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Chaos2Frozen Chaos2Frozen is offline

Retroactive Momentum

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Showing Visitor Messages 5781 to 5790 of 6469
  1. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-05 09:23
    Kuroi Hadou
    No problem.

    I'll try.
  2. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-05 09:15
    Kuroi Hadou
    There isn't much to change, honestly. The only real suggestion I have is to focus on either Index's dream or her interaction with the real Touma. Keep both of them, but make one of them the focus of the story.
  3. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-05 09:04
    Kuroi Hadou
    It'll probably be a few days before I get around to it: I just came down with a nasty bug. It's all I can do to type this...
  4. MeisterBabylon
    2011-07-05 03:49
    Maybe not when I'm in the middle of a busy rotation...
  5. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-04 19:44
    Kuroi Hadou
    Something wrong? You don't sound too thrilled...
  6. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-04 18:16
    Kuroi Hadou
    Oh, that reminds me: I need to finish beta-ing Part 3 of that Nanoha fic you PMed me.
  7. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-04 17:32
    Kuroi Hadou
    It's a good plan. You should include a few of Hamazura though; round out the Three Heroes.
  8. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-04 17:27
    Kuroi Hadou
    Uh... why Fukiyose?
  9. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-04 17:21
    Kuroi Hadou
    Do Imouto first.
  10. Kuroi Hadou
    2011-07-04 17:14
    Kuroi Hadou
    It happens.

    Somewhat. It's a good start, but it could use some fleshing out (pun not intended). I did my best to make it a bit more "reaction-inducing" using the writing style you used, but my recommendation is to concentrate more on the sensations than the actual actions. We all know how it's done (I hope ); what the readers want to know is what the participants are feeling.

About Me

  • About Chaos2Frozen
    Digital World
    You're looking at it ;)
    University Student in Aeronautical Engineering
    PC Configuration
    I have no idea how this thing works
    Currently Watching
    Summer 2015

    Ranpo Kitan

    Rokka no Yuusha
    Ushio to Tora
    Joukamachi no Dandelion

    DurararaX2 Ten
    Gatchaman Crowds insight
    Akagami no Shirayuki Hime
    Monster Musume
    Classroom Crisis
    - Rokka no Yuusha
    - Classroom Crisis
    - Arslan Senki
    - Shokugeki no Soma
    - Assassination Classroom
    - Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso
    - Amagi Brilliant Park
    - Inou Battle wa Nichijou-kei no Naka de
    - Gundam Build Fighters
    - Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun
    - Nisekoi
    - No Game No Life
    - Knights of Sidonia
    - Haiyore! Nyaruko-san
    - Oda Nobuna no Yabou
    - Kokoro Connect
    - Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun
    - Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo
    - Mondaijitachi ga Isekai Kara Kuru Sou Desu yo
    - Hataraku Maou-sama!
    - Gin no Saji
    - Log Horizon
    - Persona 4
    - Acchi Kocchi
    - Jormungand
    - Tasogare Otome x Amnesia
    - Bakamonogatari
    - Daily Lives of High School Boys
    - Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon
    - C -C Cube-
    - Working'!!
    - Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu Ni!
    - Kami-sama no Memo-chou
    - Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko
    - To aru Majutsu no Index II
    - Amagami SS
    - Ore no Imouto ga Konnani Kawaii wake ga nai!
    - Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Girls
    - Otome Youkai Zakuro
    - Ookami-san to Shichinin no Nakama-tachi
    - Seitok
  • Signature


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  • Last Activity: Today 10:41
  • Join Date: 2006-11-22


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