with original Nanoha A's Combat characters.

Timeless Enigma

2007-05-07, 03:16

Kha

2007-05-07, 04:11

Saint X

2007-05-07, 05:04

I'm working on a character for a possible Nanoha fic. I might post it later on. Be advised that if I actually get around to doing this fanfiction, it will not be catering to Nanoha x Fate fans >_> Actually to be honest I don't think romance has great importance in what I'm trying to do, so on the upside you won't have to worry about some weird Nanoha or Fate x some original character fic. :heh:

action is always welcome...

just don't do too much planetary destruction and such.
---

and on a side note, how expansive are the concepts of the series anyway- in regards to its multiversial scope- well in layman's terms what other series can we cross with it and not sound lame?

---

and on another note, playing on the words of Subaru and Tia, i was thinking of also making a fic about their lives in the previous unit prior to moving to MD6 - thinking of those two doing ground beat patrol in an city wreaked by gangland warfare- guns, devices, goons, gold...

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-07, 18:10

Yeah Satashi did one for NxY, and it was soo funnily inneudoish that its rather in canon. His other writings were just fandom extensions, like my NxY gets sometimes.

I know he did. I've read all his stories. Maybe, if Yuuno hadn't taken his sweet time (ten years more or less) to actually reappear again and try to do something, I'd support 300 instead of being one of the Legions' commanders.

Woden

2007-05-07, 18:40

He did appear prior to that, and to be honest Nanoha isn't exactly the most insightful person. She's a character I can see misunderstanding an outright "I love you".

Timeless Enigma

2007-05-07, 18:42

Holy crap USB 500... are you crossing over with Ace Combat? I laughed my ass off when I saw those MADs because Ace Combat is probably my favourite game franchise.

I look forward to the first chapter. Yuuno as PJ though huh... >_> That's a cold fate.

Edit: Saint X I was thinking about some series that would crossover well with Nanoha, and I asked the question in a #Nanoha channel. That sparked a debate about Card Captor Sakura, heh. For some reason I pictured Ultra Maniac, but I'm not too sure about that.

Also, that idea about Subaru and Tiana sounds great. Could be some potential for gritty storytelling.

Name: Setsuya Amemiya
Nickname: Soul Assassin
Age: 21 (August 7th)
Origin: Kyoto, Japan, Earth
Affiliation: Time-Space Administration Bureau / Executive Branch / Midchilda HQ / 9th Investigative Unit "INVIX" (pronounced “Inviz”)
Position: Investigations Officer, 2nd Grade
Rank (Equivalent): 2nd Lieutenant (TSAB Armed Forces)
Mage Rank: A-
Magic System: Velka / Midchilda
Magic Colour: Dark Blue
Magic Predisposition: Ice
Specialty: Countering Anti-Magic Fields
Devices: Aquilo (Intelligent Device) and Sirocco (Intelligent Device)

Setsuya Amemiya is a mid-level member of TSAB's 9th Investigative Unit dubbed INVIX (Taken from the roman numeral of 9 and the INV of Investigative) which is given assignments by the executive branch. 9th Investigative Unit is not affiliated with the military branch of TSAB, however many of their assignments see INVIX cooperate with the likes of investigators from the TSAB Armed Forces.

He is notable in that he has mage ranking of A- while being a commissioned officer. This low rating causes him to be overlooked and underestimated and has made it difficult to move up in ranks. He compensates with his physicality, using more physical force than relying magic spells. Longer arias and casting times are usually required because of his low magic output.

Amemiya’s magical system is an unusual hybrid of Midchilda and Velka. Most Velkan practitioners make use of Armed Devices with cartridges; however Amemiya saps magic energy from his surroundings to increase his own output.

Advantages: Has the potential to be an excellent hybrid combatant using fast and devastating physical attacks coupled with good ranged options and defensive abilities. Excels in melee and can be an asset in overcoming anti-magic field environments and other situations where alternative methods must be used.
Disadvantages: While he has the ability to fly, doing so is straining. He is not very well geared for a support role as his spells do not have a fast execution time. Amemiya will usually be dependent on a fullback who can cast support spells at a high rate.

History: Amemiya was a victim of the final Book of Darkness incident 10 years ago. His linker core was absorbed and suffered long-term damage. This is the main reason for his inability to break S rank. Twice a month he sees a physician in hopes of restoring back to its original state. Several years ago he learned of the mistress of the Book of Darkness and harbours some ill will towards Lieutenant Colonel Hayate Yagami and her circle of friends.

Devices
Aquilo the Neutralizer
Type: Sword
Attribute: Ice
A wave-bladed sword primarily wielded with both hands. Aquilo includes parrying hooks near the hilt, a sharp point for thrusting and a hook on one edge for trapping other weapons.

Modes
Shock mode (Default): Used for standard sword fighting and excels in parrying other physical attacks and trapping weapons.
Sting mode: Mid-range energy shooting mode.

Sirocco the Soul Siphon
Attribute: Absorption
A curved backsword much like a sabre and wielded with one hand. This is preferred for swifter attacks and increased mobility. Sirocco boost the user’s magic output by collecting and actively leeching magic energy collected from the immediate surroundings. Magic output can be greatly increased over a short period of time much like a Velka cartridge (spike boost) or marginally a longer period of time (level boost).

Forms
Passive form (Default): When Sirocco is sheathed it looks like a magic staff. Used much like a staff and allows for more magic-based abilities rather than physical attacks.

Active form: used much like a physical sword. Open wounds allow for more magic power to be collected.

Btw USB... I think I've seen you on a certain Ace Combat forum before.

USB500

2007-05-07, 20:38

Holy crap USB 500... are you crossing over with Ace Combat? I laughed my ass off when I saw those MADs because Ace Combat is probably my favourite game franchise.

I look forward to the first chapter. Yuuno as PJ though huh... >_> That's a cold fate.

yes, but right now it's stuck with concepts and mission lineups. Yeah, Yuuno is going to face a very cruel fate.... :(

Btw USB... I think I've seen you on a certain Ace Combat forum before.

Really? Wait; I think I saw your name, too. :eek:

Demon Eyes

2007-05-07, 23:41

Onyx Days Ch03 Comments:

Whatto?!!

Yuuno turned into a Kakashi?!!

Arienaiiii

USB500

2007-05-08, 00:13

Onyx Days Ch03 Comments:

Whatto?!!

Yuuno turned into a Kakashi?!!

Arienaiiii

ahahahahah, so Yuuno has gained the power of the Librarian! :heh: :heh: Awesome way of depicting Yuuno in the chapter, though.

EDIT
Fate Testarossa, an inspiring photo-journalist, is sent on a journey to search for the former ace of the Velkan War. Known to the circle of journalism as "Solo Wing", the former ace's whereabout is traced to the Emian Continent, where she fights in the country of Deloria as a volunteer. Fate meets the person and explains that she is assigned to work on a magazine article on Velkan War that broke out in the Mid-Childan Continent 10 years earlier. Fate says that she is very interested in the relationship between "Solo Wing" and an ace known only by the moniker "The Demon Queen". The person agrees and starts the interview with this quote:

"It was a cold, snowy day..."

Can anyone here suggesting a suitable title? "A's Combat" sounds lame :eyespin:

EDIT: forget it. just published the story.

Prologue @ Fanfiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3528351/1/)
Prologue @ Blog (http://usb500stories.blogspot.com/2007/05/as-combat-prologue.html)

BPHaru

2007-05-08, 00:37

Onyx Days Ch03 Comments:

Whatto?!!

Yuuno turned into a Kakashi?!!

Arienaiiii

I don't like this chapter very much, is still good, but I prefer the first and the second. There are too many characters in this one, Nanoha and Fate are taking a secondary role, and I don't want a Cool-Kakashi-Yuuno involved here.

Link: Onyx Days (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521041/1/)

-Haru

Nightengale

2007-05-08, 01:11

There's nothing wrong with a cool Yuuno, since a 9 year old him outclassed them deviceless anyway, but I think that pogression of Yuuno in that situation seems strangely out of place. I dunno, maybe it's cause my impression of "trainer" Yuuno, more or less has him extending and expanding chains from many different directions in a formed of connective projectile training alongside trap bindings and barriers, that trains progressive balance more so than pulling a Kakashi.

Kha

2007-05-08, 01:30

I don't like this chapter very much, is still good, but I prefer the first and the second. There are too many characters in this one, Nanoha and Fate are taking a secondary role, and I don't want a Cool-Kakashi-Yuuno involved here.

Link: Onyx Days (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521041/1/)

-Haru

I'm sure the only way Satashi could get the workaholics to stop long enough to get anywhere with a relationship is to sick em. That's how Yuuno and Nanoha got stalled as well. Might be a reference to the romance-killing work ethics of Japan here, but whatever it is, it has stalled even the wars between the Legion and the 300 for a good 10 years, enough to get people to be bored of the main pairings and form their own ideas. Remember that group of 1 person saying that everyone would remain single? He might be the sharpest of us all, and got it right while everyone's been colored by strife...

But come hell and high-Breaker I'm standing by my beliefs. I don't intend to make anyone believe in mine; my only wish is to be proven right at the end of the day.

I agree with you BPHaru about the 3rd chappie of Onyx Days though. Yuuno was a deviceless mage that could stand up to the devicers, and so 10 years laters he's definitely going to be quite a somebody at magics. But this chap is just plain weird. On one hand Yuuno's being bloody lenient to the late-comers, and on the other he's totally referencing someone that just doesn't fit the good Librarian. Does he have to use the RH? I'm sure from all that research he'd realize that there are offensive uses of binds and boosts, like tying a person up then yank him into obstacles. Reflective shields can return the hurt, and when it really comes down to it, if he has been researching on other support magics he can go stacking boosts on himself then land one painful punch. Of course this is assuming that boosts don't just originate from alchemistry but is available as a training option for all support casters. All this was on the table but not explored, and instead the author chose the easy way out and ripped off 2 distasteful serii at once.

Yuuno's characterisation and speech pattern was way off too.

I'm very disappointed indeed.

Nightengale

2007-05-08, 01:39

I'm very disappointed indeed.

The writing itself was good, but I felt something 'off' with the characterization, alongside with it's execution on some levels. It almost didn't feel like Yuuno at all sometimes. And I don't even want to talk about the "powahs" which felt both off and mildly strange, considering Yuuno's innate talent.

I mean, even if it wants a homage, something from Read or Die (( It's about Librarians after all )) or even Kurapika's non-Emperor Time powers of HxH seems way more appropriate. Heck, even this seems mildly more appropriate if we assume he's been training outside information related-magic.

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/736/claymore09106107cz8.th.jpg (http://img357.imageshack.us/my.php?image=claymore09106107cz8.jpg)

Just change tentacles to chains.

Or was it just me?

@Enigma

You talked about bringing in multi-verse right? Technically, any anime that mildly deals with appropriation of time-space or even alternate shifts like SRW, Sailor Moon or even GaoGaiGar can somewhat be rationally mixed into the Nanoha-verse without feeling off. CCS and non-overearthly shows also works in ways since it takes place somewhere outside Nanoha's hometown.

USB500

2007-05-08, 01:55

hmm... it seems Onyx Day's latest chapter creates quite a stir among the readers, eh? But yeah, I don't really like the sudden change of feeling :sad: I mean, Yuuno suddenly turns badass? My interest toward the story was inexplicably turned off.

My A's Combat: The Velkan War is ignored? :uhoh:

Timeless Enigma

2007-05-08, 03:44

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-08, 03:59

@Nightengale & Kha

And that is why I always triple check my character's speeches and actions after each 'arc' before I continue with the story... :heh:

Nightengale

2007-05-08, 04:21

Oh yeah, I've got a question here. Have we ever heard Raising Heart addressing Yuuno? If yes, then as what?

I've got one or 2 fic ideas going through self-approval boards as previously mentioned, but this one's probably going to be the first, due to one of the Kings Yuuno's unexpected return and like my previous fic, Sacrifice (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3521856/1/), I'm planning a "Before Nanoha" first-person one-shot that kinda addresses Yuuno's finding of Raising Heart to his fall on Earth, with a cameo from Dr.Orange.

I hope I can finish it in time before Episode 7 airs.

USB500

2007-05-08, 04:38

I read it and commented on it at ff.net. It takes a while for comments to appear. I would have preferred Fate being Solo Wing Pixy, but I suppose Hayate fits better when it comes to the end of the story. But if you're really going down the Mercenary path... hm... that's kind of strange for Nanoha. I'd think she'd be a Knight, or at least a Soldier.

I agree. At first, Fate was supposed to be Garm 2, but after someone at ACSkies.com (yes, that's where I saw your name :eek: ), I considered giving Hayate the moniker.

As far as the story's path is concerned, Garm 1 is going to take the Mercenary path along the way, but I guess it depends on the situation. I have to thank you for the tip-off. ;)

Nightengale: As far as I'm concerned, no. I never heard Raising Heart addressing Yuuno.

Saint X

2007-05-08, 05:17

Saint X I was thinking about some series that would crossover well with Nanoha, and I asked the question in a #Nanoha channel. That sparked a debate about Card Captor Sakura, heh. For some reason I pictured Ultra Maniac, but I'm not too sure about that.

Also, that idea about Subaru and Tiana sounds great. Could be some potential for gritty storytelling.

Name: Setsuya Amemiya
Nickname: Soul Assassin
Age: 21 (August 7th)
Origin: Kyoto, Japan, Earth
Affiliation: Time-Space Administration Bureau / Executive Branch / Midchilda HQ / 9th Investigative Unit "INVIX" (pronounced “Inviz”)
Position: Investigations Officer, 2nd Grade
Rank (Equivalent): 2nd Lieutenant (TSAB Armed Forces)
Mage Rank: A-
Magic System: Velka / Midchilda
Magic Colour: Dark Blue
Magic Predisposition: Ice
Specialty: Countering Anti-Magic Fields
Devices: Aquilo (Intelligent Device) and Sirocco (Intelligent Device)

Setsuya Amemiya is a mid-level member of TSAB's 9th Investigative Unit dubbed INVIX (Taken from the roman numeral of 9 and the INV of Investigative) which is given assignments by the executive branch. 9th Investigative Unit is not affiliated with the military branch of TSAB, however many of their assignments see INVIX cooperate with the likes of investigators from the TSAB Armed Forces.

He is notable in that he has mage ranking of A- while being a commissioned officer. This low rating causes him to be overlooked and underestimated and has made it difficult to move up in ranks. He compensates with his physicality, using more physical force than relying magic spells. Longer arias and casting times are usually required because of his low magic output.

Amemiya’s magical system is an unusual hybrid of Midchilda and Velka. Most Velkan practitioners make use of Armed Devices with cartridges; however Amemiya saps magic energy from his surroundings to increase his own output.

Advantages: Has the potential to be an excellent hybrid combatant using fast and devastating physical attacks coupled with good ranged options and defensive abilities. Excels in melee and can be an asset in overcoming anti-magic field environments and other situations where alternative methods must be used.
Disadvantages: While he has the ability to fly, doing so is straining. He is not very well geared for a support role as his spells do not have a fast execution time. Amemiya will usually be dependent on a fullback who can cast support spells at a high rate.

History: Amemiya was a victim of the final Book of Darkness incident 10 years ago. His linker core was absorbed and suffered long-term damage. This is the main reason for his inability to break S rank. Twice a month he sees a physician in hopes of restoring back to its original state. Several years ago he learned of the mistress of the Book of Darkness and harbours some ill will towards Lieutenant Colonel Hayate Yagami and her circle of friends.

Devices
Aquilo the Neutralizer
Type: Sword
Attribute: Ice
A wave-bladed sword primarily wielded with both hands. Aquilo includes parrying hooks near the hilt, a sharp point for thrusting and a hook on one edge for trapping other weapons.

Modes
Shock mode (Default): Used for standard sword fighting and excels in parrying other physical attacks and trapping weapons.
Sting mode: Mid-range energy shooting mode.

Sirocco the Soul Siphon
Attribute: Absorption
A curved backsword much like a sabre and wielded with one hand. This is preferred for swifter attacks and increased mobility. Sirocco boost the user’s magic output by collecting and actively leeching magic energy collected from the immediate surroundings. Magic output can be greatly increased over a short period of time much like a Velka cartridge (spike boost) or marginally a longer period of time (level boost).

Forms
Passive form (Default): When Sirocco is sheathed it looks like a magic staff. Used much like a staff and allows for more magic-based abilities rather than physical attacks.

Active form: used much like a physical sword. Open wounds allow for more magic power to be collected.

My current crossover Nanoha crossover fic is somewhat parodic and completely deserving to be called 'a fool's work', but it's nonetheless appraised by the readers of the other anime that i crossed it with- well one of the original objectives of that crossover is to open people from that other series to the Nanoha world- and expect that when reading it, expect Nanoha and her groupies to completely own the enemy of the other series- often. Here it is. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3203076/1/)

Yes... I've heard the CCS notions before- we all know the advisory of "Nanoha ≠ CCS". But ironically, one fiction idea i have in the works is crossed with CCS- a continuation fic that is. Here it is. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3432118/1/)
I have placed a description and some clues as to who the knight is (okay think velka people).

About that Subaru/Tia fic, i need to watch more cop shows. ---
The detective was now frustrated, who wouldn't if you have in front of you a mafia don and he's not talking.
"Code of silence to hell!" he then thought as he exited the interrogation chamber. "You two, i hope you can soften him up- i know you bureau kids have your ways..." he then spoke to his duo.
Subaru was about to enter when Tia stopped him.
"I'll take care of him..." the aptly named 'gunslinger of precinct 6' spoke, with an aura only Subaru could feel.
Without any more words, Tia enters. She then turned off the light and after a few seconds...
"YEOW!!!" the young don's voice came in loud, very loud. "Okay, i'll talk! just don't... YEOW!!! i mean... keep this girl away from me! YEOW!!!"
"Uhm..." the detective began to wonder. "What is she exactly doing in there?"
"You don't want to know sir..." Surabu could only say, rubbing her behind ever so discreetly. "You really don't want to know."
---
Yup, Tia sure is scary....

And finally, we really do need that character creation thread. is it exists, can we have a point up?

Kha

2007-05-08, 06:39

My A's Combat: The Velkan War is ignored? :uhoh:

Ha! Gome, gome! I clean forgot! Was so busy with work these days. But a word of warning: I've not a clue what Ace Combat is about, so I'll be approaching purely from a neutral reader standpoint with the only place I can comment on being on the characterisations of the Nanoha cast.

*runs off to read*

@Nightengale & Kha

And that is why I always triple check my character's speeches and actions after each 'arc' before I continue with the story... :heh:

*nod* If only I could find someone to be able to check my characterisations. Btw, would you find it OOC for Fate to have a organizer-diary that's full of her musings and thoughts, and the occasional hand-written song or two (Cue VA references)?

BPHaru

2007-05-08, 09:00

I agree with you BPHaru about the 3rd chappie of Onyx Days though.

Oh god... Kha, you're so cruel, I'm very scared now, if you agree with me one more time the world might explode in an infinite loop of chaos.
I don’t want to die, please, go back to yourself, Kha.

Speaking seriously, I’m surprised to see you reading that kind of fic, I thought you hate that pairing.

-Haru

Kha

2007-05-08, 09:12

Ultra Meister Har- I mean, Hayate teaches us Clerics to keep an open mind. Since I've never seen the world blow up before, I certainly am open to that option. :D

There's a Velka saying that "We may be enemies, but we may agree that this is stupidity." or something like that.

Sakura: That's a misquote, Father.

On a more serious note, you'll only find that me agreeing here, for I claim this thread along with the tech thread to be my domains, and therefore I take it upon myself to be fair to all forms of fanfic. If you post an NxF here I'd feel obliged to read and rate it, but spare me if I rag it rather badly. For I'd be holding back as much as I can.

Well I skimmed really. So far the only NxF I've ever touched are the Satashi ones, ever since I found his NxY rather enjoyable. And Onyx Days was no exception, it was just that I heard Yuuno appeared so I got curious. It left me... Fuming would be an apt word.

*remembers that he forgot to read A's Combat again, and hurries off.*

EDIT: Okay I read it. It felt okay, and I can recognize the bits of the video you shared with us that day in it, Lone Wolf. (Boy does that sound familiar. :heh:) Hayate sounded more tired than usual, but then again, I suppose she's the old warrior type of character here. Being an AU, I've absolutely no idea what to expect. We'll see when things get going over there. How's Sleeping Lyrical?

Kikaifan

2007-05-08, 09:36

If people want Yuuno to have a cool attack they need look no further than Arcueid's Arc Drive.

Though I guess that's already gonna be Caro's thing soon.

Erio

2007-05-08, 13:32

Can anyone here suggesting a suitable title? "A's Combat" sounds lame :eyespin:

EDIT: forget it. just published the story.

Prologue @ Fanfiction.net (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3528351/1/)
Prologue @ Blog (http://usb500stories.blogspot.com/2007/05/as-combat-prologue.html)

That was a very good read. I have not played Ace Combat Zero, but I like the Ace Combat franchise. I think Fate fits the reporter role pretty good, but Hayate seemed a bit old. Of course, maybe in the game it was an old guy who was interviewed. I dont know if modifying Hayate's speech to make her seem younger would affect the rest of the story, so I'll have to wait and see.

Just one thing, officially, it is also Belkan (with B) in Nanoha. The Triad used Velkan in their translations because at the time they did not know the official spelling. Or was it intentional that you're using Velkan?

Overall I liked it and I hope you update soon!

Chaos2Frozen

2007-05-08, 17:34

*nod* If only I could find someone to be able to check my characterisations. Btw, would you find it OOC for Fate to have a organizer-diary that's full of her musings and thoughts, and the occasional hand-written song or two (Cue VA references)?

My bad, I rarely check in on this thread :heh: (and with the recent 'incident'... )

An organizer diary is okay, but you're going to have to try to moderate yourself on the 'musing and thoughts' section, cause... Well, cause she's Fate :heh:!

(I didn't get the reference :heh:)

Kikaifan

2007-05-08, 18:34

Think he meant 'Fate's' songs would be things her VA has sung.

I think it's very IC. I associate her kind of quiet determined character with a lot of introspection.

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-08, 19:05

I'm sure the only way Satashi could get the workaholics to stop long enough to get anywhere with a relationship is to sick em. That's how Yuuno and Nanoha got stalled as well. Might be a reference to the romance-killing work ethics of Japan here, but whatever it is, it has stalled even the wars between the Legion and the 300 for a good 10 years, enough to get people to be bored of the main pairings and form their own ideas. Remember that group of 1 person saying that everyone would remain single? He might be the sharpest of us all, and got it right while everyone's been colored by strife...

But come hell and high-Breaker I'm standing by my beliefs. I don't intend to make anyone believe in mine; my only wish is to be proven right at the end of the day.

I agree with you BPHaru about the 3rd chappie of Onyx Days though. Yuuno was a deviceless mage that could stand up to the devicers, and so 10 years laters he's definitely going to be quite a somebody at magics. But this chap is just plain weird. On one hand Yuuno's being bloody lenient to the late-comers, and on the other he's totally referencing someone that just doesn't fit the good Librarian. Does he have to use the RH? I'm sure from all that research he'd realize that there are offensive uses of binds and boosts, like tying a person up then yank him into obstacles. Reflective shields can return the hurt, and when it really comes down to it, if he has been researching on other support magics he can go stacking boosts on himself then land one painful punch. Of course this is assuming that boosts don't just originate from alchemistry but is available as a training option for all support casters. All this was on the table but not explored, and instead the author chose the easy way out and ripped off 2 distasteful serii at once.

Yuuno's characterisation and speech pattern was way off too.

I'm very disappointed indeed.

The Legion already called a truce. Why bring it back? Wanna start again?:D :D I'd love to, but I don't think people would appreaciate :heh: :heh: :heh: :heh:
About Onyx Days: I don't know, I really liked the chapter. While yes, it wasn't Yuuno-like to be cool, it's fun to actually see him outstand at something once in a while, even if it is in barriers and binds.

USB500

2007-05-08, 20:34

EDIT: Okay I read it. It felt okay, and I can recognize the bits of the video you shared with us that day in it, Lone Wolf. (Boy does that sound familiar. :heh:) Hayate sounded more tired than usual, but then again, I suppose she's the old warrior type of character here. Being an AU, I've absolutely no idea what to expect. We'll see when things get going over there.

Yes, she's old during the interview. Also take note that she's a combat-hardened mage with vast experience in battlefield (I really try to have the AU version of Hayate parallel with A's version of Hayate in term of skill).

Actually, it's really great to have neutral readers (not only for my fanfic, but also for other stories). I don't really want it to be read by Nanoha or Ace Combat followers only. Your comments are very much welcomed. :)

How's Sleeping Lyrical?

Currently on hiatus (multitasking on numerous fan fictions are tired lol :heh: ). Besides, I'm going to take my final term examination, so all fanfic works might have to be temporarily grounded. Once I manage to survive the battlefield, I'll resume my works.

Cue on next chapter: Nanoha's going to rock the world. "GUITAR BATTLE!!!!!!"

Though I have to finish my work on "Widuri" ASAP :eyespin:

That was a very good read. I have not played Ace Combat Zero, but I like the Ace Combat franchise. I think Fate fits the reporter role pretty good, but Hayate seemed a bit old. Of course, maybe in the game it was an old guy who was interviewed. I dont know if modifying Hayate's speech to make her seem younger would affect the rest of the story, so I'll have to wait and see.

Thanks. (You must have ACZ, even though it's quite old).

Hayate a bit old? :heh: I know she was, because she's a war veteran. Also, since I'm following ACZ, the interview took place 10 years after the Belkan War. So you might see some of the people growing older (with the exception of Vita, Shamal and Signum, whom I decide to stay true to their Nanoha A's root).

Just one thing, officially, it is also Belkan (with B) in Nanoha. The Triad used Velkan in their translations because at the time they did not know the official spelling. Or was it intentional that you're using Velkan?

OOo.... didn't know it's Belka, too. I thought Velka was the official name of Belka (at least in Nanoha Universe). This is good, because I don't have to worry using Belka in the AU fanfic.

Several things I need to gather before proceeding with the story (suggestions are welcomed) :

The geographical features of Mid-Childa (countries, people, government, culture, etc).
Fictional countries to be thrown into the AU fanfic (I already have Deloria where Solo Wing Hayate is currently fighting in).
List of technologies to be used by both warring sides.

Nightengale

2007-05-08, 22:34

Horrible. Simply horrible as hell. My fic's first chapter, that is.

Anyway, here's the first chapter for Before Beginnings (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3529863/1/), my Yuuno prequel story. I originally planned a one-shot, but then realized it would be a little bit longer than Sacrifice, along with occasional 3rd person story-telling, so I did a little bit of restructuring. Do give your reviews.

Anyway, the 2nd chapter shouldn't take too long to write, and it'd be Yuuno-POV from there, along with his finding of Raising Heart, so on.

@USB, I've reviewed your Ace Combat. Twas a decent read, but like Kha to my Sacrifice, there was something that wasn't pulling me to it.

Erio

2007-05-08, 23:24

Horrible. Simply horrible as hell. My fic's first chapter, that is.
Haha, sounds like it will be a fun read. I'll check it out in a bit.

@USB, I've reviewed your Ace Combat. Twas a decent read, but like Kha to my Sacrifice, there was something that wasn't pulling me to it.
Hmm. Maybe its because I like this type of game. I instantly imagined the scenery and the house... that was pretty sweet... well, for me. :heh:

Was it Hayate that you didnt like? Surely it was hard to picture an old Hayate talking about her past.

Nightengale

2007-05-09, 07:10

Wow, I was fast. Record chapter time. :P

Well, people turned off by the boring-ness of my new fic's Chapter 1 should like Chapter 2, Discovery (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3529863/2/) better. Is anyone even reading it lol?

Anyway, regardless, I'd like some comments, especially on the 5 year old Yuuno's monologues and characterization. It felt...kinda mature, but Nanoha lolis and shotas are more mature than their actual age range to begin with, and I was trying to demonstrate the harshness of Scrya, so I hope it didn't felt too...awkward, liek Kakashi!Yuuno. If there's anything you felt was off, please do say.

And am I the only one who thinks I screwed up on Raising Heart's Engrish?

Meophist

2007-05-09, 17:37

I got up to chapter 3. Did some colour-coding for the heck of it.

http://yourupload.com/854story.xhtml

USB500

2007-05-10, 02:55

Good news, everyone. Annabelle (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=938631&postcount=11) is finally featured in fan fiction! :D

Prologue: When Time Was Free (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3531569/1/)

This chapter is basically a flashback of the event that led to Annabelle's orphanage. There's nothing much to be shown here. :heh:

Note: I'm going to stop working on my fanfics to give way to my exam. After I get through it, I'll continue where I stop.

Nightengale: I may have to read the chapters before sharing my feedback. So it might take a while. :)

Kha

2007-05-11, 12:11

Kaaaa! I'm back! Time for comments!

Lyrical of Time: I'll spare the Leonidas jokes and get straight to the point. :p

Is this part of a multi-dimensional (spanning across extra-Nanoha series) series? The choice of Switzerland was uncanny; I remember hearing of a major rockslide that buried a railway line and its station around 10 years back in the Zurich Scenic Line. They've since rerouted the service, but it was scary to see tracks running into a mess of boulders. Just my $0.02.

It's still rather early to comment on story, but from the characters thread I see that it has potential. I hope Yuuno doesn't suffer from the oni-chan-not-related-by-moe syndrome with regards to this little girl though. :D

Before Beginnings: Well so far little has happened... I'd like to see what exactly are you thinking of on this matter. Other than that the flow is nice and basically lets us see what you see. :)

BPHaru

2007-05-11, 12:51

Kha

2007-05-11, 13:58

New story from Satashi,

Category: Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's
Title: Emerald Dream
Genre: Romance/None
Rating: Fiction Rated: M
Summary: [Fate Nanoha] Takes place after diamond dust, Fate and Nanoha spend a quiet night alone. Shoujoai.

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3533480/1/

Oh god...
Posted in fanfiction.net just 2 mins ago, I'm going to read it right now.

-Haru

Pardon me if I refuse to comment on it. Not in the mood... Plus it's an M after all, I think it'll really blow my mind like those Sakura x Tomoyo lemons did when I was curious...

dkellis

2007-05-11, 16:11

Timeless Enigma

2007-05-11, 16:12

I've gotten a start on my fic, not very large, in fact it's essentially the intro to the intro.

Click Here (ftp://Fiction:lyricalmagical@masakism.mine.nu:3000)

The stuff I'm looking for and the method of feedback is mentioned in the very first part, but if you have some other suggestions, opinions, flames, insults like "this is never gonna fly man" feel free. It's very short, but I just wanted to get something concrete down first. Afterwards I'll tweak it a bit more and post it at FF.net.

About where to publish your fics: I've always used FF.net but I must agree their policies are a bit... interesting. FF is the best in terms of exposure, you could post in the Fan Creations subforum here. As you said, blogs are another alternative, but can be messy. I would publish in at least two different places though for maximum effectiveness.

USB500

2007-05-11, 20:31

Kaaaa! I'm back! Time for comments!

Lyrical of Time: I'll spare the Leonidas jokes and get straight to the point. :p

Is this part of a multi-dimensional (spanning across extra-Nanoha series) series? The choice of Switzerland was uncanny; I remember hearing of a major rockslide that buried a railway line and its station around 10 years back in the Zurich Scenic Line. They've since rerouted the service, but it was scary to see tracks running into a mess of boulders. Just my $0.02.

It's still rather early to comment on story, but from the characters thread I see that it has potential. I hope Yuuno doesn't suffer from the oni-chan-not-related-by-moe syndrome with regards to this little girl though. :D

Let me see...

Although The Whistling Gale itself is a multi-dimensional premise, Lyrical of Time focuses entirely on Nanoha Universe (akin to my Whistling Gale: Bullet & Blossom being Gunslinger Gale). So there won't be any issue of "insert-another-series" here. ;)

There was a rock-slide at Switzerland 10 years ago? :eek: Looks like the reference I made was quite uncanny. :uhoh:

I'm working on Chapter 1, so don't worry; I'll make sure Yuuno won't suffer from sister complex syndrome. :heh: Though I can already foresee fans preparing themselves with flamethrowers... :uhoh:

Kha

2007-05-11, 21:08

A random question, possibly off-topic: where should I upload any stories?

I used to have a Fanfiction.net account (and I will have one again if I remember the password), and I remember being disgusted with FFN's policies regarding what symbols are acceptable. Suddenly I found my astericks and plus signs all stripped out of the story without warning, which would be a problem with trying to describe a "Rank AAA+ Mage".

To add insult to injury, trying to do HR scene breaks (rather than rows of astericks) revealed that I could only do the default HR length, rather than specify to 50% or some such.

I don't think there was an actual explanation given. I left, and I'm not sure if the policy was revoked.

So. Has FFN been good enough that I can return there for my MSLN stories? Or is it still a pain to use?

I suppose if all else fails, I can post on my Livejournal, which would be spammy to my friendslist, but not really that much.

Hmm... From exp, I know I can't use the @ symbol. In this situations I went around the problem by bracketing what the symbol means in english. Like @ becomes (at), . becomes (dot), and possibly + becomes (plus). It helps to go around the problem, but it does affect the feel of the story somewhat. This might help if you want to post back in FF.net.

I've gotten a start on my fic, not very large, in fact it's essentially the intro to the intro.

Click Here (ftp://Fiction:lyricalmagical@masakism.mine.nu:3000)

The stuff I'm looking for and the method of feedback is mentioned in the very first part, but if you have some other suggestions, opinions, flames, insults like "this is never gonna fly man" feel free. It's very short, but I just wanted to get something concrete down first. Afterwards I'll tweak it a bit more and post it at FF.net.

About where to publish your fics: I've always used FF.net but I must agree their policies are a bit... interesting. FF is the best in terms of exposure, you could post in the Fan Creations subforum here. As you said, blogs are another alternative, but can be messy. I would publish in at least two different places though for maximum effectiveness.

Erm... I couldn't get my FTP to connect... Weird...

Let me see...

Although The Whistling Gale itself is a multi-dimensional premise, Lyrical of Time focuses entirely on Nanoha Universe (akin to my Whistling Gale: Bullet & Blossom being Gunslinger Gale). So there won't be any issue of "insert-another-series" here. ;)

There was a rock-slide at Switzerland 10 years ago? :eek: Looks like the reference I made was quite uncanny. :uhoh:

I'm working on Chapter 1, so don't worry; I'll make sure Yuuno won't suffer from sister complex syndrome. :heh: Though I can already foresee fans preparing themselves with flamethrowers... :uhoh:

I wasn't afraid of that. Just clarfying something that popped up in my head when I read it.

Rockslides occur everywhere all the time, even in Switzerland, but due to the precautions in place they seldom bury something. Accidents do happen time to time though.

As long as it doesn't transgress Yuunoha I won't be one of them. :joke:

Nightengale

2007-05-11, 21:21

Before Beginnings: Well so far little has happened... I'd like to see what exactly are you thinking of on this matter. Other than that the flow is nice and basically lets us see what you see. :)

Oh, I was afraid of my flow especially, since I felt that "the world called out to me" parts felt lametasticly cheesy. Anyway, I'm half-focusing on the OC thread as well, so updates would be a little slow.

The coming chapters are a wee bit-ishly Yuuno x Raising Heart friendship-overtones, and stuff like that. There's no real dramatic stuff.:heh:

USB500

2007-05-11, 22:51

Oh, I was afraid of my flow especially, since I felt that "the world called out to me" parts felt lametasticly cheesy. Anyway, I'm half-focusing on the OC thread as well, so updates would be a little slow.

The coming chapters are a wee bit-ishly Yuuno x Raising Heart friendship-overtones, and stuff like that. There's no real dramatic stuff.:heh:

interesting stuff, I must say. Looking forward to read it. :)

“Miata, Vios, activate.”

“Admis d'Ordre.”

The bracelets glowed. In an instant the girl was enveloped in a coat of golden brown-coloured light. She was elevated off the ground and floated several feet in the air. Her schoolgirl de-materialized and left her exposed to the air before the light engulfed her entirely.

The light disappeared. The girl slowly descended and landed on the ground. The schoolgirl uniform was gone, and now she had new dress-up: Cleric-type uniform with brown/white trim colour scheme and medium-sized cloak of similar colour clipped onto both shoulders. The bracelets now had diamond-like decorations, as well as inscriptions that read “Heavenly Earth” in French. There was a butterfly ribbon decorating her silvery hair, flapping freely to the rhythm of the blowing wind.

“Miata, préparent,” the left bracelet spoke.

“Vios, préparent,” the right bracelet spoke afterwards.

She opened her eyes. “Miata, Vios, let’s go.”

“Oui, maître.”

Timeless Enigma

2007-05-12, 04:30

Might be something to do with passive mode... might as well use my web server instead: The new link. (http://masakism.mine.nu:10480/nanoha_fic/Prelude%20to%20Prologue.doc)

Don't ask why I didn't use my web server before >_>

Saint X

2007-05-12, 06:41

AlternateS I (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3190047/1/) is now under temporary hold while data is still being routed by MCC on where to go- and it's high avail period as well...

well Before Beginnings has a cool tone in it, may point one way on how the heck RH was found in the first place, though in my fic, RH was more of an Earth artifact than MC logia- probably in the guise of a divine treasure.

my other Nanoha fic, a senseless, yet funny crossover is under hold as well...

USB500

2007-05-16, 22:49

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-18, 00:26

Kha

2007-05-18, 00:56

Okay, everyone, after a week of hiatus, Sleeping Lyrical has reached its finale! The tension is high, and the urge to kill Chrono is also high. Will our hero be able to beat the odds and awaken the sleeping beauty? Let us find out.

Click. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/7/)

Okay, one more chapter and this story is complete. :heh: I wonder if...

As usual, my reaction is :twitch: But its the fun kind. :D Now I wonder what's going to happen to Chrono next. :heh:

I know I shouldn't be jumping projects, but looks like from the OC thread the Point of Light OVA arcs are going to be my top focus once I return to Nanoha, which is rather soon.

And for the FileS project, you can guess the amount that gets done by a group of Genshiken guys... :heh:

USB500

2007-05-18, 02:32

@ Fuyu no Sora:
@ Kha:

Thanks for the feedbacks. Now I can take a break and decide on what to do on the final chapter. On the mean time, I'm almost done with Lyrical of Time, Chapter 1. It feels kind of weird, since it almost reflects StrikerS's episode 1-- oops, I said too much. :uhoh:

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-18, 20:04

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-21, 11:12

Sorry for double post, but a new chapter in Satashi's story came out today: TSAB Mobile force 6. Chapter 3 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/3/)

USB500

2007-05-23, 00:51

Not usually interested in Satashi's story, but I'll give it a shot. :)

Attention! Lyrical of Time is updated. Charter 01 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3531569/2/) is up for reading. :D

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-23, 16:48

S_K

2007-05-23, 18:03

Not usually interested in Satashi's story, but I'll give it a shot. :)

Attention! Lyrical of Time is updated. Charter 01 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3531569/2/) is up for reading. :D

Nice!!! Enfield sort of reminds me of Caro and Shin reminds me of Chrono which I really don't know why. More importantly Yuuno is in there and got 2 seconds of narration :heh::heh::heh:

Kha

2007-05-23, 20:43

Not usually interested in Satashi's story, but I'll give it a shot. :)

Attention! Lyrical of Time is updated. Charter 01 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3531569/2/) is up for reading. :D

Yay it's cool! And I see how it mirrors, but using Unlimited Blad- I mean, Midnight Carnival right off the bat came to me as a big surprise. Alexandra's characterization was another surprise because I was expecting a Saber type personality. :p

I know I'm old, and that should've been a Kamen Rider ref, but somehow "It's Morphin Time!" kicked in in my head instead. :heh:

Where's Yuuno, S_K? I didn't even read him being mentioned. :heh:

I've been thinking that Sophia might well be Alexandra's nemesis, if you see her appearance in the Nanoha CrosiS SS being broadcast in the OC thread and then catch the references... :heh: Luckily they're both on the same side.

Over all very good! Let's see where this goes next.

S_K

2007-05-23, 20:48

Yay it's cool! And I see how it mirrors, but using Unlimited Blad- I mean, Midnight Carnival right off the bat came to me as a big surprise. Alexandra's characterization was another surprise because I was expecting a Saber type personality. :p

I know I'm old, and that should've been a Kamen Rider ref, but somehow "It's Morphin Time!" kicked in in my head instead. :heh:

Where's Yuuno, S_K? I didn't even read him being mentioned. :heh:

I've been thinking that Sophia might well be Alexandra's nemesis, if you see her appearance in the Nanoha CrosiS SS being broadcast in the OC thread and then catch the references... :heh: Luckily they're both on the same side.

Over all very good! Let's see where this goes next.

Yuuno is mentioned at the part where they talk about that kid(sorry dont know the name) and how he wants to play with somebody but the main character is unconscious(again I forgot the name)

And Kha, I'd like to know what is Nanoha Crosis SS????:confused::confused:

LoweGear

2007-05-23, 21:15

And Kha, I'd like to know what is Nanoha Crosis SS????:confused::confused:

That would be this post detailing the 21st Vs Necrons (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=959372&postcount=363) :)

Sailor Enlil

2007-05-24, 09:55

Thought I try something myself (a crossover in fact), though it sort of takes the point of view of a character from the other series.

Apprehension (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3554557/1/)

dkellis

2007-05-24, 17:15

So until I manage to remember the password to my old FF.net account, I'll just post this on my Livejournal (http://dkellis.livejournal.com/610966.html).

Caveats: the story is at chapter 1, untitled, and I'm not entirely happy with it. I'm willing to take suggestions for improvement, and definitely suggestions for titles. I've got the basic framework of the plot down, but I'm expecting to change it dramatically as new information in StrikerS is revealed.

Character profiles for Ivey, Rancer, Reiz, and Nova are here (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=951115&postcount=185). I'm trying to write the story such that the profiles are not necessary, however.

Kha

2007-05-24, 21:44

For those who've been wondering what I meant about that CrosyS thing, here it is, a repost from the OC Thread:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The OP

Dawn breaks over Mid Childa...

Hanarete ite mo zutto
Chikaku ni kanjite unmei dakara

A black feather drifts out of the sky and lands on the tarmac of Velka SAR Yzak Air Base. Two gray-booted feet krumps to a stop next to it, and their owner picks it up. The camera follows the feather until Kha's face is seen, and he looks into the brightening morning sky...

[Rock Guitar Instrumental]

With a bang, the music starts. The background is a high speed running shot of MC Downtown’s skyline framed against the brightening horizon, while the title “Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha” in one line phases in. At the first drum crash, Keroko leaps past, adding “The New Velka Chronicles” in big letters under the small title. On the second crash, Hikki jumps down from the top of the screen and punches, flashing it back to the title, which has now appended “: CrosyS” to the right of the “Chronicles”.

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
The New Velka Chronicles: CrosyS

The images hangs around for a bit, then Kha’s Firehawk Stratofighter tears across, whiting out the screen with its afterburners as the last drum climax ends the instrumental.

Osanai mune no naka de

From left to right: Artei, Sophia, Kaempfer and Allison march out of the hangar and they meet their captain who greets them with a nod.

Tooku wo koto shiri sugita? Fuan da yo

We teleport to MC Honor’s Hold Air Base where the Rogue Squadron is based. Keroko, Wes and Tyco in tow, adjusts the straps on her half-finger gloves as activity goes on all around her. The camera cuts to her sealed device, which glints in reply.

Yukikau hitobito no

Blink and we’re in the Riot 6 lounge, where Shin-chan is enjoying his morning coffee with Hikki, Alexandra and Anna, who then wave at the camera.

Kao sae mienai kodoku doushite?

Phwing! We’re now aboard the “Gladius”, where Lucas, Angela, Rika and Hiro are discussing plans over a holographic war table, and Cassandra listens closely. At the “Doushite?” the image is overlaid on the left with a side profile of Cassandra’s face looking forlornly into the distance and Alex’s taking the split screen on the right.

Massugu na hitomi ni...

Shinji, Asuka and Rey in the hologram forms float behind their mother as Kaylin runs fruitlessly on the stop towards a shadowed profile of Glock in the foreground.

Tsubasa hiroge tabitatou

There is long trail of foot prints on a bright desert, and the camera pans until it shows David Brown, Bronzion Hammer on shoulder, soldiering on in the blazing heat. He’s not even bothered by the weather. But the sand shifts, and the Hammer comes off…

[Ascending music]

In rapid succession as the beat changes, Carim looks up from a video call, Kyla throws her hand out as she commands the Silvana ahead, and the 21st Trinity Optimus Velka Carryall soars into the stars.

[Chorus]

Asu e to te wo kazashita
Shinjite mite you are my precious

Hanarete ite mo zutto
Chikaku ni ite I miss you from my heart

Hikari michibiku hou e
Kimi to nara I'll be with you forever

[Destiny]
Vocals by: CHiYo
Originally From: Giniro no Olynssis

OC mad fight! Every single OC ever created in this thread darts left right center, hurling spells everywhere as the camera spins perspectives through dizzy curves, as the endless Necron hoard surge in the battlefield. But sometimes, something can be made out of the chaos. The Blue Flame Squad and Alex’s team combine attacks and combos the stiff Necron to pieces. There’s enough time for husband and wife to exchange glances, hook each others arms and Alex anc Cass lash out in a two-sided spin kick that crushes the skulls of two Necron Immortals. Alexandra slices through two Warriors, then sends a blast into a Flayer just as Anna throws a Meteor into an advancing platoon. Keroko and Kyla stand back to back unleashing rain of fire from their respective devices as Kaempfer, Gard Redel and his Zakum Troopers try and win air superiority against the black storm of Wraths. Artei holds his own dismembering another troop of Destroyers. Sophia launches Excalibur into the plague, then follows with an optic blast from her cyber scan unit. Arnie is behind her, both Gauss Flayers on full auto as the Friendly Necron tears through his former brethren with ease. Allie throws several fireballs, then makes quick work of her feet dodging a rabid Flayer, then spots an opening for her to tumble in and stab the machine with Parang, the magical dagger instantly dispelling all magic within the Necron and excising its soul in the process. Then David jumps in and slams the Bronzion hammer into the ground, rippling a massive shockwave throughout the desert.

Special Thanks
Skyfall
LoweGear
Aaron800R
Nightengle
USB500
Keroko
Fuyu no Sora
Ratler
Saint X
KBTKaiser
Erio
stormturmoil
Darkalpha

and many others...

Kiseki no naka ni yadoru
Chikara shinjite unmei dakara

Kha stands alone, eyes closed, listening to the howls of machines everywhere, camera spinning around and around at the closing horde. The camera stops, and he opens his eyes; The Necron Lord steps up and raises his staff. The Cleric-knight shifts his stance such that his spear points forward, the Gotteliches Rapier buzz on, the Velka triangle spring out from underneath him, exploding with blue maryoku as the camera zooms into his eyes which go black from Avenging Zorn…

[Closing guitar instrumental]

Even more battle, this time with grainy images, of random moments taken from the OCs’ collective pasts.

Then just as the stanza closes, we flash back to Kha, who swings Tausend Kreuz back and fires thrusters to charge, freezing the image with the guitar strum with a crammed watercolor of him in his charging pose, his Trinity charging out from the flanks, and all over Ocs burst out from the crowd behind him.

Original Production Animesuki OC Thread ProjectText-based opening theme ficlets were one of my most daring but successful experiments in FF.net. But this was a remarkable challenge because of the sheer number of characters to consider. The chorus changes ever episode (There's that many OCs to feature) so even if they aren't in this one they'll be in the next, or the one after that. :heh:

I chose Destiny for its great beat. This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0rynwjQbLM) on j00t00b helped me get started. Hope you guys like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Into a darkened office, Kha enters. Carim is holding something in her hand, and she seems agitated.

Kha: You called, Meister?
Carim: Do you feel that you are on to something, Kha?
Kha: ...
Carim: So you really do. *turns to face the captain* Sorry for being roundabout on this case. Ever since I've heard rumors, and after that ghastly Whisper you spoke of, after I put two and two together, I've no idea who to trust anymore...
Kha: Rest easy, my Cardinal. I'm sure that the inside of these four walls are safe.
Carim: No. Not anymore, Kha. That's why only you were contacted by in secret.
Kha: *nods*
Carim: Take this.
Kha: *takes the cube and instantly the images stored in the datacube flashed through his mind. A shady exchange between a cloaked figure and a Holy Velka pastor seems to be taking place.* What is this?
Carim: 178th Administrated World, deep in Spinward territory. I know how much you hate inquisition missions, but you really have to check things out. And this is only between you and me. Not even the Circle knows of this.
Kha: But why the intense secrecy that not even brethren are allow to hear?
Carim: The fall of the Holy Velka Imperiallon...
Kha: But that's with corruption and the sins of Man that broke the camel's back. Even the--
Carim: What if the corruption was literal?
Kha: Huh? *the strange mechanical buzzing from his dream came into his ears once again.* You don't mean...?
Carim: The situation, if true, has far graver circumstances than we can imagine. Not only is our Church in danger, all of Midchilda, no, all of the TSAB Ordered Space is at stake. This is a dangerous mission, and I wanted Hayate and Acous to be involved as well, but they are busy with the Relic smuggling so I couldn't trouble them...
Kha: What are your orders, my Cardinal?
Carim: Take the 21st and head out there. I'll give you an overt delivery mission that would see the Carryall there without arousing suspicion. Infiltrate that Church and find out as much as you can of what's going on out there. Report in secret when you get back. We'll be able to progress faster if we know just exactly what are we up against or what we're not up against.
Kha: I hear and comply.
Carim: I just hope this is just a bad dream.
Kha: Me too. Bless you.
Carim: My blessings to you too.
Kha: *turns to leave*
Carim: And one more thing.
Kha: Yes?
Carim: Be careful. If... anything goes wrong, just run. I don't wish--
Kha: *places hand on her shoulder, cutting her off* We will be alright, Carim. See you again soon.

Kha left the Church by the same secret channel he came in by, the image of a green sickly derivation of a cross topped by a ring playing back in his head.

Kha: The Corruption of the Holy Velka Imperiallon...Originally posted by Keroko

*Once outside the church, Kha is halted by the form of Keroko leaning against a tree*
Kha: Keroko, what's-
Keroko: You've heard about the 178th?
Kha: Yes.
Keroko: You're going there?
Kha: Naturaly.
Keroko: *Moves away from the tree and faces Kha directly* Listen Kha, we've fought side by side against the Zerg, and Rogue Squadron helped taking down the Scrin air superiority back when, but if the enemy on the 178th is who I think it is, then you're about to face is something else entirely.
Kha: You've fought them?
Keroko: Yes, they- *Keroko's words are interupted by a buzzing comlink* Keroko here.
Hayate: Keroko, we need you over here. Drones have been spotted and Nanoha and Fate are unavailable.
Keroko: Dammit, I'm on the way. *she closes the link and turns back to Kha* Looks like I don't have the time, but remember two things Kha. If it moves, shoot it. Then keep shooting until it stops moving. Preferably until its no longer recognisable. And always keep an eye over your shoulder.
Kha: Any particular reason?
Keroko: Trust me Kha, it's the only way you'll make it back out again. I don't have your back this time, even though you will need it the most right now. Track 2: Down by the Service...

(Dialogue in German)

Sophia: *bleep and click of cyber scan unit* Looks like we're clear. No personnel in the area.
Kha: Got it, Sofie. Al, you cloned the diary already?
Allison: Yes I got it in my pack.
Kha: Stick to Artei's plan alright? Now split up!
21st: Roger!

Foot falls as Allison and Kaempfer escape one way and Kha, Sophie and Artei head the other way.

Sofie: I hope they'll be alright.
Artei: Aw cum on! Kaempfer's a big hunky dragon he'll take care of anything.
Kha: They'll be fine. By the time we clear that last dungeon, the Carryall should be right above us-- Halt!

Silence. Then faint murmurs. Faint mechanical whirrings.

Sofie: Machines? Down here in the dun-
Kha: *Whispers screaming* Oh no...!

Distant psychic scream.

Artei: Al!
Kha: Al! Kaempfer! What happened?
Kae: Under attack from unidentified machines. Dragon fire effective against targets, but target numerous. Request Meister to fall back immediately.
Kha: Hang on we're on our way, and don't use your Dragon form!
Kae: Will try.
Sof: Looks like we've been noticed.

Mad mechanical whirrings

Artei: Run you twits!

Footfalls, then first sign of laserfire.

Sakura: [Gotteliches Schield!] *lasers zinging off barrier*
Sof: Dauer! Load Cartridge!
Dau: *bang and click* [Exprozion]
Sof: Angel... Fire!

Bangs and whizzes, then a tremendous metallic crash.

Sof: It's down! They're ain't so tough.
Keroko: *Words echoing in Kha's mind* Shoot until it doesn't resemble anything anymore...
Kha: Don't stop firing! It's still alive!
Sof: What?!

Mechanical whir, then laser fire.

Sof: Damn it another one! And that old one...! By the Light...
Art: Lets just beat it!
Kha: Stay behind me! Go go go!

Running up the stairs, without line of sight the machine's weapons cannot hit them.

Art: F*** the door!

Bang then suddenly a lot of laserfire

Art: S*** a whole sermon of them! *sword chink* Tsubame Gaeshi!
Sof: Mode Release!
Dauer: [Yes Meister.]
Kha: Let's go...
Sakura: [Avenging Zorn!] *Newtype sound*

With the longbow Dauer morphed into its dual sword mode, the Knights press into the fray. Green gause rattled Kha's barrier as the Cleric zipped around slicing as many of the black skeletons as he could.

Art: Let's leave in style! Kaze no... Kise!
*glass shattering*
Sof: Hur!
*ruffling clothes as she jumps out*
Sakura: [Triple ejection. Siegel von Righteousness]
*clink of pins being pulled*
Kha: (yells and throws) Danger!

A first explosion, followed by several others as the white magic reacted with the dark energies of the machines. The Church is blown apart.

Kha: Must've been full of them.
Art: There's some here. *sword fight*
Sof: Transform!
Dau: [Sturmrage.]
Sof: *Velka summoning circle spring out as she prepares to draw on the string* Reach beyond the Gate of Babylon. To me, Caladbolg!

As she tugs back on the string, a smaller square appears on the longbow as it is drawn back, and Sophia pulls a sword from the ethereal realms, letting it sit on the bow like an arrow.

Dau: *bowstring being drawn* [Armed.]
Sof: Spiral Sword... Fire!

Twang, whiz, then a whole column of machines blow skyhigh.

Kha: Let's go!
Sof: Ah! *resurrected machine trips her*
Kha: Sofie!
Sof: Let go of my leg you t****** p*** hentai!
Art: Henma, Doryusen! *bang*
Sof: You almost got me!
Art: That's how you thank me?
Kha: Those in the Church... They're coming out! Move now!

Footfalls as the roar of dragon flames grow louder. The occasional burst of gauss hitting the Carryall's shields ring out.

Kha: You melted all of them...
Kae: Allie is inside. Get in I'll fly after you.
Art: I'm outta here. *hops in*
Sof: Seven rings that cover the fiery heavens, descend to me now! Materialize!
Dau: [Rho Aias]
Sof: Kha! Camper! This shield won't last forever!
Kha: Kaempfer stand down. I'm right behind you.
Kae: Roger.

More footfalls

Kha: We're in
Art: Let's fly!

Whoosh of engines

Sof: One last parting shot...
Dau: [Hrunting]
Sof: Bite them, Hound of the Red Plains! FIRE!

More explosions.

Art: Phew. Hell yeah that was fun.
Als: 5 mins to light speed.
Kha: Head straight for the Grand Church. We better get these-- THERE'S ONE HERE!!!
Everyone: WHAT?!

Long burst of fireworks, frantic shouts, then silence.

Sof: How did that get in here...
Art: Nice inverted shield and bind, Boss. Now let me just take off a screw...

Slices head off and stabs it with Monohoshizao (Or Zao for short).

Art: And stay dead!
Kha: It never died the in the first place. Look!

Faint whirring

Art: They never know when to stop...
Sof: (chanting) ...I vanquish thee! Begone, Evil spirit!

Machine falls to pieces

Art: That works. So what now, we bring vials of holy water the next time we get back here?
Sof: Don't start...
Kha: Damage control!
Als: Ano... Hull's breached, so we'll have to stay in our Armor desu kedo... ECS, CIWS offline. Shield's acting a little weird. But navigation still works.
Kha: Keep flying. I'll try to patch the ship up. Kaempfer, Sofie, Artei, keep an eye on that bastard.
Art: Ooh Captain's really pissed.

---End of Track 2---Track 3 - The Plot Thickens

(dialogue in German)

This time, Kha came via the front door. Kaempfer as the cloth swabbed mechanoid in a fireman's lift over his shoulder marched alongside his meister as Artei and Sophia keep up behind them. Allie, having parked the smoking wreck of a Carryall on the front lawn, much to the chagrin of the landscapers, jogs up, hugging onto her pack in case more of those machines suddenly teleport in and grab it.

Carim swings her double doors open and usher them in. She immediate hugs them once the doors were shut.

Car: Oh I'm so relieved! The wires from 178th declared that an explosion had leveled the Church and I prayed hard that you all are okay. I'm very sorry for--

Kaempfer drops the machine on to the floor audibly, cutting her off.

Kha: Kaempfer, no need for that. (turns back to Carim) We appreciate you concern, my Meister, but it is ill-founded. We've returned in one piece, haven't we? No need to apologize when what we do is for the Church.
Car: (nods mutely) What have you managed to find?
Kha: Nothing concrete. *hands over the books* The diaries we've retrieved indicate that the head Confessor working hard to recruit individuals for the greater good of the Light, but really sounds weird, for the books also mention a "Monolith" where the Confessor leads a flock of new converts to.
Car: And what is that?

Kaempfer unveils the catch, and Carim gasps.

Car: In the name of Harmonium what is this monstrosity?!
Kha: This and several of its counterparts assaulted our operations as we were concluding the mission. They seem to possess an unprecedented recovery rate unless they've been completely melted down by Kaempfer's fire or by exorcising the spirit within these machines.
Car: I heard of no machines. Just a very bad leyline explosion...
Kha: They must have phased out. That's another of their abilities.
Carim: (nods in thought) Okay I see, so far whatever these things we know next to nothing about them. I'm only guessing that they have something to do with the Monolith, if that's what they've been trying to prevent you from reporting. Kha, sorry to bother you again, but can you analyze this monster and see what makes it tick? If we could develope a way to stop these things from regenerating or by quickly excising the evil within, the Church should be able to suppress it without much issue. The TSAB and the public must not know of this.
Kha: I understand the public but why the TSAB?
Car: Knowing Hayate...
Kha: ...she'd send her forces out there in an instant.
Car: Or worse split themselves in two and put themselves in greater danger on two fronts. I can't risk that...
Kha: I understand. Do you have a facility we could use?
Car: I'm afraid not. None of the research labs have been scheduled for use, so if one is suddenly requested it'll be very obvious.
Kha: Hmm...
Sof: Miss Carim?
Car: Yes, good Sister?
Sof: I think we can ask Aurion.
Kha: Sempai? I thought he was out of the country?
Sof: He's probably gone back to his home just out of town for a rest break and cola before he drags himself on that trip to nowhere. He's got a stocked workshop there he might be able to help.
Kha: We're going to have to find him first.
Sof: Hey you forgot who's got the top grades for divination here?
Art: As if there was anything you didn't get top for, maybe in the personality tests.

Sofie grinds her heel into Artei's foot, sending him jumping around in pain.

Kha: So it's settled then. Sophia, locate Aurion. Kaempfer, you take a buggy and head for Aurion's place. Once we find him, we'll explain then. I'll catch up with you all once I'm done.
Sof: Where are you going, Kha?
Kha: Keroko. She knows something about this.
Car: The one they call the Black Dragon. I've heard of her. Yes I think she'll be helpful. But I don't wish to--
Kha: She knows, my Cardinal.
Car: (agast) How's that possible?
Kha: That's what I'm about to find out. Rogue Squadron might have some dealings with these machines in the past, and I know a detachment was operating in Spinward space as our sting went ahead.
Car: I see.
Art: *stops jumping* Er... Miss Carim?
Car: Yes, Artei?
Art: Can we just take a look at all the data we've gathered so far? All through this mess I only got the foggiest of idea of what in heck we are doing, even with Boss' description and sharing.
Car: I agree.

A hour later, the Trinity has sifted through all the security videos, data feeds and transmission transcripts coming from that Church. Then, in a general database search, Artei stumbles upon a Device entry.

Art: Hey whaddaya know? Sofia's involved in this after all.
Sof: I AM NOT!
Art: Whoa there, hot shot. I never said it was you. Unless you're uh... guilty?
Sof: (Vericose vein) You...
Kha: What have you?
Art: This Boss (flips the hovering display around. It is the picture of a device with a familiar looking cross) Remember this thing on the wall?
Kha: Hmm... It is similar, but there's a small difference. Glock Heckler...?
Art: One of the latest entries here says that he's encountered 'skeletal machines' before and somewhat got out of it alive. Interestingly, he also encountered "flayer" type skulls as well.
Kha: Ah... (Still in thought) Where have I heard that name before...? (flashback)

Yuuno: Oh you mean Kaylin? She's not in at the moment. Some officer is profiling her at the moment.
Kha: She got into trouble again?
Yuu: No not since a long time. Just an old contact of hers really.
Kha: Oh. Do I know him?
Yuu: Glock Heckler from Investigations. Heard of him?

Kha: Kay!
Art: What's with that Oba-san again?
Kha: She knows Glock.
Art: Oh.
Kha: Can you go look her up at the Institute?
Art: WHAT?! No way. You know how well me and her devices hit it off...
Kha: I'd love to go myself, but time is of the essence, and only I can get through security into Rogue's base quickly.
Art: As you command Boss. I better bring cartridges... And logic shields for Zao...

Carim gets off the phone.

Car: Sorry to hurry you all, but there's a Circle meeting in the boardroom in 15 minutes time. I can't leave my office unlocked...
Kha: It's okay. We're leaving now.

Everyone starts gathering up papers.

Als: Ano... Oni-chan?
Kha: (kneels down to the 12 year old's height) What is it?
Als: What's my job?
Kha: You are to go home and keep Fate company. You weren't home last night so she might be worried. We'll get you when we're moving out again.
Als: But Nee-chan...!
Kha: No buts alright? You've worked enough for the night. Go get some rest. I'm sure Fate would appreciate it.
Als: (looks sad) Okay...
Kha: (brushes her hair) That's a good girl. (stands up) All set?
Everyone: Yes!
Kha: Move out!

The 21st set out in different directions, Sophia and Kaempfer with the machine for the scientist Aurion, Artei for the archaeologist Kaylin, Kha for the Rogue Squadron Honor's Hold Base, and little Allison to her foster home at Riot 6 Base.

Carim paced about the still-empty boardroom, fretting. Her assistant wasn't about to arrive soon, but she had this feeling of unease. Something was missing...

In the end, she gave up. Just one more call...

Carim: Hello? Shin-chan? Is Miss Alexandra and Miss Anna there?

---End of Track 3---Track 4 - Report to Carim
Originally posted by Keroko

Keroko walks towards the St. Monarch Church, Kha in tow. At the moment she didn’t care one bit for discretion, Hayate’s mission had held her up longer then expected. She opens the doors to find a nervously passing Carim.

Carim: Keroko, I’m glad you could come on such a short notice.
Keroko: Don’t worry about it, I was going to tell you this when I came here, but the mission intervened. Then Kha told me they encountered more of those drone zombies.

*Both Carim and Keroko’s eyes flicker to Kha for a moment.*

Carim: Yes, he told me you had encountered these things before.
Keroko: Yes, but let’s take a seat. This will take a time to explain.

The trio sits down, and Keroko begins to explain.
Keroko: It all began during a small scouting mission on the 178th world….

*dreamy flashback sound can be heard.*

Keroko: All green in this sector, we should head back and regroup with the others. 178th planet seems clear for now.
Wes: (flying to her left) Roger that leader.
Rogue 4: Still, it’s amazing that Commander Hayate allowed you to come, I thought you were to busy with the new unit?
Keroko: It’s mostly training right now; and the occasional mission. It’ll be a while before we see any real action.
Rogue 6: Still, it’s great to have you flying with us again.
Rogue 8: Yeah, good to see Deathwing has lost none of her charm.
Rogue 7: Nor her cuteness.

Keroko: *sighs and opens a mental link* [Wes, they’re doing it to me again.]
Wes: [Well, you did up and leave one day after all. They’ve been bored ever since they had no-one to fuss over.]
Keroko:
Wes: [Torture, you mean]
Keroko: [Details. Into a fine unit, which is now amongst the elite in the TSAB, and what do I get in return? Pats on the head and comments on my ‘cuteness’]
Wes: [Well, you are the youngest in the squadron, even if you’re our commander. You’re like our little sister. *He looks at her with a grin* Our little Deathwing.]
Keroko: [… I hate you Wes.]

[I]*A burst of static interrupts any further conversation*
Rogue 12: Commander! We have possible problems, source is unknown but it’s certainly not of this world!
Keroko: Copy that twelve. Wes, Tycho, grab onto me. We need to hurry considering we’re farthest away.
Wes & Tycho: Ma’am!
Keroko: *checks whether the two are holding on tight before nodding* Artherion, cartridge load!
Artherion: [Hyperdrive.] *A huge red aura surrounds the trio and they blast of at incredible speed.*

They soon arrive to see the rest of Rogue Squadron assembled at what appears to be a cave mound.

Keroko: *Glances around* So what do we have?
Wes: Looks like a cave.
Tycho: *shakes head* That cave was not made by nature.
Wes: *Turns to Tycho* How so?
Tycho: *Points at the entrance walls* Those walls are too straight, only intelligent hands could carve something like this out.
Keroko: All right, let’s go in then.

The squadron enters into the cave. As they ascend deeper and deeper, they slowly begin to realize that this is more then just a cave. Strange pyramids seem to stand at selected places in the cavern, and the place radiated a certain aura of death.

Keroko: *murmurs* This is no cave… it’s like a tomb.
Rogue 4: Commander!

*A ripping sound can be heard*

Keroko: *Reacting in a reflex* Forcefield!

*The silent cavern turns into a mixture of ripping, cracking and banging sounds as a strange bolt of green energy makes contact with the red shield.*

Keroko: Take cover!
Tycho: *Ducks behind a nearby rock* What was that?!
Wes: From what I saw, gray, metal, and carrying a really big gun.
Keroko: Drones?
Tycho: They sure didn’t look like any of the ones you are hunting.

*more cracking sounds can be heard as multiple bolts start chewing up the rocks*

Wes: Dammit, there’s more of them?
Keroko: *leaps from behind the rock* Return fire! Snipe Shooter!

As one scarlet beam of energy surges forward and pierces three of the drones, many other multicolored bolts follow with a deafening roar.

Keroko: Press on! We need to know where the hell these things are coming from!

The full frontal wall of spells the Rogues weaved downed drone after drone. Despite the fat that the Rogues had no idea who they were up against, they seemed to be on the winning hand. Finally, the flow of drones seemed to stop.

Keroko: Two, Status!
Wes: twelve and thirteen took shots to the arm, and by the looks of it it’s very painful. Their weapons seem to flay the very flesh of ones bones. Four took a shot to the shoulder, and six was hit in the side. He’s going to need medical attention.
Keroko: *Sighs* Right, Five, patch them up for now. We need to find out where these things are coming from and get the hell out of here.
Rogue 5: I’ll get right on-

He is suddenly interrupted from finishing the rest of the sentence as a green burst of energy rips through his chest, setting his body ablaze with green energy. The rogues watch in horror as the skin is torn of his charred skeleton.

Keroko: Zhar!
Wes: Where the hell did that come from?
Tycho: Behind us!
Keroko: *Runs up to the standing metal skeleton and swings Artherion in an upward, lobbing of his head. She shifts the weight and rams the axe-like device through the side of its chest* Where was that bastard hiding!
Wes: Around us!

The Rogues watch in horror as several of the machines pulled themselves back together. Holes make by accurate shots close, tears are mended, some of the mechanic monstrosities even re-attach their own limbs as if they never even left their owner.

Keroko: Run! Blast a way through their lines, towards the exit!

A hail of spells once again blasted a hole in the line, but the Rogues, tired and wounded, can not fully escape the enemies, who are now closer then ever. One of the Rogues managed to get a little close to one of the drones. He prepares for a spell, expecting the machine to level his weapon at him and fire. Instead, the metallic zombie raises his weapon high and struck. Completely not anticipating the attack, the Rogue lost half his shoulder and was send skirting backwards, where another of the strange drones puts a foot on his chest, and applies enough pressure to instantly kill the man.

Keroko: *curses* How much farther!
Rogue 6: Just a little bit, around this turn and- aaaah!

A scream silences any more words, as a gigantic scythe pierces the man’s chest. Moments later he is ruthlessly tossed aside and a giant floating phantom comes into view. Cloaked in grey, the bottom tattered; a hood covers his face yet fails to hide a malicious grin, a scythe in hand.

For a moment, I was reminded of the earth tales of the grim reaper.

Keroko: *glaring at the newcomer* Wes, get them out of here.
Wes: Are you sure, Keroko? He looks different from the others. Stronger, too.
Keroko: That’s why I am staying and you are going. *shifts her glare to Wes* and that’s an order.
Wes: …. Yes ma’am.

Keroko: *Shifts her glare back to the hooded figure* Artherion, Ethereal Mode!
Artherion: [Activating.]

*The two blades on Artherion turn downwards until they’re both at a 120 degree angle, then a third blade appears at the top.*

Artherion: [Releasing seals.]

*A pattern of seals appear all over Keroko’s body, slowly they begin to fade*

Artherion: Seals released, starting Elthereal Mode.

*Two wrist guards appear to shield her wrist and forearm, and her skirt gains several armor plates. A diamond shaped hole appears in the cloth her back, from which two black ethereal wings sprout.*

As soon as I had finished shifting to Ethereal Mode, I immediately began casting an Ion Cannon Breaker. I was expecting the creature I was facing to attack, like its predecessors had done. I did not expect the creature to speak to me.

Hooded figure: Power… such dark power… you are an avatar, are you not?
Keroko: *blinks* What?
Hooded figure: Yes… I sense a power greater then yours, and yet you command it at will… identify.
Keroko: Keroko… Deathwing Keroko…

It was a simple error, a slip of the tongue. Yet the creature seemed to enjoy it.

Hooded figure: Deathwing… yes, I shall remember, and we shall meet again, deathwing.
Keroko: Like hell we will. Ion Cannon… BREAKER!!!!

*A huge explosion shakes the cavern as the red-black beam tears through its stone halls*

Keroko: Huff… huff…
Wes: Commander! Hold on, I’ll transport you to the ship!

*In the medbay*

Keroko: Thanks Griff.
Griff (Rogue 12): I’m no Zhar, commander, but I’m glad I could help.
Wes: So what now?
Keroko: *Sighs* Wes, you get this to the TSAB, as soon as you can. Contact Tycho, and send him to the Infinite Library. Tell Yuuno I send him.
Wes: And you?
Keroko: I’m going to Carim. She has to know about this too.
Wes: That serious?
Keroko: Wes, we just lost three Rogues! Three! Even against the Zerg we never lost three Rogues in a single battle. No, this has to go everywhere. The Velkan order has people I trust, and they need to know this too.

*Another dreamy flashback sound can be heard*

Keroko: And that’s how I came here. Unfortunately I only had enough time to warn Kha, luckily his team made it out better then mine.
Carim: Keroko…
Keroko: *clenching the fabric of her skirt* Three Rogues Carim. Zhar, Rutan, Reac, all three of them gone…
Carim: …
Kha: …
Carim: *walks over to the distressed girl and pulls her into an embrace* I know it hurts, Keroko. But remember, though you may have lost three friends, you saved nine others. You are not alone.
Keroko: *breaks down and starts crying on Carim’s shoulder.* Released 9-6-2007
Track 5 - The 21st makes their moves

Kha: Keroko went back to her base after we finished talking as tonight was the last day of the wake for the lost Rogue wingmen. It was a standard Mid Childa state funeral, the Velka clerics weren’t involved, otherwise I’d volunteer myself, especially when I knew several of the honorable Rogue squad men. The Light bless their souls…

Meanwhile, as Artei worked his way deeper towards the core of the Infinite Library to catch Yuuno and then shake Kaylin's whereabouts out of him, he had Zao running routines to trawl the incident reports coming into the TSAB mainframe. The device has been snagging many false leads as the boy had set the search criteria to grab any report with the keywords he specified, and he had been dismissing them without as much of a second look. Then quite unexpected, the big one bit.

Artei: Hey Boss, got a minute? There's something here you got to see...

Kha: He explained it as succinctly as possible

Kha: Mobile 13 disappeared?!
Art: Yeap and they contacted "skeletal machines" as well, then according to one of the guys, one of the skulls started some mumb-jumbo with big brawns of courage there, then that was the last time the TSAB had contact with Mobile 13.
Kha: Wait. How does a whole unit disappear just like that?!
Art: It was a unit of 1.
Kha: What?
Art: This Dan Brown's some sort of walking Lost Logia, and his powers are just insane. I certain don't wanna take his Bronzion Hammer head on. Anyway's his head is on the chopping board with a big bounty now on the skin of his neck.
Kha: You don't suppose he... defected?
Art: I hope not. I certainly hope not...
Kha: Have you reached the Library?
Art: Almost there Boss.
Kha: Good, go find Kaylin I'll work my way from the Grand Church.

Carim: Did I hear Lost Logia?
Kha: Yes, my Cardinal. This superweapon of the higher ups went missing after contact with the skulls we ran into.
Carim: That means Nanoha's unit has been informed!
Kha: Oh no.
Carim: Don't worry, I know what to do.

A while later...

Rein: Hayate-chan! This memo just got in.
Hayate: Searching for a Type-SSS Lost Logia?!
Rein: That's why the Brass are calling all the best they've got in on this mission-- Hang on, something's just in (tiny Logia listens in) Huh...? All TSAB units stand down from the case? Carim volunteers her Trinity to capture the Lost Logia...? Um... Hai, received...
Hayate: That is strange...

Kha was still coordinating his Trinity from Carim's office when the Cardinal's vid screen. She answers.

Carim: ...Yes, I know Hayate. Don't worry take it as a friend's favor... Where did I get the help from? The Trinity's have been vital in aiding the Church's operations and this time the Optimus was available to take the job, especially this has something to do with the Church... We'll be fine Hayate just focus on those Drones--
Kha: Meister Hayate, I'm personally overseeing this mission, so you don't have to be involved.
Hay: Kha-chan? Oh you're back! Why didn't you drop by? Fate-chan seems to miss you.
Kha: I've been busy. It's alright, my Trinity is more than able to retrieve this Logia.
Hay: I'll leave this matter in your hands then. But remember, all of us are in this together, alright? Any trouble just call and we'll be right over.
Kha: Yes Yagami-san. Bless you.
Carim: Bless you.
Hay: My blessings to you all too. (terminates call)

Both of them let out a breath.

Carim: That was close.
Kha: Indeed. Now to process the clues…

Psycall from Sophia.

Kha: Hi, Sofie.
Sophia: Hi, Kha~~. I found Aurion. But you won’t believe where I found his sorry a$$. :)
Kha: Where?
Sof: A third grade brothel. So much for heading out on research. :D
Kha: WHAT?!
Aur: (sticks head in yelling) No way in hell! Kha-chan, what kind of a subordinate do you have?! She not only dragged me out of a good hobby store she put these binds on me and said I’m under arrest for crimes against the Church! What is going on here?!
Kha: Somehow I‘m more inclined to believe Sempai here… :heh: Sofie, unbind him. He’s not a prisoner you know, what was that for?
Sof: I had to make it believable to cover me dragging him off suddenly. Anyway now that we’re out of sight from the public, (turns to Aurion smirking) I suppose I could undo your manacles. I got my revenge too. ^^

Phwing of the binds disappearing

Sof: There.
Aur: :twitch: Thank you…
Sof: (still wearing the Tohsaka smirk) Appreciate it. :)
Kha: My apologies, Sempai. (to Sophia) Is Kaempfer at Sempai‘s lab?
Sof: Yeap. So far the skulls don’t look like they are intending on collecting their little friend. Either that or they’re really scared of Dragonfire. After all, he turned them all into puddles of green and black muck back there.
Kha: I hope he is safe too. Sempai, do you know what’s going on?
Aur: Like I would in Hell! I know you guys didn’t drag me off without a good reason.
Kha: I see. All I’m about to say is Top Secret: Ears Only, so be careful after this.
Aur: I got it. The tech department’s got its fair share of skeletons in the closet anyway.

Kha: I made it brief of our encounter and how we managed to capture one of the machines

Aur: And so that’s how we have Arnie on our hands?
Kha: :confused: Who’s Arnie?
Aur: That machine. :D
Kha: (incredulously) Uh-huh…
Aur: Don’t worry! I’ll see if I can’t figure out what makes Arnie tick! By the way, can I do other things with him?
Kha: Like?
Aur: You know, make him sing “I love you”, dance the Macarena, shoot the other machines for us…
Both Velka: WHAT?!
Aur: Boy do I also want to make him be able to melt into mercury! :D
Kha: Erm… That’s rather dangerous, if you try to boot him up.
Aur: No fear of that! My scanners will make sure everything is safe before I attempt anything drastic. :D
Kha: Your grinning like this is scaring me, Sempai… :heh: Sophia is it okay to accompany him for a while? In case that thing turns out not inert?
Sof: I’m pretty sure that thing isn’t going to work ever again, but yeah I suppose I have to wait until the next Carryall is ready…
Aur: KHA!!!!!! :frustrated: Are you nuts?! Her with me?!
Kha: I’m sorry, Sempai, she’s the only one in the area at the moment. Kaempfer would be there to assist as well, and would be able to balance her overreactions--
Sof: Just what did you mean by that, der Kleriker?! :eyebrow:
Kha: :eek: Just trying to calm Sempai…
Sof: You’re lucky I’m not there to ‘harisen’ you!
Kha: Me too. At least it’s not seku-hara…
Sof: Pardon?
Kha: It’s n-nothing. :heh:
Sof: Here we are. I’ll report in later. Wilco over.
Kha: Roger out.

Car: (giggling)
Kha: What’s so funny?
Car: I know Sophia as a very serious person who is respectful of the higher ranks, but the way she treats you is very atypical.
Kha: It was my wish that my Trinity treat me as a comrade rather than an officer.
Car: No, no, no… I’m saying that this might mean something.
Kha: :confused: Um… Okay.
Car: You really are clueless.

Another psycall labelled urgent comes in. Kha picks up hurriedly.

Kha: Allison! What's the matter?
Als: Oni-chan, have you had dinner?
Kha: Huh? You called me for that…? (Checks watch.) Good Empress I clean forgot.
Als: Oni-chan‘s always like that when I‘m not around to make sure you eat. :)
Kha: :heh:
Als: It‘s too late for me to cook something. Shall we have Tao‘s?
Kha: That‘ll be good. Thanks Allie.
Als: No problem! See ya, Oni-chan!
Kha: Bless ya.

Hangs up.

Car: Both of you are really like siblings
Kha: Really? I don‘t think the hair helps. :heh:
Car: Yes that would distinguish the two of you a lot! (laughs) But I‘m glad she‘s doing okay now. She was such a wreck after being literally uprooted to safety.
Kha: I thank you for giving me this opportunity. I hope to take her to Earth and find out what happened there, if its okay with you.
Car: And I thought you never went against anyone’s wishes no matter how absurd! The Aces really have been teaching you a lot of things. :)
Kha: :heh: I guess so… Well I got to go now. I don’t want to keep Allie waiting, or she‘ll start scolding me. :heh:
Car: Enjoy your dinner, Kha. Thank you for your hard work.
Kha: Don‘t mention it. We’ll set out again tomorrow, but don’t be afraid to notify us of anything new.
Car: I will. Bless you.
Kha: My blessings to you too.

Kha: With that I headed back to the Trinity administration office to see what else I could find. Too bad I couldn’t make it for the Rogue squadron’s wake, but I will be there for the final send-off. In the mean time, the sunset I drove home in was beautiful and I hope it was too for the servicemen who lost their lives fighting this vile scourge.Released 11-7-2007Track 6 - A Surprise Visit

Kha had his eyes closed in his quiet office meditating when he heard the door open.

Als: Oni-chan?
Kha: (stretches) NNng... Yes come in.
Erio: Meister!
Kha: Erio? What are you--?
Caro: Hello, Kha-san!
Kha: Eh?! (hurriedly tidies up his table and stows the "Confidential" business away.) Erm... Hi! WHy don't you guys take a seat at the couch. I'll be right over...
Fate: Don't surprise him like that. (turns to Kha) Sorry about that we should've knocked...
Kha: (stands up hurriedly, looking worse for wear since he hadn't changed out from the collapse of the Hand of Danaan) Oh no bother really! :heh:
Fate: No you're not! (strides over and pats his shoulders, kicking the dust free) what happened to you?!
Als: (reacts quickly) Oni-chan! I'll go put the takeaway on the table K? Erio-kun, Caro-chan this way please!
Chibikko: Hai!
Kha: Keroko and I had a little fight and we sort of blew up one of the foundations...
Fate: Over?
Kha: Well she thought I built the thing that attacked Erio.
Fate: :eek: Now that you mentioned it, that was a Wizard park...
Kha: :eek: No. Way. Will. I. Ever. Build a pack like that. It's completely wrong! Trust me!
Fate: (smiling) If I don't trust you, then who will?
Kha: :heh:... Thanks...
Fate: I thought you might be hungry, and I heard Allie was getting some takeaway, so I thought maybe we could have dinner over here for once.
Kha: It's okay really. Let's go.

Als: Oni-chan!
Kha: Yes?
Als: Ano... I can't reach that cabinet for the dishes... :heh:
Kha: Grow taller then. :) (ruffles her hair as he passes)
Als: (retorts) Oni-chan!!!
Kha: Here you go.

Erio: Meister! You really should try this! The cooks Hayate hired are the best!
Kha: I've never seen this before... Pink... jellyworms? :twitch:
Erio: :heh: Eh... it's spagetti Meister...
Kha: Looks... sweet. :heh:
Caro: Maybe we can have this too!
Als: Caro-chan! Is that sushi?!
Caro: It's my first try since Fate-san taught me how to make one so... Hope its not too bad.
Fate: Oh you did make it! It look's really nice. :)
Kha: I'm sure its alright. :)
Caro: Ah... :blush:
Erio: Shall we start Meister?
Kha: Just give me a second. Quick moment of grace... (Some silence) There!
All: Itadaki-masu!

Kha: Fate... Erio... Yes I have been very busy, and I've been unable to see both of you often... I'm out there protecting everyone, and this is what makes it worth it. But still... I learn that a meal, though simple, has much meaning when a family can sit down and share it. I guess I should take a break once in a while...

[Author's Note]
"Pink jellyworms" was what I thought when I saw the Forwards eating the stuff back in Epi 6 I think. :heh:

I'll be posting future SS and associated media in this thread at this post so as to keep the OC thread on topic. I might turn this into a full fic someday, if I got time.

dkellis

2007-05-24, 22:13

Awesome. I was actually going to ask about that; I managed to find episode 3 onwards of CrosyS, but not one and two.

S_K

2007-05-25, 06:23

For those who've been wondering what I meant about that CrosyS thing, here it is, a repost from the OC Thread:

Into a darkened office, Kha enters. Carim is holding something in her hand, and she seems agitated.

Kha: You called, Meister?
Carim: Do you feel that you are on to something, Kha?
Kha: ...
Carim: So you really do. *turns to face the captain* Sorry for being roundabout on this case. Ever since I've heard rumors, and after that ghastly Whisper you spoke of, after I put two and two together, I've no idea who to trust anymore...
Kha: Rest easy, my Cardinal. I'm sure that the inside of these four walls are safe.
Carim: No. Not anymore, Kha. That's why only you were contacted by in secret.
Kha: *nods*
Carim: Take this.
Kha: *takes the cube and instantly the images stored in the datacube flashed through his mind. A shady exchange between a cloaked figure and a Holy Velka pastor seems to be taking place.* What is this?
Carim: 178th Administrated World, deep in Spinward territory. I know how much you hate inquisition missions, but you really have to check things out. And this is only between you and me. Not even the Circle knows of this.
Kha: But why the intense secrecy that not even brethren are allow to hear?
Carim: The fall of the Holy Velka Imperiallon...
Kha: But that's with corruption and the sins of Man that broke the camel's back. Even the--
Carim: What if the corruption was literal?
Kha: Huh? *the strange mechanical buzzing from his dream came into his ears once again.* You don't mean...?
Carim: The situation, if true, has far graver circumstances than we can imagine. Not only is our Church in danger, all of Midchilda, no, all of the TSAB Ordered Space is at stake. This is a dangerous mission, and I wanted Hayate and Acous to be involved as well, but they are busy with the Relic smuggling so I couldn't trouble them...
Kha: What are your orders, my Cardinal?
Carim: Take the 21st and head out there. I'll give you an overt delivery mission that would see the Carryall there without arousing suspicion. Infiltrate that Church and find out as much as you can of what's going on out there. Report in secret when you get back. We'll be able to progress faster if we know just exactly what are we up against or what we're not up against.
Kha: I hear and comply.
Carim: I just hope this is just a bad dream.
Kha: Me too. Bless you.
Carim: My blessings to you too.
Kha: *turns to leave*
Carim: And one more thing.
Kha: Yes?
Carim: Be careful. If... anything goes wrong, just run. I don't wish--
Kha: *places hand on her shoulder, cutting her off* We will be alright, Carim. See you again soon.

Kha left the Church by the same secret channel he came in by, the image of a green sickly derivation of a cross topped by a ring playing back in his head.

Kha: The Corruption of the Holy Velka Imperiallon...Originally posted by Keroko

*Once outside the church, Kha is halted by the form of Keroko leaning against a tree*
Kha: Keroko, what's-
Keroko: You've heard about the 178th?
Kha: Yes.
Keroko: You're going there?
Kha: Naturaly.
Keroko: *Moves away from the tree and faces Kha directly* Listen Kha, we've fought side by side against the Zerg, and Rogue Squadron helped taking down the Scrin air superiority back when, but if the enemy on the 178th is who I think it is, then you're about to face is something else entirely.
Kha: You've fought them?
Keroko: Yes, they- *Keroko's words are interupted by a buzzing comlink* Keroko here.
Hayate: Keroko, we need you over here. Drones have been spotted and Nanoha and Fate are unavailable.
Keroko: Dammit, I'm on the way. *she closes the link and turns back to Kha* Looks like I don't have the time, but remember two things Kha. If it moves, shoot it. Then keep shooting until it stops moving. Preferably until its no longer recognisable. And always keep an eye over your shoulder.
Kha: Any particular reason?
Keroko: Trust me Kha, it's the only way you'll make it back out again. I don't have your back this time, even though you will need it the most right now. Track 2: Down by the Service...

(Dialogue in German)

Sophia: *bleep and click of cyber scan unit* Looks like we're clear. No personnel in the area.
Kha: Got it, Sofie. Al, you cloned the diary already?
Allison: Yes I got it in my pack.
Kha: Stick to Artei's plan alright? Now split up!
21st: Roger!

Foot falls as Allison and Kaempfer escape one way and Kha, Sophie and Artei head the other way.

Sofie: I hope they'll be alright.
Artei: Aw cum on! Kaempfer's a big hunky dragon he'll take care of anything.
Kha: They'll be fine. By the time we clear that last dungeon, the Carryall should be right above us-- Halt!

Silence. Then faint murmurs. Faint mechanical whirrings.

Sofie: Machines? Down here in the dun-
Kha: *Whispers screaming* Oh no...!

Distant psychic scream.

Artei: Al!
Kha: Al! Kaempfer! What happened?
Kae: Under attack from unidentified machines. Dragon fire effective against targets, but target numerous. Request Meister to fall back immediately.
Kha: Hang on we're on our way, and don't use your Dragon form!
Kae: Will try.
Sof: Looks like we've been noticed.

Mad mechanical whirrings

Artei: Run you twits!

Footfalls, then first sign of laserfire.

Sakura: [Gotteliches Schield!] *lasers zinging off barrier*
Sof: Dauer! Load Cartridge!
Dau: *bang and click* [Exprozion]
Sof: Angel... Fire!

Bangs and whizzes, then a tremendous metallic crash.

Sof: It's down! They're ain't so tough.
Keroko: *Words echoing in Kha's mind* Shoot until it doesn't resemble anything anymore...
Kha: Don't stop firing! It's still alive!
Sof: What?!

Mechanical whir, then laser fire.

Sof: Damn it another one! And that old one...! By the Light...
Art: Lets just beat it!
Kha: Stay behind me! Go go go!

Running up the stairs, without line of sight the machine's weapons cannot hit them.

Art: F*** the door!

Bang then suddenly a lot of laserfire

Art: S*** a whole sermon of them! *sword chink* Tsubame Gaeshi!
Sof: Mode Release!
Dauer: [Yes Meister.]
Kha: Let's go...
Sakura: [Avenging Zorn!] *Newtype sound*

With the longbow Dauer morphed into its dual sword mode, the Knights press into the fray. Green gause rattled Kha's barrier as the Cleric zipped around slicing as many of the black skeletons as he could.

Art: Let's leave in style! Kaze no... Kise!
*glass shattering*
Sof: Hur!
*ruffling clothes as she jumps out*
Sakura: [Triple ejection. Siegel von Righteousness]
*clink of pins being pulled*
Kha: (yells and throws) Danger!

A first explosion, followed by several others as the white magic reacted with the dark energies of the machines. The Church is blown apart.

Kha: Must've been full of them.
Art: There's some here. *sword fight*
Sof: Transform!
Dau: [Sturmrage.]
Sof: *Velka summoning circle spring out as she prepares to draw on the string* Reach beyond the Gate of Babylon. To me, Caladbolg!

As she tugs back on the string, a smaller square appears on the longbow as it is drawn back, and Sophia pulls a sword from the ethereal realms, letting it sit on the bow like an arrow.

Dau: *bowstring being drawn* [Armed.]
Sof: Spiral Sword... Fire!

Twang, whiz, then a whole column of machines blow skyhigh.

Kha: Let's go!
Sof: Ah! *resurrected machine trips her*
Kha: Sofie!
Sof: Let go of my leg you t****** p*** hentai!
Art: Henma, Doryusen! *bang*
Sof: You almost got me!
Art: That's how you thank me?
Kha: Those in the Church... They're coming out! Move now!

Footfalls as the roar of dragon flames grow louder. The occasional burst of gauss hitting the Carryall's shields ring out.

Kha: You melted all of them...
Kae: Allie is inside. Get in I'll fly after you.
Art: I'm outta here. *hops in*
Sof: Seven rings that cover the fiery heavens, descend to me now! Materialize!
Dau: [Rho Aias]
Sof: Kha! Camper! This shield won't last forever!
Kha: Kaempfer stand down. I'm right behind you.
Kae: Roger.

More footfalls

Kha: We're in
Art: Let's fly!

Whoosh of engines

Sof: One last parting shot...
Dau: [Hrunting]
Sof: Bite them, Hound of the Red Plains! FIRE!

More explosions.

Art: Phew. Hell yeah that was fun.
Als: 5 mins to light speed.
Kha: Head straight for the Grand Church. We better get these-- THERE'S ONE HERE!!!
Everyone: WHAT?!

Long burst of fireworks, frantic shouts, then silence.

Sof: How did that get in here...
Art: Nice inverted shield and bind, Boss. Now let me just take off a screw...

Slices head off and stabs it with Monohoshizao (Or Zao for short).

Art: And stay dead!
Kha: It never died the in the first place. Look!

Faint whirring

Art: They never know when to stop...
Sof: (chanting) ...I vanquish thee! Begone, Evil spirit!

Machine falls to pieces

Art: That works. So what now, we bring vials of holy water the next time we get back here?
Sof: Don't start...
Kha: Damage control!
Als: Ano... Hull's breached, so we'll have to stay in our Armor desu kedo... ECS, CIWS offline. Shield's acting a little weird. But navigation still works.
Kha: Keep flying. I'll try to patch the ship up. Kaempfer, Sofie, Artei, keep an eye on that bastard.
Art: Ooh Captain's really pissed.

---End of Track 2---Track 3 - The Plot Thickens

(dialogue in German)

This time, Kha came via the front door. Kaempfer as the cloth swabbed mechanoid in a fireman's lift over his shoulder marched alongside his meister as Artei and Sophia keep up behind them. Allie, having parked the smoking wreck of a Carryall on the front lawn, much to the chagrin of the landscapers, jogs up, hugging onto her pack in case more of those machines suddenly teleport in and grab it.

Carim swings her double doors open and usher them in. She immediate hugs them once the doors were shut.

Car: Oh I'm so relieved! The wires from 178th declared that an explosion had leveled the Church and I prayed hard that you all are okay. I'm very sorry for--

Kaempfer drops the machine on to the floor audibly, cutting her off.

Kha: Kaempfer, no need for that. (turns back to Carim) We appreciate you concern, my Meister, but it is ill-founded. We've returned in one piece, haven't we? No need to apologize when what we do is for the Church.
Car: (nods mutely) What have you managed to find?
Kha: Nothing concrete. *hands over the books* The diaries we've retrieved indicate that the head Confessor working hard to recruit individuals for the greater good of the Light, but really sounds weird, for the books also mention a "Monolith" where the Confessor leads a flock of new converts to.
Car: And what is that?

Kaempfer unveils the catch, and Carim gasps.

Car: In the name of Harmonium what is this monstrosity?!
Kha: This and several of its counterparts assaulted our operations as we were concluding the mission. They seem to possess an unprecedented recovery rate unless they've been completely melted down by Kaempfer's fire or by exorcising the spirit within these machines.
Car: I heard of no machines. Just a very bad leyline explosion...
Kha: They must have phased out. That's another of their abilities.
Carim: (nods in thought) Okay I see, so far whatever these things we know next to nothing about them. I'm only guessing that they have something to do with the Monolith, if that's what they've been trying to prevent you from reporting. Kha, sorry to bother you again, but can you analyze this monster and see what makes it tick? If we could develope a way to stop these things from regenerating or by quickly excising the evil within, the Church should be able to suppress it without much issue. The TSAB and the public must not know of this.
Kha: I understand the public but why the TSAB?
Car: Knowing Hayate...
Kha: ...she'd send her forces out there in an instant.
Car: Or worse split themselves in two and put themselves in greater danger on two fronts. I can't risk that...
Kha: I understand. Do you have a facility we could use?
Car: I'm afraid not. None of the research labs have been scheduled for use, so if one is suddenly requested it'll be very obvious.
Kha: Hmm...
Sof: Miss Carim?
Car: Yes, good Sister?
Sof: I think we can ask Aurion.
Kha: Sempai? I thought he was out of the country?
Sof: He's probably gone back to his home just out of town for a rest break and cola before he drags himself on that trip to nowhere. He's got a stocked workshop there he might be able to help.
Kha: We're going to have to find him first.
Sof: Hey you forgot who's got the top grades for divination here?
Art: As if there was anything you didn't get top for, maybe in the personality tests.

Sofie grinds her heel into Artei's foot, sending him jumping around in pain.

Kha: So it's settled then. Sophia, locate Aurion. Kaempfer, you take a buggy and head for Aurion's place. Once we find him, we'll explain then. I'll catch up with you all once I'm done.
Sof: Where are you going, Kha?
Kha: Keroko. She knows something about this.
Car: The one they call the Black Dragon. I've heard of her. Yes I think she'll be helpful. But I don't wish to--
Kha: She knows, my Cardinal.
Car: (agast) How's that possible?
Kha: That's what I'm about to find out. Rogue Squadron might have some dealings with these machines in the past, and I know a detachment was operating in Spinward space as our sting went ahead.
Car: I see.
Art: *stops jumping* Er... Miss Carim?
Car: Yes, Artei?
Art: Can we just take a look at all the data we've gathered so far? All through this mess I only got the foggiest of idea of what in heck we are doing, even with Boss' description and sharing.
Car: I agree.

A hour later, the Trinity has sifted through all the security videos, data feeds and transmission transcripts coming from that Church. Then, in a general database search, Artei stumbles upon a Device entry.

Art: Hey whaddaya know? Sofia's involved in this after all.
Sof: I AM NOT!
Art: Whoa there, hot shot. I never said it was you. Unless you're uh... guilty?
Sof: (Vericose vein) You...
Kha: What have you?
Art: This Boss (flips the hovering display around. It is the picture of a device with a familiar looking cross) Remember this thing on the wall?
Kha: Hmm... It is similar, but there's a small difference. Glock Heckler...?
Art: One of the latest entries here says that he's encountered 'skeletal machines' before and somewhat got out of it alive. Interestingly, he also encountered "flayer" type skulls as well.
Kha: Ah... (Still in thought) Where have I heard that name before...? (flashback)

Yuuno: Oh you mean Kaylin? She's not in at the moment. Some officer is profiling her at the moment.
Kha: She got into trouble again?
Yuu: No not since a long time. Just an old contact of hers really.
Kha: Oh. Do I know him?
Yuu: Glock Heckler from Investigations. Heard of him?

Kha: Kay!
Art: What's with that Oba-san again?
Kha: She knows Glock.
Art: Oh.
Kha: Can you go look her up at the Institute?
Art: WHAT?! No way. You know how well me and her devices hit it off...
Kha: I'd love to go myself, but time is of the essence, and only I can get through security into Rogue's base quickly.
Art: As you command Boss. I better bring cartridges... And logic shields for Zao...

Carim gets off the phone.

Car: Sorry to hurry you all, but there's a Circle meeting in the boardroom in 15 minutes time. I can't leave my office unlocked...
Kha: It's okay. We're leaving now.

Everyone starts gathering up papers.

Als: Ano... Oni-chan?
Kha: (kneels down to the 12 year old's height) What is it?
Als: What's my job?
Kha: You are to go home and keep Cass and Alex company. You weren't home last night while both of them had their day off so I think they'd be worried. We'll get you when we're moving out again.
Als: But Cass and Alex they are leaving...!
Kha: No buts alright? You've worked enough for the night. Go get some rest. Even if it's some time, it's still time. I'm sure Cass would appreciate it.
Als: (looks sad) Okay...
Kha: (brushes her hair) That's a good girl. (stands up) All set?
Everyone: Yes!
Kha: Move out!

The 21st set out in different directions, Sophia and Kaempfer with the machine for the scientist Aurion, Artei for the archaeologist Kaylin, Kha for the Rogue Squadron Honor's Hold Base, and little Allison to her foster home.

Cassandra: (Getting ready to leave for work. Alex has already left.) Hi honey. Something happened at the investigation?
Allison: Um, it's nothing...
Cassandra: (kneels down and hugs the girl) Now whats the problem?
Allison: Promise you won't tell anyone I told you this?
Cass: Depending on what it is Alex might have to know.
Allison: Erm... Okay... It's like this...

Meanwhile...

Carim paced about the still-empty boardroom, fretting. Her assistant wasn't about to arrive soon, but she had this feeling of unease. Something was missing...

In the end, she gave up. Just one more call...

Carim: Hello? Shin-chan? Is Miss Alexandra and Miss Anna there?

---End of Track 3---Track 4 - Report to Carim
Originally posted by Keroko

Keroko walks towards the St. Monarch Church, Kha in tow. At the moment she didn’t care one bit for discretion, Hayate’s mission had held her up longer then expected. She opens the doors to find a nervously passing Carim.

Carim: Keroko, I’m glad you could come on such a short notice.
Keroko: Don’t worry about it, I was going to tell you this when I came here, but the mission intervened. Then Kha told me they encountered more of those drone zombies.

*Both Carim and Keroko’s eyes flicker to Kha for a moment.*

Carim: Yes, he told me you had encountered these things before.
Keroko: Yes, but let’s take a seat. This will take a time to explain.

The trio sits down, and Keroko begins to explain.
Keroko: It all began during a small scouting mission on the 178th world….

*dreamy flashback sound can be heard.*

Keroko: All green in this sector, we should head back and regroup with the others. 178th planet seems clear for now.
Wes: (flying to her left) Roger that leader.
Rogue 4: Still, it’s amazing that Commander Hayate allowed you to come, I thought you were to busy with the new unit?
Keroko: It’s mostly training right now; and the occasional mission. It’ll be a while before we see any real action.
Rogue 6: Still, it’s great to have you flying with us again.
Rogue 8: Yeah, good to see Deathwing has lost none of her charm.
Rogue 7: Nor her cuteness.

Keroko: *sighs and opens a mental link* [Wes, they’re doing it to me again.]
Wes: [Well, you did up and leave one day after all. They’ve been bored ever since they had no-one to fuss over.]
Keroko:
Wes: [Torture, you mean]
Keroko: [Details. Into a fine unit, which is now amongst the elite in the TSAB, and what do I get in return? Pats on the head and comments on my ‘cuteness’]
Wes: [Well, you are the youngest in the squadron, even if you’re our commander. You’re like our little sister. *He looks at her with a grin* Our little Deathwing.]
Keroko: [… I hate you Wes.]

[I]*A burst of static interrupts any further conversation*
Rogue 12: Commander! We have possible problems, source is unknown but it’s certainly not of this world!
Keroko: Copy that twelve. Wes, Tycho, grab onto me. We need to hurry considering we’re farthest away.
Wes & Tycho: Ma’am!
Keroko: *checks whether the two are holding on tight before nodding* Artherion, cartridge load!
Artherion: [Hyperdrive.] *A huge red aura surrounds the trio and they blast of at incredible speed.*

They soon arrive to see the rest of Rogue Squadron assembled at what appears to be a cave mound.

Keroko: *Glances around* So what do we have?
Wes: Looks like a cave.
Tycho: *shakes head* That cave was not made by nature.
Wes: *Turns to Tycho* How so?
Tycho: *Points at the entrance walls* Those walls are too straight, only intelligent hands could carve something like this out.
Keroko: All right, let’s go in then.

The squadron enters into the cave. As they ascend deeper and deeper, they slowly begin to realize that this is more then just a cave. Strange pyramids seem to stand at selected places in the cavern, and the place radiated a certain aura of death.

Keroko: *murmurs* This is no cave… it’s like a tomb.
Rogue 4: Commander!

*A ripping sound can be heard*

Keroko: *Reacting in a reflex* Forcefield!

*The silent cavern turns into a mixture of ripping, cracking and banging sounds as a strange bolt of green energy makes contact with the red shield.*

Keroko: Take cover!
Tycho: *Ducks behind a nearby rock* What was that?!
Wes: From what I saw, gray, metal, and carrying a really big gun.
Keroko: Drones?
Tycho: They sure didn’t look like any of the ones you are hunting.

*more cracking sounds can be heard as multiple bolts start chewing up the rocks*

Wes: Dammit, there’s more of them?
Keroko: *leaps from behind the rock* Return fire! Snipe Shooter!

As one scarlet beam of energy surges forward and pierces three of the drones, many other multicolored bolts follow with a deafening roar.

Keroko: Press on! We need to know where the hell these things are coming from!

The full frontal wall of spells the Rogues weaved downed drone after drone. Despite the fat that the Rogues had no idea who they were up against, they seemed to be on the winning hand. Finally, the flow of drones seemed to stop.

Keroko: Two, Status!
Wes: twelve and thirteen took shots to the arm, and by the looks of it it’s very painful. Their weapons seem to flay the very flesh of ones bones. Four took a shot to the shoulder, and six was hit in the side. He’s going to need medical attention.
Keroko: *Sighs* Right, Five, patch them up for now. We need to find out where these things are coming from and get the hell out of here.
Rogue 5: I’ll get right on-

He is suddenly interrupted from finishing the rest of the sentence as a green burst of energy rips through his chest, setting his body ablaze with green energy. The rogues watch in horror as the skin is torn of his charred skeleton.

Keroko: Zhar!
Wes: Where the hell did that come from?
Tycho: Behind us!
Keroko: *Runs up to the standing metal skeleton and swings Artherion in an upward, lobbing of his head. She shifts the weight and rams the axe-like device through the side of its chest* Where was that bastard hiding!
Wes: Around us!

The Rogues watch in horror as several of the machines pulled themselves back together. Holes make by accurate shots close, tears are mended, some of the mechanic monstrosities even re-attach their own limbs as if they never even left their owner.

Keroko: Run! Blast a way through their lines, towards the exit!

A hail of spells once again blasted a hole in the line, but the Rogues, tired and wounded, can not fully escape the enemies, who are now closer then ever. One of the Rogues managed to get a little close to one of the drones. He prepares for a spell, expecting the machine to level his weapon at him and fire. Instead, the metallic zombie raises his weapon high and struck. Completely not anticipating the attack, the Rogue lost half his shoulder and was send skirting backwards, where another of the strange drones puts a foot on his chest, and applies enough pressure to instantly kill the man.

Keroko: *curses* How much farther!
Rogue 6: Just a little bit, around this turn and- aaaah!

A scream silences any more words, as a gigantic scythe pierces the man’s chest. Moments later he is ruthlessly tossed aside and a giant floating phantom comes into view. Cloaked in grey, the bottom tattered; a hood covers his face yet fails to hide a malicious grin, a scythe in hand.

For a moment, I was reminded of the earth tales of the grim reaper.

Keroko: *glaring at the newcomer* Wes, get them out of here.
Wes: Are you sure, Keroko? He looks different from the others. Stronger, too.
Keroko: That’s why I am staying and you are going. *shifts her glare to Wes* and that’s an order.
Wes: …. Yes ma’am.

Keroko: *Shifts her glare back to the hooded figure* Artherion, Ethereal Mode!
Artherion: [Activating.]

*The two blades on Artherion turn downwards until they’re both at a 120 degree angle, then a third blade appears at the top.*

Artherion: [Releasing seals.]

*A pattern of seals appear all over Keroko’s body, slowly they begin to fade*

Artherion: Seals released, starting Elthereal Mode.

*Two wrist guards appear to shield her wrist and forearm, and her skirt gains several armor plates. A diamond shaped hole appears in the cloth her back, from which two black ethereal wings sprout.*

As soon as I had finished shifting to Ethereal Mode, I immediately began casting an Ion Cannon Breaker. I was expecting the creature I was facing to attack, like its predecessors had done. I did not expect the creature to speak to me.

Hooded figure: Power… such dark power… you are an avatar, are you not?
Keroko: *blinks* What?
Hooded figure: Yes… I sense a power greater then yours, and yet you command it at will… identify.
Keroko: Keroko… Deathwing Keroko…

It was a simple error, a slip of the tongue. Yet the creature seemed to enjoy it.

Hooded figure: Deathwing… yes, I shall remember, and we shall meet again, deathwing.
Keroko: Like hell we will. Ion Cannon… BREAKER!!!!

*A huge explosion shakes the cavern as the red-black beam tears through its stone halls*

Keroko: Huff… huff…
Wes: Commander! Hold on, I’ll transport you to the ship!

*In the medbay*

Keroko: Thanks Griff.
Griff (Rogue 12): I’m no Zhar, commander, but I’m glad I could help.
Wes: So what now?
Keroko: *Sighs* Wes, you get this to the TSAB, as soon as you can. Contact Tycho, and send him to the Infinite Library. Tell Yuuno I send him.
Wes: And you?
Keroko: I’m going to Carim. She has to know about this too.
Wes: That serious?
Keroko: Wes, we just lost three Rogues! Three! Even against the Zerg we never lost three Rogues in a single battle. No, this has to go everywhere. The Velkan order has people I trust, and they need to know this too.

*Another dreamy flashback sound can be heard*

Keroko: And that’s how I came here. Unfortunately I only had enough time to warn Kha, luckily his team made it out better then mine.
Carim: Keroko…
Keroko: *clenching the fabric of her skirt* Three Rogues Carim. Zhar, Rutan, Reac, all three of them gone…
Carim: …
Kha: …
Carim: *walks over to the distressed girl and pulls her into an embrace* I know it hurts, Keroko. But remember, though you may have lost three friends, you saved nine others. You are not alone.
Keroko: *breaks down and starts crying on Carim’s shoulder.*

I'll be posting future SS in this thread so as to keep the OC thread on topic. I might turn this into a full fic someday, if I got time.

@others: Sorry I gtg uni now. I'll review them later alright?

Just wondering, where is this OC thread??? :confused: Keep going with it I like it!

LoweGear

2007-05-25, 06:44

Just wondering, where is this OC thread??? :confused: Keep going with it I like it!

That would be the Character Creation and Interaction (http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=47208) Thread here on the forums.

USB500

2007-05-25, 22:58

Nice!!! Enfield sort of reminds me of Caro and Shin reminds me of Chrono which I really don't know why. More importantly Yuuno is in there and got 2 seconds of narration :heh::heh::heh:

Ehehehehe, it was done on the spot, you see. So I didn't even have the time to double-check the file. :heh:

Yay it's cool! And I see how it mirrors, but using Unlimited Blad- I mean, Midnight Carnival right off the bat came to me as a big surprise. Alexandra's characterization was another surprise because I was expecting a Saber type personality. :p

I know I'm old, and that should've been a Kamen Rider ref, but somehow "It's Morphin Time!" kicked in in my head instead. :heh:

Where's Yuuno, S_K? I didn't even read him being mentioned. :heh:

I've been thinking that Sophia might well be Alexandra's nemesis, if you see her appearance in the Nanoha CrosiS SS being broadcast in the OC thread and then catch the references... :heh: Luckily they're both on the same side.

Over all very good! Let's see where this goes next.

Ahahaha, that Unlimited Blade reference was also done on the spot XD

Yuuno was briefly mentioned in the ending part of the chapter (Anna mentioned that she was bored because Yuuno was too busy working at the Infinite Library).

Well, I think Charter 2 might have to wait as my college's new term is starting in three days time, so I might be busy organizing my class schedules and stuffs like that.

S_K

2007-05-26, 07:12

Ehehehehe, it was done on the spot, you see. So I didn't even have the time to double-check the file. :heh:

Ahahaha, that Unlimited Blade reference was also done on the spot XD

Yuuno was briefly mentioned in the ending part of the chapter (Anna mentioned that she was bored because Yuuno was too busy working at the Infinite Library).

Well, I think Charter 2 might have to wait as my college's new term is starting in three days time, so I might be busy organizing my class schedules and stuffs like that.

Don't worry just take your time, because i'm looking forward to your fanfics :)

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-27, 01:35

New extremely interesting chapter on Satashi's story TSAB 6th Mobile Division. Chapter 4 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/4/) is out. For the fans of this fic: Don't read the 'preview'. It's painfully angsty.

Meophist

2007-05-27, 21:45

I modified part of chapter 1, rewrote chapter 2, and have an entirely new chapter 3 now:
http://yourupload.com/fh/download/243/story2.xhtml.html

Edit: I also gave each of the chapters names.
Chapter 1: Dragon
Chapter 2: The Beginning
Chapter 3: After the Fact

Liingo

2007-05-28, 06:22

Attention! Lyrical of Time is updated. Charter 01 (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3531569/2/) is up for reading. :D

Oooh, very interesting. I'll give you a konata good job pose!:D
Added to my watch list of fics to read.

Enfiled seems to be an interesting indivdual, the spell that she used was cool!

Kha

2007-05-28, 06:27

Oooh, very interesting. I'll give you a konata good job pose!:D
Added to my watch list of fics to read.

Enfiled seems to be an interesting indivdual, the spell that she used was cool!OMG RARE SPAWN! :D

And it's Enfield by the way. Yeah I certainly like the Unlimited Blade Wo--

*gets warped into another dimension*

@Meophist: Sorry man I still have trouble loading ur fic on my com...

Meophist

2007-05-28, 08:40

@Meophist: Sorry man I still have trouble loading ur fic on my com...Ah, what browser are you using?

Edit: Changing the file name to .html might help.

Kha

2007-05-28, 08:41

Ah, what browser are you using?IE 6? It just loads a pile of gibberish.

Meophist

2007-05-28, 09:18

IE 6? It just loads a pile of gibberish.
Ah, the one browser I can't test. If you can get it, Firefox and Opera should be able to show it. IE7 might too. I'll try to make an IE6-compatible version.

Edit: Sorry, is it possible to describe the giberish? Have you tried changing your encoding settings?

darkalpha

2007-05-28, 15:51

Originally, this character discussion was in the Character Discussion thread, but as it turned out it seemed more appropiate to discuss some of the elements in here, so here it goes.

While I haven't done any major fanfic writting in years, not since around 2000, so I'm obiviously rusty. However as I watched MGLN series, more I felt wanting to write a Nanoha fanfic, and last fall I came up with a premise that I just wanted to work with no matter what. I already have the general plot planned, I can't pin down the details because I keep on changing several elements that I feel necessary to improve or make the story more solid, which in turn affects the later story progress and so on. It's already underwent three major changes in the plot. I feel confident that there will be no more major changes, as I finally have found out exactly what I wanted to write about.

So my next issue is that until I can get my character changes down pat and feel comfortable with them, I feel that I can't make any progress on writing the actual story (I've already written two prologues, only to scrap them later on). So while I'll discuss the character modifications in the Character thread, I'll cover elements that infulences the said modifications in here since it's more appropiate here.

This fanfic is largely focused around Nanoha, as she comes into possession of a cursed lost logia. I'll keep the details of the lost logia secret for now, until I have a new prologue written. It divergences from around the end of A's anime, and takes place few years later. During that time span, a powerful magic user casts the Struggle Bind spell on her (like how Chrono cast it on the Masked Men in A's episode 9), which neturalizes her ability to cast Mid-Childa type spells, However due to circumstances, the user won't be able to remove the spell on Nanoha for years. To compensate for that, she learns how to use Velka-type magic to contiune fighting.

Now, from the character discussion thread, there seemed to be some issues with the application of the Struggle Bind spell. It's an important element behind the story, since it infulences the new direction in Nanoha's life in the fanfic, by simply denying her the ability to use all of the mid-childa magic she's used.

Based on my analysis of the Struggle Bind spell, it cancels out any active spells in use, as well as preventing casting of new spells, but does nothing to the linker cores, which is the source of all magic spells. You'll notice that the Lieze twins, who are actually familiars, still exist despite having the spell cast on them so obiviously their linker cores aren't affected directly, nor their ability to gather magic from their masters. Moreover so, during the conversation with Graham, the twins tried to convince Chrono to have the spell removed, which means Chrono must was still maintaining the sealing spell. That leads me to believe that this binding spell can stay in effect for as long as the caster wants (provided he/she has enough magic to sustain it). And since the SB spell is a Mid-childa spell, it likely would prevent only Mid-childa spells. Logically if you wanted to neturalize a spell type, you'd use a spell based on similiar foundation as the magic intended for neturalization. I seriously doubt SB is a spell that would be "one-fits-all" type, given the wide diversity of spell types in Nanohaverse. That's why I have Nanoha learning Velka spells later on. And finally, I also think the SB spell would only prevent the target from using Mid-childa spells, but not prevent other users of Mid-childa spells casting any type of Mid-childa spells on the target.

Is this analysis valid? The application of the SB spell is very important because as mentioned earlier, it's important element of the fic, as it will have a large impact on Nanoha's life.

Meophist

2007-05-28, 21:42

IE 6? It just loads a pile of gibberish.
Alright, I changed the encoding and also changed it to html so try this link (http://yourupload.com/fh/download/272/story3.html.html).

Keroko

2007-05-29, 03:29

This fanfic is largely focused around Nanoha, as she comes into possession of a cursed lost logia. I'll keep the details of the lost logia secret for now, until I have a new prologue written. It divergences from around the end of A's anime, and takes place few years later. During that time span, a powerful magic user casts the Struggle Bind spell on her (like how Chrono cast it on the Masked Men in A's episode 9), which neturalizes her ability to cast Mid-Childa type spells, However due to circumstances, the user won't be able to remove the spell on Nanoha for years. To compensate for that, she learns how to use Velka-type magic to contiune fighting.

Circumstances... can you elaborate? I can't really comment on it untill I know the circumsstances. :heh:

Now, from the character discussion thread, there seemed to be some issues with the application of the Struggle Bind spell. It's an important element behind the story, since it infulences the new direction in Nanoha's life in the fanfic, by simply denying her the ability to use all of the mid-childa magic she's used.

Based on my analysis of the Struggle Bind spell, it cancels out any active spells in use, as well as preventing casting of new spells, but does nothing to the linker cores, which is the source of all magic spells. You'll notice that the Lieze twins, who are actually familiars, still exist despite having the spell cast on them so obiviously their linker cores aren't affected directly, nor their ability to gather magic from their masters. Moreover so, during the conversation with Graham, the twins tried to convince Chrono to have the spell removed, which means Chrono must was still maintaining the sealing spell. That leads me to believe that this binding spell can stay in effect for as long as the caster wants (provided he/she has enough magic to sustain it). And since the SB spell is a Mid-childa spell, it likely would prevent only Mid-childa spells. Logically if you wanted to neturalize a spell type, you'd use a spell based on similiar foundation as the magic intended for neturalization. I seriously doubt SB is a spell that would be "one-fits-all" type, given the wide diversity of spell types in Nanohaverse. That's why I have Nanoha learning Velka spells later on. And finally, I also think the SB spell would only prevent the target from using Mid-childa spells, but not prevent other users of Mid-childa spells casting any type of Mid-childa spells on the target.

Possibly, but you forget that there is also a chance that Chrono would need to maintain a certain amount of concentration to keep the spell up, otherwise it would be a ridiculusely powerfull spell. Also, it would be logical that -just like any bind- outside sources can disable it. I think the idea is good, but the bind has to have something that makes it special. This could range from allergical reactions to Lost Logia interference.

Is this analysis valid? The application of the SB spell is very important because as mentioned earlier, it's important element of the fic, as it will have a large impact on Nanoha's life.

We can argue the details behind Strugle Bind untill there is no tommorow, but the basics are simple: A normal Strugle Bind will not do, as it is hardly a failsafe spell. There needs to be a special situation or element for Nanoha's Mid-Childa magic to be permanently sealed.

USB500

2007-05-29, 04:39

OMG RARE SPAWN! :D

And it's Enfield by the way. Yeah I certainly like the Unlimited Blade Wo--

*gets warped into another dimension*

so what did you find from the other dimension? :P

Okay, I only have one request here, and this is regarding Sleeping Lyrical:

The crews are going to have a cosplay party, and everyone's pretty much hyped up after the success of their stage play. One question remains: who or what are they going to cosplay? There's already a plan to cosplay as the pirates of Pirates of the Caribbean 3, but help is urgently needed here. :heh: onegai?

Okay, thanks.

S_K

2007-05-29, 06:13

I keep hearing about the unlimited blade thing. Can someone explain it to me please

LoweGear

2007-05-29, 06:22

I keep hearing about the unlimited blade thing. Can someone explain it to me please

That would be a parody of Unlimited Blade Works, Archer's signature attack from Fate Stay/Night. :)

Kha

2007-05-29, 06:34

so what did you find from the other dimension? :P

Okay, I only have one request here, and this is regarding Sleeping Lyrical:

The crews are going to have a cosplay party, and everyone's pretty much hyped up after the success of their stage play. One question remains: who or what are they going to cosplay? There's already a plan to cosplay as the pirates of Pirates of the Caribbean 3, but help is urgently needed here. :heh: onegai?

Okay, thanks.Holds up smelly glowing blue gunk.

Bluecheesium. :D

The full range of spoofs from Epic Movie? Spider-Nano? VA jokes? Lucky StrikerS? Fate Stay Night? Bleach? Dragonball? :uhoh: Naruto? :uhoh: :uhoh: Pokemon? :uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:

X-rate Barrier Jackets would be the best!

Audience: Yeah! Birthday suits!

(Runs from Triple Breaker Shoo-to and watches it tear up the audience.)

Its soo easy to get them killed... Talk about people dying to see something. :heh:

Liingo

2007-05-29, 09:04

Just a side note. Chapter 5 of Satashi's story 6th divsion is up on ff.net link below

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/5/

Interesting chapter indeed.

Fuyu no Sora

2007-05-29, 17:19

Just a side note. Chapter 5 of Satashi's story 6th divsion is up on ff.net link below

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/5/

Interesting chapter indeed.

Very interesting, although a little bit too angsty. As you might guess, I prefer romance.

darkalpha

2007-05-29, 18:35

Circumstances... can you elaborate? I can't really comment on it untill I know the circumsstances. :heh:

Possibly, but you forget that there is also a chance that Chrono would need to maintain a certain amount of concentration to keep the spell up, otherwise it would be a ridiculusely powerfull spell. Also, it would be logical that -just like any bind- outside sources can disable it. I think the idea is good, but the bind has to have something that makes it special. This could range from allergical reactions to Lost Logia interference.

We can argue the details behind Strugle Bind untill there is no tommorow, but the basics are simple: A normal Strugle Bind will not do, as it is hardly a failsafe spell. There needs to be a special situation or element for Nanoha's Mid-Childa magic to be permanently sealed.

In nutshell, Book of Darkness cast the Struggle Bind on Nanoha before it was destroyed, so there's obiviously quite a lot of power behind it. However we already know that the tome automatically resurrects itself so, much to Nanoha's dismay, the binding spell stays in effect. The source of the spell being a class AAA lost logia (I'm sure that's how the Tome of the Night Sky was ranked), it'd be pretty much high-impossible to find a way to cancel the spell, short of finding the resurrected tome and making it rescind the spell.

Nanoha WILL eventually come across the tome in the fanfic - just not during those first few years after A's.

stormturmoil

2007-05-29, 18:55

Slight problem there, Darkaplha...

If the tome of Darkness survives in any way, shape or form past A's (be it not properly taken over by Hayate or by reincarnating after the fact), Hayate HAS to die, and not in a pleasant way either. This is obviously going to significantly change things in the story, possibly to the point that rather than try and find a way around the bind, Nanoha might well just give up being a mage and retreat into seclusion.

In other words, you need to consider either finding a way around this somehow, or consider how this can be made to work for the story, or make the bind the work of something or someone else (possibly even the work of Raging Heart to try and keep her mistress from keep pushing herself to near destruction...)

darkalpha

2007-05-29, 19:40

@stormturmoil

The matter regarding Hayate already has been taken into account.

Meophist

2007-05-29, 19:48

@stormturmoil

The matter regarding Hayate already has been taken into account.
That sounds really evil.

…just saying.

darkalpha

2007-05-29, 20:24

Heh. I had meant to say that I already have taken the Hayate's situation into account, as she will not be present in the fanfic, at least not in the way readers would be expecting.

As soon as I have the modified Nanoha character down pat (specifically, her new combat style using Velka magic, as well as changes Raising Heart would have given Nanoha's usage of Velka magic) and the prologue written, which I can then link here, I'll be more than happy to discuss the story I have planned in detail. I feel that if I discuss more about the story now, then prologue wouldn't be as interesting to read.

An Hero in Disguise

2007-05-29, 22:12

Heh. I had meant to say that I already have taken the Hayate's situation into account, as she will not be present in the fanfic, at least not in the way readers would be expecting.

That didn't sound less evil somehow ... *imagines Hayate's gravestone* :uhoh:

BPHaru

2007-05-29, 22:42

Just a side note. Chapter 5 of Satashi's story 6th divsion is up on ff.net link below

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/5/

Interesting chapter indeed.

Another WIN!

Only chapter 6 and the epilog are left.

I need more more angsty, tragedy, and after that, a happy end =)

Saludos, Haru

darkalpha

2007-05-29, 22:54

Considering that Hayate is my favorite character from Lyrical Nanoha series, I'd love to keep her around in the fic (and yes, despite the ominious nature of my earlier statements, there IS a possibility for me to keep her around - just not in the way readers would expect, as I had mentioned earlier). :P

But the premise I am working has intrigued me so much that I don't want to leave it alone, regardless of what happens to other characters as result in the fanfic. Enough to drag me out of fic-writing hiatus.

An Hero in Disguise

2007-05-29, 23:03

Just a side note. Chapter 5 of Satashi's story 6th divsion is up on ff.net link below

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/5/

Interesting chapter indeed.

A cool one, sadly reminded me of the lack of real action in StrikerS though.

Kha

2007-05-30, 12:07

Reposted from OC Thread because this is also a ficlet:

For the first time in Animesuki's history, I present to you, a trailer for the upcoming release of Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha - The Chronicles of New Velka: CrosyS...

The OP!

Dawn breaks over Mid Childa...

Hanarete ite mo zutto
Chikaku ni kanjite unmei dakara

A black feather drifts out of the sky and lands on the tarmac of Velka SAR Yzak Air Base. Two gray-booted feet krumps to a stop next to it, and their owner picks it up. The camera follows the feather until Kha's face is seen, and he looks into the brightening morning sky...

[Rock Guitar Instrumental]

With a bang, the music starts. The background is a high speed running shot of MC Downtown’s skyline framed against the brightening horizon, while the title “Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha” in one line phases in. At the first drum crash, Keroko leaps past, adding “The New Velka Chronicles” in big letters under the small title. On the second crash, Hikki jumps down from the top of the screen and punches, flashing it back to the title, which has now appended “: CrosyS” to the right of the “Chronicles”.

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
The New Velka Chronicles: CrosyS

The images hangs around for a bit, then Kha’s Firehawk Stratofighter tears across, whiting out the screen with its afterburners as the last drum climax ends the instrumental.

Osanai mune no naka de

From left to right: Artei, Sophia, Kaempfer and Allison march out of the hangar and they meet their captain who greets them with a nod.

Tooku wo koto shiri sugita? Fuan da yo

We teleport to MC Honor’s Hold Air Base where the Rogue Squadron is based. Keroko, Wes and Tyco in tow, adjusts the straps on her half-finger gloves as activity goes on all around her. The camera cuts to her sealed device, which glints in reply.

Yukikau hitobito no

Blink and we’re in the Riot 6 lounge, where Shin-chan is enjoying his morning coffee with Hikki, Alexandra and Anna, who then wave at the camera.

Kao sae mienai kodoku doushite?

Phwing! We’re now aboard the “Gladius”, where Lucas, Angela, Rika and Hiro are discussing plans over a holographic war table, and Cassandra listens closely. At the “Doushite?” the image is overlaid on the left with a side profile of Cassandra’s face looking forlornly into the distance and Alex’s taking the split screen on the right.

Massugu na hitomi ni...

Shinji, Asuka and Rey in the hologram forms float behind their mother as Kaylin runs fruitlessly on the stop towards a shadowed profile of Glock in the foreground.

Tsubasa hiroge tabitatou

There is long trail of foot prints on a bright desert, and the camera pans until it shows David Brown, Bronzion Hammer on shoulder, soldiering on in the blazing heat. He’s not even bothered by the weather. But the sand shifts, and the Hammer comes off…

[Ascending music]

In rapid succession as the beat changes, Carim looks up from a video call, Kyla throws her hand out as she commands the Silvana ahead, and the 21st Trinity Optimus Velka Carryall soars into the stars.

[Chorus]

Asu e to te wo kazashita
Shinjite mite you are my precious

Hanarete ite mo zutto
Chikaku ni ite I miss you from my heart

Hikari michibiku hou e
Kimi to nara I'll be with you forever

[Destiny]
Vocals by: CHiYo
Originally From: Giniro no Olynssis

OC mad fight! Every single OC ever created in this thread darts left right center, hurling spells everywhere as the camera spins perspectives through dizzy curves, as the endless Necron hoard surge in the battlefield. But sometimes, something can be made out of the chaos. The Blue Flame Squad and Alex’s team combine attacks and combos the stiff Necron to pieces. There’s enough time for husband and wife to exchange glances, hook each others arms and Alex anc Cass lash out in a two-sided spin kick that crushes the skulls of two Necron Immortals. Alexandra slices through two Warriors, then sends a blast into a Flayer just as Anna throws a Meteor into an advancing platoon. Keroko and Kyla stand back to back unleashing rain of fire from their respective devices as Kaempfer, Gard Redel and his Zakum Troopers try and win air superiority against the black storm of Wraths. Artei holds his own dismembering another troop of Destroyers. Sophia launches Excalibur into the plague, then follows with an optic blast from her cyber scan unit. Arnie is behind her, both Gauss Flayers on full auto as the Friendly Necron tears through his former brethren with ease. Allie throws several fireballs, then makes quick work of her feet dodging a rabid Flayer, then spots an opening for her to tumble in and stab the machine with Parang, the magical dagger instantly dispelling all magic within the Necron and excising its soul in the process. Then David jumps in and slams the Bronzion hammer into the ground, rippling a massive shockwave throughout the desert.

Special Thanks
Skyfall
LoweGear
Aaron800R
Nightengle
USB500
Keroko
Fuyu no Sora
Ratler
Saint X
KBTKaiser
Erio
stormturmoil
Darkalpha

and many others...

Kiseki no naka ni yadoru
Chikara shinjite unmei dakara

Kha stands alone, eyes closed, listening to the howls of machines everywhere, camera spinning around and around at the closing horde. The camera stops, and he opens his eyes; The Necron Lord steps up and raises his staff. The Cleric-knight shifts his stance such that his spear points forward, the Gotteliches Rapier buzz on, the Velka triangle spring out from underneath him, exploding with blue maryoku as the camera zooms into his eyes which go black from Avenging Zorn…

[Closing guitar instrumental]

Even more battle, this time with grainy images, of random moments taken from the OCs’ collective pasts.

Then just as the stanza closes, we flash back to Kha, who swings Tausend Kreuz back and fires thrusters to charge, freezing the image with the guitar strum with a crammed watercolor of him in his charging pose, his Trinity charging out from the flanks, and all over Ocs burst out from the crowd behind him.

Original Production Animesuki OC Thread ProjectText-based opening theme ficlets were one of my most daring but successful experiments in FF.net. But this was a remarkable challenge because of the sheer number of characters to consider. The chorus changes ever episode (There's that many OCs to feature) so even if they aren't in this one they'll be in the next, or the one after that. :heh:

I chose Destiny for its great beat. This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0rynwjQbLM) on j00t00b helped me get started. Hope you guys like it!

darkalpha

2007-06-01, 11:04

I know I had planned to work on a new version of the prologue for my story concept and link it for further discussion, but it seems that won't be possible as I'm considering scrapping it, or at least put it on hold.

Ever since I came up with the premise, I can't seem to get a solid idea of what I want to do with it. Right now, I have story elements that I want to work with (I.e., certain events that makes the idea develop or unfold), but I can't come to a settlement of what to use to make those elements happen. Its possible that the idea I have is too broad, which would explain why I've revised the premise 3 times already. I'm trying to keep the story focused and simple, but I keep on adding more elements that only makes the story more complicated and so on until its too long or complex that I end up discarding it in favor for more simpler focus.

I'm at loss of how to handle this problem. I just keep coming up with ideas, but nothing solid enough to make a solid story to work with.

S_K

2007-06-01, 18:36

USB500

2007-06-01, 20:54

Yezzah! I have finally returned from 3 days of absence, and I am now off to kill backlogs! *equips rocket-propelled chainsaw*

Holds up smelly glowing blue gunk.

Bluecheesium. :D

The full range of spoofs from Epic Movie? Spider-Nano? VA jokes? Lucky StrikerS? Fate Stay Night? Bleach? Dragonball? :uhoh: Naruto? :uhoh: :uhoh: Pokemon? :uhoh: :uhoh: :uhoh:

X-rate Barrier Jackets would be the best!

Audience: Yeah! Birthday suits!

(Runs from Triple Breaker Shoo-to and watches it tear up the audience.)

Its soo easy to get them killed... Talk about people dying to see something. :heh:

VA jokes? I think that would be awesome XD XD Let's see.... Nanoha cosplays as Mai (Kanon), Fate as Hinata (Naruto), Hayate as Yumi (Maria-sama), Vita as Dejiko, Signum as Noriko (Maria-sama), Shamal as Eruru, Reinforce Zwei as Aruru, Reinforce Original as Madlax....

Woops, I said too much.

Audience: VA JOKES FOR THE WIN!!!!!!

*Vita kills audience with Raketen Hammer*

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions. Really appreciate it :D/.

Flyvedelta

2007-06-03, 14:50

Another WIN!

Only chapter 6 and the epilog are left.

I need more more angsty, tragedy, and after that, a happy end =)

Saludos, Haru
OMG SKEITH 0.0;
Maybe it'll end after defeating Corbenik LoL
Edit+
Just reading chapter 6. . . The author is. . .Genius. . . --;

USB500

2007-06-04, 21:51

Hurray! The Sleeping Lyrical finally ends! Officially! You can check the final chapter here. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3446129/8/)

Phew, that was worth the hard works. Hope everyone's happy with the presentation. :)

Kha

2007-06-05, 10:52

Aw... The fun's over. But it was good while it lasted. And +50 with the Shamal doujin line ref. :D See ya in Lyrical of Time! :D

Btw, if you really need Rein 1 to be around, remember you can always call Sophia to summon her from the Unlimited Imperium Vault. :D

BPHaru

2007-06-05, 13:59

Finally, epilogue of Satashi's fic 6th divsion is out:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3502592/7/

Bon Appétit

Saludos, Haru