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Conversation Between King Lycan and Ledgem
Showing Visitor Messages 11 to 20 of 43
  1. Ledgem
    2009-06-15 21:56
    Ledgem
    Yes, I think so, too. At least by current societal standards.

    As to why - I've always dated with the intent of finding "the one." I never got into dating for drama, or as some sort of game. If it was clear to me that a relationship didn't have lasting potential, I'd cut it. It may sound somewhat heartless, but there's nothing cold about it - I was just focused on the end result.

    My fiancee is really an incredible person. I've never met anyone like her before, and I don't think I'll ever find anyone who has all of her characteristics. She's beautiful, yet she isn't vain; she's intelligent; and she's the kindest person I've ever met in my life. I've met people who might have been able to match (and perhaps even exceed) her in one of those areas, but never has anyone surpassed her in all of those areas. She's far above everyone else in that regard.

    And perhaps most important of all, she's just as committed to me as I am to her. She wants the same end result that I do. Perhaps because of that, and perhaps due to our overall compatibility, we're averaging one "fight" per year (put into quotes, because compared to some couples' fights, ours are minor disagreements). I was lucky that I found her so early, and that I had the sense to recognize how special our bond was.

    Will I live to regret it - "throwing away my youth," never getting to date hundreds of women? That sort of thing doesn't appeal to me, so I don't think so. I don't have any major regrets in my life, but if I'd lost her, that would certainly be a huge one. She's truly one in six billion.

    For certain, there's an element of risk. Even though we'd dated for two years before I engaged her, we're still relatively young, and we could radically change to the point that we'd become incompatible with one another. Or, perhaps two years would turn out to not be long enough to gauge true compatibility, and incompatibilities will form along the way. It's possible, and I certainly don't advocate that anyone should rush into seriously committing to a relationship, especially if they haven't had the time to fully evaluate it.

    On the other hand, you have to take some risks in life. How old do you have to be for that sort of committment to become acceptable? How long must one date to really be able to know for sure that this person is "the one"? Is time even a good measure of compatibility? There's no good answer to any of those. However, I found someone who I admire, am attracted to, and love to the point that I will make changes to accommodate her. She has shown that she's no less willing than I to do the same. After I'd evaluated things for as long as I did, the timing was right to really strengthen the relationship and officially show that we were in it for the long term. And if anyone else ever found themselves in a similar situation as I was in, I'd recommend them to do the same. These things are seemingly all too rare in our world, sadly. It's like stumbling upon a fairy that will grant you your deepest wish - don't sit there thinking too hard about what you want, all while giving the fairy the opportunity to escape. Hold on and don't let go no matter what, and make that wish come true.

    I should, of course, add that my parents divorced when I was well old enough to remember everything about it. Since that occurred I spent years upon years pondering what goes into a relationship. What makes a relationship fail, what makes a relationship succeed, how you can tell, what you have to do, and what you should expect in turn. I read up on the science behind attraction and desire. It doesn't make me a relatonship guru (hell, I didn't end up sticking with the first girl I dated, so it isn't like that sort of knowledge can make any relationship perfect). I like to think that it makes me somewhat better able to make this sort of jump and be successful at it, though. Because above all, I do not want to have to live through a second divorce.

    But that's just background - none of that is of a real concern to me, otherwise I wouldn't be doing what I am. I hope that some day you'll also find someone so special that you can write an essay of horribly sappy things about her on a message forum, too Bahaha!
  2. King Lycan
    2009-06-15 14:21
    King Lycan
    No
    Just wandering why you want get married at 23 . I think its quite early
  3. Ledgem
    2009-06-15 03:04
    Ledgem
    Yes, and so do hers... hahah, you think I'm sneaking around or something?
  4. King Lycan
    2009-06-15 03:00
    King Lycan
    And Do your parents know ?
  5. Ledgem
    2009-06-15 02:43
    Ledgem
    Yeah, I'd say so. I'm looking forward to it
  6. King Lycan
    2009-06-15 02:22
    King Lycan
    Are You prepared for the Consequences
  7. Ledgem
    2009-06-15 02:12
    Ledgem
    Yes, I am
  8. King Lycan
    2009-06-15 01:51
    King Lycan
    Your getting Married ?
  9. King Lycan
    2009-05-27 11:37
    King Lycan
    Yea it s going Pretty well
    I'm Out of school graduation is next week
  10. Ledgem
    2009-05-03 17:20
    Ledgem
    Nope, not finals, just busy these days. The forum had become too addictive, so I figured I'd spend some time away. I'll still be keeping away, but I had some free time today so I figured I'd check out what's new.

    Hope all is going well with you!

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