Thanks a lot for the great reply to my latest fanfic chapter. Just to answer a couple questions you raised:
1. Kyubey likely respawned a minute or two after Jinnai incinerated him, but at that point, the fight was on, so Kyubey just hung back to see what would happen next.
2. I had considered having a big five-on-one fight (the three Puella Magi joining Kotetsu and Barnaby against Jinnai), but I admittedly got a bit lazy here and didn't want it to drag too much. Plus, involving the three Puella Magi like that would necessitate all sorts of added dialogue over Kotetsu and Barnaby wondering why these girls can use magic, and I think that could have distracted a bit too much from the fight itself.
I'm very glad that you really liked how Sayaka handled herself in that latest fanfic update! I thought back to how Sayaka handled things back in Episode 1, when Madoka went off to rescue Kyubey before being confronted by Homura. Sayaka didn't stop Madoka from going, but she clearly must have followed behind Madoka, and then Sayaka leaped into action when it looked like the situation was really tense between Madoka and Homura. I think that reflects Sayaka's shrewd and careful (but proactive) approach to situations like this one. Sayaka may make quick decisions, but there's usually some good and practical thinking behind them.
Oh no, it sucks when that happens. I hope you have backups of your most important data.
The only real objections I had were in Sayaka's route. I only had three actual suggestions, and they were all in there. If I were to place those suggested changes in order of priority, I'd go with:
1.) Her unusually shameless behavior. The protective best friend and lover wouldn't allow the privacy and modesty of her loved one to be compromised.
2.) The genki girl grin instead of a proud chuckle.
3.) A crepe instead of an ice cream cone.
where 1 has the highest priority.
I'm fine, but I'm actually supposed to be busy over several weeks for an OJT program required by the university. Except I haven't found a place to work in yet. If I'm not online for a workweek, then I've started by then.
1.) I thought you handled her fine in the two bad ends. Nothing overly jarring. The only thing that I initially took exception to was how bold of them to be engaging in public displays of affection, but I wrote that off as just them being a young lovey-dovey couple that got carried away with emotion. I don't really have any useful comments for Kyousuke, though.
2.) Generally, it was good. The other conversations were okay, almost like routine interactions to be naturally expected from the characters, with the exception of the "breaking the bad news" section (including the two bad ends), Madoka being a devious player, and Sayaka's dramatic daughter-father confrontation, which I thought formed the highlights of the update.