Very, very, very random song!!!!! :D.
Your lyrics aren't bad. But they don't really fit the description of the song. Try a ryhme like:
who do you think you are
running around leaving a scar
collecting everyone's heart
and tearing love apart

Do you understand what I mean?? Like two lines ryhme.

Yeah i could do that but thats basic rap like most artists, Metaphors and complex word rhyming is the way forward

So you're an advanced rapper. So like figurative language.

Im not advanced but i wish to be, You should sing a chorus and i will rap, Now that would be awesome lol, Im gonna draw my picture tomorrow and scan it so you can see how it come out when all my family/kids were round

Sounds petty awesome!!!! :D.

Hey Bradley,

I'm a music producer/singer-songwriter and not to toot my own horn but I'm a pretty talented lyricist. My strongest background is in creative writing, not music, so lyrics are definitely my strong point. I also have listened to TONS of hip-hop, so I know what makes a good verse and I also know what makes hip-hop sound cheap and generic.

Simply put, if you want to send me a beat plus some basic info on song structure, I could write you some great lyrics. All I would be looking for would be credit not any kind of money. If you are interested, please PM me that information as well as a demo tape of you rapping.

I am alway interested in collaborating with talented artists.

Simon

P.S. About your problems I can't offer much advice. I have slept with dozens of women and have more friends than I can keep up with, but I'm still mostly a hermit of my own choosing. That's because after having experienced all that social life has to offer I've come to the conclusion that I just don't like hanging out with people very much. I'd rather be by myself most of the time.

And in my experience sex/relationships are really not worth the world of trouble that comes along with them. Not only that but after sleeping with a fair number of women I can honestly say that 90% of the time masturbation is better. If it is love that you are looking for, well maybe you are the lucky minority that can actually find someone who will love you unconditionally.

My experience is that love always comes with depressing and self-centered conditions and that being in "love" with somebody is usually a soul-crushing experience more than a happy one. But it's easier to say all these things having had the experiences. I remember well the overwhelming urge to lose my virginity and it is not fun but in retrospect I realize that sex is just not as big of a deal as I wanted it to be.

The only advice I can offer you is to develop your self as an individual. Women will only be attracted to you if you make yourself attractive. I see that you are a decent height and have a well-developed physique. That will undoubtedly help you loads in finding a girlfriend. In fact, I would utilize your good physical shape to help you meet women.

There are a lot of ways to do this but here are a few ideas:

1. Start going to co-ed sports classes. Good examples of sports that women tend to like are: Yoga, Cycling, Running, Swimming, Kickboxing/MMA (not boxing so much), Rock Climbing, Tennis and I'm sure there are more.

2. Join a co-ed sports team that plays in a league. This should be obvious.

3. Become competitive at an amateur or professional level. If you became started to win triathlons or prize fights, women will notice you.

(All of the above are ALSO good ways to make male friends.

Cheers for the reply Simon, Maybe ill hit you up with a rap verse see what you think.

Im gonna take up some form of sport but I'm unsure what one yet, As for women yeah i know it does kinda suck, But to experience love is all i want.