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Exiled to the Couch
Omake Fic: Whine and Cheese
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Omake Fic: Whine and Cheese
Lillet Blan was many things: a Royal Magician of the palace's magical staff, a prodigy who'd gained her abilities not through genius but by hard work and study, falling through the loops of time for centuries even though she didn't remember it; a woman devoted to her family who sent a substantial portion of her salary home to pay for her little brother to attend school; an equally devoted lover to her homunculus girlfriend.
She was also a teenager.
"It's not fair!" she complained, somewhere into the third hour of work at her desk.
Amoretta Virgine, the homunculus in question, set a cup down at Lillet's right elbow. Fragrant steam rose from the hot tea inside.
"What's wrong, Lillet?"
"This!" Lillet waved her hand at the pile of papers in front of her. "Why on earth do I have to waste all this time on things that I already know how to do?"
"I don't understand."
"Master Friexenet has me filling out this paper on various functions of intermediate-grade sorcery."
"Oh, is that the test, then?"
Lillet pouted, nodding.
"I feel just like when I was studying basic theory at the Magical Society. Only then, the tests were on things I was learning."
Amoretta smiled to herself, thinking that it was cute in its way to see Lillet being petulant. It wasn't, of course, that Lillet didn't genuinely understand what was going on or why she was being tested. It was just the effect of several hours of mind-numbing drudgery on an active mind.
"You know that Master Friexenet requires every new appointment to the Royal House of Magic to undergo these tests," she said, to remind Lillet that the irritation and boredom had a point.
"I know," Lillet sighed.
"Without an accurate gauge of your ability, he can't decide which Royal Magician can be assigned to which projects that the Crown needs to accomplish," she went on.
"Yes, yes. Tell me something I don't know," Lillet muttered.
"All the Court Society ladies are wearing mantles over their dresses this season, but it's only because Lady de Sangri likes wine too much and spilled some over her daughter's dress in their carriage on the way to Prince Aidan's engagement ball. All the debutantes consider Helen de Sangri to be a leader in fashion, so they all started imitating her, not realizing that she was only covering up the stain."
Lillet blinked at Amoretta, her violet eyes wide and uncomprehending.
"You said to tell you something that you didn't know, and I was fairly certain that you didn't know that, since you didn't know that, since you don't follow fashion and I only heard it accidentally myself when Mistress Absinthe's apprentice wasó"
"Amoretta, I didn't mean
! It's just anó"
Amoretta couldn't hold back her giggle any longer; it bubbled up out of her, and a moment later Lillet laughed too, realizing how she'd been taken in.
"Thanks, sweetheart, I needed that, even if it was an
joke. And thanks for the tea, too."
"You're welcome." She leaned in, brushed Lillet's hair back, and kissed her on the forehead. "Would you like me to have Gaff bring us up some dinner?"
"Yes, please. It's going to take me at least another three hours to get through all of this." Sighing heavily, Lillet moaned, "I knew this job has responsibilities, but I thought that once I'd graduated from magic school I'd at least be through with
lol actually Amoretta fooled me too, because it really wouldn't surprise me one bit if she took it literally... very sweet short
Get the feeling Gaff might have some more cleaning to do once Lillet's finished with her test though... neheheheh
I for one am glad to be done with homework. Now work just follows me home.
I bet Lillet wishes that they could gauge magical ability the
-way: by epic battles and explosions!
Amoretta's attempt at humour that still rests in character made me laugh
(whew, that sentence was awkward and grammatically terrible!)
I still have homework........ *sobs in corner*
Thank you both!
I have to admit, I'm flattered by your appreciation of the double-layer to the joke, because I did that on purpose.
My original idea was to simply out of the blue have someone say something completely random for "tell me something I don't know" ...because I actually pulled that on Tarma
...and have it be someone who was the kind of completely literal person who would do that. Sette seemed to me the only one who'd fit that other than Amoretta, so this quickly ended up a
omake. Then I thought it would be funnier (and sweeter) if Amoretta
her awareness of her own literalism to joke with Lillet to try to raise her spirits, so...thanks for noticing!
It was a great joke, Dezo.
And a cute short.
Now posted to fanfiction-dot-net.
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