A non-claymore related nit-pick at the story, most plate helms would make most head shots harmless to a Claymore with conventional bow and arrow. Even direct sword strikes couldn't breach most solidly forged plate helmets. Crossbows, of course, would be a different matter.
Oh, I assume you're referencing Ursula's death by arrow huh? Or perhaps Josephine's? It's true they were both wearing steel helms, but they were OPEN-FACED steel helms. They could protect against most blows, but not arrows straight to the face. Claymores, as you might imagine, prefer having their vision relatively unconstricted. Their only facial protection is over the forehead, on the sides of the face, and over the cheeks a bit.
That leaves one crucial area open to attack and bad luck, and thus why you saw dead claymores in the fanfic.
1) Galatea's personality and her general attitude, not sure I like the direction you took her character.
Oh well, I've heard about this objection before. Rest assured she will enjoy more sympathetic treatment in book 2, which is currently in progress.
2) MiriaxCid, the pairing doesn't just seem right, not sure he is a good match for Miria, which seems to reflect Helen's thoughts in the story ironically enough.
Ah yes, the perennial question of "Why is she with him?" I've run into this with my neighbor's daughter, who is dating a guy many think "questionable". Why? No one's certain, but there are minor complaints all the time about it. Think of it this way-isn't something like this more realistic than having the bizarre pairing of Miria & Rigardo? You'll note that many of the claymores in the story share your doubts, but like my neighbor's daughter, the relationship endures regardless.
3) The general power of some of the higher ranking Claymores seems understated, I'd expect the single digits to be handle 50x1 odds, easily even for the likes of Miria and Clare. The general speed of Claymores seems much greater then horses and human reaction speed imo.
Now, now, if you actually go back and read the story you'll notice Miata did just fine slaughtering human opposition. Miria didn't see enough combat to end your impression, although her near-awakened moment ought to end your concerns regarding her strength.
I read your entire fic up to date, and I have to admit, I'm really impressed.
That's great to hear! That damn thing isn't quite the finished version (there's still some grammar to be fixed). It's been a multi-hundred hour labor of love, much revised over time to satisfy the fans and my primary editors, Shiek927 (at first) and later Shelter. Tragically Shiek is procrastinating and stuck at chapter 4, so I appreciate the effort on your part.
I'm sure you appreciate the way Miria led all of the Ghosts against the Organization successfully.
Yeah... I literally couldn't breath and everything seemed to freeze. It was a thousand times worse than watching Clare's head get cut off in ch 92... and that one floored me literally. That time though thank god there was no more evil panels that followed it... but this time was a nigthmare.