Claymore Fanfiction Discussion [Archive]

Defiled one

2007-06-07, 09:23

This thread is to be used for Claymore Fanfiction and its discussion. Fanfiction can be posted in this thread or in the Fan Creations Forum (http://forums.animesuki.com/forumdisplay.php?f=14) and linked to in this thread. Obviously posting in the Fan Creations Forum (http://forums.animesuki.com/forumdisplay.php?f=14) gives you more chances for your fic to be noticed. It also allows you to revise your work more easily since it has its own thread. You may also link to fanfiction posted on other sites and discuss them in this thread.

I think there should be some "common sense rules"

1- Only use knowledge of the current episode in order to avoid spoilers, that means no characters that haven´t appeared yet. If you are planning to use characters or knowledge that have not appeared then please obscure your story with a spoiler tag.

2- No XXX stories, I think some romance is good and I don´t mind if it deals with same gender relations but please... decency!!

3- The best fanfic has characters who stay in character. Also, please remember the limitations of humans when it comes to fighting Youma or Claymores.

4a- Original characters are best in support positions. If they can outfight or outperform the existing characters then it is often annoying.

4b- Remember that and original character being "lovey-dovey" with any of the existing crew, leads to "Gary Stues" and "Mary Sues" and we all know how annoying those are! Please strive to write good fanfics!

And now my fanfic... :sad:

95
Small droplets of watery dew glistened away from the warrior silvery armor as it marched away.
Like a ghost coming from the clouded mist of the forest, the young woman was expressionless when she sighted the first humans.
“It´s a claymore…”Murmured one of the youths that observed her from afar.
“She looks so pretty…” Added another one as villagers gathered around.
The tall warrior just continued to walk, not caring for the murmur until she entered a tavern and silence, was made.
The villagers just stopped eating; some even spilled their drinks as the silver eyed witch glared her surroundings before taking a seat, near a window.
“HEY! Nobody serves here?!” She added with sarcasm, sighing from boredom while quickly drawing the attention needed to be served. After all, Claymores pay very well.
Helen continuous rambling over food was an obsession and when she ate, she really ate.
“Delicious steak…” She mumbled while inhaling the sweat aroma of a well cooked meal for the first time in months of food celibacy.
But a girl, that couldn´t be older than 15 winters stood there, sadly observing her from the outside window. Even when the rain poured, the girl continuous and sorrowful stare did not budge away.
And Helen`s curiosity also reached it´s peek when she observed the thin figure being driven away by the tavern owner, pushing and kicking and hitting as the girl fell in to the soaked ground until….
“Take it…” The Claymore added, throwing a small sack of gold in to the man`s feet.
“For the two of us of course” The Claymore perky grin was threatening while kneeling down in front of the girl, picking her before entering the tavern and force her, to sit down and eat, Helen´s untouched food.
“Eat up girl, it isn´t poisoned you know” She added with a smile, rolling her eyes upon seeing the villagers disgust and departure.
The girl ate and ate until she was full and Helen quickly picked the silent girl by the hand.

“Do you have anyone?” The Claymore asked until she saw, the lowering of the girl head.

The evening was already finished and the girl continuous coughs and trembles made it clear, she had no one. Helen however, just picked her by the hand, fuming while ordering a maid to bring some clothes and warm some water.
“Let´s get you warm…” Helen´s melted voice captured the brown and moistened eyes of the girl that smiled with such happiness and adoration to Helen. It looked like she had never met anyone that cared for her. Helen was like an angel to her.
“Than...k you…” She mumbled in a dry voice, eagerly glancing to the reactive claymore upon seeing the new clothes and the warm thought of water.
Helen wasn’t thinking of sleeping in there, but the girl…those eyes…Helen was moody again as Deneve criticized. But Deneve wasn’t here in the first place.
While inside the room, Helen positioned her sword in to the ground before seeing the girl again. Now completely cleaned and warmed while bearing a small smile, she tried to kneel down to the woman.

“Sleep in the bed…” Helen murmured while crouching in the ground before the girl…began to behave in a tearful way.
Not from the sadness itself but from having a warm meal and a bed to sleep. Those moistened brown eyes were still crying before the girl, almost in an apologetic way, talked again.

“I promise…That, I won´t bother you…anymore…” She added sadly, thanking over and over the claymore before coughing again.

“Just keep yourself warm okay?” Helen however, took seriously the girl words and when she lied down, Helen stood besides her.
“Why didn´t you tell me?” She asked while brushing the girl`s hair.
“I wanted…I wanted to know that, at least someone was nice to me. Even if they were faking….”

“I already knew…” Helen voice was very slow and serene, almost like it was trying to avoid hurting her…”That you were sick, by the way you breathed….” Helen smile, even if forced, had genuine intentions.
As the girl trembles increased and sleep was taking her over she asked “Will it hurt…? Will it hurt?” The girl asked over and over, hoping to receive an answer while Helen stroked her hair.
“It won´t hurt…I promise, it will be good. There`s food and beds and friends…” She tried her best to avoid hurting the girl while seeing her smile. Never fading those moistened eyes to her that knew, very well, she was lying.
“I know….” She whispered while inhaling quietly…”That you are a nice person, I always knew you were good persons…” She cried silently.

“My name is Helen…” She murmured to the girl, hoping to make her divert her attention away to the pain…
And the night carried slowly as Helen, stood by her side.

When morning came, it could illuminate the whiteness of the single sheet that covered a fragile body. She didn`t survived the night.
“I never asked your name….” Helen whispered, calmly reflecting her thoughts near the window.
”I´m so clumsily…” She concluded while covering her eyes, turning to the window once again before glancing, to the morning sun and to some children playing below.
“It´s still a beautiful day…” She added as water droplets fell, in to the wooden floor of the room.

The End.

It happens before the awakened hunt when Helen first comes to the town. hence explaining why Helen speaks of Raki so much. :sad:

Tempest35

2007-06-07, 10:35

Bravo~! Really nice one even though it was melacholy (but hey, that's the kind of world they live in). And Helen has such a sweet side to her, we just haven't really seen it yet. :D

:bow:

Negativedark

2007-06-07, 12:24

Nice. Considering the settin for Claymore, Yoma really aren't the only thing that can kill you.
I may try my hand at one a little later. It'll be what Teresa was thinking in the inn between the time Claire fell asleep, and when the other Claymores arived.

Hey, a Mary Sue in a Claymore fanfiction, could in fact be named Mary Sue, due to the naming conventions for Claymores!

Kinematics

2007-06-07, 12:43

The editor in me desperately wants to fix the writing, but this isn't the FFML. Still, quite a nice little story.

Defiled one

2007-06-07, 12:53

It was the fastest thing I ever did in such small period of time. What did you expect? A Tolkien saga :heh: ?

HinaThePrince

2007-06-07, 12:59

Sweet story. Helen is love. I disagree with one rule, though - I think posting fics that include characters that haven't been introduced in the anime yet should be fine, as long as the story will be posted under a spoiler tag.

Defiled one

2007-06-07, 13:06

SimplyEd

2007-06-07, 15:27

Nice one, Defiled one^^ Keep on truckin' :D

Mandrake

2007-06-08, 19:57

All these hot days gave me quite an opportunity to lay down in the garden and relax, daydream scenarios. I'm considering making a spin off chapter for claymore, new characters...but from the older generations:twitch:

Hmm, maybe the heat got to me.

Negativedark

2007-06-08, 20:55

I know what you mean. I came up for an idea to tell one from the Yoma's point of view.

Tempest35

2007-06-08, 23:07

...just for that, I think I'll do one for Priscilla. Everyone's fave Miss Justice Claymore-turned-Awakened deserves one. Well, 2nd Fave. :D 1st one is....*shhhh*

And Raki needs one to. We need to make him cooler...somehow. :eyebrow:

We can get to all the yuri goodness later...plenty of time for that.

Defiled one

2007-06-09, 05:09

Tempest35

2007-06-09, 10:17

...Or the Claymore Pimp. :D

Defiled one

2007-06-09, 10:26

Only in parodies :heh: only in parodies. Cause in there even a chicken can pimp him.

I´m thinking of writing one, but I don´t have the guts to actualy put it down.

Negativedark

2007-06-11, 21:00

Well here's my promesed Teresa one. Nothing too spectacular. Just stream of conscusness for Theresa after Claire falls asleep in the inn.

“Teresa can I sleep with you? Can I?”
“But there are two beds? Why squeeze into one? Hey…”
Heh. She said she didn’t need a bed but she fell asleep the moment she lay down on one. Must have been rough sleeping on the ground. Sleep well. We’ll rest here a while. I need to decide what to do next. If it was just me I’d probably find some secluded place in the mountains. All of us know places like that, you find them when you travel all over the land. Somewhere only you know about. But you shouldn’t live in seclusion with just me Claire. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind it, but you deserve better. You deserve everything. there are some things I can do for you. I think no matter where we end up you need to learn to read and write, and to do math.
Heh. I sound like a mother. But maybe this is what it’s like to be one. Even though you are not of my flesh, and my blood does not flow through your veins, I would call you my daughter. We haven’t known each other long, and only became united because of our mutual pain. Despite this there is nothing more important to me than you. I don’t mind that I’m on the run from the organization, or that you depend so much on me. I don’t even mind that your drooling on my leg right now. For you I would do anything. For you I must live.
I saw it in your eyes. You probably haven’t even realized you want it yet have you, Claire. The one thing I will never permit you to do. A part of you is already thinking, “I want to be like Teresa.” Over my dead body. A life as one of us isn’t even really a life. More like purgatory. I’m sure that if I had submitted to execution those bastards would have dragged you off, and would be cutting you open right now. If they ever get a hold of you, and harm you in any way I’ll kill them all, and nothing will stop me from getting you back Claire.
Your shift your head on my lap and settle deeper into slumber. And it makes me wonder. It’s still so amazing. To make me cry. To make me truly smile. To change everything. Teresa, of the faint smile they call me. The number one warrior in the organization, the strongest. All of that was always so meaningless to me. Truthfully I hated myself. Their was no point. Kill the Yoma, people would still hate me because I was half Yoma, or because the organization would force them to pay more than they could afford. I even hated you when we first met. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Now I live for you Claire. I don’t want anything to ever happen to you again, and to ensure that, I must live.
Three Strange Yoma aura’s just entered town. I guess we won’t be able to rest after all.

Well there it is. Not sure that I was able to really capture Teresa's voice. I may write some more, as I have several idea's including one from the Yoma's point of view, Galatea in a situation reminicsent of her namesake, and a really short one thatadressess the burning question, just what does Riful see in Dauf anyways?

SimplyEd

2007-06-12, 03:27

That made me all teary again, Negativedark *sniff* Nice one! ;)

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-14, 10:07

Defiled one

2007-06-14, 11:05

Gender bend him. The only way.

Negativedark

2007-06-14, 11:53

Well...
I thought he was okay when he was bieng cut up by Ophelia. When he realized his crying out in pain was distracting Claire he stopped. That was actually kinda cool. I mean he was doomed, but at least he did something cool. Plus his determination to be of help to Claire no matter what.

stormy001_M1A2

2007-06-14, 19:23

That shows him how much character he has in him.

Negativedark

2007-06-16, 23:14

Okay, I have two ideas for Claymore fanfiction floating around in my head. I could do either one, so I'll let the people here decide.
One has Galetea sent on a somewhat different job- Art Model. Belive it or not this is going to be a serous story.
The other will be about Raphelia, and Lucerea, before Lucerea's awakening.
So anyone got any preferences?

dutchman

2007-06-17, 00:31

Anh_Minh

2007-06-17, 03:09

One more vote for Miss Claymore.

Negativedark

2007-06-17, 08:47

Gee, why is this not surprising. Well I probably won't start until tommorrow at the earliest. Anyone who want's the other one, there is still time to pitch in.

SimplyEd

2007-06-17, 08:58

Yes, i'm a sucker for the sisters! My vote is on them.

Tempest35

2007-06-17, 09:12

Fanfiction's got a Claymore tab up now. Three good ones there - especially the Helen/Deneve one. :D

HinaThePrince

2007-06-17, 09:18

Fanfiction's got a Claymore tab up now. Three good ones there - especially the Helen/Deneve one. :D

Where's the Helene/Deneve one? O=

You guys HAVE to check out the Teresa/Clare 30 sentences thingy. It's so horrible it's funny.

Tempest35

2007-06-17, 09:37

Girl Talk is the one. :D

Negativedark

2007-06-17, 10:59

Fanfiction's got a Claymore tab up now. Three good ones there - especially the Helen/Deneve one. :D

Been forever since I posted anything there. I figure I'll see if I can't put my stuff up on there sometime.

HinaThePrince

2007-06-18, 09:18

Girl Talk is the one. :D

But weren't they talking about what guys to screw? How is that Helen/Deneve? o.o

Negativedark

2007-06-18, 11:53

Considering how Helens first lines were about Raki being Claire's "plaything", not too far off. Helen does seem to be one of the more uninhibeted Claymores in the cast.

By the way, Ms. Claymore won. My next fanfiction will be about her.

SimplyEd

2007-06-18, 14:01

By the way, Ms. Claymore won. My next fanfiction will be about her.

*snip* Why is there no love for the sisters? :D

Tempest35

2007-06-18, 14:22

But weren't they talking about what guys to screw? How is that Helen/Deneve? o.o

Well, it was those two characters right? or is their some corralation between 'x' versus '/' between character names that I'm unaware of...?
I never said that it was a shoujo-ai themed fanfic... :heh:

HinaThePrince

2007-06-19, 09:04

Well, it was those two characters right? or is their some corralation between 'x' versus '/' between character names that I'm unaware of...?
I never said that it was a shoujo-ai themed fanfic... :heh:

Slashes and x's mean the characters are paired up. So yeah, you did say that, whether you were aware of it or not.

Negativedark

2007-06-19, 09:13

I've started on my fanfiction, and finished the prolouge. Now I plan to do seven more sections, each equvelent to one day. Hopefully I'll get one done a day. The question I have is do you want me to wait until I finish to full story to post it, or do you want me to put of the rough chapters as I finish them?

SimplyEd

2007-06-19, 13:00

NoSanninWa

2007-06-19, 14:24

If it is going to be that huge, please post in the Fan Creations Forum with a link to it here. Otherwise it will absolutely clog the thread.

Negativedark

2007-06-19, 18:36

Well I doubt it will be that big. For one thing the individual sections aren't going to be more than a page or two, double spaced in word. Also I may end up shortening it to less sections if I run out of idea's. I'll wait until it's done, and see how large it ends up.

Now for an exerpt from the Claymore fanfiction I hope is never written, but know will be.

Mib1-This is truly the organizations darkest hour. We must use HER!
Mib2-You can't mean the special rank 0 Claymore... MARY SUE!
Mib-Yes, she of the awsome skills and utter perfection, that everyone LOVES!

NoSanninWa

2007-06-20, 00:11

Actually it might be fun for someone to write that fanfic. :D If done right, it'd be a parody of Claymore and fanfiction rolled into one.

Defiled one

2007-06-20, 05:10

I prefer the fallen ones. You can´t really be a good guy in Claymore.

Negativedark

2007-06-20, 08:40

Actually it might be fun for someone to write that fanfic. :D If done right, it'd be a parody of Claymore and fanfiction rolled into one.

LOL. Anyone else ever read an Neon genesis Evangelion fan fic called "A Self Insert That Wasn't Right"? That really nailed self inserts. Maybe one day I will write the Mary Sue. After I do the Hot Springs episode.

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-20, 11:09

I got a good idea berserk/claymore crossover

NoSanninWa

2007-06-20, 14:58

Maybe it is just my personal preference, but I've never liked crossover fics. I find that they reek of fanboyism. It is as though the writer finds that the idea of putting cool characters together is unavoidably cool, but they just don't fit. Different worlds simply work differently. Isn't one world at a time good enough?

Well, that's just the impression I take away from the experience when I encounter a crossover.

Tempest35

2007-06-20, 15:07

*still has nightmares of 'Tekkadread' :twitch:*

Crossing Claymore would be hard if you bring people into the Claymore world. Case in point - Berserk. As strong as Guts is, having him waking around, taking out Awakeneds, training Raki to become Chibi Guts, going after Abyssal Griffith...ain't gonna work...
Give the girls a break and take them out of Claymore - I'd think that would be much better if crossover ideas take root.

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-20, 15:11

NoSanninWa

2007-06-20, 15:45

It depends on what kind of crossover usually good crossovers are worlds that work in similar ways like berserk and claymore.
I agree with Tempest35. I'd also like to say that when you simply enough to say that those worlds work in similar ways, most of the time you are merely ignoring important differences.

Negativedark

2007-06-20, 18:02

I'm also somewhat against Crossovers. Although I do enjoy Super Robot Wars.

Tempest35

2007-06-20, 18:29

Now, if you make the shady Org somehow be in reality the world dominating ACROSS, and Excel is the newest Rank 47...then we might have something here - pure unadulterated insanity.

If you want to cross over, then cross over. Me I'm staying right here, awaiting healthy doses of cleavage and you get both kinds in Claymore - how much more win is that? :D

The thing is with Claymore and crossovers - Claymore is on a different operating level. For one thing (and the main issue) - in Claymore, guys sux. I mean, really sux. Even Gaul in eps 3-4, who did pretty well all things considered, still sux. So much so that a young human FEMALE (Priscilla) got more pwnage than he did.

So about 90% of Shounen won't work with that since it's guys who take the lead and who are getting the uber skillz.

Mixing it with shows that lean towards the more yuri side of life is a 'mrrr'. Only mrr as in, yeah you can write a story, but who's going to want to see Teresa-oneesama cuddling her kohai Clare underneath a tree with little songbirds flirting around the flowers? That's a 'KYAAAA~!' for like two seconds before -.- /sadfase.

SimplyEd

2007-06-20, 20:00

Well, i decided to contribute at least a tiny little snippet to this thread. It's not exactly much. To be more precise, it's a tag along to something that i came up with while i was analyzing the mentality of an Awakened for the bio thread.
It's probably not fanfic per se, but it also didn't really fit into the other thread, so..

Musings of the other side
.....

...

..Oh? Good

What was that just now? Feels so good

That is strange..my head feels so numb..and..what's that sweet taste in my mouth? More

I'm..alone. There's nobody here. All alone, again. Always...why? Where are the others? Did they leave me behind..again? You want more

Ughh..my head feels like it's about to burst..but..no. There's no pain. I feel... You feel

I..feel..I..who am i? Deidre

Number 35. Generation 49. Deidre

What was my mission? What am i doing out here? Feed

Ah..yes..yes..the youma. They were slaughtering those traveling merchants..we had to protect them. Feed

We...where are all the others? There's nobody here? No longer Where is everybody? So tasty but not enough

The sweet taste is gone. Nothing left I don't want it to be gone. You want more I have to find the others..I.. Deidre

That is my name. Always. That was always my name. The only thing that was always..I am Deidre

You are..I..oh! Disgusting

There are the others! They smell so disgusting

They taste so awful..huh?.. I have no use for them. They can't feel it. So weak, so small. So easy to break.

What? Why have they left already? All too easy. So weak.

Why did they look so scared? It's the same look. Oh! Yes that's right. Back then they looked the same! Yes

Why did they look the same? They don't feel it. They don't want to feel it. So weak.

Yes, back then, i see.. I am Deidre

Back then, there was no reason to hold back any longer. I was so foolish. Trusting in this weakness, trusting in the others.

There were no Youmas. Only a few merchants. Only this...thing. The others. They just ran away. So weak. Why were the others so weak? Why was I ...?! So weak.

It was just a tiny flicker of a moment but i felt that there was no longer any need to hold it back any more, the power, the joy, the freedom. Everything.
It was flooding every single part of my body. The surge. It is with me, always.The other..that thing. It was weak, so weak.
No sadness,no fear, no remorse. I left all of that behind. I am Deidre. I am strong. I have awakened. I am.

Kinematics

2007-06-21, 14:01

Very nicely done. Bravo.

Negativedark

2007-06-21, 17:48

Intersting one. I like it.

Tempest35

2007-06-21, 20:55

I guess it's my turn now. ^^ Takes place just before our Fab 4 take on the Male Awakened. Miria's thoughts.

Rank 47 – although I did not show it on my face, I was astounded. She, who scarcely a few weeks ago, dispatched four mid-tier youma with ease was the lowest amongst us? I could not believe it. Something was definitely wrong here but at the time, I could not fathom what that could be. How could that poise and confidence, that overwhelmingly powerful aura I felt radiating from her that day belong to one who occupied the lowly rank of 47?

I felt my initial misgivings mirroring that of Helen, ranked 22nd amongst us, but I knew that something was up. It had to be. There’s no way that my eyes, my senses could been fooled that day. Whoever she truly was and whatever it was that she was hiding my curiosity demanded that I find out just what that may be.

Being the lowest number, of course Helen hazed her constantly. Even Deneve had some words to say about her and even though I ignored it as best I could, I felt slightly irritated at the general fact that we would bicker so easily about anything whenever we grouped together. Even so, when I heard Clare grab for her sword yet again, I sighed. The young boy she had brought with her seemed to be the hot topic of the Awakened Being hunt; every hunt has one and it is usually at the expense of the lowest ranked. Even as Helen and Devene made their complaints about her vocal once again, I found myself not listening to them at all but drawn to her diminutive figure between them. God, her eyes… They couldn’t see but I could. Deep down, I felt my innermost self shiver at the barely suppressed rage in those bright silver orbs. For a moment, a tiny part of me wanted to unleash all that glorious anger upon the other two, to glimpse that enticing overwhelming power in action with my own two eyes. Instead, I berated them yet again to let the matter of her joining us rest. Even as I said that, I realized that I did not want to wait any longer. I wanted to test her - to take the full measure of this enigma in my own way.

While Helen went to get food and Deneve rested inside the cave I found, I approached her, both our swords in my hands and threw her hers. Combat - it was the quickest way and I had to know once and for all - this was a perfect opportunity. Sparring with her in the rain, while it provided me with her sword skill level, did nothing to appease my curiosity. I felt nothing of that powerful aura. No great technique came into play. No superb swordsmanship. Even as we sparred, she moved…strangely, as if she was trying to use a different style from what was taught us. Her eyes rarely left my own, staring at me with such an intense concentration I never have felt or seen before. I ended the match quickly, not wanting to drag it out further than it already had. Or was it to prevent being drawn in…but drawn in by what? Was I the one who retreated from that match even though I had the upper hand? Impossible.

I left her where she had fallen and walked back into the cave, my own mind split on the decision to the question proposed by the two of them yet again. They’ll never let a moment slide to remind me that she was Rank 47 and that her dismal performance just now fit that ranking. I should have sent her away, but I didn’t. Even though the right thing to do would be to send her away, I refused, much to Helen’s chagrin. I knew that I was pushing my luck but maybe that power would come into play against the Awakened One. It was quite a gamble but one I felt I could work comfortably with. If worse came to worse, my technique should be enough to take out the Awakened One.

I look at them as they sleep. Deneve, her back against the rocky wall resting her sword along her shoulder…Helen sprawled out comfortably on the ground, hands behind her head. She even snores, the loudmouth. Figures she can’t keep quiet even while sleeping. I glance back outside as the rain continues to beat mercilessly against the slender form still outside. Staring at Clare’s rain-soaked and forlorn body, my eyes barely registered her slight breathing. Could she be dreaming? With a light sigh, I rest my back against my sword, impaled in the ground as is customary and close my eyes. Even now, my mind goes back to our first meeting as she appeared to me – gratingly self confident, and yet I feel an odd tingle race up my spine with just remembering that sensation. I can’t believe I am admitting this but maybe it is why I have been so preoccupied with her. I want to see that power…her power…for myself.

I want you to know who you really are, Rank 47. I won’t rest until I do.

NoSanninWa

2007-06-22, 00:25

Very nice story indeed. That is so much Miria's "voice" that I can really believe that was in her mind at the time.
With what we learn about Miria's tactics during the Northern Campaign it really does seem perfectly in keeping with her character. Much more so than merely obeying orders or not caring about the fate of a weakling.

TinyRedLeaf

2007-06-22, 03:20

"No one knew from whence they came. We only knew when people started dying.

"The first deaths occurred in the pleasure districts. No one cared about the loss of one or two streetwalkers. But then, young nobles, hotbloods eager to sow their seeds, also began disappearing, only to turn up a few days later, their bodies torn beyond recognition.

"Whispers of anxiety became murmurs of fear, which grew eventually into a swell of full-blown panic. By then, it was clear that a monster walked among the people, undetected and unknown. Not surprisingly, those who could do so, fled the city. First a trickle, then a flood. More people died in the ensuing stampede than had died in the hands of the unseen monster.

"It was clear that the Emperor had to do something, or risk losing the capital. A quarantine was imposed, and martial law declared. The Temple Knights were called upon to hunt the monster, and to destroy it with extreme prejudice.

"We could not have known how many demons we truly faced. Through the folly of our actions, we turned a city of half a million souls into a macabre buffet for the hidden host that soon revealed themselves from among our midst.

"Grandia, the citadel of the East, the mighty bastion that withstood a thousand sieges — it fell in a matter of days, a ruined city wiped clean of all life.

"The plague had come. May God have mercy on our souls."

— Chronicles of the Fall

“Sir! Captain Isley! A message from His Eminence!”

The silver-haired knight turned wearily to receive the messenger. The dust and blood from last night’s battle still clung to his cloak and armour. His surviving troops had bivouacked in the rock-strewn valley, finding what shelter they could to avoid the howling winds that swept through the mountains.

Two weeks ago, Isley led a company of a hundred men into Darufar, to hunt the Youma that the Church’s “eyes” had detected. Out of the hundred, twenty-seven were killed outright, while a further forty-two now lay injured or dying in the shadows of the valley. Few, if any, would live to see another dawn.

So many lives lost, for just one monster destroyed. The price — it’s too high, Isley thought bitterly, as he took the parchment from the messenger’s hands.

The message was terse, written in the Bishop’s spidery handwriting. During these troubled times, courtly niceties were a thing of the past. A look of grim resignation spread across the young captain’s face as he read the note. Whatever it contained, it was not good news.

“Dauf, gather the men. We have been summoned back to Starfall.”

NoSanninWa

2007-06-22, 04:42

I'd have to say that there is a minor spoiler hidden in that fanfic, but I suppose I'm not feeling picky enough to punish you for it right now. It is really minor and most of the story is invented by you, but you're writing about a relationship that hasn't yet been revealed in either the anime or the Viz translation of the manga. Please put an appropriate spoiler tag on that before I wake up in the morning and we'll just pretend it didn't happen.

Aside from that, I'd have to say that it is an interesting take on what might have existed in the days before there was an Organization. I look forward to seeing how you develop it.

Tempest35

2007-06-22, 06:43

Sounds like something out of the WoW mythos with the style of writing. ^^ sounds very epic-ish.

Negativedark

2007-06-22, 08:34

I really liked Tempest35's fic from Miria's pov. So much I may rip it off and do Miria's "files" on various things.
TinyRedLeaf, yours is shaping up interesting as well. My biggest worry would be that eventually the Manga could reveal things that compleatly contridict it. That's why I never wrote one forMaita, and her real motherWell It's still fairly good.

Tempest35

2007-06-22, 14:35

Heh, it's such a small one but I specialize in those. Besides, POV's give me an excuse to get inside the head of a particular character.

My 'Author's Notes' on Miria

I like Miria because as complex as some people think she is, she's actually a more simple character to understand than say, Ophelia. She just puts off an 'untouchable' aura because of how quick-thinking she is and how much knowledge she has. At he heart of it, Miria's just innately curious about the world and how everything works. She wants to know the 'why' more than anything, especially with the entire Youma-Claymore-Awakened business. Like a young, brand-new scientist/researcher who wants to explore as much as possible.

That's why I see Clare as being the biggest mystery that Miria's come across and for lack of a better term, she's hooked. Now that she has this living mystery to work with, she won't really rest until she's totally figured Clare out.

Tempest35

2007-06-23, 09:11

Wanted to write something with a more lighthearted theme than we are used to seeing. :) Not for the anime purists. :D

The howling of the wind and the clashing of steel mixed in the air as Miria went through sword drills with them yet again. Helen had taken a seat on a nearby rock anxious to do something other than swing the stupid sword again. It was not that she didn’t see the importance of it, but she was wishing for something other than drills to occupy her time.

As many of her companions would tell you – Helen being bored is a dangerous thing. Not only does she think of weird pranks, she also has the drive to see them through. So when the seven hid their youki and stayed up North, Helen became extremely bored. No more bars and pubs to drink herself away, no making faces at kids as she passed them on the road, no more flirting with young men who struck her fancy.

No, it was now just Miria, Deneve, Clare, Tabatha, Cynthia, Yuma, and Helen now - all one big happy family out in the middle of nowhere. Man, she’d kill for a nice warm pot roast right now or even some ale.
As Miria called a halt to the practice session, Helen sighed loudly, drawing some whimsical design with her boot as Cynthia came over and sat down.

“Bored as usual I see,” Cynthia gave her a smile as she pulled her pigtails back from in front of her face where the wind kept blowing them out of place.

“Geez, like you wouldn’t believe,” Helen muttered, glancing at the other girl. “I mean, other than the occasional wandering Awakened one we find, what are we gonna do?” For Helen, it was kinda hard to see how the ever-smiling Cynthia was ranked higher than Serious Face Deneve. Only when Cynthia and Deneve sparred was the difference made known – Cynthia was just slightly better at swordplay than her friend. Deneve acknowledged it from before but it was the first time Helen had seen Deneve go against someone near her level. It was quite a sight. That and the first time Cynthia encountered an Awakened Being after the Last Stand at Pieta, the girl became downright scary.

“Hmmm," Cynthia let her eyes drift skyward as they often did when she wanted to think something through, "I guess we are all just surviving right now,” Cynthia looked back at the group that had splintered off. Clare and Yuma were watching Deneve display a sequence while Miria was with Tabatha off to her left, pointing to the east. “Surviving and growing stronger. Is that not good enough?”

"Tch," Helen brought her fist down against her knee, agitated at Cynthia's remark. “Hell no!”

”Eh?” Cynthia was surprised by the other girl’s heartfelt outburst. She, along with Tabatha and Yuma, had grown accustomed to Helen's rather boisterous nature but sometimes the former rank 22 surprised them like so.

"Ah, sorry Cynthia. I guess I'm just pent-up over this." Helen leaned down and began gathering a ball of snow, slowly packing it tightly. “I want to live a full life, despite being a Claymore. I do not want to be cowering here up in Snow White Land just training endlessly.” She made another one and plopped it into Cynthia’s unresisting hands. “Aren’t you bored too?” With that, she chucked the ball right at Tabatha’s back.

Tabatha took a surprised step forward and whipped around, her eyes immediately falling to the snowball held by Cynthia, who quickly whipped it around behind her back.

“Leave her, it was probably Helen anyway,” Miria told her, giving a glare at Helen's general direction, to which Helen just smiled and waved back almost innocently.

“Why did you do that?” Cynthia asked, still holding her snowball behind her back.

“Why wouldn’t I throw a snowball? Look where we are! The snow isn’t going anywhere, might as well make use of it. It would be a shame not to!”

Cynthia brought the snowball from behind her back and looked at it for a moment, thinking of her junior's words. She wouldn't show it but she too felt fustrated from time to time during their stay so far up in the North. Her eyes showed a new kind of resolve as she then brought her arm back and threw the snowball. The ball smacked Deneve right on the head, leaving a bit of snow on hair. Cynthia covered her face, slightly appaulled that she had done such a thing but Helen nearly died laughing at the sight until Deneve threw some snow back at her, hitting her in the face.

“I didn’t throw that last one! Cynthia did!” Helen sputtered, wiping off the snow with a gloved hand.

“I know but you were laughing,” Deneve replied matter-of-factly, shaking her hair free of the snow. Damn, the snow didn’t hurt but it sure surprised the hell outta her.

“Fine!” Helen gathered up some snow quickly and threw it back at her friend, who nimbly dodged out of the way this time. Clare sidestepped the white projectile but Yuma was not so quick to react and got hit on the arm. Clare was very surprised when Deneve dropped an armload of snow on her head when she turned around.

“Deneve?”

“Don’t think that you’re getting away scott free,” Deneve’s face held a faint smirk, which dissipated immediately when twin snowballs found their mark on her back. Helen was now attacking Clare while Cynthia introduced Yuma to some more snow. Deneve eyed the two stalwart figures not too far away and bent down and gathered some more snow…

Miria could hear the sounds of the girls behind her and she bit back the urge to sigh. “Matte ku, what is wrong with –“ She barely angled her head out of the way of the incoming snowball but once again, Tabatha was not spared. Concentration broken, Tabatha wheeled to face the others. “What are you doing!?”

“Oi oi, can't you tell? We're playing!” Helen yelled back, tossing two more snowballs at her. Tabatha caught them and returned fire, running right at Helen but was tackled by a now giddy Cynthia into a snow bank with Helen cheering all the way.
“Alright! Way to go Cynthia!”

“Clare-san, watch out!”

“Ack! Helen! No fac - *whuck*”

“Ahaaahahahahaha~! Gyah, that’s cold Yuma!”

“She said no face shots!”

“Then how bout a snow dunk eh!?”

“Kiyaaaah~!”

“Double technique – Dual Snow Barrage!”

“That’s cheating Deneve!”

“Fine! Windcutter revised – Snow Blower!”

“Augh! Now who’s cheating! Using swords!”

“…” Miria was once again dumbfounded by the sheer amount of silliness going on around her. Weren’t they supposed to have some dignity left!? Miria continued on her silent berating until she decided that it had suddenly gotten too quiet. She looked up to see all six girls looking right at her, snowballs in hand.
Even a half-brained Youma could have figured out this situation...
“You wouldn’t…”

“Ah, is fearless leader afraid of some snow,” Helen challenged, tossing a snowball up and catching it teasingly.

Miria looked at their faces. The stress and worry on their faces had significantly dropped, if not disappeared all together. They were relaxed and smiling – something they had not done in a long time. ‘All work and no play’, she thought. Maybe…just maybe playing around once in a while wasn’t so bad. Besides, she was getting bored herself. Just a bit mind you.
Miria gave her hair a proud, taunting flip at Helen, her eyes equally challenging. “What makes you think that you could touch me even if you wanted to, rank #22?”

Challenge accepted, Helen grinned, hefting her arm back. “’Cuz this says so!” She threw the snowball as hard and as fast as she possibly could. A split second later, the other girls released their barrage of snow at the warrior known as 'The Phantom'. Miria’s mouth curved upwards into a smirk as she held up her right hand, caught the first snowball and vanished, the other snowballs flowing right through her mirage. She appeared right behind Helen, arm held high and paused, letting the situation fully register in Helen’s mind before she smashed the snow right into Helen’s hair, rubbing it in good.

“Still got a long way to go, Helen-chan.”

dutchman

2007-06-23, 09:56

Wanted to write something with a more lighthearted theme than we are used to seeing. :) Not for the anime purists. :D

The howling of the wind and the clashing of steel mixed in the air as Miria went through sword drills with them yet again. Helen had taken a seat on a nearby rock anxious to do something other than swing the stupid sword again. Not that she didn’t see it’s importance, but she was wishing for something other than drills to occupy her time.

Helen was bored. As many of her companions would tell you – Helen being bored is a dangerous thing. Not only does she think of weird pranks, she also has the drive to see them through. So when the seven hid their youki and stayed up North, Helen became extremely bored. No more bars and pubs, no making faces at kids as she passed them on the road, no more flirting with young men who struck her fancy.

No, just Miria, Deneve, Clare, Tabatha, Cynthia, and Yuma now. All one big happy family out in the middle of nowhere. Man she’d kill for a nice warm pot roast right now.
Helen sighed loudly, drawing some whimsical design with her boot as Cynthia came over and sat down.

“Bored as usual,” Cynthia smiled at her, pulling her pigtails back from in front of her face.

“Geez, like you wouldn’t believe,” Helen muttered. It was kinda hard to see how the ever-smiling Cynthia was ranked higher than Serious Face Deneve. Only when Cynthia and Deneve sparred was the difference made known – Cynthia was just slightly better at swordplay than her friend. Deneve acknowledged it from before but it was the first time Helen had seen Deneve go against someone near her level. It was quite a sight.
“I mean, other than the occasional wandering Awakened one we find, what are we gonna do?”

“Hmmm, I guess we are all just surviving right now,” Cynthia looked back at the group that had splintered off. Clare and Yuma were watching Deneve display a sequence while Miria was with Tabatha pointing to the east. “Is that not good enough?”

Helen brought her fist down against her knee. “Hell no!”

”Eh?” Cynthia was surprised by the other girl’s outburst.

Helen leaned down and gathered a ball of snow, packing it tightly. “I want to live a full life, not one cowering here up in Snow White Land just training.” She made another one and plopped it in Cynthia’s hands. “Aren’t you bored?” With that, she chucked the ball right at Tabatha’s back.

Tabatha took a surprised step forward and whipped around, her eyes immediately falling to the snowball held by Cynthia, who quickly whipped it around behind her back.

“Leave her, it was probably Helen anyway,” Miria told her, giving a glare at Helen, to which Helen just smiled and waved back.

“Why did you do that?” Cynthia asked, still holding the snowball behind her back.

“Why wouldn’t I throw a snowball? Look where we are! The snow isn’t going anywhere, might as well make use of it. It would be a shame not to!”

Cynthia brought the snowball from behind her back and looked at it for a moment. She then brought her arm back and threw it. The ball smacked Deneve right on the head, leaving a bit of snow on the top of her head. Cynthia covered her face but Helen nearly died laughing at the sight until Deneve threw one right at her, hitting her in the face.

“I didn’t throw that last one! Cynthia did!”

“I know but you were laughing,” Deneve replied matter-of-factly, shaking her hair free of the snow.

“Fine!” Helen gathered up some snow quickly and threw it back at her friend, who nimbly dodged out of the way this time. Clare sidestepped the white projectile but Yuma was not so quick to react and got hit on the arm. Clare was very surprised when Deneve dropped an armload of snow on her head when she turned around.

“Deneve?”

“Don’t think that you’re getting away scott free,” Deneve’s face held a rare smirk, which dissipated immediately when twin snowballs found their mark on her back. Helen was now attacking Clare while Cynthia introduced Yuma to some more snow. Deneve eyed the two stalwart figures not too far away and bent down and gathered some more snow…

Miria could hear the sounds of the girls behind her and she bit back the urge to sigh. “Matte ku, what is wrong with –“ She barely angled her head out of the way of the incoming snowball but once again, Tabatha was not spared. Concentration broken, Tabatha wheeled to face the others. “What are you doing!?”

“Playing!” Helen yelled back, tossing two more snowballs at her. Tabatha caught them and returned fire, running right at Helen but was tackled by a giddy Cynthia into a snowbank. “Alright! Way to go Cynthia!” Helen laughed but was quickly double-teamed by both Clare and Yuma.

“…” Miria was once again dumbfounded by the sheer amount of silliness going on around her. Weren’t they suppose to have some dignity left!? Miria continued on her silent berating until she decided that it had gotten too quiet. She looked up to see all six girls looking right at her, snow in hands. She wasn't former rank #6 for nothing.
“You wouldn’t…”

“Ah, is fearless leader afraid of some snow,” Helen challenged.

Miria looked at their faces. The stress and worry on their faces had significantly dropped, if not disappeared all together. They were relaxed and smiling – something they had not done in a long time. ‘All work and no play, eh’, she thought. Maybe…just maybe playing around once in a while wasn’t so bad. Besides, she was getting slightly bored herself. Slightly.
Miria gave her hair a taunting flip at Helen. “What makes you think that you could touch me even if you wanted to, rank #22?”

Helen grinned at the accepted challenge. “'Cuz this says so!” She threw the snowball as fast as she could. A split second later, the other girls released their barrage at the Claymore known as Phantom. Miria gave a rare chuckle as she held up her right hand, caught the first snowball and vanished, the other snowballs flowing right through her mirage. She appeared right behind Helen, and pegged her right in the back of her head.

“Bingo.”

Very nice Tempest your insight of the characters is quite impressive. :bow:
I could easily see them doing that. And the finishing move of Miria is not much out of character I could easily imagine her doing it when in a playful mood.

Negativedark

2007-06-23, 15:38

Here's something short and stupid I typed up in five minutes. Formating sucks, but oh well.I wrote this to answer the question, just what does Riful see in Dauf?

“Uh, Riful, I got something I want to tell you…”
“Oh, what is it Dauf?” said Riful as she leaned forward in her chair, and put her chin on her folded hands. Dauf Reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.
“Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Riful, I love you.”
“Well it’s better than your last one.
I think I shall never see
A tree as lovely as thee
Riful.”
“Oh and I also got you flowers” Dauf hands Riful a bouquet of daisies “and made you dinner.” Dauf pulls off the cover for the giant platter on the table, revealing a hogtied plump man, with an apple in his mouth, covered in eleven herbs and spices, struggling futily against his bonds.
“MMPH MMPH”
With a smile Riful holds out her arms to Dauf.
“Oh, that’s so thoughtful! Come her you!”

NoSanninWa

2007-06-23, 16:45

That's so... cute. In a really sick way. LOLOL

SimplyEd

2007-06-23, 19:41

@ All the new stories in here: Marvelous! Keep up the good work, folks! :D

Defiled one

2007-06-24, 04:46

What would you think of a crossover between D-Grey man and Claymore?:confused:

Good? bad? Shitty? Just be true :heh:

Negativedark

2007-06-24, 09:07

That's so... cute. In a really sick way. LOLOL

Well that's exactly how I see the relationship between those two!

I've never really read D-grey man, but I'm not entirely sure that cross over would work. Amongst numoerous over things, isn't the time period for D-gray man much later, like the victorian era or something? Maybe if Claymore had happened in a historical sense, and even then I'd be doubtful.

Tempest35

2007-06-24, 09:24

I've never really read D-grey man, but I'm not entirely sure that cross over would work. Amongst numoerous over things, isn't the time period for D-gray man much later, like the victorian era or something? Maybe if Claymore had happened in a historical sense, and even then I'd be doubtful.

Claymore's hard to write a cross-over for. It's a pretty specific piece of work. Not just anyone can be in it and even then, they have to fullfil certain criteria in order to have anything going for them (ie. pwning powers)

Like I said earlier...if you take the characters out of Claymore and put them into another setting, that would be much easier for the writer and for everyone else, not to mention quite fun. ^^ I don't know if that sort of cross-over has another name or is another type because I'm not a mainstream fanfic writer...

Defiled one

2007-06-24, 10:15

Claymore is very difficult because the characters wouldn`t behave normally in other worlds. "If you know what I mean"

Actually, there isn´t a world that can be interesting for them.

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-24, 10:27

Claymore is very difficult because the characters wouldn`t behave normally in other worlds. "If you know what I mean"

Actually, there isn´t a world that can be interesting for them.

who knows depends on the world

Defiled one

2007-06-24, 10:28

That´s the point. What world?

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-24, 10:29

That´s the point. What world?

true enough only one i see close would be berserk

Tempest35

2007-06-24, 15:02

Berserk's a lie. It's like a similar-looking puzzle piece but short of mauling it, you won't get it to fit. :heh:

Mai-Hime/Otome could work...all the guys sucked and all the girls had the crazy powers. Fits right in. :D The secret ORG is actually Garderobe.

Defiled one

2007-06-24, 15:48

Teenagers against experienced soldier women? they would probably confuse the Awakened as children.

I am liking the idea. Mai Otome seems to fit so well. Seriously you have no idea how it fits so well.

Tempest35

2007-06-24, 16:53

Yeah, I kinda had thoughts about crossovers long before this one and came to a self-realization that it's not so much how well the 'settings' mesh, but how well the 'characters' will mesh within a setting from either side.

There's a reason why I hate InuYasha/YuYuHakusho/HarryPotter X-overs...:twitch: :twitch:

Meh, Mai Otome could fit but will it be a pretty fit? :heh: I'm sure that they're better ideas out there. But seriously, if anyone wants to try their hand at Berserk, go right ahead. Sorry for bashing it so much - more of a personal thing than anything else.

Sordes Pilosus

2007-06-24, 17:28

Blood +
Baselisk
Kekkaishi
D.gray-man

Could be a few options. But none does really fit perfectly.

killer3000ad

2007-06-24, 18:14

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-27, 22:09

Sailormoon anyone? Just send Ophelia over.

Ophelia: Oooo you girls have an interesting Awakened form, very pretty with the sailor outfits, but you are Awakened all the same! Lets see how you lot look with only the uniforms and no limbs! SAZANAMI!:heh::heh:

I could see that but wouldn't ophelia notice they not radiate youki but another energy or perhaps she might think these are new awakened that can change there youki to another type of energy to hide themselves. With her craziness I think so

Tempest35

2007-06-27, 22:23

Y'know, I wonder what Claymore's version of 'The View' would be like...probably worth watching. :D

Negativedark

2007-06-27, 22:31

I could see that but wouldn't ophelia notice they not radiate youki but another energy or perhaps she might think these are new awakened that can change there youki to another type of energy to hide themselves. With her craziness I think so

Would she even care?

Yorae_paladin1

2007-06-27, 22:33

Would she even care?

You might be right or maybe she realizes there human but not ordinary ones and wants to fight strong humans and challenges them anyway strong humans is a rare treat for her

Laevatein

2007-06-28, 03:08

Fenrir_valindri

2007-06-28, 05:06

Been rolling around a Modern-Day Claymore setting in my head for a while now, would probably be long if I decided to do it.

The Snow fic was great btw, loved it.

HinaThePrince

2007-06-28, 07:55

I've got vague ideas in my head for a Claymore/Buffy crossover - especially given the similarities between the methods of creation of Slayers and Claymores... what if they're actually the same thing, but the "rules" are different between dimensions? If Buffy ended up in the Claymore world, would she be running the risk of awakening?

(I just had a flashback to the Angel episodes where they went to Pylea)

...What? How are Claymores and Slayers similar? Did we watch the same shows?

Been rolling around a Modern-Day Claymore setting in my head for a while now, would probably be long if I decided to do it.

YOU SHOULD PAIR UNDINE AND OPHELIA UP. [/secret passion]

Fenrir_valindri

2007-06-28, 13:08

YOU SHOULD PAIR UNDINE AND OPHELIA UP. [/secret passion]

Heh I was thinking of doing the fic Post-Time-Jump, so those 2 would be dead. Would basically be going from volume 12+ except in a modern setting. :D

HinaThePrince

2007-06-28, 14:24

Heh I was thinking of doing the fic Post-Time-Jump, so those 2 would be dead. Would basically be going from volume 12+ except in a modern setting. :D

So you're going to make a modern-day war as well? Man, that's depressing. Should be interesting, though.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-06-28, 14:58

More like The Organization being a sort of "Shady Vampire hunter-type" group, kinda special-ops like, the story will be along the same lines, Miria and the others being the survivors/sacrifices to slow down a group of Awakened beings. :D, was thinking of doing it primarily from Miria's POV, might work on something else instead though, rolling around alot of ideas in my head atm >.<

Bikerider

2007-06-28, 18:40

Here's an idea... say there was supposed to be a 25th Claymore that didn't make it to the battle in time. She is intercepted by Rafaela. But instead of killing her, Rafaela pursues the AOs coming south, then sees Isley and follows him. What does poor 25th Claymore think... do... Does she continue north to fight a lost battle ? Follow Rafaela ? Run for her life ? hmm... some possibilities there.

Laevatein

2007-06-29, 04:59

The talk of modern day Claymore, combined with watching a certain other anime, gave me a possibly very wrong idea...

Raki*Star

So... which of the Claymores is most likely to be an otaku?

Defiled one

2007-06-29, 08:54

Actually there are ways to make claymore appear in our modern world. You just have to be smart

HinaThePrince

2007-06-29, 10:14

Like in your story, you mean? :P

Defiled one

2007-06-29, 10:51

Like in your story, you mean? :P

AH!! I knew it!

You´re in that site! :joke:

Tempest35

2007-06-29, 16:31

SimplyEd

2007-06-29, 16:41

Random modern stuff involving the Claymore girls

- Clare getting a job at Coyote Ugly (Miria is her shift manager and Helen and Deneve have been there a year already) :D Sorry, the image of Deneve in tight jeans...in a splits on the bar while pouring my drink...:drool:

- Helen tries out for Broadway

- "How Miria Got Her Groove Back"

I'm sure more silliness will manifest once I finish eating... :D

Good appetite then^^

Seriously, after reading that i suddenly had a vision of a Claymore/Kill Bill crossover.

Just replace Bill with Priscilla and the other crazy bi****s from that flick with some of Clares more prominent opponents.
I wonder if Clare'll look good clad in yellow?

HinaThePrince

2007-06-29, 16:43

Good appetite then^^

Seriously, after reading that i suddenly had a vision of a Claymore/Kill Bill crossover.

Just replace Bill with Priscilla and the other crazy bi****s from that flick with some of Clares more prominent opponents.
I wonder if Clare'll look good clad in yellow?

Oh hell, definitely!

Fenrir_valindri

2007-07-05, 00:19

My first actual fic, so be kind. T rating on the story as well. (Nothing Graphic)

Tales from the North...Part 1

Miria was annoyed…
Oh sure, this had been her idea, and it had sounded like a good idea at the time.

....but she was still annoyed.

They had been training together all this time as a team of 7 after all, it would be good for them all to learn how to work in smaller, more covert teams. It was not unlikely that there would be times in the future were they would be separated or forced to split up, and Miria’s idea was a good step towards preparing for such an event.
T
hey would train together for a week then split up into smaller groups the next week, and then regrouping a week after that. Training with different pairings each time, a great way to build trust and teamwork, it had sounded like SUCH a great idea at the time.

Miria had been quite happy with herself.............that is until she got paired up with Helen.

“Miria!!!! Can we take a break already, I’m starving!!”

(Sigh) “Helen it has barely been a day, I know your appetite is larger then average, but this is ridiculous!!”

Oh yes, she was getting very annoyed, it was only the start of their second day, and she was already getting sick of being stuck alone with her, the girl did not understand the value of silence, or the subtle art of not sharing your thoughts with others for that matter.
Miria was not entirely sure that it was possible, but she was almost certain that Helen was slowly killing her with her constant torrent of senseless babble.

“But MIRIAAA!!!!”

“NO Helen! You are just going to have to wait until night fall; we will take a break then.”

“Fine….” Helen finally replied after a long (but thankfully quiet) delay.
Hours of blissful silence passed by, they moved quickly and efficiently, scouting the area and looking for any useful material they could salvage.

Miria was finally able to focus on training with Helen; things were going fine until…….

“Say Miria….”

“Yes Helen?”

“Have you ever gotten laid?”

Miria whipped her head around, her expression one of shock.

“What?!”

“I was just asking if you had ever gotten yourself laid, your always really tense and uptight, you seem to have a lot of pent of frustration.”

Miria felt a head-ache coming….a big one.

“Helen I am not….uptight….and even if I was, I do not think “getting laid” as you put it would help.

“Eh, Seriously?”

“Helen it is not even possible for us, you know what our bodies are like, and most men would not even come near us in the first place.”

“Bah! That’s what Deneve said too until I got her paired up with some guy at a bar once.”

“…….What?”

“Yeah, its not that hard really, I mean some guys are not really that afraid of us, hell some of them think that it’s kind of a turn-on, the whole warrior-woman with a big-sword thing.”

“Are you telling me that you and Deneve have both…..?”
“
Yup!!” Helen said with a smile. “It helped loosen Deneve up loads!! She used to be a lot worse then she is now.”
Miria was at a complete loss for words, she could not even begin to imagine…..

“I tell ya, its great though! Sure its kind of odd having to cover up my chest, but it’s a great feeling to know that your body is attractive to someone.”

Miria managed to force her thoughts back into coherency..

“Helen…even if I was willing to go through with that, and I am not, there are no men or bars for that matter, up north anymore, and we are in hiding.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true” Helen sighed, looking a bit disappointed.

“Let’s get moving Helen, we have wasted enough time.”

“Fine, fine”

Just as Miria turned, around Helen shouted out, “I got it!!”

“Got what Helen?” Miria asked curiously, trying her best to purge her mind of the ideas Helen had managed to jam into it.

“You could always try masturbation! It’s a great stress reliever!” Helen said with a smile and a wink.

Miria was once against at a loss for words, I mean......how was she supposed to respond to that?!

Miria promptly turned around and started walking......fast.

"Miria! Wait up! If you dont know how I could give you some pointers!!" Helen shouted, in swift pursuit of her commander.

Miria just sped up. Refusing to turn around......Annoyed was no longer the word Miria would use.

Mortified was a much better word for her now.

End.. (Or to be continued?)

Something I whipped up in about 30 mins, tell me what you guys think, might start an ongoing fic about it, maybe.

Edit: Decided to redo the ending, It was bugging me as well.

Tempest35

2007-07-05, 06:45

win, Win, WIN!! LOL. I didn't dare write anything like that about Miria-chan but you went ahead and... wow, that was great. :D Pent-up fustration...lolz. Next step...Miria gets paired with which lucky Claymore? I volunteer to be one of those 'lucky' guys who'd help a Claymore ease their tension. :D Wrote that part in just for us, ne?

This is definitely the start of 'The Miria Files'. :D She'll be begging for Clare by the end of it just to keep her sanity.

NoSanninWa

2007-07-05, 06:50

Very fun piece. I particularly like the way you capture Helen's personality. Unfortunately the ending is amazingly weak. I really cannot imagine anyone, virgin or otherwise, considering it so shocking that they would pass out unless their breath and blood-flow was constricted by a corset of Victorian tightness. Seriously. It just seems unbelievable that a healthy person could respond like that.

Tempest35

2007-07-05, 07:26

Well, wouldn't that prove that Miria does have pent up-ness to deal with? :heh:

Fenrir_valindri

2007-07-05, 07:34

Heh well tbh I had no clue how to end it, I was writing the thing in 30 mins at Midnight this morning, might work on improving the last part. I decided to go with humor for the end, Miria passing out was a mixture of shock and stress from Helen's constant prattling. :D

I <3 Miria, but I am more then willing to bet that she is high-strung being the leader type and having to deal with that type of group for seven years, just those same 6 people. Once the creative juices start to flow again I might toss something out there.

Edit: Just wanted to toss in that most Claymore's could not be considered "healthy" in the mental sense.

Negativedark

2007-07-05, 08:22

Well I'm looking forward to more.
Hey Miria could use Helen's prattle as a weapon. It could distract and confuse the more uptight Claymores from the Organiation.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-07-05, 08:46

redid the ending, tell me what you guys think...slighly more in character I hope.

Negativedark

2007-07-05, 12:31

Yeah, that's better.

Here's another quick dumb one I made to answere yet another of the great mysteries of Claymore.
Thump
“Hey Miria, you okay?” asked a concerned Helen.
“I’m fine. I just fell down.”
“Yeah, I noticed you’ve been doing that a lot latly.”
“It’s starting to concern us to be honest.” added Deneve,
“… It’s all my hairs fault.” admitted Miria.
“WHAT?!” that was Helen. Deneve’s reaction was a more subdued raised eyebrow.
“With my old mirage, my hair didn’t even have time to move. But with the new mirage it gets whipped around in my face, and then I… Fall down.”
Suddenly Claire stood up and began walking away.
“Hey, wait are you going out again?” shouted Helen.
“I’ve got something I want to look for.” was Claire’s response.

A few days later…
“Here.” Claire tossed a small cloth wrapped bundle to Miria. Opening it she found hairpins, combs and brushes. She looked at Claire with a puzzled expression.
“If your hair is a problem, then change it.” this attracted everyone elses attention.
“Alright, a makeover. Just leave it to me.” crooned Helen.
“Hmmph. I have a few ideas myself.”
“Eh… Deneve, I really don’t think you’re the best person when it comes to hair.”
“Just what is that supposed to mean?” Claire interrupted them before things could escalate.
“Stop. Look you two.” Claire points to where Miria is already surrounded by Cynthia, Tabetha, and Yuma. “Lets let those three have a rare moment of glory for themselves.”
And that is how Miria changed her hairstyle.

Tempest35

2007-07-05, 14:48

@ prior story

*snickers* either one was good enough for me but with the edit, it's slightly more 'Miria-esqe' after all.

I see Miria having a talk with Deneve and and tries to find out just how has she put up with Helen for all these years prior. Deneve confers with Miria, using her slightly more tactful but still brutally honest approach and she learns that Deneve is much more dangerous than Helen. :heh: :heh:

@ Negativedark

Oh yesh, how could we have forgotten that important time during the timeskip - the day Miria changed her hairstyle. :D

NoSanninWa

2007-07-05, 16:30

Heh well tbh I had no clue how to end it, I was writing the thing in 30 mins at Midnight this morning, might work on improving the last part. I decided to go with humor for the end, Miria passing out was a mixture of shock and stress from Helen's constant prattling. :DNah. It's much more in Miria's character to hit Helen. Hard. She's a leader with command presence and ability to deal with all sorts of difficult people. She'd never faint.

Edit: Just read your change. Much more in character. Though I would have gone for punishing Helen. Helen seriously needs a spanking. Hmmm... I wonder if maybe that's what she's hoping for?

Laevatein

2007-07-05, 19:18

...What? How are Claymores and Slayers similar? Did we watch the same shows?

They're "enhanced" humans who were created as human/demon hybrids by a shadowy organization (according to S7, that was how the first slayer was created). And they're all female (any chance the watcher's council resorted to using females after the males went nuts?)

Negativedark

2007-07-05, 21:18

Nah. It's much more in Miria's character to hit Helen. Hard. She's a leader with command presence and ability to deal with all sorts of difficult people. She'd never faint.

Edit: Just read your change. Much more in character. Though I would have gone for punishing Helen. Helen seriously needs a spanking. Hmmm... I wonder if maybe that's what she's hoping for?

I doubt Miria would hit Helen for that. More likly just ignore her. But I feel that Miria has too much self control to hit a subbordente just for making her a little embarrised.
I've covered two minor mysteries for Claymore thus far. Wonder if there's any others I can explore.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-07-05, 21:59

Heh I honestly doubt Miria is the type to hit her subordinates as well.

Heh your fanfic was interesting, I was thinking of doing something on that as well, still stirring it around in my head though, just give me some time. :D

Tempest35

2007-07-05, 23:39

Mysteries of Claymore - Questions

- The Claymore jumpsuit. It gets blood on it but it never gets bloodied...notice that? Just who makes these things and what spaceage tech is the fabric???

- Just where did Irene get her new outfit from anyway?

- Just where did Irene and Ophelia come from? (elf ears)

- Teh frightening question - Do Claymores have the monthly cycle?

That should be enough for now. ^^

stormy001_M1A2

2007-07-06, 00:31

Well, I did asked if Claymores are subjected to PMS, but no one seems to be interested to answer.

TinyRedLeaf

2007-07-06, 04:15

What’s this? Where am I? Fields of ripened wheat. Noises. Noises in the background. Someone is calling me. A voice in the distance.

“Come on men, on your feet and make it quick! You there! Get your gear together. Move it!”

“What’s happening?” croaked Tristram, as he woke groggily from his fevered dream.

“Hush, you need rest.”

Tristram lifted his head painfully. A short distance away, soldiers were putting on their armour, and gathering their weapons — pikes, halberds and their precious cache of arquebuses. He realised immediately that they were breaking camp.

The effort exhausted him. He lay down again, his face pale, except for the dark rings around his eyes. The bandages wrapped around his abdomen were soaked in blood, barely preventing his guts from spilling out.

He managed a weak smile in spite of the pain. “Aidan, I am dying.”

“No you’re not.”

He glanced briefly at the young warrior kneeling besides him. Aidan looked away, refusing to meet his gaze. His face was fixed with a look of firm determination. No, not determination, thought Tristram. Denial.

He continued smiling as he looked up at the grey sky. The sun had risen over the valley, a pale, watery disk that provided light, but hardly any warmth.

“I dreamt of home. It’s time for the harvest. Fields of gold for as far as my eyes could see. My father was calling me for the tools. I think I was running towards him. And then, I woke up.”

“…”

“Aidan…”

“Yes?”

“What have we been fighting for?”

“What do you mean? We joined the Crusade to fight Youma.”

“Have you wondered where the Youma came from?”

“I…I don’t know. They are monsters that eat people, and they must be destroyed. That’s all I need to know.”

“They…also say that the Youma are punishment for our sins.”

“…”

“Youma, devils, monsters. The plague foretold in legend. Do they not remind you of the fiends from the Nine Hells?”

“…you think too much. Wherever they come from, we will fight them. God willing, we’ll destroy them all.”

“A single youma. We fought but a single youma yesterday. And look at us today. What can we do against such evil?”

“We won didn’t we?”

Tristram chuckled lightly at Aidan’s words. He winced as a spasm of pain writhed through his broken body. “Yes, so we did.”

“What the hell are the both of you doing? Did you not hear my orders? I said to get ready for the march!” bellowed Dauf.

“Silence! The day may yet come when you get to throw orders at me, Dauf, but today is not the day.”

Dauf glared at Aidan for a few moments, before looking at Tristram. His swarthy faced softened slightly, as the inevitable outcome dawned upon the grizzled veteran. “Pah. Do as you please Aidan. We’ll leave you behind if you’re not ready by the time we start,” spat Dauf, before turning back to join the main body.

Tristram reached out and held lightly onto Aidan’s arm. “Aidan, you know what you have to do. I am ready.”

Aidan opened his mouth as though to utter a sharp rebuke, but his voice broke. His expression, already grim, hardened still further. “I promise you. We will win the Crusade. Your sacrifice will not be in vain.”

“Aye. I’m counting on you.”

“Saint Teresa guide you home.”

The smooth hiss of cold steel whistled through the wind, as Aidan drew his claymore from its sheath. The mighty two-handed sword glinted briefly in the pale light of the morning sun.

It rose, and fell, in one swift stroke.

----

"Well Dauf? Are they ready?" asked Isley.

"Aye, Captain. They're ready enough."

"Make sure the guns are secure. Without them, we may as well not return to Starfall," said Isley as he prepared to leave. "How many are we?"

"All told, 31 of us, fit for combat. As for the wounded..."

Isley turned to look at Dauf. There was no need for further words.

"We move. I want to make it back before nightfall."

Mandrake

2007-07-10, 16:13

It's been ages since I have written in story format, but it feels good. The pen is moving with a will of it's own over the paper. And all the stuff here is inspiring me to persist in putting it all down in words, untill the brainjuice stops squirting XD

Amirali

2007-07-13, 17:13

Cool fanfics here. All of them were readable, but a few special mentions:
Tiny red leaf: I enjoyed the concept of the soldiers going up against the yomas. Its not an easy topic to pull-off though..........unlike a comedy fan fic, it would take a good deal of character development and dilemmas to be a worthwhile endeavour. It would be interesting if you could bring out the emergence of organization and awakened beings as well. Also, you've mentioned guns but there is no sign of them in today's claymore world. Not necessarily criticizing it, as long as you can explain that disappearance later.
And kudos to Negative Dark for the Riful/Dauf lovestory; that was amazingly funny. Am hoping to see more dark humour from you sometime.

It would be nice to see fanfics on specific handlers. Characters like Rubel or Ermita have probably been through a lot of adventures. There's also more scope for creative backstory, unlike with Claymores who are young orphans before they join organization. I can see Rubel being a mad inventor before the organization or Ermita being a shadowy ninja, or a handler who was a politician, or a soldier or a ...........well, my creativity fails me :P. I might try my hand at Rubel though.

dutchman

2007-07-14, 10:47

Here is a piece of fanfiction I found while surfing the net.
I am not the author just to avoid any misunderstanding (english is not my native language).

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3615287/1/

HinaThePrince

2007-07-14, 14:08

Amirali

2007-07-14, 14:38

Here is a piece of fanfiction I found while surfing the net.
I am not the author just to avoid any misunderstanding (english is not my native language).

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3615287/1/

Lol, this was a very funny story. It was all in-character, and the yuri and yaoi isn't offensively used.......those elements are as a parody .........but read it yourselves to see :).

Tempest35

2007-07-15, 20:45

**Deep within Staff, the city of the Organization**

Elder 1: So tell me, how is the new plan operating?

Rubel: Surprisingly, it is operating perfectly with a 98% positive rating amongst our warriors. Stress levels are overall at an all-time low with only minor altercations between the girls compared to last year.

Elder 2: I am very suprised that this bone-headed idea of yours worked, Rubel.

Rubel: *smile* After a steady increase in the purchase orders of altar boys from Rabona from our warriors no less, I felt that such a plan would be needed.

Elder 3: But for them to so easily go for Neopets? I mean, it's a freaking freaky idea!

Elder 1: It was a novelty idea, Rubel. One that is cost-effective, not to mention easy to impliment.

Rubel: Exactly. ^_^ And how is your TeresaPet doing, Elder?

Elder 2: ... I don't know why she's so upset all the time, I keep letting her play with Irene but she keeps making Irene cry and running away...

... *Other two Elders just look at him*

Rubel: If I may suggest giving her a chibi-Clare doll for a while until she gets 3 hearts again, then she'll play with Irene again. But don't ever let her play with Priscilla, she hates her and will hate you for it too.

Elder 2: Ah! So that's how it works!

Elder 3: -___-; ...we're so doomed.

One of those 'What if' thoughts gone horribly wrong... :D

Amirali

2007-07-15, 22:27

**Deep within Staff, the city of the Organization**

One of those 'What if' thoughts gone horribly wrong... :D

Decent stuff Tempest.........but maybe a little long for the punchline? The bit about hiring altar boys from Rabona as playthings for the Claymores cracked me up..........mmm, I can imagine how Helen would use her pet :P.

AVPlaya

2007-07-16, 01:49

Well, I did asked if Claymores are subjected to PMS, but no one seems to be interested to answer.

If they can't get pregnated, I would suppose their period stops too. That means no PMS, I guess.

Mandrake

2007-07-16, 02:55

If they can't get pregnated, I would suppose their period stops too. That means no PMS, I guess.

Can they? The only hint to that was Helen's line about Raki, but it could just as well be the organisations rules.

Bikerider

2007-07-16, 10:18

While Clare and the others were having their pre War of the north meeting, Other Claymores were gathering at a local hot spring. There Flora was showing off her "other" wind cutter technique

"OH GOD !!" a claymore exclaims, "What in all creation have you been eating ?"

"Geez Flora," Another Claymore chokes, "You have to show that off here ? Can't you wait till we fight some awakened beings ?"

Third Claymore: "BLarrrrrggghhhh !!"

Fourth Claymore: "Oh gross, not in the water. Not all over me !!"

Fifth Claymore: "Can't breathe !! Am choking to death !"

Sixth Clymore, running to the showers: "MY EYES !! MY EYES ARE MELTING !!"

AVPlaya

2007-07-16, 12:47

Can they? The only hint to that was Helen's line about Raki, but it could just as well be the organisations rules.

Yeah that's the line, but it make sense since they're really not human, but hybrid warriors designed to fight and die. I would think that the first thing the Org would remove from such a creature is their ability to procreate. Just too much humanity for killing machines if they're allowed to have kids and, gasp, families. I think they stop seeing themselves as woman... notice Teresa's reaction to certain acts by certain crappy men.

Amirali

2007-07-16, 18:24

Yeah that's the line, but it make sense since they're really not human, but hybrid warriors designed to fight and die. I would think that the first thing the Org would remove from such a creature is their ability to procreate. Just too much humanity for killing machines if they're allowed to have kids and, gasp, families. I think they stop seeing themselves as woman... notice Teresa's reaction to certain acts by certain crappy men.

Maybe, but lets not overstate the strictness of the Org. They seem okay with Claymores taking children around (Clare with Teresa, and Raki with Clare) even when it slows them down. On that thought............how would a child turn out who'd been brought up his/her entire childhood with a Claymore? Since Claymores can't procreate, what if two of them agreed to "adopt" a child together? I'm not necessarily suggesting yuri here :P, but adoptions seem a way a Claymore could have a semi-normal family (hint, hint, fan-fiction idea).

HinaThePrince

2007-07-17, 05:20

Defiled one

2007-07-17, 05:35

And since they can´t quit their job. I say a family is out of question.

Yorae_paladin1

2007-07-17, 10:34

And since they can´t quit their job. I say a family is out of question.

They can do that if they would like to be hunted down for the rest of there lives like teresa chose

Tempest35

2007-07-17, 15:10

Just thinking that the kid would have 47 Mommies and Aunties...:twitch:

Teresa - Irene - chibiClare = awesome

With anyone else though...it gets ... complicated ... :heh: Not to mention hilariously weird...

Helen: I'm home, honey!

Deneve: Ah good, you're back. I just got a request from a town to the east. It will be about three to four days.

Helen: Aw man, I just got back too. No time for cuddle? :D

Deneve: Helen... -.- Cuddle Sean for now. Believe it or not, he misses your funny faces.

Helen: Awww, how sweet. Okay where is he? Sean~! Time for breast feeding!

Devene: *exasperated* WE DON'T BREAST FEED!

Amirali

2007-07-17, 18:12

Claymores can't have a normal family. Adoption or not, their lifestyle is that of a lone warrior. They definitely can't settle down with a husband/wife and raise a kid - their job doesn't allow it, nor does their mental state.

No-one said having a family means settling down.........I was thinking more of travelling Claymores, who would take their adopted child/children with them. Well, maybe leave them behind on dangerous missions in a town somewhere. As far as the job not allowing it, I haven't seen org protest to either Clare x Teresa or Raki x Clare.........it becomes even easier if more than one claymore share the responsibility.

As far as mental state goes, I suppose the average claymore wouldn't opt for it. But I think it would have a therapeutic/comforting effect for many of them, what with the lonely lives they have. I don't see what is it in their mental state that would prevent them from forming human relations..........at the least , it hasn't stopped Clare and Teresa so far. Of course, the mortality rate is high, so there should be more than two Claymores who take responsibility to raise a child...............foursome, anyone?

HinaThePrince

2007-07-17, 18:49

Dude, Claymores aren't going to start traveling in fours in order to protect a kid they picked off the street just so that they'll learn to be kinder and more loving or whatever.

Amirali

2007-07-17, 19:36

Dude, Claymores aren't going to start traveling in fours in order to protect a kid they picked off the street just so that they'll learn to be kinder and more loving or whatever.

I didn't mean all the claymores travelling together........I mean they have an arrangement that if one dies, another has already agreed to take up responsibility for the orphan........that's what i meant about an arrangement between claymores.Ok, no-one adopts a child explicitly for selfimprovement, whether real world or claymore universe, so my original choice of words for the motivation was misleading.

But I don't find it incredible to conceive that a single woman, without family or romantic partner ,without ability to reproduce (possibly, although not proven) would want to adopt out of loneliness. I'm not saying every claymore would or should do it........but I think its a realistic possibility to see a fanfic where a particular Claymore/s adopts a child, or where friendly claymores agree to share responsibility for a child.

Granted, there are practical obstacles to adoption or family forming(none of which I've seen that are insurmountable, or stopped Teresa being with Clare) ...........which means that there's better fanfic potential drawing out that conflict between a yearning for family vs the obstacles in the way. Conflict is the root of a good story. I still don't see how it would OOC with the Claymore universe.

Tempest: Funny story about Helen and Deneve. It would have been funny when if the fab four had been fighting the male awakened being back in ep 11, only Helen and Clare survive, but Clare is critically injured saving Helen's life. Worried about Raki, and what the organization would do to him she asks Helen to protect him ; Helen accepts out of a sense of obligation :P. I can see Helen and Raki having a pretty funny relationship:

Raki (sobs at night) : "I want clare back !!"
Helen: "you brat, let me sleep !! Aargh, if only I hadn't promised Clare I wouldn't hurt you. Alright, if its the only way to shut you up" (Helen slides her warm body next to Raki).

Negativedark

2007-07-18, 16:11

Okay, here's another stream of conscousness drabble I did. Takes place right after the Teresea arc, when Claire looks at the sleeping Raki and says "Teresea"
He’s making me think about you Teresa. Again. I don’t know how he does it, and a part of me wishes he would stop. Because he isn’t just making me remember that. No, it’s worse. He makes me remember the good times. The all to brief good times. Raki do you have any idea what your doing to me? I can hate with ease. After all this time it’s not even something I really notice anymore. The desire for vengeance has turned to a cold lump in my chest, as frozen as my heart. Or so I thought before I met you. I killed the Yoma I was sent to. I didn’t care about the villagers. Or that’s what I believed at the time. Now I know better. A part of me still remembers being that little girl, and the helpless terror. And that feeling of salvation, and sadness that I felt when I met Teresa. I wonder was it like this for you? Or was it different. I know that no matter how hard I try to leave Raki behind somewhere, he would never let me, just as I wouldn’t let you. Even if I were to, I would never be able to be comfortable. I know all to well how cruel this world can be, especially to the good ones. Yoma are not the worst threat to people. So instead I choose to live with this sweet torture. Or is it painful joy? The cursed and yet so desirable state of being close to another. How strange it must have been to you Teresa. To have me following you no matter how hard you pushed me away. The joy I felt, when I awoke, and you appeared when I thought you had abandoned me. This boy, he makes me feel that all again, and the pain of your loss becomes all the greater. Despite this I wish for him to continue with me for as long as possible. Truly I love him.

Next something very silly.

Amirali

2007-07-19, 23:44

Am going to write a fanfic dealing with the gap between Teresa's death and the start of the Claymore mana. It'll be my humble attempt to track Clare's formative years as Rubel's gentle hand guides her through the early trauma. Does anyone have suggestions for particular aspects/themes of those days?

TinyRedLeaf

2007-07-20, 02:09

It'll be my humble attempt to track Clare's formative years as Rubel's gentle hand guides her through the early trauma.

For a moment there, you made Rubel sound like a paedophile.... :heh:

Well, here's a suggestion (not so much a theme, but an idea rather). Rubel seems to know a lot more than he chooses to reveal. Someone once suggested in the episode threads that Rubel may turn out to be "Deep Throat", for all we know. So, a story to explore his relationship with the Organisation could be interesting. ;)

Negativedark

2007-07-20, 12:03

Here's an idea I had. If a brother and sister both survive a Yoma attack, and the girl becomes a Claymore, and the boy is sent north, what happens if they meet again?

Tempest35

2007-07-21, 02:23

Here's an idea I had. If a brother and sister both survive a Yoma attack, and the girl becomes a Claymore, and the boy is sent north, what happens if they meet again?

ANGST~!! Can that be summed up in a mere drabble though?

wpnsiu86

2007-07-21, 10:50

hi everyone, i'm actually thinking of writing a claymore fanfic, but on a different timeline, with entirely new characters. This story takes place 200 years after the current events in the actual manga (why 200 years? well... just a random number). Below is a little prologue, i will some comments before i continue with the main story. Hope you guys will like it!

“Oh… there you are. I thought you were lost or something,” a middle aged man in a black coat called out to a similarly dressed young man.

“Sorry, I got the location mixed up,” the young man said apologetically. Still in his early twenties, Makedon ran up to his mentor. He was supposed to learn the trades of a handler. In due time, Makedon will have to handle a few Claymores. Their clothing, missions, everything. Not an easy job, but probably the most prestigious job for males working in the organization.

“My oh my… you’re just as your name suggests,” the older handler remarked, having to tilt his head upwards just to see the young man’s face. Makedon was tall, and well built. A perfect physique for a warrior.

“Ahh… sorry about that, Master Ruben,” Makedon replied sheepishly, probably a bit embarrassed that he caused some problems for his mentor. It was then that the young man noticed a group of young girls training at a grass patch nearby.

“Punch harder!” a loud voice filled the air, “You girls better not slack off! I’ll kill you if you do that!”

Just beside the group of girls was a huge man. Standing just as tall as Makedon, the burly trainer had his eyes fixed on the young girls. Any mistake, and the trainer’s gigantic fists will greet that unfortunate girl. These girls have yet to receive the operation. They’re just training to ensure that they are physically and mentally ready for the upcoming operation.

“That’s Jorge,” Ruben spoke suddenly, startling Makedon a little. “He is the toughest of all trainers. In fact, more girls have died under his training than all the other trainers combined. Pretty impressive, huh?”

What’s so impressive about that? Makedon thought to himself.
“Hey! You! What are you doing!?” Jorge shouted out. One of the girls had apparently stopped training. She just started walking away for no reason.

Whack! Jorge’s fists landed on the girl’s right cheek, sending the girl on her knees.

“This training is shit. I don’t need it,” the young girl retorted as she stood up, before she looked at Jorge straight in his eyes. Tears weren’t forming in the girl’s eyes, as one might expect. In fact, no a single shred of fear was detected on the girl’s cold and unfeeling gaze.

Jorge was taken aback. Known to be a no nonsense trainer, not once has a trainee dared to look at him in the eyes. All the other girls in the group dare not even look at what was happening. Yet this young girl showed no fear.

“You little slut! You sure are asking for it!” Jorge rushed forward to throw another punch at the girl.

Without warning, the young girl leapt sideways and pushed Jorge in the direction he was running. Slightly off balance, Jorge stumbled a bit before turning around to attempt another punch. Predicting that he will do that, the young girl quickly ran towards Jorge, then ran past him as he was turning. By the time Jorge turned around, the young girl was behind him again.

“Your movements are painfully predictable,” the young girl said in a calm manner, behind giving a hard kick to the back of Jorge’s left knee. With his left knee on the ground, the young girl could easily grab Jorge’s knife, strapped at his waist. Before he knew it, the sharp blade of the knife was only a millimeter from his windpipe. A small cut would be sufficient to kill him.

“Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic,” the young girl whispered to Jorge’s ears, before slashing his windpipe, her eyes not flinching one bit.

Makedon watched in horror as Jorge’s lifeless body slumped to the ground. A huge guy like him… has been killed by a girl less than half his size. Impossible! No way! Just who is she?

“My my… it’s been quite some time. Looks like we’ve got quite a talent,” Ruben smiled to himself, and walked off.

Yorae_paladin1

2007-07-22, 00:41

Well my idea is part my huge saga revelations of the past. The fic is called advent rising. Note here quite a few humans are not as helpless against yoma but these humans are also very much coveted by yoma as better meals than there normal bretheren infact normal humans are often ignored when special humans(neo human/those who draw upon the four powers of humanity)come in and yoma are at least twice as dangerous they begin to group up more often without awakened and the act much smarter many neo humans died cause of this. The reason yoma want them more they give off an extremely pleasing smell cause of the inner energy they release in larger quantities(an energy found in all humans but few draw upon it) and when the yomas eat the innards they taste like god made the meal.

The title advent rising means a prophecied human who shall break the limits of mankind and gain power equal to the gods he shall lead humanity into a new age and destroy the yoma once and for all. many humans are looking for him and yoma overall are ignorant of the prophecy except the 8 extremely powerful pure breed yoma known as the yoma lords they await the coming of this human to repeat the ancient war between man and yoma whom the lords tell where great wars and mankind was at it most fiercest and best by the yoma they were called human devils the devilmen worthy meals The yoma won the first war in ancient times why humanity is now plagued by them almost domesticated by them this will be the second.

Note about the yoma lords they are big on racial pride and hate claymores and awakened they consider them cowards and weaklings for forsaking how nature made them they have more respect for humans cause at least they stay proud of who they are they also hate yoma who serve awakened and kill them if seen.

Bikerider

2007-07-27, 17:40

throrine

2007-08-02, 18:35

i saw a mention of a possible story to make raki more cooler... And then i heard gender bending.. now common he doesnt need to be a girl to be a claymore. You can write whatever you like but if there is to be a story about raki i'd like to see him as a male claymore or a under control awakened being. His love interest in clare could be his whole key to remaining non human gut eating.

I havent read the manga. i'm in the prossess of getting it however and if raki is going to come back, from what i've seen in the anime i suspect he will be the "just in time power up hero". Maybe he will be this animes first wizard or something.. but definatly not a woman.

hollywoodlou

2007-08-02, 23:26

outside of the town:

Miata: It's here. The smell of a very strong Claymore

inside the town

Cynthia: Oh geez, Helen, did you have to eat such strong curry yesterday ??

Deneve: Some one crack a window before we suffocate.

Helen: Hey, we're undercover. We have to eat like the locals. Right ?

That's a good one...

Try this:

Clarice: What is it Miata?"

They're here. The smell of a powerful Claymore.

(pause)

Miata: Sorry, I can smell 3 very powerful Claymores. One lost both her arms recently (irene). The 2nd one seems to have lost one of her eyes (raphaela). The 3rd one has the same feel as Galatea.

Do you want me to kill them all at once, mama?

Tempest35

2007-08-04, 11:07

I thought that the Fab 4 reunion deserved some recognition. :D

Reunion ~ Pt1

In the Northern Lands in the country of Alphonse, snow, wind and cold were all that greeted traverlers to its domain. "Whew~ For once I'm glad I'm a freakin' Claymore," Helen raised her voice above the wind blowing the snow. "I'd be freezing in this weather."

"All of us would," Deneve looked to the bundled up citizens of Pieta as they walked briskly out in the streets. Mingled amongst them however were many others of their comrades. Most were concentrated around the central square, motionless as they waited for everyone to assemble. "This is going to be a big operation," she murmured. Never in the history of the Organization had Awakened Beings gathered in this large a force enough to warrant an equally large force of Claymores to be assembled like this. But something about how the orders were given grated her for some reason that she could not figure out despite thinking endlessly about it.

"Hey Deneve," Helen glanced at her friend, unknowingly disturbing her inner thoughts. "Do you think that they'll show up?"

The emphasis she placed on the word was a dead give-a-way and Deneve took a moment to think of whom Helen would be refering to. "You mean Clare and Miria?"

"Yeah! I mean," Helen hesitated, rubbing the back of her head, "This thing would be boring if they didn't show up." She couldn't quite bring herself to say what she was really thinking but Deneve clearly heard the worry in her friend's voice.

It had been months since they had last seen each other and no word had circulated on either of them. Well, they had heard that Clare had disappeared a while back while on a mission with the dreaded #4 Ophelia, inciting Helen to drink a little more than usual out of worry for her friend. She didn't get drunk, which was a good thing, but Helen's disposition afterward made her barely tolerable even for Deneve had she not known what had brought it on. To tell the truth, even though she didn't show it, she was slightly worried more for Clare than Miria. Miria was strong minded and a powerful warrior - she had to survive for it meant the survival of all four of them. Clare, despite the way she carried herself, gave Deneve the impression of an unruly little sister that always got into trouble even when she didn't mean to.

"Helen. Stop worrying. They will make it here. They are the same as us - stubborn." Her voice was as stern as always but her eyes gave Helen the feeling of a gentle caress.

"Yeah," Helen nodded, her face brightening a bit. "They had to survive up til now." She grinned and added as an afterthough, "Besides I can't wait to see how much cuter Clare's little boy grew up now." Despite teasing Clare about him, Helen thought that he'd make a pretty fine looking man - once he grew up that is.

Deneve wondered why did she bother with Helen sometimes. The thought barely had time to register properly in her mind when Helen suddenly stopped, staring hard through the snow at a street corner where two figures suddenly appeared from a side street. "Oi Deneve...!"

Deneve turned to where Helen had froze up. Already she knew that two more of their comrades had entered the town, bringing the total up to 23 now. One youki signature was fairly strong, the other one was so low it was almost laughable...yet oh so familiar.
"Those two are..."

Helen's face nearly split from the large grin on her face. "That's her! I'm sure of it! Clare-chan!" Helen broke into a run towards the duo with all the enthusuasim of a child seeing a playmate after a long time of being absent.

"Matte ku," Deneve couldn't help her smile as she briskly followed Helen at a walk. "You're such a kid sometimes Helen." Her eyes turned towards their combined target and her smile grew a fraction larger. "Nice to see you too, Clare."

Fenrir_valindri

2007-08-10, 23:06

The much continuation of my last fan-fic on this post :D (On page 5)

Hope you all enjoy it, (helpful) critique is appreciated.

Stories from the North…Part 2

“Just one more day…..I just have to hold on for one more day.”

That was what “Phantom” Miria had been telling herself since the day started.

They were (finally) on the way back to meet the others, and then she would

finally be free of Helen.

It was bad enough that Helen had embarrassed her a great deal by talking about

sexual intercourse with men during the second day, but she had also given her,

much to her dismay, pointers over “pleasuring one self”, a subject in which Helen

displayed a disturbing amount of insight in.

It got worse on the third day (believe it or not) when Helen started talking about

how she and Deneve used to…..experiment….as in…that way.

“It wasn’t really something either of us could get into to be honest” Helen

remarked, ignoring Miria’s shocked expression. “It was just too awkward, for both

of us.”

Miria knew she would never be able to look at Deneve in the same way again,

Helen had already scared Miria’s image of the cool-headed yet confrontational

warrior on day two.

Time could not pass quickly enough for Miria, so she did her best to keep Helen

busy. They were now in the process carrying back some useful material they had

found in a nearby abandoned town.

“Tsk, I really wish we could get some new clothes.” Helen said suddenly.

Shrugging the materials she was carrying to a more comfortable position

“I am getting sick of these old outfits we have been wearing; and they are

starting to wear out too” Helen demonstrated by poking a finger through a hole

in her shirt.

(She does have a point), Miria mused. (We could use new clothes, maybe I should

get the others to check out the towns, we might be able to find something that

would suit our needs.)

“It would be nice to change our image I admit, I dislike the fact we can still be

associated with the Organization with these uniforms.” Miria said, relieved

somewhat that Helen had picked a subject she was actually willing to talk

about.

“Oh not just that, I think the new clothes we have to wear should be stylistic,

something sleek, something with impact!” Helen said, a bit of excitement

entering her voice.

“I suppose it would be nice to change our image for the sake of changing it….”

Miria said, unconsciously tugging at her hair.

“Hehe, I don’t blaim you for wanting to change your hair a bit.” Helen said

with a grin, noting Miria’s action.

“……………..”

“What is wrong with my hair?” Miria questioned.

“Well..er” Helen said, suddenly hesistant.

“Well what Helen?” Miria said, feeling a twinge of impatience.

“Um..a, weren’t you saying something about searching for some new clothes

Miria?" Helen said, obviously not comfortable with the subject anymore.

(She doesn’t want to tell me!) Miria realized.

“Helen, don’t change the subject.” Miria said, using her best “commander voice”,

as Helen put it.

Helen jumped a bit, and avoided eye contact with Miria, like a child caught doing

something she shouldn’t.

“I’m waiting Helen”

“You’reforeheadishugeandIjustthoughtyoumighthavewa ntedtochangeyourhairtom

akeitlessobvious!” *

Helen blurted out in a rush.

“………What?”

(Did she just say my forehead was HUGE!?)

Miria stood their in absolute silence, no longer staring at Helen, her gaze now

focused on the ground.

“……..”

“……..”

“Um…….Miria?” Helen began hesitantly.

“…….”

“Errr…I didn’t mean to offend you or anything Miria, I really didn’t!” Helen said, a

hint of worry in her voice.

Miria simply turned around and began walking away.

“W-w-wait for me Miria!” Helen said following her.

“…….”

“I’m really sorry! Please forgive me!” Helen said, a pleading tone entering her

voice.

Miria stopped suddenly, and Helen followed suit.

“Back when I was in training, people used to make fun of my forehead” Miria

began quietly.

Helen shifted uncomfortably.

“But a friend of mine told me I should be proud of my features, and to not hide it

behind my hair(which was pretty long even then). So I started wearing my hair so

it showed my forehead instead of hid it.”

“Miria I didn-” Helen started, suddenly feeling bad.

“But that was a long time ago, and I was just trying to make a point” said Miria

turning around, a wry grin on her face.”

“S-so your not mad at me?” Helen said hesitantly.

“No, I am not mad at you Helen.” Miria said changing her expression to one of

amusement. It was kind of nice seeing Helen off-balance for once.

“Err, if that’s the case….if you feel like fixing your hair a bit, you know…..just

because, could I maybe do it?” Helen said looking embarrassed.

Miria’s face changed to one of surprise.

“Only if you want to!” Helen said, her face reddening further.

“You want to fix up my hair?” Miria asked.

Helen nodded, still looking embarrassed.

“I saw Cynthia helping Tabitha with her hair the other day, and I have been

wanting to give it a try since then.” Helen explained, looking slightly ashamed.

Miria assumed a thoughtful look, and with a nod, gave her consent.

“Really!? Thank you Miria!” Helen said; her usual cheer suddenly restored.

----1 day later----

“I’m surprised” Deneve said, “I’d have thought those two would be here before

any of us.”

“Why do you say that, Deneve-san?” Yuma asked politely.

“Because Helen could test anyone’s patience” Clare said “It becomes a lot clearer

when you are stuck alone with her.” Clare shook her head, remembering her own

experience in teaming up with the resident trouble-maker.

“Is she really that bad?” Cynthia asked, curious.

“She can be, but she can be fun to hang around too” Deneve said, a mysterious

smile on her face.

“There they are.” Clare said suddenly, staring off into the distance.

Everyone turned their heads to where Clare was looking, and several eyebrows

raised.

“Hello everyone, I’m glad you all made it on time.” Miria said, greeting everyone,

not even pausing to acknowledge the curiousity written on their faces.

The difference was striking to say the least.

Helen followed behind Miria, looking slightly nervous.

Their was a brief pause, and then--

“Your hair looks wonderful Miria!” Cynthia said with approval in

her voice. Obviously pleased with her commander’s new look.

Everyone else nodded their agreement.

Helen looked relieved, and Miria smiled.

“Why thank you Cynthia, Helen did the best she could with my hair, it was pretty

stubborn” Miria said, noticeably cheerier then usual.

Clare and Deneve traded surprised expressions, and then smiled.

(I’m so glad they liked it) Helen thought, immensely happy with her decision to

leave Miria’s forehead revealed.

(I guess being paired with Helen really wasn’t that bad) Miria thought, feeling

happy with her decision to trust Helen with her hair.

“Now Helen brought up a good point while we were paired up-” Miria began, and

everyone switched to “listening to the commander-mode.”

“It’s about our uniforms and how we should start changing our look.”

To be continued...

*What Helen said was;“You’re forehead is huge and I just thought you might have wanted to change your hair to make it less obvious!”

Hope you guys liked it, took me longer to write this one then the last one :p

Tempest35

2007-08-11, 01:15

Great job on it Fenrir! I was beginning to wonder about the continuations. :D So I suppose the next installment will be about getting the uniforms eh?

Fenrir_valindri

2007-08-11, 10:09

Yup, yup!

Will probably have Miria and Clare on that one, because Clare is the only one with experience wearing other clothes :D

Liked your fic on the fab 4 reunion, the one posted before the story I just posted, I always thought Helen displayed alot of concern for Clare, she just did not know how to express it in a nice way :p

Tempest35

2007-08-11, 10:40

Well, she's the only one we've seen that has worn other clothes. :)

I've always thought of the seven's clothes as being Clare's idea because of Irene. They look too similar not to be noticed. That and Irene looked ten times hawter in that outfit... :cool:

Random - Now that I think of it...I wonder how they'd sound if Flora's VA and Cynthia's VA were to have switched roles...Galatea would have some serious comeptition from Flora then because of that voice.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-08-11, 15:01

I noticed that too, Cynthia has Flora's voice in the anime as far as I am concerned, I imagine Cynthia talking whenever I hear Flora's voice and vice-versa

Tempest35

2007-08-12, 07:58

Ah, Cynthia...I actually shivered when I heard her voice again. So sexy~

I'll wait a few more eps before writing about her and the 'others'.

Oh, and I edited my previous two stories/posts. Now I think they're good enough to put on FF.net. :D Should put yours up too.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-08-12, 10:40

Been thinking about it, might do it sometime soon. :p

It is a shame the anime cant seem to get some of the Claymore's looks down right, at first Ophelia looked odd, and now Flora doesnt look like herself and niether do several other Claymore's in the northern campaign.
Cynthia looks alot more mature, when she looked kawaii in the manga :D

Tempest35

2007-08-13, 19:36

I know, they role-reversed Flora and Cynthia so much. I'm beginning to think of Cynthia as being hawt moreso than kawaii. I never did get into Flora all that much to tell the truth. She just didn't seem like she'd be of much importance to the overall scheme of things...and I was partly right. :heh:

Should ask Toxic to do a Lo'real commercial with Flora for the Claymore girls. XDDD

Man, it's not fair, so many ways to write MiriaXClare and I can't decided which one to use~!! Such a fustrating yet interesting dilemma! Can even have Helen teasing Clare about Miria wanting to go off with just the two of them and everyone else are chaperones.
Can you tell, I like these two soooo much better than the accursed ShizNat.

Mandrake

2007-08-15, 15:28

I'm always shy to put up my written work, but how else can you improve without some comments and critique right?

This is just a small part, the prologue of the storyline, the rest is allready well on its way of being written.

A question , after you've read it. Did you miss the complete physical description of the individual character? Or should it just be built up, as I go?

As for the actual prologue.

Warriors of the Past

Prologue

The wastelands, desolate and lacking in life that would seemingly stretch forever to the horizon, if it wasn’t for a pair of mountains intersecting it. The temperatures reach dangerous heights during the day, and incredibly chilling temperatures during the night. It’s not a good place to be for a human, without proper attires and preparation. However the 4 individuals following the barren trail are unaffected by the scorching sun, which is unsurprising for in fact they are no normal human at all, half human and half yoma, a dreaded predator to man. The female warriors wearing broad spaulders, in tight clothing with several pieces of armour, who bear no name apart from their own…are making their way to the mountain area. They carry huge claymores on their backs, and it’s by the ease of which they can wield those weapons, that the common folk have come to call them by their swords. Pale hair, piercing silver coloured eyes, these characteristics spawned yet another name for these women, ‘Silver eyed witches’. Yet the organisation these women belong to has no name.
Milana, the front most warrior and commander of the group, scans the horizon in front of her, slowing none of her pace down. “By nightfall we will reach the mountains, no resting until then.” Nightfall, she thought. How many days have we been walking? The depressing scenery reshapes at times due to vicious sandstorms filled with dust and debris, landmarks sometimes disappear under the sand while others are uncovered. Allot of people got lost in these parts which is why man made structures in key locations offered directions along with shelter. These old remnants of a different age are mostly ruins by now.
“Great” said Cecilia, the back most warrior in the file. Visibly annoyed, she kicked the pebble in front of her. She always hated the long distances they have to travel, and never fails to let others know so.
Seraphine, the one in front of her turned her head to face her. “It’s not like you aren’t used to this by now. Don’t tell me you’re tired already?” “Yes I am tired, tired of seeing nothing else but dust, dirt and rocks. It’s boring.” “Well I cannot argue with that” she said, sighing audibly.
There is nothing much to see or do in these parts of the region, no villages or towns dozens of leagues in any direction. No chances of running in a few yoma either, the wasteland itself is the predator. Yet when she noticed a snakelike creature slithering out from behind a rock, a smile crept on her face. “Look’s like we’re not alone after all” she thought to herself. “Then why not pass time a different way? The road is long, certainly enough for a tale or two. Any of you willing to share one that you might have remembered?” Agnes waited for an answer yet silence filled the group instead. She could barely remember the last time anyone had told her a story, only that it had pleased her allot. Cecilia was the one to break the awkward silence, “I am not much of a storyteller”. “Hah, is that so? Yet you yap the most out of us lot. You’ve complained about every little thing since we’ve parted from that town.” declared Seraphine “What? Well excuse me miss, when I have something to say, I’ll say it. I won’t sit idly and be still about it.” “You wouldn’t even know the meaning of silence, if you were a deaf mute!” Seraphina was trying to suppress her snickering, but when Cecilia started mumbling incomprehensively again in her typical manner, she could no longer hold it in. In between her laughing, she managed to squeeze out a few words. “Your face, hahahaha, hilarious!” They’re at it again Milana thought., can they get any more frustrating? “You blunt cow, how I about I comment about your face after I rearrange it for you?!” “There it is again, hahahaha!” It always amazed her how quick Cecilia would respond to the tiniest provocations. And the facial expressions that accompany with her anger, made it all the more fun to persist the taunting. This hasn’t been the first mission the two collaborated on. In fact more then once they’ve simply run into each other due to the geographic nature of the two neighbouring regions they operate in. Cecilia was on the edge of blowing up, and her face showed all the signs of it too. “Hahaha, you’re too easy!” Seraphine was wiping tears away from laughter now, this is one of her more favourite ways of relieving stress, by playing Cecilia. It occurred to Cecilia, that she had yet again fallen prey to her comrade’s annoying provocations. She fell for it, every single time. “Easy, I’ll show you easy!” Milana was about to say something, but it was Agnes that stepped up. “Calm down you two, spare us this bickering” The tranquil voice of her worked rather soothingly on any kind of demeanour, including those two. Milana was at times jealous of that, these kind of situations happen more frequently then one would like. Off course today was rather innocent, but it’s not always so. When more then 2 warriors are assigned to a mission, you can bet on there being friction. Milana usually had to resort to a certain sternness and volume to her voice, which as a result commanded respect. However in other cases it could also distance her comrades or worse, frighten them. She doesn’t really understand why that happens, so she at least tries to correct it before they should part. It also didn’t help that in height, she towers well over her fellow warriors. A result of numerous factors actually. “I wasn’t always like this”, she thought to herself. These thoughts lingered for a while until Agnes spoke up again. “To my original query, none have a suitable tale for this journey?” Briefly Seraphina and Cecilia looked at each other, but it was clearly written on their faces that they didn’t. Agnes didn’t cloak her disappointment well with her smile. “That’s too bad then, I was looking forward to one. Perhaps…Oh! What about you Milana?” Milana stopped dead in her tracks, with the rest halting nervously. The suddenness of the event made the 3 uneasy, thinking Agnes might have said something wrong. The uneasiness only increased when Milana slowly turned her head meet the eyes of her comrades, and those stared right back to her. “I know a few” The uneasiness now made room for anticipation and a hint of excitement. Not so much for the fact that she did have a story, but she as a single digit warrior, in the top 5 ranking no less, would voluntarily socialise, very uncommon if not a rarity. It was when Milana revealed a mischievous smile along with her words, that there was a reason for a bit of concern. Those feelings were washed away when a gentle smile appeared in place of the mischievous one with the words uttered. “Interested?” What am I doing, I’m not much of a storyteller myself Milana thought. “You girls never have seen a male generation warrior, have you?” “I have, sorta” Seraphim declared, “It had already awakened though. It’s not exactly an experience I’m fond of remembering. “Milana was a tad surprised “You’re lucky to be alive, who was your team leader?” “Nr. 2, but even with her, we lost one comrade to injuries, and the rest was heavily wounded. I’m extremely grateful we had Nr.2 with us, had it not been for her…”
Cecilia was shocked. “Are they all that powerful?” she asked. “There’s individual differences off course, and their former rankings to be considered. But yes, generally they are.” Agnes was more curious about the male warrior prior to their awakening. “You knew one personally?”
“Yes, the last two of the generation.” Contemplative on where to start, she proceeded to follow the path in front of her. The words started coming out, flowing out naturally as if she has been waiting for decades to tell the story.

Shizuru-chan

2007-08-19, 13:14

Hey!

My friend is writing a claymore fic, a romance fic, including Galatea and one other claymore. Now she cant decide who the other claymore should be. Maybe you guys have any suggestions/ideas/requests?

Best. :)

zato_1one

2007-08-19, 13:31

Tempest35

2007-08-19, 13:38

@ Mandrake

- physical descriptions as you progress would be better. Also the phrases, 'front most' and 'back most', really don't work. It makes it sound awkward.'First' would have sufficed just fine in that sentance as well.
“Great” said Cecilia, the back most warrior in the file.
Same note for this one as well - 'last' would be better IMO.
...hm, more spaces used to distinguish one character to the other.
Seraphine, the one in front of her turned her head to face her. “It’s not like you aren’t used to this by now. Don’t tell me you’re tired already?” “Yes I am tired, tired of seeing nothing else but dust, dirt and rocks. It’s boring.” “Well I cannot argue with that” she said, sighing audibly. When it runs together like that, it's hard to distinguish who's talking even though there are quotation marks.

jinntann

2007-08-20, 02:26

Panzerklein

2007-08-20, 04:20

Originally Posted by Shizuru-chan
Hey!

My friend is writing a claymore fic, a romance fic, including Galatea and one other claymore. Now she cant decide who the other claymore should be. Maybe you guys have any suggestions/ideas/requests?

Best.

yeah yeah yeah, just Helen

Galatea

2007-08-20, 08:13

Clare :naughty:

Clare would be the idea choice ;)

Bikerider

2007-08-20, 11:34

I'd say create your own Claymore and place her anywhere in time.

Sepia Tree

2007-08-24, 00:51

Uh my friend and I have just finished writing a joint fic called A Prostitute's Smile and it's about....a little "situation" that Clare gets into. I posted the link below but be warned that it takes place after the events of volume 12. So no complaining about being spoiled, okay ;)?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3742348/1/

Any comments and criticisms will be welcomed :D.

Tempest35

2007-08-24, 06:20

Interesting story. The little humor bits with Helen are great.
You tease me greatly with the image of Miria and a whip. :eek: :D

Negativedark

2007-08-24, 12:01

You know if Claire had thought to carve her symbol on the tree next to the goddess, or something, Raki could potentally have a way to know she's alive.
But Hey I liked it. It goes with my feelings that there are two things Claire can absolutly never be fully rational about, Raki, and also Priscilla, although the priscilla fixation didn't play much of a role. Good work though Sepia Tree, I give it a A.

Ferozban

2007-08-29, 12:27

I've heared that Toxic made a doujin fanfic. i cant find it in the picutre thread, does anyone know where it is?

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 01:59

Girl Talk is the one. :D

O.o Wow, people like Girl Talk? That's a surprise. Hm... I know the next segment is around here somewhere...

*Rummages*

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 08:08

Ahhhh~! You're the one who wrote that! Sumimasen for not recognizing you earlier, sensei! :D If my humble self may request an addition to 'Girl Talk' - a chapter/section for Teresa and Irene?? ^^

Which reminds me...*signs up to FFNET* ... Claymore needs more fiction... :D

EDIT: Just put mine up. Pen name's 'Arakan7'. Your turn Fenrir. :p

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 10:57

I usually don't do requests - these stories pop up on their own. But I'll see what I can do.

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 11:10

-_- You seem familiar to me.

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 11:24

"Familiar?" That's all?

How about this: The guy who started the first Claymore/Evangelion fusion, Song of Swords. That ring any bells? :-D

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 11:25

Uh? There is a crossover?

Why the hell i´m always the last to know these things;_;!!!!

Your the guy owner of the other forum right?

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 11:30

Erm... word to the wise:

Crossover = when the characters of two or more series meet.

Fusion = when the characters of one series are placed into the universe of another.

This will be emphasized by that the fact that Rei doesn't meet Claire, nor will Shinji meet Raki. Though I could imagine that some interesting conversations would result.

Raki: "You don't want the giant robot? I'll take the giant robot! I need to protect Claire!"

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 11:55

I like "in fire" better :3

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 13:35

"In Fire" is the work of three master authors slaving away for hours on end, prereading to make something decent of the fic.

Me? I just use Secret Writing Technique: Thousand Drunken Monkeys.

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 13:49

I like taking the funny, light hearted side to a dark toned anime like this one. Besides, it's fun to come up with all the different possibilities that these characters could become if put somewhere else.

*chuckles* At least we won't get the same kind of emo whining from Raki that we did from Shinji.

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 13:56

Indeed. Got a couple of crackfics in store for the main characters.

And Shinji... good lord, Shinji... *Curls up into a ball and twitches while remembering*

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 14:11

Yare yare...:heh: Maybe this will ease your mind.

Youma A: Hey! What's the matter.

Youma B: *hurling*

Youma A: Man, what a kind of person did you eat...?

Youma B: I think it was one of those 'No fat, No calorie, No sugar' type humans...

Youma: A: Haha, you got a 'stale' one!

Youma: He was young I swear it! I should have known something was up with him being all curled up in a corner muttering, 'I'm no good, I can't pilot it..."

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 14:13

XDDDD. You, sir, are a genius.

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 14:14

The youma would die by Emo poisoning. You can´t eat Shinji. Youmas would know that better. Hey..."Evil" Why not send Shinji, Rei, Asuka and Co to Claymore?

Ritsuko would be lovely, no one has ever seen a fake blonde before.

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 14:16

Shinji'd die of heart failure from shock. Rei'd probably last a bit longer with her AT field. Asuka would put up a good fight before nine flying yomas land on her and devour her in her entirety. Ritsuko'd probably join the Organization.

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 14:30

Rubel is probably Gendo great great.........grand father. :heh:

Rei could beat the crap out of anybody. It isn´t fair though. An Angel is cheating there.
Asuka would be the first to go "I WANNA BE A CLAYMORE"
Shinji would be like....Shinji would be like....I am pretty sure Easley and Shinji would get along juuuuussst fine. :naughty:

Ritsuko..Now that´s a woman that would of interest there, she and Maya. Her knowledge is more than enough to make the Claymore and the ORDER go..." must have have her". Maya...she´s a cutie pie, she isn´t save around Claymores you know. :rolleyes:

kureshii

2007-08-31, 14:32

Shinji appears at the top of a cliff, looking down at the four figures below. The Fab Four approach Shinji.

Helen: "So he's our target, eh?"

Helen rushes forward.

Clare: "Wait, something's not right... get back, Helen!"

Helen suddenly collapses to the floor, making heaving noises and grabbing her throat with one hand.

Clare: "He's... He's drawing the Yoki out of Helen!"
Miria (trembling slightly): "I was told this was just an average Yoma, but this... what the hell is this thing!? To think monsters of this scale are actually out in the wild...!!"

Deneve grimaces and rushes forward to pull Helen out.

Miria (holding Deneve back): "Stay back, Deneve! The last thing we need now is another casualty..."

*~*~*

In the distance, Galatea's eyes open slightly wider.

Galatea (thinking): "Who is this? Never have I felt such a large Yoki before... no, this isn't Yoki, it has a distinctive aura about it, more like a void being filled by Yoki than Yoki itself..."

Ermita: "That's Shinji."

Galatea; "Who?"

Ermita: "Shinji. The very first Claymore. Well, technically, he's not a Claymore - the moment we tried to inject him with the Yoma serum, he curled up into a tight ball and began releasing dark energies which sapped the energy out of anyone in the area, human or Yoma irregardless."

Galatea: "How did you stop him then?"

Ermita: "We didn't. We... evacuated."

Galatea falls silent.

Galatea (thinking): "My, my... you people sure have picked an interesting opponent indeed..."

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 14:35

Yeah. The Order is pretty much Gehirn when it poked the Angel in the hopes of seeing what it happened.

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 14:51

Y'know, this idea would need someone else's brain to work through but...GitS:SAC/Clay fusion. Our Pieta 7 plus a few others in that world... That would be a challenge...definitely.

...mrrr, now my inherited shounen-ness refuses to let me put the idea away...

superzombie23

2007-08-31, 15:33

This whole post is from the "[Manga] How will episode 26 {last episode} finish the season?" thread.

well i think its gonna end with priscilla not dying and teresa coming out of clare's tommy, all the claymores dead are bought back alive by using human transmutation{mind spelling}
And then everyone turns into LCL as part of the Claymore Instrumentality Project. :p

I can imagine it many years from now... The End of Claymore... (btw I have a lot of time right now) :heh: The beginning of the movie would start with Clare locking the door to Raki's room and then proceeds to rub herself infront of the sleeping Raki. We end up seeing a silhouette of her arching from her orgasm at the end of the scene. Then, the rest of the 1st half of the movie would be Clare fighting the Abyssal Ones and Priscilla. Before Clare went to fight, she gave Raki an "Adult Kiss" and told him that when she got back, they would do much more. The classical music plays in this spectacular fight, and she manages to strike down Priscilla. Then, a scene starts with Rubel shooting Galatea in the heart after Galatea's kamikaze bomb attack didn't go off, which would have destroyed the Org's base. While Galatea falls into a pool of LCL near the Uber-Teresa from the force of the projectile hitting her, we see Rubel mutter some words that we can't hear, and at the last second we see Galatea see a ghost of Naked Teresa standing in the room, and then a nice splash. Back to the fight, Priscilla ended up regenerating her wounds after being heavily damaged, and Clare just had a long AB fingernail go right through her eyeball, which makes her scream and run around like a psycho. They all ended up eating bits of Clare and crucifying her and Clare's Claymore friends watch with horror.

The 2nd half of the movie would start with Rubel releasing Uber-Teresa (where the research of Claymores came from in the org and is said to be the origin of all yoma and human), who is like hundreds of feet tall, is hot, has uber big boobs, and naked. In the process, he lost his hand that had the male-counterpart of Teresa inside it after groping cloned Teresa's boobs, which sucked his hand into her body and slowly his hand moved down to naked Teresa's secret spot, (a secret Claymore spot that no manga reader knows about yet), and the clone of Teresa gets sucked into the Uber-Teresa after disobeying Rubel's orders about killing all the Abyssal Ones. So, this activates Uber-Teresa with another purpose, and Uber-Teresa makes contact with Clare which makes her go crazy and scream like the eyes were going to pop out of her head, and then the rest of the movie would take place inside Clare's mentality after she gets wrapped up with AB tentacles in the shape of a cross. Naked Uber-Teresa tells her she has a choice if she wants to recreate the world with no one or keep the world the way it is. Then, Clare gets a flashback of when the Yoma raped her countless times over and over when she was a child, which makes Clare scream like a maniac and she starts to awaken in the process. Then, the sad but happy music starts playing, and Uber-Teresa starts sucking up the souls of the Claymore world. While Uber-Teresa does her thing, Clare's mind is in a sub-way train with Raki harassing her with sexual comments such as "Oh Clare, I know you masturbate about me. You can do it right in front of me U bitch!!" Then, Clare starts yelling at herself while fragmented images of Raki's appear on the screen. Then, theres a scene where Clare gets mad at Raki and knocks over a table and starts choking him. While that's happening, we see the Claymores in the real world start to dissolve, and we get to see their fetishes right before they explode into LCL. All the blood and crap from the people exploding around the world revolve around the naked Uber-Teresa. Suddenly, hundreds of scenes flash by the screen in a matter of seconds, and you get to hear most of the bad crap people said to Clare, and you see every scene where Clare's head gets bashed into the ground, where she is sexually harassed, stabbed, etc. In the next scenes, it would be Clare and Teresa laying naked on top of each other in LCL, and Teresa is talking about philosophical BS and stuff about dreams and reality, then Clare ends up seeing Priscilla and Raki having sex, and she stands next to them (We can only see Priscilla's feet dangling about in the air) while hearing things Raki said to her in the past about wanting to be with her. THEN, Clare decides she really did value her fellow Claymore friends, and you see a picture of Clare with Raki and Miria, Helen, Deneve. Uber-Teresa's neck ends up getting sliced and the LCL blood stuff gets sprayed all over the world. The movie would end with Raki and her laying down on the mutilated Uber-Teresa that destroyed the world they were on. Clare sees a naked Teresa standing in the distance. She looks away from a moment and Teresa disappears. She notices Raki laying next to her and starts to choke Raki, but then starts crying and Raki says something stupid. The End.

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 15:50

Raki in Asuka's place? I just don't see it happening.

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 15:55

Seriously, that scares me more than I care to admit... :heh:

Defiled one

2007-08-31, 17:31

OH! GOD;_; The memories!! The memories;_; OH god!!!

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 17:40

Nooo! The memories have come to take me away!!!

Wait, I never watched End of Evangelion... these memories aren't even mine... >.>

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 17:58

*looks at Hamstandini*

... he's a YOUMA!!

XD

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 18:15

'Cause only a Yoma can love a Raki/Claire pairing.

*Throws away the last of Defiled Ones' bones.*

Tempest35

2007-08-31, 18:19

Feeble attempt to stall the ever entroaching Raki/PRISCILLA pairing...:D

Hamstadini

2007-08-31, 18:23

How about a Claire/Raki/Priscilla compromise? I'm sure emu777'd love it.

Negativedark

2007-08-31, 21:22

I always liked it better when me and my friends would ask what if Eva ended like another anime, rather than shows ending like eva.

Anyways we all know the true romance of Claymore is Riful X Dauf. Although I do like the Clare X Raki pairing.

emu777

2007-08-31, 22:51

How about a Claire/Raki/Priscilla compromise? I'm sure emu777'd love it.

Let me tell you....I'll go for any ending where there is a lot of gore/plot devices or fantasy styled:D Raki just needs to be there to keep the whole clare/priscilla affair going;)(he should just go ahead and arrange a menage et trois as a way for clare and priscilla to make up:p).

....That any as every good anime viewer has seen raki is apparently the prze pet of the anime gods in this show and is UNSTOPPABLE (raki)--->:bash: due to his godly luck, thats all there is to it.

kureshii

2007-09-01, 06:47

O_O My eyes, they BURN!!

You forgot about Clare getting wrapped up with AB tentacles in the shape of a cross though, LOL

superzombie23

2007-09-01, 22:18

O_O My eyes, they BURN!!

You forgot about Clare getting wrapped up with AB tentacles in the shape of a cross though, LOL

Done :rolleyes:

kureshii

2007-09-01, 23:45

~_~ That sounds like the kind of nightmares one might potentially get from watching Claymore and Eva side by side; both are 26 episodes after all ;-)

I'll try that on dual screens during winter break and update you on the dreams I get, if I can remember them, LOL. But then again, I might end up so scarred I become a Shinji clone in a psychiatric ward...

Now, if only they'll do up a Claymore OVA to complete the comparison and finish the story ;-)

[edit]From the ep22 discussion, someone mentioned that Raki's screen time seemed to be increasing exponentially from the time he left Clare... and at this rate he might get 100% screen time in ep26. At this rate that whole episode is going to be Raki thinking about his family and Yoma brother and doing some soul-searching and more thinking about the 2 women in his life... this sounds familiar?

FrozenArctic

2007-09-02, 14:05

Let me tell you....I'll go for any ending where there is a lot of gore/plot devices or fantasy styled:D Raki just needs to be there to keep the whole clare/priscilla affair going;)(he should just go ahead and arrange a menage et trois as a way for clare and priscilla to make up:p).

....That any as every good anime viewer has seen raki is apparently the prze pet of the anime gods in this show and is UNSTOPPABLE (raki)--->:bash: due to his godly luck, thats all there is to it.

LOL! I agree with you! But there's just one thing I don't really think is going to happen... Clare and Priscilla can't really make up... can they?:confused: it'd be kinda weird since it would ruin all that Clare's been fighting for through out the whole anime! Since it was Priscilla who killed Teresa, I don't think Clare will ever forgive Priscilla, the one-horned monster who killed the person she loved the most. And to avenge Teresa was the only reason Clare became a Claymore in the first place!

Hamstadini

2007-09-02, 14:37

Well, no one said it had to be a ménage a trois. I'm thinking more Claire vs. Priscilla over Raki, which would make a great squabble.

Oh dear Lord... >< I'm thinking High School fics plots now...

Tempest35

2007-09-02, 14:55

Can always do an AU Claymore - Claymore High. But that might be best left to little comic strips than anything else. :heh:

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-02, 15:29

I dont know, it has potential :D

I posted the first chapter of Stories from the North on fanfiction.net, please Read and Review guys :D

emu777

2007-09-02, 21:26

I dont know, it has potential :D

I posted the first chapter of Stories from the North on fanfiction.net, please Read and Review guys :D

Pretty nice, it certainly had its funny moments:heh:, although it was kind of short. You might want ot consider adding in some more characters or some interesting situations Helen and Miria might come across....like meeting some male travelers up in the north right after their "talk" and seeing thier reaction to it, or something like that. Other than that it was a nice first try. Good work:)

Prongs

2007-09-02, 22:12

sorry my english is bad, but i Proudly present to you guys

Clay War
episode 1 Fight Back

a long long time ago in a continent far far away

The battle between Abyssal lord Darth Luciela versus Darth Isley has ended.
Darth Luciela was defeated and killed by her sister Claymore master Raphaela.
To prevent another act of darth Isley. The Orgs Senate has send a group of Claymore master.
7 ghost along with their pandawan. the senate has giving order to hunt down Darth Priscillia,
the master of the incident and bring darth Isley to Interogate.
During the mission Claymore master Claire has fallen to the darkside of youki and
became the Abyssal lord known as Darth Teresa.
This new darklord defeated Abyssal lord Darth Riful and spread the terror to the land.
Now the only hope was lay to young traveler Raki solo. Who has journey to became the strongest.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-02, 23:35

Pretty nice, it certainly had its funny moments:heh:, although it was kind of short. You might want ot consider adding in some more characters or some interesting situations Helen and Miria might come across....like meeting some male travelers up in the north right after their "talk" and seeing thier reaction to it, or something like that. Other than that it was a nice first try. Good work:)

Oh it will get to the other characters eventually, and the next chapter is still Helen, and also slightly longer.

:D

Part two of the story is somewhere in this post, just have not posted it on Fanfiction.net yet.

Tempest35

2007-09-03, 00:20

Whuuhaaahahaaa~ It's finally up there. :D You'll get hits in no-time - I already got over 350 hits for both fics already and they only got up there 2 days ago...

The people want MOAR!

@ Prongs - Star Claymores Wars now??? @.@! It would be an interesting one if you made it an epic. :D

crazyhorse

2007-09-03, 07:14

Ah I just read this thread today so I had no idea that the one who wrote the two Miria stories: "All Work and No Play" and "Rank 47" was you, Tempest. Great job on both. They were very incharacter and most of all gave readers some Miria loving. :p

And Fenir your fic was hilarious. I'm glad I checked out this thread since I read part two now.

Good job to the both of you! The fandom needs more Miria fics! :D

Tempest35

2007-09-03, 12:34

Hamstadini

2007-09-03, 13:20

Whuuhaaahahaaa~ It's finally up there. :D You'll get hits in no-time - I already got over 350 hits for both fics already and they only got up there 2 days ago...

Hits are easy to come by. People click on the links and leave whenever they feel like it.

Reviews? Not so much. Actually garnering praise or constructive criticism apparently takes time and energy for those who read, and thus, well... there's just not a lot of attention.

I've yet to see a story with a review/chapter ratio in the double digits.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 13:24

To true, I try to review every story I like, but sometimes even I get lazy when reviewing, so I can understand it sometimes when people do not review.

2nd chapter will be up on fanfic sometime this week, got lots of homework to do. >.<

Tempest35

2007-09-03, 13:30

Mah, well, people are fickle, so am I. ^^ I'm not too worried about how many reviews it has since I'm not going for 'Best Fanfic Author of the Year' award or anything like that. Not saying that getting a review isn't a nice thing...:heh:

crazyhorse

2007-09-03, 13:47

Thanks a lot CrazyHorse.

Believe me when I say, we're working semi-hard towards that goal. XD Mostly for humor fics though for me - I can't do a serious one to save my life, especially with these girls (unless it was an AU).

I already got a few notes on how to continue 'Rank 47' by making it a mult-facet character study on Clare through the eyes of the other Claymores (Helen, Deneve, Ilene, Jean, etc and of COURSE Miria). Seems like an intriguing challenge that I just might take up. :heh: I can experiment with different writing directions with this one...

Wracking my brain on if I could continue 'All Work and No Play' or just let it be a diiiiiiiiiiiiistant tie-in with Fenrir's fics.

For serious anime/manga like Claymore, I prefer reading humor fics about it. I just like seeing the usually uptight and serious characters find themselves in situations so outrageous that they would never be seen in the actual show. Yes, this means that the characters would become OOC, but as long as it's not TOO much, I can bare with it for the humor. If the fic is in character AND funny at the same time, then it'll be even better. That's what I saw in your "All Work and No Play". It was a very good job because I can see that happening as a little extra scene. Even Claymore's need some time to relax and have fun :D

Expanding on your "Rank 47" would be a nice series of one shots.

I would like to see Miria in a romance fiction, but I really don't know who she would be paired up with. Eh I would love to read a romance fiction with a pairing besides Clare/Raki (since I don't like the little brat; I used to be neutral) and Clare/Teresa period. Just wanna get a taste of something else. (:heh: I sorta sound like a yoma there).

And well for reviewing, people get lazy. I get lazy lots of time. Sometimes after I've read a fic and liked it, I don't know what else to say besides "Great job" so I don't wanna spend my time typing something that isn't constructive criticism and if it's not really constructive criticism, I at least would like my reviews to be more than two sentences long. Yeah I guess a review consisting of "Great fic! Update soon!" can boost your inspiration and make you feel good since it does show that SOMEONE is reading your fic, but it doesn't tell the author how to improve or what that person liked about the fic so it's pretty much useless. But I'm not a fanfic writer (yet, been thinking about writing some) so I wouldn't know how I would feel if I was in the author's position. Gah I'm just going around in circles. Ok basically what I'm saying is that I get lazy if I don't find enough from the fic for me to comment on, but sometimes I do get lazy just because. Blah I hope that what I've written is understandable :eyespin:.

Hamstadini

2007-09-03, 13:56

I would like to see Miria in a romance fiction, but I really don't know who she would be paired up with. Eh I would love to read a romance fiction with a pairing besides Clare/Raki (since I don't like the little brat; I used to be neutral) and Clare/Teresa period. Just wanna get a taste of something else. (:heh: I sorta sound like a yoma there).

Something different, hm? Well, there's always Roxius' "Silver Eyes and Cold Hearts," where Teresa and Claire get it on, Opehlia and Miria make out in a situation I don't want to remember, and Deneve and Helen have sex on a dance floor.

...Ye gods, I need to shower after recommending him. I feel unclean... ><

crazyhorse

2007-09-03, 13:59

Ahaha sounds...interesting. I'll just check it out to see how it's like.

Hamstadini

2007-09-03, 14:03

If you mean interesting in the "may you live in interesting times" Chinese curse sense, you're spot on.

His "Silver Eyes and Cold Hearts" is on the second to last page. The other one, "30 Sentences of Claire and Teresa" is on the last. The bastard beat me out for first fic placed on the Claymore domain.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 14:21

crazyhorse

2007-09-03, 14:24

Lol. I just finished reading his fic. How should I put it....well it gave me a chuckle here and there, but overall it's poorly written. His serious drabbles were pretty good, if boring, but the OOC ones were just too OOC. Well it gave me all the different couples to read about even if they are just drabbles and overall it was just something fun to read and not take too seriously. I think the author himself wasn't being serious when he was writing them.

Tempest35

2007-09-03, 14:49

Only fic I was ever having Romance in is my fic I am rolling around in my head.

Involved making up a OCer.
#4 of the male generation was the plan, and having him being the first partially Awakened.
Would follow his long quest in trying to attain Revenge against Isley, spanning over several generations, and possibly having him meet, or atleast sense various characters through out the series, including Miria. :p

:twitch::twitch::twitch: UGH!
Get out of my BRAIN~!!!
Seriously!! I was thinking of tossing the #4 of the Male class into a story! Argggh... XDDD This is too crazy...

:: Dancing in my head::
Somehow, the fool got away from when the other guys started Awakening one after the other. Since he held back (yes a guy can hold back if he REALLY wants to), he also got the hell outta there and hid himself, youki and all. So for nearly, give or take 150 years, he's still alive and kicking, taking out various youma for free when no one else is around and no one can see or sense him.

He meets up with Miria when the Fab 4 were scattered and after a while... blah blah...he tells her about the North (aka Rigald, whom he's got a nice hate for already)... and I'm gonna stop righ there.

Helen: Man, this is no fair!

Deneve: What is it now?

Helen: Clare's got a boytoy and now Miria!?

Devene: ... he's not...he's an ally.

Helen: Ne ne, you think they laid each other yet?

Deneve: Helen...

Helen: I wonder if she'll let us have turns with him...

Deneve: Shut UP Helen.

And with that, I have filled my daily writing quota...:D

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 14:54

Defiled one

2007-09-03, 15:06

Well I often have writers block and I find it hard to write in a language that isn´t my own.

Tempest35

2007-09-03, 15:23

RAWR my IDEA! /bites Tempest35

Was having it go along the lines of # 2-5 of the male generation go after an Awakened Isley, Rigaldo and Dauf obviously Awaken, #5 is killed, and my guy (#4) is heavily injured and gets away, but almost awakens but reverts back (he was unique that releasing Yoma energy was painful, kinda like how it feels good for Helen. :D

Was gonna have him meet the various characters until he meets Miria. :p

We best stop feeding of each others ideas lol

He was gonna be the one to help Irene build her little cottage, eh? :P

Okay fine, YOU write it but I get FIRST PRE-READ!:D And then he shall be the instrument of Simba's destruction - tossing him yowling from the apex of Pride - I mean Pieta Rock...XD Because we need some GAR in Claymore - Raki's not making the cut.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 15:28

Lol very well, I was thinking that maybe he loaned the cottage to Irene btw :p

and Yes, we need some GAR! :D

emu777

2007-09-03, 15:57

Well dont take too long fenrir/tempest, your makings for this story intrigue me and I want MOAR!!!:D

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 16:48

Letting tempest read it first, hopefully he gets done with it soon, just kind of a

intro to my story that I sent him, so its short. :upset:

Hamstadini

2007-09-03, 17:31

Well I often have writers block and I find it hard to write in a language that isn´t my own.

And yet, another chapter of She Lies is up...:eyebrow:

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 18:55

Decided to post the story, Tempest isn't on so he cannot read his yet. :p

Be Gentle, first OC story.

The Failure: Chapter 1: Meeting

They called me a failure.

My hair had not changed color completely after the operation.

I was not the only one; there were other failures as well.

Why did we fail, when so many others succeeded?

The Organization kept close watch on all of us, failure or not.

They were being careful; this was the first time anything like this had ever been done after all.

To think, we are forced to take on the flesh and blood of our enemy in order to defeat them.

I could still feel it, a second heartbeat; a heartbeat that was not human, it felt strange

having a heart that beat a split second after your own, but it was something I would have to get used to.

Even we failures had a purpose.

They pitted us against each other, to test our strength, it was obvious all of us were much stronger then before but some were much stronger then others.

The “successes” easily defeated the “failures” every failure except one.

Myself.

I had defeated all comers, I was better then everyone they had put me up against so far.

The “successes” looked at me with hate, they all believed that they should have been victorious.

That they should have been able to defeat a mere “failure.”

I was standing their, patiently awaiting the next person they would send against me, the next person to whom I would prove that I was no mere “failure.”

My opponent enter the ring, his long white hair swaying, his silver eyes focusing upon mine.

I could tell, he would not underestimate me like the others had, that much was certain.

He was handsome, at least by most standards, although I am certain many would consider him “feminine.”

He held himself like a noble, a former knight perhaps?

We stood their a few moments, analyzing each other, searching for weakness.

I found none.

He smiled.

“Begin” said a voice from outside the Arena.

I was a blur, I still found it surprising how much faster I was then before.

Remembering back on it now, I was so slow, so weak, so human.

I shot a fist forward, wishing to test my opponents strength, some of my previous fights had ended with this first blow.

He caught it easily, and I found myself flying back wards, the wind knocked out from my lungs.

How?! I did not even see him move!

I rolled midair, landing on my feet.

A split-second had passed.

He was still smiling, 20 feet away.

I charged again, this time coming in low.

I saw it this time, a kick, a mere blur, even to my silver eyes.

I managed to block it, but the force still drove me back 5 feet.

This time he did not wait for me to recover.

“Fast!” was the only thought that registered in my mind.

His entire body was a blur now, he rained blow after blow upon my quickly deteriorating defense.

I needed to do something, fast.

I barely dodged one blow, grabbed his arm, and shoulder rammed him.

That smile disappeared for a split second, pain replacing it it, but the smile reinserted itself quickly.

My stomach was already in pain from the first kick; I think it was a kick anyway, and my arms were screaming at me from blocking his attacks, but none of that prepared me for what happened next.

He grabbed my shoulders as we were falling, and before I could react, lifted his knee straight into my chest.

A flash of pain, and then darkness.

I regained consciousness a few moments later; I was on the floor.

I had lost; a failure once more.

“Hey” an unfamiliar voice spoke.

I looked up, it was him.

“That was a good fight; you are the first person so far to catch me off guard like that.”

He said with a different smile, one of kindness, on his face.

I looked at him for a moment, my mind trying to register the praise he had given me.

“My name is Isley, Isley from Alfonse, what is your name?” he said offering me his hand.

I stared at his hand for a moment.

I decided to accept it.

“I am Zeru, from nowhere in particular, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Isley of Alfonse.”

That was how we met, the so-called-failure, and the man who would one day be the strongest of the Organization’s male warriors.

-----------------------------------

Two shadowy figures stood nearby, in the observational part of the Arena.

"Impressive, both of them."

"Yes, very much so."

"Their names?"

"The winner is Isley, he appears to be one of our more successful ones, if not the most successful one."

"Interesting, and the other?"

"Zeru, he was originally a write-off, we thought he would perform poorly at first, but it appears he is worthy to continue to the next phase."

"Good, I am most interested to see how that one will turn out"

"It is rare for you to take an interest in one of our test subjects, Rubel"

"Is it really a surprise that I would root for an underdog Ermita?." Rubel responded with a wry grin.

"Hmm, I suppose not, very well, I will have you watch his progress closely."

It is short, but I wrote it up pretty quickly, and the next chapter should be longer, maybe, hopefully. :p

emu777

2007-09-03, 19:06

Decided to post the story, Tempest isn't on so he cannot read his yet. :p

Be Gentle, first OC story.

The Failure: Chapter 1: Meeting

They called me a failure.

My hair had not changed color completely after the operation.

I was not the only one; there were other failures as well.

Why did we fail, when so many others succeeded?

The Organization kept close watch on all of us, failure or not.

They were being careful; this was the first time anything like this had ever been done after all.

To think, we are forced to take on the flesh and blood of our enemy in order to defeat them.

I could still feel it, a second heartbeat; a heartbeat that was not human, it felt strange

having a heart that beat a split second after your own, but it was something I would have to get used to.

Even we failures had a purpose.

They pitted us against each other, to test our strength, it was obvious all of us were much stronger then before but some were much stronger then others.

The “successes” easily defeated the “failures” every failure except one.

Myself.

I had defeated all comers, I was better then everyone they had put me up against so far.

The “successes” looked at me with hate, they all believed that they should have been victorious.

That they should have been able to defeat a mere “failure.”

I was standing their, patiently awaiting the next person they would send against me, the next person to whom I would prove that I was no mere “failure.”

My opponent enter the ring, his long white hair swaying, his silver eyes focusing upon mine.

I could tell, he would not underestimate me like the others had, that much was certain.

He was handsome, at least by most standards, although I am certain many would consider him “feminine.”

He held himself like a noble, a former knight perhaps?

We stood their a few moments, analyzing each other, searching for weakness.

I found none.

He smiled.

“Begin” said a voice from outside the Arena.

I was a blur, I still found it surprising how much faster I was then before.

Remembering back on it now, I was so slow, so weak, so human.

I shot a fist forward, wishing to test my opponents strength, some of my previous fights had ended with this first blow.

He caught it easily, and I found myself flying back wards, the wind knocked out from my lungs.

How?! I did not even see him move!

I rolled midair, landing on my feet.

A split-second had passed.

He was still smiling, 20 feet away.

I charged again, this time coming in low.

I saw it this time, a kick, a mere blur, even to my silver eyes.

I managed to block it, but the force still drove me back 5 feet.

This time he did not wait for me to recover.

“Fast!” was the only thought that registered in my mind.

His entire body was a blur now, he rained blow after blow upon my quickly deteriorating defense.

I needed to do something, fast.

I barely dodged one blow, grabbed his arm, and shoulder rammed him.

That smile disappeared for a split second, pain replacing it it, but the smile reinserted itself quickly.

My stomach was already in pain from the first kick; I think it was a kick anyway, and my arms were screaming at me from blocking his attacks, but none of that prepared me for what happened next.

He grabbed my shoulders as we were falling, and before I could react, lifted his knee straight into my chest.

A flash of pain, and then darkness.

I regained consciousness a few moments later; I was on the floor.

I had lost; a failure once more.

“Hey” an unfamiliar voice spoke.

I looked up, it was him.

“That was a good fight; you are the first person so far to catch me off guard like that.”

He said with a different smile, one of kindness, on his face.

I looked at him for a moment, my mind trying to register the praise he had given me.

“My name is Isley, Isley from Alfonse, what is your name?” he said offering me his hand.

I stared at his hand for a moment.

I decided to accept it.

“I am Zeru, from nowhere in particular, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Isley of Alfonse.”

That was how we met, the so-called-failure, and the man who would one day be the strongest of the Organization’s male warriors.

It is short, but I wrote it up pretty quickly, and the next chapter should be longer, maybe, hopefully. :p

A good start but a you stated already fenrir, a trifle short. I really do look forward to your progress on this story and hope you can update/finish it quickly so as not to leave your reader in suspense:)

Tempest35

2007-09-03, 22:17

Ah don't worry, it will be epic once we're done with it. Not as epic as 'Silver Grey' but hopefully pretty darn close. :D And I find it hilarious that Mechalich is using a character from Valkryie Profile 2: Silmeria in it.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-03, 23:28

Added on to the ending a bit, reworked an Idea that tempest gave me.

Bikerider

2007-09-03, 23:34

Slowly my 25th Claymore fanfic is coming together.
That is... my fanfic about the 25th Claymore that was supposed to go to the North, but didn't make it due to "inconvienent" Youma battles on her way there.

emu777

2007-09-03, 23:46

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-04, 00:02

They are not immortal yet in my story.

This is their first experiment with hybrids, so they are going to want to test some things out first. :uhoh:

As for the actualy Claymore story, they age way to slow for them not to have hybridized themself in some way, or they are not human. :D

Edit: The second chapter of "Stories from the North" is up on fanfiction.net, please read and review :D

Hamstadini

2007-09-04, 00:59

For those that care, "In Fire Chapter 3: Forgiveness Offered" is up.

I honestly don't know what the customary way of posting story links in the thread is, so I'll act like I'm in Rome and put it in the spoiler tag.

ALERT: It is advisable that you read Manga Volume 11 in order to understand Priscilla's mindset. I have a link to free Claymore Manga in my ff.net profile, updated to volume 13. Also, this link will take you DIRECTLY to chapter 3 - if you want to start at the beginning, pull down the chapter list in the upper right-hand corner.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3688375/3/In_Fire

Defiled one

2007-09-04, 03:28

I reviewed.

Tempest35

2007-09-04, 07:34

I feel almost giddy now that the fanfiction thread has started revving up like it has in the last week or so.

As for the immortality thing...*shrugs* easier to work with characters we already know - besides I doubt if they're gonna be in the story much past this point other than to annoy.

@ Bikerider - the more the merrier. We'll be looking for your story soon. ^_^ b

Hamstadini

2007-09-04, 11:17

I reviewed.

Much thanks!

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-04, 11:42

Reviewed the story, chapter by chapter, was good stuff.

Hope you review my second chapter :p

Hamstadini

2007-09-04, 14:50

Much thanks. I'm saddend by some of my reviews... Do they really think that Miria would have rejoined the Organization without a backup plan? :-S

Tempest35

2007-09-04, 14:57

Actually I was more in shock that she rejoined at all... :heh: I suppose I can come up with three reasons as to why she'd do such a thing by Wednesday.

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-04, 15:01

emu777

2007-09-04, 15:25

I just read over your stories and reviewed hamstadini/fenrir keep up the good work:)

miroku2192

2007-09-04, 16:39

ok...i wrote this in like 5 min...it's an idea...but it's a bit un-organized. But i saw that people wanted Raki to be a bit stronger so heh

“Umm, excuse me, are you the one who follows Clare and gives her missions?” asked Raki. The man wearing the black suit and hat turned around slowly, with a smirk on his face saying “I thought you’d come to me…after all you’ve been wanting power all along, no? Is that what you want? Power? To protect Clare?” “Yes…I promised myself that one day I would live to meet Clare…and that I would be strong enough to protect her. I don’t want to get in her way anymore or be a nuisance. I want to fight!”
“Heh, I would love to see what happens if I made you into a claymore…but im pretty sure you’ve heard from Clare that the male generation of claymores were a disaster, a complete failure” replied the man.
“But…Clare awakened but was able to turn back. I know I can too! I want to protect Clare” said Raki arrogantly.
“Hmm…this is interesting, I’ll see what the organization has to say about this. In the meantime, just stay here”…
“BUT I CAN”T DO THAT! I CAN”T WAIT ANY LONGER! I HAVE TO PROTECT CLARE!!!”
“very well…I’ll see what I can do”

*A year later after vigorous training…*

*At the organization*:
“He’s become stronger than we predicted…in fact he is stronger than the one we lost years ago, Isley”
“But he’s become too full of himself, and he has no experience what so ever…”
“Well, send him to where Clare is, and hopefully we can take down the other abyssal ones and the awakened ones with Raki’s help”
“That’s absurd…he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Even though he is strong, he hasn’t had any experience”
“It doesn’t matter…we lose one boy and we’ll make another one”

*Raki is sent off to find Clare and help her on her mission*

*As Raki arrives at the scene, he sees Clare engaging in a battle with an awakened being, he jumps in and cuts off the awakened being’s head without even breaking a sweat*

“What? What was that…I didn’t even sense that claymore…who could it be?” pondered Clare in fear…
“CLARE!! CLARE!! I”VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!” shouted Raki.
“Impossible…a male claymore…but weren’t they all destroyed? Who are you?”
“Clare…it’s me! Raki”
“Raki? You look so different…and a claymore? How?”
“haha I promised you that one day I’d come to prot…WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!”

*Priscilla along with Isley comes in and attacks Clare*

“No…it can’t be..it’s Priscilla…I’ve waited all these years to exact my revenge…”

*raki lunges forward at Priscilla*
*clare jumps in and stops raki*

“no…this is my fight” said Clare.
“But clare…I’ve become a claymore to protect you, not to watch you” replied Raki.
“this awakened…Priscilla is the one that killed the person that meant the most to me…the one who made me who I am…”

to be continued?

Hamstadini

2007-09-04, 16:53

I am certain she has a backup plan, I am just suprised she would even stomach rejoining in the first place, Alicia and Beth would never be able to find them, and even if they did, They were planning on taking on Priscilla, Alicia and Beth are chump change compared to that. :D

>< You deserve a no-prize for reminding me of the power differences between Alicia and Priscilla. I think the real difference is in will - Alicia and Beth are now basically mindless automatons who will fight to the death, whereas Priscilla has shown mercy by letting them go.

I would have written up a little segment as to exactly how the Spirits of Pieta were pressed back into the Organization's service - perhaps they were ambushed, or ran into the twins and their handler accidentally - but the fact of the matter is that they are now in the service of the Organization again... because the plot demands it. I have no other excuse.

Oh, and for Miroku2192's story:

“BUT I CAN”T DO THAT! I CAN”T WAIT ANY LONGER! I HAVE TO PROTECT CLARE!!!”
*Rubel unplugs his ears*
"You don't have to yell. I'm standing right here, you know..."

Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)

miroku2192

2007-09-04, 17:08

@ Hamstadini...lol...

And now...for a slight continuation of the last story i posted...it's a bit better i hope :)!!!

"Deceit...Isley's victory"

“Hey Clare…why are you always late?”
“Sorry Miria…I was caught up in some things on the way here.”
“Well it’s about time we get going…”
“What? It’s just the two of us? Shouldn’t there be more? After all we’re hunting an abyssal one”
“Maybe the organization felt that we were strong enough to take Isley on by ourselves…afterall I am now #1 and you are #2”
“It’s all thanks to Irene”
“On second thought, why don’t we go spend the night in that hotel before we go?”
“But it’s not even dark yet, and why do we need beds…”
“Just do as I say”

*Clare and Miria rent a hotel, Miria looks around and closes the blinds and lets out a sigh of relief*

“What’s wrong Miria, you’re not tired are you?”
“No…didn’t you sense it Clare? Someone was following us…watching our moves. That’s why I asked for us to come in here. Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that the organization only sent us to take on Isley? Something’s not right here”

*Meanwhile, the one who was following Clare and Miria reported to Isley who was in Pieta*
“Ah, you’re back Rigaldo, my silver-eyed beast ”
“Could we please not use that name…”
“Haha, cheer up Rigaldo. Anyway, what of Clare and Miria?”
“I believe they’ve fallen for it. That conceited Number 1 thinks that Clare and she can take you on”
“I see…thank you Rigaldo. Oh and Raki…you can come out, you don’t have to spy on us…I’ve already seen you”
“Yes Isley, my deepest apologies” said Raki as he kneeled before Isley.
“Isn’t he a Claymore?” asked Rigaldo.
“He was…but now he is one of us. I think he might be as strong as you Rigaldo; maybe he’s even stronger than you…”
“How did he turn into an awakened being? He seemed strong enough to take Priscilla on.”
“raki, may I ask you to leave?”
“Yes, Isley”

*Raki leaves*

“Eralc, would you come out please”
“Eralc? Who is Eralc” questioned Rigaldo
“he…is my trump card”
“Hello Isley”
“Isn’t that…Clare?!? What is she doing here?” asked Rigaldo

*Eralc laughs and suddenly turns into a man that looks exactly like Rigaldo*
“Are you sure I’m clare?” asked Eralc.
“You see…he has the ability to change into anyone he wants” said Isley. “I used him to lure Raki. In that fight, I pretended to kill Eralc, who was dressed up as Clare. As a result, Raki was enraged and went over his limit as he tried to defeat me. It was a bit sad though…I lost Priscilla. She couldn’t bring herself to kill Raki…I don’t know what she sees in him”
“Heh, isley, you’re as ingenious as ever” replied Rigaldo, who then left.

Isley turned around and looked into the moon... “So…what are you going to do Clare, Miria?”

to be continued :)?
p.s. - hope u guys like the idea...or at least get what im trying to say lol

Bikerider

2007-09-04, 18:47

I'm about 80% done first draft of my 25th Claymore fanfic... Still needs a bit more in the middle. Rafaela never looked more human. Rubel... yeah.. he's there in the end. As expected.

Hamstadini

2007-09-04, 20:07

In Fire has 36 reviews, beating out Silver Grey! O.o

*Warning - Rapid ego inflation detected. Cranial pressure at critical. Explosion immenent*

Oh cr -

*BOOM!*

*Splat*

Negativedark

2007-09-04, 22:57

I need to log into ff.net and give you reviews. For now lets just say that I really enjoy your claymore fics. Also need to read notebook sometime.
Note to self, make my friend hurry up and get my that copy of open office so I can post on ff.net again....

Hamstadini

2007-09-05, 00:49

And speak of the devil... Silver Grey has been updated. :eyespin:

Fenrir_valindri

2007-09-05, 00:58

I put alot of effort into this one, kinda watered up my eyes a bit.

Tales from the North part 3

The howling wind and the sound of snow crushed beneath boot was the only sound that could be heard for miles.

Miria sighed.

After spending an entire week with Helen, the beautiful sound of silence should have been a comfort to her.

But it wasn’t, the reason why?

Clare was why.

Normally Clare’s silence would be appreciated, and in a way; was expected, but today was different somehow.

The air felt tense for some reason. Miria could have sworn Clare was staring a hole into her back.

The question was, what did Clare want to say, and more importantly, why didn’t she just come out and say it?

Clare had been acting odd for awhile, looking back on it now, more separated from the group then she usual was.

That was not good; Clare was never a very good team player, often jumping into the fray, despite orders not to.

Despite Clare’s cool exterior, she was as hot-headed as Helen, if not more so. The only time Miria had ever seen Clare work exceptionally well in a team was with Flora.

Flora was dead, 3 years dead.

Jean too, perhaps that was the reason she did not work well with others?

Was it because those that she grew close to died? The deaths of Jean and Flora had been a heavier blow for Clare then most of us, but still she found it unlikely that that alone wou—

“Miria” said a voice from behind her.

Miria stopped, she had gotten lost in thought again; she was starting to develop a bad-habit of doing that.

“Is there a problem Clare?” Miria said, facing Clare.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

(Tell me something I don’t know) Miria sighed inwardly.

“What is it Clare?” Miria stated simply, crossing her arms, her expression one of patience.

“How?”

Miria stared at Clare for a moment.

“You are going to have to be more specif-“ Miria started.

“How can you stand waiting up here for 3 years, waiting so long for revenge on the people who wronged us?” Clare said, heat entering both her expression and her voice.

The question startled Miria, this was defiantly unexpected.

“I don’t see how you can stand it, how the others can stand it.” Clare continued, eyes focused on Miria.

“The only thing keeping me here is my search for Raki, if it wasn't for that I woul-“

“Fear” was Miria’s simple reply.

Clare’s heated expression transformed into one of shock.

Then her features began to change to anger.

“FEAR!? Miria how coul-“

“I was not finished yet Clare.” Miria said cooly, quelling Clare’s outrage.

Clare’s lips closed, her features struggling to regain composure.

“Yes, fear Clare, I am afraid.” Miria continued, her eyes locked onto Clare’s.

“I am afraid of what will happen if we screw up, if we just go off without a plan, without being prepared, what then?”

Clare’s expression cracked again, this time one of astonishment.

“If I lead us out of here, on a blind quest for vengeance, we will all die, of that I have no doubt. I want us to be prepared; I want us to be ready before we move, because if we fail, not only will all those who entrusted their spirits to us have done so in vain, I would also be personally responsible for getting you all killed.”
Miria stopped, let her words settle into Clare's mind.

Clare remembered then, 3 years ago, a broken figure in the snow, crying over the people she couldn’t save, despite the fact she had saved more then anyone thought possible.

She had felt responsible despite the fact that she had saved the lives of the six other warriors now surviving here in the north.

Clare suddenly felt ashamed.

“I don’t want anymore of my friends to die on me Clare” Miria said, placing a hand on Clare’s shoulder.

"The only reason I am able to stay here is because I am able to share my pain with you all, because you all support me, do you understand that Clare?" Miria said, her gaze never wavering.

“I understand Miria.” Clare replied quietly, looking away from Miria’s eyes.

It was hard for her to stare into the determined, unwavering eyes of her leader.

-------------------------------------------

They had continued to walk along, now in the remains of yet another ruined village, a nearby abandoned leatherworking shop appeared to be Miria's goal.

The silence had returned, and this time it's victim was Clare.

Miria's words had affected her greatly, and Clare found herself developing a newfound respect for her commander.

(Miria is so strong) Clare thought.

All this time, despite her own desire for vengeance, Miria put her comrades first, she treated them like family.

Family; that was a word that sparked old memories in Clare, a word she associated two important people not related to her by blood, two important women that Clare kept close to her heart.

The first was Teresa, her sister, the one who had returned the color to her world, and in a way, her mother, the one whose flesh and blood she carried inside her.

The second was Irene, who had given her the strength and resolve to continue on her impossible quest, her mentor, the one who had sacrificed a part of herself for her, and smiled.

And now…..

Clare decided.

“Miria, there is something I want to tell you.” Clare said, raising her head, and staring straight into Miria’s eyes, determination shining in her silver eyes.

Healing was was a slow process for the heart, and if someone as strong as Miria needed the support of others to help her, then maybe she did as well.

"I want to tell you about something I have kept hidden from you and the others, about my past.....and about my family."

Took a step away from humor, but kept to the friendship theme.

Edit: Added in and reworked some stuff, ty for the help guys!

Hamstadini

2007-09-05, 01:07

It was pretty good, seems ripe for drama. The only qualm I had was with the sudden switch in perspective - traditionally, an author keeps to the head of one person in a segment, and doesn't switch to the other so quickly. It is...jarring to the reader.

The problem is, the last half of the segment has to deal with Claire. There's no other way around it. Which means to keep to the "traditional" narrative, you'd either need to have Claire spilling her guts out (metaphorically) or you'd need to have a line break. Neither of which are very good options.

Another thing you could do is have this segment done in Claire's POV instead of Miria's, but you seem to identify more with Miria... *shrug* my suggestions are limited.

emu777

2007-09-05, 01:17

I put alot of effort into this one, kinda watered up my eyes a bit.

Tales from the North part 3

The howling wind and the sound of snow crushed beneath boot was the only sound that could be heard for miles.

Miria sighed.

After spending an entire week with Helen, the beautiful sound of silence should have been a comfort to her.

But it wasn’t, the reason why?

Clare was why.

Normally Clare’s silence would be appreciated, and in a way; was expected, but today was different somehow.

The air felt tense for some reason. Miria could have sworn Clare was staring a hole into her back.

The question was, what did Clare want to say, and more importantly, why didn’t she just come out and say it?

Clare had been acting odd for awhile, looking back on it now, more separated from the group then she usual was.

That was not good; Clare was never a very good team player, often jumping into the fray, despite orders not to.

Despite Clare’s cool exterior, she was as hot-headed as Helen, if not more so. The only time Miria had ever seen Clare work exceptionally well in a team was with Flora.

Flora was dead, 3 years dead.

Jean too, perhaps that was the reason she did not work well with others?

Was it because those that she grew close to died? The deaths of Jean and Flora had been a heavier blow for Clare then most of us, but still I find it unlikely that that alone wou—

“Miria” said a voice from behind her.

Miria stopped, she had gotten lost in thought again; she was starting to develop a bad-habit of doing that.

“Is there a problem Clare?” Miria said, facing Clare.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

(Tell me something I don’t know) Miria sighed inwardly.

“What is it Clare?” Miria stated simply, crossing her arms, her expression one of patience.

“How?”

Miria stared at Clare for a moment.

“You are going to have to be more specif-“ Miria started.

“How can you stand waiting up here for 3 years, waiting so long for revenge on the people who wronged us?” Clare said, heat entering both her expression and her voice.

The question startled Miria, this was defiantly unexpected.

“I don’t see how you can stand it, how the others can stand it.” Clare continued, eyes focused on Miria.

“The only thing keeping me here is my search for Raki, if it wasent for that I woul-“

“Fear” was Miria’s simple reply.

Clare’s heated expression transformed into one of shock.

Then her features began to change to anger.

“FEAR!? Miria how coul-“

“Do not interrupt!” Miria said, overriding Clare’s outrage.

Clare’s lips closed, her features struggling to regain composure.

“Yes, fear Clare, I am afraid.” Miria continued, her eyes locked onto Clare’s.

“I am afraid of what will happen if we screw up, if we just go off without a plan, without being prepared, what then?”

Clare’s expression cracked again, this time one of astonishment.

“If I lead us out of here, on a blind quest for vengeance, we will all die, of that I have no doubt. I want us to be prepared; I want us to be ready before we move, because if we fail, not only will all those who entrusted their spirits to us have done so in vain, I would also be personally responsible for getting you all killed.”
Miria stopped, let her words settle into Clare's mind.

Clare remembered then, 3 years ago, a broken figure in the snow, crying over the people she couldn’t save, despite the fact she had saved more then anyone thought possible.

She had felt responsible despite the fact that she had saved the lives of the six other warriors now surviving here in the north.

Clare suddenly felt ashamed.

“I don’t want anymore of my friends to die on me Clare” Miria said, placing a hand on Clare’s shoulder.

"The only reason I am able to stay here is because I am able to share my pain with you all, because you all support me, do you understand that Clare?" Miria said, her gaze never wavering.

“I understand Miria.” Clare replied quietly, looking away from Miria’s eyes.

(Miria is so strong) Clare thought.

All this time, despite her own desire for vengeance, Miria put her comrades first, she treated them like family.

Family; that was a word Clare had associated two important people with, two important women that Clare kept close to her heart.

The first was Teresa, her sister, the one who had returned the color to her world, and in a way, her mother.

The second was Irene, who had given her the strength and resolve to continue on her impossible quest, her mentor, the one who had sacrificed a part of herself for her, and smiled.

And now…..

Clare decided.

“Miria, there is something I want to tell you.” Clare said, raising her head, and staring straight into Miria’s eyes, determination shining in her silver eyes.

Healing was was a slow process for the heart, and if someone as strong as Miria needed the support of others to help her, then maybe I do too.

"I want to tell you about something I have kept hidden from you and the others, about my past.....and about my family."

Took a step away from humor, but kept to the friendship theme.

Hmmmm.....this chapter does have a certain je ne ces quos to it(even if it is a little short:(), although it definitley doesent keep with the mood. also you might want to mention something about the quest for new unforms just for chapter linkage purposes.:)
Again keep up the good work.