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Exiled to the Couch
Omake Fic: Truth is More Boring than Fiction
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Omake Fic: Truth is More Boring than Fiction
I don't know where all these omake are coming from, lately...
A/N: Anyone wondering who Cressidor might be should refer to my previous stories, "The Making of a Family" and "Yes, Virgine, There Is a Santa Claus."
~X X X~
Cressidor Marie Blan-Virgine snuggled into her covers, ready for her bedtime story.
"Once upon a time," the storyteller began, "there was a very handsome young man, with long blond hair and skin like alabaster, and many men and women fancied themselves in love with him."
"Was he a prince?" Cress asked. She was of that age where princes and princesses made everything better in a story.
"No, just a younger son of a wealthy family."
"In any case, one day a witch happened to see this young man, and instantly fell in...well, let's say love," the storyteller edited, mindful of Cress's tender years, "with him. This witch was very beautifuló"
"Perhaps a little bit, but this witch was also wicked and cruel."
"Not like Mama, then."
"Not very much, which is good for you," the storyteller agreed. "The young man was not tempted by her beauty, and the witch became very angry. She put a curse on the young man, turning him into the form of a great beast, and so he would remain forever unless his cold heart melted for love of another,
they came to love him in return despite his hideous form.
"Now, the young man was of a scholarly disposition, and for a while he rather enjoyed the peace and quiet of being a beast; he could actually get some work done without tripping over some lovesick person every five minutes. But when the witch saw this, she grew very annoyed. So she went to her apprentice, who was also very beautifuló"
"Not really; she wasn't wicked or cruel, but she was very silly sometimes. The apprentice had always thought the young man was handsome, and she was a very romantic person, and the witch played upon her nature with the story of how only true love could break the curse. Soon, the apprentice was all swept up in the story and fell head-over-heels in love with him."
"Did she break the curse?"
"No, she did what the witch wanted: she pledged her love for the young man, and she hung around his laboratory and generally made a complete nuisance of herself and caused him no end of trouble. You see, the witch wanted the curse to
a curse, otherwise what would be the point? Finally, though, the apprentice became so irritating that even though she was a friend of his, and even though he knew it was really the witch who was at fault, the young man lost his temper and told her to go away because he didn't need her. Broken-hearted and humiliated, the apprentice slunk off crying, but luckily two days later a prince confessed his love to her and they eventually were married some years later, and the young man went back to his research. And so everybody lived happily every after except the witch, but she was a ghost by that time anyway, so she could hardly be expected to live, happily or otherwise."
The storyteller leaned back, obviously done.
"Um..." Cress began hesitantly. She wasn't quite sure what to say, but her mother had raised her to always be an honest person, especially with loved ones, and Cress supposed she should know. "Grandpa Chartreuse, you tell really bad bedtime stories."
The lion-headed alchemist's face fell, and Cressidor felt sorry for hurting his feelings.
"It's all right, Grandpa!" she tried to reassure him. "Um...I know, I'll tell
a story! Then you'll know a good one to tell if you have any other grandchildren some day!"
I thought at first the storyteller was Amoretta (the part about "witch happened to see this young man, and instantly fell in...
well, let's say love
," the storyteller edited, mindful of Cress's tender years") given Amoretta's feelings about love. Then when it went on I thought, "Oh, this is Beauty and the Beast!" and then even
I thought "Ah, this is about Chartreuse!" and finally at the end I realized that it
Chartreuse telling the story!
It's quite funny how there really was a "prince" to sweep that apprentice off her feet!
Awww, when Chartreuse felt sad at Cressidor's honest opinion, I wanted to give him a hug! ^^
Hm, the ending lines were good, but I actually expected the beginning of a story to end the omake
. I was fully expecting Cressidor to jump into a story (perhaps about "A lonely girl who was suddenly swept off her feet by a witch; not a mean witch but a really, really nice witch who was also called a magician"?
....) after her final words to Chartreuse. But overall, so cute!
I love how the actual Prince in the story is a throwaway line. I almost expected Cress to latch on to that moment ("Tell me about
!"), but that might've ruined the effect of the punchline. I had it figured out just before the reveal, though.
Looool Cress was adorable with her responses.
I actually thought it was Margarita at 2 points:
1. when the storyteller censored himself at the beginning (I'd obviously Margarita meant to spare Cress from Lujei's lewdness, while Chartreuse seemed to censor himself to keep things simple for young Cress). I keep thinking Margarita would turn out to be a party girl.
2. "And so everybody lived happily every after except the witch, but she was a ghost by that time anyway, so she could hardly be expected to live, happily or otherwise." - such a great quip if used with the right amount of sarcasm
However I imagine Chartreuse probably said it as a matter of fact.
Keep the omakes coming I say
posted to fanfiction.net
Copy-pasta'ed a review...I meant to come up with something witty to add, but my mind drew a blank, sorry!
I love seeing stories about Lillet and Amoretta and little Cress as a family
. It's so cute and awwwwwwwww-inducing!
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