View Full Version : The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]
Well, he said he only had 48 hours (or something along those lines) left to live if chibi-Mitsuuru didn't return to their reality, and that was back on day 4 or 5. If this is going for 26 days, I think that quite exceeds his 48 hour window.
...I believee what Kaisos didn't quite understood was taht "Mitsuru(XL)"="Future Mitsuru". :heh:
What does 'XL' mean anyway?
What does 'XL' mean anyway?(E)Xtra Large, you never buy clothing, or something?
(E)Xtra Large, you never buy clothing, or something?
Uh, not in US. :heh:
(besides, I really don't buy cloths, I receive so many f then as birthday and Christmas gift that I hardly need more. :p)
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-20, 16:26
Well, he said he only had 48 hours (or something along those lines) left to live if chibi-Mitsuuru didn't return to their reality, and that was back on day 4 or 5. If this is going for 26 days, I think that quite exceeds his 48 hour window.
Ah, I see what you're getting at.
Well, there's a simple solution to BM's problem. What do you think it is?
Ah, I see what you're getting at.
Well, there's a simple solution to BM's problem. What do you think it is?I'm going with Time Travel.
Ah, I see what you're getting at.
Well, there's a simple solution to BM's problem. What do you think it is?
Well, I know you mentioned a reset button before, so I'm guessing that. "He died, but he got better." However, he comes across like such a dick that I want to see him die.
I'm going with Time Travel.
I'll second that.
Mmm... Creative and practical use of time travel... That will be refreshing to see.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-20, 16:51
-_-
If BM is being slowly destroyed because his younger self is in another dimension, what would the logical solution to the problem be?
-_-
If BM is being slowly destroyed because his younger self is in another dimension, what would the logical solution to the problem be?
Let him die?
(I know the answer you're looking for is for one of them to go to the dimension where the other is, but I prefer this way.)
-_-
If BM is being slowly destroyed because his younger self is in another dimension, what would the logical solution to the problem be?
If you are suggesting that BM is able to cure himself by either going to the main universe or retrieving his younger self, then I really hope you've put a lot of thought into how to justify it. Causality as it has been explained in the series so far would not support that actually working.
The thing is, that isn't how BM remembers things happening, so he and LM are no longer connected. LM is no longer BM's past. If you try to justify it by saying LM can be mind-wiped of the events afterward, that would not explain why BM was deteriorating in the first place.
Or is it just going to be that causality has been really screwed up by what is happening, so nobody has to pay attention to it anymore?
DJ_RockmanX
2009-11-20, 17:05
-_-
If BM is being slowly destroyed because his younger self is in another dimension, what would the logical solution to the problem be?
Methinks you're oversimplifying it a bit much. But we won't have to worry about this until you get to that part anyway.
Stormwhite
2009-11-20, 17:06
I read what it was somewhere, I forget where. I won't spoil it for the rest of you though :P
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-20, 17:06
The thing is, that isn't how BM remembers things happening, so he and LM are no longer connected. LM is no longer BM's past. If you try to justify it by saying LM can be mind-wiped of the events afterward, that would not explain why BM was deteriorating in the first place.
LM now exists outside of his original timestream completely, which is why BM is deteriorating in the first place: Paradox is destroying him. He no longer HAS a past.
He's somewhat shielded from this due to the odd mechanics of time planes, his status as a time traveler, and his own will to survive.
If BM somehow moves to the main universe, he, too, will no longer exist in his original timestream... and be a distinct individual completely separate from his younger self, now bound to the timeline of the main universe.
This will STOP the deterioration, though it will not reverse it.
Does this make some kind of sense? I can change it if need be.
Or is it just going to be that causality has been really screwed up by what is happening, so nobody has to pay attention to it anymore?
Sort of, actually: BM even makes this point: Suzumiya is Anti-Causality itself. (Of course, that's assuming that what happened was the doing of a Suzumiya in the first place.)
Although, really, I don't have to pay attention to causality because of the nature of visual novels. I'll leave it up to you guys to figure out what that means. It's always nice to justify things, though.
Methinks you're oversimplifying it a bit much. But we won't have to worry about this until you get to that part anyway.
Hmm? How so?
If BM somehow moves to the main universe, he, too, will no longer exist in his original timestream... and be a distinct individual completely separate from his younger self, now bound to the timeline of the main universe.
This will STOP the deterioration, though it will not reverse it.
Does this make some kind of sense? I can change it if need be.
Yep, makes sense! :) I'm satisfied.
Sort of, actually: BM even makes this point: Suzumiya is Anti-Causality itself. (Of course, that's assuming that what happened was the doing of a Suzumiya in the first place.)
And then we find out that Aebliss's story is actually canonical for the VN and Makuro is messing with people for the LOLs. Or something.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-20, 18:01
And then we find out that Aebliss's story is actually canonical for the VN and Makuro is messing with people for the LOLs. Or something.
I refuse to use OCs beyond plot devices like Director Koizumi, even if they are awesome. :heh:
I refuse to use OCs beyond plot devices like Director Koizumi, even if they are awesome. :heh:
We could use as a cameo, somehow. She is awesome, after all. :p
dragon4dudes
2009-11-21, 22:50
How about in an extra that after completing some route or other requirement the player gets to unlock a scene with her in it?
And this is weird, a full day without activity? What's wrong with this world?
Selofain
2009-11-21, 23:08
Plenty. But not in my world. So now that my workload is considerably lightened until finals week, howzabouts throwing summa dem artwork at me to work at? Is there artwork for me to work on?
In completely unrelated news, I see that we've won the Big Game.
P.S. Microsoft Word doesn't underline Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. But Firefox does. Firefox fail.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-21, 23:40
Makuro looks exactly like Kyonko. Giving Kyonko an outfit like hers(and actually coming up with a decent reason for it) would be enough to count as a reference, and not completely confuse people unfamiliar with the Setsubun story.
Plenty. But not in my world. So now that my workload is considerably lightened until finals week, howzabouts throwing summa dem artwork at me to work at? Is there artwork for me to work on?
Unfortunately, not a whole lot at the moment. I'm alive, but haven't been able to really sit down and draw lately. We also haven't really discussed in-depth file size, types, colors and everything else that's supposed to belong in a design bible. All these things should probably be figured out sooner rather than later so that everyone's on the same page. Everyone who works on outlining characters needs to know at what thickness the lines must be, and those doing colors need to be working off the same palette so that all uniforms are... well... uniform. When I get some time, I'll try discussing these things with Danchou, Kaisos, and Heatth.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-23, 14:16
I won't be around a lot this week, since I have several essays due, but I think I can have something written up for the VN tonight. Just so you all know.
There will be a lot more updates in December when I'm out of school and have more time...
Nanao-kun
2009-11-24, 18:02
I won't be around a lot this week, since I have several essays due, but I think I can have something written up for the VN tonight. Just so you all know.
There will be a lot more updates in December when I'm out of school and have more time...
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/7294/stilllovekaisos.jpg (http://img52.imageshack.us/i/stilllovekaisos.jpg/)
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-24, 18:11
SOMETHING TONIGHT.
I promise.
ALSO IT WOULD BE GREAT IF I HAD SOME ART TO MOTIVATE ME
ALSO MUSIC
Just sayin'.
I recommend you listen to a lot of Queen.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-24, 18:47
I recommend you listen to a lot of Queen.
I meant, you know, PEOPLE MAKING MUSIC FOR THE VN, because REGARDLESS OF WHAT DANCHOU THINKS, we're going to need good presentation if we want to attract more people to this.
I think we should just do Day Zero, start to finish, as a pre-demo release to draw in interest. We need more people working on this thing if we EVER want to release ANYTHING.
Also I think I should listen to TMBG instead.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-24, 19:29
At the SAME TIME.
Yes there should be a demo of the game XD downloadable to get more people to be interested in the project
dragon4dudes
2009-11-24, 21:10
And this is going where?
Stupid open-ended questions.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-24, 21:20
At least it's going somewhere. This place was dead for over 24 hours. :heh:
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs51/i/2009/328/a/9/Brigade_Chief___Subordinate_by_Mul.jpg
WORK HARDER KAISOS
OR HARUHISTARE WILL GET YOU
I just... wow. I think that broke me.
I'd like to say I'll get some more edits done soon... and I might, but if I do, it'll be as a stress break from the ohgodmypresentationisnextweekandIstillhaven'tfinis hedmygoddamnpaper.
what the hell i'm doing edits to relax i'm screwed aren't i?
So, um... yeah. Oh, I never commented on that last scene, did I? It was good. I liked seeing the narrative of the Suzumiya life as told by Haruki. It helped me get a much better feel for exactly how you were planning him out, Kaisos.
SgtHydra
2009-11-25, 00:16
I just... wow. I think that broke me.
I'd like to say I'll get some more edits done soon... and I might, but if I do, it'll be as a stress break from the ohgodmypresentationisnextweekandIstillhaven'tfinis hedmygoddamnpaper.
what the hell i'm doing edits to relax i'm screwed aren't i?
So, um... yeah. Oh, I never commented on that last scene, did I? It was good. I liked seeing the narrative of the Suzumiya life as told by Haruki. It helped me get a much better feel for exactly how you were planning him out, Kaisos.
I'd like seeing this just for the heck of it.
I mean Haruhi is pretty easy to go by... being original flavor and all...
But to me, and perhaps a few others I suppose, Haruki seems little more than a Kamina expy.
Be better if it were more than that.
So yeah... short story request second'd.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-25, 00:37
I'd like seeing this just for the heck of it.
I mean Haruhi is pretty easy to go by... being original flavor and all...
But to me, and perhaps a few others I suppose, Haruki seems little more than a Kamina expy.
Be better if it were more than that.
So yeah... short story request second'd.
Eh. You did read the last scene, right? :heh:
It's pretty much a short fanfic, if you take out the CourierText, and, in fact, that was the form I originally wrote it in.
He's not just a Kamina expy... that's an mask he puts on.
There's a reason we kept the name "Melancholy"...
But Kamina had faith in Simon because he had no faith in himself. He may have been manly, but he was also insecure underneath. So... yeah. It wasn't as important to the plot, but he was melancholic in his own way.
Granted, they are still quite different. Kamina is insecure about himself, Haruki is bored with everyone else.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-25, 01:52
The only reason Haruki doesn't have that aspect is because Mitsuuru is the closest he has to a Simon, and... well, you know. :heh:
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-25, 03:01
The only reason Haruki doesn't have that aspect is because Mitsuuru is the closest he has to a Simon, and... well, you know. :heh:
Haruki is also much, much more, uh, "secure in his sexuality" than Kamina ever was. In fact, Kamina was a homophobe... now, put Haruki and Leeron in a room together, and...
Actually, that's a very amusing idea.
A Glorious Day
Kyon: Uggh…. Hurts…
My head’s pounding… I think I hit it on something. …My chair, maybe?
Kyon: Ow!
I bang my head trying to get up. My chair, definitely my chair.
The world swims as my eyes fill with tears.
As they clear, I note that my clock reads 1:30. That means… I was out for an hour!
Damn these evil, possessed headphones! These are the Headphones of Mephistopheles!
I’m about to take them off when I realize that would be a very, very bad idea. The minute they so much as went near my ears I fell unconscious. …And I don’t want to experience whatever I dreamed about again.
I get the feeling it was about something terrifying familiar… but I’m not going to think about that.
Instead I’m going to go outside and enjoy this glorious and beautiful day.
I’m going to go outside and not think about anything bothersome at all.
…The only question is, where should I go?
…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
IF Tanzaku=True AND HaruhiConvo=True THEN
1) Didn’t Haruhi say she was going on a ‘search’ by herself…?
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
IF ItsukoConvo=True AND ItsukiConvo=True THEN
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
IF RoutesClear>=4 AND MissingShoes=False THEN
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
ELSE
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
Flagless “H”
I guess I’ll just go for a walk around town, then.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
Now, what to do…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
[Note: Various backgrounds of the city should flash by here.]
I walked around all afternoon, but nothing happened. I did see Haruhi off in the distance once, but I cleverly hid behind a bush so that she wouldn’t notice me.
…I’m tired and it’s time for dinner. I think I’ll just go home.
Flagless “I”
Curse these headphones. Screw Haruhi, if I can get rid of them I will.
…I wonder how much they’d sell for?
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
Now, where was that record store?
[Scene: Record Store]
The young clerk working there didn’t respond until I tapped him hard on the shoulder, since apparently he had been thinking about some girl who had been in there earlier. What are these people paid for, exactly?
He took one look at the xPod and said that there was no way it could be resold, what with the paint… I expected that, and fortunately it isn’t the whole problem.
…Of course, I had to get the headphones off before I could examine them… which meant slowly sliding them off my neck backwards, and twisting my arm around my head.
Stop staring.
Of course, as the headphones were also damaged, he said he couldn’t resell them, either. Too bad, he said, since they were worth more than the xPod itself.
Dammit, Haruhi! Some extra pocket money would have been nice!
…I’m tired and it’s getting late. I think I’ll just go home.
…It would probably be safer to keep these in my pocket.
Flagless “K”
Why don’t I go to the library? There’ve been a couple books I’ve been interested in reading for a while now, anyway.
Maybe I can discuss literature with Nagato… or not.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Library]
After a bit of searching, I found a couple copies of the big, foreign novels Nagato likes to read, and settled down in a chair to read.
When I woke up, the library was closing.
Those chairs certainly are comfortable… it’s about time for dinner.
Guess I’ll just head home.
Refer to flowchart for how this works. :heh:
I'll be doing the Haruhi subscenes first, so look forward to that.
I know this is short, I'm sorry, I am very, very tired.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-25, 03:06
More fridge talk, huh? :p
And then we find out that Aebliss's story is actually canonical for the VN and Makuro is messing with people for the LOLs. Or something.
I refuse to use OCs beyond plot devices like Director Koizumi, even if they are awesome. :heh:
We could use as a cameo, somehow. She is awesome, after all. :p
Awww, I've been gone this long, and people still love my story that much? ^^ Thanks, guys. Now I'm going to have to finish it soon.
SgtHydra
2009-11-25, 06:07
Eh. You did read the last scene, right? :heh:
It's pretty much a short fanfic, if you take out the CourierText, and, in fact, that was the form I originally wrote it in.
He's not just a Kamina expy... that's an mask he puts on.
There's a reason we kept the name "Melancholy"...
Oh, I'm sorry then.
Being a noob bites. :heh:
Which "last scene" are we talking about?
I'm pretty bad at keeping track of the various works of this forum.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-25, 06:09
Which "last scene" are we talking about?
I'm pretty bad at keeping track of the various works of this forum.
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".
I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.
In the meantime...
Lonesome
---
Haruhi said something when I talked to her earlier about “looking for weird stuff in town”…Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
[ELSE]
…Come to think of it, wasn’t Haruhi talking about going out for that search for mysterious events on her own? …Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
Of course, if I go out specifically to find her, that would make me into the stalker she’s been accusing me of being recently.
I’ll just go for a walk around town, and if I happen to run into her, well, it’ll just be a coincidence.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
…I packed up a couple of the sandwiches, and took them with me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
…
…
…
…
It was about an hour before I saw her. She was wandering in the park near Kouyouen Station.
I had expected her to be interrogating passerby on whether or not they were keeping aliens in their bedroom closets, but… she was simply wandering.
Devoid of her usual manic energy, she was walking around the park, aimlessly.
Why do I keep seeing her like this? Why does her melancholy face keep appearing?
She really must have wanted to go on that Search for Mysterious Events with all of us. … but hadn’t she had enough of that during the summer that never ends?
We’re not your toys, Haruhi, to play with when and whenever you want. We have lives, too.
…
She still hadn’t noticed me, standing less than thirty feet away.
…
Kyon: Oi, Haruhi!
---
[IF HaruhiConvo=True THEN]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to displeasure, and she began to walk at a very brisk pace towards me.
I should probably run away now.
Haruhi: You perverted stalker! Stop bothering me! How on earth did you know where I was?!
Too late, she’s already sticking her finger in my face.
Damn, she’s fast.
Kyon: I, uh, well, what a coincidence it is to meet you here!
I was just out for a stroll and—
Haruhi: Yeah, right. You’re so simple-minded that anyone can read you like an open book!
---
[ELSE]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to slight confusion, and she headed towards me.
Haruhi: What are [I]you doing here? What, did you follow me or something? That’s creepy.
Kyon: I did nothing of the sort. I was just on a walk, and I randomly happened to run into you.
Just a coincidence, I swear.
Haruhi put her hands on her hips.
Haruhi: Kyon, you might not believe this, but I’m very talented at reading people’s intentions… and you definitely went out with the intention of trying to find me.
Kyon: How can you tell that just by looking at me!?
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
How does that prove anything!? More importantly, how are you so sure about that?
---
Haruhi looked me up and down, appraisingly. …What exactly are you looking at?
Haruhi: And where on earth did you get an outfit like that? With those headphones, you look like some kind delinquent punk… Wait a minute!
What now?
Haruhi: Uncharacteristic stalker-like behavior… stupid clothes… you’ve been replaced by the bodysnatchers, haven’t you!?
As I think “replaced by what!?” I see Haruhi’s left heel headed straight for the side of my head!
It’s thanks to my quick, highly-tuned-to-avoid-danger reactions that I was able to lean backwards in time. I land facing the sky, in a crabwalk position.
Haruhi: Huh? That should’ve… Die, foul bodysnatcher!
A downward kick, aimed at my solar plexus! I roll to the side.
It was easy to avoid. Too easy.
A low, sweeping kick speeds towards my face! Damn.
The only way out of this is by jumping… straight at Haruhi!
I leap to the side, ramming right into her… and consequently end up on the ground, lying on top of her.
Kyon: Uh.
Before I can react to this development at all, Haruhi flips over and rams her knees into my chest.
Kyon: Ooooofff!
Haruhi: Haha, take that, evil, twisted bodysnatcher! You’re trapped! Now, tell me what you’ve done with Kyon, or I’ll remove your lungs!
Kyon: You’ve… cough… already done that…
Haruhi: Imitating him won’t work at all, you know. Tell me what you’ve done with him!
She says, pulling on my ear.
Kyon: Owowowow! I’m not a bodysnatcher! It’s me, dammit! Let go!
Haruhi: Oh? Go on! Prove it!
Since I saw this coming, I had the time to prepare a mental list of personal information about myself, which I rattled off.
Haruhi: Hmm…
Oh, please just accept that as proof and let me go.
Haruhi: Nice try, moronic duplicate! If you were planning to take Kyon’s place, of course you’d know everything there is to know about him!
Not the other ear!
Kyon: Okay, how about this? When you were little, your dad took you to a baseball game at Koushien, which was a completely full house!
[Note: Can ANYONE help me think of a better example?]
Haruhi: …
A pensive look. This is probably a bad reaction.
Haruhi: …I never… I never told anyone but Kyon about that… so I guess it really is you.
Oh thank god.
Haruhi: Of course, there’s always the possibility he surrendered the information under torture.
Dammit! That was my only hope!
Haruhi: …Yup, that expression seals it. You’re Kyon. Definitely.
…What?
[Cut here]
We sat down on a nearby park bench. Haruhi was rubbing her shoulder, and I my poor, aching diaphragm.
Haruhi: That really hurt, you know…
Shouldn’t you be apologizing!? All this was your fault in the first place!
Ugh… why did I even call out to her?
Haruhi: So why did you try to find me, anyway?
Kyon: …No particular reason.
Haruhi: Oh, really? Well then…
She stands up, stretches, brushes the dirt off her skirt, and smiles at me.
Haruhi: I gotta keep searching for mysterious events! You never know when one will just pop out of the woodwork.
You’re a mysterious event, if you ask me.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… when I thought you had been replaced by bodysnatchers, I figured I had finally found one… are you sure you’re not a bodysnatcher?
Kyon: Positive.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… ah, well. See ya, Kyon!
She makes to bounce off with her usual energy. It looks like our scuffle managed to make her energetic again. My work here is done.
Still…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Offer to go with her.
2) Wish her luck.
Friendship is a Wonderful Thing
Kyon: Haruhi, wait.
Haruhi: Hmm?
I really don’t know how to put this, but…
Kyon: …You want some help looking for those mysterious events?
Haruhi: …
I couldn’t describe her expression at that moment, but I can describe mine. It was the expression of a man bracing for impact.
Haruhi: Sure, why not?
Kyon: Wait, really? You’re sure?
Why am I so relieved?
Haruhi: Two pairs of eyes are better than one, right?
Kyon: That’s such a cliché…
Haruhi: Stop grumbling and come along if you’re gonna come along, then.
She stalked off at her usual brisk, manic pace.
I, in turn, slowly and carefully got off the bench.
Trying to make it look as though all this hadn’t been my idea from the beginning.
Reason For…
Kyon: Good luck!
Haruhi: Yeah, thanks!
She waves goodbye.
…What am I feeling disappointed for? My reason for coming to see her no longer exists.
…
I’m tired after that brawl. I think I’ll just go home.
I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it. :p
Now I'm going to pass out.
See, this is why I don't do this too often. :heh:
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".
I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.
In the meantime...
Lonesome
---
Haruhi said something when I talked to her earlier about “looking for weird stuff in town”…Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
[ELSE]
…Come to think of it, wasn’t Haruhi talking about going out for that search for mysterious events on her own? …Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
Of course, if I go out specifically to find her, that would make me into the stalker she’s been accusing me of being recently.
I’ll just go for a walk around town, and if I happen to run into her, well, it’ll just be a coincidence.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
…I packed up a couple of the sandwiches, and took them with me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
…
…
…
…
It was about an hour before I saw her. She was wandering in the park near Kouyouen Station.
I had expected her to be interrogating passerby on whether or not they were keeping aliens in their bedroom closets, but… she was simply wandering.
Devoid of her usual manic energy, she was walking around the park, aimlessly.
Why do I keep seeing her like this? Why does her melancholy face keep appearing?
She really must have wanted to go on that Search for Mysterious Events with all of us. … but hadn’t she had enough of that during the summer that never ends?
We’re not your toys, Haruhi, to play with when and whenever you want. We have lives, too.
…
She still hadn’t noticed me, standing less than thirty feet away.
…
Kyon: Oi, Haruhi!
---
[IF HaruhiConvo=True THEN]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to displeasure, and she began to walk at a very brisk pace towards me.
I should probably run away now.
Haruhi: You perverted stalker! Stop bothering me! How on earth did you know where I was?!
Too late, she’s already sticking her finger in my face.
Damn, she’s fast.
Kyon: I, uh, well, what a coincidence it is to meet you here!
I was just out for a stroll and—
Haruhi: Yeah, right. You’re so simple-minded that anyone can read you like an open book!
---
[ELSE]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to slight confusion, and she headed towards me.
Haruhi: What are [I]you doing here? What, did you follow me or something? That’s creepy.
Kyon: I did nothing of the sort. I was just on a walk, and I randomly happened to run into you.
Just a coincidence, I swear.
Haruhi put her hands on her hips.
Haruhi: Kyon, you might not believe this, but I’m very talented at reading people’s intentions… and you definitely went out with the intention of trying to find me.
Kyon: How can you tell that just by looking at me!?
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
How does that prove anything!? More importantly, how are you so sure about that?
---
Haruhi looked me up and down, appraisingly. …What exactly are you looking at?
Haruhi: And where on earth did you get an outfit like that? With those headphones, you look like some kind delinquent punk… Wait a minute!
What now?
Haruhi: Uncharacteristic stalker-like behavior… stupid clothes… you’ve been replaced by the bodysnatchers, haven’t you!?
As I think “replaced by what!?” I see Haruhi’s left heel headed straight for the side of my head!
It’s thanks to my quick, highly-tuned-to-avoid-danger reactions that I was able to lean backwards in time. I land facing the sky, in a crabwalk position.
Haruhi: Huh? That should’ve… Die, foul bodysnatcher!
A downward kick, aimed at my solar plexus! I roll to the side.
It was easy to avoid. Too easy.
A low, sweeping kick speeds towards my face! Damn.
The only way out of this is by jumping… straight at Haruhi!
I leap to the side, ramming right into her… and consequently end up on the ground, lying on top of her.
Kyon: Uh.
Before I can react to this development at all, Haruhi flips over and rams her knees into my chest.
Kyon: Ooooofff!
Haruhi: Haha, take that, evil, twisted bodysnatcher! You’re trapped! Now, tell me what you’ve done with Kyon, or I’ll remove your lungs!
Kyon: You’ve… cough… already done that…
Haruhi: Imitating him won’t work at all, you know. Tell me what you’ve done with him!
She says, pulling on my ear.
Kyon: Owowowow! I’m not a bodysnatcher! It’s me, dammit! Let go!
Haruhi: Oh? Go on! Prove it!
Since I saw this coming, I had the time to prepare a mental list of personal information about myself, which I rattled off.
Haruhi: Hmm…
Oh, please just accept that as proof and let me go.
Haruhi: Nice try, moronic duplicate! If you were planning to take Kyon’s place, of course you’d know everything there is to know about him!
Not the other ear!
Kyon: Okay, how about this? When you were little, your dad took you to a baseball game at Koushien, which was a completely full house!
[Note: Can ANYONE help me think of a better example?]
Haruhi: …
A pensive look. This is probably a bad reaction.
Haruhi: …I never… I never told anyone but Kyon about that… so I guess it really is you.
Oh thank god.
Haruhi: Of course, there’s always the possibility he surrendered the information under torture.
Dammit! That was my only hope!
Haruhi: …Yup, that expression seals it. You’re Kyon. Definitely.
…What?
[Cut here]
We sat down on a nearby park bench. Haruhi was rubbing her shoulder, and I my poor, aching diaphragm.
Haruhi: That really hurt, you know…
Shouldn’t you be apologizing!? All this was your fault in the first place!
Ugh… why did I even call out to her?
Haruhi: So why did you try to find me, anyway?
Kyon: …No particular reason.
Haruhi: Oh, really? Well then…
She stands up, stretches, brushes the dirt off her skirt, and smiles at me.
Haruhi: I gotta keep searching for mysterious events! You never know when one will just pop out of the woodwork.
You’re a mysterious event, if you ask me.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… when I thought you had been replaced by bodysnatchers, I figured I had finally found one… are you sure you’re not a bodysnatcher?
Kyon: Positive.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… ah, well. See ya, Kyon!
She makes to bounce off with her usual energy. It looks like our scuffle managed to make her energetic again. My work here is done.
Still…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Offer to go with her.
2) Wish her luck.
Friendship is a Wonderful Thing
Kyon: Haruhi, wait.
Haruhi: Hmm?
I really don’t know how to put this, but…
Kyon: …You want some help looking for those mysterious events?
Haruhi: …
I couldn’t describe her expression at that moment, but I can describe mine. It was the expression of a man bracing for impact.
Haruhi: Sure, why not?
Kyon: Wait, really? You’re sure?
Why am I so relieved?
Haruhi: Two pairs of eyes are better than one, right?
Kyon: That’s such a cliché…
Haruhi: Stop grumbling and come along if you’re gonna come along, then.
She stalked off at her usual brisk, manic pace.
I, in turn, slowly and carefully got off the bench.
Trying to make it look as though all this hadn’t been my idea from the beginning.
Reason For…
Kyon: Good luck!
Haruhi: Yeah, thanks!
She waves goodbye.
…What am I feeling disappointed for? My reason for coming to see her no longer exists.
…
I’m tired after that brawl. I think I’ll just go home.
I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it. :p
Now I'm going to pass out.
See, this is why I don't do this too often. :heh:
Heh heh, well done! I know I enjoyed it. ^^
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-25, 14:56
Which "last scene" are we talking about?
This one. (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=2772820&postcount=21195)
Also, no posts? Not even in my morning? Seriously?
This one. (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=2772820&postcount=21195)
Also, no posts? Not even in my morning? Seriously?
o_o I'm invisible now?
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-25, 15:08
o_o I'm invisible now?
Not you. :heh: Thank you, by the way.
I was just expecting more responses... Maybe later today.
wittyusername
2009-11-25, 15:41
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".
I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.
In the meantime...
Lonesome
---
Haruhi said something when I talked to her earlier about “looking for weird stuff in town”…Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
[ELSE]
…Come to think of it, wasn’t Haruhi talking about going out for that search for mysterious events on her own? …Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
Of course, if I go out specifically to find her, that would make me into the stalker she’s been accusing me of being recently.
I’ll just go for a walk around town, and if I happen to run into her, well, it’ll just be a coincidence.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
…I packed up a couple of the sandwiches, and took them with me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
…
…
…
…
It was about an hour before I saw her. She was wandering in the park near Kouyouen Station.
I had expected her to be interrogating passerby on whether or not they were keeping aliens in their bedroom closets, but… she was simply wandering.
Devoid of her usual manic energy, she was walking around the park, aimlessly.
Why do I keep seeing her like this? Why does her melancholy face keep appearing?
She really must have wanted to go on that Search for Mysterious Events with all of us. … but hadn’t she had enough of that during the summer that never ends?
We’re not your toys, Haruhi, to play with when and whenever you want. We have lives, too.
…
She still hadn’t noticed me, standing less than thirty feet away.
…
Kyon: Oi, Haruhi!
---
[IF HaruhiConvo=True THEN]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to displeasure, and she began to walk at a very brisk pace towards me.
I should probably run away now.
Haruhi: You perverted stalker! Stop bothering me! How on earth did you know where I was?!
Too late, she’s already sticking her finger in my face.
Damn, she’s fast.
Kyon: I, uh, well, what a coincidence it is to meet you here!
I was just out for a stroll and—
Haruhi: Yeah, right. You’re so simple-minded that anyone can read you like an open book!
---
[ELSE]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to slight confusion, and she headed towards me.
Haruhi: What are [I]you doing here? What, did you follow me or something? That’s creepy.
Kyon: I did nothing of the sort. I was just on a walk, and I randomly happened to run into you.
Just a coincidence, I swear.
Haruhi put her hands on her hips.
Haruhi: Kyon, you might not believe this, but I’m very talented at reading people’s intentions… and you definitely went out with the intention of trying to find me.
Kyon: How can you tell that just by looking at me!?
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
How does that prove anything!? More importantly, how are you so sure about that?
---
Haruhi looked me up and down, appraisingly. …What exactly are you looking at?
Haruhi: And where on earth did you get an outfit like that? With those headphones, you look like some kind delinquent punk… Wait a minute!
What now?
Haruhi: Uncharacteristic stalker-like behavior… stupid clothes… you’ve been replaced by the bodysnatchers, haven’t you!?
As I think “replaced by what!?” I see Haruhi’s left heel headed straight for the side of my head!
It’s thanks to my quick, highly-tuned-to-avoid-danger reactions that I was able to lean backwards in time. I land facing the sky, in a crabwalk position.
Haruhi: Huh? That should’ve… Die, foul bodysnatcher!
A downward kick, aimed at my solar plexus! I roll to the side.
It was easy to avoid. Too easy.
A low, sweeping kick speeds towards my face! Damn.
The only way out of this is by jumping… straight at Haruhi!
I leap to the side, ramming right into her… and consequently end up on the ground, lying on top of her.
Kyon: Uh.
Before I can react to this development at all, Haruhi flips over and rams her knees into my chest.
Kyon: Ooooofff!
Haruhi: Haha, take that, evil, twisted bodysnatcher! You’re trapped! Now, tell me what you’ve done with Kyon, or I’ll remove your lungs!
Kyon: You’ve… cough… already done that…
Haruhi: Imitating him won’t work at all, you know. Tell me what you’ve done with him!
She says, pulling on my ear.
Kyon: Owowowow! I’m not a bodysnatcher! It’s me, dammit! Let go!
Haruhi: Oh? Go on! Prove it!
Since I saw this coming, I had the time to prepare a mental list of personal information about myself, which I rattled off.
Haruhi: Hmm…
Oh, please just accept that as proof and let me go.
Haruhi: Nice try, moronic duplicate! If you were planning to take Kyon’s place, of course you’d know everything there is to know about him!
Not the other ear!
Kyon: Okay, how about this? When you were little, your dad took you to a baseball game at Koushien, which was a completely full house!
[Note: Can ANYONE help me think of a better example?]
Haruhi: …
A pensive look. This is probably a bad reaction.
Haruhi: …I never… I never told anyone but Kyon about that… so I guess it really is you.
Oh thank god.
Haruhi: Of course, there’s always the possibility he surrendered the information under torture.
Dammit! That was my only hope!
Haruhi: …Yup, that expression seals it. You’re Kyon. Definitely.
…What?
[Cut here]
We sat down on a nearby park bench. Haruhi was rubbing her shoulder, and I my poor, aching diaphragm.
Haruhi: That really hurt, you know…
Shouldn’t you be apologizing!? All this was your fault in the first place!
Ugh… why did I even call out to her?
Haruhi: So why did you try to find me, anyway?
Kyon: …No particular reason.
Haruhi: Oh, really? Well then…
She stands up, stretches, brushes the dirt off her skirt, and smiles at me.
Haruhi: I gotta keep searching for mysterious events! You never know when one will just pop out of the woodwork.
You’re a mysterious event, if you ask me.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… when I thought you had been replaced by bodysnatchers, I figured I had finally found one… are you sure you’re not a bodysnatcher?
Kyon: Positive.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… ah, well. See ya, Kyon!
She makes to bounce off with her usual energy. It looks like our scuffle managed to make her energetic again. My work here is done.
Still…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Offer to go with her.
2) Wish her luck.
Friendship is a Wonderful Thing
Kyon: Haruhi, wait.
Haruhi: Hmm?
I really don’t know how to put this, but…
Kyon: …You want some help looking for those mysterious events?
Haruhi: …
I couldn’t describe her expression at that moment, but I can describe mine. It was the expression of a man bracing for impact.
Haruhi: Sure, why not?
Kyon: Wait, really? You’re sure?
Why am I so relieved?
Haruhi: Two pairs of eyes are better than one, right?
Kyon: That’s such a cliché…
Haruhi: Stop grumbling and come along if you’re gonna come along, then.
She stalked off at her usual brisk, manic pace.
I, in turn, slowly and carefully got off the bench.
Trying to make it look as though all this hadn’t been my idea from the beginning.
Reason For…
Kyon: Good luck!
Haruhi: Yeah, thanks!
She waves goodbye.
…What am I feeling disappointed for? My reason for coming to see her no longer exists.
…
I’m tired after that brawl. I think I’ll just go home.
I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it. :p
Now I'm going to pass out.
See, this is why I don't do this too often. :heh:
Awesome.
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
I can picture an OOC stalker!Haruhi hiding behind bushes outside Kyon's house, making notes on his behaviour. She'd organize the data into charts and get Yuki to make spreadsheets for her. If there were too many occasions of unusual behavior, she'd...well, she'd accuse Kyon of being replaced by the bodysnatchers.
Lonesome
---
Haruhi said something when I talked to her earlier about “looking for weird stuff in town”…Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
[ELSE]
…Come to think of it, wasn’t Haruhi talking about going out for that search for mysterious events on her own? …Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
Of course, if I go out specifically to find her, that would make me into the stalker she’s been accusing me of being recently.
I’ll just go for a walk around town, and if I happen to run into her, well, it’ll just be a coincidence.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
…I packed up a couple of the sandwiches, and took them with me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
…
…
…
…
It was about an hour before I saw her. She was wandering in the park near Kouyouen Station.
I had expected her to be interrogating passerby on whether or not they were keeping aliens in their bedroom closets, but… she was simply wandering.
Devoid of her usual manic energy, she was walking around the park, aimlessly.
Why do I keep seeing her like this? Why does her melancholy face keep appearing?
She really must have wanted to go on that Search for Mysterious Events with all of us. … but hadn’t she had enough of that during the summer that never ends?
We’re not your toys, Haruhi, to play with when and whenever you want. We have lives, too.
…
She still hadn’t noticed me, standing less than thirty feet away.
…
Kyon: Oi, Haruhi!
---
[IF HaruhiConvo=True THEN]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to displeasure, and she began to walk at a very brisk pace towards me.
I should probably run away now.
Haruhi: You perverted stalker! Stop bothering me! How on earth did you know where I was?!
Too late, she’s already sticking her finger in my face.
Damn, she’s fast.
Kyon: I, uh, well, what a coincidence it is to meet you here!
I was just out for a stroll and—
Haruhi: Yeah, right. You’re so simple-minded that anyone can read you like an open book!
---
[ELSE]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to slight confusion, and she headed towards me.
Haruhi: What are [I]you doing here? What, did you follow me or something? That’s creepy.
Kyon: I did nothing of the sort. I was just on a walk, and I randomly happened to run into you.
Just a coincidence, I swear.
Haruhi put her hands on her hips.
Haruhi: Kyon, you might not believe this, but I’m very talented at reading people’s intentions… and you definitely went out with the intention of trying to find me.
Kyon: How can you tell that just by looking at me!?
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
How does that prove anything!? More importantly, how are you so sure about that?
---
Haruhi looked me up and down, appraisingly. …What exactly are you looking at?
Haruhi: And where on earth did you get an outfit like that? With those headphones, you look like some kind delinquent punk… Wait a minute!
What now?
Haruhi: Uncharacteristic stalker-like behavior… stupid clothes… you’ve been replaced by the bodysnatchers, haven’t you!?
As I think “replaced by what!?” I see Haruhi’s left heel headed straight for the side of my head!
It’s thanks to my quick, highly-tuned-to-avoid-danger reactions that I was able to lean backwards in time. I land facing the sky, in a crabwalk position.
Haruhi: Huh? That should’ve… Die, foul bodysnatcher!
A downward kick, aimed at my solar plexus! I roll to the side.
It was easy to avoid. Too easy.
A low, sweeping kick speeds towards my face! Damn.
The only way out of this is by jumping… straight at Haruhi!
I leap to the side, ramming right into her… and consequently end up on the ground, lying on top of her.
Kyon: Uh.
Before I can react to this development at all, Haruhi flips over and rams her knees into my chest.
Kyon: Ooooofff!
Haruhi: Haha, take that, evil, twisted bodysnatcher! You’re trapped! Now, tell me what you’ve done with Kyon, or I’ll remove your lungs!
Kyon: You’ve… cough… already done that…
Haruhi: Imitating him won’t work at all, you know. Tell me what you’ve done with him!
She says, pulling on my ear.
Kyon: Owowowow! I’m not a bodysnatcher! It’s me, dammit! Let go!
Haruhi: Oh? Go on! Prove it!
Since I saw this coming, I had the time to prepare a mental list of personal information about myself, which I rattled off.
Haruhi: Hmm…
Oh, please just accept that as proof and let me go.
Haruhi: Nice try, moronic duplicate! If you were planning to take Kyon’s place, of course you’d know everything there is to know about him!
Not the other ear!
Kyon: Okay, how about this? When you were little, your dad took you to a baseball game at Koushien, which was a completely full house!
[Note: Can ANYONE help me think of a better example?]
Haruhi: …
A pensive look. This is probably a bad reaction.
Haruhi: …I never… I never told anyone but Kyon about that… so I guess it really is you.
Oh thank god.
Haruhi: Of course, there’s always the possibility he surrendered the information under torture.
Dammit! That was my only hope!
Haruhi: …Yup, that expression seals it. You’re Kyon. Definitely.
…What?
[Cut here]
We sat down on a nearby park bench. Haruhi was rubbing her shoulder, and I my poor, aching diaphragm.
Haruhi: That really hurt, you know…
Shouldn’t you be apologizing!? All this was your fault in the first place!
Ugh… why did I even call out to her?
Haruhi: So why did you try to find me, anyway?
Kyon: …No particular reason.
Haruhi: Oh, really? Well then…
She stands up, stretches, brushes the dirt off her skirt, and smiles at me.
Haruhi: I gotta keep searching for mysterious events! You never know when one will just pop out of the woodwork.
You’re a mysterious event, if you ask me.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… when I thought you had been replaced by bodysnatchers, I figured I had finally found one… are you sure you’re not a bodysnatcher?
Kyon: Positive.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… ah, well. See ya, Kyon!
She makes to bounce off with her usual energy. It looks like our scuffle managed to make her energetic again. My work here is done.
Still…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Offer to go with her.
2) Wish her luck.
Friendship is a Wonderful Thing
Kyon: Haruhi, wait.
Haruhi: Hmm?
I really don’t know how to put this, but…
Kyon: …You want some help looking for those mysterious events?
Haruhi: …
I couldn’t describe her expression at that moment, but I can describe mine. It was the expression of a man bracing for impact.
Haruhi: Sure, why not?
Kyon: Wait, really? You’re sure?
Why am I so relieved?
Haruhi: Two pairs of eyes are better than one, right?
Kyon: That’s such a cliché…
Haruhi: Stop grumbling and come along if you’re gonna come along, then.
She stalked off at her usual brisk, manic pace.
I, in turn, slowly and carefully got off the bench.
Trying to make it look as though all this hadn’t been my idea from the beginning.
Reason For…
Kyon: Good luck!
Haruhi: Yeah, thanks!
She waves goodbye.
…What am I feeling disappointed for? My reason for coming to see her no longer exists.
…
I’m tired after that brawl. I think I’ll just go home.
I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it. :p
Now I'm going to pass out.
See, this is why I don't do this too often. :heh:
One thing that might be an interesting way to spice this scene up is to expand the idea that she's being stalked a little. For example, when she thinks Kyon's been replaced by a body-snatcher, she could get a little excited that she's being stalked. Possibly wondering if she's the next target, or if she's been considered a danger to their cause because she knows about them, etc. Then lead into her attacking Kyon.
Also, any particular reason why you had her attack his "solar plexus"? I don't think many people know what that is, and it seems like a very odd thing for someone to think is being attacked. Most people would probably claim their stomach or gut was attacked.
A Glorious Day
Kyon: "Uggh…. Hurts…"
"My head’s pounding… I think I hit it on something. …My chair, maybe?"
Kyon: "Ow!"
"I bang my head trying to get up. My chair, definitely my chair."
"The world swims as my eyes fill with tears."
"As they clear, I note that my clock reads 1:30. That means… I was out for an entire hour!"
"Damn these evil, possessed headphones! These are the Headphones of Mephistopheles himself!"
"I’m about to take them off when I realize that would be a very, very bad idea. The minute they so much as went near my ears I fell unconscious. …And I don’t want to experience whatever I dreamed about again."
"I get the feeling it was about something terrifying familiar… but I’m not going to think about that."
"Instead I’m going to go outside and enjoy this glorious and beautiful day."
"I’m going to go outside and not think about anything bothersome at all."
"…The only question is, where should I go?"
…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
IF Tanzaku=True AND HaruhiConvo=True THEN
1) Didn’t Haruhi say she was going on a ‘search’ by herself…?
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
IF ItsukoConvo=True AND ItsukiConvo=True THEN
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
IF RoutesClear>=4 AND MissingShoes=False THEN
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
ELSE
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
Flagless “H”
"I guess I’ll just go for a walk around town, then."
[Scene: Kitchen]
"My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it."
"This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me."
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
"Now, what to do…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
[Note: Various backgrounds of the city should flash by here.]
"I walked around all afternoon, but nothing happened. I did see Haruhi off in the distance once, but I cleverly hid behind a bush so that she wouldn’t notice me."
"…I’m tired and it’s time for dinner. I think I’ll just go home."
Flagless “I”
"Curse these headphones. Screw Haruhi, if I can get rid of them I will."
"…I wonder how much they’d sell for?"
[Scene: Kitchen]
"My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it."
"This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me."
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
"Now, where was that record store?'
[Scene: Record Store]
"The young clerk working there didn’t respond until I tapped him hard on the shoulder, since apparently he had been thinking about some girl who had been in there earlier. What are these people paid for, exactly?"
"He took one look at the xPod and said that there was no way it could be resold, what with the paint… I expected that, and fortunately it isn’t the whole problem."
"…Of course, I had to get the headphones off before I could examine them… which meant slowly sliding them off my neck backwards, and twisting my arm around my head."
"Stop staring."
"Of course, as the headphones were also damaged, he said he couldn’t resell them, either. Too bad, he said, since they were worth more than the xPod itself."
"Dammit, Haruhi! Some extra pocket money would have been nice!"
"…I’m tired and it’s getting late. I think I’ll just go home."
"…It would probably be safer to keep these in my pocket."
Flagless “K”
"Why don’t I go to the library? There’ve been a couple books I’ve been interested in reading for a while now, anyway."
"Maybe I can discuss literature with Nagato… or not."
[Scene: Kitchen]
"My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it."
"This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me."
[Scene: Library]
"After a bit of searching, I found a couple copies of the big, foreign novels Nagato likes to read, and settled down in a chair to read."
"When I woke up, the library was closing."
"Those chairs certainly are comfortable… it’s about time for dinner."
"Guess I’ll just head home."
Meh.
Editing is le boring.
dragon4dudes
2009-11-25, 20:01
Those were great Kaisos. And I cannot think of anything else that Haruhi has only revealed to Kyon.
Also, people have posted.
Smeghead
2009-11-25, 20:33
How about the shadow Haruhi saw on the Tamaru brothers Island.
Haruhi's imagination. (the creation of someone not part in the scene... it scares me...)
dragon4dudes
2009-11-25, 22:56
Do either of them actually remember that at this point?
Just though of one. The reason for the different hair styles daily at the beginning of the year. Though it isn't as personal as the one currently being used.
luap1138
2009-11-25, 23:31
Excellent write-ups Kaisos.:) Quick question, though: Isn't having HaruhiConvo=True a requirement for getting "Lonesome"? If so, then the IF...THEN and ELSE statements are unnecessary.
But yeah, other than that great job. I'm especially looking forward to the rest of Haruhi's scenes.
DJ_RockmanX
2009-11-25, 23:49
Quick question, though: Isn't having HaruhiConvo=True a requirement for getting "Lonesome"? If so, then the IF...THEN and ELSE statements are unnecessary.
Easy fix. Attribute it to Haruhi points instead.
hikikomorisketch
2009-11-26, 08:02
I wonder if Kyon would be a tsundere type. lol. But Yuki is hot as a guy. *wipes nose* I wouldn't mind that.
Certainly almost all characterisations of Kyonko turn her into a Tsundere type. I think it's the closest general cliche for Kyon's equivilent. Kyon actually is a male Tsundere, to an extent, anyway.
swtrooper42
2009-11-26, 10:37
I thought Kyonko was more of a Kuudere.
Also, Happy Thanksgiving to all you non-Canadians out there.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-26, 13:00
I thought Kyonko was more of a Kuudere.
Kyonko is a tsundere who thinks of herself as a kuudere. Not in those exact terms, obviously, but that's how it is.
Also alcohol is bad for you. Speaking from experience here. Uiiiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh.
besieger
2009-11-26, 16:46
Kaisos, just because you had a hangover doesn't mean that alcohol is bad for you. UNLESS YOU CHUG A BOTTLE OF LIQUOR IN ONE GO.
vivify93
2009-11-26, 18:36
Also, Happy Thanksgiving to all you non-Canadians out there.
Isn't that like, me, you, and beanbrew though? :heh: Americans I mean; obviously Heatth isn't from Canada.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-27, 00:49
I suppose I should let you know that I live... IN AMERICA!! My voice gives me super strength... I hate having to correct things...
I suppose I should let you know that I live... IN AMERICA!! My hair gives me super strength...Shouldn't that be "My voice gives me super strength"?
And this is the how-manieth time we've referenced YGO:TAS?
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-27, 01:13
My mistake... I haven't kept track. :heh:
Shouldn't that be "My voice gives me super strength"?
Depends on who he's doing. Doesn't that one guard from season one reference his hair giving him super strength (along with a myriad of other abilities) at some point?
Depends on who he's doing. Doesn't that one guard from season one reference his hair giving him super strength (along with a myriad of other abilities) at some point?No, the guard's phrase is "My hair knows karate!"
Haruki is also much, much more, uh, "secure in his sexuality" than Kamina ever was. In fact, Kamina was a homophobe... now, put Haruki and Leeron in a room together, and...
Actually, that's a very amusing idea.
A Glorious Day
Kyon: Uggh…. Hurts…
My head’s pounding… I think I hit it on something. …My chair, maybe?
Kyon: Ow!
I bang my head trying to get up. My chair, definitely my chair.
The world swims as my eyes fill with tears.
As they clear, I note that my clock reads 1:30. That means… I was out for an hour!
Damn these evil, possessed headphones! These are the Headphones of Mephistopheles!
I’m about to take them off when I realize that would be a very, very bad idea. The minute they so much as went near my ears I fell unconscious. …And I don’t want to experience whatever I dreamed about again.
I get the feeling it was about something terrifying familiar… but I’m not going to think about that.
Instead I’m going to go outside and enjoy this glorious and beautiful day.
I’m going to go outside and not think about anything bothersome at all.
…The only question is, where should I go?
…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
IF Tanzaku=True AND HaruhiConvo=True THEN
1) Didn’t Haruhi say she was going on a ‘search’ by herself…?
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
IF ItsukoConvo=True AND ItsukiConvo=True THEN
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
IF RoutesClear>=4 AND MissingShoes=False THEN
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
ELSE
1) I’ll walk around town for a bit.
2) I might head to a mall or something…
3) Kind of hungry… the convenience store it is, then.
4) Could go to the record store and find out how much Haruhi’s headphones are worth…
5) Maybe I’ll go to the library…
Flagless “H”
I guess I’ll just go for a walk around town, then.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
Now, what to do…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
[Note: Various backgrounds of the city should flash by here.]
I walked around all afternoon, but nothing happened. I did see Haruhi off in the distance once, but I cleverly hid behind a bush so that she wouldn’t notice me.
…I’m tired and it’s time for dinner. I think I’ll just go home.
Flagless “I”
Curse these headphones. Screw Haruhi, if I can get rid of them I will.
…I wonder how much they’d sell for?
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
Now, where was that record store?
[Scene: Record Store]
The young clerk working there didn’t respond until I tapped him hard on the shoulder, since apparently he had been thinking about some girl who had been in there earlier. What are these people paid for, exactly?
He took one look at the xPod and said that there was no way it could be resold, what with the paint… I expected that, and fortunately it isn’t the whole problem.
…Of course, I had to get the headphones off before I could examine them… which meant slowly sliding them off my neck backwards, and twisting my arm around my head.
Stop staring.
Of course, as the headphones were also damaged, he said he couldn’t resell them, either. Too bad, he said, since they were worth more than the xPod itself.
Dammit, Haruhi! Some extra pocket money would have been nice!
…I’m tired and it’s getting late. I think I’ll just go home.
…It would probably be safer to keep these in my pocket.
Flagless “K”
Why don’t I go to the library? There’ve been a couple books I’ve been interested in reading for a while now, anyway.
Maybe I can discuss literature with Nagato… or not.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Library]
After a bit of searching, I found a couple copies of the big, foreign novels Nagato likes to read, and settled down in a chair to read.
When I woke up, the library was closing.
Those chairs certainly are comfortable… it’s about time for dinner.
Guess I’ll just head home.
Refer to flowchart for how this works. :heh:
I'll be doing the Haruhi subscenes first, so look forward to that.
I know this is short, I'm sorry, I am very, very tired.
Nice. I notice you mentioned Haruhi and Itsuko in 'H' and 'I', probably cause I bothered you too much on it. :p (anyway, Kyon hiding from Haruhi is funny)
The one entitled "Flashes in Space (Restlessness/Melancholy)".
I'll link it to you later, when I'm not in dire need of rest.
In the meantime...
Lonesome
---
Haruhi said something when I talked to her earlier about “looking for weird stuff in town”…Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
[ELSE]
…Come to think of it, wasn’t Haruhi talking about going out for that search for mysterious events on her own? …Despite myself, I’m somewhat concerned about what she’ll get up to while she’s searching through the town alone.
---
Of course, if I go out specifically to find her, that would make me into the stalker she’s been accusing me of being recently.
I’ll just go for a walk around town, and if I happen to run into her, well, it’ll just be a coincidence.
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
…I packed up a couple of the sandwiches, and took them with me.
[Scene: Streets of Nishinomiya]
…
…
…
…
It was about an hour before I saw her. She was wandering in the park near Kouyouen Station.
I had expected her to be interrogating passerby on whether or not they were keeping aliens in their bedroom closets, but… she was simply wandering.
Devoid of her usual manic energy, she was walking around the park, aimlessly.
Why do I keep seeing her like this? Why does her melancholy face keep appearing?
She really must have wanted to go on that Search for Mysterious Events with all of us. … but hadn’t she had enough of that during the summer that never ends?
We’re not your toys, Haruhi, to play with when and whenever you want. We have lives, too.
…
She still hadn’t noticed me, standing less than thirty feet away.
…
Kyon: Oi, Haruhi!
---
[IF HaruhiConvo=True THEN]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to displeasure, and she began to walk at a very brisk pace towards me.
I should probably run away now.
Haruhi: You perverted stalker! Stop bothering me! How on earth did you know where I was?!
Too late, she’s already sticking her finger in my face.
Damn, she’s fast.
Kyon: I, uh, well, what a coincidence it is to meet you here!
I was just out for a stroll and—
Haruhi: Yeah, right. You’re so simple-minded that anyone can read you like an open book!
---
[ELSE]
Her head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Her expression quickly changed from surprise to slight confusion, and she headed towards me.
Haruhi: What are [I]you doing here? What, did you follow me or something? That’s creepy.
Kyon: I did nothing of the sort. I was just on a walk, and I randomly happened to run into you.
Just a coincidence, I swear.
Haruhi put her hands on her hips.
Haruhi: Kyon, you might not believe this, but I’m very talented at reading people’s intentions… and you definitely went out with the intention of trying to find me.
Kyon: How can you tell that just by looking at me!?
Haruhi: Easy. I know you never leave your house unless you can help it.
How does that prove anything!? More importantly, how are you so sure about that?
---
Haruhi looked me up and down, appraisingly. …What exactly are you looking at?
Haruhi: And where on earth did you get an outfit like that? With those headphones, you look like some kind delinquent punk… Wait a minute!
What now?
Haruhi: Uncharacteristic stalker-like behavior… stupid clothes… you’ve been replaced by the bodysnatchers, haven’t you!?
As I think “replaced by what!?” I see Haruhi’s left heel headed straight for the side of my head!
It’s thanks to my quick, highly-tuned-to-avoid-danger reactions that I was able to lean backwards in time. I land facing the sky, in a crabwalk position.
Haruhi: Huh? That should’ve… Die, foul bodysnatcher!
A downward kick, aimed at my solar plexus! I roll to the side.
It was easy to avoid. Too easy.
A low, sweeping kick speeds towards my face! Damn.
The only way out of this is by jumping… straight at Haruhi!
I leap to the side, ramming right into her… and consequently end up on the ground, lying on top of her.
Kyon: Uh.
Before I can react to this development at all, Haruhi flips over and rams her knees into my chest.
Kyon: Ooooofff!
Haruhi: Haha, take that, evil, twisted bodysnatcher! You’re trapped! Now, tell me what you’ve done with Kyon, or I’ll remove your lungs!
Kyon: You’ve… cough… already done that…
Haruhi: Imitating him won’t work at all, you know. Tell me what you’ve done with him!
She says, pulling on my ear.
Kyon: Owowowow! I’m not a bodysnatcher! It’s me, dammit! Let go!
Haruhi: Oh? Go on! Prove it!
Since I saw this coming, I had the time to prepare a mental list of personal information about myself, which I rattled off.
Haruhi: Hmm…
Oh, please just accept that as proof and let me go.
Haruhi: Nice try, moronic duplicate! If you were planning to take Kyon’s place, of course you’d know everything there is to know about him!
Not the other ear!
Kyon: Okay, how about this? When you were little, your dad took you to a baseball game at Koushien, which was a completely full house!
[Note: Can ANYONE help me think of a better example?]
Haruhi: …
A pensive look. This is probably a bad reaction.
Haruhi: …I never… I never told anyone but Kyon about that… so I guess it really is you.
Oh thank god.
Haruhi: Of course, there’s always the possibility he surrendered the information under torture.
Dammit! That was my only hope!
Haruhi: …Yup, that expression seals it. You’re Kyon. Definitely.
…What?
[Cut here]
We sat down on a nearby park bench. Haruhi was rubbing her shoulder, and I my poor, aching diaphragm.
Haruhi: That really hurt, you know…
Shouldn’t you be apologizing!? All this was your fault in the first place!
Ugh… why did I even call out to her?
Haruhi: So why did you try to find me, anyway?
Kyon: …No particular reason.
Haruhi: Oh, really? Well then…
She stands up, stretches, brushes the dirt off her skirt, and smiles at me.
Haruhi: I gotta keep searching for mysterious events! You never know when one will just pop out of the woodwork.
You’re a mysterious event, if you ask me.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… when I thought you had been replaced by bodysnatchers, I figured I had finally found one… are you sure you’re not a bodysnatcher?
Kyon: Positive.
Haruhi: It’s really too bad… ah, well. See ya, Kyon!
She makes to bounce off with her usual energy. It looks like our scuffle managed to make her energetic again. My work here is done.
Still…
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Offer to go with her.
2) Wish her luck.
Friendship is a Wonderful Thing
Kyon: Haruhi, wait.
Haruhi: Hmm?
I really don’t know how to put this, but…
Kyon: …You want some help looking for those mysterious events?
Haruhi: …
I couldn’t describe her expression at that moment, but I can describe mine. It was the expression of a man bracing for impact.
Haruhi: Sure, why not?
Kyon: Wait, really? You’re sure?
Why am I so relieved?
Haruhi: Two pairs of eyes are better than one, right?
Kyon: That’s such a cliché…
Haruhi: Stop grumbling and come along if you’re gonna come along, then.
She stalked off at her usual brisk, manic pace.
I, in turn, slowly and carefully got off the bench.
Trying to make it look as though all this hadn’t been my idea from the beginning.
Reason For…
Kyon: Good luck!
Haruhi: Yeah, thanks!
She waves goodbye.
…What am I feeling disappointed for? My reason for coming to see her no longer exists.
…
I’m tired after that brawl. I think I’ll just go home.
I worked really hard on this so you had all better enjoy it. :p
Now I'm going to pass out.
See, this is why I don't do this too often. :heh:
I believe I already told you, but your Kyon/Haruhi scenes are very good. This one is very funny. God 'fight scene'. :p Shouldn't Kyon comment about how the passerby were confused/shocked looking that scene or something?
Also, luap1138, is right, how that flags work if you are suppose to have both?
I thought Kyonko was more of a Kuudere.
Also, Happy Thanksgiving to all you non-Canadians out there.
Thanks. :) I don't celebrate Thanksgiving tough. Not even sure what it is. :p
Btw, Happy Late Thanksgiving to every one who cares about it.
No, the guard's phrase is "My hair knows karate!"
Wasn't Kung-Fu? And power to defy gravity?
Did I ever tell you that this Day in the VN kind of amuses me? It reminds me of the old school bishoujo games. The Player has free time, and in your choice of wandering the part of town that interests you; you have an encounter with one of the girls, whose reason for being there is likely heartwarming and you event get her. :p
Stormwhite
2009-11-27, 13:37
No, the guard's phrase is "My hair knows karate!"
No, no, it's "My hair knows kung fu!"
and "My hair has the power to defy gravity!"
Only two I can remember offhand anyway.
EDIT: I fail at reading Heatth's post.
Just so that my post has some relevance, I always saw Kyonko as a tsundere, she's too emotionally intelligent to be a kuudere imho
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-11-27, 14:08
I made a mistake, drop it already... "My hair is telling you that it's time for you to board" was the first one. That goes for you, as well...
Nanao-kun
2009-11-27, 21:49
I made a mistake, drop it already... "My hair is telling you that it's time for you to board" was the first one. That goes for you, as well...
As a fellow American, I feel obliged to agree with you.
vivify93
2009-11-28, 01:07
I like using colored text! FUDGECRACKLESNOT!
Isn't that like, me, you, and beanbrew though? :heh: Americans I mean; obviously Heatth isn't from Canada.
I'm one as well... says so right under my picture.
Anyways... I liked the scenes. Once this hell-week is over, I'll try to pay more attention to the thread.
dragon4dudes
2009-11-28, 18:32
I'm no American, I'm a United Statesian.
I'm no American, I'm a United Statesian.
This still make you American, tough. Eh, unless you are hawaiian that is it.
Roger Rambo
2009-11-28, 19:52
I'm no American, I'm a United Statesian.That's stupid.
Stop saying stupid things.
FerrisWheel
2009-11-29, 01:33
Does anyone know where I can get the fics for the genderbent version of every episode in Meloncholy?
WordShaker
2009-11-29, 02:07
You mean the Unofficial Official Seitenkan write-up? If I'm not mistaken, it's right on this here Archive post...
http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=1446680&postcount=860
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-29, 02:16
However, that's not exactly the finalized version, and I don't consider this a fanfic. That word has too many negative connotations.
ClockWorkAngel
2009-11-29, 10:25
It reminds that I never finished Remote, and half of it was incredibly bad. Well Time for a massive redo again.
And yes, I'm alive; somehow.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-11-30, 03:26
*gasp* THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE WORDS *gasp* left....
Stupid, stupid essays. This is only my first, and I have TWO MORE to write... fuck my life. Fuck it.
This coming Thursday, I will be both a) buying myself a new Santa hat, b) relaxing in the no-more-essays lull, c) enjoying the Christmas season, which is the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE FUCKING YEAR, and d) writing up the rest of the Haruhi subscenes.
Look forward to them then. In December, I have nothing to do other than study for my three exams, all of which should be easy, so I'll probably be able to finish Day Five and Six during that time.
Then we need to at least get a Day Zero pre-demo out to attract talented people by, say, the end of March... it should be our first priority after I finish the first week.
That's all from me for now.
DJ_RockmanX
2009-11-30, 03:39
*gasp* THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIVE WORDS *gasp* left....
Stupid, stupid essays. This is only my first, and I have TWO MORE to write... fuck my life. Fuck it.
Sounds familiar.
This coming Thursday, I will be both a) buying myself a new Santa hat, b) relaxing in the no-more-essays lull, c) enjoying the Christmas season, which is the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE FUCKING YEAR, and d) writing up the rest of the Haruhi subscenes.
Look forward to them then. In December, I have nothing to do other than study for my three exams, all of which should be easy, so I'll probably be able to finish Day Five and Six during that time.
Then we need to at least get a Day Zero pre-demo out to attract talented people by, say, the end of March... it should be our first priority after I finish the first week.
That's all from me for now.
Sounds nice.
beanbrew
2009-11-30, 23:04
Isn't that like, me, you, and beanbrew though? :heh: Americans I mean; obviously Heatth isn't from Canada.
I'm a Californian temporarily living in America. Because obviously, California is its own country. :D
dragon4dudes
2009-12-01, 00:59
Of course it is.
Just a thought, what's it like under Arnold? And I'm trying to avoid the economic side of things.
When I hear about talk about California, the first thing that comes up in subject is Governor Schwarzenegger (spelling?) From what I hear, the typical response is "Yeah, he's our governor, but he doesn't do much," or something like that.
My English is terrible nowadays, so forgive me ;-;
/ completely off-topic and used as a means of *hopefully* walking up from hibernation ~_~
DannyCat
2009-12-01, 10:05
Or "He's the governor, but the state legislature is so heavily stacked against him, they can overrule pretty much anything he proposes."
/ Only over here because there's been nothing new for the image thread since last night...
Nanao-kun
2009-12-01, 21:11
When I hear about talk about California, the first thing that comes up in subject is Governor Schwarzenegger (spelling?) From what I hear, the typical response is "Yeah, he's our governor, but he doesn't do much," or something like that.
My English is terrible nowadays, so forgive me ;-;
/ completely off-topic and used as a means of *hopefully* walking up from hibernation ~_~
I always forget the fact that we even have governers (ノ゜ｰ゜)ノ.
vedicardi
2009-12-02, 01:41
What's this I'm hearing about a VN?
I'm a guitar player, and I can play whatever needs to be played (provided NO JAZZ CHORDS ARE INVOLVED! :D ). I'm not really much of a composer though (unless you like Thrash Metal). I can play Bass guitar as well.
The only catch is that if I participate, the credits song will have to be "Am I Evil" by Diamond Head.
(joking hurr)
So what's up? I'm personally not a fan of gender bending but I'm always up for helping a fan-made VN of any variety (provided there it's not just a fan-fiction type thing in quality).
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-02, 02:06
What's this I'm hearing about a VN?
I'm a guitar player, and I can play whatever needs to be played (provided NO JAZZ CHORDS ARE INVOLVED! :D ). I'm not really much of a composer though (unless you like Thrash Metal). I can play Bass guitar as well.
I'm really more into synthesized music, the kind of thing you'd find in normal VNs, but... well, I think we can find several uses for epic guitar themes, given the overall tone of some of the routes...
So what's up? I'm personally not a fan of gender bending but I'm always up for helping a fan-made VN of any variety (provided there it's not just a fan-fiction type thing in quality).
What, exactly, does this mean? :heh:
The VN archive can be found here (http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost.php?p=2527752&postcount=17699)... warning, quality is rather varied: a lot of these I wrote either extremely late at night or when I was extremely bored or depressed. Some of them, however are fantastic, even by my own (somewhat intense) standards. Also, the archive needs some updating... I've written more for Day 5 than is actually on that list.
If you're wondering about the rather strange tone at times, it's because the entire point of this project is to take the entirely too lighthearted Haruhi series, and play most of the tropes involved in an rather dark manner; you know, the way they would be if Haruhi herself wasn't so happy-go-lucky.
All of this is primarily a first draft, keep in mind... scenes that I think suck I'll probably go over again at some point.
vedicardi
2009-12-02, 02:20
Well yeah, I can do "epic themes," I guess, but I'm up for some nice clean rhythm guitar backing up some MIDI stuff. I think if you listen close, you'll hear some clean guitar playing under a lot more VN songs than you might think, particularly the more high budget ones. But yeah, I'm up for whatever you need.
I'm just not a fan of gender bending in general, I don't follow it or care for it for any series, you know what I mean? I don't really dislike it either, I just don't care for it XD I said I don't like fan fiction quality writing, does that make sense? Just boring "what if" stuff, rather than actually trying new things and not just trying to please one's self. I think what you've wrote here is very interesting, so yeah, just nevermind what I've said XD I'll leave the writing to you guys I guess, hm? I really like your paths/choices. Very creative and fun.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-02, 02:25
Well yeah, I can do "epic themes," I guess, but I'm up for some nice clean rhythm guitar backing up some MIDI stuff. I think if you listen close, you'll hear some clean guitar playing under a lot more VN songs than you might think, particularly the more high budget ones. But yeah, I'm up for whatever you need.
Hmm. Well, we'd be glad to have you, since we need all the help we can get, although to use you in the first place we need a goddamn composer first.
...Have any other musical friends who like Haruhi? >_>
I'm just not a fan of gender bending in general, I don't follow it or care for it for any series, you know what I mean? I don't really dislike it either, I just don't care for it XD
We're using the original cast too, you do realize, right? In fact, I'd say that, although the genderbent characters are more important, they get less focus than the main cast does.
I said I don't like fan fiction quality writing, does that make sense? Just boring "what if" stuff, rather than actually trying new things and not just trying to please one's self. I think what you've wrote here is very interesting, so yeah, just nevermind what I've said XD I'll leave the writing to you guys I guess, hm? I really like your paths/choices. Very creative and fun.
I'd be very flattered if you'd actually read through the whole thing. Some of the later scenes, particularly on Day 3, are the ones I'm really proud of :heh: And yes, I understand what you mean by "fanfiction quality" writing... although this is fanfiction, I'd like to at least think I'm a little better than most of the denizens of ff.net.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-12-02, 05:15
You've come up with a plot that isn't "These two hook up; everyone else either dies, doesn't do anything, or gives up in an incredibly OOC manner." I'd say you're already better than the majority of fanfics out there. :p
Nanao-kun
2009-12-02, 15:17
You've come up with a plot that isn't "These two hook up; everyone else either dies, doesn't do anything, or gives up in an incredibly OOC manner." I'd say you're already better than the majority of fanfics out there. :p
And this is one of the many reasons why we love Kaisos.
^ Everyone (at least those who post here anyway) loves him XD
vedicardi
2009-12-02, 17:05
I'm sorry, I don't really know any composers (at least none suited for VN songs). If you really can't come up with anything/anyone, I can write some simple calm guitar songs, the type of stuff you might hear in a typical Kyoani image song.
I'm sure if you search around enough you'll be able to find some sites with people that would be willing to help out, mh?
JUN MAEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
would be awesome.
If only.
*sigh*
One could simply remix the current songs instead...
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-12-03, 16:54
Where's the fun in that? :p
dragon4dudes
2009-12-03, 23:26
Uh... Yeah... Sure...? =)
Too lazy for emoticons
The songs are limited (unless one can... split the song and the music... like Asakura's music and the like)
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-05, 03:38
I'm going to get carpal tunnel.
Mysterious Event
Haruhi: Hey, look at that old man over there! Doesn't he look suspicious?
Not really. He just seems like any average old man sitting on a park bench.
It's been about twenty minutes since I met up with Haruhi, and for all twenty of those minutes, she's been pointing out the most random things and declaring them to be 'suspicious' or 'mysterious'. Really, I think she's just reaching out of a sense of desperation, but I'm doing my best to humor her.
Kyon: ...Why is he suspicious?
Haruhi: He's staring at the cherry trees. No one stares at the cherry trees at this time of year! He's probably receiving messages from his superiors.
Why? Why is that the first thing you assume? In all probability, he's just reminiscing about his recently deceased wife, who he walked with under the cherry trees every day for nearly fifty years. I bet they lived all alone in a tiny house, all their children and grandchildren having moved away to the big city many years ago, and unable to support themselves on his measly pension, they were both forced to get part-time jobs even in the years when they should have been enjoying the fruits of a long life. Last week, she had a heart attack due to overwork, and on her deathbed, she made him promise to continue their daily walks, under the shade of the cherry trees, in her memory.
Kyon: I'd like to thank the Academy.
Haruhi: Not now, Kyon! Look, he's getting away! Let's follow him secretly!
Kyon: Look, he's probably not even worth investig-- she's not listening again.
Sigh.
We tailed the old man for about ten minutes, but Haruhi lost interest when it became clear that he was just going to the residential district.
Kyon: What were you expecting? Him to just walk into a phone booth and disappear?
Haruhi: Exactly! You're getting better at this! Hey, what's that over there?
The “that over there” turned out to be a defaced telephone pole... someone had scratched some strange-looking characters into the wood, probably a hoodlum with a pocket knife and nothing better to do.
Haruhi: Pay attention, Kyon. This is clearly a message from higher beings, placed here for us to find. If we can decipher its meaning, we can unlock the secrets of the universe!
I have two questions: How often do you find these around, and did you hit your head this morning?
...And, actually...
I turned my head to the side a little.
Kyon: I think it just reads “question authority”... the person who wrote this must have been terrible with a pocket-knife.
Haruhi was copying the poorly-written characters down in a notebook, clearly intent on deciphering them later.
Kyon: Were you even listening to me?
Haruhi: Come on, help me look! There's bound to be more around here somewhere.
Eh?
To my surprise, there was. We found several more pocket-knife scratchings, reading, in order of discovery: “oh god, they're eating me from the inside”, “everything you've ever known is a lie”, something that looked like French or some other Western language, the only word of which I could read being “bastardes”, and “he was delicious”.
...I stand corrected. This was the work of a lunatic, rather than a hoodlum.
Haruhi had finished copying them down into that little spiral notebook.
Haruhi: There we are! You're helping me decipher these later, understand?
Kyon: I just read them out to you!
Haruhi: Ooooh! Look at that, Kyon!
It's like looking after a child...
A small crowd of people had gathered in front of a nearby house, and as I got closer, dragged by Haruhi, I could also see that police had cordoned it off, drawing attention.
Haruhi, as expected, started demanding information from the nearest onlooker.
Haruhi: Excuse me, but could you please tell us what happened here?
Polite only to adults, as usual. And don't include me in this! For the purposes of your investigations, I don't know you.
The onlooker, a middle-aged housewife of the kind that enjoys gossip perhaps a little too much, described with relish the rumor that the owner of the house had been found dead this morning; apparently, he was murdered.
...A bit unsettling, but I suppose these things happen. Frankly, I'm more worried about--
Haruhi: Thank you very much.
Her reaction to this.
I was immediately dragged by the front of my shirt to the other side of the street. The shine in Haruhi's eyes foretold exactly what she was going to say.
Kyon: No.
Displeasure.
Haruhi: What? What's that supposed to mean? I haven't even said anything yet!
Kyon: We are not breaking through a police line to go search the house for clues! That's both too far and too dangerous.
Haruhi: But it's a real murder! This could be the center of a vast conspiracy!
Please, you just want to play detective again and, not only that, this time the killer actually exists... Do you have any idea what the consequences would be if he was still lurking around? Your investigation might be cut short sooner than you'd like...
Haruhi: Hmph. Whatever. Let's find something else to do.
We were approaching a train crossing, which I recognized as the one at which Haruhi had once confessed her feelings of insignificance to me. Suddenly, Haruhi stopped short, without saying a word.
This is deja vu, but thankfully not in the same way as last month.
Haruhi: You know... you're not being very helpful.
Kyon: I was only trying to stop you from getting either killed or arrested. I'm perfectly willing to help when there isn't a danger of either of those.
Haruhi: You were the one who asked to come along with me! I could have done this on my own!
Kyon: It's a good thing I did, too, since you might have been taken by the police if not for my intervention!
Haruhi: I don't have time for this...
Kyon: Why are you even angry? I haven't done a--
She turned away, presenting me with the back of her head as she stalked across the tracks. The gates closed behind her. A train was coming.
Deja vu, again... but I'm on the other side this time.
Does that mean something?
---
IF Haruhi=19 THEN
...Is it really right, to just let her walk away like that?
Every attempt to cheer her up, or at least defuse her incredible temper, ends up backfiring or escalating into an argument. Trying to keep Haruhi happy is futile.
Yet is it all right to just let her go, and let this train come in between us?
...More importantly, is that something that I want?
I could see the train coming out of the corner of my eye. It would come in only a few seconds, separating us, perhaps only for a minute, perhaps forever.
I don't know.
In those few seconds, time seemed to slow down, like in a bad action film.
During those few seconds, a voice seemed to echo out of the headphones still slung around my neck.
Missed opportunities suck. For what it's worth, whatever you do, always give it your all!
I gave it my all.
Kyon: HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !
Haruhi: ...Hah?
Time slowed down even further.
The train was almost upon us.
I stepped forward... and hurdled over one gate, landing square in the path of the train.
I had no chance to react. It would perhaps be three seconds, maybe less, until I was no longer a part of this world.
Then I realized I still wasn't really giving it my all. So I did.
I hurdled over the next gate, landing right beside Haruhi, whose face was frozen in shock.
The train sped by. Time returned to normal.
Kyon: Never stop dreaming!
Believe in you who believes in yourself who believes in me who believes in circular statements!
Haruhi: ...
...Wait. What did I just say?
In fact, what did I just do? ...Did I seriously just run across the tracks when a train was coming?
I... I think I did, yes.
Haruhi: Are you an idiot!?
Kyon: Uh.
Haruhi: Weren't you the one just telling me to be careful!?
Kyon: Well, yes...
Haruhi: Honestly...
She sighs. I feel as though our positions have been reversed. It's not a good feeling.
Haruhi: Well, whatever, it can't be helped. I'm getting hungry, let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
---
ELSE
It doesn't mean anything. A train is a train is a train. What else could it mean?
I lose sight of Haruhi, and the train passes without incident.
Except... when I saw Haruhi again, she had turned around, facing me once more.
Haruhi: Hey.
Kyon: ...Yo.
I was an idiot to worry. After the gates lift, I cross the tracks, tracing her path from earlier.
Haruhi: Thank god, I thought you'd left.
Kyon: Why would I leave? And why do you care.
Haruhi: Hmph.
She shrugged.
Haruhi: I... wanted to thank you. For looking out for me earlier. ...Not that I still don't want to investigate that murder, of course.
Kyon: Of course... It's no trouble, though. You're my Chief, after all. It'd be bad if something happened to you.
Haruhi looked somewhat surprised at my proclamation.
Haruhi: ...
Kyon: ...
Haruhi: A-anyway, I'm hungry, so let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
---
The following mysterious event occurred while we were sitting on a park bench, eating my mother's delicious sandwiches.
Kyon: ...You know, I'm surprised you still haven't commented on these.
I tap her headphones.
Kyon: If you want a mysterious event, I think they qualify.
Haruhi: Hmm? Why? Do you hear the tortured screams of restless spirits while you wear them or something?
Kyon: ...Something like that... but don't you recognize them?
Haruhi: ...Should I?
Kyon: They're yours.
Haruhi: I've never owned a pair of headphones in my life.
Kyon: ...You sure? They have your name inscribed on the headband... and the music on the xPod that came with them kind of fits you, to be honest...
Haruhi: Well, give them here and I'll see for myself.
That might be dangerous. Be patient and give me a minute.
To take the headphones off without activating them, I guess I'll have to slide them backward, behind my head, and then lift them high up, making sure they don't go anywhere near my ears.
Haruhi is giving me her are-you-stupid look as she watches my minor gymnastics. No matter, I can finally get rid of them now.
I hand her both the headphones and the xPod. Free. I'm finally free.
Haruhi: COOL... SHRINE? ...That's not my name.
Kyon: I know that. ...I think it's the translated kanji reading of “Suzumiya”.
Haruhi: Only if you're an idiot who doesn't pay attention in English class. Admit it, Kyon. You're just trying to pawn stuff you don't want off on me. And this...
She holds up the xPod.
Haruhi: Why did you paint it yellow? Does it even work anymore?
Kyon: Surprisingly, yes... and why are you so sure those are mine!?
Haruhi: Please. They go perfectly with that street punk look you're currently sporting.
Kyon: It doesn't look that bad!
Haruhi: Yes it does. Anyway, you can have these back; I appreciate the gift, but I don't want your old crap, Kyon.
She moves to put the headphones back on my head.
Kyon: Hey, Haruhi, wait! Don't do--
FLASH.
Enjoy. By the way, 19 is the max number of Haruhi points one can get.
As for music...
For Day 0, I can just use the original music from the anime. Nothing new or needed there.
I really want to get my hands on that epic theme from the end of E8, though...
I'm going to get carpal tunnel.
Mysterious Event
Haruhi: Hey, look at that old man over there! Doesn't he look suspicious?
Not really. He just seems like any average old man sitting on a park bench.
It's been about twenty minutes since I met up with Haruhi, and for all twenty of those minutes, she's been pointing out the most random things and declaring them to be 'suspicious' or 'mysterious'. Really, I think she's just reaching out of a sense of desperation, but I'm doing my best to humor her.
Kyon: ...Why is he suspicious?
Haruhi: He's staring at the cherry trees. No one stares at the cherry trees at this time of year! He's probably receiving messages from his superiors.
Why? Why is that the first thing you assume? In all probability, he's just reminiscing about his recently deceased wife, who he walked with under the cherry trees every day for nearly fifty years. I bet they lived all alone in a tiny house, all their children and grandchildren having moved away to the big city many years ago, and unable to support themselves on his measly pension, they were both forced to get part-time jobs even in the years when they should have been enjoying the fruits of a long life. Last week, she had a heart attack due to overwork, and on her deathbed, she made him promise to continue their daily walks, under the shade of the cherry trees, in her memory.
Kyon: I'd like to thank the Academy.
Haruhi: Not now, Kyon! Look, he's getting away! Let's follow him secretly!
Kyon: Look, he's probably not even worth investig-- she's not listening again.
Sigh.
We tailed the old man for about ten minutes, but Haruhi lost interest when it became plain he was just going to the residential district.
Kyon: What were you expecting? Him to just walk into a phone booth and disappear?
Haruhi: Exactly! You're getting better at this! Hey, what's that over there?
The “that over there” turned out to be a defaced telephone pole... someone had scratched some strange-looking characters into the wood, probably a hoodlum with a pocket knife and nothing better to do.
Haruhi: Pay attention, Kyon. This is clearly a message from higher beings, placed here for us to find. If we can decipher its meaning, we can unlock the secrets of the universe!
I have two questions: How often do you find these around, and did you hit your head this morning?
...And, actually...
I turned my head to the side a little.
Kyon: I think it just reads “question authority”... the person who wrote this must have been terrible with a pocket-knife.
Haruhi was copying the poorly-written characters down in a notebook, clearly intent on deciphering them later.
Kyon: Were you even listening to me?
Haruhi: Come on, help me look! There's bound to be more around here somewhere.
Eh?
To my surprise, there was. We found several more pocket-knife scratchings, reading, in order of discovery: “oh god, they're eating me from the inside”, “everything you've ever known is a lie”, something that looked like French or some other Western language, the only word of which I could read being “bastardes”, and “he was delicious”.
...I stand corrected. This was the work of a lunatic, rather than a hoodlum.
Haruhi had finished copying them down into that little spiral notebook.
Haruhi: There we are! You're helping me decipher these later, understand?
Kyon: I just read them out to you!
Haruhi: Ooooh! Look at that, Kyon!
It's like looking after a child...
A small crowd of people had gathered in front of a nearby house, and as I got closer, dragged by Haruhi, I could also see that police had cordoned it off, drawing attention.
Haruhi, as expected, started demanding information from the nearest onlooker.
Haruhi: Excuse me, but could you please tell us what happened here?
Polite only to adults, as usual. And don't include me in this! For the purposes of your investigations, I don't know you.
The onlooker, a middle-aged housewife of the kind that enjoys gossip perhaps a little too much, described with relish the rumor that the owner of the house had been found dead this morning; apparently, he was murdered.
...A bit unsettling, but I suppose these things happen. Frankly, I'm more worried about--
Haruhi: Thank you very much.
Her reaction to this.
I was immediately dragged by the front of my shirt to the other side of the street. The shine in Haruhi's eyes foretold exactly what she was going to say.
Kyon: No.
Displeasure.
Haruhi: What? What's that supposed to mean? I haven't even said anything yet!
Kyon: We are not breaking through a police line to go search the house for clues! That's both too far and too dangerous.
Haruhi: But it's a real murder! This could be the center of a vast conspiracy!
Please, you just want to play detective again and, not only that, this time the killer actually exists... Do you have any idea what the consequences would be if he was still lurking around? Your investigation might be cut short sooner than you'd like...
Haruhi: Hmph. Whatever. Let's find something else to do.
We were approaching a train crossing, which I recognized as the one at which Haruhi had once confessed her feelings of insignificance to me. Suddenly, Haruhi stopped short, without saying a word.
This is deja vu, but thankfully not in the same way as last month.
Haruhi: You know... you're not being very helpful.
Kyon: I was only trying to stop you from getting either killed or arrested. I'm perfectly willing to help when there isn't a danger of either of those.
Haruhi: You were the one who asked to come along with me! I could have done this on my own!
Kyon: It's a good thing I did, too, since you might have been taken by the police if not for my intervention!
Haruhi: I don't have time for this...
Kyon: Why are you even angry? I haven't done a--
She turned away, presenting me with the back of her head as she stalked across the tracks. The gates closed behind her. A train was coming.
Deja vu, again... but I'm on the other side this time.
Does that mean something?
---
IF Haruhi=19 THEN
...Is it really right, to just let her walk away like that?
Every attempt to cheer her up, or at least defuse her incredible temper, ends up backfiring or escalating into an argument. Trying to keep Haruhi happy is futile.
Yet is it all right to just let her go, and let this train come in between us?
...More importantly, is that something that I want?
I could see the train coming out of the corner of my eye. It would come in only a few seconds, separating us, perhaps only for a minute, perhaps forever.
I don't know.
In those few seconds, time seemed to slow down, like in a bad action film.
During those few seconds, a voice seemed to echo out of the headphones still slung around my neck.
Missed opportunities suck. For what it's worth, whatever you do, always give it your all!
I gave it my all.
Kyon: HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !
Haruhi: ...Hah?
Time slowed down even further.
The train was almost upon us.
I stepped forward... and hurdled over one gate, landing square in the path of the train.
I had no chance to react. It would perhaps be three seconds, maybe less, until I was no longer a part of this world.
Then I realized I still wasn't really giving it my all. So I did.
I hurdled over the next gate, landing right beside Haruhi, whose face was frozen in shock.
The train sped by. Time returned to normal.
Kyon: Never stop dreaming!
Believe in you who believes in yourself who believes in me who believes in circular statements!
Haruhi: ...
...Wait. What did I just say?
In fact, what did I just do? ...Did I seriously just run across the tracks when a train was coming?
I... I think I did, yes.
Haruhi: Are you an idiot!?
Kyon: Uh.
Haruhi: Weren't you the one just telling me to be careful!?
Kyon: Well, yes...
Haruhi: Honestly...
She sighs. I feel as though our positions have been reversed. It's not a good feeling.
Haruhi: Well, whatever, it can't be helped. I'm getting hungry, let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
---
ELSE
It doesn't mean anything. A train is a train is a train. What else could it mean?
I lose sight of Haruhi, and the train passes without incident.
Except... when I saw Haruhi again, she had turned around, facing me once more.
Haruhi: Hey.
Kyon: ...Yo.
I was an idiot to worry. After the gates lift, I cross the tracks, tracing her path from earlier.
Haruhi: Thank god, I thought you'd left.
Kyon: Why would I leave? And why do you care.
Haruhi: Hmph.
She shrugged.
Haruhi: I... wanted to thank you. For looking out for me earlier. ...Not that I still don't want to investigate that murder, of course.
Kyon: Of course... It's no trouble, though. You're my Chief, after all. It'd be bad if something happened to you.
Haruhi looked somewhat surprised at my proclamation.
Haruhi: ...
Kyon: ...
Haruhi: A-anyway, I'm hungry, so let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
---
The following mysterious event occurred while we were sitting on a park bench, eating my mother's delicious sandwiches.
Kyon: ...You know, I'm surprised you still haven't commented on these.
I tap her headphones.
Kyon: If you want a mysterious event, I think they qualify.
Haruhi: Hmm? Why? Do you hear the tortured screams of restless spirits while you wear them or something?
Kyon: ...Something like that... but don't you recognize them?
Haruhi: ...Should I?
Kyon: They're yours.
Haruhi: I've never owned a pair of headphones in my life.
Kyon: ...You sure? They have your name inscribed on the headband... and the music on the xPod that came with them kind of fits you, to be honest...
Haruhi: Well, give them here and I'll see for myself.
That might be dangerous. Be patient and give me a minute.
To take the headphones off without activating them, I guess I'll have to slide them backward, behind my head, and then lift them high up, making sure they don't go anywhere near my ears.
Haruhi is giving me her are-you-stupid look as she watches my minor gymnastics. No matter, I can finally get rid of them now.
I hand her both the headphones and the xPod. Free. I'm finally free.
Haruhi: COOL... SHRINE? ...That's not my name.
Kyon: I know that. ...I think it's the translated kanji reading of “Suzumiya”.
Haruhi: Only if you're an idiot who doesn't pay attention in English class. Admit it, Kyon. You're just trying to pawn stuff you don't want off on me. And this...
She holds up the xPod.
Haruhi: Why did you paint it yellow? Does it even work anymore?
Kyon: Surprisingly, yes... and why are you so sure those are mine!?
Haruhi: Please. They go perfectly with that street punk look you're currently sporting.
Kyon: It doesn't look that bad!
Haruhi: Yes it does. Anyway, you can have these back; I appreciate the gift, but I don't want your old crap, Kyon.
She moves to put the headphones back on my head.
Kyon: Hey, Haruhi, wait! Don't do--
FLASH.
Enjoy. By the way, 19 is the max number of Haruhi points one can get.
As for music...
For Day 0, I can just use the original music from the anime. Nothing new or needed there.
I really want to get my hands on that epic theme from the end of E8, though...
"I'd like to thank the Academy" ...! : D Great job! Well-written. These are the instalments I like best; I'm looking forward to more.
snip...
It was an excellent light romp with Haruhi. He should be happy Haruhi didn't take him dumpster diving to look for mysterious events. :p
Still, some stuff...
Haruhi: There we are! You're helping me decipher these later, understand?
Kyon: I just read them out to you!
Kyon's answer here doesn't really sound like a refusal, or a proper reply.
I stepped forward... and hurdled over one gate, landing square in the path of the train.
I had no chance to react. It would perhaps be three seconds, maybe less, until I was no longer a part of this world.
Then I realized I still wasn't really giving it my all. So I did.
That's a great line. :D Realizing that you haven't done your best when you put yourself into the path of certain death.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-05, 05:08
Kyon's answer here doesn't really sound like a refusal, or a proper reply.
There's nothing to decipher, which is his point; they're just really poorly carved characters that look almost alien just because of how bad they are.
Kyon reads them to her, out loud, and she ignores him because it's more fun if she pretends they're code for something else... although, what they actually say is mysterious enough. Which is the whole joke.
That's a great line. :D Realizing that you haven't done your best when you put yourself into the path of certain death.
The quickly-becoming-a-running-joke is that Kyon can dodge anything if properly motivated. He's like Claire Stanfield but less psychotic.
Except when pitted against a truck. Trucks are his one weakness.
Edit: On a rewatch, he DID dodge the truck... he only got hit by the firework... that he was holding.
I guess he really CAN dodge anything.
There's nothing to decipher, which is his point; they're just really poorly carved characters that look almost alien just because of how bad they are.
Kyon reads them to her, out loud, and she ignores him because it's more fun if she pretends they're code for something else... although, what they actually say is mysterious enough. Which is the whole joke.
Ok, I think I get it now. I was imagining a hidden code that Haruhi wants to find like the insane wall scribblings of John Nash in A Beautiful Mind. :heh:
The quickly-becoming-a-running-joke is that Kyon can dodge anything if properly motivated. He's like Claire Stanfield but less psychotic.
Except when pitted against a truck. Trucks are his one weakness.
Edit: On a rewatch, he DID dodge the truck... he only got hit by the firework... that he was holding.
I guess he really CAN dodge anything.
EDIT : He can dodge anything except Haruhi's tackles then. Including earlier this day, she managed to tackle him later in Editor in Chief.
Also...
Mysterious Event
Haruhi: Hmm? Why? Do you hear the tortured screams of restless spirits while you wear them or something?
So close, Haruhi. So close.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-05, 05:34
I rewatched the last episode of Haruhi-chan... the final lines are incredibly appropriate for what we're doing.
"So what is the genre of this game, anyway?"
"...A love story?"
"But so far, I'm seeing blood in every part of it."
Ok, I think I get it now. I was imagining a hidden code that Haruhi wants to find like the insane wall scribblings of John Nash in A Beautiful Mind. :heh:
Well, that IS what she's looking for... not that there's any there to find, but...
EDIT : He can dodge anything except Haruhi's tackles then. Including earlier this day, she managed to tackle him later in Editor in Chief.
So Haruhi is his one weakness.
...That's very fitting.
Not too much to say about this scene. Really liked it, and glad that Kyon gets to have a blackout in front of Haruhi. I can so see her thinking he's being a dick to her at first, and then quickly escalate into a panic when he stops responding to her.
Haruhi: Yes it does. Anyway, you can have these back; I appreciate the gift, but I don't want your old crap, Kyon.
She moves to put the headphones back on my head.
Kyon: Hey, Haruhi, wait! Don't do--
FLASH.
and Kyon turns to a girl :heh: ... kidding (it'll probably sound like a flashbang...)
swtrooper42
2009-12-06, 00:58
Why? Why is that the first thing you assume? In all probability, he's just reminiscing about his recently deceased wife, who he walked with under the cherry trees every day for nearly fifty years. I bet they lived all alone in a tiny house, all their children and grandchildren having moved away to the big city many years ago, and unable to support themselves on his measly pension, they were both forced to get part-time jobs even in the years when they should have been enjoying the fruits of a long life. Last week, she had a heart attack due to overwork, and on her deathbed, she made him promise to continue their daily walks, under the shade of the cherry trees, in her memory.
Kyon: I'd like to thank the Academy.
Haruhi: Not now, Kyon! Look, he's getting away! Let's follow him secretly!
Kyon can be such a ham sometimes.:D
...Is it really right, to just let her walk away like that?
Every attempt to cheer her up, or at least defuse her incredible temper, ends up backfiring or escalating into an argument. Trying to keep Haruhi happy is futile.
Yet is it all right to just let her go, and let this train come in between us?
...More importantly, is that something that I want?
I could see the train coming out of the corner of my eye. It would come in only a few seconds, separating us, perhaps only for a minute, perhaps forever.
I don't know.
In those few seconds, time seemed to slow down, like in a bad action film.
I gave it my all.
Kyon: HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !
Haruhi: ...Hah?
Time slowed down even further.
The train was almost upon us.
I stepped forward... and hurdled over one gate, landing square in the path of the train.
I had no chance to react. It would perhaps be three seconds, maybe less, until I was no longer a part of this world.
Then I realized I still wasn't really giving it my all. So I did.
I hurdled over the next gate, landing right beside Haruhi, whose face was frozen in shock.
The train sped by. Time returned to normal.
Kyon: Never stop dreaming!
Haruhi: ...
...Wait. What did I just say?
In fact, what did I just do? ...Did I seriously just run across the tracks when a train was coming?
I... I think I did, yes.
Haruhi: Are you an idiot!?
Kyon: Uh.
Haruhi: Weren't you the one just telling me to be careful!?
Kyon: Well, yes...
Haruhi: Honestly...
She sighs. I feel as though our positions have been reversed. It's not a good feeling.
Haruhi: Well, whatever, it can't be helped. I'm getting hungry, let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
Hooray for drama! Is there any reason that this is only for max points?
It doesn't mean anything. A train is a train is a train. What else could it mean?
I lose sight of Haruhi, and the train passes without incident.
Except... when I saw Haruhi again, she had turned around, facing me once more.
Haruhi: Hey.
Kyon: ...Yo.
I was an idiot to worry. After the gates lift, I cross the tracks, tracing her path from earlier.
Haruhi: Thank god, I thought you'd left.
Kyon: Why would I leave? And why do you care.
Haruhi: Hmph.
She shrugged.
Haruhi: I... wanted to thank you. For looking out for me earlier. ...Not that I still don't want to investigate that murder, of course.
Kyon: Of course... It's no trouble, though. You're my Chief, after all. It'd be bad if something happened to you.
Haruhi looked somewhat surprised at my proclamation.
Haruhi: ...
Kyon: ...
Haruhi: A-anyway, I'm hungry, so let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
Somehow, this feels better than the 16 point version. Maybe because I can imagine Haruhi turning away and slightly blushing. The dere in her always gets me.
Yeah, I say switch them too.
Fuckin' hell Kaisos you are a good writer.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 02:08
Kyon can be such a ham sometimes.:D
It's the headphones. Mostly.
Hooray for drama! Is there any reason that this is only for max points?
Points aren't just a measure of how much a girl likes the protagonist, they're also a measure of how much the protagonist likes the girl.
Kyon is not going to dodge trains unless he really, really, really likes Haruhi.
Also I couldn't find a way to give important CGs to the other option, which is the standard benefit of maxing out points for a given girl.
Somehow, this feels better than the 16 point version. Maybe because I can imagine Haruhi turning away and slightly blushing. The dere in her always gets me.
As above, we have sprites for that. Or will. Eventually.
Dammit.
Fuckin' hell Kaisos you are a good writer.
I ain't that great. God Haruhi is fucking hard to write.
SgtHydra
2009-12-06, 10:04
I ain't that great. God Haruhi is fucking hard to write.
Any tips to give?
snip[
A little part of me wants to hear the intro from either Lost My Music or Sorairo Days as Kyon is about to jump in front of the train.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 16:58
A little part of me wants to hear the intro from either Lost My Music or Sorairo Days as Kyon is about to jump in front of the train.
No love for Parallel Days (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=314QrPHUDVk&feature=related)?
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 18:12
You know what, you could use the Karaoke versions of a lot of the image songs for Haruhi, and even K-On, and they would work GREAT.
ryanasaurus0077
2009-12-06, 18:23
You know what, you could use the Karaoke versions of a lot of the image songs for Haruhi, and even K-On, and they would work GREAT.
I second that. Better still, why not add some from Lucky Star?
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 18:28
Try this one on for size
http://www.mediafire.com/?zn0oooonjlt
On top of that, I have the entire actual soundtrack for K-On (as in the background music played throughout the entire show) so I can give you guys that.
DJ_RockmanX
2009-12-06, 18:28
Just because they're Kyoto Animation does not make them relevant.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 18:30
Well I'm not just suggesting them because they are from Kyoani shows, I can just tell that they are very well suited for VNs.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 18:50
I tried to avoid mentioning it because you clearly enjoyed it, but most people around here do not like K-On. :heh:
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 18:51
That's fine, but I mean it's just the soundtrack from it and music from that character image songs (with no vocals).
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 18:52
That's fine, but I mean it's just the soundtrack from it and music from that character image songs (with no vocals).
Somehow I'd like to stick to the Haruhi BGMs for now. They, well, fit better.
No offense or anything, but...
As for leitmotifs, aside from the ones that already exist in the series (Higeki no Heroine (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GN9mYb2RGk), etc.), remixing stuff like the off-vocal for Parallel Days would be ideal.
Actually, I might as well say now... I'd really like several remixes of Itsumo no Fuukei (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5nJdptkp4&feature=related), given Kyon and Kyonko's role in the VN... A good start would be turning it into a leitmotif for Kyonko. Or hell, I can just use it as-is for her, given how it sounds already.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 19:01
Well I mean half of these image songs aren't even on youtube. I would even go so far as to say something like Tsuruya's Megassa Koukishin instrumental could fit very well. I would at least give them a listen.
But yeah, it's up to you in the end I suppose. Just trying to make some suggestions.
I can see remixing working pretty good if you can find someone that's good at it. They're probably easier to find than a legitimate composer.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 19:06
Well I mean half of these image songs aren't even on youtube. I would even go so far as to say something like Tsuruya's Megassa Koukishin instrumental could fit very well. I would at least give them a listen.
I have every Haruhi track ever created.
But yeah, it's up to you in the end I suppose. Just trying to make some suggestions.
And we appreciate it.
I can see remixing working pretty good if you can find someone that's good at it. They're probably easier to find than a legitimate composer.
I was kind of hoping our artist could hook us up with someone, since he posts on OCRemix a fair bit... but he hasn't been around in ages.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 19:16
I was more referring to the more obscure K-On character songs but yeah, if you're not interested then you're not interested XD
If you're looking for some remixers, I think you should look at Dwelling of Duels, and vgmix for that matter, there are some amazing guys over there. They haven't been nearly as active as they used to be but they're worth a look.
http://dod.vgmix.com/links.php
http://www.vgmix.com/
I mean these guys can make just about anything out of anything.
About the current topic: I agree remix are a nice idea. Just using Haruhi's tracks is good enough and simpler then making new ones. Even if the overall mood of the story is different, a good remix can fix it.
Since someone mentioned K-ON, I will say I also like the idea of using another KyoAni tracks. I mean, if it is needed, I see no problem stealing borrowing from another animes, but, if we are going to do that, staying mostly in the same anime studio is better as a form of shout out. Of course, K-ON is to moe for what we are doing, however, if a particular music is good for some kind of scene (like the more calm and normal ones from the first week) I cant see why not to use. Of couse we should prioritize Haruhi tracks, but i vedicardi have suggestions we should use.
Also, I agree about using Itsumo no Fuukei as Kyonko's leitmotif. This music is awesome and I already relate it to Kyon anyway.
Now, about the last scene:
Why? Why is that the first thing you assume? In all probability, he's just reminiscing about his recently deceased wife, who he walked with under the cherry trees every day for nearly fifty years. I bet they lived all alone in a tiny house, all their children and grandchildren having moved away to the big city many years ago, and unable to support themselves on his measly pension, they were both forced to get part-time jobs even in the years when they should have been enjoying the fruits of a long life. Last week, she had a heart attack due to overwork, and on her deathbed, she made him promise to continue their daily walks, under the shade of the cherry trees, in her memory.
Lol for that answer. Btw, I think I will need some help to separate that in the game. This wouldn't fit in a single box...
IF Haruhi=19 THEN
...Is it really right, to just let her walk away like that?
Every attempt to cheer her up, or at least defuse her incredible temper, ends up backfiring or escalating into an argument. Trying to keep Haruhi happy is futile.
Yet is it all right to just let her go, and let this train come in between us?
...More importantly, is that something that I want?
I could see the train coming out of the corner of my eye. It would come in only a few seconds, separating us, perhaps only for a minute, perhaps forever.
I don't know.
In those few seconds, time seemed to slow down, like in a bad action film.
During those few seconds, a voice seemed to echo out of the headphones still slung around my neck.
Missed opportunities suck. For what it's worth, whatever you do, always give it your all!
I gave it my all.
Kyon: HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !
Haruhi: ...Hah?
Time slowed down even further.
The train was almost upon us.
I stepped forward... and hurdled over one gate, landing square in the path of the train.
I had no chance to react. It would perhaps be three seconds, maybe less, until I was no longer a part of this world.
Then I realized I still wasn't really giving it my all. So I did.
I hurdled over the next gate, landing right beside Haruhi, whose face was frozen in shock.
The train sped by. Time returned to normal.
Kyon: Never stop dreaming!
Believe in you who believes in yourself who believes in me who believes in circular statements!
Haruhi: ...
...Wait. What did I just say?
In fact, what did I just do? ...Did I seriously just run across the tracks when a train was coming?
I... I think I did, yes.
Haruhi: Are you an idiot!?
Kyon: Uh.
Haruhi: Weren't you the one just telling me to be careful!?
Kyon: Well, yes...
Haruhi: Honestly...
She sighs. I feel as though our positions have been reversed. It's not a good feeling.
Haruhi: Well, whatever, it can't be helped. I'm getting hungry, let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
So, the Headphones give the power of Hot Blood. Anyone wearing it becomes as hotblooded as Haruki. :p That would be awesome.
ELSE
It doesn't mean anything. A train is a train is a train. What else could it mean?
I lose sight of Haruhi, and the train passes without incident.
Except... when I saw Haruhi again, she had turned around, facing me once more.
Haruhi: Hey.
Kyon: ...Yo.
I was an idiot to worry. After the gates lift, I cross the tracks, tracing her path from earlier.
Haruhi: Thank god, I thought you'd left.
Kyon: Why would I leave? And why do you care.
Haruhi: Hmph.
She shrugged.
Haruhi: I... wanted to thank you. For looking out for me earlier. ...Not that I still don't want to investigate that murder, of course.
Kyon: Of course... It's no trouble, though. You're my Chief, after all. It'd be bad if something happened to you.
Haruhi looked somewhat surprised at my proclamation.
Haruhi: ...
Kyon: ...
Haruhi: A-anyway, I'm hungry, so let's take the train into town or something.
Kyon: Actually...
I've just remembered.
Kyon: I have sandwiches.
Heh, all the exaggerated scene over there prooves meaningless now. =P
Btw, here is where it could be one "failure scenario" I mentioned other day. if you don't have enough flags for Haruhi, she could just go away there, even tough you met her earlier.
PP:
I was more referring to the more obscure K-On character songs but yeah, if you're not interested then you're not interested XD
I don't know much of K-ON, but there are some of these that aren't too moe moe? I really like the ED, and it has a very different style from the other songs of the show, so I wonder if tehre are some other that don't follow the usuall style.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 20:07
Lol for that answer. Btw, I think I will need some help to separate that in the game. This wouldn't fit in a single box...
Every sentence.
So, the Headphones give the power of Hot Blood. Anyone wearing it becomes as hotblooded as Haruki. :p That would be awesome.
Give them to either Asahina and see what happens.
...I have this mental image of Mikuru going ORA ORA ORA ORA ORAAAAAAA now.
I don't know much of K-ON, but there are some of these that aren't too moe moe? I really like the ED, and it has a very different style from the other songs of the show, so I wonder if tehre are some other that don't follow the usuall style.
I must be the only person alive who hated that ED... I vastly prefer the OP (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KibiOQby8Ts).
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 20:08
I don't know much of K-ON, but there are some of these that aren't too moe moe? I really like the ED, and it has a very different style from the other songs of the show, so I wonder if tehre are some other that don't follow the usuall style.
I'm not too sure of what you mean by the "usual" style? I mean, there are two heavy metal songs for the teacher character, which is really out there for sure. What what you consider "musical" moe, if you could give a specific example.
The problem with these types of songs is that they are so intense and specifically structured that I can't imagine it being at all easy to fit them into a VN.
------------
I like the OP more too. Far more technical proficiency involved in it. Great bass line, insanely tight rhythm guitar. The keyboard solo is a bit silly IMO.
I'm not too sure of what you mean by the "usual" style? I mean, there are two heavy metal songs for the teacher character, which is really out there for sure. What what you consider "musical" moe, if you could give a specific example.
You see, I haven't heared any song but the ones that are in the anime (and not any that are in the last few episodes). So I am only speaking about 3 or 4 songs here. :p
For the "musical moe" I mean the OP and Fuwa Fuwa Times. They are just cute. :p The ED is less so. (don't get me wrong, I actually like these musics)
However, I have to say I am havly inflenced by the lyrics. I don't pay too much attention on the instumentals (I don't have a good enough ear to separate it from the girl singing), so I believe the musics may be more fitting if you ignore the cute voice.
Anyway, I don't have any idea of how the character songs are. If you have any suggestion, please post here.
The problem with these types of songs is that they are so intense and specifically structured that I can't imagine it being at all easy to fit them into a VN.
There is that too. But haven't you said there are some musics that are fitting for a VN?
Every sentence.
Well, some sentences may be put together, like the first 3. But it is a good start, anyway.
Give them to either Asahina and see what happens.
...I have this mental image of Mikuru going ORA ORA ORA ORA ORAAAAAAA now.
That would be hilarious. :D
I must be the only person alive who hated that ED... I vastly prefer the OP (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KibiOQby8Ts).
I like the OP too. The real one, tough :heh:. I just mentioned the ED because it is more 'different' from the other ones. I have to say I like the ED better, however.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 20:56
There is that too. But haven't you said there are some musics that are fitting for a VN?
Yeah, I posted a link to one of them on the bottom of the previous page. Give it a listen.
Yeah they all sound a lot less cute without vocals. Just nice and calm generally.
No love for Parallel Days (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=314QrPHUDVk&feature=related)?
I have to admit, I'm not familiar with it. And it was mostly because of the energetic feeling of those intros (because, let's face it, if you can listen to Sorairo Days and not get a little pumped up, you're not human).
If I had some recording stuff I would do my best to do some violin/guitar/piano for Itsumo no Fuukei... that's Kyon's leitmotif, right?
/edit Cageyake girls is rock. Electric guitar is power-chording all the way through it.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 21:49
Definitely not power-chording the way through XD
A lot of tricky alternate picking sections
But yeah it's a rock song.
vivify93
2009-12-06, 21:54
I must be the only person alive who hated that ED
I loathe the full-size version and I've never even watched the show.
EDIT: let's stay happy
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-06, 21:56
If I had some recording stuff I would do my best to do some violin/guitar/piano for Itsumo no Fuukei... that's Kyon's leitmotif, right?
Kyonko's, as well. Kyon and Kyonko are the only pair who have the exact same leitmotif; kinda symbolic, etc.
Worst anime ever.
Way to alienate useful members there, vivi.
Definitely not power-chording the way through XD
A lot of tricky alternate picking sections
But yeah it's a rock song.
They're not that tricky. Unless I'm doing it wrong.
...I'm probably doing it wrong, aren't I.
Worst anime ever.
Normally I wouldn't counternance launching this into a K-on blah blah blah debate, but after having actually watched the damn thing (and having decided long ago that it looked like 'typical moe-fluff'), I ended up concluding a) It was typical moe-fluff, b) it was pretty good typical moe-fluff, c) it had rocking songs and d) I'm a sucker for anything that actually animates people playing their goddamn instruments properly.
K-On is far from a masterpiece of anime, but it's nowhere near 'worst anime ever'.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 22:08
They're not that tricky. Unless I'm doing it wrong.
...I'm probably doing it wrong, aren't I.
You can buy the sheet music and find out if you really want to know XD
I don't think it's that great either, but it sure as hell is entertaining, fun to watch. The lyrics of the songs are generally terrible for that matter. Don't Say Lazy? I mean really it's a joke to me. I see the whole show as a comedy and very little more.
wittyusername
2009-12-06, 22:10
I loathe the full-size version and I've never even watched the show. I never will thanks to Danchou showing me the shitty "MOAYMOAYKEEOOOOOOOOOOONDESUDESUUSED" scenes.
Worst anime ever.
EDIT: "Never-ending girls' song"? Jesus on toast, if K-ON! never ended, I'd kill myself.
I dislike K-ON, but I don't think it's the worst anime ever, exactly. I may have spent too much time thinking of ways Mio could be murdered, but if she and her Greek flag-like panties had been kept out of the show, and if there had been more Ritsu more Azusa more Azusa-related copypasta (http://www.atalude.net/2009/06/06/k-on-10-cute-not-pedo/) more ridiculously catchy music and fewer snacks/shots of staircases and whatnot while the club played their instruments, it could have been better. Not good, but better.
I see the whole show as a comedy and very little more.
I see the show as roughly 25 minutes of moeblobs being moe, instead of comedy. I do see the crazy fans of the series as a comedy, though. Because...they're crazy.
Anyway, I found some Itsumo no Fuueki sheet music and am trying it out on violin.
I'll upload a quick mixtape.
/edit It's for piano, I'm going to retranscribe it by hand for seperate violin parts first.
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 22:19
I see the show as roughly 25 minutes of moeblobs being moe, instead of comedy. I do see the crazy fans of the series as a comedy, though. Because...they're crazy.
I guess I find moe funny then, huh. I dunno. It was just something calm and relaxing really to watch whenever that I could laugh at and enjoy.
more Azusa-related copypasta
I haven't laughed that hard in like a whole day XD
Oh and Sawako is the best character of the show, no matter what anyone says. /:
BTW, the dude who's blog you linked was at SMASH. The hell? I think I might even have seen him there.
vivify93
2009-12-06, 22:33
OK, now everyone edit their quotes and posts etc. to make everyone happy.
I am a moron.
CrowKenobi
2009-12-06, 23:29
Well, if you need a perfect song for a heavily emotional moment that isn't covered by a Haruhi theme (even though it could be recognized easily) is "pure snows (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0d2UXM5xqs)" (piano version) from Kanon. :D
vedicardi
2009-12-06, 23:41
The song Canon itself is always a good place to go. Using classical music might actually be kind of interesting, hm?
Probably the ones that can fit in all of the scenes:
Chase scene of Kyon vs Yuki (the dodgeball scene of Haruhi-chan, Mikuru's in a Pinch song [the movie song])
Everyday ordinary music (the story mode in Gekitou [think it was borrowed from the everyday music of Kyon...])
Something scary in the VN (Lucky Star episode 6 horror song, K-ON's horror song or something)
The Organization's base (Space Theme from Gekitou game Haruhi)
hmm... I did send plenty of songs....
Dating scene [where Haruhi/Tsuruya/or some other girl goes with Kyon] (finding a cute song in K-ON... )
(all I can remember... can probably use a bunch of songs)
vedicardi
2009-12-07, 00:05
Everything about your post is pretty broad XD
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-07, 01:19
I will say now that we're not using tracks from K-On.
Haruhi, remixes from Haruhi, original themes, or bust.
Nanao-kun
2009-12-07, 01:29
I will say now that we're not using tracks from K-On.
Haruhi, remixes from Haruhi, original themes, or bust.
Sounds good to me.
I will say now that we're not using tracks from K-On.
Haruhi, remixes from Haruhi, original themes, or bust.
How intolerant of you. :p
I agree, tough. I believe Haruhi's track list is large enough for a VN. Even if K-ON! do has some musics that could fit (like the one vedicardi posted two pages ago, it is a good one), Haruhi probably has a similar song as well. Therefore there is no need about using K-ON musics.
We still need a Mind Fuck track, however. I mean, Haruhi don't have a music for the green scenes. A remix could do fine, but it should be a real good remix.
vedicardi
2009-12-07, 01:39
Mind fuck? I'd say one of Asakura's image songs would work well if I'm getting what you're saying.
Haven't read the VN archives yet?
But, yeah, now you mentioned, Asakura's image song could be fitting. Just COOL EDITION, however. However, giving the importance of such scenes, only one track is not enough.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-07, 01:57
There's that one theme of Nagato's from E8 that sounded fucking creepy...
I don't know this one. A name please? (I can't google it without a name :p)
I'm remembering it was in one of the E8s as Kyon calls out to Nagato outside the restaraunt.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-07, 05:38
I don't know this one. A name please? (I can't google it without a name :p)
It hasn't been collected on a soundtrack yet, to my knowledge.
I'm remembering it was in one of the E8s as Kyon calls out to Nagato outside the restaraunt.
Yup, I believe it was... E8 IV? Someone who still has the episodes could check, if possible.
Anyway, new write-up.
Flashes in Space- Memories in Pieces (SUZUMIYA)
While I was sitting in class, bored, it happened.
I got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea.
And it changed everything.
Kyon was falling asleep. Lazy. She has to hear this.
I grab her ponytail and pull. Crap, pulled too hard, she smacked her head on the desk.
“What the hell are you doing!?”
“I finally got it!”
She's pissed, but bah. She'll come around later.
“I finally got it!”
I'm too excited to express myself. God her hair is soft.
“Why didn't I realize this before?”
“Realize what?”
“If it doesn't exist, then I just have to make one myself?”
“Make one what?”
“A CLUB!”
The whole class is watching us. Just wait. Soon, you won't be able to look away.
FLASH
We need a computer. I've brought everything I can think of from home to furnish the brigade room, but I couldn't convince my parents to let me borrow their PC for a year or two. Useless.
“We need a computer!”
I declare our need, out loud, to the world. Despite this, no computer comes.
"It's a tragedy! We're living in the information age, and yet a Brigade as important as mine doesn't even have a single computer!"
Still not working. Can't expect that to work all the time.
Kyon is looking at me like I'm an idiot. She'll come around soon.
Mitsuuru-kun is here too, cringing at the volume of my voice. Oh come on, I'm not that loud! Man up, man up! It's all part of the plan!
Don't look so confused now; I'm just getting to the best part!
Nagato-chan is sitting in her chair, as usual, reading a book, as usual. It's almost cute, like some kinda anime character... I'm so glad I found her here.
Wait. That's not right.
Where was I? We need a computer! I invade Kyon's personal space.
“Let's go scrounge one up!”
We're bound to find one somewhere. In fact...
“You're not going to rob an electronics store, are you?”
Nah, I got something better in mind. What better way to get one (other than instant gratification) than stealing one from those sluts next door!
FLASH
"To find aliens, time-travelers, and espers, and hang out with them!”
This is my proclamation, which is the beginning of our takeover of the universe.
Everyone stares at me in either shock or horror. Everyone except Itsuki-kun, who looks amused.
This is the reaction I was hoping for. Are you all watching? You can't look away, can you? You'll never be able too look at me.
And so the True Mission of the SOS Brigade begins.
FLASH
Nothing. Is going. Right.
We couldn't find anything at all on Saturday, Kyon spent the day flirting with Yuuki and Mikuru-chan, and, as a result, I realized that I'm falling for a girl, AGAIN.
God! Damn! It.
"Hey, where'd you go yesterday? I thought we were going to have some sort of debriefing?"
Good question, Kyon! Let me convey to you my frustration. Or my melancholy, as it were.
“Bah! I already had the debriefing on my own yesterday!”
It's all part of the plan. All part of the plan.
Kyon and I talked about love.
I've decided it's like a mental illness... that way, it's not my fault, right? It's not my fault that I think you're cute and ARRRRRRGH.
I don't have time for this. I don't have time for a girlfriend. What's gonna happen to the SOS Brigade if I do, huh? That's where I should be focusing my energy. All part of the plan, yeah.
"Look, why not create a club that involves some form of actual entertainment? That would attract more members for sure."
Great advice, except no.
"I only founded the SOS Brigade because all the other clubs were too boring. I've even recruited a loli with tits and a Mysterious Transfer Student!”
Kyon doesn't respond at all. She's not gonna come around.
That's it. I'm out.
FLASH
Train tracks, train passing by, drowning out even my thoughts.
I just poured out all my frustrations, all my melancholy, at Kyon, and all that I get back is:
“Is that so?”
I was kinda hoping for a hug there, girl. That would have been nice. Not that a guy like me would enjoy it, I mean. Totally.
I'm not making any sense.
Let's just go home.
When I turn to leave, however, I notice that something's wrong.
Kyon is supposed to be a tiny girl with a hot ponytail and a perpetually bored expression, which is unintentionally cute. Kyon is not supposed to be a tall guy with a mullet and a perpetually bored expression, which isn't cute at all.
Taller than me, even.
No one's taller than me. Something's wrong here.
I look down, and see a sailor uniform, complete with skirt. ...Are these breasts?
Squishy.
Wait, that's not what's important now! What's important is that something is really, seriously, totally wrong!
Who am
FLASH
Always remember: What is true for one, is true for the other.
FLASH
And then I wake up.
"You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich... with ARSENIC SAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUCEEEEEEE!"
That is all. More tomorrow. Please read and comment, etc.
Some of it is a little blatent - I'll answer in the most surly manner to - No, I don't think even Haruki thinks like that. The rest is very frenetic, very volatile, very Haruki.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-07, 06:02
Some of it is a little blatent - I'll answer in the most surly manner to - No, I don't think even Haruki thinks like that. The rest is very frenetic, very volatile, very Haruki.
Bah. Fix'd.
I seem to remember having, you know, editors to fix things like this. >_>
Anything else?
It hasn't been collected on a soundtrack yet, to my knowledge.
Yup, I believe it was... E8 IV? Someone who still has the episodes could check, if possible.
Anyway, new write-up.
Flashes in Space- Memories in Pieces (SUZUMIYA)
While I was sitting in class, bored, it happened.
I got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea.
And it changed everything.
Kyon was falling asleep. Lazy. She has to hear this.
I grab her ponytail and pull. Crap, pulled too hard, she smacked her head on the desk.
“What the hell are you doing!?”
“I finally got it!”
She's pissed, but bah. She'll come around later.
“I finally got it!”
I'm too excited to express myself. God her hair is soft.
“Why didn't I realize this before?”
“Realize what?”
“If it doesn't exist, then I just have to make one myself?”
“Make one what?”
“A CLUB!”
The whole class is watching us. Just wait. Soon, you won't be able to look away.
FLASH
We need a computer. I've brought everything I can think of from home to furnish the brigade room, but I couldn't convince my parents to let me borrow their PC for a year or two. Useless.
“We need a computer!”
I declare our need, out loud, to the world. Despite this, no computer comes.
"It's a tragedy! We're living in the information age, and yet a Brigade as important as mine doesn't even have a single computer!"
Still not working. Can't expect that to work all the time.
Kyon is looking at me like I'm an idiot. She'll come around soon.
Mitsuuru-kun is here too, cringing at the volume of my voice. Oh come on, I'm not that loud! Man up, man up! It'll all part of the plan!
Don't look so confused now; I'm just getting to the best part!
Nagato-chan is sitting in her chair, as usual, reading a book, as usual. It's almost cute, like some kinda anime character... I'm so glad I found her here.
Wait. That's not right.
Where was I? We need a computer! I invade Kyon's personal space.
“Let's go scrounge one up!”
We're bound to find one somewhere. In fact...
“You're not going to rob an electronics store, are you?”
Nah, I got something better in mind. What better way to get one (other than instant gratification) than stealing one from those sluts next door!
FLASH
“I don't mind joining.”
This Itsuki-kun guy is great. He's tall and good-looking, but not as tall and good-looking as me. He's like the guy whose purpose it is in life to make me look better.
Plus, he's totally mysterious~. Which is great and all. We're totally going to be brothers. Manly brothers.
“But what kind of club is this?”
That's an excellent question! I don't know. Quick, quick, make something up, umm...
"To find aliens, time-travelers, and espers, and hang out with them!”
And so the True Mission of the SOS Brigade begins.
FLASH
Nothing. Is going. Right.
We couldn't find anything at all on Saturday, Kyon spent the day flirting with Yuuki and Mikuru-chan, and, as a result, I realized that I'm falling for a girl, AGAIN.
God! Damn! It.
"Hey, where'd you go yesterday? I thought we were going to have some sort of debriefing?"
Good question, Kyon! Let me convey to you my frustration. Or my melancholy, as it were.
“Bah! I already had the debriefing on my own yesterday!”
It's all part of the plan. All part of the plan.
Kyon and I talked about love.
I've decided it's like a mental illness... that way, it's not my fault, right? It's not my fault that I think you're cute and ARRRRRRGH.
I don't have time for this. I don't have time for a girlfriend. What's gonna happen to the SOS Brigade if I do, huh? That's where I should be focusing my energy. All part of the plan, yeah.
"Look, why not create a club that involves some form of actual entertainment? That would attract more members for sure."
Great advice, except no.
"I only founded the SOS Brigade because all the other clubs were too boring. I've even recruited a loli with tits and a Mysterious Transfer Student!”
Kyon doesn't respond at all. She's not gonna come around.
That's it. I'm out.
FLASH
Train tracks, train passing by, drowning out even my thoughts.
I just poured out all my frustrations, all my melancholy, at Kyon, and all that I get back is:
“Is that so?”
I was kinda hoping for a hug there, girl. That would have been nice. Not that a guy like me would enjoy it, I mean. Totally.
I'm not making any sense.
Let's just go home.
When I turn to leave, however, I notice that something's wrong.
Kyon is supposed to be a tiny girl with a hot ponytail and a perpetually bored expression, which is unintentionally cute. Kyon is not supposed to be a tall guy with a mullet and a perpetually bored expression, which isn't cute at all.
Taller than me, even.
No one's taller than me. Something's wrong here.
I look down, and see a sailor uniform, complete with skirt. ...Are these breasts?
Squishy.
Wait, that's not what's important now! What's important is that something is really, seriously, totally wrong!
Who am
FLASH
Always remember: What is true for one, is true for the other.
FLASH
And then I wake up.
"You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich... with ARSENIC SAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUCEEEEEEE!"
That is all. More tomorrow. Please read and comment, etc.
*applauds* I like it! Is this a symptom of Haruki translating himself into Haruhi-space, or ...? And the Green Queen has access to these memory flashes too, huh? There's just no helping it anymore: Whenever this VN is completed, I'm going to have to play it ...
Bah. Fix'd.
I seem to remember having, you know, editors to fix things like this. >_>
Anything else?
In due time, in due time.
Anyways, umm... Verdicardi, was it? Which Canon did you mean? Pachelbel's Canon in D Major?
SgtHydra
2009-12-07, 10:06
*applauds* I like it! Is this a symptom of Haruki translating himself into Haruhi-space, or ...? And the Green Queen has access to these memory flashes too, huh? There's just no helping it anymore: Whenever this VN is completed, I'm going to have to play it ...
Alternately, there may just be a counterpart to the "Green Queen."
Remember: What is true for one, is true for the other.
Perhaps not a literal counterpart, but crazy is still crazy.
Since you asked for edits...
Mitsuuru-kun is here too, cringing at the volume of my voice. Oh come on, I'm not that loud! Man up, man up! It'll all part of the plan!
That last part seems oddly worded. Should it be "It's all part of the plan!"?
And a lot of gender switching going on in this one. I see what you're doing there.
vedicardi
2009-12-07, 16:40
In due time, in due time.
Anyways, umm... Verdicardi, was it? Which Canon did you mean? Pachelbel's Canon in D Major?
Yeah, I suppose that'd be the one XD
I just brought it up because Kanon was brought up, which got it's name from the song.
I wouldn't use it.
As far as I'm working out Itsumo no Fuukei's backing chords could probably use the Cello part of Canon in D anyway. :3
I wouldn't use it.
As far as I'm working out Itsumo no Fuukei's backing chords could probably use the Cello part of Canon in D anyway. :3
I know someone who would agree with you, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM) Also, it's probably snuck its way into the Haruhi music somewhere. Canon in D is ubiquitous.
Also, I'm aware that God Knows is the more thematically appropriate of the two from Live Alive!, I just prefer Lost My Music instrumentally.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-08, 05:30
*applauds* I like it! Is this a symptom of Haruki translating himself into Haruhi-space, or ...? And the Green Queen has access to these memory flashes too, huh? There's just no helping it anymore: Whenever this VN is completed, I'm going to have to play it ...
Don't be so sure to assume that the Greentext is always the same same person, regardless of how I treat her.
Haruki hasn't transferred over yet, but it does have something to do with the fact that they're an object that belonged to him.
Alternately, there may just be a counterpart to the "Green Queen."
Not a bad suggestion.
Now, the question is: If the counterpart is male, which universe is each of them from?
And a lot of gender switching going on in this one. I see what you're doing there.
Mocking the fandom like usual?
Anyway, new scene, and last of the Haruhi ones.
Brigade Chief's Duty
I wake up to see a pair of eyes staring at me.
Kyon: Aaaaaagh!
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
I scream and scramble back to the edge of the bed. Haruhi, on the other hand, falls backwards onto the floor.
Haruhi: T-the hell was that? What are you doing?!
Kyon: I could ask you the same! Why were you watching me sleep?
I rub my face hard.
Kyon: You didn't draw anything, did you?
Haruhi: W-why would I do that?!
Hmm? She's acting rather odd... her face is really red, too.
Kyon: Are you okay? You're all flush--
Haruhi: Shut up! You should show more respect for your Chief, who dragged your heavy ass all the way back here after you collapsed!
Back here? Collapsed...? From what I can see, I'm in my room, and...
Kyon: Ah.
I remember now. Haruhi put the headphones on me, and I, of course, fell unconscious, and had one of those freaky dreams again.
Lovely... wait.
My mother and sister are out... and I have the key to the house... which means one of two things...
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: Yeah?
Kyon: Did you break down the door to get in here?
Haruhi: No, of course not. I just took the key from your wallet. It was pretty easy to find.
That. It.
That's still breaking and entering! You...
I'm about to yell, but I stop when I notice the first aid kit on my bedside table.
Haruhi follows my gaze.
Haruhi: When you fainted, I kind of panicked, so I carried you home... nothing seemed to be wrong, since you were still breathing and all... I just put you in your bed, figuring I'd tell your mom when she got back...
Carried me home? A moment ago it was drag... Ugh, if the neighbours saw...
Kyon: So why the first aid kit?
She shrugs.
Haruhi: I was hoping there was, like, some smelling salts or something, but you don't have anything like that at all. What an understocked first aid kit.
...Smelling what? This isn't Victorian England, Haruhi.
Still, I'm kind of... surprised. In fact, I will even say that my mind is blown.
I expected Haruhi, if she even did anything at all, to just unceremoniously dump me at the front door, but... she actually was trying to care for me, in her own way.
In fact, it's nearly five thirty... so Haruhi must have been in my room for over an hour... just waiting.
...
It's the Brigade Chief's duty, I guess.
Haruhi: You know, your room is weird.
Kyon: Hmm?
Haruhi: It's like a painting of a room. It's like no one lives here. ...You do live here, right?
Of course!
Kyon: Well, what's your room like?
Haruhi looks away nervously.
Haruhi: Well... it's pretty messy... but that way it seems more lived in! Your room isn't human! In fact, it's very mysterious...
Kyon: You are not ransacking my room!
Haruhi: But there could be some mysterious artifact that makes whoever sleeps in the room incredibly boring!
...I'll let that one slide, since I'm grateful to her, after all. There is something, however, that I can't let slide.
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: What?
She paused, in the middle of trying to reach under my bed. Just in time, too.
Kyon: What were you doing earlier? When I woke up?
Haruhi: ...!
She freezes. That's an odd reaction to such a simple question.
Haruhi: I-I-I was just checking your t-t-temperature! I wanted to make sure you hadn't come down with a fever or something!
Kyon: That's a pretty old fashioned-way of checking temperature... and there's a thermometer in that first aid kid.
Haruhi: H-how was I supposed to use a thermometer when you were unconscious?
Kyon: It's an aural thermometer!
Haruhi: Shut up! I'll do things my own way! Besides, why are you still complaining!? B-be more thankful that I was even looking after you!
A moment of silence followed
She's red up to her ears again... I get the feeling I don't really want to know what she was doing. Still... she's surprisingly cute like that, with her expression a combination of embarrassment and worry.
...I wonder... how much trouble did she have carrying me home? I'm far too heavy for anyone Haruhi's size to carry comfortably.
...
...This isn't a situation I can deal with.
Besides, my mother and sister will be back soon. I don't want to just throw Haruhi out of here, but to be honest, I'd rather avoid awkward questions.
Haruhi: Ah, crap, how late is it? I've gotta be back home, but...
Lucky!
She gives me a quick glance, still slightly red.
Kyon: I'm fine now, just fine. It must have been a sudden bout of anaemia.
Haruhi: ...You sure? I don't think that's how--
Kyon: Fine. Here, I'll prove it to you by walking you to the door.
Haruhi: Oh no you don't, Kyon!
She pushes me back onto the bed.
Kyon: Wh--?
Haruhi: You're gonna rest, understand? I don't need you collapsing during Brigade meetings. Then what am I supposed to do?!
I don't know, take me to the Nurse's Office? Furthermore, I don't expect to be wearing those headphones to school. Speaking of which...
I interrupt Haruhi's leaving.
Kyon: Wait, Haruhi. Where'd you put the--
Haruhi: The sandwiches? I threw them into the trash, since I figured you might have passed out from food poisoning or something.
Kyon: Ah, thanks, but I was talking about the headphones.
Haruhi: ...?
She cocked her head.
Haruhi: They're around your neck. Didn't you notice...?
...
...
...
...
Haruhi: Well, see you on Monday, Kyon! And look after yourself! Or else!
Kyon: See... you.
Haruhi vanishes, leaving me alone with these things, unable to get rid of them.
...Actually, there's an easy way to get rid of them, I suppose.
I step out onto my balcony, ever so carefully remove the headphones, and with one motion, fling them into the night.
---
Dinner was a nightmare.
Apparently, my mother and sister had run into Haruhi just outside my front door... and, of course, they thought I had called her over while they were out... and now, while my sister makes fun of me, my mother begins her interrogation.
---
IF Gremlins = TRUE
Haruhi also apparently mentioned something about the 'gremlins' in our fridge... which somehow convinced my mother that we have some kind of vermin infestation. Wonderful. at least she managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them destroying my room.
---
ELSE
...At least Haruhi managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them making a mess of my room.
---
Ah! Homework! That's it!
I managed to get away from my mother by telling her I had homework to do... which, incidentally, I should probably start working on.
First I collapse in the street, and then my mother becomes convinced I'm dating Haruhi Suzumiya... not much could make this day worse.
...Except for the headphones, sitting neatly on my pillow, the xPod sitting just as neatly next to them, alongside a note, written in characters so perfect they look like a computer printout.
“Nice Try”.
Not really that great, but I like the ending. Anyone have suggestions?
That moment of realization after Haruhi tells him where they are is going to be awesome in the VN.
Now, the question is: If the counterpart is male, which universe is each of them from?
If they were to be from Haruhi-verses only, then I'd say "Midori" would be from the standard universe and... let's say "Akai" (since I can't find any male Japanese names that mean green, so I'll go for green's afterimage, which is red) would be from the Seitenkan-verse.
Whether he would speak in "red text" or just talk in a round-about way to signify his afterimage persona would be up to Kaisos, I suppose.
As for why they're from those universes... say Midori randomly obtained her powers, and ended up finding the Seitenkan. She liked (or maybe hated... need to go reread the older days) what she saw, and wanted it for her universe (or wanted it destroyed, whatever).
CrowKenobi
2009-12-08, 13:32
Who said that Midori "found" the Seitenkan universe? :p :D
more like "founded."
Don't be so sure to assume that the Greentext is always the same same person, regardless of how I treat her.
Haruki hasn't transferred over yet, but it does have something to do with the fact that they're an object that belonged to him.
Not a bad suggestion.
Now, the question is: If the counterpart is male, which universe is each of them from?
Mocking the fandom like usual?
Anyway, new scene, and last of the Haruhi ones.
Brigade Chief's Duty
I wake up to see a pair of eyes staring at me.
Kyon: Aaaaaagh!
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
I scream and scramble back to the edge of the bed. Haruhi, on the other hand, falls off.
Haruhi: T-the hell was that? What are you doing?!
Kyon: I could ask you the same! Why were you watching me sleep?
I rub my face hard.
Kyon: You didn't draw anything, did you?
Haruhi: W-why would I do that?!
Hmm? She's acting rather odd... her face is really red, too.
Kyon: Are you okay?
Haruhi: I'm not blushing!
Are you sure? Because it certainly looks that way from where I'm--
Haruhi: Shut up! You should show more respect for your Chief, who dragged your heavy ass all the way back here after you collapsed!
Back here? Collapsed...? From what I can see, I'm in my room, and...
Kyon: Ah.
I remember now. Haruhi put the headphones on me, and I, of course, fell unconscious, and had one of those freaky dreams again.
Lovely... wait.
My mother and sister are out... and I have the key to the house... which means one of two things...
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: Yeah?
Kyon: Did you break down the door to get in here?
Haruhi: No, of course not. I just took the key from your wallet. It was pretty easy to find.
That. It.
That's still breaking and entering! You...
I'm about to yell, but I stop when I notice the first aid kit on my bedside table.
Haruhi follows my gaze.
Haruhi: When you fainted, I kind of panicked, so I carried you home... nothing seemed to be wrong, since you were still breathing and all... I just put you in your bed, figuring I'd tell your mom when she got back...
Carried me home? A moment ago it was drag... Ugh, if the neighbours saw...
Kyon: So why the first aid kit?
She shrugs.
Haruhi: I was hoping there was, like, some smelling salts or something, but you don't have anything like that at all. What an understocked first aid kit.
...Smelling what? This isn't Victorian England, Haruhi.
Still, I'm kind of... surprised. In fact, I will even say that my mind is blown.
I expected Haruhi, if she even did anything at all, to just unceremoniously dump me at the front door, but... she actually was trying to care for me, in her own way.
In fact, it's nearly five thirty... so Haruhi must have been in my room for over an hour... just waiting.
...
It's the Brigade Chief's duty, I guess.
Haruhi: You know, your room is weird.
Kyon: Hmm?
Haruhi: It's like a painting of a room. It's like no one lives here. ...You do live here, right?
Of course!
Kyon: Well, what's your room like?
Haruhi looks away nervously.
Haruhi: Well... it's pretty messy... but that way it seems more lived in! Your room isn't human! In fact, it's very mysterious...
Kyon: You are not ransacking my room!
Haruhi: But there could be some mysterious artifact that makes whoever sleeps in the room incredibly boring!
...I'll let that one slide, since I'm grateful to her, after all. There is something, however, that I can't let slide.
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: What?
She paused, in the middle of trying to get under my bed. Just in time.
Kyon: What were you doing earlier? When I woke up?
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
That's a very interesting reaction to such a simple question.
Haruhi: I-I-I was just checking to see i-i-if you were still breathing! That's all!
Kyon: I'm pretty sure you don't get on a bed with the person to check their breathing!
Haruhi: ...
Silence.
Holy... she's red up to her ears... I get the feeling I don't really want to know what she was doing.
Kyon: Well, if that's all it was... it's pretty late, and my mother and sister will be back soon...
I don't want to just throw Haruhi out of here, but to be honest, I'd rather avoid awkward questions.
Haruhi: Ah, crap, how late is it? I've gotta be back home, but...
She gives me a quick glance, still slightly red.
Kyon: I'm fine now, just fine. It must have been a sudden bout of anaemia.
Haruhi: ...You sure? I don't think that's how--
Kyon: Fine. Here, I'll prove it to you by walking you to the door.
Haruhi: Oh no you don't, Kyon!
She pushes me back onto the bed.
Kyon: Wh--?
Haruhi: You're gonna rest, understand? I don't need you collapsing during Brigade meetings. Then what am I supposed to do?!
I don't know, take me to the Nurse's Office? Furthermore, I don't expect to be wearing those headphones to school. Speaking of which...
I interrupt Haruhi's leaving.
Kyon: Wait, Haruhi. Where'd you put the--
Haruhi: The sandwiches? I threw them into the trash, since I figured you might have passed out from food poisoning or something.
Kyon: Ah, thanks, but I was talking about the headphones.
Haruhi: ...?
She cocked her head.
Haruhi: They're around your neck. Didn't you notice...?
...
...
...
...
Haruhi: Well, see you on Monday, Kyon!
Kyon: See... you.
Haruhi vanishes, leaving me alone with these things, unable to get rid of them.
...Actually, there's an easy way to get rid of them, I suppose.
I step out onto my balcony, ever so carefully remove the headphones, and with one motion, fling them into the night.
---
Dinner was a nightmare.
Apparently, my mother and sister had run into Haruhi just outside my front door... and, of course, they thought I had called her over while they were out... and now, while my sister makes fun of me, my mother begins her interrogation. ...At least Haruhi managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them making a mess of my room.
Ah! Homework! That's it!
I managed to get away from my mother by telling her I had homework to do... which, incidentally, I should probably start working on.
First I collapse in the street, and then my mother becomes convinced I'm dating Haruhi Suzumiya... not much could make this day worse.
...Except for the headphones, sitting neatly on my pillow, the xPod sitting just as neatly next to them, alongside a note saying “Nice Try”.
Not really that great, but I like the ending. Anyone have suggestions?
That moment of realization after Haruhi tells him where they are is going to be awesome in the VN.
I like it! : D As for suggestions ... how about making the handwriting of that 'Nice Try'-note somehow familiar to Kyon?
Alternately, there may just be a counterpart to the "Green Queen."
Remember:
Perhaps not a literal counterpart, but crazy is still crazy.
No Green King or something. :eyespin:
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-08, 15:00
I like it! : D As for suggestions ... how about making the handwriting of that 'Nice Try'-note somehow familiar to Kyon?
Fixed, sort of.
Itsuki: Inconceivable!
Kyon: You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
It hasn't been collected on a soundtrack yet, to my knowledge.
Oh, obviously! How silly of me. Do you know how much time it gets to the soundtrack be released, usually?
Flashes in Space- Memories in Pieces (SUZUMIYA)
While I was sitting in class, bored, it happened.
I got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea.
And it changed everything.
Kyon was falling asleep. Lazy. She has to hear this.
I grab her ponytail and pull. Crap, pulled too hard, she smacked her head on the desk.
“What the hell are you doing!?”
“I finally got it!”
She's pissed, but bah. She'll come around later.
“I finally got it!”
I'm too excited to express myself. God her hair is soft.
“Why didn't I realize this before?”
“Realize what?”
“If it doesn't exist, then I just have to make one myself?”
“Make one what?”
“A CLUB!”
The whole class is watching us. Just wait. Soon, you won't be able to look away.
FLASH
We need a computer. I've brought everything I can think of from home to furnish the brigade room, but I couldn't convince my parents to let me borrow their PC for a year or two. Useless.
“We need a computer!”
I declare our need, out loud, to the world. Despite this, no computer comes.
"It's a tragedy! We're living in the information age, and yet a Brigade as important as mine doesn't even have a single computer!"
Still not working. Can't expect that to work all the time.
Kyon is looking at me like I'm an idiot. She'll come around soon.
Mitsuuru-kun is here too, cringing at the volume of my voice. Oh come on, I'm not that loud! Man up, man up! It's all part of the plan!
Don't look so confused now; I'm just getting to the best part!
Nagato-chan is sitting in her chair, as usual, reading a book, as usual. It's almost cute, like some kinda anime character... I'm so glad I found her here.
Wait. That's not right.
Where was I? We need a computer! I invade Kyon's personal space.
“Let's go scrounge one up!”
We're bound to find one somewhere. In fact...
“You're not going to rob an electronics store, are you?”
Nah, I got something better in mind. What better way to get one (other than instant gratification) than stealing one from those sluts next door!
FLASH
“I don't mind joining.”
This Itsuki-kun guy is great. He's tall and good-looking, but not as tall and good-looking as me. He's like the guy whose purpose it is in life to make me look better.
Plus, he's totally mysterious~. Which is great and all. We're totally going to be brothers. Manly brothers.
“But what kind of club is this?”
That's an excellent question! I don't know. Quick, quick, make something up, umm...
"To find aliens, time-travelers, and espers, and hang out with them!”
And so the True Mission of the SOS Brigade begins.
FLASH
Nothing. Is going. Right.
We couldn't find anything at all on Saturday, Kyon spent the day flirting with Yuuki and Mikuru-chan, and, as a result, I realized that I'm falling for a girl, AGAIN.
God! Damn! It.
"Hey, where'd you go yesterday? I thought we were going to have some sort of debriefing?"
Good question, Kyon! Let me convey to you my frustration. Or my melancholy, as it were.
“Bah! I already had the debriefing on my own yesterday!”
It's all part of the plan. All part of the plan.
Kyon and I talked about love.
I've decided it's like a mental illness... that way, it's not my fault, right? It's not my fault that I think you're cute and ARRRRRRGH.
I don't have time for this. I don't have time for a girlfriend. What's gonna happen to the SOS Brigade if I do, huh? That's where I should be focusing my energy. All part of the plan, yeah.
"Look, why not create a club that involves some form of actual entertainment? That would attract more members for sure."
Great advice, except no.
"I only founded the SOS Brigade because all the other clubs were too boring. I've even recruited a loli with tits and a Mysterious Transfer Student!”
Kyon doesn't respond at all. She's not gonna come around.
That's it. I'm out.
FLASH
Train tracks, train passing by, drowning out even my thoughts.
I just poured out all my frustrations, all my melancholy, at Kyon, and all that I get back is:
“Is that so?”
I was kinda hoping for a hug there, girl. That would have been nice. Not that a guy like me would enjoy it, I mean. Totally.
I'm not making any sense.
Let's just go home.
When I turn to leave, however, I notice that something's wrong.
Kyon is supposed to be a tiny girl with a hot ponytail and a perpetually bored expression, which is unintentionally cute. Kyon is not supposed to be a tall guy with a mullet and a perpetually bored expression, which isn't cute at all.
Taller than me, even.
No one's taller than me. Something's wrong here.
I look down, and see a sailor uniform, complete with skirt. ...Are these breasts?
Squishy.
Wait, that's not what's important now! What's important is that something is really, seriously, totally wrong!
Who am
FLASH
Always remember: What is true for one, is true for the other.
FLASH
And then I wake up.
"You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich... with ARSENIC SAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUCEEEEEEE!"
That is all. More tomorrow. Please read and comment, etc.
Awesome scene. Quite confusing too. :p Make you wonder what the hell is going one (which is probably the objective). I find interesting you made Haruki perfectly awere he is falling for Kyon-chan. And with a plausible denial about it.
I also find interesting you haven't pu any scene with Itsuko there. All brigade members were mentioned, exept her. :p I also loved the "manly brothers" line. Sound something like Kamina/Shimon.
Brigade Chief's Duty
I wake up to see a pair of eyes staring at me.
Kyon: Aaaaaagh!
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
I scream and scramble back to the edge of the bed. Haruhi, on the other hand, falls off.
Haruhi: T-the hell was that? What are you doing?!
Kyon: I could ask you the same! Why were you watching me sleep?
I rub my face hard.
Kyon: You didn't draw anything, did you?
Haruhi: W-why would I do that?!
Hmm? She's acting rather odd... her face is really red, too.
Kyon: Are you okay?
Haruhi: I'm not blushing!
Are you sure? Because it certainly looks that way from where I'm--
Haruhi: Shut up! You should show more respect for your Chief, who dragged your heavy ass all the way back here after you collapsed!
Back here? Collapsed...? From what I can see, I'm in my room, and...
Kyon: Ah.
I remember now. Haruhi put the headphones on me, and I, of course, fell unconscious, and had one of those freaky dreams again.
Lovely... wait.
My mother and sister are out... and I have the key to the house... which means one of two things...
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: Yeah?
Kyon: Did you break down the door to get in here?
Haruhi: No, of course not. I just took the key from your wallet. It was pretty easy to find.
That. It.
That's still breaking and entering! You...
I'm about to yell, but I stop when I notice the first aid kit on my bedside table.
Haruhi follows my gaze.
Haruhi: When you fainted, I kind of panicked, so I carried you home... nothing seemed to be wrong, since you were still breathing and all... I just put you in your bed, figuring I'd tell your mom when she got back...
Carried me home? A moment ago it was drag... Ugh, if the neighbours saw...
Kyon: So why the first aid kit?
She shrugs.
Haruhi: I was hoping there was, like, some smelling salts or something, but you don't have anything like that at all. What an understocked first aid kit.
...Smelling what? This isn't Victorian England, Haruhi.
Still, I'm kind of... surprised. In fact, I will even say that my mind is blown.
I expected Haruhi, if she even did anything at all, to just unceremoniously dump me at the front door, but... she actually was trying to care for me, in her own way.
In fact, it's nearly five thirty... so Haruhi must have been in my room for over an hour... just waiting.
...
It's the Brigade Chief's duty, I guess.
Haruhi: You know, your room is weird.
Kyon: Hmm?
Haruhi: It's like a painting of a room. It's like no one lives here. ...You do live here, right?
Of course!
Kyon: Well, what's your room like?
Haruhi looks away nervously.
Haruhi: Well... it's pretty messy... but that way it seems more lived in! Your room isn't human! In fact, it's very mysterious...
Kyon: You are not ransacking my room!
Haruhi: But there could be some mysterious artifact that makes whoever sleeps in the room incredibly boring!
...I'll let that one slide, since I'm grateful to her, after all. There is something, however, that I can't let slide.
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: What?
She paused, in the middle of trying to get under my bed. Just in time.
Kyon: What were you doing earlier? When I woke up?
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
That's a very interesting reaction to such a simple question.
Haruhi: I-I-I was just checking to see i-i-if you were still breathing! That's all!
Kyon: I'm pretty sure you don't get on a bed with the person to check their breathing!
Haruhi: ...
Silence.
Holy... she's red up to her ears... I get the feeling I don't really want to know what she was doing.
Kyon: Well, if that's all it was... it's pretty late, and my mother and sister will be back soon...
I don't want to just throw Haruhi out of here, but to be honest, I'd rather avoid awkward questions.
Haruhi: Ah, crap, how late is it? I've gotta be back home, but...
She gives me a quick glance, still slightly red.
Kyon: I'm fine now, just fine. It must have been a sudden bout of anaemia.
Haruhi: ...You sure? I don't think that's how--
Kyon: Fine. Here, I'll prove it to you by walking you to the door.
Haruhi: Oh no you don't, Kyon!
She pushes me back onto the bed.
Kyon: Wh--?
Haruhi: You're gonna rest, understand? I don't need you collapsing during Brigade meetings. Then what am I supposed to do?!
I don't know, take me to the Nurse's Office? Furthermore, I don't expect to be wearing those headphones to school. Speaking of which...
I interrupt Haruhi's leaving.
Kyon: Wait, Haruhi. Where'd you put the--
Haruhi: The sandwiches? I threw them into the trash, since I figured you might have passed out from food poisoning or something.
Kyon: Ah, thanks, but I was talking about the headphones.
Haruhi: ...?
She cocked her head.
Haruhi: They're around your neck. Didn't you notice...?
...
...
...
...
Haruhi: Well, see you on Monday, Kyon!
Kyon: See... you.
Haruhi vanishes, leaving me alone with these things, unable to get rid of them.
...Actually, there's an easy way to get rid of them, I suppose.
I step out onto my balcony, ever so carefully remove the headphones, and with one motion, fling them into the night.
---
Dinner was a nightmare.
Apparently, my mother and sister had run into Haruhi just outside my front door... and, of course, they thought I had called her over while they were out... and now, while my sister makes fun of me, my mother begins her interrogation. ...At least Haruhi managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them making a mess of my room.
Ah! Homework! That's it!
I managed to get away from my mother by telling her I had homework to do... which, incidentally, I should probably start working on.
First I collapse in the street, and then my mother becomes convinced I'm dating Haruhi Suzumiya... not much could make this day worse.
...Except for the headphones, sitting neatly on my pillow, the xPod sitting just as neatly next to them, alongside a note, written in characters so perfect they look like a computer printout.
“Nice Try”.
Not really that great, but I like the ending. Anyone have suggestions?
That moment of realization after Haruhi tells him where they are is going to be awesome in the VN.
Hmmm, I didn't like that one that much. I don't know, Haruhi was too much deredere an Kyon to much savy. He is more clueless in the original and Haruhi is usually better hidding her feelings. Even the 2 most deredere scenes of the nove/anime (Disappearance's end and Some Day in The Rain) was not that much. The scene is not bad, but maybe it should be toned down a bit?
The worst line, in my opinion, is this one:
Kyon: Are you okay?
Haruhi: I'm not blushing!
Too obvious, I don't believe she would answer like that unless Kyon mentioned the blushing first (and I also don't believe he would).
PP:
Oh, yeah, the ending was awesome, however. Also, the note was obviously writen by Kimidori. =P
vivify93
2009-12-08, 18:06
Here's where I make a quote and a clever post where I reiterate that I would instantly become an ultra-fanboy of Midori-M.
But I'm not clever and don't feel like quoting, so I'm just going to be an asshole and make another post.
Good work, Kaisos.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-08, 18:12
*snip*
Bah.
I'm done.
If people could offer me suggestions for fixing that scene up instead of offering empty praise, that'd be great. >_>
Could always have her say she got a fever after having to haul his butt back to his room.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-08, 18:34
Nah, I just cut that bit out. It's more something Kyonko would say, anyway.
Anyway, new scene, and last of the Haruhi ones.
Brigade Chief's Duty
I wake up to see a pair of eyes staring at me.
Kyon: Aaaaaagh!
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
I scream and scramble back to the edge of the bed. Haruhi, on the other hand, falls backwards onto the floor.
Haruhi: T-the hell was that? What are you doing?!
Kyon: I could ask you the same! Why were you watching me sleep?
I rub my face hard.
Kyon: You didn't draw anything, did you?
Haruhi: W-why would I do that?!
Hmm? She's acting rather odd... her face is really red, too.
Kyon: Are you okay? You're all flush--
Haruhi: Shut up! You should show more respect for your Chief, who dragged your heavy ass all the way back here after you collapsed!
Back here? Collapsed...? From what I can see, I'm in my room, and...
Kyon: Ah.
I remember now. Haruhi put the headphones on me, and I, of course, fell unconscious, and had one of those freaky dreams again.
Lovely... wait.
My mother and sister are out... and I have the key to the house... which means one of two things...
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: Yeah?
Kyon: Did you break down the door to get in here?
Haruhi: No, of course not. I just took the key from your wallet. It was pretty easy to find.
That. It.
That's still breaking and entering! You...
I'm about to yell, but I stop when I notice the first aid kit on my bedside table.
Haruhi follows my gaze.
Haruhi: When you fainted, I kind of panicked, so I carried you home... nothing seemed to be wrong, since you were still breathing and all... I just put you in your bed, figuring I'd tell your mom when she got back...
Carried me home? A moment ago it was drag... Ugh, if the neighbours saw...
Kyon: So why the first aid kit?
She shrugs.
Haruhi: I was hoping there was, like, some smelling salts or something, but you don't have anything like that at all. What an understocked first aid kit.
...Smelling what? This isn't Victorian England, Haruhi.
Still, I'm kind of... surprised. In fact, I will even say that my mind is blown.
I expected Haruhi, if she even did anything at all, to just unceremoniously dump me at the front door, but... she actually was trying to care for me, in her own way.
In fact, it's nearly five thirty... so Haruhi must have been in my room for over an hour... just waiting.
...
It's the Brigade Chief's duty, I guess.
Haruhi: You know, your room is weird.
Kyon: Hmm?
Haruhi: It's like a painting of a room. It's like no one lives here. ...You do live here, right?
Of course!
Kyon: Well, what's your room like?
Haruhi looks away nervously.
Haruhi: Well... it's pretty messy... but that way it seems more lived in! Your room isn't human! In fact, it's very mysterious...
Kyon: You are not ransacking my room!
Haruhi: But there could be some mysterious artifact that makes whoever sleeps in the room incredibly boring!
...I'll let that one slide, since I'm grateful to her, after all. There is something, however, that I can't let slide.
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: What?
She paused, in the middle of trying to get under my bed. Just in time.
Kyon: What were you doing earlier? When I woke up?
Haruhi: ...!
She freezes. That's an odd reaction to such a simple question.
Haruhi: I-I-I was just checking to see i-i-if you were still breathing! That's all!
Kyon: I'm pretty sure you don't have to get so close with the person to check their breathing!
Haruhi: ...
Silence.
She's red up to her ears again... I get the feeling I don't really want to know what she was doing.
Kyon: Well, if that's all it was... it's pretty late, and my mother and sister will be back soon...
I don't want to just throw Haruhi out of here, but to be honest, I'd rather avoid awkward questions.
Haruhi: Ah, crap, how late is it? I've gotta be back home, but...
She gives me a quick glance, still slightly red.
Kyon: I'm fine now, just fine. It must have been a sudden bout of anaemia.
Haruhi: ...You sure? I don't think that's how--
Kyon: Fine. Here, I'll prove it to you by walking you to the door.
Haruhi: Oh no you don't, Kyon!
She pushes me back onto the bed.
Kyon: Wh--?
Haruhi: You're gonna rest, understand? I don't need you collapsing during Brigade meetings. Then what am I supposed to do?!
I don't know, take me to the Nurse's Office? Furthermore, I don't expect to be wearing those headphones to school. Speaking of which...
I interrupt Haruhi's leaving.
Kyon: Wait, Haruhi. Where'd you put the--
Haruhi: The sandwiches? I threw them into the trash, since I figured you might have passed out from food poisoning or something.
Kyon: Ah, thanks, but I was talking about the headphones.
Haruhi: ...?
She cocked her head.
Haruhi: They're around your neck. Didn't you notice...?
...
...
...
...
Haruhi: Well, see you on Monday, Kyon!
Kyon: See... you.
Haruhi vanishes, leaving me alone with these things, unable to get rid of them.
...Actually, there's an easy way to get rid of them, I suppose.
I step out onto my balcony, ever so carefully remove the headphones, and with one motion, fling them into the night.
---
Dinner was a nightmare.
Apparently, my mother and sister had run into Haruhi just outside my front door... and, of course, they thought I had called her over while they were out... and now, while my sister makes fun of me, my mother begins her interrogation. ...At least Haruhi managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them making a mess of my room.
Ah! Homework! That's it!
I managed to get away from my mother by telling her I had homework to do... which, incidentally, I should probably start working on.
First I collapse in the street, and then my mother becomes convinced I'm dating Haruhi Suzumiya... not much could make this day worse.
...Except for the headphones, sitting neatly on my pillow, the xPod sitting just as neatly next to them, alongside a note, written in characters so perfect they look like a computer printout.
“Nice Try”.
Not really that great, but I like the ending. Anyone have suggestions?
That moment of realization after Haruhi tells him where they are is going to be awesome in the VN.
Ok, I get why you'd say it's a little unsatisfying. The scene isn't bad, but it is not the usual kind that people would expect here. Either these kind of scenes would be filled with shameless tsundere flirting to excite the reader; or, they are filled with an almost endless introspective where the protagonist muses about how that date in the path affected his view of, and relationship with the girl.
If you still want to make changes... well, since we ain't Key, we better do the first. :p Maybe make the scene, more love-comedy cute?
Haruhi could brush off the kiss attempt with the "I'm trying to take your temperature" excuse, and Kyon comments what an old fashioned method she's using. Maybe even point out a thermometer in the first aid kit. She'll go "shut up, I'll do things my way."
When she starts to rummage around his room, she can comment on wanting to find the most cliched hidden item in a boys room; the ero-hon. Kyon could accuse her of targeting that from the start, and comment that he wouldn't keep stuff like that, especially around his nosy little sister. (Ecchi na no wa ikenai to omoimasu!)
We could do a little relationship introspective too. Maybe during the period of silence he could take a good look at her; noting the worry in her eye; roughened hair from carrying him; or maybe uncharacteristic quiet as she examines him or looks out the window. A good time for him to be reminded of her good looks along with his discovery of her ability to care. He doesn't just fawn over Mikuru, you know.
That's all I got for now. We'll see if you need more later.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-09, 01:48
Either these kind of scenes would be filled with shameless tsundere flirting to excite the reader
This would never happen with these two characters. They don't flirt, just argue.
Which was Heatth's complaint.
Haruhi could brush off the kiss attempt with the "I'm trying to take your temperature" excuse, and Kyon comments what an old fashioned method she's using. Maybe even point out a thermometer in the first aid kit. She'll go "shut up, I'll do things my way."
Okay, this isn't too bad. I can use this.
When she starts to rummage around his room, she can comment on wanting to find the most cliched hidden item in a boys room; the ero-hon. Kyon could accuse her of targeting that from the start, and comment that he wouldn't keep stuff like that, especially around his nosy little sister. (Ecchi na no wa ikenai to omoimasu!)
Actually, he does have a couple of porn books hidden beneath the carpet under his bed... it's subtly hinted at in this scene, but I'm saving it for the Co-Op route.
And if you don't think Kyon would have something like that... all guys do. :heh: Kyon is rather a pervert, despite how he casts himself.
We could do a little relationship introspective too. Maybe during the period of silence he could take a good look at her; noting the worry in her eye; roughened hair from carrying him; or maybe uncharacteristic quiet as she examines him or looks out the window. A good time for him to be reminded of her good looks along with his discovery of her ability to care. He doesn't just fawn over Mikuru, you know.
I... honestly can't see Kyon noticing something like that, but I can see her commenting on how cute she looks when she's worried, or something. The problem is finding where to put it.
Bah.
Edit: I fixed a bit, again. Everyone check it out.
No Green King or something. :eyespin:
I prefer "Man of Wealth and Taste" myself.
The next scene with Itsuki/o needs to have the phrase "Never start a land war in Asia" worked into it somehow.
They don't flirt, just argue.
How do Tsunderes flirt? :heh:
Actually, he does have a couple of porn books hidden beneath the carpet under his bed... it's subtly hinted at in this scene, but I'm saving it for the Co-Op route.
And if you don't think Kyon would have something like that... all guys do. :heh: Kyon is rather a pervert, despite how he casts himself.
It's not that I think he wouldn't read them; it's that his sister has no sense of boundaries. She cheerfully bursts in and grabs scissors from the desk drawers, or crawl under the bed to pick up Shamisen. Kyon will have to be really creative to hide his porn. :p
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-09, 02:16
The next scene with Itsuki/o needs to have the phrase "Never start a land war in Asia" worked into it somehow.
Why? :heh: Since when are they Sicilian?
How do Tsunderes flirt? :heh:
By yelling at each other and spending ten years in denial.
This route is going to be hard to justify. :rolleyes:
It's not that I think he wouldn't read them; it's that his sister has no sense of boundaries. She cheerfully bursts in and grabs scissors from the desk drawers, or crawl under the bed to pick up Shamisen. Kyon will have to be really creative to hide his porn. :p
Say that there's a loose bit of carpeting where he shoved a couple magazines.
He probably had more in middle school, but I seem to notice that he has no books in his room, period, which Haruhi sort of comments on. He must have purged everything from his "former life" after Sasaki.
It's just a famous saying, yo!
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-09, 05:56
Famous to nerds, perhaps.
Impulse Buy
...Hmm. Maybe I'll go to the mall down by the station. I have a bit of pocket change...
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Kitaguchi Station]
I walk through the shopping mall, heading for the bookstore, when suddenly!
I hear the voice of an angel, descending from Heaven to bestow divine ecstasy on mankind!
Mikuru: Uwah! So cuuuuute!
It's Asahina-san.
She's in some tiny novelty store, blessing the ears of passerby with her cute yells. Ah, bless me some more, Asahina-san! Your divine ecstasy is the best!
---
IF MikuruConvo=True THEN
So this explains where she was when I called her earlier.
To be honest... I didn't think she really did anything in her spare time.
---
I enter the store.
Kyon: Good afternoon, Asahina-san!
Mikuru: Ah! Er, good afternoon, Kyon-kun...
She moves to the side to hide what she was just looking at with such adorable eyes. What could it be? I'm almost jealous. Screw that, I am jealous.
Mikuru: What a coincidence seeing you here... haha.
Kyon: Yeah, I just came down here on a whim. What about you?
If I stretch a little, I can see over her head... it would appear as though she was looking at a case of stuffed animals. As expected of Asahina-san.
Mikuru: T-this shop, um, sells tea sets and things... I was going to buy a teaset, for a change of decoration in the clubroom...
Kyon: Sounds nice... but I think if anyone should be spending money on the clubroom, it's Haruhi.
In any case, Asahina-san must be embarrassed about the stuffed animals... Don't be, Asahina-san, they fit you perfectly... on second thought, be embarrassed, you're much cuter that way.
...I want to tease her a little.
Kyon: So why are you looking at plush toys?
Mikuru: Wah... you saw, Kyon-kun?
Well, you weren't doing that great a job of hiding it. But that's why you're so adorable, Asahina-san!
Mikuru: Um... it's just... when I see something cute for sale... I have to buy it... It's weird, right?
Kyon: Not at all! I think many girls feel this way.
People who buy on impulse like that don't tend to have much in the way of pocket change, though. Of course, it's not as though she'd need it, given that I end up paying for all of the Brigade's meals.
...Come to think of it, where does Asahina-san get her pocket change to begin with? Do her superiors provide her with it? Or does she have a part-time job?
...If she does, where would Asahina-san work? ...Well, she is very talented at serving tea... Could it be?! Does she have a part-time job as a maid somewhere?
If that's true, she must work at some rich person's house... only a wealthy family could afford a maid in this day and age.
Oh, if only I could afford Asahina-san...
Mikuru: Excuse me, I'd like to buy these...
While my mind was drifting off to the savage land, Asahina-san had taken both a stuffed lion and a Hermes tea set to the front counter. I watch with interest.
Mikuru: Uwahhhh...
Kyon: ...? What's wrong?
Mikuru: ...I... I don't have enough to buy them both... I knew this would happen...
Then why did you even pick up the lion!?
Mikuru: Sniff...
She looks at me with tearful eyes, as if expecting me to save her.
... Her sad face is so cute.
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)Buy it for her.
2)Apologize to the shopkeeper for her.
Shining So Hard It Hurts the Eyes
Don't worry, Asahina-san! I'll be your knight in shining armor!
Kyon: It's alright. I'll buy the lion for her.
The old shopkeeper nods understandingly.
I think I have enough... of course, there goes all of my pocket change.
Mikuru: Eh? No, it's okay, Kyon-kun, you don't have to... it was just an impulse buy, anyway...
Kyon: No, I insist. Consider it a present.
Ah... her smile and ever-so-slightly blushing face as I hand her the toy is worth more than all the yen in the world.
Kyon: Say, uh... are you busy right now?
She cocks her head.
Mikuru: Not really...
Kyon: Wanna walk around for a bit, then?
Mikuru: Eh... but... if Suzumiya-san sees...
---
IF HaruhiConvo= True
That's right, Haruhi is hunting around town today... still...
---
Kyon: Don't worry about that. If we run into her, I'll just say we met up by chance.
Which we did.
Asahina-san nods nervously.
Kyon: Also, let me carry that tea set.
It's the least I can do, as well.
Asahina-san cradles the stuffed lion in her arms, looking adorably happy.
A date with Asahina-san... ah... my diligence has been rewarded.
Mikuru: Sorry, what did you say, Kyon-kun?
Kyon: Ah, nothing.
Eeeeeeeh!?
Don't worry, Asahina-san! I'll save you!
I bow in apology to the shopkeeper.
Kyon: I'm sorry about this. She's my little sister, and very bad at keeping track of money. Please forget the lion.
Mikuru: Eeeeeeeh!?
The old shopkeeper nods understandingly.
Well, that problem's solved. Just put the toy back now, Asahina-san It's a waste of money anyway... wait, what's wrong?
Mikuru: N-nothing, Kyon-kun... I have to go... I promised I'd be back by now...
Wait, seriously? And promised who? ...Is she crying? Oh no, did I make her cry? What did I say?
Asahina-san picks up her bagged tea set and leaves the store, not even waving goodbye.
Kyon: Wait, Asahina-san, I--
Too late, she's gone.
The shopkeeper just rolls his eyes. What are you looking at?
...I think I need to apologize to Asahina-san the next time I meet her.
...I'm tired, I think I'll just go home.
The last bit needs a lot of work, but I wanted to get on with this before like four in the morning.
The stuffed lion is actually a reference to three different things... can you name them all?
Famous to nerds, perhaps.
Impulse Buy
...Hmm. Maybe I'll go to the mall down by the station. I have a bit of pocket change...
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Kitaguchi Station]
I walk through the shopping mall, heading for the bookstore, when suddenly!
I hear the voice of an angel, descending from Heaven to bestow divine ecstasy on mankind!
Mikuru: Uwah! So cuuuuute!
It's Asahina-san.
She's in some tiny novelty store, blessing the ears of passerby with her cute yells. Ah, bless me some more, Asahina-san! Your divine ecstasy is the best!
---
IF MikuruConvo=True THEN
So this explains where she was when I called her earlier.
To be honest... I didn't think she really did anything in her spare time.
---
I enter the store.
Kyon: Good afternoon, Asahina-san!
Mikuru: Ah! Er, good afternoon, Kyon-kun...
She moves to the side to hide what she was just looking at with such adorable eyes. What could it be? I'm almost jealous. Screw that, I am jealous.
Mikuru: What a coincidence seeing you here... haha.
Kyon: Yeah, I just came down here on a whim. What about you?
If I stretch a little, I can see over her head... it would appear as though she was looking at a case of stuffed animals. As expected of Asahina-san.
Mikuru: T-this shop, um, sells tea sets and things... I was going to buy a teaset, for a change of decoration in the clubroom...
Kyon: Sounds nice... but I think if anyone should be spending money on the clubroom, it's Haruhi.
In any case, Asahina-san must be embarrassed about the stuffed animals... Don't be, Asahina-san, they fit you perfectly... on second thought, be embarrassed, you're much cuter that way.
...I want to tease her a little.
Kyon: So why are you looking at plush toys?
Mikuru: Wah... you saw, Kyon-kun?
Well, you weren't doing that great a job of hiding it. But that's why you're so adorable, Asahina-san!
Mikuru: Um... it's just... when I see something cute for sale... I have to buy it... It's weird, right?
Kyon: Not at all! I think many girls feel this way.
People who buy on impulse like that don't tend to have much in the way of pocket change, though. Of course, it's not as though she'd need it, given that I end up paying for all of the Brigade's meals.
...Come to think of it, where does Asahina-san get her pocket change to begin with? Do her superiors provide her with it? Or does she have a part-time job?
...If she does, where would Asahina-san work? ...Well, she is very talented at serving tea... Could it be?! Does she have a part-time job as a maid somewhere?
If that's true, she must work at some rich person's house... only a wealthy family could afford a maid in this day and age.
Oh, if only I could afford Asahina-san...
Mikuru: Excuse me, I'd like to buy these...
While my mind was drifting off to the savage land, Asahina-san had taken both a stuffed lion and a Hermes tea set to the front counter. I watch with interest.
Mikuru: Uwahhhh...
Kyon: ...? What's wrong?
Mikuru: ...I... I don't have enough to buy them both... I knew this would happen...
Then why did you even pick up the lion!?
Mikuru: Sniff...
She looks at me with tearful eyes, as if expecting me to save her.
... Her sad face is so cute.
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)Buy it for her.
2)Apologize to the shopkeeper for her.
Shining So Hard It Hurts the Eyes
Don't worry, Asahina-san! I'll be your knight in shining armor!
Kyon: It's alright. I'll buy the lion for her.
The old shopkeeper nods understandingly.
I think I have enough... of course, there goes all of my pocket change.
Mikuru: Eh? No, it's okay, Kyon-kun, you don't have to... it was just an impulse buy, anyway...
Kyon: No, I insist. Consider it a present.
Ah... her smile and ever-so-slightly blushing face as I hand her the toy is worth more than all the yen in the world.
Kyon: Say, uh... are you busy right now?
She cocks her head.
Mikuru: Not really...
Kyon: Wanna walk around for a bit, then?
Mikuru: Eh... but... if Suzumiya-san sees...
---
IF HaruhiConvo= True
That's right, Haruhi is hunting around town today... still...
---
Kyon: Don't worry about that. If we run into her, I'll just say we met up by chance.
Which we did.
Asahina-san nods nervously.
Kyon: Also, let me carry that tea set.
It's the least I can do, as well.
Asahina-san cradles the stuffed lion in her arms, looking adorably happy.
A date with Asahina-san... ah... my diligence has been rewarded.
Mikuru: Sorry, what did you say, Kyon-kun?
Kyon: Ah, nothing.
Eeeeeeeh!?
Don't worry, Asahina-san! I'll save you!
I bow in apology to the shopkeeper.
Kyon: I'm sorry about this. She's my little sister, and very bad at keeping track of money. Please forget the lion.
Mikuru: Eeeeeeeh!?
The old shopkeeper nods understandingly.
Well, that problem's solved. Just put the toy back now, Asahina-san It's a waste of money anyway... wait, what's wrong?
Mikuru: N-nothing, Kyon-kun... I have to go... I promised I'd be back by now...
Wait, seriously? And promised who? ...Is she crying? Oh no, did I make her cry? What did I say?
Asahina-san picks up her bagged tea set and leaves the store, not even waving goodbye.
Kyon: Wait, Asahina-san, I--
Too late, she's gone.
The shopkeeper just rolls his eyes. What are you looking at?
...I think I need to apologize to Asahina-san the next time I meet her.
...I'm tired, I think I'll just go home.
The last bit needs a lot of work, but I wanted to get on with this before like four in the morning.
The stuffed lion is actually a reference to three different things... can you name them all?
Don't try to pretend you are not a nerd, Kaisos. :p Besides, the saying may be famous in Australia but not in Canada. It is the other side of the world, you know.
Anyway, the scene was very cute. I can't really understand why Mikuru was so upset, tough. Did Kyon actualy said "waste of money" out of loud? That would be just mean. :p Oh, and I loved the shopkeeper rolling his eyes in the end.
About the lion, hmmm, it is a reference to F/SN (the lion Shirou buy for Saber), eh, Umineko (Sakutaro) and... Sakura Card Captor (Kero-chan)? Only the first guess seen to be correct, tough. (I could also name Bleach, because of Kon, but definitivelly don't fit. :p)
vivify93
2009-12-09, 07:28
I was thinking Muu from Haruhi-chan, but that'd be too obvious for Kaisos...
SgtHydra
2009-12-09, 10:34
No Green King or something. :eyespin:
I did say "not a literal counterpart" for a reason, you know.
It's not that I think he wouldn't read them; it's that his sister has no sense of boundaries. She cheerfully bursts in and grabs scissors from the desk drawers, or crawl under the bed to pick up Shamisen. Kyon will have to be really creative to hide his porn. :p
Shamisen isn't in the picture yet, is he? I thought Sigh took place in October and this in September?
Say that there's a loose bit of carpeting where he shoved a couple magazines.
He probably had more in middle school, but I seem to notice that he has no books in his room, period, which Haruhi sort of comments on. He must have purged everything from his "former life" after Sasaki.
This is the information age! Wouldn't a video/dvd or a folder on his computer be more... normal?
This is the information age! Wouldn't a video/dvd or a folder on his computer be more... normal?
Hmmm, I am not with the episodes with me to check, but does Kyon have his personal computer or his own TV (with a DVD playwe)? If not, having magazines is more... safe.
Hmmm, I am not with the episodes with me to check, but does Kyon have his personal computer or his own TV (with a DVD playwe)? If not, having magazines is more... safe.
Just checked the last endless eight episode (can't remember any other episodes except endless eight that have his room), and he has his own TV (http://i49.tinypic.com/dov1vc.jpg) and a PS2, which can act as a DVD player. He doesn't seem to have his own computer. However...
He probably had more in middle school, but I seem to notice that he has no books in his room, period, which Haruhi sort of comments on. He must have purged everything from his "former life" after Sasaki.
I did notice he has a lot of books. He has an entire bookshelf behind his alarm clock, and at least 6 books stacked next to it. (http://i45.tinypic.com/9sxmqp.jpg) Also, using that same episode as an example, how was Haruhi doing anything under his bed? Screenshot for Kyon's bed. (http://i48.tinypic.com/2dwf3gy.jpg) It seems to only have an inch at most space between it and the floor.
I did say "not a literal counterpart" for a reason, you know.
Oh I thought you meant a yin/yang counterpart (ex: yandere Midori/good, genki, lovable Midori)
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-09, 14:17
Anyway, the scene was very cute. I can't really understand why Mikuru was so upset, tough. Did Kyon actualy said "waste of money" out of loud? That would be just mean. :p
Yes, yes he did.
About the lion, hmmm, it is a reference to F/SN (the lion Shirou buy for Saber), eh, Umineko (Sakutaro) and... Sakura Card Captor (Kero-chan)? Only the first guess seen to be correct, tough. (I could also name Bleach, because of Kon, but definitivelly don't fit. :p)
I was thinking Muu from Haruhi-chan, but that'd be too obvious for Kaisos...
Saber's toy lion, Sakutaro, and Muu-chan. I've never seen Cardcaptors or Bleach. :heh:
Stuffed lions are popular, huh?
This is the information age! Wouldn't a video/dvd or a folder on his computer be more... normal?
Japan, like the states, still has a healthy porn magazine business. Also, like Heatth says above, he doesn't appear to own a computer.
Just checked the last endless eight episode (can't remember any other episodes except endless eight that have his room), and he has his own TV (http://i49.tinypic.com/dov1vc.jpg) and a PS2, which can act as a DVD player. He doesn't seem to have his own computer. However...
He does have his own television, but the PS2 is the family's. It's normally downstairs, like you can see in the first E8. Haruhi probably brought it upstairs.
I did notice he has a lot of books. He has an entire bookshelf behind his alarm clock, and at least 6 books stacked next to it. (http://i45.tinypic.com/9sxmqp.jpg)
The books on the shelf appear to be custom-labelled... which precludes them from being the kind of thing pre-Sasaki Kyon would have read.
The books on the bedside table appear to be novels... which should mean that they're books Nagato introduced him to.
Also, using that same episode as an example, how was Haruhi doing anything under his bed? Screenshot for Kyon's bed. (http://i48.tinypic.com/2dwf3gy.jpg) It seems to only have an inch at most space between it and the floor.[/QUOTE]
Ahaha.
I'll fix that to her reaching "beneath the bed." You can get under those types quite easily if you want to, I've done it.
Saber's toy lion, Sakutaro, and Muu-chan. I've never seen Cardcaptors or Bleach. :heh:
Stuffed lions are popular, huh?
D'oh! I should have tought in the Mugen Lion. :heh:
I knew Kero-chan was me weeker guess but I tought the series was famous enough. I am kinda surprised you haven't ever seen/read, it is one of the CLAMP most famous work after all. It wasn't exibited on Canada's TV when you were a kid?
Japan, like the states, still has a healthy porn magazine business. Also, like Heatth says above, he doesn't appear to own a computer.
The books on the shelf appear to be custom-labelled... which precludes them from being the kind of thing pre-Sasaki Kyon would have read.
The books on the bedside table appear to be novels... which should mean that they're books Nagato introduced him to.
I don't quite understand what you mean. He seens to have a lot of books. More then he could have get in less then a year. Which kinda make sense, seeing how cultured he is. Why do you think he ger rid off all he had before Sasaki? If anything, I believe he trew away a lot of "childish" toys (given how he seemed to think before meeting Sasaki, I imagine he used to have a lot of them).
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-09, 15:23
It wasn't exibited on Canada's TV when you were a kid?
It was, but it was marketed to girls.
I don't quite understand what you mean. He seens to have a lot of books. More then he could have get in less then a year. Which kinda make sense, seeing how cultured he is. Why do you think he ger rid off all he had before Sasaki? If anything, I believe he trew away a lot of "childish" toys (given how he seemed to think before meeting Sasaki, I imagine he used to have a lot of them).
They're not novels, which is my point. They honestly look like technical books.
He used to read a lot of sci-fi... anyway, my point is that his room is too clean. It doesn't look like a normal teenage room. It's not as bad as Shirou's, obviously, but...
It was, but it was marketed to girls.
Well, it make sense, as it is for girls. :p Still, I find a bit odd an anime fan having never seen the most famous CLAMP work.
Thinkin now, they didn't make a lot of changes in US to make it more... 'manly'? It wasn't the same dub in Canada?
They're not novels, which is my point. They honestly look like technical books.
He used to read a lot of sci-fi... anyway, my point is that his room is too clean. It doesn't look like a normal teenage room. It's not as bad as Shirou's, obviously, but...
Oh, that is true. I would argue that a lot of these books could be very well sci-fi, but I agree his room too clean. Just pointing the reason of it is not the lack of books, but the lack of toys and similar stuff (games, comics, etc).
Btw, looking for screen shots of his room, I found this old one (http://randomc.animeblogger.net/image/Suzumiya%20Haruhi/Suzumiya%20Haruhi%20-%2014%20-%20Large%2031.jpg). I wonder what is inside that box(left-down corner).
Btw, looking for screen shots of his room, I found this old one (http://randomc.animeblogger.net/image/Suzumiya%20Haruhi/Suzumiya%20Haruhi%20-%2014%20-%20Large%2031.jpg). I wonder what is inside that box(left-down corner).
Apples, apparently. (http://i47.tinypic.com/2qibnr9.jpg) Though, honestly, I suspect more books. Boy needs another bookshelf.
Apples, apparently. (http://i47.tinypic.com/2qibnr9.jpg) Though, honestly, I suspect more books. Boy needs another bookshelf.
lol.
Anyway, it could be in that scene: Haruhi becomes exited with the possibility of having something interesting hidden there,just to find more books. Actually, after seen all this screenshots, I believe Haruhi should comment the unnusual amont of books there.
dragon4dudes
2009-12-09, 17:32
Stupid pun. The box could have a Mac... Yes, I know the logo is different.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-12-09, 17:54
Kyon's room is probably more cluttered than mine was when I was going to high school. Nagato has me beat, though. :heh:
Wait... come to think of it, did they never enter Nagato's apartment during Endless Eight?
dragon4dudes
2009-12-09, 17:58
I don't recall such happening. hmm
Brigade Chief's Duty
I wake up to see a pair of eyes staring at me.
Kyon: Aaaaaagh!
Haruhi: Aaaaaagh!
I scream and scramble back to the edge of the bed. Haruhi, on the other hand, falls backwards onto the floor.
Haruhi: T-the hell was that? What are you doing?!
Kyon: I could ask you the same! Why were you watching me sleep?
I rub my face hard.
Kyon: You didn't draw anything, did you?
Haruhi: W-why would I do that?!
Hmm? She's acting rather odd... her face is really red, too.
Kyon: Are you okay? You're all flush--
Haruhi: Shut up! You should show more respect for your Chief, who dragged your heavy ass all the way back here after you collapsed!
Back here? Collapsed...? From what I can see, I'm in my room, and...
Kyon: Ah.
I remember now. Haruhi put the headphones on me, and I, of course, fell unconscious, and had one of those freaky dreams again.
Lovely... wait.
My mother and sister are out... and I have the key to the house... which means one of two things...
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: Yeah?
Kyon: Did you break down the door to get in here?
Haruhi: No, of course not. I just took the key from your wallet. It was pretty easy to find.
That. It.
That's still breaking and entering! You...
I'm about to yell, but I stop when I notice the first aid kit on my bedside table.
Haruhi follows my gaze.
Haruhi: When you fainted, I kind of panicked, so I carried you home... nothing seemed to be wrong, since you were still breathing and all... I just put you in your bed, figuring I'd tell your mom when she got back...
Carried me home? A moment ago it was drag... Ugh, if the neighbours saw...
Kyon: So why the first aid kit?
She shrugs.
Haruhi: I was hoping there was, like, some smelling salts or something, but you don't have anything like that at all. What an understocked first aid kit.
...Smelling what? This isn't Victorian England, Haruhi.
Still, I'm kind of... surprised. In fact, I will even say that my mind is blown.
I expected Haruhi, if she even did anything at all, to just unceremoniously dump me at the front door, but... she actually was trying to care for me, in her own way.
In fact, it's nearly five thirty... so Haruhi must have been in my room for over an hour... just waiting.
...
It's the Brigade Chief's duty, I guess.
Haruhi: You know, your room is weird.
Kyon: Hmm?
Haruhi: It's like a painting of a room. It's like no one lives here. ...You do live here, right?
Of course!
Kyon: Well, what's your room like?
Haruhi looks away nervously.
Haruhi: Well... it's pretty messy... but that way it seems more lived in! Your room isn't human! In fact, it's very mysterious...
Kyon: You are not ransacking my room!
Haruhi: But there could be some mysterious artifact that makes whoever sleeps in the room incredibly boring!
...I'll let that one slide, since I'm grateful to her, after all. There is something, however, that I can't let slide.
Kyon: Haruhi.
Haruhi: What?
She paused, in the middle of trying to reach under my bed. Just in time, too.
Kyon: What were you doing earlier? When I woke up?
Haruhi: ...!
She freezes. That's an odd reaction to such a simple question.
Haruhi: I-I-I was just checking your t-t-temperature! I wanted to make sure you hadn't come down with a fever or something!
Kyon: That's a pretty old fashioned-way of checking temperature... and there's a thermometer in that first aid kid.
Haruhi: H-how was I supposed to use a thermometer when you were unconscious?
Kyon: It's an aural thermometer!
Haruhi: Shut up! I'll do things my own way! Besides, why are you still complaining!? B-be more thankful that I was even looking after you!
A moment of silence followed
She's red up to her ears again... I get the feeling I don't really want to know what she was doing. Still... she's surprisingly cute like that, with her expression a combination of embarrassment and worry.
...I wonder... how much trouble did she have carrying me home? I'm far too heavy for anyone Haruhi's size to carry comfortably.
...
...This isn't a situation I can deal with.
Besides, my mother and sister will be back soon. I don't want to just throw Haruhi out of here, but to be honest, I'd rather avoid awkward questions.
Haruhi: Ah, crap, how late is it? I've gotta be back home, but...
Lucky!
She gives me a quick glance, still slightly red.
Kyon: I'm fine now, just fine. It must have been a sudden bout of anaemia.
Haruhi: ...You sure? I don't think that's how--
Kyon: Fine. Here, I'll prove it to you by walking you to the door.
Haruhi: Oh no you don't, Kyon!
She pushes me back onto the bed.
Kyon: Wh--?
Haruhi: You're gonna rest, understand? I don't need you collapsing during Brigade meetings. Then what am I supposed to do?!
I don't know, take me to the Nurse's Office? Furthermore, I don't expect to be wearing those headphones to school. Speaking of which...
I interrupt Haruhi's leaving.
Kyon: Wait, Haruhi. Where'd you put the--
Haruhi: The sandwiches? I threw them into the trash, since I figured you might have passed out from food poisoning or something.
Kyon: Ah, thanks, but I was talking about the headphones.
Haruhi: ...?
She cocked her head.
Haruhi: They're around your neck. Didn't you notice...?
...
...
...
...
Haruhi: Well, see you on Monday, Kyon! And look after yourself! Or else!
Kyon: See... you.
Haruhi vanishes, leaving me alone with these things, unable to get rid of them.
...Actually, there's an easy way to get rid of them, I suppose.
I step out onto my balcony, ever so carefully remove the headphones, and with one motion, fling them into the night.
---
Dinner was a nightmare.
Apparently, my mother and sister had run into Haruhi just outside my front door... and, of course, they thought I had called her over while they were out... and now, while my sister makes fun of me, my mother begins her interrogation.
---
IF Gremlins = TRUE
Haruhi also apparently mentioned something about the 'gremlins' in our fridge... which somehow convinced my mother that we have some kind of vermin infestation. Wonderful. at least she managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them destroying my room.
---
ELSE
...At least Haruhi managed to make a better impression than she did a week ago, when we were all here doing homework. Well, really, it was just me doing homework and the rest of them making a mess of my room.
---
Ah! Homework! That's it!
I managed to get away from my mother by telling her I had homework to do... which, incidentally, I should probably start working on.
First I collapse in the street, and then my mother becomes convinced I'm dating Haruhi Suzumiya... not much could make this day worse.
...Except for the headphones, sitting neatly on my pillow, the xPod sitting just as neatly next to them, alongside a note, written in characters so perfect they look like a computer printout.
“Nice Try”.
Gremlins. It's a little sad for Kyon if Haruhi had for some time abandoned her bedside vigil of Kyon to rummage around his fridge and kitchen to search for mysterious events. :D
Well, this'll do, I think. Are there going to be more changes? What do you guys think?
Impulse Buy
...Hmm. Maybe I'll go to the mall down by the station. I have a bit of pocket change...
[Scene: Kitchen]
My mother and sister aren’t around, so I leave a note on the fridge. My mother also left a note on the fridge, telling me that she left sandwiches inside it.
This must be a reward for my hard work this morning. Hooray for me.
[Scene: Kitaguchi Station]
I walk through the shopping mall, heading for the bookstore, when suddenly!
I hear the voice of an angel, descending from Heaven to bestow divine ecstasy on mankind!
Mikuru: Uwah! So cuuuuute!
It's Asahina-san.
She's in some tiny novelty store, blessing the ears of passerby with her cute yells. Ah, bless me some more, Asahina-san! Your divine ecstasy is the best!
---
IF MikuruConvo=True THEN
So this explains where she was when I called her earlier.
To be honest... I didn't think she really did anything in her spare time.
---
I enter the store.
Kyon: Good afternoon, Asahina-san!
Mikuru: Ah! Er, good afternoon, Kyon-kun...
She moves to the side to hide what she was just looking at with such adorable eyes. What could it be? I'm almost jealous. Screw that, I am jealous.
Mikuru: What a coincidence seeing you here... haha.
Kyon: Yeah, I just came down here on a whim. What about you?
If I stretch a little, I can see over her head... it would appear as though she was looking at a case of stuffed animals. As expected of Asahina-san.
Mikuru: T-this shop, um, sells tea sets and things... I was going to buy a teaset, for a change of decoration in the clubroom...
Kyon: Sounds nice... but I think if anyone should be spending money on the clubroom, it's Haruhi.
In any case, Asahina-san must be embarrassed about the stuffed animals... Don't be, Asahina-san, they fit you perfectly... on second thought, be embarrassed, you're much cuter that way.
...I want to tease her a little.
Kyon: So why are you looking at plush toys?
Mikuru: Wah... you saw, Kyon-kun?
Well, you weren't doing that great a job of hiding it. But that's why you're so adorable, Asahina-san!
Mikuru: Um... it's just... when I see something cute for sale... I have to buy it... It's weird, right?
Kyon: Not at all! I think many girls feel this way.
People who buy on impulse like that don't tend to have much in the way of pocket change, though. Of course, it's not as though she'd need it, given that I end up paying for all of the Brigade's meals.
...Come to think of it, where does Asahina-san get her pocket change to begin with? Do her superiors provide her with it? Or does she have a part-time job?
...If she does, where would Asahina-san work? ...Well, she is very talented at serving tea... Could it be?! Does she have a part-time job as a maid somewhere?
If that's true, she must work at some rich person's house... only a wealthy family could afford a maid in this day and age.
Oh, if only I could afford Asahina-san...
Mikuru: Excuse me, I'd like to buy these...
While my mind was drifting off to the savage land, Asahina-san had taken both a stuffed lion and a Hermes tea set to the front counter. I watch with interest.
Mikuru: Uwahhhh...
Kyon: ...? What's wrong?
Mikuru: ...I... I don't have enough to buy them both... I knew this would happen...
Then why did you even pick up the lion!?
Mikuru: Sniff...
She looks at me with tearful eyes, as if expecting me to save her.
... Her sad face is so cute.
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)Buy it for her.
2)Apologize to the shopkeeper for her.
Shining So Hard It Hurts the Eyes
Don't worry, Asahina-san! I'll be your knight in shining armor!
Kyon: It's alright. I'll buy the lion for her.
The old shopkeeper nods understandingly.
I think I have enough... of course, there goes all of my pocket change.
Mikuru: Eh? No, it's okay, Kyon-kun, you don't have to... it was just an impulse buy, anyway...
Kyon: No, I insist. Consider it a present.
Ah... her smile and ever-so-slightly blushing face as I hand her the toy is worth more than all the yen in the world.
Kyon: Say, uh... are you busy right now?
She cocks her head.
Mikuru: Not really...
Kyon: Wanna walk around for a bit, then?
Mikuru: Eh... but... if Suzumiya-san sees...
---
IF HaruhiConvo= True
That's right, Haruhi is hunting around town today... still...
---
Kyon: Don't worry about that. If we run into her, I'll just say we met up by chance.
Which we did.
Asahina-san nods nervously.
Kyon: Also, let me carry that tea set.
It's the least I can do, as well.
Asahina-san cradles the stuffed lion in her arms, looking adorably happy.
A date with Asahina-san... ah... my diligence has been rewarded.
Mikuru: Sorry, what did you say, Kyon-kun?
Kyon: Ah, nothing.
Eeeeeeeh!?
Don't worry, Asahina-san! I'll save you!
I bow in apology to the shopkeeper.
Kyon: I'm sorry about this. She's my little sister, and very bad at keeping track of money. Please forget the lion.
Mikuru: Eeeeeeeh!?
The old shopkeeper nods understandingly.
Well, that problem's solved. Just put the toy back now, Asahina-san It's a waste of money anyway... wait, what's wrong?
Mikuru: N-nothing, Kyon-kun... I have to go... I promised I'd be back by now...
Wait, seriously? And promised who? ...Is she crying? Oh no, did I make her cry? What did I say?
Asahina-san picks up her bagged tea set and leaves the store, not even waving goodbye.
Kyon: Wait, Asahina-san, I--
Too late, she's gone.
The shopkeeper just rolls his eyes. What are you looking at?
...I think I need to apologize to Asahina-san the next time I meet her.
...I'm tired, I think I'll just go home.
The Asahina scenes work very well and are enjoyable. They feel in character, and the bad path hints at Mikuru's Dark Side. I guess I just forgot the outline again :heh: Is this about the same lenght as Haruhi's path? We want equal treatment to the heroines, or do we...
Shamisen isn't in the picture yet, is he? I thought Sigh took place in October and this in September?
You are right; Shamisen isn't introduced yet, but imouto was always a bratty little sister who doesn't respect her brother or his privacy. I'm sure Kyon has learnt to bar his door when he needs "private time". :D
Also, using that same episode as an example, how was Haruhi doing anything under his bed? Screenshot for Kyon's bed. (http://i48.tinypic.com/2dwf3gy.jpg) It seems to only have an inch at most space between it and the floor.
This seems like a misinterpretation by fanart. :p I do know that in Chapter 1 of Intriques, when Kyon takes Mikuru to his room, imouto was there trying to get Shamisen out from under the bed. Surely she can't be doing that if there was only 1 inch of space?
Well, it's a common for artistic liberty to make these kinds of discrepancies. In 2006, when the only official anime adaptation began, :p they depicted Kyon as being much taller than Haruhi; despite descriptions in the book that Haruhi wearing high heels would be, or would seem as tall as Kyon.
Iaevuous
2009-12-09, 23:09
imouto was always a bratty little sister who doesn't respect her brother or his privacy. I'm sure Kyon has learnt to bar his door when he needs "private time". :D
Indeed, she doesn't even bother to knock when she enters his room and rummages through his desk to look for scissors.
This seems like a misinterpretation by fanart.
Fanart? That's from Endless Eight.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-09, 23:58
Fanart? That's from Endless Eight.
That's the joke.
swtrooper42
2009-12-10, 09:44
This seems like a misinterpretation by fanart.Fanart? That's from Endless Eight. That's the joke.
*Ba Dum Tiss* (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl3UMO-TkE)
I would say no fan could unleash something as horrible as Endless Eight upon the world... but I've seen fanfiction.net. >_>
Smeghead
2009-12-10, 10:34
Fanart? That's from Endless Eight.
That's the joke.
http://www.ieatbees.com/pics/thatsthejoke.jpg
dragon4dudes
2009-12-10, 18:15
Har har... FF.net... There are some good but just about everything else is bad...
swtrooper42
2009-12-10, 20:40
Har har... FF.net... There are some good but just about everything else is bad...
That would be Sturgeon's Law (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitle3tinj4tz?from=Main.SturgeonsLaw).
dragon4dudes
2009-12-10, 20:50
Well, it's true, mostly...
Nanao-kun
2009-12-12, 16:53
I would say no fan could unleash something as horrible as Endless Eight upon the world... but I've seen fanfiction.net. >_>
I used to frequent that site a few years back. I've read quite a few good stories, but everything else was simply horrible.
SgtHydra
2009-12-12, 23:52
I used to frequent that site a few years back. I've read quite a few good stories, but everything else was simply horrible.
There are still some gems on it.
They are rare, but that's life.
e.g.?
(shit I should really do my HaloxHaruhi but I ran out of ideas for next mission D: )
SgtHydra
2009-12-12, 23:58
e.g.?
(shit I should really do my HaloxHaruhi but I ran out of ideas for next mission D: )
Examples?
The only one I could pull out is Anatomy of Melancholy (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5185574/1/).
It's just... yeah...
Sad...
And yeah, I need moar killin' of de xenos by de Haruhi. >:3
lol.
Ive been doing my fluff instead XD
Maybe somehow incorporate or smth.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-13, 05:20
The only one I could pull out is Anatomy of Melancholy (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5185574/1/).
You people need to stop giving me wonderful, awful ideas.
swtrooper42
2009-12-13, 05:33
I always liked Anatomy of Melancholy. Made me think.
Kaisos, whatever it is you're thinking just back away from it nice and slowly.
Puffendahl
2009-12-13, 06:06
Ah, fanfiction.net. I'm afraid a certain preteen me once unleashed some horrendous things on the poor, poor Internet through that site. Shame on me, really. I'm glad I don't use the same username anymore, I don't want to be associated with my dark past :heh:
The sheer lack of quality of most fanfiction is probably why fan projects like this always get some prejudice. Since the basis is in an existing canon like in regular fanfiction, and the term fanfiction itself seems to equal the adjective horrible to many (with a pretty good reason too, even though there obviously are many gems out there too).
Well, that's me stating the obvious I suppose, but hey, what would you expect from an ex-horriblefic writer? :p
Dr Horrible Fanfiction you say
I never wrote anything too bad for fanfiction.net I think. Mine was always up to a good-ish standard (you can look me up on there and see for yourself :P)
Puffendahl
2009-12-13, 08:01
It just happens that at times, Artsy-Fartsy Teenage Angst + English Not First Language + Fanfiction.net = Oh Dear. Add some fangirly tendencies and you've got yourself an epic mess. There are always exceptions to a rule of course, but not everyone can be one.
But luckily, that was long ago for this individual, so no-one has to worry about me going on and writing bad angsty-shippy-super-exciting-squee-fics of a self-insert original character and Yuuki to ruin your eyes. Or a Possession Sue Kyonko with all of the boys. Or anything else you can think of.
I'm just glad FF.net gathers them all into one place. Means i'm less likely to run into them elsewhere.
I'm just glad FF.net gathers them all into one place. Means i'm less likely to run into them elsewhere.You see, you think that, and then they pop up somewhere else...
Examples?
The only one I could pull out is Anatomy of Melancholy (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5185574/1/).
It's just... yeah...
Sad...
And yeah, I need moar killin' of de xenos by de Haruhi. >:3
At least these stories you guys keep linking me to are one pagers. It's bad times for my productivity when someone links me to something longer (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3337074/1/Im_Here_to_Help).
Hey Kaisos, do you still need someone to do fluff?
Cos I can do that. :D
Dammit, stupid hill. Why do you have to be so damn tall!? It’s always the damn same. Maybe I should be complaining about the gates instead. Dammit, stupid gates! Why do you have to be so far UP the hill!? Eventually I swung myself into my classroom.
She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don’t know why
But she’s changed my mind
Ah, Haruhi. Always looking out the window. I sighed, and sat down in my seat in front of her. “Sup.” She glanced at me once, and then looked away again. “Why? What’d I do? Did I miss something?”
She paused, before speaking. “You do know what day it is, right.”
I mock scratched my head. “No?” Of course I knew. I wouldn’t forget today.
She sighed irritably. “Fine.”
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
I stared at her intently. Hm. A ponytail. Well, can’t let that cloud my plans. Maybe what’s waiting at today’s end wasn’t worth having Koizumi have to ‘take a day off sick’. I’m glad he did it for me, but I have a feeling he’s going to have a whole lot more on his hands than I expected. Maybe when I get home I should fancy up a bit before calling Haruhi about why I didn’t show up at the meeting.
“Ah, the teacher’s here. How the hell can you do so well in tests and yet never pay attention in class?” I asked her, changing the subject from ‘what I’d forgotten’.
She glared at me for a moment, before turning away.
She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn’t end
Why didn’t I know what I know now
As my mind wandered during class, I somehow came to dreams. Yes, it WAS kind of like THOSE dreams. But not really. The one where I uh, first kissed Haruhi. I THINK. That was ages ago though. I still remember it like it happened last night though. We were the only ones in there. How strange. Or maybe not so strange, given our current relationship. Which I might add, may be in a hasty closure. Although, I must say, I didn’t think about her in that way back then. I just did what I had to do to keep her from destroying my world. I liked my world. And now I like it even more. I dozed. Hum, perhaps I’ll think better this afternoon...
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
Shrill as a whistle in my ear, the bell signaling the end of the school day rung in my ears. Goddamit! I looked behind me; good, Haruhi had already left. I sprinted down the hallway. Okay, I’ve only got so long before Haruhi decides to look for me. As I made my way out to the sunlight, I looked at my watch. 3:15 PM. Okay, the meeting should officially start at 3:45. Which means she’ll wait till 3:45 before looking for me. Or maybe 3:55, knowing my track record.
Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
I’m ready to spend the rest of my life
With you
Alright then.
Decorations: Check.
Right shirt: Check.
Present: Check.
Haruhi: CRAP, HARUHI! She should be coming this way at least. Where the HELL is she. I looked out my window. Dammit, no sign of her. Hum, and this is the first time I actually got off my bum to do something for her. Ah, there she is! Quickly I made sure the front door was unlocked. I definitely didn’t want the door to be smashed in for my little surprise.
The light was at just the right angle through my window: it was filtering through the tree leaves onto my bed. Great. Everything was set, except for me.
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
“KYON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I could hear her coming up the stairs. Dammit, gotta get into position which is pretty hard when you’re carrying something so large and heavy that it’s GOT to be strange in Haruhi’s books – I quickly slammed the door shut – COME ON, SIT ON THE BED AS THOUGH YOU WERE WAITING FOR HER -
She effectively kicked the door open. She opened her mouth angrily to slap me around abet but then she just stared at me. I cocked an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? You haven’t seen a guy with a life sized effigy of himself in white chocolate?” A bead of sweat dropped down onto the bed sheets. Heh. I totally loved that look on her face. Priceless. I quickly snapped a picture with my camera I had in my other hand. She quickly changed her expression. “Hmph. Stupid Kyon.”
“YEAH, SURE. Call me all you want, but you weren’t expecting this, were you?” I lay the effigy of myself down on the bed.
“Yes! I totally was! I knew you wouldn’t...well, you shouldn’t...well alright fine, I doubted you’d remember what today was...”
“Exactly.” I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. “Happy White Day, Haruhi.”
She smiled and leaned into my chest. I looked back my bed. Crap.
“UH, Haruhi, can you help me eat my white chocolate self? It might drip everywhere otherwise...”
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
I watched her gouging into the white chocolate leg. She looked up at me, the leg still in her hands. “Sup?”
“Eh, I was just observing how tasty it is based on how you were eating it so quickly.” I scratched my nose, coming up with an excuse without having to comment on how cute she was when she was licking chocolate.
“Mmhm, it’s really good!” She nodded emphatically, and was about to take another bite when I said in mock shock, “What, even better than the real me?!” I grabbed the box that the chocolate had come in, and started packing it back in. “Then you won’t be getting any more of this. Hmph.”
She thought for a bit, and then said thoughtfully, “Well, we’ve never tasted each other before have we?”
“Oh yeah...”
“Well then!” She came to a conclusion and clapped her hands, before pouncing on me and pushing me down. “How about we do that now?”
I faked a sigh. “Yare yare. Whatever.” I lifted her wrist, hand pointed towards me. She looked at me quizzically. I kept my eyes on her as I started licking her fingers.
“Kyaa, that tickles dammit!” She had her eyes half shut from trying to stop herself from laughing.
“Pfft, you love the feeling of my tongue.” Wait, did I just say that?
Haruhi promptly turned red. “Damn you, Kyon.” She encircled her arms around my neck and kissed me lightly, before letting her head rest on my chest. “I should probably lick your fingers from chocolate too; I don’t want my uniform dirty...” She delicately licked my hands. I shivered from the sensation. Eventually she returned her head onto my chest and I lifted her chin with one hand. With the other wrapped around her waist, I kissed her. Gradually, I deepened the kiss. The hand on her chin started stroking her back; the other was running through her hair. Hers were simply tracing patterns on my neck. I slipped my hands under her shirt; I withdrew from the kiss, a thread of saliva hanging from our tongues. Then I started licking her neck; letting my hands run up and down her back; stroking and tracing circles. I pulled her in closer to me; she started to kiss me on my neck and face. I watched her expression, now flushed. Then my hands started to trace around her chest. I stopped.
She opened her eyes. “Hm? What’s wrong?”
“Moral dilemma.” I answered, stroking her stomach absentmindedly.
She raised her eyebrow quizzically. I tapped her bra. “Oh. Well I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, well, me neither, just that I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop afterwards.”
“Oh whatever.” She brought her face close to mine. “Just do it.” She whispered.
Let’s just say...a lot of good and interesting things to both of us happened that afternoon. No there was no...Uh, you know. But Haruhi did get her fill of white chocolate. You can think all you want, but it was totally innocuous white chocolate. I swear. I know that I sound like it’s not what I mean, but it is. I would NEVER do that. Right? Come on, I know she’s cute and stunning and everything, but that’s too early! Right?!
I has moar if need be. :D
Nanao-kun
2009-12-14, 19:10
Hey Kaisos, do you still need someone to do fluff?
Cos I can do that. :D
Dammit, stupid hill. Why do you have to be so damn tall!? It’s always the damn same. Maybe I should be complaining about the gates instead. Dammit, stupid gates! Why do you have to be so far UP the hill!? Eventually I swung myself into my classroom.
She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don’t know why
But she’s changed my mind
Ah, Haruhi. Always looking out the window. I sighed, and sat down in my seat in front of her. “Sup.” She glanced at me once, and then looked away again. “Why? What’d I do? Did I miss something?”
She paused, before speaking. “You do know what day it is, right.”
I mock scratched my head. “No?” Of course I knew. I wouldn’t forget today.
She sighed irritably. “Fine.”
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
I stared at her intently. Hm. A ponytail. Well, can’t let that cloud my plans. Maybe what’s waiting at today’s end wasn’t worth having Koizumi have to ‘take a day off sick’. I’m glad he did it for me, but I have a feeling he’s going to have a whole lot more on his hands than I expected. Maybe when I get home I should fancy up a bit before calling Haruhi about why I didn’t show up at the meeting.
“Ah, the teacher’s here. How the hell can you do so well in tests and yet never pay attention in class?” I asked her, changing the subject from ‘what I’d forgotten’.
She glared at me for a moment, before turning away.
She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn’t end
Why didn’t I know what I know now
As my mind wandered during class, I somehow came to dreams. Yes, it WAS kind of like THOSE dreams. But not really. The one where I uh, first kissed Haruhi. I THINK. That was ages ago though. I still remember it like it happened last night though. We were the only ones in there. How strange. Or maybe not so strange, given our current relationship. Which I might add, may be in a hasty closure. Although, I must say, I didn’t think about her in that way back then. I just did what I had to do to keep her from destroying my world. I liked my world. And now I like it even more. I dozed. Hum, perhaps I’ll think better this afternoon...
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
Shrill as a whistle in my ear, the bell signaling the end of the school day rung in my ears. Goddamit! I looked behind me; good, Haruhi had already left. I sprinted down the hallway. Okay, I’ve only got so long before Haruhi decides to look for me. As I made my way out to the sunlight, I looked at my watch. 3:15 PM. Okay, the meeting should officially start at 3:45. Which means she’ll wait till 3:45 before looking for me. Or maybe 3:55, knowing my track record.
Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
I’m ready to spend the rest of my life
With you
Alright then.
Decorations: Check.
Right shirt: Check.
Present: Check.
Haruhi: CRAP, HARUHI! She should be coming this way at least. Where the HELL is she. I looked out my window. Dammit, no sign of her. Hum, and this is the first time I actually got off my bum to do something for her. Ah, there she is! Quickly I made sure the front door was unlocked. I definitely didn’t want the door to be smashed in for my little surprise.
The light was at just the right angle through my window: it was filtering through the tree leaves onto my bed. Great. Everything was set, except for me.
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
“KYON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I could hear her coming up the stairs. Dammit, gotta get into position which is pretty hard when you’re carrying something so large and heavy that it’s GOT to be strange in Haruhi’s books – I quickly slammed the door shut – COME ON, SIT ON THE BED AS THOUGH YOU WERE WAITING FOR HER -
She effectively kicked the door open. She opened her mouth angrily to slap me around abet but then she just stared at me. I cocked an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? You haven’t seen a guy with a life sized effigy of himself in white chocolate?” A bead of sweat dropped down onto the bed sheets. Heh. I totally loved that look on her face. Priceless. I quickly snapped a picture with my camera I had in my other hand. She quickly changed her expression. “Hmph. Stupid Kyon.”
“YEAH, SURE. Call me all you want, but you weren’t expecting this, were you?” I lay the effigy of myself down on the bed.
“Yes! I totally was! I knew you wouldn’t...well, you shouldn’t...well alright fine, I doubted you’d remember what today was...”
“Exactly.” I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. “Happy White Day, Haruhi.”
She smiled and leaned into my chest. I looked back my bed. Crap.
“UH, Haruhi, can you help me eat my white chocolate self? It might drip everywhere otherwise...”
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
I watched her gouging into the white chocolate leg. She looked up at me, the leg still in her hands. “Sup?”
“Eh, I was just observing how tasty it is based on how you were eating it so quickly.” I scratched my nose, coming up with an excuse without having to comment on how cute she was when she was licking chocolate.
“Mmhm, it’s really good!” She nodded emphatically, and was about to take another bite when I said in mock shock, “What, even better than the real me?!” I grabbed the box that the chocolate had come in, and started packing it back in. “Then you won’t be getting any more of this. Hmph.”
She thought for a bit, and then said thoughtfully, “Well, we’ve never tasted each other before have we?”
“Oh yeah...”
“Well then!” She came to a conclusion and clapped her hands, before pouncing on me and pushing me down. “How about we do that now?”
I faked a sigh. “Yare yare. Whatever.” I lifted her wrist, hand pointed towards me. She looked at me quizzically. I kept my eyes on her as I started licking her fingers.
“Kyaa, that tickles dammit!” She had her eyes half shut from trying to stop herself from laughing.
“Pfft, you love the feeling of my tongue.” Wait, did I just say that?
Haruhi promptly turned red. “Damn you, Kyon.” She encircled her arms around my neck and kissed me lightly, before letting her head rest on my chest. “I should probably lick your fingers from chocolate too; I don’t want my uniform dirty...” She delicately licked my hands. I shivered from the sensation. Eventually she returned her head onto my chest and I lifted her chin with one hand. With the other wrapped around her waist, I kissed her. Gradually, I deepened the kiss. The hand on her chin started stroking her back; the other was running through her hair. Hers were simply tracing patterns on my neck. I slipped my hands under her shirt; I withdrew from the kiss, a thread of saliva hanging from our tongues. Then I started licking her neck; letting my hands run up and down her back; stroking and tracing circles. I pulled her in closer to me; she started to kiss me on my neck and face. I watched her expression, now flushed. Then my hands started to trace around her chest. I stopped.
She opened her eyes. “Hm? What’s wrong?”
“Moral dilemma.” I answered, stroking her stomach absentmindedly.
She raised her eyebrow quizzically. I tapped her bra. “Oh. Well I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, well, me neither, just that I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop afterwards.”
“Oh whatever.” She brought her face close to mine. “Just do it.” She whispered.
Let’s just say...a lot of good and interesting things to both of us happened that afternoon. No there was no...Uh, you know. But Haruhi did get her fill of white chocolate. You can think all you want, but it was totally innocuous white chocolate. I swear. I know that I sound like it’s not what I mean, but it is. I would NEVER do that. Right? Come on, I know she’s cute and stunning and everything, but that’s too early! Right?!
I has moar if need be. :D
Seems pretty good. Besides the inclusion of a song.
vedicardi
2009-12-15, 00:19
I disagree
dragon4dudes
2009-12-15, 00:21
May the wrath of Haruhi or Kyonko or Midori come down on you.
...
Lol.
You may now ignore this post.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-15, 01:08
*snip*
What. -_-
lol.
*points at blh88's sig*
lol I forgot to remove it... you should also check the thread XD
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-16, 05:16
Much apologies, I couldn't finish writing tonight.
The entire Mikuru and Yuki sections will be finished by this Sunday, though! I swear!
Roger Rambo
2009-12-16, 07:23
Hey Kaisos, do you still need someone to do fluff?
Cos I can do that. :D
Dammit, stupid hill. Why do you have to be so damn tall!? It’s always the damn same. Maybe I should be complaining about the gates instead. Dammit, stupid gates! Why do you have to be so far UP the hill!? Eventually I swung myself into my classroom.
She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don’t know why
But she’s changed my mind
Ah, Haruhi. Always looking out the window. I sighed, and sat down in my seat in front of her. “Sup.” She glanced at me once, and then looked away again. “Why? What’d I do? Did I miss something?”
She paused, before speaking. “You do know what day it is, right.”
I mock scratched my head. “No?” Of course I knew. I wouldn’t forget today.
She sighed irritably. “Fine.”
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
I stared at her intently. Hm. A ponytail. Well, can’t let that cloud my plans. Maybe what’s waiting at today’s end wasn’t worth having Koizumi have to ‘take a day off sick’. I’m glad he did it for me, but I have a feeling he’s going to have a whole lot more on his hands than I expected. Maybe when I get home I should fancy up a bit before calling Haruhi about why I didn’t show up at the meeting.
“Ah, the teacher’s here. How the hell can you do so well in tests and yet never pay attention in class?” I asked her, changing the subject from ‘what I’d forgotten’.
She glared at me for a moment, before turning away.
She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn’t end
Why didn’t I know what I know now
As my mind wandered during class, I somehow came to dreams. Yes, it WAS kind of like THOSE dreams. But not really. The one where I uh, first kissed Haruhi. I THINK. That was ages ago though. I still remember it like it happened last night though. We were the only ones in there. How strange. Or maybe not so strange, given our current relationship. Which I might add, may be in a hasty closure. Although, I must say, I didn’t think about her in that way back then. I just did what I had to do to keep her from destroying my world. I liked my world. And now I like it even more. I dozed. Hum, perhaps I’ll think better this afternoon...
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
Shrill as a whistle in my ear, the bell signaling the end of the school day rung in my ears. Goddamit! I looked behind me; good, Haruhi had already left. I sprinted down the hallway. Okay, I’ve only got so long before Haruhi decides to look for me. As I made my way out to the sunlight, I looked at my watch. 3:15 PM. Okay, the meeting should officially start at 3:45. Which means she’ll wait till 3:45 before looking for me. Or maybe 3:55, knowing my track record.
Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
And right now
I’m ready to spend the rest of my life
With you
Alright then.
Decorations: Check.
Right shirt: Check.
Present: Check.
Haruhi: CRAP, HARUHI! She should be coming this way at least. Where the HELL is she. I looked out my window. Dammit, no sign of her. Hum, and this is the first time I actually got off my bum to do something for her. Ah, there she is! Quickly I made sure the front door was unlocked. I definitely didn’t want the door to be smashed in for my little surprise.
The light was at just the right angle through my window: it was filtering through the tree leaves onto my bed. Great. Everything was set, except for me.
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
“KYON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I could hear her coming up the stairs. Dammit, gotta get into position which is pretty hard when you’re carrying something so large and heavy that it’s GOT to be strange in Haruhi’s books – I quickly slammed the door shut – COME ON, SIT ON THE BED AS THOUGH YOU WERE WAITING FOR HER -
She effectively kicked the door open. She opened her mouth angrily to slap me around abet but then she just stared at me. I cocked an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? You haven’t seen a guy with a life sized effigy of himself in white chocolate?” A bead of sweat dropped down onto the bed sheets. Heh. I totally loved that look on her face. Priceless. I quickly snapped a picture with my camera I had in my other hand. She quickly changed her expression. “Hmph. Stupid Kyon.”
“YEAH, SURE. Call me all you want, but you weren’t expecting this, were you?” I lay the effigy of myself down on the bed.
“Yes! I totally was! I knew you wouldn’t...well, you shouldn’t...well alright fine, I doubted you’d remember what today was...”
“Exactly.” I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. “Happy White Day, Haruhi.”
She smiled and leaned into my chest. I looked back my bed. Crap.
“UH, Haruhi, can you help me eat my white chocolate self? It might drip everywhere otherwise...”
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl
I watched her gouging into the white chocolate leg. She looked up at me, the leg still in her hands. “Sup?”
“Eh, I was just observing how tasty it is based on how you were eating it so quickly.” I scratched my nose, coming up with an excuse without having to comment on how cute she was when she was licking chocolate.
“Mmhm, it’s really good!” She nodded emphatically, and was about to take another bite when I said in mock shock, “What, even better than the real me?!” I grabbed the box that the chocolate had come in, and started packing it back in. “Then you won’t be getting any more of this. Hmph.”
She thought for a bit, and then said thoughtfully, “Well, we’ve never tasted each other before have we?”
“Oh yeah...”
“Well then!” She came to a conclusion and clapped her hands, before pouncing on me and pushing me down. “How about we do that now?”
I faked a sigh. “Yare yare. Whatever.” I lifted her wrist, hand pointed towards me. She looked at me quizzically. I kept my eyes on her as I started licking her fingers.
“Kyaa, that tickles dammit!” She had her eyes half shut from trying to stop herself from laughing.
“Pfft, you love the feeling of my tongue.” Wait, did I just say that?
Haruhi promptly turned red. “Damn you, Kyon.” She encircled her arms around my neck and kissed me lightly, before letting her head rest on my chest. “I should probably lick your fingers from chocolate too; I don’t want my uniform dirty...” She delicately licked my hands. I shivered from the sensation. Eventually she returned her head onto my chest and I lifted her chin with one hand. With the other wrapped around her waist, I kissed her. Gradually, I deepened the kiss. The hand on her chin started stroking her back; the other was running through her hair. Hers were simply tracing patterns on my neck. I slipped my hands under her shirt; I withdrew from the kiss, a thread of saliva hanging from our tongues. Then I started licking her neck; letting my hands run up and down her back; stroking and tracing circles. I pulled her in closer to me; she started to kiss me on my neck and face. I watched her expression, now flushed. Then my hands started to trace around her chest. I stopped.
She opened her eyes. “Hm? What’s wrong?”
“Moral dilemma.” I answered, stroking her stomach absentmindedly.
She raised her eyebrow quizzically. I tapped her bra. “Oh. Well I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, well, me neither, just that I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop afterwards.”
“Oh whatever.” She brought her face close to mine. “Just do it.” She whispered.
Let’s just say...a lot of good and interesting things to both of us happened that afternoon. No there was no...Uh, you know. But Haruhi did get her fill of white chocolate. You can think all you want, but it was totally innocuous white chocolate. I swear. I know that I sound like it’s not what I mean, but it is. I would NEVER do that. Right? Come on, I know she’s cute and stunning and everything, but that’s too early! Right?!
I has moar if need be. :D
Interesting but...I don't think that's genderbending.
CrowKenobi
2009-12-16, 13:08
Interesting but...I don't think that's genderbending.But does it qualify as fluff? ;) :p
Roger Rambo
2009-12-16, 15:15
But does it qualify as fluff? ;) :p
I fail to see the joke here.
...
It's fluff.
I was just qualifying that I could do fluff, s'all.
Ricky Controversy
2009-12-18, 16:27
I'm giving the scripts a once-over still. Here's a change I would recommend for the "Why, Naze?" segment in Universe 1 on September 2nd, changes in bold.
There’s a million things I’d rather be doing right now than hurrying to school, heavy bag slung over one shoulder and bright, burning sunlight beaming down upon me, but unfortunately I am a student who must attend a school. This school, actually. At the top of the very tall hill?
I curse the day I decided to attend this school, at the top of the incredibly tall hill that takes forever to climb, and I curse the thousand and one small delays that means I’m later than I normally am, and I curse the summer – well, autumn – sun above me. I’m in a cursing kind of mood, I suppose.
That stuff that happened last night – what was up with that? Overtiredness, like I originally thought? Or is it more weirdness sourced from the Queen of Oddity herself, Suzumiya Haruhi? I’ll have to ask one of the Brigade members, if I get the chance.
I wipe my brow with one hand as I survey the path laid out before me. I thought I was used to it, by now, but I guess my long, long, long summer break erased any sense of familiarity from my mind. And besides, it’s still unnaturally hot. Stupid heat.
As I crest the top of one of the smaller hills as I trek up the concrete path, I notice a slender figure standing by a lightpost, staring up at the sky.
Kyon: ...Koizumi?
He turns, his face taking on that familiar, suspicious-looking expression, but not quite quickly enough. I catch a brief glimpse of a completely foreign expression on his face before he manages to bring forth that fox-smile of his.
Itsuki: Ah, good morning.
Kyon: What are you doing out here on your lonesome, so early on this incredibly hot day?
Itsuki: It’s not early. In fact, you’re late.
Kyon: I’m late? Then aren’t you late? And what were you doing out here?
Itsuki: Ah, but you see, I am but a poor, mysterious transfer student. Who knows my strange, foreign ways? Perhaps for me, ‘late’ is actually ‘on time’.
Kyon: ...That makes no sense whatsoever and you’re avoiding the question.
Itsuki: So I am, so I am.
Arrgh! It’s too early in the morning to have to deal with this guy!
Itsuki: In any case, the fact remains that you are as late as I am. Or am not, as the case may be.
Kyon: Why can’t you ever say anything simply?
Koizumi smiles. Or at least, the corners of his mouth turn upwards, and he shows his teeth.
Itsuki: Because, my friend, that would be too easy.
Kyon: ...
I was going to ask this joker about the events of last night, but I decide against it. I don’t think I want my head to split open this early in the morning. Besides, perhaps Yuki might know something more helpful, and I won’t have to wade through this torrent of wordplay to get to it.
Kyon: Come on. Let’s just get to class.
Itsuki: What, giving up so soon? I’d expect you to be more inquisitive about my reasons for standing out here in the baking hot sunlight.
Kyon: Whatever they are, they’re your reasons. Besides, asking you would mean having to listen to more of your babbling.
Itsuki: Ah, I see. However, I wonder if it is fair to call it babbling? Is my speech not coherent?
Kyon: Put it this way: one day, your mouth will utter a certain combination of words that, in conjunction with the actual contents of what your phrasing will contain, will cause my poor overworked head to explode.
Itsuki: I'm afraid that would be impossible, unless you are suggesting I have somehow acquired Nagato-san's powers?
Kyon: ...You talk too much.
---
Here's another one, for the "Normality" segment in Universe 1, September 2nd, particularly the "Abnormality" branch.
Abnormality
"Maybe I'll indulge her whims for once."
"Hey, I can introduce my theory to the suspect herself!"
Kyon: "You ever find that the clock on your cellphone is running faster than every other clock?"
Haruhi: "Not really. Why? Is yours?"
"An instant response!"
Kyon: "No, mine would the opposite. For some reason, whenever I'm supposed to meet up with you, I'm inevitably late, and I was just wondering..."
Haruhi: "You sure it's not because you're incredibly lazy?"
Kyon: "No, I'm sure it's uh, mysterious events at work. Yeah."
Haruhi: "…"
"In a single, swift motion, she grabs my watch arm and pulls her cellphone out of her skirt pocket."
Haruhi: "...They're the exact same time. Nope, nothing mysterious there."
Kyon: "Oh. That's too bad."
"...Hey, wait a minute. Don't you find something incredibly wrong with the conversation we just had!?"
"Weren't the roles reversed just a little? And isn't having the exact same time on two different clocks mysterious in and of itself?"
"In fact, wouldn't that confirm my theory!?"
Kyon: "Maybe the universe, uh, twisted itself in that moment to make--"
Haruhi: "Stop trying, Kyon. Your weak effort is duly noted, but mysteriously wrong clocks are small-time in the realm of the mysterious, especially when they're not mysteriously wrong."
"I didn't know there was a Realm of the Mysterious... wait, no, please don't let it be real, please."
Haruhi: "Plus, you don't always show up after me every time. There was that one..."
"She stops suddenly, and gets an odd look on her face. (I actually can't describe it in words.)"
Haruhi: "...Nevermind. Anyway, since you're starting to put more effort into your job as an SOS Brigade member-"
"Job!?"
Haruhi: "-That I've decided to promote you one rank from “Lowest Ranked Member” to “Second Lowest Ranked Member”!"
Kyon: "Really?"
"Crap, I think that sounded too excited. I really don't care, believe me."
Haruhi: "In fact, everyone's been doing such a good job lately that I've decided to promote you all one rank!"
"That's... wait. That means... I'd still be at the bottom."
"Dammit! She's laughing, watching me figure it out! Damn you!"
"I'll get even one day!"
"Sigh..."
"Even though it's aggravating for me, watching her enjoy herself like this is much better than watching her suffer in melancholy."
"It'd be good if she could be like this all the time, for nothing to bother her. If nothing bothered her, then all of the mysterious events would slowly go away, and we could all live normal lives again."
"And not have to go through an endless, repeating summer, ever again..."
"Haruhi doesn't know what it's like to be us, to have to deal with all the problems she creates."
"And if that keeps her laughing like she is now, that's probably..."
Haruhi: "Haha... lighten up, Kyon! Life's an adventure! That's one of the creeds of the SOS Brigade! Besides, if you want to move up, you need to make up for your laziness last semester."
"...for the best."
IF DebtSlave = True THEN
"Later, in English class, I felt the distinct pain of a mechanical pencil being pushed into the space in between my shoulder blades."
Kyon: "Sigh... what is it?"
Haruhi: "Hey, don't forget that you're buying me lunch today."
"My suffering never ends!"
For "Guillotine", September 2nd...
Guillotine
"On a normal school day like today, there's only one thing I hear from Haruhi when the last bell rings."
Haruhi: "Go straight to the clubroom, or heads will roll!"
"Or something along those lines, anyway. And then, zoom! She's off. Could somebody please post a speed limit in the hallways?"
"Today she mentioned something about a “special brigade meeting” before dashing off. I would be going anyway, but that kind of declaration doesn't exactly put me in the mood for it."
"Of course, I don't exactly have to run there, either..."
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Go straight there.
2) Walk around a bit first.
The Slave of Suzumiya
"I don't want to see Haruhi's angry eyes, so I'll head straight to the clubroom. I could run, but that would put me at the risk of looking like an idiot. Like a certain someone I know."
"Besides, who knows? This “special brigade meeting” could actually be kind of fun."
"...No, no it won't be, and I should be shot for even considering the possibility. "
"Sigh... such is my everyday life. Is there anyone else who could claim to have an everyday life like this and not have died from exhaustion and/or homicidal alien schoolgirls?"
"I must be a medical miracle."
No Promotion for You
"...Yeah, I'm just going to take my time."
"Although showing initiative would impress the leader of any normal brigade, I have doubts that any initiative on my part would impress this one. Besides, do I really want to impress her?"
"No, don't answer that."
"Guess I'll just walk around the hallways for a bit..."
"This risks a piercing glare from Haruhi Suzumiya, but at least I can still count myself as an independent being."
"I'm independent, right?"
For "I Will Have My Revenge, Too", September 2nd...
I Will Have My Revenge Too
"Before I was forcibly inducted into the SOS Brigade, I never quite appreciated how enjoyable it is to just walk around at your own pace."
"Of course, walking around the halls of this school, for some reason, carries with it its own risks."
Boy: "The time... has come."
In one of the hallways that connects to the Old Shack, I ran into a student gazing out over the courtyard below, muttering ominously to himself.
Boy: "Soon... very soon, I shall once again be the master of that computer! Soon, soon..."
"He seems familiar."
"...Ah, right, this is the president of the Computer Research Society. I've known him, or perhaps that's known of him, almost as long as I've been in the SOS Brigade. We don't really talk much, though, thanks to certain events entirely of Haruhi's making."
CSP: "Yes, Soon, yes, that stupid bitch and her cronies will get what's coming to them... yes, yes, ahahahahaha!"
"The reason for that should be obvious, and I'd tell you if I weren't still mortally embarrassed by it, but... simply put, it involved: his hand, Mikuru's chest, and a camera. Oh, and their prized computer."
"By the way, he used to be more normal than this. He's a stunning example of why you don't get involved with Haruhi."
CSP: "With what is written on this piece of paper I hold in my hand right at this very moment, I, the Computer Society President, shall unhinge that horrid club from its... horrid... clubroom."
Kyon: "You know, in my experience, Haruhi shows up whenever someone says bad things about the SOS Brigade."
CSP: "Gah!!!! Yoooooouuuuuuuu!"
"He instantly crumples the piece of paper he was holding and throws it out the window, then looks around innocently."
"Uh. No, he was never like this at all."
Kyon: "...Did something bad happen recently?"
CSP: "Yes. Why do you ask? I'll tell you about it if you want to listen."
Kyon: "Uh, no thanks. In fact, I'm kind of busy, later."
CSP: "That's fine, fine. I, too, am busy. Um, later, that is. ...I'm also busy now."
"Busy with a psychiatric appointment, I hope."
CSP: "I, um, have to go get my piece of paper."
"Or not."
"When I finally got to the clubroom, Haruhi was there waiting for me."
Haruhi: "Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyouuuuuuuuuuuu'reeeeeeee late!"
"That's the second time I've heard that today from you. Nice job with that extended 'you're', by the way. Makes me feel appreciated."
Haruhi: "Whatever, here, look at this. It hit me on the head as I was walking through the courtyard."
"...It's a crumpled piece of paper that reads, in feverish writing, 'IMPORTANT! EXPOSE ILLEGAL CLUBROOM OCCUPATION TO AUTHORITIES! FOR GLORY!'"
Haruhi: "Any idea what this means?"
Kyon: "...Nope, none at all."
"Normal days don't last very long when you're a member of the SOS Brigade."
For the "Paradox, Redux" segment, September 2nd, Universe A...
Paradox, Redux
"I managed to get Asahina-senpai home by convincing him to wear that frog suit Haruki made us all work entirely too hard for."
"It was embarrassing for him, but compared to walking home dressed as a French Maid? It's... an improvement."
"Considering what happened this morning, I had been rather nervous about going back home, but my father seemed to have forgotten. Instead, he mentioned how great it was that I was taking more of an interest in healthy eating, but eating all the eggs is going a bit far, and that they don't help with breast growth either, if I was wondering."
"Sigh... yes, father, I'll go buy more eggs, even though I wasn't the one who ate them, since I haven't been home all day. Why am I always blamed for food going missing? Isn't it more appropriate to blame the younger, irresponsible sibling? And why this focus on breast growth?"
"And that's why I'm heading to the supermarket at night, to buy eggs so we can actually have breakfast tomorrow."
"...I'm going to kill my little brother."
"I've always been a little scared of the dark. I guess it's one of those primal fears all humans have."
"And like most humans, I'm also scared of what's in the dark. So of course, I screamed when something big and hunched over stumbled out of the bushes."
Man: "Uggh..."
"It's someone with long brown hair, wearing semiformal dress clothing, and clutching his chest in pain."
Kyonko: "Asahina... san...?"
Big Mitsuuru: "A-Ah, K-Kyon-chan, you r-remember me. Hrggggh... good. I made it to the right, urgh, time..."
"Like I said, Asahina-senapi is a time traveller, and this is him. From the future. To differentiate, I think of him as 'Asahina-san (that's Future him...) and 'Asahina-senpai (the 'present' him)'. If he weren't hunched over in extreme pain right now, he'd be his normal incredibly attractive self."
Kyonko: "A-are you okay, Asahina-san?!"
Big Mitsuuru: "Listen to me- grgggh... v-very carefully, Kyon-chan. What exactly happened today? Anything out of the ordinary?"
"…"
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)“What do you mean, what happened to me? What happened to you?!”
2)“Nothing happened that I can think, of, no...”
For "Carton of Eggs", Universe 1, September 3rd.
Carton of Eggs
"…"
"It’s early morning. It’s rare that I ever wake up this early on my own."
"But for the past few nights, I’ve been having strange dreams about... well, a pool of water in the sky. That ripples, as though water was falling into it from somewhere."
"Or was the pool of water the sky itself?"
"I know it doesn't really make any sense, but that's dreams for you."
"It’s said that most of the dreams people have they never remember in the morning. I suppose that’s why I-"
"Forget everything you’ve ever known"
"-can never remember the details."
"Still, I think there was something important…"
"As I try to recall, which gives me a headache, my alarm clock goes off with a loud ring, and, right on schedule, my sister barges into my room with a-"
Sister: "Kyon-kun~, it’s time to get up!"
Kyon: "Gyaaaa!"
"I throw off the covers suddenly, while yelling, to try and scare her."
Sister: "Wow, Kyon-kun’s up already!"
"She seems more impressed than frightened. Damn it."
[Scene: Dining Room]
"Despite my rude awakenings and energetic sister, breakfast at my house is usually a calm affair. I can only imagine the horror if I lived with someone like Haruhi."
"…Strange. That brings to mind something that I think I should have forgotten. A girl with brown hair, who—"
"I was so deep in thought that I didn’t notice my mother trying to get my attention. Apologizing, I half-listen as she tells me a strange story about a carton of eggs."
"According to her, yesterday afternoon, she put a carton of eggs back into the fridge after using all but one of them. This morning, when she opened up the fridge again, the carton was completely full."
"Odd, but not something I really think I should be concerned about. Maybe my mother bought a new carton of eggs and forgot that she did so? I ask her this."
"My mother is adamant that the full carton appeared out of nowhere. If a certain someone was around, I’m sure she’d already be in my fridge looking for ‘mysterious events’. Maybe I should tell her about—no, god no, I don’t want that terror rooting through my house."
"Anyway, I’m sure my mother just misremembered. Nothing amazing here. Also, it’s just about time for me to go to school. Thanks for the food, mother."
"As I get on my bike and head towards North High, living my carefree days, I had no idea that the innocent carton of eggs would soon be at the center of a world-ending catastrophe."
"…No, no, that kind of development isn’t going to happen. Sometimes, like Freud would say, a carton of eggs is just a carton of eggs."
"...although I don't think that's quite the right context."
For "Totally Unreasonable", Universe 1, September 2nd
Totally Unreasonable
IF DebtSlave = False THEN
"After a few hours of the usual boring classes, it's now become lunchtime. Finally."
Haruhi: "Kyon, go remake our website."
"I stretch and yawn, releasing the tension one builds up from sitting down for too long, and reach into my bag for my lunch."
Haruhi: "Hey, don’t ignore me, moron! Go - remake - our website!"
Kyon: "...Why!?"
"...I think I just failed at ignoring her."
"Besides, since when is it ‘our’ website? The entire thing was your idea in the first place!"
Haruhi: "The reason it’s not getting any hits is because it doesn’t look interesting enough! So you’re going to make it as unique as possible!"
"Sigh…
"...yes, Haruhi-sama. I live but to serve my Brigade Chief."
"Can I at least eat my lunch first?"
"‘Eat your lunch while you work!’ is her response. Suddenly, I’m reminded of Taniguchi and Kunikida’s performance this morning."
"Do I look like that to outsiders? I hope not."
[Scene: Clubroom]
"As usual, Nagato is reading some hardback novel. Greeting her as I enter the room, I sit in the Chief’s chair and fire up the computer."
"It took me a while to remember how to use the proper software, but before long I had the page up, ready for editing."
"This really takes me back. The first time I worked on our website was long ago, back when we were just starting out as a Brigade. Koizumi hadn’t even joined then."
"Speak of the devil…"
Itsuki: "Oh, hello."
Kyon: "It’s rare to see you here at this hour. What’s up?"
Itsuki: "Nothing in particular. Might it be acceptable for me to join you for lunch here?"
Kyon: "Go right ahead. But don’t you normally eat with Haruhi in the cafeteria?"
Itsuki: "Whatever gave you that idea?"
"…He’s acting suspicious, but whatever. He always acts suspicious."
"Now, as for the website…"
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) “'Nagato, do you have any ideas?'”
2) “'Koizumi, do you have any ideas?'”
3) "Do I have any ideas?"
I fail to see the joke here.
...It was not a joke. Kaisos said he needed a fluff writer and khu offered himself and showed an exemple to prove he can do the job. It don't matter if is genderbend of not, heck, it wouldn't even matter if it was Haruhi or not (tough obviously it is better if it is), it was just the proof he could write fluff.
I'm giving the scripts a once-over still. Here's a change I would recommend for the "Why, Naze?" segment in Universe 1 on September 2nd, changes in bold.
There’s a million things I’d rather be doing right now than hurrying to school, heavy bag slung over one shoulder and bright, burning sunlight beaming down upon me, but unfortunately I am a student who must attend a school. This school, actually. At the top of the very tall hill?
I curse the day I decided to attend this school, at the top of the incredibly tall hill that takes forever to climb, and I curse the thousand and one small delays that means I’m later than I normally am, and I curse the summer – well, autumn – sun above me. I’m in a cursing kind of mood, I suppose.
That stuff that happened last night – what was up with that? Overtiredness, like I originally thought? Or is it more weirdness sourced from the Queen of Oddity herself, Suzumiya Haruhi? I’ll have to ask one of the Brigade members, if I get the chance.
I wipe my brow with one hand as I survey the path laid out before me. I thought I was used to it, by now, but I guess my long, long, long summer break erased any sense of familiarity from my mind. And besides, it’s still unnaturally hot. Stupid heat.
As I crest the top of one of the smaller hills as I trek up the concrete path, I notice a slender figure standing by a lightpost, staring up at the sky.
Kyon: ...Koizumi?
He turns, his face taking on that familiar, suspicious-looking expression, but not quite quickly enough. I catch a brief glimpse of a completely foreign expression on his face before he manages to bring forth that fox-smile of his.
Itsuki: Ah, good morning.
Kyon: What are you doing out here on your lonesome, so early on this incredibly hot day?
Itsuki: It’s not early. In fact, you’re late.
Kyon: I’m late? Then aren’t you late? And what were you doing out here?
Itsuki: Ah, but you see, I am but a poor, mysterious transfer student. Who knows my strange, foreign ways? Perhaps for me, ‘late’ is actually ‘on time’.
Kyon: ...That makes no sense whatsoever and you’re avoiding the question.
Itsuki: So I am, so I am.
Arrgh! It’s too early in the morning to have to deal with this guy!
Itsuki: In any case, the fact remains that you are as late as I am. Or am not, as the case may be.
Kyon: Why can’t you ever say anything simply?
Koizumi smiles. Or at least, the corners of his mouth turn upwards, and he shows his teeth.
Itsuki: Because, my friend, that would be too easy.
Kyon: ...
I was going to ask this joker about the events of last night, but I decide against it. I don’t think I want my head to split open this early in the morning. Besides, perhaps Yuki might know something more helpful, and I won’t have to wade through this torrent of wordplay to get to it.
Kyon: Come on. Let’s just get to class.
Itsuki: What, giving up so soon? I’d expect you to be more inquisitive about my reasons for standing out here in the baking hot sunlight.
Kyon: Whatever they are, they’re your reasons. Besides, asking you would mean having to listen to more of your babbling.
Itsuki: Ah, I see. However, do you I wonder if it is fair to call it babbling? Is my speech not coherent?
Kyon: Put it this way: one day, your mouth will utter a certain combination of words that, in conjunction with the actual contents of what your phrasing will contain, will cause my poor overworked head to explode.
Itsuki: I'm afraid that would be impossible, unless you are suggesting I have somehow acquired Nagato-san's powers?
Kyon: ...You talk too much.
---
Here's another one, for the "Normality" segment in Universe 1, September 2nd, particularly the "Abnormality" branch.
Abnormality
"Maybe I'll indulge her whims for once."
"Hey, I can introduce my theory to the suspect herself!"
Kyon: "You ever find that the clock on your cellphone is running faster than every other clock?"
Haruhi: "Not really. Why? Is yours?"
"An instant response!"
Kyon: "No, mine would the opposite. For some reason, whenever I'm supposed to meet up with you, I'm inevitably late, and I was just wondering..."
Haruhi: "You sure it's not because you're incredibly lazy?"
Kyon: "No, I'm sure it's uh, mysterious events at work. Yeah."
Haruhi: "…"
"In a single, swift motion, she grabs my watch arm and pulls her cellphone out of her skirt pocket."
Haruhi: "...They're the exact same time. Nope, nothing mysterious there."
Kyon: "Oh. That's too bad."
"...Hey, wait a minute. Don't you find something incredibly wrong with the conversation we just had!?"
"Weren't the roles reversed just a little? And isn't having the exact same time on two different clocks mysterious in and of itself?"
"In fact, wouldn't that confirm my theory!?"
Kyon: "Maybe the universe, uh, twisted itself in that moment to make--"
Haruhi: "Stop trying, Kyon. Your weak effort is duly noted, but mysteriously wrong clocks are small-time in the realm of the mysterious, especially when they're not mysteriously wrong."
"I didn't know there was a Realm of the Mysterious... wait, no, please don't let it be real, please."
Haruhi: "Plus, you don't always show up after me every time. There was that one..."
"She stops suddenly, and gets an odd look on her face. (I actually can't describe it in words.)"
Haruhi: "...Nevermind. Anyway, since you're starting to put more effort into your job as an SOS Brigade member-"
"Job!?"
Haruhi: "-That I've decided to promote you one rank from “Lowest Ranked Member” to “Second Lowest Ranked Member”!"
Kyon: "Really?"
"Crap, I think that sounded too excited. I really don't care, believe me."
Haruhi: "In fact, everyone's been doing such a good job lately that I've decided to promote you all one rank!"
"That's... wait. That means... I'd still be at the bottom."
"Dammit! She's laughing, watching me figure it out! Damn you!"
"I'll get even one day!"
"Sigh..."
"Even though it's aggravating for me, watching her enjoy herself like this is much better than watching her suffer in melancholy."
"It'd be good if she could be like this all the time, for nothing to bother her. If nothing bothered her, then all of the mysterious events would slowly go away, and we could all live normal lives again."
"And not have to go through an endless, repeating summer, ever again..."
"Haruhi doesn't know what it's like to be us, to have to deal with all the problems she creates."
"And if that keeps her laughing like she is now, that's probably..."
Haruhi: "Haha... lighten up, Kyon! Life's an adventure! That's one of the creeds of the SOS Brigade! Besides, if you want to move up, you need to make up for your laziness last semester."
"...for the best."
IF DebtSlave = True THEN
"Later, in English class, I felt the distinct pain of a mechanical pencil being pushed into the space in between my shoulder blades."
Kyon: "Sigh... what is it?"
Haruhi: "Hey, don't forget that you're buying me lunch today."
"My suffering never ends!"
For "Guillotine", September 2nd...
Guillotine
"On a normal school day like today, there's only one thing I hear from Haruhi when the last bell rings."
Haruhi: "Go straight to the clubroom, or heads will roll!"
"Or something along those lines, anyway. And then, zoom! She's off. Could somebody please post a speed limit in the hallways?"
"Today she mentioned something about a “special brigade meeting” before dashing off. I would be going anyway, but that kind of declaration doesn't exactly put me in the mood for it."
"Of course, I don't exactly have to run there, either..."
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) Go straight there.
2) Walk around a bit first.
The Slave of Suzumiya
"I don't want to see Haruhi's angry eyes, so I'll head straight to the clubroom. I could run, but that would put me at the risk of looking like an idiot. Like a certain someone I know."
"Besides, who knows? This “special brigade meeting” could actually be kind of fun."
"...No, no it won't be, and I should be shot for even considering the possibility. "
"Sigh... such is my everyday life. Is there anyone else who could claim to have an everyday life like this and not have died from exhaustion and/or homicidal alien schoolgirls?"
"I must be a medical miracle."
No Promotion for You
"...Yeah, I'm just going to take my time."
"Although showing initiative would impress the leader of any normal brigade, I have doubts that any initiative on my part would impress the this one. Besides, do I really want to impress her?"
"No, don't answer that."
"Guess I'll just walk around the hallways for a bit..."
"This risks a piercing glare from Haruhi Suzumiya, but at least I can still count myself as an independent being."
"I'm independent, right?"
For "I Will Have My Revenge, Too", September 2nd...
I Will Have My Revenge Too
"Before I was forcibly inducted into the SOS Brigade, I never quite appreciated how enjoyable it is to just walk around at your own pace."
"Of course, walking around the halls of this school, for some reason, carries with it its own risks."
Boy: "The time... has come."
In one of the hallways that connects to the Old Shack, I ran into a student gazing out over the courtyard below, muttering ominously to himself.
Boy: "Soon... very soon, I shall once again be the master of that computer! Soon, soon..."
"He seems familiar."
"...Ah, right, this is the president of the Computer Research Society. I've known him, or perhaps that's known of him, almost as long as I've been in the SOS Brigade. We don't really talk much, though, thanks to certain events entirely of Haruhi's making."
CSP: "Yes, Soon, yes, that stupid bitch and her cronies will get what's coming to them... yes, yes, ahahahahaha!"
"The reason for that should be obvious, and I'd tell you if I weren't still mortally embarrassed by it, but... simply put, it involved: his hand, Mikuru's chest, and a camera. Oh, and their prized computer."
"By the way, he used to be more normal than this. He's a stunning example of why you don't get involved with Haruhi."
CSP: "With what is written on this piece of paper I hold in my hand right at this very moment, I, the Computer Society President, shall unhinge that horrid club from its... horrid... clubroom."
Kyon: "You know, in my experience, Haruhi shows up whenever someone says bad things about the SOS Brigade."
CSP: "Gah!!!! Yoooooouuuuuuuu!"
"He instantly crumples the piece of paper he was holding and throws it out the window, then looks around innocently."
"Uh. No, he was never like this at all."
Kyon: "...Did something bad happen recently?"
CSP: "Yes. Why do you ask? I'll tell you about it if you want to listen."
Kyon: "Uh, no thanks. In fact, I'm kind of busy, later."
CSP: "That's fine, fine. I, too, am busy. Um, later, that is. ...I'm also busy now."
"Busy with a psychiatric appointment, I hope."
CSP: "I, um, have to go get my piece of paper."
"Or not."
"When I finally got to the clubroom, Haruhi was there waiting for me."
Haruhi: "Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyouuuuuuuuuuuu'reeeeeeee late!"
"That's the second time I've heard that today from you. Nice job with that extended 'you're', by the way. Makes me feel appreciated."
Haruhi: "Whatever, here, look at this. It hit me on the head as I was walking through the courtyard."
"...It's a crumpled piece of paper that reads, in feverish writing, 'IMPORTANT! EXPOSE ILLEGAL CLUBROOM OCCUPATION TO AUTHORITIES! FOR GLORY!'"
Haruhi: "Any idea what this means?"
Kyon: "...Nope, none at all."
"Normal days don't last very long when you're a member of the SOS Brigade."
For the "Paradox, Redux" segment, September 2nd, Universe A...
Paradox, Redux
"I managed to get Asahina-senpai home by convincing him to wear that frog suit Haruki made us all work entirely too hard for."
"It was embarrassing for him, but compared to walking home dressed as a French Maid? It's... an improvement."
"Considering what happened this morning, I had been rather nervous about going back home, but my father seemed to have forgotten. Instead, he mentioned how great it was that I was taking more of an interest in healthy eating, but eating all the eggs is going a bit far, and that they don't help with breast growth either, if I was wondering."
"Sigh... yes, father, I'll go buy more eggs, even though I wasn't the one who ate them, since I haven't been home all day. Why am I always blamed for food going missing? Isn't it more appropriate to blame the younger, irresponsible sibling? And why this focus on breast growth?"
"And that's why I'm heading to the supermarket at night, to buy eggs so we can actually have breakfast tomorrow."
"...I'm going to kill my little brother."
"I've always been a little scared of the dark. I guess it's one of those primal fears all humans have."
"And like most humans, I'm also scared of what's in the dark. So of course, I screamed when something big and hunched over stumbled out of the bushes."
Man: "Uggh..."
"It's someone with long brown hair, wearing semiformal dress clothing, and clutching his chest in pain."
Kyonko: "Asahina... san...?"
Big Mitsuuru: "A-Ah, K-Kyon-chan, you r-remember me. Hrggggh... good. I made it to the right, urgh, time..."
"Like I said, Asahina-senapi is a time traveller, and this is him. From the future. To differentiate, I think of him as 'Asahina-san (that's Future him...) and 'Asahina-senpai (the 'present' him)'. If he weren't hunched over in extreme pain right now, he'd be his normal incredibly attractive self."
Kyonko: "A-are you okay, Asahina-san?!"
Big Mitsuuru: "Listen to me- grgggh... v-very carefully, Kyon-chan. What exactly happened today? Anything out of the ordinary?"
"…"
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1)“What do you mean, what happened to me? What happened to you?!”
2)“Nothing happened that I can think, of, no...”
For "Carton of Eggs", Universe 1, September 3rd.
Carton of Eggs
"…"
"It’s early morning. It’s rare that I ever wake up this early on my own."
"But for the past few nights, I’ve been having strange dreams about... well, a pool of water in the sky. That ripples, as though water was falling into it from somewhere."
"Or was the pool of water the sky itself?"
"I know it doesn't really make any sense, but that's dreams for you."
"It’s said that most of the dreams people have they never remember in the morning. I suppose that’s why I-"
"Forget everything you’ve ever known"
"-can never remember the details."
"Still, I think there was something important…"
"As I try to recall, which gives me a headache, my alarm clock goes off with a loud ring, and, right on schedule, my sister barges into my room with a-"
Sister: "Kyon-kun~, it’s time to get up!"
Kyon: "Gyaaaa!"
"I throw off the covers suddenly, while yelling, to try and scare her."
Sister: "Wow, Kyon-kun’s up already!"
"She seems more impressed than frightened. Damn it."
[Scene: Dining Room]
"Despite my rude awakenings and energetic sister, breakfast at my house is usually a calm affair. I can only imagine the horror if I lived with someone like Haruhi."
"…Strange. That brings to mind something that I think I should have forgotten. A girl with brown hair, who—"
"I was so deep in thought that I didn’t notice my mother trying to get my attention. Apologizing, I half-listen as she tells me a strange story about a carton of eggs."
"According to her, yesterday afternoon, she put a carton of eggs back into the fridge after using all but one of them. This morning, when she opened up the fridge again, the carton was completely full."
"Odd, but not something I really think I should be concerned about. Maybe my mother bought a new carton of eggs and forgot that she did so? I ask her this."
"My mother is adamant that the full carton appeared out of nowhere. If a certain someone was around, I’m sure she’d already be in my fridge looking for ‘mysterious events’. Maybe I should tell her about—no, god no, I don’t want that terror rooting through my house."
"Anyway, I’m sure my mother just misremembered. Nothing amazing here. Also, it’s just about time for me to go to school. Thanks for the food, mother."
"As I get on my bike and head towards North High, living my carefree days, I had no idea that the innocent carton of eggs would soon be at the center of a world-ending catastrophe."
"…No, no, that kind of development isn’t going to happen. Sometimes, like Freud would say, a carton of eggs is just a carton of eggs."
"...although I don't think that's quite the right context."
For "Totally Unreasonable", Universe 1, September 2nd
Totally Unreasonable
IF DebtSlave = False THEN
"After a few hours of the usual boring classes, it's now become lunchtime. Finally."
Haruhi: "Kyon, go remake our website."
"I stretch and yawn, releasing the tension one builds up from sitting down for too long, and reach into my bag for my lunch."
Haruhi: "Hey, don’t ignore me, moron! Go - remake - our website!"
Kyon: "...Why!?"
"...I think I just failed at ignoring her."
"Besides, since when is it ‘our’ website? The entire thing was your idea in the first place!"
Haruhi: "The reason it’s not getting any hits is because it doesn’t look interesting enough! So you’re going to make it as unique as possible!"
"Sigh…
"...yes, Haruhi-sama. I live but to serve my Brigade Chief."
"Can I at least eat my lunch first?"
"‘Eat your lunch while you work!’ is her response. Suddenly, I’m reminded of Taniguchi and Kunikida’s performance this morning."
"Do I look like that to outsiders? I hope not."
[Scene: Clubroom]
"As usual, Nagato is reading some hardback novel. Greeting her as I enter the room, I sit in the Chief’s chair and fire up the computer."
"It took me a while to remember how to use the proper software, but before long I had the page up, ready for editing."
"This really takes me back. The first time I worked on our website was long ago, back when we were just starting out as a Brigade. Koizumi hadn’t even joined then."
"Speak of the devil…"
Itsuki: "Oh, hello."
Kyon: "It’s rare to see you here at this hour. What’s up?"
Itsuki: "Nothing in particular. Might it be acceptable for me to join you for lunch here?"
Kyon: "Go right ahead. But don’t you normally eat with Haruhi in the cafeteria?"
Itsuki: "Whatever gave you that idea?"
"…He’s acting suspicious, but whatever. He always acts suspicious."
"Now, as for the website…"
[DECISION POINT HERE]
1) “'Nagato, do you have any ideas?'”
2) “'Koizumi, do you have any ideas?'”
3) "Do I have any ideas?"
Wow! That was random!
It is a trouble to went of to the old scenes just to see what you changed, but curiosity beated me, so I will make some comments:
Why, Naze?: I think you made Itsukki a bit too mouthfull in here, however, it fit so well with Kyon last line that I tought it was good.
Abnormality: I like the first change, but I haven't understood the "why" for the last ones.
Guillotine; I Will Have My Revenge, Too; Paradox, Redux: Just small corrections here right? No real opinion so.
Carton of Eggs: Oh, I guess that line make sense now. :heh:
Totally Unreasonable: Again, Itsuki too mouthfull. Is he really like that in the novel? I like these lines, tough.
Anyway, good to see new people enoying it. Specially produtive new people. (which remember me I need to produte more...)
Roger Rambo
2009-12-18, 21:57
...It was not a joke. Kaisos said he needed a fluff writer and khu offered himself and showed an exemple to prove he can do the job. It don't matter if is genderbend of not, heck, it wouldn't even matter if it was Haruhi or not (tough obviously it is better if it is), it was just the proof he could write fluff.
Ah, understood.
My apologies.
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-18, 22:03
FINALLY, something new! It sucks though.
Just Like Old Times
We decided to walk down to the riverbank.
In spring, there are normally a lot of couples around, but at this time of year, there's only an old man sitting a bench, watching the blossom-less cherry trees.
The only couple walking along the riverbank is me and Asahina-san, a fact which I am very proud of.
Mikuru: Hmm hmm hmm...
Asahina-san, humming tunelessly, practically bounces down the walkway while carrying that stuffed lion like it's her own child. I know I say this a lot, but... cute!!
Kyon: So, have you decided on a name for it yet?
She seems like the type to name her stuffed animals, even at her age.
Mikuru: Eh...? Hmm, name... name...
I knew it.
She's taking it very seriously. Her face scrunches up in deep thought, which somehow makes it even more cute... it makes me want to poke her in the cheek.
...! No! I must refuse! I must not defile the purity that is Asahina-san!
I'm in enough danger as it is, what with us walking together like lovebirds. Every person in North High with a Y chromosome will be after my head if the wrong assumptions are made.
Mikuru: I guess... I'll call him 'Mu-chan'!
Kyon: ...Where did you get a name like that?
Mikuru: I wonder...
Kyon: ...
Mikuru: ...
Kyon: ...
That aside, this tea set is very heavy... exactly why did you decide to buy this again?
Mikuru: Well, I just thought it would brighten up the atmosphere in the clubroom...
Kyon: ...Aren't these a bit... ornate... to be drinking tea out of?
These are the sort of things you'd display in a cabinet and never actually use.
Mikuru: I think that's kind of a waste, don't you?
Kyon: Well, some people only like to look at nice things, right? Think about all the stuff Haruhi's brought into the clubroom and never used.
Mikuru: Ah, I remember that! I was so shocked when I went that day and saw that mini-freezer...
...Where did she get that, anyway?
Kyon: Those were the days, huh?
Mikuru: Uu, not really... Suzumiya-san was a lot more... aggressive... then...
She's not now?
I decided to tease Asahina-san a little.
Kyon: Hey, remember the time when you nearly got ruined for marriage?
Mikuru: E-Eh? W-Why are you bringing that up?
Kyon: ...I was just remembering how touched I was when you asked me to take you.
Asahina-san turns as red as a ripe strawberry and looks away in sheer embarassment. Maybe that was a bit too far...
Kyon: ...Joking aside, I'm sorry for doing such a terrible job of protecting you back then...
Mikuru: Hmm? No, it's fine...
She flashes me one of her beautiful smiles, as radiant as... as... actually, there are no words to describe how beautiful that smile was.
Mikuru: You saved the whole world, didn't you? I think that's more than enough...
...
...
Kyon: ...Nonetheless, I promise to do better in future. If there's ever anything wrong, if you're ever in trouble, whatever it is, I will protect you.
Mikuru: ...Thanks... Thanks a lot, Kyon-kun.
Asahina-san suddenly stopped short. ...She was staring at a nearby park bench... a bench I recognized.
Mikuru: ...Actually, Kyon-kun... I do have something I've been wanting to tell you.
Kyon: ...Ah.
Just like old times, eh?
---
However, her "something to tell me" made absolutely no sense.
Kyon: Wait, wait, hold on, say that again?
Mikuru: When I used classified information to classified information to classified information, the classified information was classified information, but I kind of felt that the classified information was too classified information to be classified information... I got scared that we're still classified information in the classified information... should I classified information...?
It's a new record!
Kyon: Okay, now could you say that sentence again, but this time make it less... classified?
Mikuru: Uu... I'm sorry, Kyon-kun... it's all classified...
Then how do you expect me to help you at all!?
Kyon: Well, is the universe in immediate danger of being destroyed?
Mikuru: Well, no... not really...
I reach out my hand to rub her head, surprised at my own boldness. Asahina-san blushes at my touch.
Kyon: Then don't worry about it. We've dealt with worse stuff before.
I'm sure it's nothing. ...It's nothing, right?
Mikuru: Kyaa!
Asahina-san suddenly jumps about half a foot.
Kyon: A-Asahina-san, what's wrong?
Did I do something untoward... no, wait, I see what she's looking at.
She trembles, having seen a horrible apparition off in the distance.
An apparition named Haruhi...!
Kyon: ...Maybe she hasn't seen us yet...
Mikuru: Y-y-y-you think so?
Kyon: We need to hide. Now.
Ignoring her cries, I grab Asahina-san's hand and drag her into a nearby bush.
...This proves to be a bad idea, as, with the sweet smell of her hair filling my nasal passages, I become unable to concentrate.
Mikuru: Kyon-kun... she's coming closer... what should we do?
...Hmm... should we try to stay hidden? Or run?
If she's already seen us, there's no point in just staying here... but if she hasn't, and we can remain in hiding, I won't have to deal with a huge headache on Monday.
Urgh, this is a difficult decision.
I risk a peek. The first thing I notice, even from this distance away, is Haruhi's distinctly angry face. The second thing I notice is that heavy package of teacups sitting next to the bench that, in my haste, I forgot to drag into the bushes with me.
...It appears that I have already had my decision made for me.
We should probably be running right about now.
---
Kyon: Pant... pant...
It's a miracle.
-
Mikuru: How did... how did we get away...?
Kyon: ...Maybe she lost interest?
Little chance of that. I must remember to buy headache pills in preparation for the dreaded Monday.
We've been running for the past ten minutes. I get the feeling I've been doing a lot of running recently.
We had managed to loop our way around the riverbank. Haruhi must have lost our trail somewhere along the way, and Asahina-san and I are now bent over a bridge, trying to stop ourselves from dying of hyperventilation.
I can't believe I was able to carry that heavy tea set and pull Asahina-san along at the same time... I'm going to be sick.
Still, we can't just loiter here.
Kyon: Got everything, Asahina-san?
Mikuru: Um, yes, I think I-- Ah!
...Her lion... she isn't holding her lion!
Mikuru: M-Mu-chan! Uwaaaa, I-I must have left him on the bench...
Kyon: ...
Crap... It's not like we can backtrack to go get it, what with Haruhi on the prowl.
I straighten up... and then I see it.
The stuffed lion is floating down the river towards us, less than ten yard away.
Kyon: ...That was convenient.
Mikuru: Kyon-kun, we've got to rescue him!
It's only a stuffed animal, Asahina-san... I think the term is “retrieve”...
(As an aside, it is very cute how she's managed to anthropomorphize it that quickly, though.)
Mikuru: Um, something long, something long...
Kyon: ...Hold on...
Mikuru: Hmm?
How did the lion even get in the river? It can't have just fallen in; the bench is ten feet from the river. Someone must have thrown it in.
...I can't shake the feeling that this is a trap of Haruhi's somehow. While we're fishing it out, she'll probably sneak up from behind and ambush us, drag us to the clubroom, and inflict horrible punishment games upon both Asahina-san and myself.
So in the interests of preserving what little is left of Asahina-san's dignity... well, I'll have to move fast, by the looks of it.
---
IF Mikuru >= 16, THEN
I hear a ringing in my ears that sounds suspiciously like music.
I ignore it, instead stepping up onto the railing.
Mikuru: ...Kyon-kun...?
Kyon: Wait here, Asahina-san! If you see Haruhi, don't hesitate to book it.
Mikuru: Ah! Wait, what are you--
Kyon: Haaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I dive forward, into the river... managing to land both in the water... and right on top of the lion!
I hear a couple of screams from the shore before I'm submerged completely, my ears filling up with the dirty riverwater.
Still submerged, I flip over, and, kicking hard, swim back towards the bridge. I reach up, grab the bottom rail with one hand, and with a few kicks and a lot of effort, manage to pull myself up and back onto the bridge.
...This took less than ten seconds of time.
...Wait. Isn't that completely insane!? What kind of...
Mikuru: Um, um... what just happened?
Kyon: I have no idea. Here, take Mu-chan and let's keep running!
Mikuru: But, but... you're all wet... won't that--
Kyon: My clothes will dry as we run! Come on!
I'll have to sort out what the hell I just did later. We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
---
ELSE
...Hmm, actually, at the rate it's drifting... it should be under the bridge in about a minute and a half. I could probably just reach down and grab it and not waste too much time.
Kyon: Keep watch for me, would you, Asahina-san?
She nods.
I drop flat to the ground, and reach down over the side of the bridge. It's almost there...
Almost there... got it!
Unfortunately, as I straighten up, my headphones, subject to the forces of gravity like everything else, fall off my neck and with a 'splish' noise land in the water. One thing after another...
...Thank god for headphones with cords, though. Although they may be archaic in five years, I don't think I'll be buying a wireless pair if things like this are going to keep happening.
I hand Asahina-san her stuffed lion.
Mikuru: Thanks for rescuing Mu-chan, Kyon-kun!
Kyon: No trouble. Now come on, let's get moving!
We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
---
Kyon: ...gasp...
We somehow made it all the way back to the station... and I think we've finally lost her. Also, I'm going to have a heart attack...
Asahina-san looks how I feel. She holds Mu-ch-- er, the lion tight to her chest... it's making her blouse all wet.
...
Ahem, er, where was I?
Kyon: Sorry about getting it even wetter...
Mikuru: No, don't apologize! You got Mu-chan back for me! That's enough...
Of course! I'd do anything for you, Asahina-san. And all without reward.
All I need is your smile.
Mikuru: Also, um... I heard that electronic stuff stops working if it falls in water, right...? Are those alright...?
I hold up the headphones, which I'd somehow been holding onto while carrying that one-ton tea set.
Kyon: Oh, these?
Frankly, I hope the headphones are damaged. I never want to fall into a coma again.
Besides ...her blouse is really turning see-through, huh...?
I feel something vibrating in my left hand, and suddenly I hear a song blare at maximum volume.
You're so beautiful it makes me horny! It’s so hard it makes me dizzy!
At least show me! Show me! Show me your deep cleavage! Baby!
Mikuru: ...Eh...? Kyon-kun...? You... listen to that kind of thing?
Kyon: What? No, no! Asahina-san, listen, these aren't even
*KSSSH*
Kyon: Mine.
Mikuru: Heh. Don't try to hide it, Kyon-kun. I know what you're thinking. I know how dirty you are.
Asahina-san gives me a wicked grin.
Wait.
What?!
Suddenly, she's right in my face, assailing all my senses at once.
Mikuru: I know what you like, Kyon-kun~. I know what makes you... tick.
She places her hand on my chest and with a strength I'd never have expected, shoves me backwards onto the bench.
Kyon: H-hey, what are you--
She straddles me, and her grin grows wider. Too wide.
Kyon: Wh--!!! A-A-Asahina-san, we're in public! What on earth are you...
Mikuru: Public? Don't make me laugh.
Asahina-san made an awesomeface. Odd. I didn't know people could actually do that.
I feel water dripping on my face. Asahina-san's hair is wet... in fact, she's totally soaked. ...What in the hell is going on?
Mikuru: You and I are the only people around for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.
I feel something distinctly hotter drip onto my cheek.
Asahina-san's face is bleeding. No, not bleeding.
Her face is melting.
.......This has got to be a bad dream. It's a dream right? It's definitely a dream.
Mikuru: Just hold still... though I can't guarantee that it'll be over quick. In fact, I think it'll take a very, very long time... by the way...
Help me, please, someone, this can't be reality, this can't be real.
This might be the worst nightmare I've ever had.
Her face melts off completely.
Mitsuuru: Surprise!
I only got INSPIRED near the ending. And no that last bit isn't actually happening.
I get the feeling my writing is sucking lately. Sorry, guys.
Iaevuous
2009-12-18, 22:48
[Editor's note: I've always hated the word 'koibito'. It's inevitably translated as 'lovers', and that's technically what it means, but the word 'lovers' in English has the connotation of the couple in question being in a sexual relationship. I'd use something like 'sweethearts', but that's a term that no one even uses anymore. 'Lovers' somehow seems to be the only thing that fits... but if anyone can suggest a better word, please do.]
I don't think that I've actually never heard anyone say the word "lover" in real life. I can't think of too many things to replace it, though.
"walking together like a couple."
"walking together like innamorati."
"walking together like we're dating."
I'm not too good with the things you call words.
FINALLY, something new! It sucks though.
Just Like Old Times
We decided to walk down to the riverbank.
In spring, there are normally a lot of couples around, but at this time of year, there's only an old man sitting a bench, watching the blossom-less cherry trees.
The only couple walking along the riverbank is me and Asahina-san, a fact which I am very proud of.
Mikuru: Hmm hmm hmm...
Asahina-san, humming tunelessly, practically bounces down the walkway while carrying that stuffed lion like it's her own child. I know I say this a lot, but... cute!!
Kyon: So, have you decided on a name for it yet?
She seems like the type to name her stuffed animals, even at her age.
Mikuru: Eh...? Hmm, name... name...
I knew it.
She's taking it very seriously. Her face scrunches up in deep thought, which somehow makes it even more cute... it makes me want to poke her in the cheek.
...! No! I must refuse! I must not defile the purity that is Asahina-san!
I'm in enough danger as it is, what with us walking together like lovers. Every person in North High with a Y chromosome will be after my head if the wrong assumptions are made.
[Editor's note: I've always hated the word 'koibito'. It's inevitably translated as 'lovers', and that's technically what it means, but the word 'lovers' in English has the connotation of the couple in question being in a sexual relationship. I'd use something like 'sweethearts', but that's a term that no one even uses anymore. 'Lovers' somehow seems to be the only thing that fits... but if anyone can suggest a better word, please do.]
Mikuru: I guess... I'll call him 'Mu-chan'!
Kyon: ...Where did you get a name like that?
Mikuru: I wonder...
Kyon: ...
Mikuru: ...
Kyon: ...
That aside, this tea set is very heavy... exactly why did you decide to buy this again?
Mikuru: Well, I just thought it would brighten up the atmosphere in the clubroom...
Kyon: ...Aren't these a bit... ornate... to be drinking tea out of?
These are the sort of things you'd display in a cabinet and never actually use...
Mikuru: ...Mmm, I guess...
Come to think of it, wouldn't these be like antiques to Asahina-san? That's definitely not something you use every day, and definitely definitely not something you'd trust Haruhi to take care of... ...Although, I guess everything would be an antique to someone from... how many years in the future were you from again, Asahina-san?
Mikuru: ...
Asahina-san had suddenly gone quiet. ...She was staring at a nearby park bench... a bench I recognized.
Mikuru: ...Actually, Kyon-kun... I have something I've been wanting to tell you to tell you.
Kyon: ...
Just like old times, eh?
---
Kyon: Wait, wait, hold on, say that again?
Mikuru: When I used classified information to classified information to classified information, the classified information was classified information, but I kind of felt that the classified information was too classified information to be classified information... I got scared that we're still classified information in the classified information... should I classified information...?
It's a new record!
Kyon: Okay, now could you say that sentence again, but this time make it less... classified?
Mikuru: Uu... I'm sorry, Kyon-kun... it's all classified...
Then how do you expect me to help you at all!?
Kyon: Well, is the universe in immediate danger of being destroyed?
Mikuru: Well, no... not really...
I reach out my hand to rub her head, surprised at my own boldness. Asahina-san blushes at my touch.
Kyon: Then don't worry about it. We've dealt with worse stuff before.
I'm sure it's nothing. ...It's nothing, right?
Mikuru: Kyaa!
Asahina-san suddenly jumps about half a foot.
Kyon: A-Asahina-san, what's wrong?
Did I do something untoward... no, wait, I see what she's looking at.
She trembles, having seen a horrible apparition off in the distance.
An apparition named Haruhi...!
Kyon: ...Maybe she hasn't seen us yet...
Mikuru: Y-you think so?
No, no, wait, she's coming right for us. In fact, it may be just my imagination, but she looks... rather upset.
I think we should be running for it right about now.
---
Kyon: Pant... pant...
It's a miracle.
Mikuru: How did... how did we get away...?
Kyon: ...Maybe she lost interest?
Little chance of that.
We've been running for the past ten minutes... I get the feeling I've been doing a lot of running recently.
Managing to loop our way around the riverbank, Haruhi must have lost our trail somewhere along the way, and Asahina-san and I are now bent over a bridge, trying to stop ourselves from dying of hyperventilation.
I can't believe I was able to carry that heavy tea set and drag Asahina-san along at the same time... I'm going to be sick.
Still, we can't just loiter here.
Kyon: Got everything, Asahina-san?
Mikuru: Um, yes, I think I-- Ah!
...Her lion... she isn't holding her lion!
Mikuru: M-Mu-chan! Uwaaaa, where could he have gone...
Kyon: ...
Crap... It's not like we can backtrack to find it, what with Haruhi on the prowl.
I straighten up... and then I see it.
The stuffed lion is floating down the river towards us, less than ten yard away.
Kyon: ...That was convenient.
Mikuru: Kyon-kun, we've got to rescue him!
It's only a stuffed animal, Asahina-san... I think the term is “retrieve”...
(As an aside, it is very cute how she's managed to anthropomorphize it that quickly, though.)
Mikuru: Um, something long, something long...
Kyon: ...Hold on...
Mikuru: Hmm?
How did the lion even get in the river? Asahina-san and I never went close enough to the water's edge for her to drop it in, and I'm pretty sure she didn't throw her beloved new toy...
...I can't shake the feeling that this is a trap of Haruhi's somehow. While we're fishing it out, she'll probably sneak up from behind and ambush us, drag us to the clubroom, and inflict horrible punishment games upon both Asahina-san and myself.
So in the interests of preserving what little is left of Asahina-san's dignity... well, I'll have to move fast, by the looks of it.
---
IF Mikuru >= 16, THEN
I hear a ringing in my ears that sounds suspiciously like music.
I ignore it, instead stepping up onto the railing.
Mikuru: ...Kyon-kun...?
Kyon: Wait here, Asahina-san! If you see Haruhi, don't hesitate to book it.
Mikuru: Ah! Wait, what are you--
Kyon: Haaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I dive forward, into the river... managing to land both in the water... and right on top of the lion!
I hear a couple of screams from the shore before I'm submerged completely, my ears filling up with the dirty riverwater.
Still submerged, I flip over, and, kicking hard, swim back towards the bridge. I reach up, grab the bottom rail with one hand, and with a few kicks and a lot of effort, manage to pull myself up and back onto the bridge.
...This took less than a minute of time.
...Wait. Isn't that kind of inhuman!?
Mikuru: Um, um... what just happened?
Kyon: I have no idea. Here, take Mu-chan and let's keep running!
I'll sort out what the hell I just did later. We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
---
ELSE
...Hmm, actually, at the rate it's drifting... it should be under the bridge in about a minute and a half. I could probably just reach down and grab it and not waste too much time.
Kyon: Keep watch for me, would you, Asahina-san?
She nods.
I drop flat to the ground, and reach down over the side of the bridge. It's almost there...
Almost there... got it!
Unfortunately, as I straighten up, my headphones, subject to the forces of gravity like everything else, fall off my neck and with a 'splish' noise land in the water. One thing after another...
...Thank god for headphones with cords, though. Although they may be archaic in five years, I don't think I'll be buying a wireless pair if things like this are going to keep happening.
I hand Asahina-san her stuffed lion.
Mikuru: Thanks for rescuing Mu-chan, Kyon-kun!
Kyon: No trouble. Now come on, let's get moving!
We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
---
Kyon: ...gasp...
We somehow made it all the way back to the station... and I think we've finally lost her. Also, I'm going to have a heart attack...
Asahina-san looks how I feel. She holds Mu-ch-- er, the lion tight to her chest... it's making her blouse all wet.
...
Ahem, er, where was I?
Kyon: Sorry about getting it even wetter...
Mikuru: No, don't apologize! You got Mu-chan back for me! That's enough...
Of course! I'd do anything for you, Asahina-san. And all without reward.
All I need is your smile.
Mikuru: Also, um... I heard that electronic stuff stops working if it falls in water, right...? Are those alright...?
I hold up the headphones, which I'd somehow been holding onto while carrying that one-ton tea set.
Kyon: Oh, these?
Frankly, I hope the headphones are damaged. I never want to fall into a coma again.
Besides ...her blouse is really turning see-through, huh...?
I feel something vibrating in my left hand, and suddenly I hear a song blare at maximum volume.
[placeholder for that pervy NEWS song Danchou keeps pestering me with and I can't find right now.]
Mikuru: ...Eh...? Kyon-kun...? You listen to that kind of thing?
Kyon: What? No, no! Asahina-san, listen, these aren't even
*KSSSH*
Kyon: Mine.
Mikuru: Heh. Don't try to hide it, Kyon-kun. I know what you're thinking. I know how dirty you are.
Asahina-san gives me a wicked grin.
Wait.
What?!
Suddenly, she's right in my face, assailing all my senses at once.
Mikuru: I know what you like, Kyon-kun~. I know what makes you... tick.
She places her hand on my chest and with a strength I'd never have expected, shoves me backwards onto the bench.
Kyon: H-hey, what are you--
She straddles me, and her grin grows wider. Too wide.
Kyon: Wh--!!! A-A-Asahina-san, we're in public! What on earth are you...
Mikuru: Public? Don't make me laugh.
Asahina-san made an awesomeface. Odd. I didn't know people could actually do that.
I feel water dripping on my face. Asahina-san's hair is wet... in fact, she's totally soaked. ...What in the hell is going on?
Mikuru: You and I are the only people around for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.
I feel something distinctly hotter drip onto my cheek.
Asahina-san's face is bleeding. No, not bleeding.
Her face is melting.
.......This has got to be a bad dream. It's a dream right? It's definitely a dream.
Mikuru: Just hold still... though I can't guarantee that it'll be over quick. In fact, I think it'll take a very, very long time... by the way...
Help me, please, someone, this can't be reality, this can't be real.
This might be the worst nightmare I've ever had.
Her face melts off completely.
Mitsuuru: Surprise!
I only got INSPIRED near the ending. And no that last bit isn't actually happening.
I get the feeling my writing is sucking lately. Sorry, guys.
It is not bad. Don't know why you think it sucks. However, I kinda understand why you want a fluff writer, tough. The first bit isn't really bad, but I felt something is lacking. Don't know. Maybe Kyon should gush about Mikuru a bit more?
There were two thing that really bugged me, tough. The first is the runing away part. It is a bit... irreal. I can't see Kyon or Mikuru runing away like that, specially know that Haruhi already saw then (and thus they won't get away latter in school). If the runing part is necessery, I think it is better keep ambiguous, at last for now, if Haruhi have seen then or not.
The second thing is that line:
...Wait. Isn't that kind of inhuman!?
Not a big deal, but wouldn't be better save it for latter? The wholle scene wasn't that inhuman anyway. Implausible for a guy like Kyon who don't get exercises, but not really impossible.
Well, I have to agree the end is awesome, however. What the Hell is happening now? I tought these headphones just showed flashbacks from the brigade members (specially Haruki), but now they are also causing weird illusions.
I am looking foryard the next scene. (it is a flashback/dream scene right?)
PP:
Funny how english don't have a word for "loving couple". However, is Iaevuous posted, just "couple" would work there woudn't it?
Also, Iaevous, "innamorati"? This exist? I can understand it meaning, but it sound latin, for some reason. (plural of "innamoratus"? :p)
Why, Naze?: I think you made Itsukki a bit too mouthfull in here, however, it fit so well with Kyon last line that I tought it was good.
The first line he edited actually wrecked the grammar.
snip
Koizumi is now more eloquent, more... Koizumi. Can't really say if that's right... :p
FINALLY, something new! It sucks though.
Just Like Old Times
We decided to walk down to the riverbank.
In spring, there are normally a lot of couples around, but at this time of year, there's only an old man sitting a bench, watching the blossom-less cherry trees.
The only couple walking along the riverbank is me and Asahina-san, a fact which I am very proud of.
Mikuru: Hmm hmm hmm...
Asahina-san, humming tunelessly, practically bounces down the walkway while carrying that stuffed lion like it's her own child. I know I say this a lot, but... cute!!
Kyon: So, have you decided on a name for it yet?
She seems like the type to name her stuffed animals, even at her age.
Mikuru: Eh...? Hmm, name... name...
I knew it.
She's taking it very seriously. Her face scrunches up in deep thought, which somehow makes it even more cute... it makes me want to poke her in the cheek.
...! No! I must refuse! I must not defile the purity that is Asahina-san!
I'm in enough danger as it is, what with us walking together like lovers. Every person in North High with a Y chromosome will be after my head if the wrong assumptions are made.
[Editor's note: I've always hated the word 'koibito'. It's inevitably translated as 'lovers', and that's technically what it means, but the word 'lovers' in English has the connotation of the couple in question being in a sexual relationship. I'd use something like 'sweethearts', but that's a term that no one even uses anymore. 'Lovers' somehow seems to be the only thing that fits... but if anyone can suggest a better word, please do.]
Mikuru: I guess... I'll call him 'Mu-chan'!
Kyon: ...Where did you get a name like that?
Mikuru: I wonder...
Kyon: ...
Mikuru: ...
Kyon: ...
That aside, this tea set is very heavy... exactly why did you decide to buy this again?
Mikuru: Well, I just thought it would brighten up the atmosphere in the clubroom...
Kyon: ...Aren't these a bit... ornate... to be drinking tea out of?
These are the sort of things you'd display in a cabinet and never actually use...
Mikuru: ...Mmm, I guess...
Come to think of it, wouldn't these be like antiques to Asahina-san? That's definitely not something you use every day, and definitely definitely not something you'd trust Haruhi to take care of... ...Although, I guess everything would be an antique to someone from... how many years in the future were you from again, Asahina-san?
Mikuru: ...
Asahina-san had suddenly gone quiet. ...She was staring at a nearby park bench... a bench I recognized.
Mikuru: ...Actually, Kyon-kun... I have something I've been wanting to tell you to tell you.
Kyon: ...
Just like old times, eh?
---
Kyon: Wait, wait, hold on, say that again?
Mikuru: When I used classified information to classified information to classified information, the classified information was classified information, but I kind of felt that the classified information was too classified information to be classified information... I got scared that we're still classified information in the classified information... should I classified information...?
It's a new record!
Kyon: Okay, now could you say that sentence again, but this time make it less... classified?
Mikuru: Uu... I'm sorry, Kyon-kun... it's all classified...
Then how do you expect me to help you at all!?
Kyon: Well, is the universe in immediate danger of being destroyed?
Mikuru: Well, no... not really...
I reach out my hand to rub her head, surprised at my own boldness. Asahina-san blushes at my touch.
Kyon: Then don't worry about it. We've dealt with worse stuff before.
I'm sure it's nothing. ...It's nothing, right?
Mikuru: Kyaa!
Asahina-san suddenly jumps about half a foot.
Kyon: A-Asahina-san, what's wrong?
Did I do something untoward... no, wait, I see what she's looking at.
She trembles, having seen a horrible apparition off in the distance.
An apparition named Haruhi...!
Kyon: ...Maybe she hasn't seen us yet...
Mikuru: Y-you think so?
No, no, wait, she's coming right for us. In fact, it may be just my imagination, but she looks... rather upset.
I think we should be running for it right about now.
---
Kyon: Pant... pant...
It's a miracle.
Mikuru: How did... how did we get away...?
Kyon: ...Maybe she lost interest?
Little chance of that.
We've been running for the past ten minutes... I get the feeling I've been doing a lot of running recently.
Managing to loop our way around the riverbank, Haruhi must have lost our trail somewhere along the way, and Asahina-san and I are now bent over a bridge, trying to stop ourselves from dying of hyperventilation.
I can't believe I was able to carry that heavy tea set and drag Asahina-san along at the same time... I'm going to be sick.
Still, we can't just loiter here.
Kyon: Got everything, Asahina-san?
Mikuru: Um, yes, I think I-- Ah!
...Her lion... she isn't holding her lion!
Mikuru: M-Mu-chan! Uwaaaa, where could he have gone...
Kyon: ...
Crap... It's not like we can backtrack to find it, what with Haruhi on the prowl.
I straighten up... and then I see it.
The stuffed lion is floating down the river towards us, less than ten yard away.
Kyon: ...That was convenient.
Mikuru: Kyon-kun, we've got to rescue him!
It's only a stuffed animal, Asahina-san... I think the term is “retrieve”...
(As an aside, it is very cute how she's managed to anthropomorphize it that quickly, though.)
Mikuru: Um, something long, something long...
Kyon: ...Hold on...
Mikuru: Hmm?
How did the lion even get in the river? Asahina-san and I never went close enough to the water's edge for her to drop it in, and I'm pretty sure she didn't throw her beloved new toy...
...I can't shake the feeling that this is a trap of Haruhi's somehow. While we're fishing it out, she'll probably sneak up from behind and ambush us, drag us to the clubroom, and inflict horrible punishment games upon both Asahina-san and myself.
So in the interests of preserving what little is left of Asahina-san's dignity... well, I'll have to move fast, by the looks of it.
---
IF Mikuru >= 16, THEN
I hear a ringing in my ears that sounds suspiciously like music.
I ignore it, instead stepping up onto the railing.
Mikuru: ...Kyon-kun...?
Kyon: Wait here, Asahina-san! If you see Haruhi, don't hesitate to book it.
Mikuru: Ah! Wait, what are you--
Kyon: Haaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I dive forward, into the river... managing to land both in the water... and right on top of the lion!
I hear a couple of screams from the shore before I'm submerged completely, my ears filling up with the dirty riverwater.
Still submerged, I flip over, and, kicking hard, swim back towards the bridge. I reach up, grab the bottom rail with one hand, and with a few kicks and a lot of effort, manage to pull myself up and back onto the bridge.
...This took less than a minute of time.
...Wait. Isn't that kind of inhuman!?
Mikuru: Um, um... what just happened?
Kyon: I have no idea. Here, take Mu-chan and let's keep running!
I'll sort out what the hell I just did later. We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
---
ELSE
...Hmm, actually, at the rate it's drifting... it should be under the bridge in about a minute and a half. I could probably just reach down and grab it and not waste too much time.
Kyon: Keep watch for me, would you, Asahina-san?
She nods.
I drop flat to the ground, and reach down over the side of the bridge. It's almost there...
Almost there... got it!
Unfortunately, as I straighten up, my headphones, subject to the forces of gravity like everything else, fall off my neck and with a 'splish' noise land in the water. One thing after another...
...Thank god for headphones with cords, though. Although they may be archaic in five years, I don't think I'll be buying a wireless pair if things like this are going to keep happening.
I hand Asahina-san her stuffed lion.
Mikuru: Thanks for rescuing Mu-chan, Kyon-kun!
Kyon: No trouble. Now come on, let's get moving!
We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
---
Kyon: ...gasp...
We somehow made it all the way back to the station... and I think we've finally lost her. Also, I'm going to have a heart attack...
Asahina-san looks how I feel. She holds Mu-ch-- er, the lion tight to her chest... it's making her blouse all wet.
...
Ahem, er, where was I?
Kyon: Sorry about getting it even wetter...
Mikuru: No, don't apologize! You got Mu-chan back for me! That's enough...
Of course! I'd do anything for you, Asahina-san. And all without reward.
All I need is your smile.
Mikuru: Also, um... I heard that electronic stuff stops working if it falls in water, right...? Are those alright...?
I hold up the headphones, which I'd somehow been holding onto while carrying that one-ton tea set.
Kyon: Oh, these?
Frankly, I hope the headphones are damaged. I never want to fall into a coma again.
Besides ...her blouse is really turning see-through, huh...?
I feel something vibrating in my left hand, and suddenly I hear a song blare at maximum volume.
[placeholder for that pervy NEWS song Danchou keeps pestering me with and I can't find right now.]
Mikuru: ...Eh...? Kyon-kun...? You listen to that kind of thing?
Kyon: What? No, no! Asahina-san, listen, these aren't even
*KSSSH*
Kyon: Mine.
Mikuru: Heh. Don't try to hide it, Kyon-kun. I know what you're thinking. I know how dirty you are.
Asahina-san gives me a wicked grin.
Wait.
What?!
Suddenly, she's right in my face, assailing all my senses at once.
Mikuru: I know what you like, Kyon-kun~. I know what makes you... tick.
She places her hand on my chest and with a strength I'd never have expected, shoves me backwards onto the bench.
Kyon: H-hey, what are you--
She straddles me, and her grin grows wider. Too wide.
Kyon: Wh--!!! A-A-Asahina-san, we're in public! What on earth are you...
Mikuru: Public? Don't make me laugh.
Asahina-san made an awesomeface. Odd. I didn't know people could actually do that.
I feel water dripping on my face. Asahina-san's hair is wet... in fact, she's totally soaked. ...What in the hell is going on?
Mikuru: You and I are the only people around for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.
I feel something distinctly hotter drip onto my cheek.
Asahina-san's face is bleeding. No, not bleeding.
Her face is melting.
.......This has got to be a bad dream. It's a dream right? It's definitely a dream.
Mikuru: Just hold still... though I can't guarantee that it'll be over quick. In fact, I think it'll take a very, very long time... by the way...
Help me, please, someone, this can't be reality, this can't be real.
This might be the worst nightmare I've ever had.
Her face melts off completely.
Mitsuuru: Surprise!
I only got INSPIRED near the ending. And no that last bit isn't actually happening.
I get the feeling my writing is sucking lately. Sorry, guys.
The ending is a good classic mind screw. But yeah, the date isn't exactly fluff; and IMO the circumstances that led to the classified information scene could have more Kyon trying to act tough and cool for Mikuru, saying something that reassures Mikuru enough to spill her troubles to him.
And something about being hunted by Haruhi; it's funny, but the coincidence in meeting her is quite unreal, I would think. :p
The first line he edited actually wrecked the grammar.
If you say so, editor-san. :p It is not like I understand english grammar (which is shame, as it is a pretty easy grammar).
PP:
And something about being hunted by Haruhi; it's funny, but the coincidence in meeting her is quite unreal, I would think. :p
Well, this kinda of coincidences are not absurd whe it is talking about Haruhi. Maybe she just wanted to meet Kyon. Idea, how about making Haruhi runing into him in every scenario. Or at last making them pass really near each other? Them it would give the idea Haruhi is changing the reality to find Kyon, no matter where he is.
Kogetsu Shirogane
2009-12-18, 23:26
Mitsuuru: Surprise!
What an amusing callback...
Ricky Controversy
2009-12-18, 23:32
The first line he edited actually wrecked the grammar.
Ah yeah, I aborted one change halfway through to make another and missed the clean up. Good eyes, but it's fixed now. I was originally going to have him ask "Do you think it's fair...", but Itsuki has a tendency to be indirect.
swtrooper42
2009-12-18, 23:47
Mikuru: I guess... I'll call him 'Mu-chan'!
Kyon: ...Where did you get a name like that?
Mikuru: I wonder...
Kyon: ...
Mikuru: ...
Kyon: ...
Hilarious shout out there.
I hear a ringing in my ears that sounds suspiciously like music.
I ignore it, instead stepping up onto the railing.
Mikuru: ...Kyon-kun...?
Kyon: Wait here, Asahina-san! If you see Haruhi, don't hesitate to book it.
Mikuru: Ah! Wait, what are you--
Kyon: Haaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I dive forward, into the river... managing to land both in the water... and right on top of the lion!
I hear a couple of screams from the shore before I'm submerged completely, my ears filling up with the dirty riverwater.
Still submerged, I flip over, and, kicking hard, swim back towards the bridge. I reach up, grab the bottom rail with one hand, and with a few kicks and a lot of effort, manage to pull myself up and back onto the bridge.
...This took less than a minute of time.
...Wait. Isn't that kind of inhuman!?
Mikuru: Um, um... what just happened?
Kyon: I have no idea. Here, take Mu-chan and let's keep running!
I'll sort out what the hell I just did later. We need to escape, or Haruhi's ire will burn us alive!
A true man does not give up. When it's time to get moving he goes beyond the impossible!
Kaisos Erranon
2009-12-18, 23:48
To be fair, I am terrible at fluff and I don't like Mikuru that much.
Thanks for the suggestions, guys, but can anyone give me suggestions on actual fluff to write? What do you want to see?
Sigh... at least Yuki should be easier.
What an amusing callback...
Someone got it. :heh: Good.
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