View Full Version : Nanoha FanFiction Discussion
Saved by the bell
Length:8,000 words
Status: chapter -complete. Spellcheck -not yet. Card -not yet. diary entries- not yet.
ETA: Tomorrow night 100%.
Estimated length: about 9,000 words
I don't like the start of this chapter, as it's just random WAFF. Doesn't do anything for the plot, but does make characters get closer. Anyway, the END of this chapter I rather like. I got some great Precia/Fate moments and the diary entries will be great as well. Also got a TON of plot out of the way. So I think this chapter averaged out okay.
Oh, one thing though. I got a review saying that they felt as if this chapter was about "two American teens" and not really Nanoha/Fate.....Well, I don't know how much like the canon characters I can get them, as they don't use magic nor are interested in the military... Am I doing an okay job with them? Suggestions on how to improve it?
As far as "American" goes...well, I can't really see that. After school activities. Clubs. Cosplay café. School uniforms. I don't really know how I made them come off as "American"....I do intentionally use dollars in this story instead of yen. And first name first, last name last (which I don't know why...) But other than that, is there anything I can do to make this more....Japanese-y?
all help appreciated >.<
I was the one who left that review. sorry I didn't elaborate more. This is just my feelings on it.
When I said American, I meant some of the dialogue and some aspects of Nanoha and Fate’s personality, not the Japanese culture/school part. (e.g. using “Oh man…” or “Come now, up and at'm silly girl” and a few other really North American colloquial phrases.)
And Fate seemed a little too open and not shy? (e.g. when she was telling Nanoha that she slept in the nude, or referencing an orgasm while eating that cookie in chapter 3. didn’t really feel very Fate to me… more like a North American teenager.)
Like in A’s, Fate was soft-spoken and easily embarrassed (e.g. A’s drama CD, Fate got embarrassed at the bath house because Amy let loose that she can’t wash her hair alone and kept insisting that she could) … even in StrikerS. Here, she was more socially adapted than in A’s so it explains the lack of shyness but she was still reserved in a polite… more quiet manner (e.g. last ep of StrikerS, everyone was all rallied for the all-out battle but Fate was the one who had reservations at first). And even though she was close to Nanoha, they were still quite polite with each other and their interactions tend to be more... soft (don't really know how to say this... maybe I'll think of it later)
and unlike the end of the first season, Fate and Nanoha have yet to go through a similar big breakthrough in your fic so I just felt that Fate was opening up a little too quickly. Asian cultures tend to be more reserved about sharing personal details (especially family details) unless the person is really really close to them.
Precia, although very interesting and fun this way, seemed just a little too perky. A nice Precia for me would be easier to imagine if she was like the Precia in Fate’s dream in Nanoha A’s when she was sucked into the Book of Darkness.
but all in all, this is an alternate universe so lots of things are up to interpretation. whatever feels best for you.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-17, 02:23
I was the one who left that review. sorry I didn't elaborate more. This is just my feelings on it.
When I said American, I meant some of the dialogue and some aspects of Nanoha and Fate’s personality, not the Japanese culture/school part. (e.g. using “Oh man…” or “Come now, up and at'm silly girl” and a few other really North American colloquial phrases.)
And Fate seemed a little too open and not shy? (e.g. when she was telling Nanoha that she slept in the nude, or referencing an orgasm while eating that cookie in chapter 3. didn’t really feel very Fate to me… more like a North American teenager.)
Like in A’s, Fate was soft-spoken and easily embarrassed (e.g. A’s drama CD, Fate got embarrassed at the bath house because Amy let loose that she can’t wash her hair alone and kept insisting that she could) … even in StrikerS. Here, she was more socially adapted than in A’s so it explains the lack of shyness but she was still reserved in a polite… more quiet manner (e.g. last ep of StrikerS, everyone was all rallied for the all-out battle but Fate was the one who had reservations at first). And even though she was close to Nanoha, they were still quite polite with each other and their interactions tend to be more... soft (don't really know how to say this... maybe I'll think of it later)
and unlike the end of the first season, Fate and Nanoha have yet to go through a similar big breakthrough in your fic so I just felt that Fate was opening up a little too quickly. Asian cultures tend to be more reserved about sharing personal details (especially family details) unless the person is really really close to them.
Precia, although very interesting and fun this way, seemed just a little too perky. A nice Precia for me would be easier to imagine if she was like the Precia in Fate’s dream in Nanoha A’s when she was sucked into the Book of Darkness.
but all in all, this is an alternate universe so lots of things are up to interpretation. whatever feels best for you.
Well, i do agree, atleast partially, with you about fate's personality quirks...
...but otherwise the characters seems rather plausible to be japanese. Also, the ways things are said could be interpreted as north american way of saying stuff because it's written in english, hence all the sayings and figures of speech should be english, and since the writer probably isn't that familiar with british sayings, she goes with north american ones. :p
...@Satashi-chan: please keep writing them as you have, because if you start rewriting the personalities and quirks that they possess atm, you'll end up with some real sketchy plot holes (in the lack of a better term) and it'll downgrade the overall quality of the story. :uhoh:
Just remember, you can't please everyone, and it's your fic so you write it as you wish. ;)
...Though I have to admit I didn't think anyone would be affected by him that much. O.o Cause he's just a sort of random character out of the blue that I dumped evilness and evilness and evilness into it. I'm not much of a creator, which is why I usually stay far, far away from OC characters. I would have used Jail, but he's not quite suitable either.
*tries to fix chair but ends up making it squeaky*
...Well. At least you can still, uh, sit on it...
I've got a strong sense of justice or something like that, so people like him really get to me... Saying that i hate evil people is perhaps a bit redundant, but that seems to be the case.
...oh, and don't mind the chair, the armrest had been both squeaky and loose for quite a while... it's only a bit more so now (as in, unattached) :heh:
I kinda get what you're saying now. A few things, like dialog, was made because like someone else said, this is a fanfic in English. So I use English phrases. I try to keep Japanese things if I can, like greeting "Good morning" never happened at my school. It was always"yo" "sup" "hi" or no greeting at all, just talking.
Hmmm....Fate. I think I said this before, on the old thread, so I'll give my thoughts again. Fate, to me, isn't so much as shy but easily embarrassed. In A's, Fate never really held back her thoughts or actions. In the manga, she was open and forward (like during the dodge ball game, she was the leader and it showed). However, when someone teased her in anyway, she got embarrassed super fast and tried to defend herself. I think I portrayed that in SbtB well?
Okay, them being too open too soon... *thinks* Well, Fate has a crush and therefore naturally likes Nanoha. She perked Fate's interest right away you could say. I do agree that they seem to have gotten close so soon. But so far around two months have passed since they met. I tried in this new chapter to kind of give a reasoning for Nanoha being so clingy to Fate. Hopefully that will help this out. Let me know if it worked when it's posted?
Precia...Hooooboy. Can't deny that one at all XD! She's too perky, too lively, too out spoken, and a lot of other "too" 's as well lol. I'll have to say here that I.... well, I used "author's privileges in an Alternate Universe" to shape her up. How did I get her personality? My aunt hahaha. My aunt is just like Precia in this story. I think Fate really needs a good mother and since I had the chance.... I'm making up for all those bad things I wrote about Fate with this story XD! (actually no, I'm embarrassing 10 years off Fate's life )
I can't change the characters now since I'm in so far, but I can start making things a little better. Do you have any suggestions on things they might do instead of what they have been? Like, instead of "up and at'm silly girl" What do you think should have been said? I'll try to adjust a little without exactly changing what they are.
Just remember, you can't please everyone, and it's your fic so you write it as you wish.
I will, don't worry. Advice never hurt anyone though ^_^ I may take it, may not, but it's great to be able to reflect back and see things that I could have done better ^_^
...Don't put ideas in my head, I beg. You're going to start making me list out things like behavior and looks and etc which I've been trying to avoid thinking of desperately, because then it's going to make me fond of him and...and... DD:
...but it could be entertaining. The fandom needs more bad guys so I can use them for...certain purposes...
THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!!
THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!!
THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!!
THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!!
THE POWER OF OC COMPELS YOU!!! </GEASS>
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! </Borg>
===
On another note, might as well read and dig up some more of my pieces...
krisslanza
2008-01-17, 10:10
Ok I have a timeline down now! Since I have a 4 day weekend (I don't have classes on Friday, and I don't feel motivated to spend $2.50 tomorrow to get to use the computers for 5 hours, they close early on Friday) I'll use as much of that weekend as I need to finish School of Lyrical chapter 3. It must be finished I say! I've taken far longer then I wanted as is already because I'm so lazy :heh:
Then any freetime will go into turning my Arc-en-Ciel teaser into an official prologue. I've decided Yggdra Union fic gets the boot down on my list to below finishing Rune and other things. Low priority to me now :uhoh: Nanoha has consumed my soul :eyespin:
Ok I have a timeline down now! Since I have a 4 day weekend (I don't have classes on Friday, and I don't feel motivated to spend $2.50 tomorrow to get to use the computers for 5 hours, they close early on Friday) I'll use as much of that weekend as I need to finish School of Lyrical chapter 3. It must be finished I say! I've taken far longer then I wanted as is already because I'm so lazy :heh:
Then any freetime will go into turning my Arc-en-Ciel teaser into an official prologue. I've decided Yggdra Union fic gets the boot down on my list to below finishing Rune and other things. Low priority to me now :uhoh: Nanoha has consumed my soul :eyespin:
The power of Nanoha Compels thee! *holy water!*
Start writing, and pay that two fifty!
Kirika-chan
2008-01-17, 11:12
Precia...Hooooboy. Can't deny that one at all XD! She's too perky, too lively, too out spoken, and a lot of other "too" 's as well lol. I'll have to say here that I.... well, I used "author's privileges in an Alternate Universe" to shape her up. How did I get her personality? My aunt hahaha. My aunt is just like Precia in this story. I think Fate really needs a good mother and since I had the chance.... I'm making up for all those bad things I wrote about Fate with this story XD! (actually no, I'm embarrassing 10 years off Fate's life )
I just want to say that Precia is the character that I like the most compare in the original serie ^^ (because she's really not the same XD)
But, of course I prefer Nanoha and Fate :p and even if they change much, I like this imagine side of characters. (sorry if nobody understand me XD!!)
I just want to say that Precia is the character that I like the most compare in the original serie ^^ (because she's really not the same XD)
But, of course I prefer Nanoha and Fate :p and even if they change much, I like this imagine side of characters. (sorry if nobody understand me XD!!)
Your English is really good, don't worry!
I'm told Precia is a lot of character's favourite lol.
So, how about some fun. Blame Haru for showing me how to use polls ><
Vote for your fave character in SbtB
http://snappoll.com/poll/245211.php
krisslanza
2008-01-17, 11:24
The power of Nanoha Compels thee! *holy water!*
Start writing, and pay that two fifty!
Nooo holy waaater! *Flails on the ground and writhles* (No clue how to spell that XD)
Well I guess it wouldn't hurt :P I've been eating like a bag of chips and a candy bar for lunch so I have left over lunch money I could spend on bus fare instead... :heh: I think I'll do that. I'm a internet addict anyway :nod: I'll use Friday as my last day (until Tuesday) to plot out Arc-en-Ciel with my friend and use Saturday, Sunday, and Monday for vigorous writing :heh:
I kinda get what you're saying now. A few things, like dialog, was made because like someone else said, this is a fanfic in English. So I use English phrases. I try to keep Japanese things if I can, like greeting "Good morning" never happened at my school. It was always"yo" "sup" "hi" or no greeting at all, just talking.
I get where you're coming from. maybe it's just a personal quirk but when using certain (not all, some) colloquial english phrases in dialogue, it takes away the japanese tone, such that, it's a little difficult to imagine the character saying it. Yo or sup would be a little too north american IMO. 'hi' would work or just launching into conversation . some people do say good morning, especially in japan though more towards teachers or older people.
Hmmm....Fate. I think I said this before, on the old thread, so I'll give my thoughts again. Fate, to me, isn't so much as shy but easily embarrassed. In A's, Fate never really held back her thoughts or actions. In the manga, she was open and forward (like during the dodge ball game, she was the leader and it showed). However, when someone teased her in anyway, she got embarrassed super fast and tried to defend herself. I think I portrayed that in SbtB well?
true. the shyness she did have was more from being hesitant and unfamiliar with what is expected of her in a more stable/normal life i think.
Okay, them being too open too soon... *thinks* Well, Fate has a crush and therefore naturally likes Nanoha. She perked Fate's interest right away you could say. I do agree that they seem to have gotten close so soon. But so far around two months have passed since they met. I tried in this new chapter to kind of give a reasoning for Nanoha being so clingy to Fate. Hopefully that will help this out. Let me know if it worked when it's posted?
she may want to know more about nanoha (and nanoha would be more than willing to share i think) but Fate may not equally return that favour that soon is what I'm saying. most people would be open to sharing things with a crush but not everyone. and in a friendship, two months really isn't that long at all.
Precia...Hooooboy. Can't deny that one at all XD! She's too perky, too lively, too out spoken, and a lot of other "too" 's as well lol. I'll have to say here that I.... well, I used "author's privileges in an Alternate Universe" to shape her up. How did I get her personality? My aunt hahaha. My aunt is just like Precia in this story. I think Fate really needs a good mother and since I had the chance.... I'm making up for all those bad things I wrote about Fate with this story XD! (actually no, I'm embarrassing 10 years off Fate's life )
awww... your aunt is so cute! but as someone else said, don't change anything at all. it'll disrupt things as it wasn't written that way to begin with. it's fine the way it is.
I can't change the characters now since I'm in so far, but I can start making things a little better. Do you have any suggestions on things they might do instead of what they have been? Like, instead of "up and at'm silly girl" What do you think should have been said? I'll try to adjust a little without exactly changing what they are.
the things they have been doing is fun as I said in my review. no need to change. it's just the few little things. that's all.
"Get up!!"..."Wake up!!" ... "Come on, get up!"
It's plain but.... the exclamation points help? heh
@Kourin: Thanks for all the input :D
I'm writing Diary entries right now during my lunch break. Hopefully I will be able to proof and update my fic before too late tonight.
edit: I win!
edit2: Fate is winning The favorite character poll (http://snappoll.com/poll/245211.php)*shock!*. Also, diary entries are done. there are only three but they're long and offer deeper inputs on what's going on. I may add short ones as I proofread but not sure.
Kirika-chan
2008-01-17, 13:58
Vote for your fave character in SbtB
http://snappoll.com/poll/245211.php
I love Precia but I vote Fate :p (sorry, it's by far, my favorite character XD)
I'm waiting for the next chapter *___* but I read it (only) Tomorrow morning T.T
Aww. Still the only one to vote Arisa...
We don't see enough of her!
Saved by the Bell VII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/7/
Wow, this one was long, pushing 10,000 words. I hope that makes up for the 3 day delay in updating >.< This chapter dedicated to Mercurian Angel ^^
Saved by the Bell VII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/7/
Wow, this one was long, pushing 10,000 words. I hope that makes up for the 3 day delay in updating >.< This chapter dedicated to Mercurian Angel ^^
Almost 10,000 words...? :eek: That's a bunch of awesome. I'm glad to see you're enjoying it enough to write that much for this chapter. :p
Reiji Tabibito
2008-01-17, 21:39
My stories are kind of like a flash in the pan. Big when they hit and then they kinda fade away. Now the summer blockbusters. Oh man, those are the ones people just keep talking about :D
Well, yes and no.
Most people can name the well-loved summer movies...but it's kinda hard to name others...
Example: Most people from summer '07 remember that the last PotC movie came out then, but how many remember the Ghost Rider movie?
I think "Nyan" is the correct kitty sound. but "Nya" is the more commonly used one.
I thought it was a meow too...
It is - but just "Nya" makes for better usage when annoyed:
Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Like That.
[edit]: Yes, I play. I have a level 70 Grand Marshal rogue (also rival, challenger, justicar, gladiator) and my current character is a level 70 restro shaman. World of Warcraft = my life lol
Sorry, should have been more specific: Do you play RO?
Precia...Hooooboy. Can't deny that one at all XD! She's too perky, too lively, too out spoken, and a lot of other "too" 's as well lol. I'll have to say here that I.... well, I used "author's privileges in an Alternate Universe" to shape her up. How did I get her personality? My aunt hahaha. My aunt is just like Precia in this story. I think Fate really needs a good mother and since I had the chance.... I'm making up for all those bad things I wrote about Fate with this story XD! (actually no, I'm embarrassing 10 years off Fate's life )
Do keep in mind what Alicia said during A's:
"She was too kind...and that was why she broke..."
Or something like that...
Saved by the Bell VII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/7/
Wow, this one was long, pushing 10,000 words. I hope that makes up for the 3 day delay in updating >.< This chapter dedicated to Mercurian Angel ^^
Whew, finished reading. The length was great! Now you have me spoiled. :p I personally liked their phone call conversation, and the other random day by day events put in. It makes it flow nicely, and adds more detail to their lives.
Oh man, I couldn't believe Precia walked in on Fate masturbating. How embarrassing is that? I'd be traumatized if my mom did that. :heh: I also found it incredibly cute when you had the teddy bear being bounced off Precia's forehead.
I also love the details you add to things. Nanoha carving little items that reflect on their relationship into the cake was cute. The diary entries were also full of win again. :)
Whew, finished reading. The length was great! Now you have me spoiled. :p I personally liked their phone call conversation, and the other random day by day events put in. It makes it flow nicely, and adds more detail to their lives.
Oh man, I couldn't believe Precia walked in on Fate masturbating. How embarrassing is that? I'd be traumatized if my mom did that. :heh: I also found it incredibly cute when you had the teddy bear being bounced off Precia's forehead.
I also love the details you add to things. Nanoha carving little items that reflect on their relationship into the cake was cute. The diary entries were also full of win again. :)
XD thank you. The phone call was something I was worried about, since it was just filler. I left it in because I liked it. I was just worried if people would get bored reading it or not >.<
The scene was funny enough as it was, but I just had to have a teddybear projectile in it XD! Poor Fate, she just can't win.
XD thank you. The phone call was something I was worried about, since it was just filler. I left it in because I liked it. I was just worried if people would get bored reading it or not >.<
The scene was funny enough as it was, but I just had to have a teddybear projectile in it XD! Poor Fate, she just can't win.
Well, it was enjoyable filler. :p
My favorite part was probably when:
Fate calls her mom to come to Nanoha's interview. At first I was wondering who she was going to call, when it was commented on that she grabbed her cell after leaving Nanoha to her interview. It wasn't until Precia suddenly showed up that it dawned on me >< lol. I was all smiling in an incredibly dorky manner. The characters may only be fictional, but the amount of support Fate shows towards Nanoha is touching. :)
ghazghkull
2008-01-17, 23:38
@ Reiji Tabibito: Satashi plays World of Warcraft! It even says so in the quote LOL
@ Satashi: Wow...that's all I can say...wow...
@Riddly: I'm happy you liked it so much ^_^ I was worried about the chapter as a whole but now I'm really happy myself ^^
@ghazghkull: you liked it that much? @_@ *flattered*
@Reiji Tabibito: I also played RO for a long time. on the official server I had an 87 Monk and a 93 Priestess. Co-founder of "Guardians of POING" guild, we sold our services to protect a castle during WoE for 1 mil Zenny :3
*yawns* well, time to sleep. I'll start on chapter VIII tomorrow. Saturday I plan on updating archives with more people from the OC thread. Going to start sending PMs shortly.
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done, on Fate's Diary entries. XD XD
mercurianangel
2008-01-18, 00:03
Saved by the Bell VII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/7/
Wow, this one was long, pushing 10,000 words. I hope that makes up for the 3 day delay in updating >.< This chapter dedicated to Mercurian Angel ^^
You know this already, but
*squeeeeee*
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 04:13
@ghazghkull: you liked it that much? @_@ *flattered*
Course I liked it. Utterly fluffy it was. Plus, now it's a turning point in Nanoha's and Fate's relationship, in the sense that because Nanoha's going to be busier, now with tennis team, and her new job, they don't get to hang around as much, which leaves Nanoha opened to be approached by a guy who might have a thing for her and make his move, unaware there's someone else who's also vying for her heart.
So yeah, I like it. This gives Fate the more reason to fight for Nanoha's heart ^^ It's adds a really nice flair and flavour to it, wouldn't you agree?
Cheers ^^ Ja ne
Kirika-chan
2008-01-18, 04:46
Saved by the Bell VII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/7/
Wow, this one was long, pushing 10,000 words. I hope that makes up for the 3 day delay in updating >.< This chapter dedicated to Mercurian Angel ^^
Another great chapter ^^ the relationship between Nanoha and Fate become really interesting.
And "The talk" with Precia ... XD! No comment. XD!
ah Satashi, SBtB is made of wonders and win! I shouldn't be getting nose bleeds from a pg13 rated fanfic, this Isn't natural. :confused:
Course I liked it. Utterly fluffy it was. Plus, now it's a turning point in Nanoha's and Fate's relationship, in the sense that because Nanoha's going to be busier, now with tennis team, and her new job, they don't get to hang around as much, which leaves Nanoha opened to be approached by a guy who might have a thing for her and make his move, unaware there's someone else who's also vying for her heart.
So yeah, I like it. This gives Fate the more reason to fight for Nanoha's heart ^^ It's adds a really nice flair and flavour to it, wouldn't you agree?
Cheers ^^ Ja ne
*flails* get out of my head!
Another great chapter ^^ the relationship between Nanoha and Fate become really interesting.
And "The talk" with Precia ... XD! No comment. XD!
XD poor Fate ^^ she can never win can she?
ah Satashi, SBtB is made of wonders and win! I shouldn't be getting nose bleeds from a pg13 rated fanfic, this Isn't natural. :confused:
It's rated "T" for teen! as in.....17? @_@ bad nosebleeds! bad!
[edit]: Wow, Fate is leading fave character with a staggering 18 votes! In second place is Precia with........3? @_@
Sam the Onion
2008-01-18, 10:51
Here to update little bit.
Fic nearing completition. 2 chapters and epilogue till finish. Expecting to be finished at 90k words. But that doesn't include the fact that I want to rewrite the beginning of the story.
This is my first time writing seriously something so after 70k words you can expect anyone to improve at some level, I will just transfer everything learned to the beginning too.
Saved by the Bell VII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/7/
Wow, this one was long, pushing 10,000 words. I hope that makes up for the 3 day delay in updating >.< This chapter dedicated to Mercurian Angel ^^
I must have missed something in basic child education :uhoh: First time hearing about a talk like that :heh: I had no idea what talk this was about before I actually read the fic :(
Well I've been pretty careful :heh:
Your Precia keeps amazing me. She was wonderful in the past but now she's a world renowned beauty salon owner. Does this mean that Testarossa's are rich?
You shoudn't worry about too much fluff. It's very fun to read and plot can always wait those 1k words. Not to mention that no matter how insignificant it may seem, you could always use it in the future.
Best part was unarguably Nanoha in denial. Hope you will continue that for some time.
Here to update little bit.
Fic nearing completition. 2 chapters and epilogue till finish. Expecting to be finished at 90k words. But that doesn't include the fact that I want to rewrite the beginning of the story.
This is my first time writing seriously something so after 70k words you can expect anyone to improve at some level, I will just transfer everything learned to the beginning too.
I must have missed something in basic child education :uhoh: First time hearing about a talk like that :heh: I had no idea what talk this was about before I actually read the fic :(
Well I've been pretty careful :heh:
Your Precia keeps amazing me. She was wonderful in the past but now she's a world renowned beauty salon owner. Does this mean that Testarossa's are rich?
You shoudn't worry about too much fluff. It's very fun to read and plot can always wait those 1k words. Not to mention that no matter how insignificant it may seem, you could always use it in the future.
Best part was unarguably Nanoha in denial. Hope you will continue that for some time.
Definetly the talk is every teen's nightmare :heh: You're lucky you never had to go through it. I was submitted to it when I was 14 >.< Poor Nanoha, though, he talk was "elightening" , which means she learned things lol. The question that she asked her mom was originally in the story but I took it out at the last moment XP
Fate's family is very well off, but the parents wanted their children to have normal lives. Fate and Precia are well known in a certain community. Someone like Nanoha would have no reason to know them, but magazines and advertisement agencies would know that the people they talk about ( movie stars, pop-stars, ect) go to "Testarossa Touch". So to them the Testarossa family is very valuable. Kind of like how people buy name brand stuff just because someone famous does. Advertisement people use Testaross Touch to sell their things. Nanoha being sponsored by them means an outlet to reach into the teenage group and sell to them. That's why the people wanted Nanoha, no matter how inexperianced she was......... I should make this known in the fic as well. I'll have to add that in, in chapter 8.
As for Nanoha. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt :D
As for Fate...... Jealousy isn't very fun. >: D
Ryand-Smith
2008-01-18, 11:31
I'm back, and well...You could have at least bought me batteries too!
I laughed... this type of dialouge is why I like this story. Also, Happy Fate is fun, Great story, and a nic e counter to the Nanoha centric nature of the last few stories
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 11:44
Har. I never got "the talk". *Wins*
Well today is my day to plan out my weekend of writing... Time to found like some white sticker or something or white-out and write 'Arc-en-Ciel' on my journal... I'd like to include 'Ashes unto Dust' but I dunno how to write that in katakana.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-18, 11:55
When my mom tried to give me 'The Talk' i reversed the situation and explained it to her instead...
she took the hint rather quickly :cool:
Edit: I dedicate this page claim to 'The Talk' :D
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 12:00
*flails* get out of my head!
It's just common sense really. After all, I'm not your average reader. I'm a reader, AND, a writer! XD
Har. I never got "the talk". *Wins*
Yay! Same here XD *Wins as well*
I'd like to include 'Ashes unto Dust' but I dunno how to write that in katakana.
'Ashes Unto Dust' eh? Hmm....*refers to the phonetic alphabet*
Ashes = A-shi-su/tsu
Unto = U-n-to
Dust = I'm not sure
Well I'm 100% sure, since I could be wrong, but that's just based on my knowledge of the Japanese phonetic alphabet and all :heh:
I may know the alphabet, but I don't know how to apply it 100% yet.
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 12:09
Maybe I'll run the words in a japanese dictonary thingy...
Well BabelFish translates 'Ashes unto Dust' into: 塵に灰.
...
I see a 'ni' in there.
Ashes: haigara
Dust: chiri, funjin, obutsu, hokori
...
I miss my translator site that told me the meanings attached to those words. I don't remember its name and I have it bookmarked on my home computer (which I can't use) /sigh
When my mom tried to give me 'The Talk' i reversed the situation and explained it to her instead...
she took the hint rather quickly :cool:
Edit: I dedicate this page claim to 'The Talk' :D
"Come on," Fate insisted as she walked down the sidewalk with Nanoha. Their joined hands swayed lightly as they continued along their path towards Fate's family business. "I told you, why can't you tell me?"
"Because." Nanoha counter-insisted. "It's embarrassing..."
"Like mine wasn't?"
Finally Nanoha sighed and looked over at Fate sideways. "Remember I was fourteen."
"Okay."
"And I was innocent."
"Sure."
Nanoha took a breath. "Okay... Mom just finished the talk with me and explained...how..."it" works."
"It?" Fate teased with a smile.
'you know... IT!"
"It as in sex orrrrr?"
Nanoha blushed harder. "You know... a guy's... it."
Fate had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. "Okay, continue."
"So," Nanoha stayed silent a little longer. "I changed my mind, I'm not telling."
"You lied to me!"
"I didn't lie!"
"you lied!" Fate hit Nanoha hard with hte puppy eyes of doom. "you lied!"
"okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'll tell!" Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "I asked if you could get pregnant by swallowing."
Fate finally forgave Hayate at that moment. Bent over and one hand on a lamp post for support, she laughed. Tears fell from her eyes as she struggled just to breathe. "Swa...swallow....HAhahahahaha!"
Nanoha puffed out her cheeks. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"
"Ahahahaha!" Fate slid down the pole and sat down, shaking so hard her legs could no longer hold her up. "Swall.... oh god, it hurts! Hahahaha!"
"I'm leaving you," Nanoha turned and stormed off for a total of ten steps before stopping and looking back at Fate who was trying to collect herself. "Mou..." But somehow she felt her lips turn up slightly.
Fate was really cute when she laughed.
Nanoha's secret revealed
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 13:21
I've started reading Saved by the Bell. :D
Loving it so far. I'll probably just leave one big over all review though :heh:
I've started reading Saved by the Bell. :D
Loving it so far. I'll probably just leave one big over all review though :heh:
Works for me, hope you enjoy it ^_^
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 13:59
"Come on," Fate insisted as she walked down the sidewalk with Nanoha. Their joined hands swayed lightly as they continued along their path towards Fate's family business. "I told you, why can't you tell me?"
"Because." Nanoha counter-insisted. "It's embarrassing..."
"Like mine wasn't?"
Finally Nanoha sighed and looked over at Fate sideways. "Remember I was fourteen."
"Okay."
"And I was innocent."
"Sure."
Nanoha took a breath. "Okay... Mom just finished the talk with me and explained...how..."it" works."
"It?" Fate teased with a smile.
'you know... IT!"
"It as in sex orrrrr?"
Nanoha blushed harder. "You know... a guy's... it."
Fate had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. "Okay, continue."
"So," Nanoha stayed silent a little longer. "I changed my mind, I'm not telling."
"You lied to me!"
"I didn't lie!"
"you lied!" Fate hit Nanoha hard with hte puppy eyes of doom. "you lied!"
"okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'll tell!" Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "I asked if you could get pregnant by swallowing."
Fate finally forgave Hayate at that moment. Bent over and one hand on a lamp post for support, she laughed. Tears fell from her eyes as she struggled just to breathe. "Swa...swallow....HAhahahahaha!"
Nanoha puffed out her cheeks. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"
"Ahahahaha!" Fate slid down the pole and sat down, shaking so hard her legs could no longer hold her up. "Swall.... oh god, it hurts! Hahahaha!"
"I'm leaving you," Nanoha turned and stormed off for a total of ten steps before stopping and looking back at Fate who was trying to collect herself. "Mou..." But somehow she felt her lips turn up slightly.
Fate was really cute when she laughed.
Nanoha's secret revealed
*Drops like a rock unconscious*
Cause: Extreme nasal discharge of blood
*Drops like a rock unconscious*
Cause: Extreme nasal discharge of blood
Add one to the list of death by nosebleed T_T
Maybe I should cut back the funny fanservice bits...\
edit: Question, do any of you writers have someone who normally reviews your stuff, but for some reason they just annoy the heck out of you? I have two people like that now. Don't offer any real advice and just generally make my IQ drop just by reading their stuff *sigh*
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 16:08
Add one to the list of death by nosebleed T_T
Maybe I should cut back the funny fanservice bits...
Nah, I just fainted XD
Besides, it's fun with all the fanservice XD
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 16:24
Oh phew thought I'd have to get the broom out again and start sweeping corpses off the thread. :heh:
@Satashi-sama:
I have those kinds... It irks me when I have a review and it was like some one-lined 'this is good' kind of deal. :eyespin: I had people favorite me but not leave reviews... That is somewhat irking since I like to get feedback :heh: *Comment whore*
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 16:30
Oh phew thought I'd have to get the broom out again and start sweeping corpses off the thread. :heh:
@Satashi-sama:
I have those kinds... It irks me when I have a review and it was like some one-lined 'this is good' kind of deal. :eyespin: I had people favorite me but not leave reviews... That is somewhat irking since I like to get feedback :heh: *Comment whore*
Don't worry, you're not alone in that respect. I've got this one story, that has 195 alerts, 146 favs, 17 C2s, has been viewed 71496 times, and I've only been reviewed 424 times, for 14 chapters, and I'd say 80% of it is just the general "I like it" kind of review, with the remaining 20% being actual constructive reviews.
But then again...my fic is nearly 2 years old, or it will be come March XD
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 16:32
Wow that is a lot :eyespin: My most is only near 800 hits that I did last year :heh: And has like 12 reviews. People don't seem to review me often :uhoh:
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 16:36
Wow that is a lot :eyespin: My most is only near 800 hits that I did last year :heh: And has like 12 reviews. People don't seem to review me often :uhoh:
But then again, Nanoha is still building up it's fanbase here in North America.
The story that has that kind of stats is my hit story in the Evangelion community, Unbreakable Bond, which also happens to be my series of specialty at the moment.
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 16:37
Oh no School of Lyrical is nowhere near that :heh: It is last I checked getting near 500 hits with 6 reviews. The fic I was talking about was Hikikomonogo which is in the Yggdra Union section where is far less popular so I suppose it is something that it has so many hits in such a unknown series :heh:
Reiji Tabibito
2008-01-18, 16:38
@Reiji Tabibito: I also played RO for a long time. on the official server I had an 87 Monk and a 93 Priestess. Co-founder of "Guardians of POING" guild, we sold our services to protect a castle during WoE for 1 mil Zenny :3
Ah... nice. I play myself - whether official or not is up to your imagination :p - I play four characters - an 80something ME Priest; a lvl 50something Lancer Knight; a lvl 50something Wizard; and a lvl20 Gunslinger.
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 16:48
Oh no School of Lyrical is nowhere near that :heh: It is last I checked getting near 500 hits with 6 reviews. The fic I was talking about was Hikikomonogo which is in the Yggdra Union section where is far less popular so I suppose it is something that it has so many hits in such a unknown series :heh:
Basically the number of hits is relative to the popularity of the series, and the number of fictions are there for that particular series. For a Nanoha or series, Satashi is like a god, whereas in say Evangelion, I'm just a skilled and popular writer.
Now statistically speaking, those kinds of value in a really huge series such as Naruto, the numbers wouldn't mean as much, as it would just indicate your an above average writer, but nothing incredibly special. It's when it mounts into the thousands then you know you're starting to become increasingly popular ;) Mind that this is in the larger series such as Naruto, Harry Potter, or Card Captors Sakura.
Question, do any of you writers have someone who normally reviews your stuff, but for some reason they just annoy the heck out of you? I have two people like that now. Don't offer any real advice and just generally make my IQ drop just by reading their stuff *sigh*
I hope I'm not one of those. :uhoh: I generally just post about things I like in your story, without offering advice really. >< Normally the only thing wrong I find is just typos. The only "problem" I can think of, is you seem to want to use "was" when "were" should have been used. Not all the time, but I've noticed it through out some chapters and other stories. Now I feel guilty for my reviews. :heh:
krisslanza
2008-01-18, 17:42
Phew I managed to get my review done before the computers auto shut down :heh:
I had to shorten it a bit. Gomen :uhoh:
You should read my stuff sometime Satashi-sama. xP
I don't mind the so much "I liked it" one liners, those are good too. I mean the people who just rant and rant and rant about..nothing. here's an example. I wrote a story about a girl teaching a guy how to kiss. and this is the review I got
Damn that brought back memories! something like this happen to me. I'm a typical guy and when I was a teenager I was a normal horny but scare and bewildered around girls, until one day when I was helping out a friends mom, who by the way was hot! she always used to flirt with us guys and with me she would hug me and pretend that I was her boyfriend, just to get a blush out of me at which point she would start to laugh and walk away. Well that day I was helping her move some boxes out to the garage and she afterwards offered me a coke, while sitting around she looked at me and just came out with the quesiton: have I ever been with a girl before, my reply was hell I havent even kiss one yet. Well she had me sit next to her on the couch and we went thru something like the what happen in the story before she stood up and reached out to me with her arm, I took it and she lead me into her bedroom (husband out of town) I was 17 she was 39. It only happen a couple of times but beside being very enjoyable she taught me so much: how to please a woman in bed and most important how to seduce a women into bed. she also once took me to local mall and while sitting on bench she would point out the different signs girls were giving their boyfriends and what they meant. I am no don juan but I had a very enjoyable sex life but now I'm in my late 40's and while I still like girls I dont have that all consuming desire to get one into bed, it aint totally gone, but its not that important either. but I still think back to that lady her name was dorothy and what she did for a lonely (and horny) teenage boy.
...WTF!? and it's a signed review so I can't get it taken down.
but anyway, as to Nanoha ones. This one really bothers me. (a review on latest SbtB chapter
Well, well, soldier...
This chapter was b-e-a-utiful.
So Fate-chan's havin' bad thoughts! Bad thoughts of Nanoha in lingerie! XD That part was AW3SOME!
Ah, "The Talk", huh? Poor Fate...oh the embarrassment.
The diary entries were enlightening to say the least. Very nice.
Anyway, Helluva job, soldier! You're doing great.
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
I just hate being talked to like I'm in some military camp (every review is like that). And the first review I got from him I thought "hey a military guy?" So I checked his profile and it seems to be a young teen who likes First person shooters. I messaged him and asked not to be given reviews like that ( my dad is a retired marine. ) because it kinda offended me. Well, he's still going strong. I'm happy he likes my stories, I really am... but man, can he just be a little better on respecting my wishes or offering some advice that doesn't sound like a drill sergeant?
And no, the people here are great. Specially you riddly ^^
I don't mind the so much "I liked it" one liners, those are good too. I mean the people who just rant and rant and rant about..nothing. here's an example. I wrote a story about a girl teaching a guy how to kiss. and this is the review I got
Damn that brought back memories! something like this happen to me. I'm a typical guy and when I was a teenager I was a normal horny but scare and bewildered around girls, until one day when I was helping out a friends mom, who by the way was hot! she always used to flirt with us guys and with me she would hug me and pretend that I was her boyfriend, just to get a blush out of me at which point she would start to laugh and walk away. Well that day I was helping her move some boxes out to the garage and she afterwards offered me a coke, while sitting around she looked at me and just came out with the quesiton: have I ever been with a girl before, my reply was hell I havent even kiss one yet. Well she had me sit next to her on the couch and we went thru something like the what happen in the story before she stood up and reached out to me with her arm, I took it and she lead me into her bedroom (husband out of town) I was 17 she was 39. It only happen a couple of times but beside being very enjoyable she taught me so much: how to please a woman in bed and most important how to seduce a women into bed. she also once took me to local mall and while sitting on bench she would point out the different signs girls were giving their boyfriends and what they meant. I am no don juan but I had a very enjoyable sex life but now I'm in my late 40's and while I still like girls I dont have that all consuming desire to get one into bed, it aint totally gone, but its not that important either. but I still think back to that lady her name was dorothy and what she did for a lonely (and horny) teenage boy.
...WTF!? and it's a signed review so I can't get it taken down.
but anyway, as to Nanoha ones. This one really bothers me. (a review on latest SbtB chapter
Well, well, soldier...
This chapter was b-e-a-utiful.
So Fate-chan's havin' bad thoughts! Bad thoughts of Nanoha in lingerie! XD That part was AW3SOME!
Ah, "The Talk", huh? Poor Fate...oh the embarrassment.
The diary entries were enlightening to say the least. Very nice.
Anyway, Helluva job, soldier! You're doing great.
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
I just hate being talked to like I'm in some military camp (every review is like that). And the first review I got from him I thought "hey a military guy?" So I checked his profile and it seems to be a young teen who likes First person shooters. I messaged him and asked not to be given reviews like that ( my dad is a retired marine. ) because it kinda offended me. Well, he's still going strong. I'm happy he likes my stories, I really am... but man, can he just be a little better on respecting my wishes or offering some advice that doesn't sound like a drill sergeant?
And no, the people here are great. Specially you riddly ^^
Wtf @ the life story review. That was more information than anyone wanted to know, I'm sure. :twitch: And I'm glad my reviews aren't in the failure category. :heh: Not necessarily productive, but I do like to express my support towards your stories. I'll try to throw in some advice from now on. ;)
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 19:05
I don't mind the so much "I liked it" one liners, those are good too. I mean the people who just rant and rant and rant about..nothing. here's an example. I wrote a story about a girl teaching a guy how to kiss. and this is the review I got
Damn that brought back memories! something like this happen to me. I'm a typical guy and when I was a teenager I was a normal horny but scare and bewildered around girls, until one day when I was helping out a friends mom, who by the way was hot! she always used to flirt with us guys and with me she would hug me and pretend that I was her boyfriend, just to get a blush out of me at which point she would start to laugh and walk away. Well that day I was helping her move some boxes out to the garage and she afterwards offered me a coke, while sitting around she looked at me and just came out with the quesiton: have I ever been with a girl before, my reply was hell I havent even kiss one yet. Well she had me sit next to her on the couch and we went thru something like the what happen in the story before she stood up and reached out to me with her arm, I took it and she lead me into her bedroom (husband out of town) I was 17 she was 39. It only happen a couple of times but beside being very enjoyable she taught me so much: how to please a woman in bed and most important how to seduce a women into bed. she also once took me to local mall and while sitting on bench she would point out the different signs girls were giving their boyfriends and what they meant. I am no don juan but I had a very enjoyable sex life but now I'm in my late 40's and while I still like girls I dont have that all consuming desire to get one into bed, it aint totally gone, but its not that important either. but I still think back to that lady her name was dorothy and what she did for a lonely (and horny) teenage boy.
...WTF!? and it's a signed review so I can't get it taken down.
but anyway, as to Nanoha ones. This one really bothers me. (a review on latest SbtB chapter
Well, well, soldier...
This chapter was b-e-a-utiful.
So Fate-chan's havin' bad thoughts! Bad thoughts of Nanoha in lingerie! XD That part was AW3SOME!
Ah, "The Talk", huh? Poor Fate...oh the embarrassment.
The diary entries were enlightening to say the least. Very nice.
Anyway, Helluva job, soldier! You're doing great.
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
I just hate being talked to like I'm in some military camp (every review is like that). And the first review I got from him I thought "hey a military guy?" So I checked his profile and it seems to be a young teen who likes First person shooters. I messaged him and asked not to be given reviews like that ( my dad is a retired marine. ) because it kinda offended me. Well, he's still going strong. I'm happy he likes my stories, I really am... but man, can he just be a little better on respecting my wishes or offering some advice that doesn't sound like a drill sergeant?
And no, the people here are great. Specially you riddly ^^
:twitch::twitch::twitch::twitch::twitch::twitch:
WHAT THE :frustrated:ING HELL WAS THAT :frustrated:?!!! Good lord that guy needs to know when he's crossed the line! Good lord!
As for military camp, I'd be wondering wth if he was talking to me like he's my drill sergeant. I know how you feel somewhat, since I'm a retired Air Cadet, and was Drill Team Commander/Sergeant for a couple years.
In terms of reviews, thats why I now adopt a policy of not saying anything, unless I have something worth saying, or it was an extremely well down chapter. Then I'll start flapping my fingers XD
P.S. WOOT! PAGE CLAIM 2!! xD
Gonna start chapter 8. Preview incoming soon-ish
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-18, 20:11
Gonna start chapter 8. Preview incoming soon-ish
Yeah! and while we're waiting, i think i'll go to sleep now... it's been about 24 hours since i woke up...
...but atleast i have something to look forward to when i wake up :D
ghazghkull
2008-01-18, 20:16
Yeah! and while we're waiting, i think i'll go to sleep now... it's been about 24 hours since i woke up...
...but atleast i have something to look forward to when i wake up :D
:twitch: dude...24 hours?!! I'm not sure even I can stay up that long....
yoshilord
2008-01-18, 21:01
24 hrs. nah that's nothing i once did a triple all nighter
... might explain me being on the line of insanity hmmm
anyway i'm so glad it's finals time for me because that means i can finally progress on my fic. Oc profile and fic summary will be posted when second chapter is done.
@Satashi
anyway i want to say that i love SbtB so far and i apologize for not leaving a review. However i have long adopted not reviewing unless i have constructive criticism and besides typos i'm left dry when i read this. Well at least i'm not one of the annoying reviewers you have.
:twitch: dude...24 hours?!! I'm not sure even I can stay up that long....
I've stayed up about......36 hours before. It sucked. Badly. I don't reccomend it to anyone lol.
Oh, and sorry. I got ninjad to ehal for Gruul's, Mag, AND Karazhan tonight >< Marathon run.*turns on vent, cracks a mountain dew, and cheers* let's do it!
I've stayed up about......36 hours before. It sucked. Badly. I don't reccomend it to anyone lol.
Oh, and sorry. I got ninjad to ehal for Gruul's, Mag, AND Karazhan tonight >< Marathon run.*turns on vent, cracks a mountain dew, and cheers* let's do it!Sounds like you're gonna hit 48 hrs now. Join the club! :D
Now if only I have the time to read that dating sim being run nicely here (got lots of work to do and raids to attend), I'd love to join in... T_T
And apologies to the thread for what has happened, we have our own radicals and moderates, and that was just the rads... ^^;
Sounds like you're gonna hit 48 hrs now. Join the club! :D
Now if only I have the time to read that dating sim being run nicely here (got lots of work to do and raids to attend), I'd love to join in... T_T
And apologies to the thread for what has happened, we have our own radicals and moderates, and that was just the rads... ^^;
ah crap./....I'll update Lyrical days tomorrow
Fan art completed
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/SavedbytheBell-RubiksCubescene.jpg
Fan art completed
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/SavedbytheBell-RubiksCubescene.jpg
Double-post =3, and let me say I really like that pic. It makes SbtB seem more.... what word am I looking for...? Something good, I know that much....
*walks off, thinking.*
EDIT:
*snap*
I got it! It makes it seem more official. Like, MORE than a fanfic. And that makes it all the more enjoyable to read, in my book. =3
Double-post =3, and let me say I really like that pic. It makes SbtB seem more.... what word am I looking for...? Something good, I know that much....
*walks off, thinking.*
EDIT:
*snap*
I got it! It makes it seem more official. Like, MORE than a fanfic. And that makes it all the more enjoyable to read, in my book. =3
Wait till you see Angel's art :D
edit: Here's a long teaser for you, just because
One thing that I always hated was being an annoyance to people. This was especially true to people who were going out of their way to help me. Right now I was struggling to make it up yet another flight of stairs leading up to the office I was supposed to go. Turning up the curve, I opened the door on the twenty third floor and stepped into the hallway to lean against the wall. Panting out, I closed my eyes and steadied my fears. After allowing myself only a minute to rest, I went back inside the stairway area and continued to climb as quickly as I could. The twenty fifth floor. The twenty seventh floor. The thirtieth floor. Finally the thirty-third door was opened and I almost collapsed into the hallway and panted. The wide open space with windows for walls made me feel immediately better. Precia was waiting for me, having taken the elevator, and was giving me a concerned look. With a smile I eased her worries and walked over to her while straightening the dress suit I was wearing. A gray dress skirt and top complete with a tie. Black stockings and fancy feels, all of which I had borrowed from Fate-chan. With my hair in a proper ponytail for once, I looked, amazingly, like an adult. Precia straightened out my tie and adjusted my collar for me before nodding and guiding me down the maze of cubicles and ringing phones.
Saved by the Bell VIII
By: Satashi
“Good morning,” Vash greeted the two woman after a secretary allowed them entrance to his office sectioned off from the rest of the floor. “Hope you made it okay?”
“Just fine,” Precia replied in such a casual way that Nanoha felt a little nervousness lift from her shoulders. “Thank you again for scheduling us in.”
Vash grinned and shook their hands before motioning for them to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. “Oh, believe me, this helps me out just as much. We lost a lot of our models and actors thanks to the contract with Hollywood in the States. The tryouts were a group effort from a few leading corporations but I have never gotten along with them. I prefer to see the big picture and they only see... how you say, the here and now. But that aside,” Vash sat in his chair and picked up a stack of papers. “Nanoha-san, correct? You're here to apply for a job? What specifically do you have in mind?”
Nanoha took a breath and tried to speak clearly through her nervousness. “A model, lingerie specifically but not limited to.”
“Interest on being an actress?”
“If it comes to it, I wouldn't mind.”
Vash nodded and started filling out the paper. “So that's a yes on video as well as photography?”
“Yes sir.” Nanoha felt her heart pounding in her chest. 'Modeling for a commercial!?'
“Okay then,” turning the page, he skimmed down. “Do you agree that by signing a contract with us you are giving your permission willingly to be photographed and or video taped for the purpose of mass release?”
“Yes sir.”
Vash put a sticker on the paper that tabbed out to say 'sign here' and continued to read. “Do you fully understand that your body is the tool for this job and as such, you are signing a contract that takes this tool for use and therefore must be treated properly and with respect? Also agreeing to this means that you may not alter your body without prior permission from your direct superior. Do you agree?”
Nanoha looked over at Precia nervously with a scared look. “He's telling you to take care of yourself, stay in shape, and not to do anything to change your looks without getting permission.”
“Oh!” Nanoha blushed and turned back to Vash. “Yes sir, I agree.”
Vash bit back a smile and tried to stay professional in front of the innocent nervous girl. “Do you have any piercings or markings on your body, or do you plan on getting any?”
“Well, I kind of thought about a tattoo but I'm kind of nervous.”
“Oh what and where?”
Nanoha laughed nervously. “Angel wings, on my back.”
“Oh, that's quite nice.” Vash leaned back in his chair and thought about it. “Angel wings... hmmm... I like that. Cute, innocent, and playful. Do you seriously want them?”
Nanoha flushed. “Um... yes sir, I think it would be cute.”
“Get them.” Taking a business card, he handed it to the girl. “There is a place downtown, Precia knows where it is, give them my card and you can have it done for free.”
“Wha-really?” Nanoha took the card with a shaking hand. “Is that okay?”
“Perfectly,” Vash went back to the contract. “I'll make a note here that you altered your body for the sake of the job. That will look really good on your resume when people go about hiring you. Okay, these next questions may be a little embarrassing. Just answer as if you are over eighteen. Do you give consent to be photographed or video taped partially nude in clothing, i.e. Lingerie and or swimsuits?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for partial nudity without clothing, i.e. images without clothes but not exposing the nipple, crotch, or buttocks?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for full nudity of the chest area, including exposure of nipples in revealing or sheer material clothing and or topless?”
“...Can I turn an offer down?”
“This is only for the jobs offers. If you do not like the product or ad then you can turn down anything you wish. Right now this just allows us to filter out the offers you get. If you say no here, you won't be hired for these shots. If you say yes, then they will ask and you can turn down.”
Nanoha nodded. “I give consent.” He cheeks colored darkly when Precia looked over at her with a mix of amazement and a little pride for her bravery.
“Last one. Do you give consent for full nudity of crotch area including-”
“Um,” Nanoha felt her face getting warmer. “Just no on that one.”
Vash nodded. “Consider it done then.” After signing his name a few times on the paper he handed it over to Nanoha. “Just sign your name where the tabs imply, be sure not to sign anywhere besides where I marked, and your contract will be started. One year contract with me directly, after that you will be given an offer to renew or you may go to another cooperation. You will be required to take no less than two jobs a month for the first two months and then you will be required to take three. Any more than that is completely up to you.”
The girl looked at Precia, who nodded at her. “Okay.” Her name was written down several times before handing it back. “Here you are.”
“Congratulations.” Vash stood and shook her hand again. “You are now officially employed for our agency.” He grinned at her amazed look and took Precia's hand as well. “You will be emailed weekly about jobs offers or you may come to the office any time to check here. Precia, as her temporary manager, you have full control of her jobs.”
“Thank you,” The two girls bowed out of habit before saying their goodbyes one more time and leaving the office. “Congratulations, Nanoha.” Precia couldn't help but smile as the girl shakingly walked down the hallway and gave the papers to the secretary, who welcomed her to the business. “So,” She continued after the small conversation. “As your manager, I have your first job lined up for you.”
“What? Already?” Nanoha looked as if she was going to faint already.
Precia nodded and crossed her arms happily. “I would like you to pose for my first advertisement in a teenage magazine."
Wait till you see Angel's art :D
edit: Here's a long teaser for you, just because
One thing that I always hated was being an annoyance to people. This was especially true to people who were going out of their way to help me. Right now I was struggling to make it up yet another flight of stairs leading up to the office I was supposed to go. Turning up the curve, I opened the door on the twenty third floor and stepped into the hallway to lean against the wall. Panting out, I closed my eyes and steadied my fears. After allowing myself only a minute to rest, I went back inside the stairway area and continued to climb as quickly as I could. The twenty fifth floor. The twenty seventh floor. The thirtieth floor. Finally the thirty-third door was opened and I almost collapsed into the hallway and panted. The wide open space with windows for walls made me feel immediately better. Precia was waiting for me, having taken the elevator, and was giving me a concerned look. With a smile I eased her worries and walked over to her while straightening the dress suit I was wearing. A gray dress skirt and top complete with a tie. Black stockings and fancy feels, all of which I had borrowed from Fate-chan. With my hair in a proper ponytail for once, I looked, amazingly, like an adult. Precia straightened out my tie and adjusted my collar for me before nodding and guiding me down the maze of cubicles and ringing phones.
Saved by the Bell VIII
By: Satashi
“Good morning,” Vash greeted the two woman after a secretary allowed them entrance to his office sectioned off from the rest of the floor. “Hope you made it okay?”
“Just fine,” Precia replied in such a casual way that Nanoha felt a little nervousness lift from her shoulders. “Thank you again for scheduling us in.”
Vash grinned and shook their hands before motioning for them to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. “Oh, believe me, this helps me out just as much. We lost a lot of our models and actors thanks to the contract with Hollywood in the States. The tryouts were a group effort from a few leading corporations but I have never gotten along with them. I prefer to see the big picture and they only see... how you say, the here and now. But that aside,” Vash sat in his chair and picked up a stack of papers. “Nanoha-san, correct? You're here to apply for a job? What specifically do you have in mind?”
Nanoha took a breath and tried to speak clearly through her nervousness. “A model, lingerie specifically but not limited to.”
“Interest on being an actress?”
“If it comes to it, I wouldn't mind.”
Vash nodded and started filling out the paper. “So that's a yes on video as well as photography?”
“Yes sir.” Nanoha felt her heart pounding in her chest. 'Modeling for a commercial!?'
“Okay then,” turning the page, he skimmed down. “Do you agree that by signing a contract with us you are giving your permission willingly to be photographed and or video taped for the purpose of mass release?”
“Yes sir.”
Vash put a sticker on the paper that tabbed out to say 'sign here' and continued to read. “Do you fully understand that your body is the tool for this job and as such, you are signing a contract that takes this tool for use and therefore must be treated properly and with respect? Also agreeing to this means that you may not alter your body without prior permission from your direct superior. Do you agree?”
Nanoha looked over at Precia nervously with a scared look. “He's telling you to take care of yourself, stay in shape, and not to do anything to change your looks without getting permission.”
“Oh!” Nanoha blushed and turned back to Vash. “Yes sir, I agree.”
Vash bit back a smile and tried to stay professional in front of the innocent nervous girl. “Do you have any piercings or markings on your body, or do you plan on getting any?”
“Well, I kind of thought about a tattoo but I'm kind of nervous.”
“Oh what and where?”
Nanoha laughed nervously. “Angel wings, on my back.”
“Oh, that's quite nice.” Vash leaned back in his chair and thought about it. “Angel wings... hmmm... I like that. Cute, innocent, and playful. Do you seriously want them?”
Nanoha flushed. “Um... yes sir, I think it would be cute.”
“Get them.” Taking a business card, he handed it to the girl. “There is a place downtown, Precia knows where it is, give them my card and you can have it done for free.”
“Wha-really?” Nanoha took the card with a shaking hand. “Is that okay?”
“Perfectly,” Vash went back to the contract. “I'll make a note here that you altered your body for the sake of the job. That will look really good on your resume when people go about hiring you. Okay, these next questions may be a little embarrassing. Just answer as if you are over eighteen. Do you give consent to be photographed or video taped partially nude in clothing, i.e. Lingerie and or swimsuits?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for partial nudity without clothing, i.e. images without clothes but not exposing the nipple, crotch, or buttocks?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for full nudity of the chest area, including exposure of nipples in revealing or sheer material clothing and or topless?”
“...Can I turn an offer down?”
“This is only for the jobs offers. If you do not like the product or ad then you can turn down anything you wish. Right now this just allows us to filter out the offers you get. If you say no here, you won't be hired for these shots. If you say yes, then they will ask and you can turn down.”
Nanoha nodded. “I give consent.” He cheeks colored darkly when Precia looked over at her with a mix of amazement and a little pride for her bravery.
“Last one. Do you give consent for full nudity of crotch area including-”
“Um,” Nanoha felt her face getting warmer. “Just no on that one.”
Vash nodded. “Consider it done then.” After signing his name a few times on the paper he handed it over to Nanoha. “Just sign your name where the tabs imply, be sure not to sign anywhere besides where I marked, and your contract will be started. One year contract with me directly, after that you will be given an offer to renew or you may go to another cooperation. You will be required to take no less than two jobs a month for the first two months and then you will be required to take three. Any more than that is completely up to you.”
The girl looked at Precia, who nodded at her. “Okay.” Her name was written down several times before handing it back. “Here you are.”
“Congratulations.” Vash stood and shook her hand again. “You are now officially employed for our agency.” He grinned at her amazed look and took Precia's hand as well. “You will be emailed weekly about jobs offers or you may come to the office any time to check here. Precia, as her temporary manager, you have full control of her jobs.”
“Thank you,” The two girls bowed out of habit before saying their goodbyes one more time and leaving the office. “Congratulations, Nanoha.” Precia couldn't help but smile as the girl shakingly walked down the hallway and gave the papers to the secretary, who welcomed her to the business. “So,” She continued after the small conversation. “As your manager, I have your first job lined up for you.”
“What? Already?” Nanoha looked as if she was going to faint already.
Precia nodded and crossed her arms happily. “I would like you to pose for my first advertisement in a teenage magazine."
I do this "Ear-to-Ear" grin WAY to often when reading SbtB...
..
...
....
Can't wait!
ghazghkull
2008-01-19, 17:19
Wait till you see Angel's art :D
edit: Here's a long teaser for you, just because
One thing that I always hated was being an annoyance to people. This was especially true to people who were going out of their way to help me. Right now I was struggling to make it up yet another flight of stairs leading up to the office I was supposed to go. Turning up the curve, I opened the door on the twenty third floor and stepped into the hallway to lean against the wall. Panting out, I closed my eyes and steadied my fears. After allowing myself only a minute to rest, I went back inside the stairway area and continued to climb as quickly as I could. The twenty fifth floor. The twenty seventh floor. The thirtieth floor. Finally the thirty-third door was opened and I almost collapsed into the hallway and panted. The wide open space with windows for walls made me feel immediately better. Precia was waiting for me, having taken the elevator, and was giving me a concerned look. With a smile I eased her worries and walked over to her while straightening the dress suit I was wearing. A gray dress skirt and top complete with a tie. Black stockings and fancy feels, all of which I had borrowed from Fate-chan. With my hair in a proper ponytail for once, I looked, amazingly, like an adult. Precia straightened out my tie and adjusted my collar for me before nodding and guiding me down the maze of cubicles and ringing phones.
Saved by the Bell VIII
By: Satashi
“Good morning,” Vash greeted the two woman after a secretary allowed them entrance to his office sectioned off from the rest of the floor. “Hope you made it okay?”
“Just fine,” Precia replied in such a casual way that Nanoha felt a little nervousness lift from her shoulders. “Thank you again for scheduling us in.”
Vash grinned and shook their hands before motioning for them to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. “Oh, believe me, this helps me out just as much. We lost a lot of our models and actors thanks to the contract with Hollywood in the States. The tryouts were a group effort from a few leading corporations but I have never gotten along with them. I prefer to see the big picture and they only see... how you say, the here and now. But that aside,” Vash sat in his chair and picked up a stack of papers. “Nanoha-san, correct? You're here to apply for a job? What specifically do you have in mind?”
Nanoha took a breath and tried to speak clearly through her nervousness. “A model, lingerie specifically but not limited to.”
“Interest on being an actress?”
“If it comes to it, I wouldn't mind.”
Vash nodded and started filling out the paper. “So that's a yes on video as well as photography?”
“Yes sir.” Nanoha felt her heart pounding in her chest. 'Modeling for a commercial!?'
“Okay then,” turning the page, he skimmed down. “Do you agree that by signing a contract with us you are giving your permission willingly to be photographed and or video taped for the purpose of mass release?”
“Yes sir.”
Vash put a sticker on the paper that tabbed out to say 'sign here' and continued to read. “Do you fully understand that your body is the tool for this job and as such, you are signing a contract that takes this tool for use and therefore must be treated properly and with respect? Also agreeing to this means that you may not alter your body without prior permission from your direct superior. Do you agree?”
Nanoha looked over at Precia nervously with a scared look. “He's telling you to take care of yourself, stay in shape, and not to do anything to change your looks without getting permission.”
“Oh!” Nanoha blushed and turned back to Vash. “Yes sir, I agree.”
Vash bit back a smile and tried to stay professional in front of the innocent nervous girl. “Do you have any piercings or markings on your body, or do you plan on getting any?”
“Well, I kind of thought about a tattoo but I'm kind of nervous.”
“Oh what and where?”
Nanoha laughed nervously. “Angel wings, on my back.”
“Oh, that's quite nice.” Vash leaned back in his chair and thought about it. “Angel wings... hmmm... I like that. Cute, innocent, and playful. Do you seriously want them?”
Nanoha flushed. “Um... yes sir, I think it would be cute.”
“Get them.” Taking a business card, he handed it to the girl. “There is a place downtown, Precia knows where it is, give them my card and you can have it done for free.”
“Wha-really?” Nanoha took the card with a shaking hand. “Is that okay?”
“Perfectly,” Vash went back to the contract. “I'll make a note here that you altered your body for the sake of the job. That will look really good on your resume when people go about hiring you. Okay, these next questions may be a little embarrassing. Just answer as if you are over eighteen. Do you give consent to be photographed or video taped partially nude in clothing, i.e. Lingerie and or swimsuits?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for partial nudity without clothing, i.e. images without clothes but not exposing the nipple, crotch, or buttocks?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for full nudity of the chest area, including exposure of nipples in revealing or sheer material clothing and or topless?”
“...Can I turn an offer down?”
“This is only for the jobs offers. If you do not like the product or ad then you can turn down anything you wish. Right now this just allows us to filter out the offers you get. If you say no here, you won't be hired for these shots. If you say yes, then they will ask and you can turn down.”
Nanoha nodded. “I give consent.” He cheeks colored darkly when Precia looked over at her with a mix of amazement and a little pride for her bravery.
“Last one. Do you give consent for full nudity of crotch area including-”
“Um,” Nanoha felt her face getting warmer. “Just no on that one.”
Vash nodded. “Consider it done then.” After signing his name a few times on the paper he handed it over to Nanoha. “Just sign your name where the tabs imply, be sure not to sign anywhere besides where I marked, and your contract will be started. One year contract with me directly, after that you will be given an offer to renew or you may go to another cooperation. You will be required to take no less than two jobs a month for the first two months and then you will be required to take three. Any more than that is completely up to you.”
The girl looked at Precia, who nodded at her. “Okay.” Her name was written down several times before handing it back. “Here you are.”
“Congratulations.” Vash stood and shook her hand again. “You are now officially employed for our agency.” He grinned at her amazed look and took Precia's hand as well. “You will be emailed weekly about jobs offers or you may come to the office any time to check here. Precia, as her temporary manager, you have full control of her jobs.”
“Thank you,” The two girls bowed out of habit before saying their goodbyes one more time and leaving the office. “Congratulations, Nanoha.” Precia couldn't help but smile as the girl shakingly walked down the hallway and gave the papers to the secretary, who welcomed her to the business. “So,” She continued after the small conversation. “As your manager, I have your first job lined up for you.”
“What? Already?” Nanoha looked as if she was going to faint already.
Precia nodded and crossed her arms happily. “I would like you to pose for my first advertisement in a teenage magazine."
*Faints from excitement*
...........
*Wakes up a few minutes later*
Oh crap my paint pots were left opened! At least I cleaned my brushes before I looked at this...
Either way, good update, can't wait to see the whole chapter.
P.S. Oh and before I forget, I do like how you portrayed Nanoha in this particular scene. Not only you managed to capture the purity of her character (albeit somewhat unbelievable for someone in the military during StrikerS due to her lack of a kill record), you also showed us that she's actually HUMAN!!! That's the one thing that always bothered me during StrikerS. She didn't seem like a person, rather just some mass of really powerful energy in human form.
Anyways, keep up the good work. You've really portrayed Nanoha really well ^^
Wait till you see Angel's art :D
edit: Here's a long teaser for you, just because
One thing that I always hated was being an annoyance to people. This was especially true to people who were going out of their way to help me. Right now I was struggling to make it up yet another flight of stairs leading up to the office I was supposed to go. Turning up the curve, I opened the door on the twenty third floor and stepped into the hallway to lean against the wall. Panting out, I closed my eyes and steadied my fears. After allowing myself only a minute to rest, I went back inside the stairway area and continued to climb as quickly as I could. The twenty fifth floor. The twenty seventh floor. The thirtieth floor. Finally the thirty-third door was opened and I almost collapsed into the hallway and panted. The wide open space with windows for walls made me feel immediately better. Precia was waiting for me, having taken the elevator, and was giving me a concerned look. With a smile I eased her worries and walked over to her while straightening the dress suit I was wearing. A gray dress skirt and top complete with a tie. Black stockings and fancy feels, all of which I had borrowed from Fate-chan. With my hair in a proper ponytail for once, I looked, amazingly, like an adult. Precia straightened out my tie and adjusted my collar for me before nodding and guiding me down the maze of cubicles and ringing phones.
Saved by the Bell VIII
By: Satashi
“Good morning,” Vash greeted the two woman after a secretary allowed them entrance to his office sectioned off from the rest of the floor. “Hope you made it okay?”
“Just fine,” Precia replied in such a casual way that Nanoha felt a little nervousness lift from her shoulders. “Thank you again for scheduling us in.”
Vash grinned and shook their hands before motioning for them to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. “Oh, believe me, this helps me out just as much. We lost a lot of our models and actors thanks to the contract with Hollywood in the States. The tryouts were a group effort from a few leading corporations but I have never gotten along with them. I prefer to see the big picture and they only see... how you say, the here and now. But that aside,” Vash sat in his chair and picked up a stack of papers. “Nanoha-san, correct? You're here to apply for a job? What specifically do you have in mind?”
Nanoha took a breath and tried to speak clearly through her nervousness. “A model, lingerie specifically but not limited to.”
“Interest on being an actress?”
“If it comes to it, I wouldn't mind.”
Vash nodded and started filling out the paper. “So that's a yes on video as well as photography?”
“Yes sir.” Nanoha felt her heart pounding in her chest. 'Modeling for a commercial!?'
“Okay then,” turning the page, he skimmed down. “Do you agree that by signing a contract with us you are giving your permission willingly to be photographed and or video taped for the purpose of mass release?”
“Yes sir.”
Vash put a sticker on the paper that tabbed out to say 'sign here' and continued to read. “Do you fully understand that your body is the tool for this job and as such, you are signing a contract that takes this tool for use and therefore must be treated properly and with respect? Also agreeing to this means that you may not alter your body without prior permission from your direct superior. Do you agree?”
Nanoha looked over at Precia nervously with a scared look. “He's telling you to take care of yourself, stay in shape, and not to do anything to change your looks without getting permission.”
“Oh!” Nanoha blushed and turned back to Vash. “Yes sir, I agree.”
Vash bit back a smile and tried to stay professional in front of the innocent nervous girl. “Do you have any piercings or markings on your body, or do you plan on getting any?”
“Well, I kind of thought about a tattoo but I'm kind of nervous.”
“Oh what and where?”
Nanoha laughed nervously. “Angel wings, on my back.”
“Oh, that's quite nice.” Vash leaned back in his chair and thought about it. “Angel wings... hmmm... I like that. Cute, innocent, and playful. Do you seriously want them?”
Nanoha flushed. “Um... yes sir, I think it would be cute.”
“Get them.” Taking a business card, he handed it to the girl. “There is a place downtown, Precia knows where it is, give them my card and you can have it done for free.”
“Wha-really?” Nanoha took the card with a shaking hand. “Is that okay?”
“Perfectly,” Vash went back to the contract. “I'll make a note here that you altered your body for the sake of the job. That will look really good on your resume when people go about hiring you. Okay, these next questions may be a little embarrassing. Just answer as if you are over eighteen. Do you give consent to be photographed or video taped partially nude in clothing, i.e. Lingerie and or swimsuits?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for partial nudity without clothing, i.e. images without clothes but not exposing the nipple, crotch, or buttocks?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you give consent for full nudity of the chest area, including exposure of nipples in revealing or sheer material clothing and or topless?”
“...Can I turn an offer down?”
“This is only for the jobs offers. If you do not like the product or ad then you can turn down anything you wish. Right now this just allows us to filter out the offers you get. If you say no here, you won't be hired for these shots. If you say yes, then they will ask and you can turn down.”
Nanoha nodded. “I give consent.” He cheeks colored darkly when Precia looked over at her with a mix of amazement and a little pride for her bravery.
“Last one. Do you give consent for full nudity of crotch area including-”
“Um,” Nanoha felt her face getting warmer. “Just no on that one.”
Vash nodded. “Consider it done then.” After signing his name a few times on the paper he handed it over to Nanoha. “Just sign your name where the tabs imply, be sure not to sign anywhere besides where I marked, and your contract will be started. One year contract with me directly, after that you will be given an offer to renew or you may go to another cooperation. You will be required to take no less than two jobs a month for the first two months and then you will be required to take three. Any more than that is completely up to you.”
The girl looked at Precia, who nodded at her. “Okay.” Her name was written down several times before handing it back. “Here you are.”
“Congratulations.” Vash stood and shook her hand again. “You are now officially employed for our agency.” He grinned at her amazed look and took Precia's hand as well. “You will be emailed weekly about jobs offers or you may come to the office any time to check here. Precia, as her temporary manager, you have full control of her jobs.”
“Thank you,” The two girls bowed out of habit before saying their goodbyes one more time and leaving the office. “Congratulations, Nanoha.” Precia couldn't help but smile as the girl shakingly walked down the hallway and gave the papers to the secretary, who welcomed her to the business. “So,” She continued after the small conversation. “As your manager, I have your first job lined up for you.”
“What? Already?” Nanoha looked as if she was going to faint already.
Precia nodded and crossed her arms happily. “I would like you to pose for my first advertisement in a teenage magazine."
The character interactions were nice. :) (Nanoha climbing all those flights of stairs due to her fear was cute.) Precia is such a great mother figure in your story. It makes me somewhat sad to look back on the actual series, and see what a broken mess she is.
I do this "Ear-to-Ear" grin WAY to often when reading SbtB...
..
...
....
Can't wait!
Get ready to smile more, this chapter is made of Fluff and Waff.
P.S. Oh and before I forget, I do like how you portrayed Nanoha in this particular scene. Not only you managed to capture the purity of her character (albeit somewhat unbelievable for someone in the military during StrikerS due to her lack of a kill record), you also showed us that she's actually HUMAN!!! That's the one thing that always bothered me during StrikerS. She didn't seem like a person, rather just some mass of really powerful energy in human form.
Anyways, keep up the good work. You've really portrayed Nanoha really well ^^
Thanks, I was a little worried that all the AU going on, she may have lost touch with her original self. I've built up enough that I can start having her do things in this universe and not be "OOC" but I'm glad that Nanoha is still Nanoha.
It's a bad fear I have of making the girls seem TOO out of it.
Also, expect more school in upcoming chapters as well. as this is, after all, Saved by the bell lol
The character interactions were nice. :) (Nanoha climbing all those flights of stairs due to her fear was cute.) Precia is such a great mother figure in your story. It makes me somewhat sad to look back on the actual series, and see what a broken mess she is.
I really like Precia, and it appears as if others do as well. I wonder if this will start a Precia movement like the Hayate/Yuuno thing so long ago :heh: oh man, people are going to stone me if I keep feeding you guys crack.
And Nanoha's fear is cute but I feel bad for her >.< She's obviously really bad if she would climb so many flights of stairs to avoid a 30 second elevator trip.
Get ready to smile more, this chapter is made of Fluff and Waff.
Expectations Set, Taichou! Awaiting Product!
Expectations Set, Taichou! Awaiting Product!
Have an ultraaaaa spoiiiiiilllllleeeeeerrrrrr
Fate blushed.
you can thank me later.
krisslanza
2008-01-19, 23:33
This revelation is as shocking as taco eating! :heh:
I'll look forward to it. :nod: Now if I could only actually get some ideas of how to do my chapter 3 this weekend would be a lot... Better :uhoh:
Have an ultraaaaa spoiiiiiilllllleeeeeerrrrrr
Fate blushed.
you can thank me later.
Oh dear god! SERIOUSLY?!
CALL THE PARAMEDICS!:rolleyes:
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-20, 01:15
Wait till you see Angel's art :D
edit: Here's a long teaser for you, just because
*snip*
There do be grins about... and right after i woke up too! :D
and i agree with the comments above, nanoha seems more human in this fic than in the actual serie, and precia is definitely better off than in the canon... and by far more likeable as she is. :)
Can't wait to see more! :D
SBtB has been the highlight of my day recently... That is all I have to say. :)
Special thanks to everyone for 100 review mark on Saved by the Bell.
*bows* Thank you all.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-20, 15:26
Special thanks to everyone for 100 review mark on Saved by the Bell.
*bows* Thank you all.
it's been 13 hours and people are still just sitting staring at your post... or something. :p
Anyway, gz for the reviews, i think i'll add mine when you finish the story.
ghazghkull
2008-01-20, 15:29
It's a Sunday. What do you expect? People are off doing their own thing, or sleeping in. Besides like any forum, each threat has its ups and downs of activity, so don't get discouraged that no one's been saying anything at all.
Either by tonight or tomorrow, this thread will once again be buzzing with activity.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-20, 15:34
It's a Sunday. What do you expect? People are off doing their own thing, or sleeping in. Besides like any forum, each threat has its ups and downs of activity, so don't get discouraged that no one's been saying anything at all.
Either by tonight or tomorrow, this thread will once again be buzzing with activity.
Still, poking the thread a bit to see if anyone turns up is always a viable option if one's bored during the night :p
ghazghkull
2008-01-20, 16:08
Still, poking the thread a bit to see if anyone turns up is always a viable option if one's bored during the night :p
That's why when you're bored, you take up a hobby to fill in that boredom.
Like me and my painting when I'm bored XD
This is off topic yes, but who cares since there's no other topic being discussed right now :p XD
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-20, 16:21
That's why when you're bored, you take up a hobby to fill in that boredom.
Like me and my painting when I'm bored XD
This is off topic yes, but who cares since there's no other topic being discussed right now :p XD
23:18 isn't generally the time of the day when i'm indulging in my hobbies, except reading, and i'm generally against starting a book when i'm supposed to get up before 9 tomorrow... because after i pick up the book, it isn't going back down for quite a while... :p
And yes, offtopic, but i hope the mods don't mind a bit of friendly offtopicness... :heh:
ghazghkull
2008-01-20, 16:27
23:18 isn't generally the time of the day when i'm indulging in my hobbies, except reading, and i'm generally against starting a book when i'm supposed to get up before 9 tomorrow... because after i pick up the book, it isn't going back down for quite a while... :p
And yes, offtopic, but i hope the mods don't mind a bit of friendly offtopicness... :heh:
Well better than the discussion that was held on the other thread
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-20, 16:32
Well better than the discussion that was held on the other thread
Well yes, that debate wasn't exactly friendly to start with, and it only devolved from there...
Then the mods decided to befriend the entire friggin thread to solve the matter...
...and now we're all friends, i think :heh:
And there is definite improvement with this new thread, what with the archive in the first page and OC's coming along a bit stronger than in the previous thread :)
Klashikari
2008-01-20, 16:44
And yes, offtopic, but i hope the mods don't mind a bit of friendly offtopicness... :heh:
To be honest, we should actually mind offtopicness, whatever it is friendly or whatnot. That said, we cannot change habits like a finger snap, and as long it doesn't disrupt that much a topic, it is all good (so long the said post has a purpose somewhat related to the said thread).
That said, it is a good thing you actually realize that it is a offtopic, and it should cease as soon as you read that message. Leave respective discussions on their threads if possible, otherwise, it would be required to do some clean up...
See what you guys did? Went and got a moderator to come in here D:
XD XD XD XD
I'll save you Mary Jane!
Nanoha rubbed Fate's shoulders as she sat in front of the computer screen. "Fate-chaaaaan, I'm going to pose naked and was wondering if you wanted to take pictures of me in compromising positions and keep the doubles?"
"That's nice," Fate replied absently as she clicked her mouse and hit a few buttons on her keyboard.
"Fate-chaaaaan, I'm stripping naked!"
"That's nice," Her mouth twitched lightly as a rogue stunned her from behind.
"Fate-chaaaaaaan, I found a toy in your dresser, do you mind if I use it while looking at you?"
"That's nice," Fate iceblocked from the rogue and turned the pest into a sheep so she could start channeling another spell.
"Fate-chaaaaaan, I'm hot and ready!"
"That's nice." Growling, Fate leaned back in her chair as a shaman she thought dead self-ressed and hit her with a two K lightning crit and killed her. "Damnit... Oh well, what was you saying Nan.....ha?" Looking over ehr shoulder, the girl grabbed her nose. "Why are you naked!?"
Nanoha sighed. "I really hate that game..."
ghazghkull
2008-01-20, 17:09
See what you guys did? Went and got a moderator to come in here D:
XD XD XD XD
I'll save you Mary Jane!
Nanoha rubbed Fate's shoulders as she sat in front of the computer screen. "Fate-chaaaaan, I'm going to pose naked and was wondering if you wanted to take pictures of me in compromising positions and keep the doubles?"
"That's nice," Fate replied absently as she clicked her mouse and hit a few buttons on her keyboard.
"Fate-chaaaaan, I'm stripping naked!"
"That's nice," Her mouth twitched lightly as a rogue stunned her from behind.
"Fate-chaaaaaaan, I found a toy in your dresser, do you mind if I use it while looking at you?"
"That's nice," Fate iceblocked from the rogue and turned the pest into a sheep so she could start channeling another spell.
"Fate-chaaaaaan, I'm hot and ready!"
"That's nice." Growling, Fate leaned back in her chair as a shaman she thought dead self-ressed and hit her with a two K lightning crit and killed her. "Damnit... Oh well, what was you saying Nan.....ha?" Looking over ehr shoulder, the girl grabbed her nose. "Why are you naked!?"
Nanoha sighed. "I really hate that game..."
*Keels over laughing* OMG LOL!!! THAT'S CUTE AS HELL!! XD
Sam the Onion
2008-01-20, 17:10
See what you guys did? Went and got a moderator to come in here D:
XD XD XD XD
Even that we managed to lure a mod here, I don't think we should do it too often :uhoh::heh:
I'll save you Mary Jane!
Nanoha rubbed Fate's shoulders as she sat in front of the computer screen. "Fate-chaaaaan, I'm going to pose naked and was wondering if you wanted to take pictures of me in compromising positions and keep the doubles?"
"That's nice," Fate replied absently as she clicked her mouse and hit a few buttons on her keyboard.
"Fate-chaaaaan, I'm stripping naked!"
"That's nice," Her mouth twitched lightly as a rogue stunned her from behind.
"Fate-chaaaaaaan, I found a toy in your dresser, do you mind if I use it while looking at you?"
"That's nice," Fate iceblocked from the rogue and turned the pest into a sheep so she could start channeling another spell.
"Fate-chaaaaaan, I'm hot and ready!"
"That's nice." Growling, Fate leaned back in her chair as a shaman she thought dead self-ressed and hit her with a two K lightning crit and killed her. "Damnit... Oh well, what was you saying Nan.....ha?" Looking over ehr shoulder, the girl grabbed her nose. "Why are you naked!?"
Nanoha sighed. "I really hate that game..."
I'm really wishing this doesn't end up in the fic itself and is just some random crack. Too direct for Nanoha, who should still be in denial.
Amusing nevertheless :D
How long is the timeline there?
Did Fate just own rogue and shaman straight in a row or did these two incidents happen seperately?
@satashi
thx for so much reading fun with save by the bell & the division books
:)
even though my eyes are now worse :D
*too much reading at night with few light*
*first post, hope you guys can read it:heh:*
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-20, 17:12
See what you guys did? Went and got a moderator to come in here D:
Mods are scary @_@.
XD XD XD XD
I'll save you Mary Jane!
Who's Mary Jane again? :confused: (:heh::D)
Nanoha rubbed Fate's shoulders as she sat in front of the computer screen. "Fate-chaaaaan, I'm going to pose naked and was wondering if you wanted to take pictures of me in compromising positions and keep the doubles?"
"That's nice," Fate replied absently as she clicked her mouse and hit a few buttons on her keyboard.
"Fate-chaaaaan, I'm stripping naked!"
"That's nice," Her mouth twitched lightly as a rogue stunned her from behind.
"Fate-chaaaaaaan, I found a toy in your dresser, do you mind if I use it while looking at you?"
"That's nice," Fate iceblocked from the rogue and turned the pest into a sheep so she could start channeling another spell.
"Fate-chaaaaaan, I'm hot and ready!"
"That's nice." Growling, Fate leaned back in her chair as a shaman she thought dead self-ressed and hit her with a two K lightning crit and killed her. "Damnit... Oh well, what was you saying Nan.....ha?" Looking over ehr shoulder, the girl grabbed her nose. "Why are you naked!?"
Nanoha sighed. "I really hate that game..."
.....
:heh: I remember reading, long long ago, a snipplet that resembled this one but with Yuuno and Nanoha didn't strip, she was just très horny :heh::heh::heh:
Is WoW really so entertaining so as to make you forget everything around you? :heh:
Sam the Onion
2008-01-20, 17:16
:heh: I remember reading, long long ago, a snipplet that resembled this one but with Yuuno and Nanoha didn't strip, she was just très horny :heh::heh::heh:
Recycling good material is approved :p
Is WoW really so entertaining so as to make you forget everything around you? :heh:
I never got that succumbed to it, but then again I can talk to phone while playing red 10step in stepmania :p
But I do know people who get so into it that you could poke them and they woudn't notice you. I guess it's just how much you actually pay attention to it.
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-20, 17:19
Even that we managed to lure a mod here, I don't think we should do it too often :uhoh::heh:
Skyfall would be the exception :p The fics he makes are awesome :D! More like we should try to lure him in :D:D:D
Recycling good material is approved :p
I agree :p
I never got that succumbed to it, but then again I can talk to phone while playing red 10step in stepmania :p
But I do know people who get so into it that you could poke them and they woudn't notice you. I guess it's just how much you actually pay attention to it.
That's scary in a way :heh::heh::heh:
:heh: I remember reading, long long ago, a snipplet that resembled this one but with Yuuno and Nanoha didn't strip, she was just très horny :heh::heh::heh:
I believe that one went something like this:
Yuuno was sitting behind his PC, they'd taken care of all the trash, all the other bosses had been downed before, and now it was time for their first go at Illidan. The frantic clicking sounded through the room as Yuuno struggled to keep the raid alive.
click click
click click
click click
click click
click click
Between the sound of clicking, he could hear Nanoha's voice as she stood behind him.
"Yuuno-kun, I know you enjoy that game and all, but I just want you to know that I'm wearing side-tie panties, and I'm going home in an hour."
click click
click click
....
The clicking stopped for a moment as the words sunk into Yuuno's head, before-
click click
click click
click click
click click
click click
click click
"Yuuno-kun!"
Yuuno had his atention focussed back on the screen as he pulled of a last-second save on the main tank.
I should probably feel more conflicted about this then I do.
Ah, the glorydays of Machall. :D
Sam the Onion
2008-01-20, 17:23
Skyfall would be the exception :p The fics he makes are awesome :D!
Very true but I don't think we have had that pleasure in a long time. Maybe we should try luring them more often :heh: Of course in a way they approve... Bribe with cookies?
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-20, 17:27
Very true but I don't think we have had that pleasure in a long time. Maybe we should try luring them more often :heh: Of course in a way they approve... Bribe with cookies?
Unfortunately that's true >.<
Maybe we should start scheming something? :D
*Starts plotting* :D (:heh:)
The cookies are a good idea =D
So, anyone mind filling me about what's been happening? My computer broke down a few days ago and I haven't been able to get internet 'till today >.<
ghazghkull
2008-01-20, 17:29
Unfortunately that's true >.<
Maybe we should start scheming something? :D
*Starts plotting* :D (:heh:)
The cookies are a good idea =D
So, anyone mind filling me about what's been happening? My computer broke down a few days ago and I haven't been able to get internet 'till today >.<
Not much really. Just a new update or two on SbtB, depending when your comp broke down.
P.S. PAGE CLAIM!
@all
Where can I find Nanoha Manga?
:)
@satashi
and your Lyrical Days?
sry slight offtopic ;)
WoW can consume people if you're not careful. I've, on more than one occassion, have been as spaced out as Fate was and agreed to a few things that I didn't remember >.<
And yes, that's random crack. Nanoha is way too OOC for SbtB there. Poor Fate isn't though XD XD
Anyway, SKYFALL:
Nanoha knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to open. When it finally did she smiled at the man and held up a box. "Here, Skyfall, freshly made double decker chocolate chip cookies! The people, and myself, at teh fanfiction thread miss you and your stories!"
@Gillian: Glad to see you posting ^^ Hope you'll enjoy your stay here and make many friends ^_^. I think you can get teh manga on another thread here. As for lyrical days, It'll come eventually (I hope) I'm stuck in SbtB and WANT it done tonight.
edit: Teaser?
“Joke went too far,” She informed as she left Yuuno's side and instead took Fate's hand to guide her farther away from the group to talk. “I'm keeping it a secret until this Sunday.” She whispered softly. “At the sleep over, after you win your race.” Nanoha winked up at her. “Yes, I feel fine now. Sorry about yesterday, that was really embarrassing.”
“Don't mention it.” Fate felt her cheeks turn when Nanoha's newly found habit of rubbing her thumb over the blonde's palm picked up again.
“You like that?” Nanoha moved a little closer to her. “Does it feel good?”
“D-don't ask me things like that.” Fate turned away just a moment before glancing back. “You're flirting.”
“Am not,” Nanoha insisted with a cute smile. She knew she was, Fate knew she was, but neither protested the fact that she wouldn't admit it aloud. “Fate-chan?”
“Mm?”
“This Sunday, win your race for sure okay? I'll be watching.”
Fate met Nanoha's eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. “Mm.” Wanting to change the topic to save her farther embarrassment, she continued. “How long are you going to hide that from your parents.”
“The rest of my life.” Nanoha stuck out her tongue
thx for the fast answers :)
hope I find the manga's, when not I'll ask BPHaru :D
and thx for the nice greetings :)
PS: I missed my first page claim *crying*
edit: yeah teaser *happy*
The official Nanoha manga (assuming that's what you're looking for) can be found in the manga thread. I'll see if I can coble together a combined zip.
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-20, 17:44
:heh::heh::heh: Sata-chan really started a new trend of page-claiming, huh?
Ahh... okay, I see. Thanks ghazghkull :D (Nothing new with OCs or other stories or anything else?)
And yes, that's random crack. Nanoha is way too OOC for SbtB there. Poor Fate isn't though XD XD
Anyway, SKYFALL:
Nanoha knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to open. When it finally did she smiled at the man and held up a box. "Here, Skyfall, freshly made double decker chocolate chip cookies! The people, and myself, at teh fanfiction thread miss you and your stories!"
I agree to that :D:D
edit: Teaser?
“Joke went too far,” She informed as she left Yuuno's side and instead took Fate's hand to guide her farther away from the group to talk. “I'm keeping it a secret until this Sunday.” She whispered softly. “At the sleep over, after you win your race.” Nanoha winked up at her. “Yes, I feel fine now. Sorry about yesterday, that was really embarrassing.”
“Don't mention it.” Fate felt her cheeks turn when Nanoha's newly found habit of rubbing her thumb over the blonde's palm picked up again.
“You like that?” Nanoha moved a little closer to her. “Does it feel good?”
“D-don't ask me things like that.” Fate turned away just a moment before glancing back. “You're flirting.”
“Am not,” Nanoha insisted with a cute smile. She knew she was, Fate knew she was, but neither protested the fact that she wouldn't admit it aloud. “Fate-chan?”
“Mm?”
“This Sunday, win your race for sure okay? I'll be watching.”
Fate met Nanoha's eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. “Mm.” Wanting to change the topic to save her farther embarrassment, she continued. “How long are you going to hide that from your parents.”
“The rest of my life.” Nanoha stuck out her tongue
....Yeah, teaser :heh::heh::heh:
As always, making us want more. You're definitely evil Slaanesh :p:D:p
The official Nanoha manga (assuming that's what you're looking for) can be found in the manga thread. I'll see if I can coble together a combined zip.
:love:
that would be really nice :)
If you get a complete set, Keroko, hook me up too, I haven't read it :D
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-20, 17:50
Careful with the off-topicness boys (and girl? boy? we don't know Sata-chan's gender so it's a problem >.<) We don't want to see a mass of deleted posts, do we?
I have what has been translated so far, which is chapters 1 through 10. Total chapters of the StrikerS manga is 12, I believe. I also have the A's manga, but with the licencing of Nanoha A's, I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to post that one anymore, even though the manga most likely will never make it...
Anyway, I'll go over to the Manga thread to post this and stop cluttering this thread. :3
See what you guys did? Went and got a moderator to come in here D:
XD XD XD XD
I'll save you Mary Jane!
Nanoha rubbed Fate's shoulders as she sat in front of the computer screen. "Fate-chaaaaan, I'm going to pose naked and was wondering if you wanted to take pictures of me in compromising positions and keep the doubles?"
"That's nice," Fate replied absently as she clicked her mouse and hit a few buttons on her keyboard.
"Fate-chaaaaan, I'm stripping naked!"
"That's nice," Her mouth twitched lightly as a rogue stunned her from behind.
"Fate-chaaaaaaan, I found a toy in your dresser, do you mind if I use it while looking at you?"
"That's nice," Fate iceblocked from the rogue and turned the pest into a sheep so she could start channeling another spell.
"Fate-chaaaaaan, I'm hot and ready!"
"That's nice." Growling, Fate leaned back in her chair as a shaman she thought dead self-ressed and hit her with a two K lightning crit and killed her. "Damnit... Oh well, what was you saying Nan.....ha?" Looking over ehr shoulder, the girl grabbed her nose. "Why are you naked!?"
Nanoha sighed. "I really hate that game..."
WoW can consume people if you're not careful. I've, on more than one occassion, have been as spaced out as Fate was and agreed to a few things that I didn't remember >.<
And yes, that's random crack. Nanoha is way too OOC for SbtB there. Poor Fate isn't though XD XD
Lmao... >< I can relate to Fate in this. I played FFXI for several years, and once you get sucked into doing something, your attention to everything else around you goes poof. :heh:
Anyway, SKYFALL:
Nanoha knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to open. When it finally did she smiled at the man and held up a box. "Here, Skyfall, freshly made double decker chocolate chip cookies! The people, and myself, at teh fanfiction thread miss you and your stories!"
That was cute. :)
edit: Teaser?
“Joke went too far,” She informed as she left Yuuno's side and instead took Fate's hand to guide her farther away from the group to talk. “I'm keeping it a secret until this Sunday.” She whispered softly. “At the sleep over, after you win your race.” Nanoha winked up at her. “Yes, I feel fine now. Sorry about yesterday, that was really embarrassing.”
“Don't mention it.” Fate felt her cheeks turn when Nanoha's newly found habit of rubbing her thumb over the blonde's palm picked up again.
“You like that?” Nanoha moved a little closer to her. “Does it feel good?”
“D-don't ask me things like that.” Fate turned away just a moment before glancing back. “You're flirting.”
“Am not,” Nanoha insisted with a cute smile. She knew she was, Fate knew she was, but neither protested the fact that she wouldn't admit it aloud. “Fate-chan?”
“Mm?”
“This Sunday, win your race for sure okay? I'll be watching.”
Fate met Nanoha's eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. “Mm.” Wanting to change the topic to save her farther embarrassment, she continued. “How long are you going to hide that from your parents.”
“The rest of my life.” Nanoha stuck out her tongue
Very successful teaser. I want to know what happened. :p
Careful with the off-topicness boys (and girl? boy? we don't know Sata-chan's gender so it's a problem >.<) We don't want to see a mass of deleted posts, do we?
then sata-chan should write a NxF-FF, in which both girls investigate it^^
*FF part to avoid offtopic ;) pls fogive me:upset:*
Aaron008R
2008-01-20, 17:58
So, anyone mind filling me about what's been happening? My computer broke down a few days ago and I haven't been able to get internet 'till today >.<
There you are, Fuyu!:D:D:D
I've got GenerationS chapter 1, out.:D
Parts 1 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1340772&postcount=130) and 2 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1340776&postcount=131).
Hopefully, it would be passable.:heh:
WoW can consume people if you're not careful. I've, on more than one occassion, have been as spaced out as Fate was and agreed to a few things that I didn't remember >.<
Now I'm even more glad that I never play online games.:D
Anyway, SKYFALL:
Nanoha knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to open. When it finally did she smiled at the man and held up a box. "Here, Skyfall, freshly made double decker chocolate chip cookies! The people, and myself, at teh fanfiction thread miss you and your stories!"
I guess that is one way to get him to come...:heh: But Skyfall's more of a 'My Pace' kind of person.:heh::heh::heh:
edit: Teaser?
“Joke went too far,” She informed as she left Yuuno's side and instead took Fate's hand to guide her farther away from the group to talk. “I'm keeping it a secret until this Sunday.” She whispered softly. “At the sleep over, after you win your race.” Nanoha winked up at her. “Yes, I feel fine now. Sorry about yesterday, that was really embarrassing.”
“Don't mention it.” Fate felt her cheeks turn when Nanoha's newly found habit of rubbing her thumb over the blonde's palm picked up again.
“You like that?” Nanoha moved a little closer to her. “Does it feel good?”
“D-don't ask me things like that.” Fate turned away just a moment before glancing back. “You're flirting.”
“Am not,” Nanoha insisted with a cute smile. She knew she was, Fate knew she was, but neither protested the fact that she wouldn't admit it aloud. “Fate-chan?”
“Mm?”
“This Sunday, win your race for sure okay? I'll be watching.”
Fate met Nanoha's eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. “Mm.” Wanting to change the topic to save her farther embarrassment, she continued. “How long are you going to hide that from your parents.”
“The rest of my life.” Nanoha stuck out her tongue
Racing?:twitch: Guess I better update myself on your recent stories.:D
Careful with the off-topicness boys (and girl? boy? we don't know Sata-chan's gender so it's a problem >.<) We don't want to see a mass of deleted posts, do we?
Just when it was getting lively...:( (:p)
update:
Saved by the Bell
Length: 4.2k words
ETA: tonight, hopefully
progress: um.....50%-ish? >.<!!!!
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-20, 18:08
There you are, Fuyu!:D:D:D
I've got GenerationS chapter 1, out.:D
Parts 1 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1340772&postcount=130) and 2 (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1340776&postcount=131).
Hopefully, it would be passable.:heh:
I was hoping I'd be able to see this :D:D:D
I'm sure it's far more than passable :p:D:D:D:D
Just expect my comments on it......"later" :heh: I'm in the middle of re-writing an already three week late French exam :heh::heh::heh::heh:
Now I'm even more glad that I never play online games.:D
You should be :p
I guess that is one way to get him to come...:heh: But Skyfall's more of a 'My Pace' kind of person.:heh::heh::heh:
So true...*sigh* What a shame...
Just when it was getting lively...:( (:p)
No? Shame....*sigh* (:p;))
hopefully mikeybikey also update soon
:)
Anyway, SKYFALL:
Nanoha knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to open. When it finally did she smiled at the man and held up a box. "Here, Skyfall, freshly made double decker chocolate chip cookies! The people, and myself, at teh fanfiction thread miss you and your stories!"
:heh:
Thanks for the friendly nudge. And deliver my thanks to Nanoha - the cookies were delicious :)
I guess that is one way to get him to come...:heh: But Skyfall's more of a 'My Pace' kind of person.:heh::heh::heh:
Guess it worked :) ... Hey, does that mean i was lured by food !? *flails*
You are right about the pace ... and i know that pace is shamefully slow. But thats how it goes for me - unless i am in the right mood, i can't really concentrate on writing and the end results tend to be less than satisfactory by my own standards. (And i have been feeling rock bottom in a while as far as inspiration is concerned). I am working on something right now, but when that will be finished ...who knows :heh: My most optimistic guess would be next sunday.
Thank you for remembering me - i am truly happy about it :)
So true...*sigh* What a shame...
No need to rub it in >.>
hopefully mikeybikey also update soon
:)
who is that?
edit:
SbtB chapter
Nanoha's arc: complete
Fate's arc: Started
Sleep over arc: nothing
Words: 4.8k.
Tempted to just leave sleepover for next chapter
krisslanza
2008-01-20, 20:27
Unfortunately that's true >.<
Maybe we should start scheming something? :D
*Starts plotting* :D (:heh:)
The cookies are a good idea =D
So, anyone mind filling me about what's been happening? My computer broke down a few days ago and I haven't been able to get internet 'till today >.<
Hmmm depending on when that breakdown happened... I did post a teaser to my Arc-en-Ciel 'series' Ashes unto Dust. It is on the first page of the thread in my lil' profile. :heh:
I don't think you read School of Lyrical and even so I think chapter 2 would've been out by then...
SbtB chapter 8
6.4k words, without diary entries or card.
pending spell check.
sleepover postponed till next chapter.
SbtB chapter 8
6.4k words, without diary entries or card.
pending spell check.
sleepover postponed till next chapter.
I was gonna say, 4K words.... 50%?!
Holy carp.
Anyway. Looking forward to it.
YEAH! PAGE-CLAIM! =3
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-20, 22:57
Good morning thread...
To be honest, we should actually mind offtopicness, whatever it is friendly or whatnot. That said, we cannot change habits like a finger snap, and as long it doesn't disrupt that much a topic, it is all good (so long the said post has a purpose somewhat related to the said thread).
That said, it is a good thing you actually realize that it is a offtopic, and it should cease as soon as you read that message. Leave respective discussions on their threads if possible, otherwise, it would be required to do some clean up...
I'll be a good boy... er... man, i promise!
See what you guys did? Went and got a moderator to come in here D:
XD XD XD XD
I'll save you Mary Jane!
*snip*
Well yes, last time i posted something offtopic, i went to sleep and after i woke up, i noticed that the thread had gotten befriended, so i'll try not to do that again... :heh:
I've never succeeded in getting that level of concentration with games... but books? you could just about put my pants on fire and i'd notice it after the flames start licking the pages...
SbtB chapter 8
6.4k words, without diary entries or card.
pending spell check.
sleepover postponed till next chapter.
\o/
Saved by the Bell VIII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/8/
Enjoy <3
ghazghkull
2008-01-20, 23:13
yay! It's up!! *reads*
Now or Never II
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4012124/2/Now_or_never
Saved by the Bell VIII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/8/
Enjoy <3
Hurrah!
*enjoys*
Now or Never II
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4012124/2/Now_or_never
Signum and Shamal are a cute couple
Saved by the Bell VIII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/8/
Enjoy <3
Fate really has horrible timing about locking that bedroom door... ;)
I noticed you changed the small section about Nanoha rubbing Fate's palm with her thumb. I personally liked the switch. :) The little tidbit about Nanoha flirting with her seemed slightly out of place since she appears to be in denial still. =p And this was another lovely chapter. Fate moving on was done well, and I enjoyed that it was Nanoha who did it for her. I love details relating to emotion, and the comment that Fate's gaze no longer held sadness, but that joy was present = <3.
Hmm....
Don't have anything to update (Beauty and the Red-Haired Beast) is on hiatus as the PC is having problem with MS Office (currently waiting for its installation CD), so I have to wait until everything is alright to continue my fanfics. >___<
So in other words, there will be no 2008 Fanfic entry from me. :heh: *bows*
Hmm....
Don't have anything to update (Beauty and the Red-Haired Beast) is on hiatus as the PC is having problem with MS Office (currently waiting for its installation CD), so I have to wait until everything is alright to continue my fanfics. >___<
So in other words, there will be no 2008 Fanfic entry from me. :heh: *bows*
Use open Office, it's much better, has great auto saves for back-up reasons, and is really pleasant on the eyes :3
It's just not 2008 with USB T_T
Fate really has horrible timing about locking that bedroom door... ;)
I noticed you changed the small section about Nanoha rubbing Fate's palm with her thumb. I personally liked the switch. :) The little tidbit about Nanoha flirting with her seemed slightly out of place since she appears to be in denial still. =p And this was another lovely chapter. Fate moving on was done well, and I enjoyed that it was Nanoha who did it for her. I love details relating to emotion, and the comment that Fate's gaze no longer held sadness, but that joy was present = <3.
She should just give up :D
Yeah, you'd be shocked to see a chapter before and after revisions. stuff like that little part floods the entire chapter. On any given chapter I probably change/alter at least 500-1,000 words to fix mistakes and the like. Nanoha flirting was fun at the moment but looking back with revisions in mind... It's just not needed :3
and I'm glad you liked Fate at teh end ^^ I got all emotional writing it hehe
Pictures!
mercurianangel, you're the best :3
Nanoha modeling
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/angeling.jpg
Testarossa Touch's ad, Right page
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/ttad.jpg
Use open Office, it's much better, has great auto saves for back-up reasons, and is really pleasant on the eyes :3
It's just not 2008 with USB T_T
Yeah, I know. :nod:
It sucks not to be able to celebrate 2008 at this thread without a story, right? T__T Oh, well, here's some teasers:
Inexplicably he roared. Master Mondial flipped the dining table with all his might, so overwhelming that he practically tossed the table through the roof out of the building. Cinque backed off, as so did Imotou and Irui who proceeded to hide behind the eye-patched girl.
"I am not AN EMO!!!" he declared and covered his face with Guy Fawkes mask. "I am Master Mondial! Guardian of this mansion!!!! I am the fighter of Guy Fawkes' revolutionary ideas for peace and freedom!!!"
Lutecia hit him with a well-aimed Piko-Piko Hammer she threw from faraway. "Emo kid is EMO. Go and sleep under your mom's elbow."
So yeah, expect more madness. :heh:
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-21, 01:01
Yeah, I know. :nod:
It sucks not to be able to celebrate 2008 at this thread without a story, right? T__T Oh, well, here's some teasers:
Inexplicably he roared. Master Mondial flipped the dining table with all his might, so overwhelming that he practically tossed the table through the roof out of the building. Cinque backed off, as so did Imotou and Irui who proceeded to hide behind the eye-patched girl.
"I am not AN EMO!!!" he declared and covered his face with Guy Fawkes mask. "I am Master Mondial! Guardian of this mansion!!!! I am the fighter of Guy Fawkes' revolutionary ideas for peace and freedom!!!"
Lutecia hit him with a well-aimed Piko-Piko Hammer she threw from faraway. "Emo kid is EMO."
So yeah, expect more madness. :heh:
my mind just went 8.8 on the richter scale... :twitch:
Pictures!
mercurianangel, you're the best :3
Nanoha modeling
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/angeling.jpg
Testarossa Touch's ad, Right page
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/LeviValor/ttad.jpg
Lovely pictures. mercurianangel was kind enough to make a fanart of a NxF fanfic I did last year. I really should get my own stories listed on here, but who knows when I'll get around to updating again. >< :heh:
Anyway! I found that Keith guy to be kind of shady. :uhoh: In a creeper sort of way. :p I wonder if he'll play a larger part later? *ponders*
Lovely pictures. mercurianangel was kind enough to make a fanart of a NxF fanfic I did last year. I really should get my own stories listed on here, but who knows when I'll get around to updating again. >< :heh:
Anyway! I found that Keith guy to be kind of shady. :uhoh: In a creeper sort of way. :p I wonder if he'll play a larger part later? *ponders*
I read that fic actually. Because of the art :D I recall that I liked it. Link me your FF.N profile and I'll add you to our list.
Keith :uhoh: He's a Bandit. That dang bandit keith....in America.
+1 cookie if you got that referance.
ghazghkull
2008-01-21, 01:22
I read that fic actually. Because of the art :D I recall that I liked it. Link me your FF.N profile and I'll add you to our list.
Keith :uhoh: He's a Bandit. That dang bandit keith....in America.
+1 cookie if you got that referance.
:twitch: omg...not him...I hated Bandit Keith from Yu-Gi-Oh! LOL XD
Now I forgot why I wanted to make a post...oh well it'll come to me.
P.S. Oh yeah now I remember! Satashi, you really need to watch it on your grammar. I've just realized that you have very notorious habit of misusing pronouns (is that the word) like "is" and "are", "was" and were" being the two biggest ones.
Examples:
is/are
Where is she?
Where are you?
was/were
What in the world were you thinking?!
What in the world was she thinking?!
You catch my drift? This is why I prefer Word. It catches such grammatical errors.
I read that fic actually. Because of the art :D I recall that I liked it. Link me your FF.N profile and I'll add you to our list.
Keith :uhoh: He's a Bandit. That dang bandit keith....in America.
+1 cookie if you got that referance.
I didn't get the reference. :( But! I do remember you liked one of my stories. :D Which so happened to inspire you for one of your chapters in SNL. /shameless plug :heh:
I haven't updated in months though. I have to be in the mood to write, and haven't had that feeling for a while now. ><
I always pictured the wings to me more the swirls that spread into little rounded feathers.
Ala This:
http://cache.spreadshirt.com/users/136000/135620/motives/135620_696021_medium.gif
(I'm so saving that image.)
But those are rather nice too!
who is that?
edit:
SbtB chapter
Nanoha's arc: complete
Fate's arc: Started
Sleep over arc: nothing
Words: 4.8k.
Tempted to just leave sleepover for next chapter
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1450966/Mikeybikey
I like his Christmas fic and the begin of the new fic
*bad cliffhanger at the end :(*
I'm also looking forward to his GGW fic :D
mercurianangel
2008-01-21, 03:27
Pictures!
mercurianangel, you're the best :3
I feel loved ^__^
Lovely pictures.
Thankies much ^_^
I always pictured the wings to me more the swirls that spread into little rounded feathers.
Ala This:
http://cache.spreadshirt.com/users/136000/135620/motives/135620_696021_medium.gif
Aw...Those ARE really cute...
I really wish I had seen those before >_______<
Kirika-chan
2008-01-21, 04:39
Saved by the Bell VIII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/8/
Enjoy <3
Good chapter (always :p)
I really enjoy it for fews stage ^^
Like the tatoo (it was so cute *___*) and the race (Alicia is really kind, even dead XD).
And the stage when Nanoha want to see Fate in her room that she locked ... XD!!!
I really want to see the next T.T (in Suzuka's house)
wonderful chapter, satashi-san
i enjoyed it to read it
especially the part with fate-chans locked door :D
:D
hope the sleepover comes soon :)
edit: page claim 1
*big party*
@mercurianangel
your pics are very impressive and make SbtB more lively
editx:
@satashi-san
'“Would you like to eat with Fate and I?” The woman winked.' I think, there should be a me instead of I. ;)
Estavali
2008-01-21, 07:55
The Hammer of Divine Inspiration gave me a tap:
This must be a very bad dream.
Streams of raindrops fell uninterrupted, covering the world in a thick, watery darkness. Yet they fell so gently, so softly, that all other noise seemed to have drowned within their silent chorus. A streak of lightning flashed across the sky but the thunder that followed was oddly silent.
It was as if the world itself was in mourning.
This must be a dream, he told himself again. Why, there was no way that the siren, screaming red and blue, could yet sound distant, so muffled. There was no way that the hustle of people around him, shouting orders and relaying them, could be so very silent. There was no way the hard gravelled ground was so red, so drenched by blood.
There was no way her eyes could have this terrible lifeless look in them.
Ever since they were kids, her eyes had always spoke of an unwavering optimism. Pain, fear, sadness, defeat, doubts... they would plague her, like any other person, but never, never had they managed to cloud her eyes for long. Like a bright everlasting beacon, they had always shone with hope, with strength, with courage, mowing down the obstacles before her, leading her, and those around her, to a brighter dawn.
Yet...
That light... was no more.
All that remained... was this cold dead darkness. Those very eyes, that would sometimes teased him, sometimes locked him an embarassed yet happy embrace, always watching him with a deep warm love, now stared unseeingly at him.
This is not true, he thought.
Yet truth it was.
No, this can't be real.
Reality was written boldly in the bloodied, crushed and wildly torn apart corpse.
Please.... Please wake me from this nightmare.
Tears dripped onto the severed head in his tight embrace. For a moment a wild hope sprung in him, a crazed prayer that his tears would bring her back to life, the way it was written in the fairy tales that they would tell their young daughter.
But this was not a fairy tale. Nor was it a dream.
This was reality.
She's dead. Dead beyond the hope of resurrection.
She's dead... No...no...
His last defences brutally dashed to nothingness, Yuuno Scraya finally succumbed to his grief, and his tears freed themselves from his restraint. Cradling the silent head of his wife, he broke.
"Nanoha..."
:twitch: omg...not him...I hated Bandit Keith from Yu-Gi-Oh! LOL XD
Now I forgot why I wanted to make a post...oh well it'll come to me.
P.S. Oh yeah now I remember! Satashi, you really need to watch it on your grammar. I've just realized that you have very notorious habit of misusing pronouns (is that the word) like "is" and "are", "was" and were" being the two biggest ones.
Examples:
is/are
Where is she?
Where are you?
was/were
What in the world were you thinking?!
What in the world was she thinking?!
You catch my drift? This is why I prefer Word. It catches such grammatical errors.
I hate all that >.< I try but I blame my english grammar teacher ><
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1450966/Mikeybikey
I like his Christmas fic and the begin of the new fic
*bad cliffhanger at the end :(*
I'm also looking forward to his GGW fic :D
I don't like that writer, he bashes Yuuno.
I feel loved ^__^
Thankies much ^_^
Aw...Those ARE really cute...
I really wish I had seen those before >_______<
<3loves on her<3
I love your wings the most :3
Good chapter (always :p)
I really enjoy it for fews stage ^^
Like the tatoo (it was so cute *___*) and the race (Alicia is really kind, even dead XD).
And the stage when Nanoha want to see Fate in her room that she locked ... XD!!!
I really want to see the next T.T (in Suzuka's house)
XDD I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D
I don't like that writer, he bashes Yuuno.
hm, I don't mind that
but he has nice FxN storys :)
the same is for me with Arigatou Sheitarou
:D
I don't like that writer, he bashes Yuuno.
LOL
So you read their fic?
That was so far the most awesome Yuuno I have ever seen in a fic!!!!11!! I ROFL’d with the fic, the general characterization of the characters was priceless! ... But probably you are regretting reading it (if you did it).
Keith :uhoh: He's a Bandit. That dang bandit keith....in America.
I got the reference... in America!
(Random scenes from Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series, you can watch the whole thing searching for it in youtube)
K7tHteHXTr0
Saludos, Haru
LOL
So you read their fic?
That was so far the most awesome Yuuno I have ever seen in a fic!!!!11!! I ROFL’d with the fic, the general characterization of the characters was priceless! ... But probably you are regretting reading it (if you did it).
I got the reference... in America!
(Random scenes from Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series, you can watch the whole thing searching for it in youtube)
K7tHteHXTr0
Saludos, Haru
I didn't read it. thankfully from how you're talking about it @_@
I'm not much into comedy in general, specially when people write bash fics. They're too childish for me. Every series has a character people just don't like but there's not reason to just bash/insult them constantly. It'd be like me making a Yuunoha and just insulting Fate, then killing her at the end and Nanoha not caring becuase she has Yuuno. It's just pointless and stupid in my eyes.
^ Above rant was about fanfiction, not about the author of the one mentioned. I have not read it so I can not review it nor the author. So my statement was a general statement not aimed at anyone ^
edit: +Cookie for Haru's knowledge of abridged series... in america
krisslanza
2008-01-21, 11:08
Screw the money I have rules! ... Wait a minute.
*cough*
I'll read SbtB on Tuesday ^_^ And hope I get SoL done... I've only got a few pages and barely started it... /groan
I didn't read it. thankfully from how you're talking about it @_@
I'm not much into comedy in general, specially when people write bash fics. They're too childish for me. Every series has a character people just don't like but there's not reason to just bash/insult them constantly. It'd be like me making a Yuunoha and just insulting Fate, then killing her at the end and Nanoha not caring becuase she has Yuuno. It's just pointless and stupid in my eyes.
^ Above rant was about fanfiction, not about the author of the one mentioned. I have not read it so I can not review it nor the author. So my statement was a general statement not aimed at anyone ^
edit: +Cookie for Haru's knowledge of abridged series... in america
I think that statement can't be applied to specifically to that fic. You know, probably his Yuuno is more in character than your usual Yuuno, and the fic isn't a comedy, but a Romance/Drama with some hawt parts and other priceless parts that deserves a giant LOL (even if I felt a bit of vicarious embarrassment for the poor guy :heh:).
Saludos, Haru
yeah,
the first fic was bad for yuuno and really funny :D
his second started really good(without yuuno bashing ;D), but the damn cliffhanger at the end is terrible :(
hopefully he writes chapter 2(or 1, maybe the first chapter is the prologue, I don't know) soon :)
but I'm looking forward to GGW :D
*hope Haru too^^*
edit:
which person likes Satashi-san best from Nanoha?*sry for bad english :(*
edit2:
YU-GI-Oh :D
I think that statement can't be applied to specifically to that fic. You know, probably his Yuuno is more in character than your usual Yuuno, and the fic isn't a comedy, but a Romance/Drama with some hawt parts and other priceless parts that deserves a giant LOL (even if I felt a bit of vicarious embarrassment for the poor guy :heh:).
Saludos, Haru
I don't think Adult!Yuuno has a character to stay in character to, so I just take liberties on him. I'm bad about being a little OOC, but since 6th D and SbtB are AUs, I worry a little less about it.
Speaking of SbtB, here's a fun poll. (blame Haru for my crack polls)
Fate's bedroom door is....
http://snappoll.com/poll/246148.php
Fate's bedroom door is....
http://snappoll.com/poll/246148.php
locked and that every time
:D
yeah,
the first fic was bad for yuuno and really funny :D
his second started really good(without yuuno bashing ;D), but the damn cliffhanger at the end is terrible :(
hopefully he writes chapter 2(or 1, maybe the first chapter is the prologue, I don't know) soon :)
but I'm looking forward to GGW :D
*hope Haru too^^*
Of course I do, their fics are a WIN :D
edit:
which person likes Satashi-san best from Nanoha?*sry for bad english :(*
Are you serious? she don't even need to respond that question :heh:
Speaking of SbtB, here's a fun poll. (blame Haru for my crack polls)
Fate's bedroom door is....
http://snappoll.com/poll/246148.php
I would like to know the context before voting, otherwise the poll would be a meaningless and random expression of your readers for an uncertain incoming scenario.
Saludos, in America
jupp I'm serious
;)
I barley remember something about Nanoha, but the FF's has a lot of Fate POV
*inspect Satashi's avatar*
hmm, I think Fate-chan :>
jupp I'm serious
I barley remember about Nanoha, but the FF's has a lot of Fate POV
*inspect Satashi's avatar*
hmm, I think Fate-chan :>
Fate is by far my favorite ^_^ Vivio is second, Nanoha bringing up third.
I would like to know the context before voting, otherwise the poll would be a meaningless and random expression of your readers for an uncertain incoming scenario.
Saludos, in America
It's related to SbtB chapter 7 and 8 ^_~ And it won't influence story at all, it's just random crack for giggles.
Screw the Saludos, I have money
thx for the answer :)
PS: I need the money^^
Reiji Tabibito
2008-01-21, 13:28
Saved by the Bell VIII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/8/
Enjoy <3
Righto! Off to read!
Inexplicably he roared. Master Mondial flipped the dining table with all his might, so overwhelming that he practically tossed the table through the roof out of the building. Cinque backed off, as so did Imotou and Irui who proceeded to hide behind the eye-patched girl.
"I am not AN EMO!!!" he declared and covered his face with Guy Fawkes mask. "I am Master Mondial! Guardian of this mansion!!!! I am the fighter of Guy Fawkes' revolutionary ideas for peace and freedom!!!"
Lutecia hit him with a well-aimed Piko-Piko Hammer she threw from faraway. "Emo kid is EMO. Go and sleep under your mom's elbow."
So yeah, expect more madness. :heh:
...I count at least 3 references in that little bit right there...
I read that fic actually. Because of the art :D I recall that I liked it. Link me your FF.N profile and I'll add you to our list.
Keith :uhoh: He's a Bandit. That dang bandit keith....in America.
+1 cookie if you got that referance.
Despite the fact that he's...
FROM CANADA!!!
Random note today: SbtB hit 114 reviews, the most of any of my Nanoha stories. I'd like to do some kind of thank-you for it, but not sure what to do yet .... @_@
Random note today: SbtB hit 114 reviews, the most of any of my Nanoha stories. I'd like to do some kind of thank-you for it, but not sure what to do yet .... @_@
maybe you could finish 6th division redemption :D
*joke*
but do you plan to continue the fic? :)
congratulation to the new review record ;)
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-21, 14:08
maybe you could finish 6th division redemption :D
*joke*
but do you plan to continue the fic? :)
congratulation to the new review record ;)
So she said, but since we're constantly pestering(read: complimenting) her about SbtB, she keeps writing it instead... :p
So she said, but since we're constantly pestering(read: complimenting) her about SbtB, she keeps writing it instead... :p
good to hear
:)
*hopes it shows how fate achieved her realtionship with nanoha :D|6th division: redemption*
edit: next post claims the next page
:D
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-21, 14:32
good to hear
:)
*hopes it shows how fate achieved her realtionship with nanoha :D|6th division: redemption*
edit: next post claims the next page
:D
Personally i want to see a conclusion to the assassination thingie, and more hayatexyuuno :D
No spoiling the page claim :p
:uhoh:
err... hi page claim? :heh:
So she said, but since we're constantly pestering(read: complimenting) her about SbtB, she keeps writing it instead... :p
Haha, yeah my "Little break" From Redemption turned out to be rather long indeed. Yes, it will be finished. I'll probably end up doing it after SbtB is completed.
good to hear
:)
*hopes it shows how fate achieved her realtionship with nanoha :D|6th division: redemption*
The actual "How it happened" Will be in "Skeith Side Story", also known as "6th Division: Triple S". That will tell about the battle where Nanoha was wounded, how Fate was named "The Terror of Death", how Skeith was created and the unison she obtained with Nanoha, as well as the first seal break.
krisslanza
2008-01-21, 16:16
So will Fate's fanon title be "The Terror of Death" now? :D
Since Nanoha has that cool "White Devil" title and all... :eyespin:
The actual "How it happened" Will be in "Skeith Side Story", also known as "6th Division: Triple S". That will tell about the battle where Nanoha was wounded, how Fate was named "The Terror of Death", how Skeith was created and the unison she obtained with Nanoha, as well as the first seal break.
satashi-sama you are amazing :)
*waiting inpatiently for the next updates*
Evangelion Xgouki
2008-01-21, 16:28
Been a while since I last posted in here :uhoh:.
Saved by the Bell VIII
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3991951/8/
Enjoy <3
Awesome new chapter :D. So...The Betrayer has taken on the job as a photographer now? Quite an interesting change in career for him :heh:. So what's ol' Kal 'thelas up to now a days? Beauty Salon?
*suddenly has an image of Arthas working in an ice cream truck and rofl's*
And on the note of cross-overs...here's some 5-minute crack I whipped up from the OC thread...
Under the orange glow of the setting sun, people mingled about the end of their day of work. For some work was just about to begin for the evening shift. People talked and mingled about here and there, carrying on their normal routines in spite of the mysterious disappearances that had started to make the news. It was but a small abnormality in the larger world, our world. To them on the other hand, it was normal. It was survival.
IT, like the others of its kind, watched the humans mingle about, completely oblivious to its presence. IT didn't mind, as there was no way they could notice it anyway. They were its prey, its food.
From the clean glass plane IT watched and waited. There were too many around that would cause a commotion should it feast now. IT would wait until it could grab one without being noticed so as not to scare the food away from the hunting grounds.
The creature's patience would soon be rewarded as the crowds thinned as the bus departed from the now empty stop. A lone salary man made his way to the stop, oblivious to the danger around him. Yes, now was the time to strike. IT would soon have a well deserved meal. From the glass IT carefully reached out into our world towards the man. IT licked its lips in anticipation of the meal it was about to catch...
WHAM
IT stumbled back from the glass in its world as pain coursed through its stomach. Something had hit it. Hard. But that was impossible! Prey couldn't see IT when it reached into the prey's world. There was no way...
WHAM
Another blow sends the creature rolling across the floor, breaking its thoughts. IT stands quickly and steels itself to face its attacker. A quick scan of the area locates a lone figure standing where IT once stood by the glass. The attacker wore a white blouse and black skirt. Long hair was tied neatly into an off-centered ponytail.
A HUMAN?! Prey in its world?! Impossible! The only prey that came here were to be eaten. None could come under their own abilities. Unless...the rumors. IT had heard of rumors being passed amongst its kind.
The female held a black container in her hand. It looked like it was open at one end with a simple red orb set on one of the sides. She also wore...a belt? Why hadn't IT noticed noticed the large, silver belt before? The rumors! No! They couldn't be true!
She stared back into its inhuman eyes and said one word.
"Henshin."
With a quick arm movement, the black container slammed into the odd looking belt with a click...and glowed. IT had to cover its eyes from the light that emitted from the prey for a brief moment. Lowering its arms, IT took a step back. Gone was the female prey that had attacked it. Instead stood the things from the rumors. A creature of humanoid form covered in white armor. Blue stripes highlighted the armor sections on the body with blue gauntlets on the arms. Red, orval gems decorated the shoulders and boots. A white mask with large, blue almost bug-like orbs for eyes completed the outfit. An all too familiar belt was wrapped around its waist.
There was no doubt in its mind now. This was the thing from the rumors, the things that sought to destroy IT and its kind. The beings known to them only as Riders.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-21, 17:20
Haha, yeah my "Little break" From Redemption turned out to be rather long indeed. Yes, it will be finished. I'll probably end up doing it after SbtB is completed.
The actual "How it happened" Will be in "Skeith Side Story", also known as "6th Division: Triple S". That will tell about the battle where Nanoha was wounded, how Fate was named "The Terror of Death", how Skeith was created and the unison she obtained with Nanoha, as well as the first seal break.
Nah, you'll turn to lyrical days after that :p
And the side story sounds like it'll have a whole lot of epic :D
Been a while since I last posted in here :uhoh:.
Awesome new chapter :D. So...The Betrayer has taken on the job as a photographer now? Quite an interesting change in career for him :heh:. So what's ol' Kal 'thelas up to now a days? Beauty Salon?
*suddenly has an image of Arthas working in an ice cream truck and rofl's*
Thank you for those lovely mental images. :D
Edit: 'Lich kings Chilly treats' sound delicious, don't you think? :D
Kael'thas could also own a grill, The fried Phoenix :D
Evangelion Xgouki
2008-01-21, 19:46
Thank you for those lovely mental images. :D
Edit: 'Lich kings Chilly treats' sound delicious, don't you think? :D
Kael'thas could also own a grill, The fried Phoenix :D
Oh, you are very welcome sir :D.
Although I think he'd open a ice cream parlor called 'The Frozen Throne.' Home of the Northrend Sundae and Frostmourne Delight :heh:.
EDIT: Feel free to use this crack-induced idea if you want Satashi :heh:
Oh! The Cone of a Thousand Swirls. :eyespin:
*warps in*
+- Saint X Progress -+
AlternateS I Ch8
Counts
Words: 1314
Characters (no spaces): 5861
Characters (with spaces): 7164
Paragraphs: 67
Sentences: 170
Pages (approximate): 2
Readability
Average sentences per paragraph: 2.54
Average words per sentence: 7.73
Average characters per word: 4.46
Average words per page: 657.00
Flesch Reading Ease: 84.45
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 3.00
Automated Readability Index: 3.00
Completion Progress 5~15%
===
AltenateS II Prologue
Counts
Words: 4051
Characters (no spaces): 18149
Characters (with spaces): 22144
Paragraphs: 202
Sentences: 483
Pages (approximate): 6
Readability
Average sentences per paragraph: 2.39
Average words per sentence: 8.39
Average characters per word: 4.48
Average words per page: 675.17
Flesch Reading Ease: 84.59
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 4.00
Automated Readability Index: 4.00
Completion Progress 10~25%
+- Saint X Progress -+
@ Thread:
Okay, these are questions that i've asked the OC once... so please answer as well.
"What other Dimensions shows can be effectively crossed to the Nanohaverse? So, far, asides from what i have in my profile (check AlternateS II), I have planned Negima (manga story base) after it ends and a lot others."
"What kinds of villans can be included?"
- other questions still in thought.
With Nanoha?
Orphen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvbVF2Q9qgM&feature=related)
TENCHI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fylhq1N4EzU&feature=related)
Those are the best ones I think. Tenchi being the best of best.
ghazghkull
2008-01-21, 22:26
With Nanoha?
Orphen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvbVF2Q9qgM&feature=related)
TENCHI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fylhq1N4EzU&feature=related)
Those are the best ones I think. Tenchi being the best of best.
You probably only say that cus Tenchi's been surrounded by 6 hot women, and there are pleany of hot women in Nanoha :naughty: such as Nanoha, Fate, and Signum :naughty:
You probably only say that cus Tenchi's been surrounded by 6 hot women, and there are pleany of hot women in Nanoha :naughty: such as Nanoha, Fate, and Signum :naughty:
Actually I was thinking of galatic police, magic, action, and plenty of characters for plot..... but suit yourself.
perv.
ghazghkull
2008-01-21, 22:41
:heh: I admit it. I'm a perv :naughty:
Be careful girls. I'm out to get ya!!
But then again...you're one to talk since you advertise the fact you order in H-Doujins XD
:heh: I admit it. I'm a perv :naughty:
Be careful girls. I'm out to get ya!!
But then again...you're one to talk since you advertise the fact you order in H-Doujins XD
I collect all doujins :P H are the easiest to find.
Besides, they're research material for lemons :heh:
ghazghkull
2008-01-21, 22:47
I collect all doujins :P H are the easiest to find.
Besides, they're research material for lemons :heh:
LOL. I've got better research material. :naughty:*Inserts Jiraya's lecherous laugh*:naughty:
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 02:00
Good morning :)
"What other Dimensions shows can be effectively crossed to the Nanohaverse? So, far, asides from what i have in my profile (check AlternateS II), I have planned Negima (manga story base) after it ends and a lot others."
"What kinds of villans can be included?"
This has crossed my mind as well :p
Let's see, i'd say anything that has similar "powerlevels" (sorry for the use of that word... :uhoh:), meaning about the same level of destructive power, ready use of flight capabilities, interstellar capability (though not a requirement in my book)...
...also, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." as Arthur C. Clarke put it, so you could also have some people using 'conventional' methods as well...
i've always been bothered by the "no conventional weapons" rule of nanohaverse, as a sniper would be an excellent way to rid one self of magical girls... So having an adversary who uses conventional weapons would create a whole new set of dilemmas for the characters (a mine, for example, would be rather lethal, don't you think?).
That being said, i think something like Ghost in the Shell (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=910) would work, i'll agree that they can't fly, but they do have capabilities far surpassing normal humans, it would be interesting to see how the magical girls (and women) would do against cyborgs and some fun conventional weaponry (tachikomas, rifles, missiles, etc), and technology (cloaking).
as for magical
Slayers (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=657) would work, i'd say warcraft, if they didn't lack the destructive power (just imagine our poor lich king being on the wrong end of a starlight breaker... the frozen throne would be quickly renamed the molten stump... :uhoh:)
Another one here would be Shakugan no Shana (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=5943) , this idea has been rolling about for quite a while (burning arisa), and seems like a solid idea :)
You could always dump in a whole new magic system, like D&D... having a couple of elder dragons show up would create more than enough fun for our cast, what with the magic resistance, extremely hard scales, and spells that can cause some serious damage (or heal and buff like nothing they've ever seen)...
...Or throw a demon or two in their face, see what they can make of that... *has mental image of a succubus trying to seduce nanoha, bleeds* :uhoh::heh:
Then again, you could just dump something completely ridiculous in their faces, like my personal favourite, The Shrike (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shrike), and have some real tragedy hit them when people get ganked like never before (like in eagles fic, he killed off half of the cast, primary and supportive alike :uhoh:)...
That's my five cents anyway :p
LOL. I've got better research material. *Inserts Jiraya's lecherous laugh*
i don't think "hand" is valid research material here... or peeping for that matter. :D
i don't think "hand" is valid research material here... or peeping for that matter. :D
kakashi likes his books :D so there should be something ;)
Aaron008R
2008-01-22, 09:27
Four deleted posts...:heh:
Anyway, does anybody have the official magic points for Nanoha and Fate during season 1?
I'm not really sure if I'm correct, but I use 1.27 and 1.43 million respectively. I need the data for additional details on my fic. Thanks in advance.:)
Will comment later on the recent happenings. Need to review.:eyespin:
With Nanoha?
Orphen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvbVF2Q9qgM&feature=related)
TENCHI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fylhq1N4EzU&feature=related)
Those are the best ones I think. Tenchi being the best of best.
You probably only say that cus Tenchi's been surrounded by 6 hot women, and there are pleany of hot women in Nanoha :naughty: such as Nanoha, Fate, and Signum :naughty:
Well actually, the Tenchiverse is already integrated *cough*one*cough*planet*cough*in*cough*particular* cough*as*cough*an*cough*administrated*cough*world* cough*
Good morning :)
This has crossed my mind as well :p
Let's see, i'd say anything that has similar "powerlevels" (sorry for the use of that word... :uhoh:), meaning about the same level of destructive power, ready use of flight capabilities, interstellar capability (though not a requirement in my book)...
...also, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." as Arthur C. Clarke put it, so you could also have some people using 'conventional' methods as well...
i've always been bothered by the "no conventional weapons" rule of nanohaverse, as a sniper would be an excellent way to rid one self of magical girls... So having an adversary who uses conventional weapons would create a whole new set of dilemmas for the characters (a mine, for example, would be rather lethal, don't you think?).
That being said, i think something like Ghost in the Shell (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=910) would work, i'll agree that they can't fly, but they do have capabilities far surpassing normal humans, it would be interesting to see how the magical girls (and women) would do against cyborgs and some fun conventional weaponry (tachikomas, rifles, missiles, etc), and technology (cloaking).
as for magical
Slayers (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=657) would work, i'd say warcraft, if they didn't lack the destructive power (just imagine our poor lich king being on the wrong end of a starlight breaker... the frozen throne would be quickly renamed the molten stump... :uhoh:)
Another one here would be Shakugan no Shana (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=5943) , this idea has been rolling about for quite a while (burning arisa), and seems like a solid idea :)
You could always dump in a whole new magic system, like D&D... having a couple of elder dragons show up would create more than enough fun for our cast, what with the magic resistance, extremely hard scales, and spells that can cause some serious damage (or heal and buff like nothing they've ever seen)...
...Or throw a demon or two in their face, see what they can make of that... *has mental image of a succubus trying to seduce nanoha, bleeds* :uhoh::heh:
Then again, you could just dump something completely ridiculous in their faces, like my personal favourite, The Shrike (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shrike), and have some real tragedy hit them when people get ganked like never before (like in eagles fic, he killed off half of the cast, primary and supportive alike :uhoh:)...
That's my five cents anyway :p
i don't think "hand" is valid research material here... or peeping for that matter. :D
well i've already integrated tech such as these as well.
- well ideas noted, and taking from OC, it will be much more CRACKy...
still taking more ideas
kakashi likes his books :D so there should be something ;)
okay, so, let me try this once more.... with feeling.
I don't really think Naruto will work, simply because of how weak they are. Sure they can break a tree down and blow stuff up... but against a long range high ranking mage like Nanoha... what can you do? threw a knife? Sling a rock at her? Hit her with your fist?
Maybe Gaara could do a little damage, but if Nanoha was un limitered then he wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell against a divine buster. Because if a simple chakara infused clay figure can make Gaara lose a battle.... think what a full blast against his shield with the buster would do.
Now, Subaru, on hte other hand.... SHE would be a good Naruto fighter. I guess to make it work you would have to very VERY carefully pick your opponets without altering your character's strengths.
But then again, I'm not a huge naruto fan *only seen about 30 episodes, shiipuuden* so I could be wrong.
X-overs are hard to do properly, so I stay the heck away from them at all cost XDXD
Speaking of X-overs, for all those who mentioned it....
All people Nanoha work for in SbtB are named after WoW bosses XD
okay, so, let me try this once more.... with feeling.
I don't really think Naruto will work, simply because of how weak they are. Sure they can break a tree down and blow stuff up... but against a long range high ranking mage like Nanoha... what can you do? threw a knife? Sling a rock at her? Hit her with your fist?
Maybe Gaara could do a little damage, but if Nanoha was un limitered then he wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell against a divine buster. Because if a simple chakara infused clay figure can make Gaara lose a battle.... think what a full blast against his shield with the buster would do.
Now, Subaru, on hte other hand.... SHE would be a good Naruto fighter. I guess to make it work you would have to very VERY carefully pick your opponets without altering your character's strengths.
But then again, I'm not a huge naruto fan *only seen about 30 episodes, shiipuuden* so I could be wrong.
X-overs are hard to do properly, so I stay the heck away from them at all cost XDXD
Speaking of X-overs, for all those who mentioned it....
All people Nanoha work for in SbtB are named after WoW bosses XD
1. what are X-overs?(from the series?)
edit: solved, Case closed :D special thx to Chaos2Frozen :)
2. the best shippuuden episodes are 41 and 42 (especially 42);)
although I think Naruto is sometimes pathetic and the only special thing about him is the kyuubi, at the opposite sasuke with his sharingan and his skill is a cool character*but I prefer Naruto, because of the Kyuubi*
3. Naruto could survive a devine buster, maybe a star light breaker too and he could hurt Nanoha :( (watch shippuuden episode 42)
so at least:
I prefer your Fics like they are
without crossovers :)
Nanoha for the way :) especially NxF :):)
Chaos2Frozen
2008-01-22, 09:49
okay, so, let me try this once more.... with feeling.
Bu**y musical.
1. what are X-overs?(from the series?)
Cross-overs.
2. the best shippuuden episodes are 41 and 42 (especially 42);)
although I think Naruto is sometimes pathetic and the only special thing about him is the kyuubi, at the opposite sasuke with his sharingan and his skill is a cool character*but I prefer Naruto, because of the Kyuubi*
It's not like me to do this but...
Shikamaru is still my favorite.
Anyway, does anybody have the official magic points for Nanoha and Fate during season 1?
I'm not really sure if I'm correct, but I use 1.27 and 1.43 million respectively. I need the data for additional details on my fic. Thanks in advance.:)
That should be about right...
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 10:27
okay, so, let me try this once more.... with feeling.
I don't really think Naruto will work, simply because of how weak they are. Sure they can break a tree down and blow stuff up... but against a long range high ranking mage like Nanoha... what can you do? threw a knife? Sling a rock at her? Hit her with your fist?
Maybe Gaara could do a little damage, but if Nanoha was un limitered then he wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell against a divine buster. Because if a simple chakara infused clay figure can make Gaara lose a battle.... think what a full blast against his shield with the buster would do.
Now, Subaru, on hte other hand.... SHE would be a good Naruto fighter. I guess to make it work you would have to very VERY carefully pick your opponets without altering your character's strengths.
But then again, I'm not a huge naruto fan *only seen about 30 episodes, shiipuuden* so I could be wrong.
X-overs are hard to do properly, so I stay the heck away from them at all cost XDXD
Indeed, the main problem would be range, the naruto cast (and ninjas in general) are trained for close combat, not fighting someone who can rearrange the landscape from a mile away (IE hayate)... Also, flight presents a big problem.
2. the best shippuuden episodes are 41 and 42 (especially 42);)
although I think Naruto is sometimes pathetic and the only special thing about him is the kyuubi, at the opposite sasuke with his sharingan and his skill is a cool character*but I prefer Naruto, because of the Kyuubi*
3. Naruto could survive a devine buster, maybe a star light breaker too and he could hurt Nanoha :( (watch shippuuden episode 42)
Well i haven't been following shippuuden for quite a while, but as i recall, most of narutos abilities rely on close combat, and only the kyuubi powers add range to some of his attacks, and the time he can use that power is very limited...
...and he'd be fighting someone who's skyhigh, wielding massive amounts of long range firepower, and has cartridges if she needs any more power.
And narutos defensive powers are... wait, does he even have any? anything like a shield, a wall, anything?
Face it, naruto would be a splatter on the wall before he even got to the point of using most of his abilities... even if he could somehow reach the heights where nanoha operates...
This points out one dilemma about cross overs with nanoha, the aces are horribly overpowered for humans... Hayate can do mage equivalent of orbital bombardment (though she's within the atmosphere :heh:) and nanoha and her starlight breaker look like they could level a town in a single strike... :uhoh:
okay, so, let me try this once more.... with feeling.
And blood.
On the subject of crossovers, they are possible, if set in similar universes. Nanoha has the amazing advantage of dimension travelling, meaning that any 'they end up in dimension X' fic actually sounds somewhat believable.
All people Nanoha work for in SbtB are named after WoW bosses XD
Does that mean we'll get to see Ragnaros? Or Nefarion?
Ahh, my favourite bosses have always been the early ones. :D
but then again, you can't pair them with people like DBZ either.....
hm... How about this? Something in the atmosphere makes Nanoha characters sick. Think about it, a new planet, differnt air, ect. In their weakened condition they can't fly and/or summon their power properly.
Or say, something messes with their limiter, grounding them.
Both are "last resort" ideas in my book. something that nerfs a character.
*thinks*
Or , maybe, have something happen that's drastic. Nanoha loses Raising Heart. she uses her staff for catridges and to focus her beams. Without it, she's stuck to her energy ball moves and such. Give RH to Fate somehow and you instantly have the balance of Fate being full power and being able to mow down people, and Nanoha, who is nerfed enough where she will have trouble fighting things she's never even seen before.
But still, a universe for that to fall into....
@Keroko: Sure, Rag will make an appearance :D
And blood.
On the subject of crossovers, they are possible, if set in similar universes. Nanoha has the amazing advantage of dimension travelling, meaning that any 'they end up in dimension X' fic actually sounds somewhat believable.AKA My FileS mini-series. :nod:
*runs from anti-self-promotion officers*
Does that mean we'll get to see Ragnaros? Or Nefarion?
Ahh, my favourite bosses have always been the early ones. :DAt least we'll get to see the adage "It's cold up there." with the enactment of the Frozen Throne... :heh:
On a completely different note, Fate's bedroom door is locked :)
http://snappoll.com/poll/246148.php
Good, now I don't feel as bad for locking it in the last chapter :heh:
On a completely different note, Fate's bedroom door is locked :)
http://snappoll.com/poll/246148.php
Good, now I don't feel as bad for locking it in the last chapter :heh:
hm
yesterday i had an idea
fate's door is unlocked and she has pictures of nanoha
:D
hm
yesterday i had an idea
fate's door is unlocked and she has pictures of nanoha
:D
Keep dreaming :p my lemons are romantic
Speaking of lemons.....
Saved by the Bell ending bonus chapter lemon? ( like from diamond dust -> Emerald Dream)
http://snappoll.com/poll/246396.php
Keep dreaming :p my lemons are romantic
Speaking of lemons.....
Saved by the Bell ending bonus chapter lemon? ( like from diamond dust -> Emerald Dream)
http://snappoll.com/poll/246396.php
would be nice, but how detailed...
i'll vote later
*keep on dreaming ;)*
Kirika-chan
2008-01-22, 11:59
I don't says what I choose :D (but it's yes, of course XD)
I don't says what I choose :D (but it's yes, of course XD)
Spoiler:
No one is going to choose "No" :D
Saludos, Haru
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 12:32
Four deleted posts...:heh:
Anyway, does anybody have the official magic points for Nanoha and Fate during season 1?
I'm not really sure if I'm correct, but I use 1.27 and 1.43 million respectively. I need the data for additional details on my fic. Thanks in advance.:)
Will comment later on the recent happenings. Need to review.:eyespin:
Those numbers sound about right. I know they were in the million (Definitely over nine thousand!!! :eyespin: ) and that Fate's was higher then Nanoha's. Of course whenever a 'magic level' goes up or not is really a mystery... (We know Chrono is below that)
*cough*
So uh School of Lyrical chapter 3? No where near done. I have like... 2 pages done and I've repeatadly had to restart when it comes up to having to do Hayate, Arisa, and Suzuka's reaction to Nanoha's "date" with Fate. It is seriously becoming a pain :heh:
Off-hand... I know something that would challenge all of us: Micro-fiction. :D Who could write a 250 word story about Nanoha? :uhoh:
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 12:49
On the note of X-overs, lol I wonder how long an Angel from Evangelion would last against Nanoha's power...but then again...this is technology vs light of one's soul...
Maybe a minute or so against SLB before it gives out? What you guys think?
*cough*
So uh School of Lyrical chapter 3? No where near done. I have like... 2 pages done and I've repeatadly had to restart when it comes up to having to do Hayate, Arisa, and Suzuka's reaction to Nanoha's "date" with Fate. It is seriously becoming a pain :heh:
I'm looking forward to the release :)
Spoiler:
No one is going to choose "No" :D
Saludos, Haru
Someone said no.
Off-hand... I know something that would challenge all of us: Micro-fiction. :D Who could write a 250 word story about Nanoha? :uhoh:
Granted
It was a simple moment.
Standing with Fate in the gentle falling snow. The warmth on my back paired with the blanket wrapped around my shoulders gave me a safe feeling that I always longed for. The blonde’s breath was blowing softly against my temple, lightly moving her hair. When had Fate gotten so tall?
Turning my head I looked up at her and saw deep ruby eyes staring back down at me. Wisp of fog came out in a small puff, making me realize that she was breathing a little slower than normal. I don’t know why I did it at that moment, but I knew I wanted to. Moving ever so slightly I raised my chin up and pressed my lips against hers.
Fate kissed me back gently, her lips sticking to mine briefly before we each licked them as an afterthought. A second kiss came almost at once, this one lasting a little longer. Fate’s mouth was slightly chapped and I could taste the light cherry flavor of her lip balm, knowing that I would forever associate the taste with her.
When the kissing was over my friend simply looked at me with a slightly curious expression. “Whatever brought that on?”
Smiling, I leaned back up against her and looked back up at the snow from our balcony. “I just wanted to kiss you.” The arms wrapped around me again and I was embraced once more.
Yes, it was a simple moment.
On the note of X-overs, lol I wonder how long an Angel from Evangelion would last against Nanoha's power...but then again...this is technology vs light of one's soul...
Maybe a minute or so against SLB before it gives out? What you guys think?
I think the angel would win, hands down. the mass alone would kill her. Nanoha can block against magic but a falling building would kill her.
Angel: *steps on Nanoha*
Nanoha: *dead*
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 13:30
Well that would be if the Angel could even step on her. Sachiel wasn't exactly the most nimble thing in the world... And then I think most of the other Angels kind of floated. Nanoha could just use Flier Fin and move out of the way then just Divine Buster the N2 core and kill it :heh:
*cough*
Moving along to on-topic stuff... :eyespin:
@Haru: Clearly someone would say 'no'. :heh: Like anyone who is non-NxF... Although techinally speaking Satashi-sama didn't say who the lemon would involve. :twitch:
@Satashi-sama: And here I thought you couldn't do a such a short writing :heh: Guess I was wrong! :uhoh:
@Gillian: Well danke. Just don't hold your breath, I'm notoriously lazy and have horrible bouts of writer's block :heh: I might switch to doing Arc-en-Ciel to break my writer's block on School of Lyrical.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 13:30
I think the angel would win, hands down. the mass alone would kill her. Nanoha can block against magic but a falling building would kill her.
Angel: *steps on Nanoha*
Nanoha: *dead*
well, speaking of evangelion and nanoha...
http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/4004/2007092402jl8.jpg
anyways, some of the angels did have rather powerful 'beam' weapons too, so that's another thing nanoha would have to look out for...
@Gillian: Well danke. Just don't hold your breath, I'm notoriously lazy and have horrible bouts of writer's block :heh: I might switch to doing Arc-en-Ciel to break my writer's block on School of Lyrical.
nichts zu danken ;)
I can wait patiently(but only in emergency situations:heh:)
well, speaking of evangelion and nanoha...
http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/4004/2007092402jl8.jpg
anyways, some of the angels did have rather powerful 'beam' weapons too, so that's another thing nanoha would have to look out for...
I find this picture awsome
:)
and Nanoha has her Flash Move :>
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 14:09
well, speaking of evangelion and nanoha...
http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/4004/2007092402jl8.jpg
anyways, some of the angels did have rather powerful 'beam' weapons too, so that's another thing nanoha would have to look out for...
That would be the picture I was thinking XD
I find this picture awsome
:)
and Nanoha has her Flash Move :>
It's Fate, and it's called Sonic Move, not flash move.
It's Fate, and it's called Sonic Move, not flash move.
No no, he's right. Nanoha has a move similar to Sonic Move called Flash Move.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 14:15
and Nanoha has her Flash Move :>
It's Fate, and it's called Sonic Move, not flash move.
Actually, nanoha does have flash move, she used it in the first ep of a's to dodge vitas attack...
...but we're talking beams that level buildings, not miniscule (in comparison) hammers... :uhoh:
Page claiming is so much easier when you have a motor mouth :p
Challenge counter: someone to write a N/F micro fic, 250 words.
edit: Curse you SpaceBrotha
edit2: krisslanza: I can do anything I set my mind to !
edit3: IT was said 3 times, took out flash move lol
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 14:18
No no, he's right. Nanoha has a move similar to Sonic Move called Flash Move.
Honto?! :twitch: I've never seen her use it though...:twitch:
Edit: Well that's enough foruming for the next three hours T.T I've got class for three hours straight...T.T Life isn't FAIR!!! ><
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 14:21
Whenever I see the word 'flash' I always think of Shunpo :uhoh: I originally named Rune's version of Sonic Move 'Flash Step' but changed it :heh:
A 250 word micro fic? Hmmm... Just for AnimeSuki? I might be able to do that... I'm good at short things. It'd be a interesting attempt...
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 14:23
Edit: Well that's enough foruming for the next three hours T.T I've got class for three hours straight...T.T Life isn't FAIR!!! ><
...and we have 11 or even 12 hour school days every now and then, which makes you quite right, life isn't fair...
edit: on another note, i just found a larger version of that pic i posted, if someone wants, do send a pm my way :)
Honto?! :twitch: I've never seen her use it though...:twitch:
Edit: Well that's enough foruming for the next three hours T.T I've got class for three hours straight...T.T Life isn't FAIR!!! ><
I'm back from 8 hours school^^
and Nanoha used it at first*I think so* in Session1 in Episode 11 in the fight with Fate*which I think, is the best fight of entire Nanoha :)* to charge a attack on fate-chan ;)
Challenge counter: someone to write a N/F micro fic, 250 words.
In German, maybe
In English? better not^^
Anyway, does anybody have the official magic points for Nanoha and Fate during season 1?
I'm not really sure if I'm correct, but I use 1.27 and 1.43 million respectively. I need the data for additional details on my fic. Thanks in advance.:)
where could one find this listing of magic points? curious to see how everyone stands against each other.
thanks
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 15:52
I don't think there is a listing. Amy just mentioned Nanoha and Fate's "magic levels" in MSLN when she was going over a recording.
I don't think there is a listing. Amy just mentioned Nanoha and Fate's "magic levels" in MSLN when she was going over a recording.
OHHhhh. thanks.
to make this post more relevant... think it'd be fun if Signum adopted Lutecia (Zest did leave Signum to take care of Agito and Lu) ... though for that to happen... Lutecia's mom might have to bite the dust... (her body not surviving or something)
Signum would kindda be like the figure Zest was to Lu. And feels like Lu would only entirely listen to Signum.
It's too bad that no fic (correct me if I'm wrong) so far has really explored Lutecia's character. She can be interesting I think. She seems like the silent type but when she speaks, she'll have that cold insightful to-the-point cruel humour that can really burst your bubble. or deadpan the funniest comments Azumanga-Osaka style.
like the day Caro and Elio wants to know where babies come from... Lu will have all the answers.
OHHhhh. thanks.
to make this post more relevant... think it'd be fun if Signum adopted Lutecia (Zest did leave Signum to take care of Agito and Lu) ... though for that to happen... Lutecia's mom might have to bite the dust... (her body not surviving or something)
Signum would kindda be like the figure Zest was to Lu. And feels like Lu would only entirely listen to Signum.
It's too bad that no fic (correct me if I'm wrong) so far has really explored Lutecia's character. She can be interesting I think. She seems like the silent type but when she speaks, she'll have that cold insightful to-the-point cruel humour that can really burst your bubble. or deadpan the funniest comments Azumanga-Osaka style.
like the day Caro and Elio wants to know where babies come from... Lu will have all the answers.
[Self Promotion] 6th Division Reminisce has a lot to do with Lu (although I took some liberties) [/self promotion]
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 18:18
Challenge counter: someone to write a N/F micro fic, 250 words.
Challenge accepted! Might not be up there, but hey I've got nothing better to do.
All errors and mistakes are my own. bitch
Mama
My mamas had always been there for me, each in their own way. They’d protect me, each in their own little way.
One mama always tried her best to make me smile, like she was trying to give me something that I couldn’t have. The other gave me as much love as she could always smiling as she did everything.
I love them.
They saved my life.
Since the JS incident we’ve always been together, just the three of us. Even if they had different jobs, I was always with one or the other, until both had free time, and then we would be one happy family again for a little while until mama had to go on her way again. I didn’t mind. After all, I had two mamas.
I owe them so much. They’ve done so much for me.
I guess that’s why I’m now here, with Raising Heart on my back and Bardiche Zanber mode in my hand, standing between my injured mamas and one of the worst criminals to date.
I’m just their subordinate in terms in the military, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from defending them. No one, I mean no one was going to hurt them. I had hurt them enough back then. They had given everything they had to save me, and bring me home.
Now was my chance. Mama, for you I’ll fight. I’ll protect you now, like you protected me back then.
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 18:20
Wow my paying attention in English class and noting how long Micro-Fiction is has started a little "challenge" :heh:
I feel special. :nod: I guess I better cook up a Micro-Fiction... :uhoh: I wonder if we should make a little Micro-Fiction collection now :eyespin:
*Comes out of lurking*
Erm....Hi ^^; I'm new-ish here so to speak (been lurking for a long while and finally decided to come out of the shadows).
First of all I'd like to have a doubt cleared: Are we allowed to post? Yes, yes, apparently it is, but seeing as the old thread got locked.....
Second: I'd like to thank all fanfiction authors here. You guys are awesome! :D My special favorite would be USB500 :D No offense to the much worshiped Satashi. but comedy/parody (Yuunodas :D:D:D !!!!) is first on my list (closely followed by romance but comedy is first :D).
PS: Oh yeah! Almost forgot: What's with the page claiming thingy?
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 19:39
It's just a joke really. Because the standard configuration is that 20 posts are displayed per page, so basically whenever we realize that our post is on a fresh page, that person who made the post makes the page claim.
As for why, it's really just a joke. Something funny that all of us find amusing ^^
@ghazghkull: Nice little gem, I like it!
@krisslanza: You win an internet for the idea :D :D
@Riika: Welcome ^^ Glad to have you aboard. Yes, please post often! we are always happy to have a new face here ^_^ and no offense taken at all @_@ USB is the best of the best at what he doe (b" )b I'm not worshiped, I just update a lot :p
If you have any questions or anything please feel free to ask them or PM me ^_^
edit: and yeah, page-claiming is kind of a FF thread inside joke thing :D feel free to join in!
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 19:47
@ghazghkull: Nice little gem, I like it!
Hey, wouldn't you feel that way if your mother, adopted or otherwise, risked her very life to save you?
Vivio just got double the deal XD
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 19:54
Satashi-sama is modest. We worship Satashi-sama like a GOD. :D (Or well GODDESS. We aren't sure)
*Gasp* A... A internetz!? FOR ME!? :eyespin: *Displays proudly* :nod:
Ok I'll make a micro-fiction tomorrow then. I'm too lazy tonight :uhoh:
It's just a joke really. Because the standard configuration is that 20 posts are displayed per page, so basically whenever we realize that our post is on a fresh page, that person who made the post makes the page claim.
As for why, it's really just a joke. Something funny that all of us find amusing ^^
Ahh, I see, I see ^^
And yay! A fellow Canadian :D
@Riika: Welcome ^^ Glad to have you aboard. Yes, please post often! we are always happy to have a new face here ^_^ and no offense taken at all @_@ USB is the best of the best at what he doe (b" )b I'm not worshiped, I just update a lot :p
If you have any questions or anything please feel free to ask them or PM me ^_^
edit: and yeah, page-claiming is kind of a FF thread inside joke thing :D feel free to join in!
Thank you ^_^ It seemed like a very lively place so I decided to join in the fun instead of just watching in the sidelines :p
*cough cough* If I were to count the posts that have "Satashi-sama" and quote them, I'd have more than 50 pages filled :p So yeah, you are worshipped (I heard you even achieved god status, lol!)
Thanks for the offer :D
Lol. I will if I have a first post on a new page (haha) :heh::D
EDIT: Proof right here :p
Satashi-sama is modest. We worship Satashi-sama like a GOD. :D (Or well GODDESS. We aren't sure)
God or goddess?????
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 20:02
LOL here's the thing, Satashi-sama at the moment is androgynous since we don't even know if Satashi-sam is male or female XD
So until Satashi-sama decides to reveal the gender, we try to use neutral gender terminologies.
Because honestly...Satashi does things that would be considered masculine...but the lesbian scenes throw that off because it would require either an extremely perverted in the sense that if it's a he, he would be watching lesbians doing their thing left right and center, or Satashi-sama is a female and is in a lesbian relationship.
And even if Satashi-sama is married and has a husband or wife, that still wouldn't matter because for all we know, Satashi-sama could be a homosexual male or female XD
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 20:04
Basically Satashi-sama is stubborn so I never use any of those words like 'he', 'she', 'it' :P
But let us try and not veer offtopic... No need to call "them" :uhoh:
LOL here's the thing, Satashi-sama at the moment is androgynous since we don't even know if Satashi-sam is male or female XD
So until Satashi-sama decides to reveal the gender, we try to use neutral gender terminologies.
Because honestly...Satashi does things that would be considered masculine...but the lesbian scenes throw that off because it would require either an extremely perverted in the sense that if it's a he, he would be watching lesbians doing their thing left right and center, or Satashi-sama is a female and is in a lesbian relationship.
And even if Satashi-sama is married and has a husband or wife, that still wouldn't matter because for all we know, Satashi-sama could be a homosexual male or female XD
^^;......thanks....I think......
Stop trying to figure out my gender, you won't succeed. ^^ And I'm not a pervert, I just research everything before I write. Professionally, not pervertedly. I have several male and female friends I talk to about things. Differnt views on make-up, how lingerie is worn and why they wear it, how guys dress and think, how girls think, what guys like in girls, what girls like in guys. And the special few close friends I discus various things for intimate sections, to make the fic more real. ^^ I'm a research whore :P
So, off me and back ON-TOPIC!
Um....Question:
Is it acceptable for the group of girls to drink alcohol at their slumber party? No, not beer and whiskey. Wine coolers, wine, mageritas, spiked fruit drinks. Anything "for the sake of fun" or would you think it'd be a "do not go there" zone?
Edit: Page claim!
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 20:17
^^;......thanks....I think......
Stop trying to figure out my gender, you won't succeed. ^^ And I'm not a pervert, I just research everything before I write. Professionally, not pervertedly. I have several male and female friends I talk to about things. Differnt views on make-up, how lingerie is worn and why they wear it, how guys dress and think, how girls think, what guys like in girls, what girls like in guys. And the special few close friends I discus various things for intimate sections, to make the fic more real. ^^ I'm a research whore :P
So, off me and back ON-TOPIC!
Um....Question:
Is it acceptable for the group of girls to drink alcohol at their slumber party? No, not beer and whiskey. Wine coolers, wine, mageritas, spiked fruit drinks. Anything "for the sake of fun" or would you think it'd be a "do not go there" zone?
Edit: Page claim!
It would depend on how much. If they're being reasonable, they should draw the line the moment majority of the group is tipsy.
However, if it's a plot element that they drunk, then go for it. Otherwise erring on the side of caution, they should be careful of how much exactly they drink.
And someone will eventually figure out your gender, but that person would have to be incredibly good if they can figure it just from the forums XD
It would depend on how much. If they're being reasonable, they should draw the line the moment majority of the group is tipsy.
However, if it's a plot element that they drunk, then go for it. Otherwise erring on the side of caution, they should be careful of how much exactly they drink.
tipsy is most. plot element is I just want them not thinking completly straight. Truth or Dare, a little fun, that kinda thing.
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 20:32
tipsy is most. plot element is I just want them not thinking completly straight. Truth or Dare, a little fun, that kinda thing.
Then definitely watch it on how much they drink, otherwise it could turn ugly XD
tipsy is most. plot element is I just want them not thinking completly straight. Truth or Dare, a little fun, that kinda thing.
How about "go for it"? :p
Thanks for clearing that up guys (girls?) :D
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 20:43
As long as this Truth or Dare involves the removal of clo- *Dropkicked out of the thread*
*Crawls back in*
Ouch. *cough* Really. The way Arisa, Suzuka, and Hayate will react to Nanoha's little "date" with Fate in SoL is killing me. I have no idea how to use those three /groan
ghazghkull
2008-01-22, 20:48
As long as this Truth or Dare involves the removal of clo- *Dropkicked out of the thread*
*Crawls back in*
Ouch. *cough* Really. The way Arisa, Suzuka, and Hayate will react to Nanoha's little "date" with Fate in SoL is killing me. I have no idea how to use those three /groan
LOL. You okay? LOL
And as for using those three...Hmm...
Arisa: She'd probably just say that it was about bloody time that Nanoha and Fate got together or something, because if I remember correctly, in the A's Audio Drama series, Arisa had made a comment how Nanoha and Fate are always together and touching each other or something.
Hayate: She'd probably just respect their decision to date. Because honestly, if you noticed she's never really had an issue of the two sleeping together, plus she knows how close they are.
Suzuka: Hmm...that's a tough one...Not sure how she'd react, but if anything she'd be a neutral party.
As long as this Truth or Dare involves the removal of clo- *Dropkicked out of the thread*
*Crawls back in*
Ouch. *cough* Really. The way Arisa, Suzuka, and Hayate will react to Nanoha's little "date" with Fate in SoL is killing me. I have no idea how to use those three /groan
okay clothing removal approved.
Ugh, I'm in the SAME boat you are. Working them together, and the people viewing them....... and I have to deal with Nanoha's family and........man. -.- I feel your pain. Let's get together and work something out.
Fuyu no Sora
2008-01-22, 21:08
*Managed to steal a friend's computer for a few minutes*
okay clothing removal approved.
I can hardly wait to see that :D Someone walking in on them would embarrass 10 years out of all their lives :D:D:D
Ugh, I'm in the SAME boat you are. Working them together, and the people viewing them....... and I have to deal with Nanoha's family and........man. -.- I feel your pain. Let's get together and work something out.
You got into that boat of your own accord Sata-chan, so don't complain now :p (joke of course, I feel sorry for you guys :heh:)
I see we have a newcomer here :D! @Riika Welcome to the Nanoha FanFiction Thread :D Feel free to post as much as you like ( so long as it's not too off topic :p) and I hope you'll enjoy your stay :)
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 21:08
I'll take that into account ghaz. That is what is preventing me from writing in SoL. :heh:
@Satashi-sama:
Well... At least I don't have to cover Nanoha's family :eyespin: Since I'm doing this fic from Fate and Rune's point of view (Only not in the 1st person. I feel funny writing "I")
I was tinkering with Arisa maybe being jealous but that is likely just me over implying that Arisa may or may not have had a crush on Nanoha at one point or another. But everyone knows I'm crazy.
I can hardly wait to see that :D Someone walking in on them would embarrass 10 years out of all their lives :D:D:D
That would be fun :D
I see we have a newcomer here :D! @Riika Welcome to the Nanoha FanFiction Thread :D Feel free to post as much as you like ( so long as it's not too off topic :p) and I hope you'll enjoy your stay :)
Thank you ^_^ I'm sure I'll enjoy it here. I'm enjoying it already :D!
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 21:49
Actually if this is in Satashi-sama's Saved by the Bell they'd all be... 17? 18?
If you are looking at 10 year olds in that situation you should probably all be looking at me :rolleyes: :nod:
Actually if this is in Satashi-sama's Saved by the Bell they'd all be... 17? 18?
If you are looking at 10 year olds in that situation you should probably all be looking at me :rolleyes: :nod:
@_@
Loli is anime's way of saying "It's okay, they're really 18!"
But yeah, they are all 17 in the story, except for Hayate, who's 18. She failed a year of school T_T
krisslanza
2008-01-22, 21:57
Ouch poor Hayate :heh: I always thought she was 18 because her birthday came earlier or something... :uhoh:
*Jots down notes about ages* Have to make sure ya know? :eyespin:
And yes. I am crazy. :nod:
I even went so far as wanting Rune to trick someone in SoL into strip poker! :eyespin:
Gilraen Isilra
2008-01-22, 21:59
^^;......thanks....I think......
Stop trying to figure out my gender, you won't succeed. ^^ And I'm not a pervert, I just research everything before I write. Professionally, not pervertedly. I have several male and female friends I talk to about things. Differnt views on make-up, how lingerie is worn and why they wear it, how guys dress and think, how girls think, what guys like in girls, what girls like in guys. And the special few close friends I discus various things for intimate sections, to make the fic more real. ^^ I'm a research whore :P
So, off me and back ON-TOPIC!
Um....Question:
Is it acceptable for the group of girls to drink alcohol at their slumber party? No, not beer and whiskey. Wine coolers, wine, mageritas, spiked fruit drinks. Anything "for the sake of fun" or would you think it'd be a "do not go there" zone?
Edit: Page claim!
Well yeah, I mean depends, If I am with my friends @ a slumber party, we'll most likely go down to my friend's dad's bar and start pouring shooters or making fruity cocktails =P Try some Amaretto and stuff, nothing super strong except for Vodka and Orange Juice, which btw is super (Thx 2 a friend for the tip ;p) And then watch a movie or play silly games such as truth or dare, do our nails, read cosmo/glamour etc and just chat chat chat ;p
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 22:22
Um....Question:
Is it acceptable for the group of girls to drink alcohol at their slumber party? No, not beer and whiskey. Wine coolers, wine, mageritas, spiked fruit drinks. Anything "for the sake of fun" or would you think it'd be a "do not go there" zone?
Edit: Page claim!
OOOoooi! daft bastard page claiming while i'm asleep! :p
anyway, group of girls obviously not involving yuuno... I'd say drinking is acceptable, but by princible (and experience) i'm always against truth or dare, especially when slightly tipsy...
...then again, it could work in a way, but it could lead to some akward, unconfortable and very embarrassing situations...
...meh, it's your fic, go and write it like you want :p;)
Satashi-sama is modest. We worship Satashi-sama like a GOD. :D (Or well GODDESS. We aren't sure)More like we're not allowed to. :eyespin:
Nonetheless, a God is asexual. And anybody who inspires followers from both sides of the shipping divide deserves the title of Sankt Kaiser. :D:heh:
In other news:
I've not been very active in writing since I'm getting more and more busy each day, and that now there seems to be a strike Forth coming along... Of course the OC thread has taken the claim apart and pronounced it to be a fake, but yeah the fear of a sequel is slowing me down by a lot. I'm supposed to have released the first chapter of the OC's take on StrikerS. :heh:
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-22, 23:36
More like we're not allowed to. :eyespin:
Nonetheless, a God is asexual. And anybody who inspires followers from both sides of the shipping divide deserves the title of Sankt Kaiser. :D:heh:
In other news:
I've not been very active in writing since I'm getting more and more busy each day, and that now there seems to be a strike Forth coming along... Of course the OC thread has taken the claim apart and pronounced it to be a fake, but yeah the fear of a sequel is slowing me down by a lot. I'm supposed to have released the first chapter of the OC's take on StrikerS. :heh:
The greek and norse gods called, they'd like their genders back...
The strike forth could be a fake, hopefully atleast the story premise is fake that they posted in the OC thread... sounded horrible, a homeland security force named "Dominators" was the first thing that struck me as a let-down... and then there were all sorts of gah about the premise besides that... just can't remember what :heh:
Ouch poor Hayate :heh: I always thought she was 18 because her birthday came earlier or something... :uhoh:
*Jots down notes about ages* Have to make sure ya know? :eyespin:
She failed a year a while back because of physical theropy. I'll reveal that in teh sleepover.
OOOoooi! daft bastard page claiming while i'm asleep! :p
anyway, group of girls obviously not involving yuuno... I'd say drinking is acceptable, but by princible (and experience) i'm always against truth or dare, especially when slightly tipsy...
...then again, it could work in a way, but it could lead to some akward, unconfortable and very embarrassing situations...
...meh, it's your fic, go and write it like you want :p;)
It's just going to be for fun and a slight push for N/F
More like we're not allowed to. :eyespin:
Nonetheless, a God is asexual. And anybody who inspires followers from both sides of the shipping divide deserves the title of Sankt Kaiser. :D:heh:
In other news:
I've not been very active in writing since I'm getting more and more busy each day, and that now there seems to be a strike Forth coming along... Of course the OC thread has taken the claim apart and pronounced it to be a fake, but yeah the fear of a sequel is slowing me down by a lot. I'm supposed to have released the first chapter of the OC's take on StrikerS. :heh:
*is asexual*
In other news:
link me your stories and let me archive them
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-23, 01:13
It's just going to be for fun and a slight push for N/F
oh, then it's fine ;)
Though i do have the feeling that i'll be growing another palm from my face during it... well, that's fun too i guess :rolleyes:
*is asexual*
So you're accepting your divine nature then? :p
Evangelion Xgouki
2008-01-23, 01:27
Well, seems like some people in the OC thread want me to post this here, so...
A Day at the Amusement Park, a GenerationS side story
In the nearly clear, blue sky above the sun shined its warming rays as it passed its apex. The rays of warmth heated the surrounding air of the city below bursting with activity. Men and women milled around inside and out going about their daily business. Some sought out the refuge of the tall, air conditioned buildings. Others took advantage of the warm weather and spent the day out to take in some fresh air. The local amusement park was especially busy with the pleasant weather. Groups of friends gathered and milled about. Families of all sizes and relations wandered the park led on by smiling, eager children. There were also some mixes of the two groups enjoying a day at the park.
“Waaa~!”
One Vivio Takamachi took in the amazing sights around her with a mix of curiosity and wonder. Her mismatched eyes darted from ride of ride, from display to display as she almost skipped in joy on one of the many concrete paths. If she was able to have her own way, she would be running about from attraction to attraction. However her escorts on either side of her for the day preferred a more casual pace at the moment.
“Vivio, what would you like to ride first?” asked the young lady holding onto her hand on her left.
“Everything!” replied the young girl with a bright smile.
The young man on her right chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Well, I don’t think we can ride them all at once, Vivio.”
That caused Vivio to pause her current train of thought and ponder for a moment. She placed a finger from her free hand on her chin as her eyes wandered upwards in what appeared to be deep thought. A short moment passed before she excitedly pointed at the Merry-Go-Round.
“That one Nanoha-mama!”
“Alright. Let’s go!” exclaimed Nanoha Takamachi, the famed Ace of Aces (as well as infamous White Devil) of the TSAB, as she smiled down at her adopted daughter.
The heterochromatic girl giggled in excitement as she sprinted towards the selected ride, dragging her mother along side her hand in hand. From the rear, head librarian of the TSAB Infinity Library Yuuno Scrya couldn’t hold back the wide smile as he watched the two run off.
“Yuuno-kun~! Hurry up!” called back Nanoha as she tried to keep up with her daughter.
“Coming,” he called back, breaking into a jog to catch up to the pair.
With the large crowds that day, the majority of the rides were fairly busy. Lines at the more popular attractions had several hour waits as people continued to pile into the robed-off areas. The Merry-Go-Round was no exception as the pair stood in line. Nanoha glanced around her to find her friend sitting down on one of the nearby benches positioned around the ride area.
“Eh? What are you doing over there, Yuuno-kun?”
The blonde-haired young man lifted the camera that was resting around his neck and gestured to it, “You two go on. It’d be harder to get good pictures if I was right next to you.”
“Mou…are you sure?” remarked the brunette with a slight frown.
“I’m sure, Nanoha,” he replied with a laugh, “Besides, the signs say they only allow one adult to be standing per child and she is your daughter.”
“Oh, fine. You had better get some good pictures then, you silly ferret.”
“I will, I promise.”
A tug on her arm brought Nanoha’s attention to the girl besides her as she knelt down to answer some question she had. From the bench, Yuuno leaned back and watched the mother-daughter pair with a smile. He had known the famous mage for over a decade now. In a way, all of this was his fault.
‘No that wasn’t right,’ he corrected himself, ‘I was the catalyst that started a journey and an adventure.’
The line moved at a fairly quick pace due to the large capacity of the Merry-Go-Round and its rather short duration compared to most other rides. Based on his estimates, they would only have to wait another two sets of people before it would be their turn. He sets the camera down on his lap and allows his mind to wander while he waits.
‘Nanoha…a very close and dear friend to me that I’ve known since the beginning of, well, all of this. We’ve been through thick and thin together in those two Lost Logia incidents. It’s still rather odd how it all turned out back then,’ he chuckles, ‘To think that she would be the one to pick up where I failed and push forward to collect the remaining Jewel Seeds. And out of her own resolve to help me, too. At first I felt guilty for throwing all this on her shoulders, but when she scolded me and wanted to do it for herself to help…’
His eyes blink as he straightens up and scan over the line looking for where they were. They were now closer to the front, but still at least one set of people away. It looked like Vivio was asking her mother some questions to which Nanoha was happily replying if the bright smile on her face was any sign. The sight of mother and daughter smiling was too much as a smile crept up on Yuuno’s lips.
‘Yes, I think it was then that I began treating Nanoha more as a friend rather than a partner. Back then I was still young and naïve, but now I think about it that was probably when I started to fall for that girl whose smile and determination could surpass extraordinary odds.’
The large group of people exiting the ride brought him back to reality. Picking up the camera, he scans the circular ride for the pair. Even with the mass of people wandering looking for an open spot he manages to pick out the brunette and her rather unique off-centered ponytail on the outer ring of the ride. He watches as she helps Vivio up onto the ornate horse. The little girl smiles and giggles as she grips the pole running through the seat. Behind her Nanoha rests one hand protectively on her waist, just in case.
Yuuno hefts the camera up and peers through the viewfinder as the bell in the center rings announcing the start of the ride. The platform begins its slow rotation with music pouring from the numerous speakers in the ceiling. He centers and snaps a few shots of Vivio as she smiles even brighter with the horse slowly bobbing up and down. They pass out of view for a moment, allowing him to set the camera down to rest his arms before coming back around. This time he zooms out to get a few shots of the pair passing by smiling happily.
As he snaps the last photo for the rotation, Yuuno’s mind wanders a bit to the older woman in the photo. Having known her since she was nine, he’s had the opportunity to watch as she developed and matured over the years. From that little, energetic girl she had grown to be a stunning woman with an incredible track record with the TSAB, her career practically set for her.
‘Her figure had also filled out quite nicely, too. Not to mention how great she looks in that skirt…’
He quickly coughs, trying to clear that train of thought from his mind. It was well known throughout the TSAB of the three Aces from the Non-Administered world and their spectacular feats from the young age of nine with no prior knowledge of magic or formal training (with the exception of Fate). Over the past few years their stunning beauty and continuing single status also became fairly well known. Many men, from recruits to high-ranking officers, tried their hand at attempting to court one of the famed Aces only to be turned down. Some had compared the chances to dating one of them to taking them on one-on-one with no limiters and no attack restrictions. This comparison had also kept many from even trying in the first place, yet some still tried their luck now and then.
Setting the camera down on his lap, Yuuno recalls what Hayate had told him before they left for the park.
“Can we talk for a bit, Yuuno-kun?” Hayate spoke audibly, winking in Nanoha’s direction.
“Uh… Sure…” Yuuno glanced at Nanoha.
Nanoha paused in confusion, but then shrugged and said, “Alright. Don’t be late, Yuuno-kun~!” before running off after Vivio.
Hayate dragged him around a bit before settling behind a wall. She stood up straightly with her hands akimbo, a confident smile on her face.
Yuuno pushed up his glasses nervously, “What did you want to talk about, Hayate?”
“So you’ve finally made a first move, huh, Yuuno-kun?”
“But…” Yuuno sighed, “Like we said, it’s just a-Wha?!” he jolted as Hayate’s finger was pointed directly at his nose.
“Whatever it is, you must do your best so as not to disappoint Nanoha-chan,” Hayate warned him with one eye closed, her other hand rose to form an encouraging fist, “Okay?”
‘The first move, huh?’ he mentally sighs.
While the others had never said anything about it, Hayate had been the one to confront him about the ‘status’ between Nanoha and himself. As much as tried to deny any romantic interest in the girl, he knew that it was a lie and he was also lying to himself. He had given her a lot of space when she first started her TSAB career so she could find her calling. The atrocious lack of organization in the Infinity Library had also kept him quite busy at the same time. Now, however she’s an instructor for the new TSAB recruits and plans on remaining such as her refusals of promotions after the Cradle Incident have shown. Not to mention that she has a daughter to look after.
‘Perhaps now would be the best time to give into Hayate’s urgings…,’ he ponders.
The lack of music and rise in voices breaks his train of thought. He instinctively stands and looks around for the pair from the crowded ride’s exit. A slender hand waving above the sea of heads catches his eye. Moments later the trio is reunited by the bench with Vivio giggling happily between the two adults.
“Mama! Mama! Let’s go on another one!” she urges while tugging on Nanoha’s arm.
Nanoha nods, taking a moment to look around at the sea of people around the park.
“Alright. Which one do you want to ride?”
The young girl grins and takes off running down one of the paths. With her hand still locked with her daughters, Nanoha had no choice but to keep up behind the excited bundle of energy the best she could. Behind them Yuuno couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the ‘great’ Ace of Aces being dragged along by a little girl. It definitely was quite an unusual sight.
As the daylight slowly faded away, the trio would ride several more of the attractions, with Vivio promptly dragging them off to the next one with an excited look on her face. Now the sun was nearing the end of its journey across the sky for that day. A spectrum of reds and yellows replaced the lively blue sky. Many groups had already left the park for the day to either make their way home or find a place to eat. The slowly thinning crowds and dimming sky was not lost to the two adults.
“It’s starting to get late, Nanoha. We should probably start heading out soon before we get stuck in the rush out.”
The brunette nods in agreement, “That would be a good idea. Come on, Vivio. Let’s head home.”
Vivio, however, had other ideas.
“No! I don’t want to…,” she complained.
Both adults sighed softly, having realized that this was probably the reaction they would get from the girl. Nanoha knelt before Vivio and placed her hands on her shoulders.
“Vivio, it’s starting to get late. We can always come back another time. Plus Fate-mama is waiting at home for us.”
The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, puffing her cheeks out as she shook her head to stand by her original decision. As Nanoha tried to reason with her daughter, Yuuno couldn’t help but grin as she watched the little girl whose mannerisms reminded him so much of her mother.
“How about this Vivio,” he starts as he squats down next to Nanoha, “We’ll do one more ride. Any ride you want, okay?”
“Mou, Yuuno-kun. Are you sure?”
Before the librarian could respond, Vivio points her finger at a ride behind them.
“That one!”
Yuuno and Nanoha both rise and turn to look at what the girl was pointing at. Two pairs of eyes fell upon the large Ferris Wheel towering near the end of the park. With the sunlight slowly beginning to wane the giant wheel was lit up all over by bright lights, slowly spinning its passengers around in enclosed passenger pods. Finding herself unable to come up with any opposition to the proposed agreement, Nanoha straightens up and smiles.
“Alright. One more ride.”
Vivio lets out a cheer and grabs the adults’ hands as she excitedly makes her way to the ride. At the same time the pair wonders where she gets all this energy of hers from.
A short time later the trio finds themselves slowly rising from the ground in one of the silver pods. At one end of the pod Vivio kneels on the plastic seat with her hands pressed against the window. Green and red eyes gaze out over the brightly lit park rides and buildings slowly sinking as the wheel turns with curiosity and fascination. On the other end Nanoha and Yuuno sit next to each other and watch over the young girl.
‘Oh boy…I guess it’s now or never,’ he tells himself.
“Nanoha?”
The brunette turns her attention to the blonde boy, “Hm? What is it Yuuno-kun?”
“Erm…ah, Vivio has quite a family, huh?” he blurts out in nervousness.
“Yea, she does doesn’t she?” she says leaning back against the seat, “Fate-chan and I take care of her most of the time. Sometimes Hayate and her Knights watch her watch her when we’re busy with Bureau stuff. Now that I think about it, I think Vita-chan looks to her like an older sister although I doubt she’ll ever admit it.”
Nanoha giggles as she glances over at Vivio, “Maybe I should tell Vivio to start calling her ‘Nee-chan’ from now on.”
That got a chuckle from the young man, especially with the scene of the powerful Iron Knight blushing in embarrassment and stuttering denials floating around his mind.
“Yes, that would be interesting to see.”
“All the Forwards have some attachment to her before RF6 was disbanded. Even Chrono-kun can’t deny that he’s fond of Vivio with how he grins every time she calls him ‘Uncle Chrono.’”
“She does have that effect on people.”
Straightening himself up, Yuuno takes a deep breath to gather what courage he can.
“Ah, what would you say about me Nanoha?”
“Oh, you’ve also been a huge help. I feel kinda bad sometimes when I keep having to ask you to watch her,” she replies in a bit of embarrassment.
“Don’t worry about. I don’t mind at all, especially with all that’s been going on lately everyone’s been pretty busy. Although…”
“Although…?” she questions as she turns to look at him curiously.
He knew that there was no turning back now.
“I-I want to be there for you and Vivio, Nanoha. To be there when you need help,” he pauses as she stares back with her blue orbs waiting for him to continue, “What I mean to say is you, Vivio…would you…”
“Mama look!”
Both adults nearly fall out of their seat in surprise as Vivio jumps between them and points at the window she had come from. Nanoha is the first to recover from the slight scare.
“Look at what Vivio?”
As the young girl excitedly leads her mother over to the other window, Yuuno takes a moment to calm down. He leans back on the seat and watches Vivio excitedly point out different things outside to her smiling mother.
‘I guess now just wasn’t the right time, huh?’ he muses.
Although he was disappointed, he was also a bit glad that Vivio did what she did. He had known Nanoha for a long time and couldn’t deny that he liked her. There were probably others that could see it, but Hayate had always been the most open about encouraging him to ‘make his move’ as she would say.
Yet he was also worried about what would happen when he actually did ask her to go out with him. He knew what he felt, but he never could really tell how she felt towards him. She never really gave any signs of liking him, yet she also never gave any signs of not being against it either. If it meant ruining the friendship they had he didn’t want to risk it, but at the same time he won’t know until he tries.
“Mama, over there! So pretty~”
Yuuno smiles as he continues to watch the pair. There was no use to rush things. Sometimes it was better to just stand back and wait for the right moment. If it was meant to be he’ll wait for that moment. Until then he’ll be there for her as he was back then, watching her and protecting her in anyway he could.
I got 'volunteered' to write this up after they read GenerationS Chapter 1a :heh:
Well, seems like some people in the OC thread want me to post this here, so...
A Day at the Amusement Park, a GenerationS side story
In the nearly clear, blue sky above the sun shined its warming rays as it passed its apex. The rays of warmth heated the surrounding air of the city below bursting with activity. Men and women milled around inside and out going about their daily business. Some sought out the refuge of the tall, air conditioned buildings. Others took advantage of the warm weather and spent the day out to take in some fresh air. The local amusement park was especially busy with the pleasant weather. Groups of friends gathered and milled about. Families of all sizes and relations wandered the park led on by smiling, eager children. There were also some mixes of the two groups enjoying a day at the park.
“Waaa~!”
One Vivio Takamachi took in the amazing sights around her with a mix of curiosity and wonder. Her mismatched eyes darted from ride of ride, from display to display as she almost skipped in joy on one of the many concrete paths. If she was able to have her own way, she would be running about from attraction to attraction. However her escorts on either side of her for the day preferred a more casual pace at the moment.
“Vivio, what would you like to ride first?” asked the young lady holding onto her hand on her left.
“Everything!” replied the young girl with a bright smile.
The young man on her right chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Well, I don’t think we can ride them all at once, Vivio.”
That caused Vivio to pause her current train of thought and ponder for a moment. She placed a finger from her free hand on her chin as her eyes wandered upwards in what appeared to be deep thought. A short moment passed before she excitedly pointed at the Merry-Go-Round.
“That one Nanoha-mama!”
“Alright. Let’s go!” exclaimed Nanoha Takamachi, the famed Ace of Aces (as well as infamous White Devil) of the TSAB, as she smiled down at her adopted daughter.
The heterochromatic girl giggled in excitement as she sprinted towards the selected ride, dragging her mother along side her hand in hand. From the rear, head librarian of the TSAB Infinity Library Yuuno Scrya couldn’t hold back the wide smile as he watched the two run off.
“Yuuno-kun~! Hurry up!” called back Nanoha as she tried to keep up with her daughter.
“Coming,” he called back, breaking into a jog to catch up to the pair.
With the large crowds that day, the majority of the rides were fairly busy. Lines at the more popular attractions had several hour waits as people continued to pile into the robed-off areas. The Merry-Go-Round was no exception as the pair stood in line. Nanoha glanced around her to find her friend sitting down on one of the nearby benches positioned around the ride area.
“Eh? What are you doing over there, Yuuno-kun?”
The blonde-haired young man lifted the camera that was resting around his neck and gestured to it, “You two go on. It’d be harder to get good pictures if I was right next to you.”
“Mou…are you sure?” remarked the brunette with a slight frown.
“I’m sure, Nanoha,” he replied with a laugh, “Besides, the signs say they only allow one adult to be standing per child and she is your daughter.”
“Oh, fine. You had better get some good pictures then, you silly ferret.”
“I will, I promise.”
A tug on her arm brought Nanoha’s attention to the girl besides her as she knelt down to answer some question she had. From the bench, Yuuno leaned back and watched the mother-daughter pair with a smile. He had known the famous mage for over a decade now. In a way, all of this was his fault.
‘No that wasn’t right,’ he corrected himself, ‘I was the catalyst that started a journey and an adventure.’
The line moved at a fairly quick pace due to the large capacity of the Merry-Go-Round and its rather short duration compared to most other rides. Based on his estimates, they would only have to wait another two sets of people before it would be their turn. He sets the camera down on his lap and allows his mind to wander while he waits.
‘Nanoha…a very close and dear friend to me that I’ve known since the beginning of, well, all of this. We’ve been through thick and thin together in those two Lost Logia incidents. It’s still rather odd how it all turned out back then,’ he chuckles, ‘To think that she would be the one to pick up where I failed and push forward to collect the remaining Jewel Seeds. And out of her own resolve to help me, too. At first I felt guilty for throwing all this on her shoulders, but when she scolded me and wanted to it for herself to help…’
His eyes blink as he straightens up and scan over the line looking for where they were. They were now closer to the front, but still at least one set of people away. It looked like Vivio was asking her mother some questions to which Nanoha was happily replying if the bright smile on her face was any sign. The sight of mother and daughter smiling was too much as a smile crept up on Yuuno’s lips.
‘Yes, I think it was then that I began treating Nanoha more as a friend rather than a partner. Back then I was still young and naïve, but now I think about it that was probably when I started to fall for that girl whose smile and determination could surpass extraordinary odds.’
The large group of people exiting the ride brought him back to reality. Picking up the camera, he scans the circular ride for the pair. Even with the mass of people wandering looking for an open spot he manages to pick out the brunette and her rather unique off-centered ponytail on the outer ring of the ride. He watches as she helps Vivio up onto the ornate horse. The little girl smiles and giggles as she grips the pole running through the seat. Behind her Nanoha rests one hand protectively on her waist, just in case.
Yuuno hefts the camera up and peers through the viewfinder as the bell in the center rings announcing the start of the ride. The platform begins its slow rotation with music pouring from the numerous speakers in the ceiling. He centers and snaps a few shots of Vivio as she smiles even brighter with the horse slowly bobbing up and down. They pass out of view for a moment, allowing him to set the camera down to rest his arms before coming back around. This time he zooms out to get a few shots of the pair passing by smiling happily.
As he snaps the last photo for the rotation, Yuuno’s mind wanders a bit to the older woman in the photo. Having known her since she was nine, he’s had the opportunity to watch as she developed and matured over the years. From that little, energetic girl she had grown to be a stunning woman with an incredible track record with the TSAB, her career practically set for her.
‘Her figure had also filled out quite nicely, too. Not to mention how great she looks in that skirt…’
He quickly coughs, trying to clear that train of thought from his mind. It was well known throughout the TSAB of the three Aces from the Non-Administered world and their spectacular feats from the young age of nine with no prior knowledge of magic or formal training (with the exception of Fate). Over the past few years their stunning beauty and continuing single status also became fairly well known. Many men, from recruits to high-ranking officers, tried their hand at attempting to court one of the famed Aces only to be turned down. Some had compared the chances to dating one of them to taking them on one-on-one with no limiters and no attack restrictions. This comparison had also kept many from even trying in the first place, yet some still tried their luck now and then.
Setting the camera down on his lap, Yuuno recalls what Hayate had told him before they left for the park.
“Can we talk for a bit, Yuuno-kun?” Hayate spoke audibly, winking in Nanoha’s direction.
“Uh… Sure…” Yuuno glanced at Nanoha.
Nanoha paused in confusion, but then shrugged and said, “Alright. Don’t be late, Yuuno-kun~!” before running off after Vivio.
Hayate dragged him around a bit before settling behind a wall. She stood up straightly with her hands akimbo, a confident smile on her face.
Yuuno pushed up his glasses nervously, “What did you want to talk about, Hayate?”
“So you’ve finally made a first move, huh, Yuuno-kun?”
“But…” Yuuno sighed, “Like we said, it’s just a-Wha?!” he jolted as Hayate’s finger was pointed directly at his nose.
“Whatever it is, you must do your best so as not to disappoint Nanoha-chan,” Hayate warned him with one eye closed, her other hand rose to form an encouraging fist, “Okay?”
‘The first move, huh?’ he mentally sighs.
While the others had never said anything about it, Hayate had been the one to confront him about the ‘status’ between Nanoha and himself. As much as tried to deny any romantic interest in the girl, he knew that it was a lie and he was also lying to himself. He had given her a lot of space when she first started her TSAB career so she could find her calling. The atrocious lack of organization in the Infinity Library had also kept him quite busy at the same time. Now, however she’s an instructor for the new TSAB recruits and plans on remaining such as her refusals of promotions after the Cradle Incident have shown. Not to mention that she has a daughter to look after.
‘Perhaps now would be the best time to give into Hayate’s urgings…,’ he ponders.
The lack of music and rise in voices breaks his train of thought. He instinctively stands and looks around for the pair from the crowded ride’s exit. A slender hand waving above the sea of heads catches his eye. Moments later the trio is reunited by the bench with Vivio giggling happily between the two adults.
“Mama! Mama! Let’s go on another one!” she urges while tugging on Nanoha’s arm.
Nanoha nods, taking a moment to look around at the sea of people around the park.
“Alright. Which one do you want to ride?”
The young girl grins and takes off running down one of the paths. With her hand still locked with her daughters, Nanoha had no choice but to keep up behind the excited bundle of energy the best she could. Behind them Yuuno couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the ‘great’ Ace of Aces being dragged along by a little girl. It definitely was quite an unusual sight.
As the daylight slowly faded away, the trio would ride several more of the attractions, with Vivio promptly dragging them off to the next one with an excited look on her face. Now the sun was nearing the end of its journey across the sky for that day. A spectrum of reds and yellows replaced the lively blue sky. Many groups had already left the park for the day to either make their way home or find a place to eat. The slowly thinning crowds and dimming sky was not lost to the two adults.
“It’s starting to get late, Nanoha. We should probably start heading out soon before we get stuck in the rush out.”
The brunette nods in agreement, “That would be a good idea. Come on, Vivio. Let’s head home.”
Vivio, however, had other ideas.
“No! I don’t want to…,” she complained.
Both adults sighed softly, having realized that this was probably the reaction they would get from the girl. Nanoha knelt before Vivio and placed her hands on her shoulders.
“Vivio, it’s starting to get late. We can always come back another time. Plus Fate-mama is waiting at home for us.”
The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, puffing her cheeks out as she shook her head to stand by her original decision. As Nanoha tried to reason with her daughter, Yuuno couldn’t help but grin as she watched the little girl whose mannerisms reminded him so much of her mother.
“How about this Vivio,” he starts as he squats down next to Nanoha, “We’ll do one more ride. Any ride you want, okay?”
“Mou, Yuuno-kun. Are you sure?”
Before the librarian could respond, Vivio points her finger at a ride behind them.
“That one!”
Yuuno and Nanoha both rise and turn to look at what the girl was pointing at. Two pairs of eyes fell upon the large Ferris Wheel towering near the end of the park. With the sunlight slowly beginning to wane the giant wheel was lit up all over by bright lights, slowly spinning its passengers around in enclosed passenger pods. Finding herself unable to come up with any opposition to the proposed agreement, Nanoha straightens up and smiles.
“Alright. One more ride.”
Vivio lets out a cheer and grabs the adults’ hands as she excitedly makes her way to the ride. At the same time the pair wonders where she gets all this energy of hers from.
A short time later the trio finds themselves slowly rising from the ground in one of the silver pods. At one end of the pod Vivio kneels on the plastic seat with her hands pressed against the window. Green and red eyes gaze out over the brightly lit park rides and buildings slowly sinking as the wheel turns with curiosity and fascination. On the other end Nanoha and Yuuno sit next to each other and watch over the young girl.
‘Oh boy…I guess it’s now or never,’ he tells himself.
“Nanoha?”
The brunette turns her attention to the blonde boy, “Hm? What is it Yuuno-kun?”
“Erm…ah, Vivio has quite a family, huh?” he blurts out in nervousness.
“Yea, she does doesn’t she?” she says leaning back against the seat, “Fate-chan and I take care of her most of the time. Sometimes Hayate and her Knights watch her watch her when we’re busy with Bureau stuff. Now that I think about it, I think Vita-chan looks to her like an older sister although I doubt she’ll ever admit it.”
Nanoha giggles as she glances over at Vivio, “Maybe I should tell Vivio to start calling her ‘Nee-chan’ from now on.”
That got a chuckle from the young man, especially with the scene of the powerful Iron Knight blushing in embarrassment and stuttering denials floating around his mind.
“Yes, that would be interesting to see.”
“All the Forwards have some attachment to her before RF6 was disbanded. Even Chrono-kun can’t deny that he’s fond of Vivio with how he grins every time she calls him ‘Uncle Chrono.’”
“She does have that effect on people.”
Straightening himself up, Yuuno takes a deep breath to gather what courage he can.
“Ah, what would you say about me Nanoha?”
“Oh, you’ve also been a huge help. I feel kinda bad sometimes when I keep having to ask you to watch her,” she replies in a bit of embarrassment.
“Don’t worry about. I don’t mind at all, especially with all that’s been going on lately everyone’s been pretty busy. Although…”
“Although…?” she questions as she turns to look at him curiously.
He knew that there was no turning back now.
“I-I want to be there for you and Vivio, Nanoha. To be there when you need help,” he pauses as she stares back with her blue orbs waiting for him to continue, “What I mean to say is you, Vivio…would you…”
“Mama look!”
Both adults nearly fall out of their seat in surprise as Vivio jumps between them and points at the window she had come from. Nanoha is the first to recover from the slight scare.
“Look at what Vivio?”
As the young girl excitedly leads her mother over to the other window, Yuuno takes a moment to calm down. He leans back on the seat and watches Vivio excitedly point out different things outside to her smiling mother.
‘I guess now just wasn’t the right time, huh?’ he muses.
Although he was disappointed, he was also a bit glad that Vivio did what she did. He had known Nanoha for a long time and couldn’t deny that he liked her. There were probably others that could see it, but Hayate had always been the most open about encouraging him to ‘make his move’ as she would say.
Yet he was also worried about what would happen when he actually did ask her to go out with him. He knew what he felt, but he never could really tell how she felt towards him. She never really gave any signs of liking him, yet she also never gave any signs of not being against it either. If it meant ruining the friendship they had he didn’t want to risk it, but at the same time he won’t know until he tries.
“Mama, over there! So pretty~”
Yuuno smiles as he continues to watch the pair. There was no use to rush things. Sometimes it was better to just stand back and wait for the right moment. If it was meant to be he’ll wait for that moment. Until then he’ll be there for her as he was back then, watching her and protecting her in anyway he could.
I got 'volunteered' to write this up after they read GenerationS Chapter 1a :heh:
sounds good, even though I prefer NxF storys :)
edit:
after I read Satashi-samas Review of Road of Love, I think, I'll hide everything from him :heh:
ghazghkull
2008-01-23, 03:00
after I read Satashi-samas Review of Road of Love, I think, I'll hide everything from him :heh:
:twitch: don't remind me...that's still hampering my inspiration to write.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-23, 03:49
sounds good, even though I prefer NxF storys :)
edit:
after I read Satashi-samas Review of Road of Love, I think, I'll hide everything from him :heh:
:twitch: don't remind me...that's still hampering my inspiration to write.
Holy crap! :twitch:
That's not satashi's 5 cents, that's a full blown dollar and a half! :uhoh:
certainly, if you correct all that, you'd have a far better fic, but a wall of critique is still one hell of a inspiration killer... :upset:
...take it as a challenge to improve yourself, i'm pretty sure that's how she wanted to portray her critique, instead of the shotgun blast to the head as it came out. :heh:
:twitch: don't remind me...that's still hampering my inspiration to write.
I'm sorry to bring it back :(
-.-; Come on, it was just one person's look on it. There's NO reason to be so down about it or let it hinder you >< You don't have to change anything. Taking reviews like that with a grain of salt is something you'll have to get used to as an author. I'm sorry I bummed you out but while reviewing I always look at it from a neutral view as best I can so I can offer a little advice and just generally say things I thought or saw. It's saying a lot that I would go through the trouble of doing it. If you look at the reviews I leave I've only reviews like.....three...... Nanoha fics. I try to avoid it all together but yours was enough to make me honestly want to do it. Although, I know, it was a little harsh and straight forward I really hope you can look past that and see that your story was good enough to make someone who doesn't even really read fanfiction to take all that time and comment on it.
But still, it was only one person. Lots said they liked it. Take the bad with the good and get off your butt and write more :p
Holy crap! :twitch:
That's not satashi's 5 cents, that's a full blown dollar and a half! :uhoh:
more like three-fifty :heh:
Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T
For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech
Prologue: Aftermath
Beep….Beep….Beep…
It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.
He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the figure lying peacefully beneath the displays, wondering if there was any change. The figure showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’
Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’
As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.
He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.
“How is she?” they asked.
“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”
The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”
He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”
“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.
‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’
****
Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.
We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.
It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.
Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.
Liingo
Satashi, It'll get posted to FF.net shortly, once I figure out how to... and also once I've had the time to read through and catch any minor errors.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-23, 09:08
Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T
For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech
Prologue: Aftermath
Beep….Beep….Beep…
It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.
He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’
Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’
As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.
He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.
“How is she?” they asked.
“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”
The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”
He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”
“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.
‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’
****
Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.
We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.
It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.
Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.
Well, that certainly got my attention,
though i think that mentioning the sacrifice(s) causes a sort of "someone will definitely die" mentality that ruins a bit of the emotion in the actual death scene.
The implications that hayate got seriously injured, as did agito apparently, is enough to set suspense into the story...
...besides, a sudden death has greater shock value, than one that you're constantly waiting to happen.
Also, "a figure came around the corner" followed by "they asked"... wut? :p
...but it's only a personal opinion, so don't mind that, keep on writing. :D
Well, that certainly got my attention,
though i think that mentioning the sacrifice(s) causes a sort of "someone will definitely die" mentality that ruins a bit of the emotion in the actual death scene.
The implications that hayate got seriously injured, as did agito apparently, is enough to set suspense into the story...
...besides, a sudden death has creater shock value, than one that you're constantly waiting to happen.
Also, "a figure came around the corner" followed by "they asked"... wut? :p
...but it's only a personal opinion, so don't mind that, keep on writing. :D
Hmmm, you raise some good points there....
On the second part first, perhaps I could have worded that a bit more clearly... it was the figure coming around the corner that was asking the doctor.
About point of the sacrifice.... I'll have to look into seeing how I can change it. It's far too late here for me to be thinking straight tonight..:heh:
Thanks alot for the comments. Oh and don't expect the next part for at least a week.. or two...:uhoh:
Estavali
2008-01-23, 09:23
Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T
For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech
Prologue: Aftermath
Beep….Beep….Beep…
It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.
He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’
Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’
As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.
He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.
“How is she?” they asked.
“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”
The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”
He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”
“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.
‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’
****
Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.
We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.
It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.
Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.
Liingo
Satashi, It'll get posted to FF.net shortly, once I figure out how to... and also once I've had the time to read through and catch any minor errors.
Hmm.......
I hope rape isn't included in your plans, my friend....
And why are you always thinking about sexual violence, hmm, Estavali? Wash that filthy brain of yours, now!
This smells of heavy CC casualties, especially from the Yagami-ke. Not to mention some very serious mental breakdown.
More, please.
Aaron008R
2008-01-23, 09:27
Well, seems like some people in the OC thread want me to post this here, so...
A Day at the Amusement Park, a GenerationS side story
In the nearly clear, blue sky above the sun shined its warming rays as it passed its apex. The rays of warmth heated the surrounding air of the city below bursting with activity. Men and women milled around inside and out going about their daily business. Some sought out the refuge of the tall, air conditioned buildings. Others took advantage of the warm weather and spent the day out to take in some fresh air. The local amusement park was especially busy with the pleasant weather. Groups of friends gathered and milled about. Families of all sizes and relations wandered the park led on by smiling, eager children. There were also some mixes of the two groups enjoying a day at the park.
“Waaa~!”
One Vivio Takamachi took in the amazing sights around her with a mix of curiosity and wonder. Her mismatched eyes darted from ride of ride, from display to display as she almost skipped in joy on one of the many concrete paths. If she was able to have her own way, she would be running about from attraction to attraction. However her escorts on either side of her for the day preferred a more casual pace at the moment.
“Vivio, what would you like to ride first?” asked the young lady holding onto her hand on her left.
“Everything!” replied the young girl with a bright smile.
The young man on her right chuckled at her enthusiasm.
“Well, I don’t think we can ride them all at once, Vivio.”
That caused Vivio to pause her current train of thought and ponder for a moment. She placed a finger from her free hand on her chin as her eyes wandered upwards in what appeared to be deep thought. A short moment passed before she excitedly pointed at the Merry-Go-Round.
“That one Nanoha-mama!”
“Alright. Let’s go!” exclaimed Nanoha Takamachi, the famed Ace of Aces (as well as infamous White Devil) of the TSAB, as she smiled down at her adopted daughter.
The heterochromatic girl giggled in excitement as she sprinted towards the selected ride, dragging her mother along side her hand in hand. From the rear, head librarian of the TSAB Infinity Library Yuuno Scrya couldn’t hold back the wide smile as he watched the two run off.
“Yuuno-kun~! Hurry up!” called back Nanoha as she tried to keep up with her daughter.
“Coming,” he called back, breaking into a jog to catch up to the pair.
With the large crowds that day, the majority of the rides were fairly busy. Lines at the more popular attractions had several hour waits as people continued to pile into the robed-off areas. The Merry-Go-Round was no exception as the pair stood in line. Nanoha glanced around her to find her friend sitting down on one of the nearby benches positioned around the ride area.
“Eh? What are you doing over there, Yuuno-kun?”
The blonde-haired young man lifted the camera that was resting around his neck and gestured to it, “You two go on. It’d be harder to get good pictures if I was right next to you.”
“Mou…are you sure?” remarked the brunette with a slight frown.
“I’m sure, Nanoha,” he replied with a laugh, “Besides, the signs say they only allow one adult to be standing per child and she is your daughter.”
“Oh, fine. You had better get some good pictures then, you silly ferret.”
“I will, I promise.”
A tug on her arm brought Nanoha’s attention to the girl besides her as she knelt down to answer some question she had. From the bench, Yuuno leaned back and watched the mother-daughter pair with a smile. He had known the famous mage for over a decade now. In a way, all of this was his fault.
‘No that wasn’t right,’ he corrected himself, ‘I was the catalyst that started a journey and an adventure.’
The line moved at a fairly quick pace due to the large capacity of the Merry-Go-Round and its rather short duration compared to most other rides. Based on his estimates, they would only have to wait another two sets of people before it would be their turn. He sets the camera down on his lap and allows his mind to wander while he waits.
‘Nanoha…a very close and dear friend to me that I’ve known since the beginning of, well, all of this. We’ve been through thick and thin together in those two Lost Logia incidents. It’s still rather odd how it all turned out back then,’ he chuckles, ‘To think that she would be the one to pick up where I failed and push forward to collect the remaining Jewel Seeds. And out of her own resolve to help me, too. At first I felt guilty for throwing all this on her shoulders, but when she scolded me and wanted to it for herself to help…’
His eyes blink as he straightens up and scan over the line looking for where they were. They were now closer to the front, but still at least one set of people away. It looked like Vivio was asking her mother some questions to which Nanoha was happily replying if the bright smile on her face was any sign. The sight of mother and daughter smiling was too much as a smile crept up on Yuuno’s lips.
‘Yes, I think it was then that I began treating Nanoha more as a friend rather than a partner. Back then I was still young and naïve, but now I think about it that was probably when I started to fall for that girl whose smile and determination could surpass extraordinary odds.’
The large group of people exiting the ride brought him back to reality. Picking up the camera, he scans the circular ride for the pair. Even with the mass of people wandering looking for an open spot he manages to pick out the brunette and her rather unique off-centered ponytail on the outer ring of the ride. He watches as she helps Vivio up onto the ornate horse. The little girl smiles and giggles as she grips the pole running through the seat. Behind her Nanoha rests one hand protectively on her waist, just in case.
Yuuno hefts the camera up and peers through the viewfinder as the bell in the center rings announcing the start of the ride. The platform begins its slow rotation with music pouring from the numerous speakers in the ceiling. He centers and snaps a few shots of Vivio as she smiles even brighter with the horse slowly bobbing up and down. They pass out of view for a moment, allowing him to set the camera down to rest his arms before coming back around. This time he zooms out to get a few shots of the pair passing by smiling happily.
As he snaps the last photo for the rotation, Yuuno’s mind wanders a bit to the older woman in the photo. Having known her since she was nine, he’s had the opportunity to watch as she developed and matured over the years. From that little, energetic girl she had grown to be a stunning woman with an incredible track record with the TSAB, her career practically set for her.
‘Her figure had also filled out quite nicely, too. Not to mention how great she looks in that skirt…’
He quickly coughs, trying to clear that train of thought from his mind. It was well known throughout the TSAB of the three Aces from the Non-Administered world and their spectacular feats from the young age of nine with no prior knowledge of magic or formal training (with the exception of Fate). Over the past few years their stunning beauty and continuing single status also became fairly well known. Many men, from recruits to high-ranking officers, tried their hand at attempting to court one of the famed Aces only to be turned down. Some had compared the chances to dating one of them to taking them on one-on-one with no limiters and no attack restrictions. This comparison had also kept many from even trying in the first place, yet some still tried their luck now and then.
Setting the camera down on his lap, Yuuno recalls what Hayate had told him before they left for the park.
“Can we talk for a bit, Yuuno-kun?” Hayate spoke audibly, winking in Nanoha’s direction.
“Uh… Sure…” Yuuno glanced at Nanoha.
Nanoha paused in confusion, but then shrugged and said, “Alright. Don’t be late, Yuuno-kun~!” before running off after Vivio.
Hayate dragged him around a bit before settling behind a wall. She stood up straightly with her hands akimbo, a confident smile on her face.
Yuuno pushed up his glasses nervously, “What did you want to talk about, Hayate?”
“So you’ve finally made a first move, huh, Yuuno-kun?”
“But…” Yuuno sighed, “Like we said, it’s just a-Wha?!” he jolted as Hayate’s finger was pointed directly at his nose.
“Whatever it is, you must do your best so as not to disappoint Nanoha-chan,” Hayate warned him with one eye closed, her other hand rose to form an encouraging fist, “Okay?”
‘The first move, huh?’ he mentally sighs.
While the others had never said anything about it, Hayate had been the one to confront him about the ‘status’ between Nanoha and himself. As much as tried to deny any romantic interest in the girl, he knew that it was a lie and he was also lying to himself. He had given her a lot of space when she first started her TSAB career so she could find her calling. The atrocious lack of organization in the Infinity Library had also kept him quite busy at the same time. Now, however she’s an instructor for the new TSAB recruits and plans on remaining such as her refusals of promotions after the Cradle Incident have shown. Not to mention that she has a daughter to look after.
‘Perhaps now would be the best time to give into Hayate’s urgings…,’ he ponders.
The lack of music and rise in voices breaks his train of thought. He instinctively stands and looks around for the pair from the crowded ride’s exit. A slender hand waving above the sea of heads catches his eye. Moments later the trio is reunited by the bench with Vivio giggling happily between the two adults.
“Mama! Mama! Let’s go on another one!” she urges while tugging on Nanoha’s arm.
Nanoha nods, taking a moment to look around at the sea of people around the park.
“Alright. Which one do you want to ride?”
The young girl grins and takes off running down one of the paths. With her hand still locked with her daughters, Nanoha had no choice but to keep up behind the excited bundle of energy the best she could. Behind them Yuuno couldn’t help but laugh as he watched the ‘great’ Ace of Aces being dragged along by a little girl. It definitely was quite an unusual sight.
As the daylight slowly faded away, the trio would ride several more of the attractions, with Vivio promptly dragging them off to the next one with an excited look on her face. Now the sun was nearing the end of its journey across the sky for that day. A spectrum of reds and yellows replaced the lively blue sky. Many groups had already left the park for the day to either make their way home or find a place to eat. The slowly thinning crowds and dimming sky was not lost to the two adults.
“It’s starting to get late, Nanoha. We should probably start heading out soon before we get stuck in the rush out.”
The brunette nods in agreement, “That would be a good idea. Come on, Vivio. Let’s head home.”
Vivio, however, had other ideas.
“No! I don’t want to…,” she complained.
Both adults sighed softly, having realized that this was probably the reaction they would get from the girl. Nanoha knelt before Vivio and placed her hands on her shoulders.
“Vivio, it’s starting to get late. We can always come back another time. Plus Fate-mama is waiting at home for us.”
The little girl crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, puffing her cheeks out as she shook her head to stand by her original decision. As Nanoha tried to reason with her daughter, Yuuno couldn’t help but grin as she watched the little girl whose mannerisms reminded him so much of her mother.
“How about this Vivio,” he starts as he squats down next to Nanoha, “We’ll do one more ride. Any ride you want, okay?”
“Mou, Yuuno-kun. Are you sure?”
Before the librarian could respond, Vivio points her finger at a ride behind them.
“That one!”
Yuuno and Nanoha both rise and turn to look at what the girl was pointing at. Two pairs of eyes fell upon the large Ferris Wheel towering near the end of the park. With the sunlight slowly beginning to wane the giant wheel was lit up all over by bright lights, slowly spinning its passengers around in enclosed passenger pods. Finding herself unable to come up with any opposition to the proposed agreement, Nanoha straightens up and smiles.
“Alright. One more ride.”
Vivio lets out a cheer and grabs the adults’ hands as she excitedly makes her way to the ride. At the same time the pair wonders where she gets all this energy of hers from.
A short time later the trio finds themselves slowly rising from the ground in one of the silver pods. At one end of the pod Vivio kneels on the plastic seat with her hands pressed against the window. Green and red eyes gaze out over the brightly lit park rides and buildings slowly sinking as the wheel turns with curiosity and fascination. On the other end Nanoha and Yuuno sit next to each other and watch over the young girl.
‘Oh boy…I guess it’s now or never,’ he tells himself.
“Nanoha?”
The brunette turns her attention to the blonde boy, “Hm? What is it Yuuno-kun?”
“Erm…ah, Vivio has quite a family, huh?” he blurts out in nervousness.
“Yea, she does doesn’t she?” she says leaning back against the seat, “Fate-chan and I take care of her most of the time. Sometimes Hayate and her Knights watch her watch her when we’re busy with Bureau stuff. Now that I think about it, I think Vita-chan looks to her like an older sister although I doubt she’ll ever admit it.”
Nanoha giggles as she glances over at Vivio, “Maybe I should tell Vivio to start calling her ‘Nee-chan’ from now on.”
That got a chuckle from the young man, especially with the scene of the powerful Iron Knight blushing in embarrassment and stuttering denials floating around his mind.
“Yes, that would be interesting to see.”
“All the Forwards have some attachment to her before RF6 was disbanded. Even Chrono-kun can’t deny that he’s fond of Vivio with how he grins every time she calls him ‘Uncle Chrono.’”
“She does have that effect on people.”
Straightening himself up, Yuuno takes a deep breath to gather what courage he can.
“Ah, what would you say about me Nanoha?”
“Oh, you’ve also been a huge help. I feel kinda bad sometimes when I keep having to ask you to watch her,” she replies in a bit of embarrassment.
“Don’t worry about. I don’t mind at all, especially with all that’s been going on lately everyone’s been pretty busy. Although…”
“Although…?” she questions as she turns to look at him curiously.
He knew that there was no turning back now.
“I-I want to be there for you and Vivio, Nanoha. To be there when you need help,” he pauses as she stares back with her blue orbs waiting for him to continue, “What I mean to say is you, Vivio…would you…”
“Mama look!”
Both adults nearly fall out of their seat in surprise as Vivio jumps between them and points at the window she had come from. Nanoha is the first to recover from the slight scare.
“Look at what Vivio?”
As the young girl excitedly leads her mother over to the other window, Yuuno takes a moment to calm down. He leans back on the seat and watches Vivio excitedly point out different things outside to her smiling mother.
‘I guess now just wasn’t the right time, huh?’ he muses.
Although he was disappointed, he was also a bit glad that Vivio did what she did. He had known Nanoha for a long time and couldn’t deny that he liked her. There were probably others that could see it, but Hayate had always been the most open about encouraging him to ‘make his move’ as she would say.
Yet he was also worried about what would happen when he actually did ask her to go out with him. He knew what he felt, but he never could really tell how she felt towards him. She never really gave any signs of liking him, yet she also never gave any signs of not being against it either. If it meant ruining the friendship they had he didn’t want to risk it, but at the same time he won’t know until he tries.
“Mama, over there! So pretty~”
Yuuno smiles as he continues to watch the pair. There was no use to rush things. Sometimes it was better to just stand back and wait for the right moment. If it was meant to be he’ll wait for that moment. Until then he’ll be there for her as he was back then, watching her and protecting her in anyway he could.
I got 'volunteered' to write this up after they read GenerationS Chapter 1a :heh:
FieryAeon and Tormenk were right in picking you!:D:D:D I loved how they interacted and reading Yuuno's reflections!:D The insert from my fic got me surprised though.:heh: Thanks for doing it!:D:D:D
Got struck by the hammer of inspiration today and have started writing a new fic. Figured I better at least get some of it down first. Hopefully this'll make me want to get a move on with my OC work, which has been stalled for over a month now.. T__T
For people who haven't read any of my works before,
' ~ ' = thoughts
" ~ " = speech
Prologue: Aftermath
Beep….Beep….Beep…
It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.
He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’
Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’
As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.
He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.
“How is she?” they asked.
“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”
The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”
He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”
“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.
‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’
****
Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.
We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.
It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.
Comments, critiques welcome since this is my first attempt at just using canon characters as the focus to the story.
Liingo
Satashi, It'll get posted to FF.net shortly, once I figure out how to... and also once I've had the time to read through and catch any minor errors.
Sorry, but your warning in the OC thread piqued my interest.:p I'm glad I read it though.;) The premise is very interesting. Though :upset::upset::upset: at the damage. Will wait for more. XD
Hmm.......
I hope rape isn't included in your plans, my friend....
And why are you always thinking about sexual violence, hmm, Estavali? Wash that filthy brain of yours, now!
This smells of heavy CC casualties, especially from the Yagami-ke. Not to mention some very serious mental breakdown.
More, please.
No, no rape..... that's an issue that I'd like to not touch at all for a good number of years if even at that.
Like I said... it might take a while..:heh:
Sorry, but your warning in the OC thread piqued my interest.:p I'm glad I read it though.;) The premise is very interesting. Though :upset::upset::upset: at the damage. Will wait for more. XD
:heh: The damage is bad, but worse things happen in the fic outline that's in my head.
Now to just take the outline and write it up in such a manner that people know what's going on.
Prologue: Aftermath
Beep….Beep….Beep…
It was a sparse room, lightly furnished, designed for ease of access. A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there. All of them had met her personally at one stage or another during their careers, a meeting that had changed them all for the better.
He entered the door closing behind him silently until it hit the wall with a muffled thud. He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. ‘Well, it’s still early days after all. Given the extent of her injuries, it’s a small miracle that she’s alive at all.’
Bathed in the soft green glow of the displays, she looked a hundred times better than how she had looked when she arrived early in the morning. It was nowhere near her true condition, but the vision of her there bathed in such a glow gave him hope that the danger had passed, at least for the moment. A team of doctors and surgeons had worked for nearly half the day, even with the times where breaks had to be taken for fresh nurses to come in and take over. She was out of the worse of it, but time would tell how well she would recover. ‘And even if she does recover physically, none of us are sure whether she is going to be able to live on after what has happened.’
As he moved closer to the bed, the faint hiss of the ventilator could be heard. It was but one of a slew of devices that surrounded her. Satisfied that the devices were all functioning correctly, he doubled checked that all the catheters were firmly secured, before pulling the cover further up her body. He turned away from her after uttering a short prayer over her, heading for the door. If anyone had been watching, the glow of the devices would have revealed the tears flowing down his face.
He made sure that the door closed softly as he exited the room. ‘Time to get some rest, I’ll be glad once this night is over.’ As he made to move away from the patient’s room, a figure came around the corner.
“How is she?” they asked.
“As good as can be expected by one in her position. Better in fact. I’ve never dealt with injuries like these but some of the others have remarked that she’s a good few hours ahead of what they’ve experienced in these cases.”
The tension in the figure facing him eased considerably, “It’s going to ok right, she’d going to get better?”
He scratched the back of his head, “Well it looks good so far, I can’t make any guarantees though. Can you please get some rest now; you’re in no position yourself to be up at this hour, not with those injuries.”
“She’s going to live. No matter what. Their sacrifice is not going to be in vein.” With that they headed back in the direction of their room.
‘I hope you’re right. I really hope you do.’
****
Pain coursed through Agito’s body as she finally made it back to her room. Despite her bravado, the possibility that she wouldn’t make it was ever present in the back of her mind. While the doctor was correct that letting her body rest and recover was the best thing to do, what had happened kept playing in her mind, preventing her from getting to sleep.
We are the Wolkenritter, sworn guardians of the Mistress of the Night Sky. Death to those that attempt to harm her. Seeing that she has been hurt already, I’ll just have to make sure you have a fate worse than death.
this has a great start... it's easy to follow, the suspense kept throughout. I like that the end part had Agito... but, some dark times ahead it seems... hope you write more soon. it was an evil place to stop and not have more to read.
just two very small things in the first two paragraphs
EDIT:
A cluster of displays hovered in the air just over the centre line of the room. It didn’t matter that the information that they displayed was available elsewhere, just that those who were in charge of the room felt more comfortable with them there <--- repetition. could just leave out the second "of the room"
He looked up hopefully towards the centre of the room, wondering if there was any change. The figure in the centre of the room showed no sign of having heard the door. <--repetition. could use "on the bed" or something else.
no big deal, just that it's a little distracting when the same phrases/words get used too often or too close together. (just me being picky)
Ryand-Smith
2008-01-23, 11:06
I go to study, and I find all of this large ammount of NanohaXFate, Sigum and Shamal, and other assorted Fanfictions! I feel very happy, and in my next post, I'll have to start commenting
Ryand-Smith
2008-01-23, 11:25
Comment 1. Our Mistress. Its a nice look from the point of view of The Meisters, and the end scene gives me vibes almost like Hostel, or the propagation scene in the movie Pulp fiction. Its a well done preview for the background, and later scenes. Tell me, is Signum going to start... breaking the target?
Comment The Second. A Day at the Amusement Park. I was wondering if someone could use Vivo as a central binding force in a story, and you have made me happy to say, proved me right. The relationship between Yuuno and Nanoha seems how it should logically develop, conceding how close they were in A's and MGLN, The addition of Vivo makes it have the daily recommended amount of moeblob, not to much, and its... so damn.. cute..
Comment III ghazghkull's mini story
Oh fuck, its so good... I mean Vivio with both Zamber form and Raging Heart... I must find a artist... And the story seems like a nice summary of what I hope 7arcs does with Vivo's Character
Comment Quatre
Satashi's Mini Story
More Nanoha X Fate. I wasn't a shipper when I started with StrikerS (Subaru FTW!) but now I have been converted to Legion... We are many, after all, and its nice fluff. Always a good thing
Ryand-Smith
2008-01-23, 11:26
Under the orange glow of the setting sun, people mingled about the end of their day of work. For some work was just about to begin for the evening shift. People talked and mingled about here and there, carrying on their normal routines in spite of the mysterious disappearances that had started to make the news. It was but a small abnormality in the larger world, our world. To them on the other hand, it was normal. It was survival.
IT, like the others of its kind, watched the humans mingle about, completely oblivious to its presence. IT didn't mind, as there was no way they could notice it anyway. They were its prey, its food.
From the clean glass plane IT watched and waited. There were too many around that would cause a commotion should it feast now. IT would wait until it could grab one without being noticed so as not to scare the food away from the hunting grounds.
The creature's patience would soon be rewarded as the crowds thinned as the bus departed from the now empty stop. A lone salary man made his way to the stop, oblivious to the danger around him. Yes, now was the time to strike. IT would soon have a well deserved meal. From the glass IT carefully reached out into our world towards the man. IT licked its lips in anticipation of the meal it was about to catch...
WHAM
IT stumbled back from the glass in its world as pain coursed through its stomach. Something had hit it. Hard. But that was impossible! Prey couldn't see IT when it reached into the prey's world. There was no way...
WHAM
Another blow sends the creature rolling across the floor, breaking its thoughts. IT stands quickly and steels itself to face its attacker. A quick scan of the area locates a lone figure standing where IT once stood by the glass. The attacker wore a white blouse and black skirt. Long hair was tied neatly into an off-centered ponytail.
A HUMAN?! Prey in its world?! Impossible! The only prey that came here were to be eaten. None could come under their own abilities. Unless...the rumors. IT had heard of rumors being passed amongst its kind.
The female held a black container in her hand. It looked like it was open at one end with a simple red orb set on one of the sides. She also wore...a belt? Why hadn't IT noticed noticed the large, silver belt before? The rumors! No! They couldn't be true!
She stared back into its inhuman eyes and said one word.
"Henshin."
With a quick arm movement, the black container slammed into the odd looking belt with a click...and glowed. IT had to cover its eyes from the light that emitted from the prey for a brief moment. Lowering its arms, IT took a step back. Gone was the female prey that had attacked it. Instead stood the things from the rumors. A creature of humanoid form covered in white armor. Blue stripes highlighted the armor sections on the body with blue gauntlets on the arms. Red, orval gems decorated the shoulders and boots. A white mask with large, blue almost bug-like orbs for eyes completed the outfit. An all too familiar belt was wrapped around its waist.
There was no doubt in its mind now. This was the thing from the rumors, the things that sought to destroy IT and its kind. The beings known to them only as Riders.
[/QUOTE]
Riders? In my Nanoha! Lords of Kobol I am going to die from the sheer amount of Awesome today
arkhangelsk
2008-01-23, 12:03
It's quite short I know, but I think it's a good place to leave it for now. It could probably be a little longer if I had a bit more description, but I'm happy with the lenght at the moment for it.
Frankly I hate this kind of setup. They leave me going WTF. Mostly I prefer the chronological style of storytelling, not the "Let's do Ep10, then jump back to Ep1" kind of storytelling.
Not your fault though - the writing is OK (my sensitivity only really allows for two reliable grades here, Pass and Fail, so for all I could tell you could have gotten a 80), so tell me when you've written Ch1, and I'll read the two together and probably enjoy it.
SpaceBrotha
2008-01-23, 12:25
Frankly I hate this kind of setup. They leave me going WTF. Mostly I prefer the chronological style of storytelling, not the "Let's do Ep10, then jump back to Ep1" kind of storytelling.
Not your fault though - the writing is OK (my sensitivity only really allows for two reliable grades here, Pass and Fail, so for all I could tell you could have gotten a 80), so tell me when you've written Ch1, and I'll read the two together and probably enjoy it.
err... it's more like "let's give a teaser/trailer of things to come and then start the story for real", and not something out of haruhi where someone scrambled the entire timeline...
Personally i find it grasps the audiences/readers attention far better this way, and gives the author leeway for writing some boring parts and explanations without losing focus of the audience right away...
krisslanza
2008-01-23, 12:32
I heard something about rape... :uhoh: That again falls into my category. At least in No.47's past anyway... :eyespin: I'll peek at that writing in a bit (Having to catch up on stuff right now) and see what everyone is all saying about "damage". No one seems to react that much to the fact in Arc-en-Ciel the capital city of Mid-Childa is a massive wasteland more or less :heh:
ghazghkull
2008-01-23, 12:39
wow...I go to bed and this is what I get....the basically a whole new page of confusion...
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