Mark Forums Read
Exiled to the Couch
Omake Collection: A Homunculus Is Fine, Too!
Trouble logging in?
If you can't remember your password or are having trouble logging in, you will have to
reset your password
. If you have trouble resetting your password (for example, if you lost access to the original email address), please
do not start posting with a new account
, as this is against the forum rules. If you create a temporary account, please contact us right away via
, and send us any information you can about your original account, such as the account name and any email address that may have been associated with it.
There are changes planned for the forum that are known to be incompatible with older browsers. In particular if you are still using Internet Explorer on Windows XP (or similar old OS or browser), please consider upgrading a.s.a.p. or the forum will stop loading for you. Detailed information can be found
in this thread
Omake Collection: A Homunculus Is Fine, Too!
As you already know if you read the author's notes for "A Homunculus Is Fine, Too! (Tahlea Side)," then you know that this story was something I thought up a bit ago. It was originally imagined as a single one-chapter story (say, 4000 words or so) that consisted of a series of scenes or vignettes through the day, from morning through to evening. I then ran into a wall
funny ideas for some of the later scenes...
...so I decided, well, since each scene is basically its own independent mini-story in a series, why not do it as an omake collection? I can just add each one on as I think of it, and slap the "complete" label on the end whenever I get there!
So, here you are!
A Homunculus Is Fine, Too: Daybreak
Amoretta Virgine was a very special homunculus.
Like all creations of artificial life, homunculi were flawed existences. The magic of alchemy did not flawlessly command the fundamental energies of life. The biological mechanics of the body, the nature of the intellect, these were still mysterious matters not completely penetrated. The secrets of the soul were but a thing barely glimpsed. For a homunculus, the "spark of life" that animated them was not self-sustaining, but depended upon an ongoing magical reaction within a specially constructed flask. Most homunculi could not even leave their flask, resulting in the rather cute picture of catlike creatures with upside-down bottles over their heads waddling around on feet that poked out of the flask's neck.
Amoretta was quite different. Though the flask sustained her life the same way as for any homunculus, she was able to move around separate from it, and her body was shaped like and largely similar to a human's. This was because her creator, Chartreuse Grande, had not truly built her from scratch, but instead had incorporated a pre-existing spirit to serve as the core of her existence, fulfilling the function that a soul did for a normal person.
He'd gone one step beyond merely hijacking a used soul into his pet project, though. The spirit that he'd chosen wasn't human. Indeed, it wasn't even mortal, but an angel. Amoretta often wondered if this had something to do with the disconnect she'd felt from her own life in her early days. A normal person's soul is created together with their body and enters existence hand-in-hand with it. But Amoretta's soul, even though her
couldn't access them, held the memories of perhaps eons of a spiritual existence completely alien to her new life.
It had all left her very confused. Angels are sometimes referred to an androgynous, because as spiritual existences they lack the biology of sexual reproduction, having no more use for such a thing than an amoeba. But now she had a mortal, physical body made from Adam's rib—that is to say, female (though no more capable of reproduction than the angel had been), a body weak to the temptations of the flesh that came with a mortal existence. Temptations that, she'd found, a homunculus could suffer as freely from as a human.
All of which was really just a long-winded way of stating that Amoretta had awakened that morning feeling positively horny.
This was not a problem that was without a solution, because Amoretta's specialness among homunculi wasn't just in what she
, but in what she
. As an artificial existence, she needed love, quite literally, to sustain herself, being divorced from God's creations. Dr. Chartreuse had not loved her, so she was ecstatic when she'd met Lillet Blan, who could and did give her that love. Amoretta was nearly as happy to be able to return that love, so that there was a genuine bond between the two of them. To Amoretta, love was love; its particular form was just a secondary matter, so she'd been content to let Lillet define the nature of that relationship. Amoretta would have been no less fulfilled and happy had the two of them been friends-as-close-as-sisters, lifelong platonic companions. Only they weren't, since Lillet preferred a somewhat different definition.
Which was a nearly-as-long-winded way of observing that a nineteen-year-old Royal Magician, blonde and violet-eyed with a roses-and-cream complexion and a figure that had undergone some really interesting changes during the past year was sleeping with her head on the next pillow, the thin linen of her nightgown the only thing separating the curve of her derriere from Amoretta's hip.
Some problems were complex and difficult; others had extremely obvious answers,
Amoretta rolled over on her side, slipping her arm around Lillet's waist. She leaned in close, so that her face was snuggled up against the side of the sleeping girl's head.
"Lillet," she purred throatily, her lips just brushing against her lover's ear, the warmth of her breath tickling at the delicate skin. "Lillet, it's time to wake up." Her fingertips traced patterns over Lillet's belly, gently teasing her through the nightgown. A shiver ran through the girl's body, making Amoretta smile. "Lillet, darling..."
"Ern...mm..." Lillet murmured, her eyelids fluttering. "Am...oret...ta?" she managed to get out, her voice still thick with sleep.
"It's time to wake up, Lillet," Amoretta repeated. "You have something important to do this morning." Her teeth gently teased at Lillet's earlobe, before she moved down to the side of her lover's neck, gently nibbling, letting herself taste the sweetness of Lillet's skin.
"Ah!" Lillet gasped, then giggled at the tickling sensation. "I need to...do what?" Her eyes then fell on the wall clock. "Oh!" she exclaimed, sitting bolt upright so fast that she jerked right out of Amoretta's embrace. "That's right! I have that meeting with Master Freixenet about setting up a research group for establishing a set of grimoires that might be used by magicians working with the City Watch." She whirled around, bent over, and gave Amoretta a quick kiss on the lips. "Thanks so much for getting me up early, little love; I'd have overslept without you!"
She leapt out of bed and was darting towards the bureau to get her clothes when a thought struck her, and she turned back,
"Amoretta, how did you know that I wanted to get up early? I don't remember telling you about the meeting?"
Amoretta just sighed and let her face drop into the pillow.
Fuyu no Sora
*crawls in exhausted after being halfway-done on final essay*
Excuse me for a moment.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, that's one of the funniest omakes I've read with Amoretta.
Lillet's sense of timing is
and I'm sure she'll be beating herself up when she finds out what it was Amoretta woke her up for (Amoretta's bound to tell her.
) and finds out she missed out on 'pleasant morning activities.'
Excellent omake as always, Dezo-sama.
I have to say, my favorite line is "All of which was really just a long-winded way of stating that Amoretta had awakened that morning feeling positively horny." I never thought I'd associate that word with Amoretta.
I do feel bad for poor Amoretta, though, but the circumstances are really funny, too.
And the "Lillet, darling..." was cute, by the way.
It was really, really cute. ^_^
*crawls back out*
*snicker* *snicker* *snerk* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
funny! Excellent story! You just have to love Amoretta's horrible timing!
*The word "horny"
made me giggle since I don't associate that particular word with her.
Three things did jump out at me. The sentences "Some problems were complex and difficult; others had extremely obvious answers," and "She leapt out of bed and was darting towards the bureau to get her clothes when a thought struck her, and she turned back," would be better with periods than commas at the end-I'm assuming they are typos-and I think that the question mark at the end of the second sentence of "... I don't remember telling you about the meeting?" would look better as either a period or exclamation mark; to me, it's a statement of fact and not a question so I think it would look better that way.
Looking forward to the next one!
"a body weak to the temptations of the flesh that came with a mortal existence" indeed
Thank you Gov'nor, made me giggle after a day filled to the brim with mindnumbing unreasonableness XD
Ah the drawbacks of being mortal and having a lover with a busy schedule.
Like Fuyu and Tarma, I also laughed at the crassness of the "horny" line
This was really cute, and indeed I had started to raise my eyebrow at the long-winded opening, going into a lot more detail and commentary about homunculi than I thought was particularly needed...and
the long-windedness is
in such a hilarious way by the narrator/Amoretta that it became utterly hilarious
Some problems were complex and difficult; others had extremely obvious answers,
Loved this line too
. I was snickering as I read on
A lot of times, the "one party wants sex while the other is oblivious" stories can get a little routine, but the fact that Lillet
Amoretta so profusely, and then actually realizes herself that Amoretta
have known about the meeting...it tipped this little omake from "generic" into "tip of the hat" from me
. Great job!
Dezo you're a bad influence. You always manage to skip the queue somehow.
*NSFW* Morning Silk *NSFW*
Since there's nudity I won't upload it to the album unless Dezo gives the ok. No naughty parts, just well, lack of clothing and all
EDIT: for those without dA accounts:-
Oh, my! I think if Lillet had seen that, she'd have had an, "Ah, I don't care if I'm late to the meeting!" reaction!
Hm, in checking out the site rules, I'm honestly not 100% certain. The picture seems legitimate for AnimeSuki NSFW standards since there are no nipples, no genitalia, and no sexual acts being performed. But I don't know if such pics can be submitted to social group galleries since NSFW tags cannot be applied to such galleries.
I have seen more explicit pics in other social groups, but I don't know if that's "an accurate reflection of community standards and practices" or "because people don't know the rules." I'm inclined to say that it should stay in a thread like this one where proper warning tags can be applied.
Chapter 1 now posted to fanfiction.net.
And now, part two!
A Homunculus Is Fine, Too! -- Midday
Generally, a magician with quarters in the Royal House of Magic did not have a family. It was unusual enough that Lillet had an elf servant of her own, Gaff, but he was easily enough brought into the staff. But a young magician’s room and board stipend generally covered one person in palace quarters, not two, so those with families generally had their own house, or would pay for the extra person (or people, if there were children or private servants were also requires). Coming from humble origins, Lillet didn’t have the savings to pay for a family’s upkeep, and she was using the extra money from her own salary to save for her younger brothers to attend school.
They got around this problem because Amoretta, unlike other homunculi, could use human magic. It was probably due to her angel core—greater devils, for example, could use magic and were or had been spawned from the fallen angels. Therefore, Amoretta had been admitted in her own right to the Royal House of Magic as an apprentice. Her nearly eidetic memory made her quite useful in this capacity. Therefore, while Lillet was at her morning meeting, Amoretta soon found herself working in the alchemy lab, assisting Mistress Livingston with her experiments.
Experiments which seemed entirely focused upon the transfer and interaction of a variety of viscous fluids.
This did not, as might be expected, make for a pleasant morning. She did not make any mistakes, thankfully, but watching clear fluids slowly flow out of a retort to drip, drip, drip into a flask was not easy on the homunculus. When her hoped-for encounter with Lillet had not turned out as planned, Amoretta had resolved to take it philosophically, set her physical desires aside, and get on with the day.
It was very hard to do that when the day appeared to be investing every task with a variety of sexual metaphors.
She made it back to their room a bit before lunchtime, with the experiment complete and a clawing ache between her legs.
This, she decided, called for strategy.
Amoretta changed her clothes first, removing the fairly utilitarian dress she wore for her apprentice’s duties and donning one with a corset-like top that left a great deal of cleavage on display and a skirt that fell only to mid-thigh. It was a garment that was supposed to be worn over a blouse and hose for a layered effect. Amoretta didn’t bother with the blouse and hose. Instead, she put on a pair of boots, thigh-high, tall-heeled black leather ones that resembled her favorites that she’d worn at the Silver Star Tower except for their height. The heels served to accentuate the curve of her hips, and the band of creamy flesh between the boot-tops and the hem of the skirt drew the eye immediately. Elbow-length kid gloves left her neck, shoulders, and a goodly portion of her upper chest bare; the whisper of her own hair across her skin as she moved made her flesh tingle and her imagination think of what Lillet’s own long, blonde hair would feel like as it brushed against her.
She gripped the back of the nearest chair and had to take a deep breath to steady herself. It was, she decided, all too easy to understand how the temptations of the flesh and the sin of lust could lead a person down the wrong path. It made Amoretta very thankful that she had a genuine lover to share those feelings with, someone to love and be loved by, so that even the most enthusiastically creative carnal acts were nonetheless done in the spirit of shared intimacy and celebration of the deeper feelings between them.
On the other hand, true love actually made her fleshly temptations a bit
in one respect. The lack of any sense of guilt or shame about those feelings meant that there was that much less of a sense of restraint, of a reason to hold back. Only the circumstances of time, place, and Lillet’s own feelings gave Amoretta any reason to pause. And it was eminently more difficult to go without something that was unreservedly good as opposed to something that had up and down sides.
She checked the clock. It was quarter past twelve, just about the time when Lillet usually came back for luncheon, unless they’d planned to eat in the Royal House of Magic’s dining hall. While the apprentices usually ate there, the Royal Magicians as often as not didn’t, since they’d be busy with projects of one kind or another much of the time. And Lillet enjoyed dining with Amoretta
, as it were.
...Even if this time, Amoretta intended for it to be more of an
meal. And it offered opportunities, besides, she thought, imagining herself licking honey off of Lillet’s—
A knock at the door interrupted the homunculus in the midst of her salacious imaginings.
The door swung open and Gaff pushed in a cart bearing several covered dishes as well as the plates, glass, and cutlery for a place setting.
“Gaff, why is there only lunch for one here?”
“Huh? Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know, would you. Here, Lillet handed me this to give you.”
The elfin boy handed over a folded piece of paper; Amoretta opened it and read the note.
Sorry I can’t make it to lunch, little love. We got into a real debate over the proper use of battle magic with General Amstel and we’re probably going to be at it well into the afternoon. I had Gaff get some of your favorite cherry pie with whipped cream as an apology, though I’ll miss watching you smile while you eat it. Miss you!
Gaff was busy setting Amoretta’s place at the table.
“So I guess she’s not going to be able to make it. It’s too bad; I’ll bet all those big-shots she’s stuck with won’t even stop to have lunch, they’re so busy with all their plans and charts and things. For a bunch of smart people, magicians really can be pretty dumb about taking care of themselves properly.”
“I don’t even think she had breakfast this morning, and you know how she is about that,” Gaff continued, oblivious to the fact that Amoretta would rather have done without any reminders of how Lillet had had to rush out early that morning. After he set the lunch dishes out on the table, he paused and took a longer look at her. “Is that a new outfit? I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”
“It’s not exactly new, just differently mixed from other ones.”
“Oh, okay. Well, whatever it is, it looks pretty. I’m sure Lillet would really like to see you in it.”
Amoretta pressed her palm to her face with a groan.
Poor Horny Homunculus! Amoretta just can't seem to catch a break in this series.
Clearly this ends with Amoretta
Lillet when they're getting in bed at the end of the day. In the best way possible.
I thought about that, and the way Dezo is going, Amoretta is likely going to suffer a bit more, as I can think of several ways for Amoretta to be foiled, but won't mention them here in case Dezo plans to use them.
*snerk* Poor Amoretta; she's having such a hard time! Hopefully, it will end well!
Looking forward to the next!
In a surprising bout of belated inspiration, I got to work on the next installment today. Should have it up sometime tomorrow. This time, Amoretta decides to be a bit more active in her planning rather than just waiting in ambush... :sweatdrop:
Well, if TV and movies have taught me anything, one can only take so much sexual frustration before snapping.
We may get to find if Amoretta has such a snapping point, because I did in fact finish up that chapter (mind you, they're pretty short chapters, only omake-length):
A Homunculus Is Fine, Too! -- Afternoon
The Royal Palace was a large, sprawling complex in the heart of the capital. It had not been designed according to a fixed plan, but had rather grown up organically over the course of several centuries, being added to or occasionally subtracted from as need or chance provided. There were therefore a number of towers, passages, gates, outbuildings, and courtyards set in odd places without any apparent rhyme or reason.
One particular small, triangular courtyard—little more than a gap formed where walls met at an odd angle—was a place of which Lillet and Amoretta were particularly fond. Maybe there was some sentimental connection to how they'd made up after a serious fight there once, or perhaps the seclusion it offered combined with the natural attraction of the maple tree in the center just suited them. For whatever reason, it was a place that the two young women liked to use to sit and talk together, or just to snuggle up close on one of the stone benches and hold hands.
Romance, however, was not on Amoretta's mind. Or rather, it was, since there was no mistaking that the rendezvous she was planning was in fact one rooted in love and affection, the feelings that delivered many bouquets to many women throughout the year. It was just the expression of that love that was different. She did not intend for quiet reminiscences, or for chaste kisses on the hand.
No, chastity definitely played no part in her intentions.
Having been put off in the morning and thwarted at noon, the homunculus had decided that she needed to stop relying upon chance and expectation to get her what she wanted, which was Lillet Blan out of her clothes and sobbing in ecstasy. The fundamental problem that she had to undress—
, she corrected herself, biting her lip—was that she had to be prepared for seduction. She could not simply
that Lillet would be in the right place at the right time.
was the emotion that had gotten her standing there after three o'clock with her mind consumed by images of a lithely curved blonde leaning forward with hands pressed against the wall, skirts bunched above her waist, looking back over her shoulder with a sultry invitation in her violet eyes...
The point being, if Amoretta wanted to spend a passionate hour, or two, or three (it varied, but had been getting steadily longer in her mind as the day wore on) with Lillet she couldn't just wait for the opportunity to do so to drop into her lap. That simply wasn't good enough. Just because they were in an existing, committed relationship didn't mean that she could sit back and let things happen as they happened. While her personal experience was limited to what she'd seen in others, the mistakes people made appeared to be that they spent all kinds of time and effort on the courtship and very little on what came after.
In other words, if Amoretta wanted an opportunity to seduce Lillet, she was just going to have to make one.
Which was why she was standing in this courtyard. A courtyard which did not have any overlooking windows. A courtyard which was surrounded by very thick stone walls and heavy, iron-banded wooden doors. Doors, moreover, to which Amoretta had secured possession of the keys. A courtyard, therefore, which was as functionally private as the room Amoretta and Lillet shared.
Amoretta knew that Lillet had an affection for seeing her body by firelight, the orange glow painting her skin bronze. But she herself liked to see Lillet by the light of the sun, which brought out the rosy glow of her peaches-and-cream complexion and made her hair shine like a golden waterfall where the sun caught the highlights.
When the invitation she'd sent brought Lillet there, Amoretta was sure that she'd be able to treat herself to that. She had confidence, after all, in her ability to seduce her lover when the circumstances allowed. That wasn't ego, just the logical conclusion brought about from three years' experiences. It was making the chance that presented the greatest obstacle.
The bell of the Palace clock chimed four times, echoing down through the sky, and not five seconds later one of the courtyard doors swung open to admit Lillet.
Amoretta's heart lit up at the sight of her beloved. She really did dislike to be separated from Lillet; even the few hours apart required by their various duties each day was annoying. It was part of her homunculus nature, she understood, the need to be with the person who was the source of the love that quite literally sustained her existence.
That Lillet understood and wasn't bothered by a need for closeness, that in a human would have been abnormal, even obsessive, was one of the many things Amoretta adored about her. It would have been all too easy for her to grow tired and frustrated with Amoretta's clinging to her, but Lillet had never protested or complained.
The surge of emotion at seeing Lillet, therefore, didn't
come from Amoretta's aching loins. Maybe not even primarily.
That, as it turned out, was a very good thing.
"Oh, Amoretta, how are you? I haven't seen you in a couple of days."
The voice emerged from behind Lillet. A moment later, a woman who looked to be perhaps five years or so older than the blonde magician (though in reality, it was more like forty-five) emerged from the relative darkness of the hallway into the sunlit courtyard.
"Good afternoon, Mistress Artois," Amoretta said politely. She had, after all, learned
things about being tactful, and wasn't sure that the elder magician deserved to be a victim of her ire.
"I'm sorry that I missed lunch," Lillet said, apparently feeling that explanations were in order.
Which they are
, Amoretta thought. "Magic is very powerful in battle, but it's not really certain how it can best be integrated into mass combat for tactical effect."
"Or if it even should be," Stella Artois put in. "It's one thing to be ready to help defend the kingdom against magical threats like the Archmage, but quite another to begin deliberately integrating magicians into the regular standing army. For magicians to become viewed as instruments of royal tyranny just defeats the purpose of trying to fit our craft into normal society."
"I still believe you're overstating things. The Queen isn't a tyrant, and neither are her sons."
"I agree with that. But tell me, Mistress Blan, do you trust the Chamberlain, the Grand Council, and the noble lords the same way? Royal power is royal power, even if it's delegated."
"Excuse me," Amoretta put in, "but while I understand the ethical complexities of the issue, what I do not see is how it relates to why Mistress Artois has joined us."
"Oh, well, we were still discussing the point when I got your message saying you wanted to see me," Lillet said, "and I realized that since we hadn't been together all day you were probably getting uncomfortable, so I wanted to make time for you. But we were still in the middle of our debate, so I thought Mistress Artois and I could keep working on our opinion. Master Friexenet doesn't want to report back until we have some kind of consensus for the Royal Magicians. Besides, you're really good at ethical problems, Amoretta. I thought you might be able to offer some input on our position."
Touched as she was that Lillet would take time out of her schedule to satisfy her need for close contact, Amoretta still couldn't help but murmur sourly, "I was more than ready to offer input on a completely different position" under her breath.
Man, I love stories and chapters that end with lines like that! Excellent job Mr. Flightless bird in a suit.
*laughs* Poor, poor Amoretta! It seems she's about ready to climb the wall! Today just
I loved Amoretta's line that she muttered under her breath.
Amoretta's thought processes getting derailed every few seconds was absolutely hilarious.
Now I think I need a beer.
*3 seconds later*
You have put my mind in the gutter and I can't ignore the double entendre I accidentally created :x Mistress Artois might not appreciate it.
Page 1 of 3
Mark This Discussion Read
Mark This Discussion Read
All times are GMT -5. The time now is
-- AnimeSuki Default
-- AnimeSuki Default (Contacts Highlighted)
-- AnimeSuki Default (Original Navigation)
-- AnimeSuki Compressed
-- AnimeSuki Blue
-- AnimeSuki Blue (Reordered)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.