AnimeSuki Forum - Speedy's writing project; A California Love Song

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City Of Redline Nights:

*link no longer exists anyways...*

Speedy's writing project; A California Love Song

I been writing stuff for a good while now, but they were generally awful quality because I tended to base them a lot on Japanese fan translations of light novels. So I decided to start over (AGAIN), and by not using fan translations as a base for stuff, hopefully this will work out a lot better than my last LN.

My "new story" isn't really new, honestly; it's a rewrite of my old novel Shadows Of Roses, with a much higher emphasis on plot rather than on randomness and switching POVs every 5 seconds.

Anyways, on with the story...

Short Summary;

Spoiler for heh.:

Editor's note; this story will be rated R due to a lot of adult situations and profanity, but they won't be the majority of the story, I promise.

The setting is San Francisco, California, tho keep in mind this does include the metro area (suburbs like Oakland and Fremont) and there will be sections/flashbacks that take place elsewhere.

Also, yes, a lot of this novel is based on real life, and some of it on my online life (there's a few AS users/IRC guys in there when the IRC chat comes up, yeah.)

I might release one chapter a week, but don't count 100% on it. Note; I also publish this story on FictionPress.

Links to chapters;
================================================== ===================================
Prologue; http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...95#post4407395
Chapter 1, Part 1; http://forums.animesuki.com/showthre...03#post4426503

Prologue;

Spoiler for story:

Chapter 1, Part 1 (sorry for late update, personal troubles)

Spoiler for story:

Kinda needed something else to write to get over my writers' block, so I started another "prologue" which reveals more details of the story.

Spoiler for Another Prologue (...kinda):

Still seems a lot like a sketch/outline where you're just trying to get ideas onto a blank page (in other words, it looks a lot like some of my early "sticky note" barrages when trying to decide how a chapter should go).

As a prologue, it lacks any introductory description of characters (what they look like, etc) or a setup on why any of this matters. They seem to spend a lot of time worrying about what type of car, we don't know why he was supposed to meet her on top of a building (to jump together? what?). What is she to him? If he knew she was thinking of jumping he seemed remarkably unconcerned?

It might work better as a flashback after the reader knows the information? Please don't take this badly ... I'm just marking where I think it needs clarification, explanation, or expansion. I'm looking at my latest three chapters with a really jaundiced eye today (returns to chainsaw and mallet whacking of my own text).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vexx (Post 4460951)

Honestly, yeah, you have a point; I just randomly wrote it to kinda get over "writers block" for a bit. I probably will insert this chapter into the story sometime later when the characters are a bit more...developed.

Ugh, I need to get my mind off of things for a while...

yeah, I should post one of my early drafts where I'm just throwing ideas down randomly to see what sticks just to demonstrate what my addled brain does when its flailing around trying to create a chapter. Sometimes I'm not even sure whose POV I should relate the events from at first.

I like the sprinkling of comedy you threw in.

I see a few grammatical errors, but I find this prologue to be much more interesting than the last. :) I found the part of the previous prologue with the little girl to be confusing. I didn't understand the part where it described her tears as "made of water and blood combined." Was she injured, or was that just description?

Just to make sure, I have to ask. This is the all the same story, right? Also, about how often do you write?

yeah, I should post one of my early drafts where I'm just throwing ideas down randomly to see what sticks just to do it.http://www.oldjoy.info/jiechiok/images/5.gif

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vexx (Post 4461500)

I'm probably gonna experiment with this for a while...my ADD-riddled brain can't come up with any decent ideas.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kerspunkle (Post 4462249)

Eh, I don't really write too often (I just do it as a random hobby), and yes, tho I'm thinking of altering it somewhat...

Here's some snippets of one of my "white boards" where I'm just throwing things down. You'll see some stuff I used, some stuff I dropped, re-arranged, etc. I deleted any spoilers from my story.

Its kind of like text snippets as Legos, arrange, assemble, re-arrange, change parts. (yeah, ADD-wired here as well)
Dynamic tag cannot be rendered. (PrintableThread)

Started another project, only this time it's a movie script and a parody for lulz.

Link's in my sig (the rest of it is on my pastebin profile.)

Ugh, this is old. But anyways, here's some Madoka scripts. Lowest level of writing, but I kinda lack inspiration and time right now.

http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...&postcount=296
http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...&postcount=299

Tch...Could be worse. But do you have Fanfiction.net account?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireminer (Post 4991694)

Tch...Could be worse. But do you have Fanfiction.net account?

Yes, but Fanfiction.net does not allow publication of scripts. I usually just publish via DeviantArt.