AnimeSuki.com Forum

AnimeSuki Forum (http://forums.animesuki.com/index.php)
-   General Chat (http://forums.animesuki.com/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (http://forums.animesuki.com/showthread.php?t=117943)

frivolity 2013-02-17 08:38

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
 
According to this book, introverts "have a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating environment", whereby they gain energy through being alone in self-reflection, while extroverts "are energized by social situations and tend to be assertive multi-taskers who think out loud and on their feet".

So are you an introvert or extrovert, and are your interactions mostly with introverts or extroverts?

Akuma Kinomoto 2013-02-17 12:08

ISTJ. I overthink a lot and I often can't come up with things on the fly.

LoweGear 2013-02-17 13:22

100% true introvert here. I often seek out quiet places with few people so I can be left alone to my thoughts, and I don't often interact with people all that often.

Most of my interactions are over the net in forums and chatrooms because there's less pressure in how fast you need to respond, and therefore you can contemplate your reply as much as you need to.

DonQuigleone 2013-02-17 13:30

I'm in the middle. I enjoy socializing, but I also like to spend a lot of time alone.

Depending on my mood, I'm either a ENTP or INTP.

Kudryavka 2013-02-17 13:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by frivolity (Post 4557574)
According to this book, introverts "have a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating environment", whereby they gain energy through being alone in self-reflection, while extroverts "are energized by social situations and tend to be assertive multi-taskers who think out loud and on their feet".

So are you an introvert or extrovert, and are your interactions mostly with introverts or extroverts?

Hm, "gain energy"? That's a really interesting thing to think about! :)

But I do wonder, is our world really "overrun" by extroverts? Are there really so many more extroverts than introverts, or is the ratio actually much closer to a natural 50/50?

MUAHAHAHAHAHA 2013-02-17 13:44

It depends. I can't say I belong to either end of the continuum. To my friends, I definitely seem like an extrovert, but that's cause I am comfortable with them. To acquaintance and strangers, I may seem like an introvert.

With friends, I mix more with introverts, because I could monopolize them and it feeds my ego as well as raising my confidence, which is why most of them perceive me as outspoken and assertive, when in reality I don't think I am. With acquaintance and strangers, I force myself to mix more with extroverts, cause I don't have the confidence of keeping the conversation alive, and I figure if their confidence and talkativeness are infectious, I might in time open up and start to be more extrovert when interacting with them. Another reason why I prefer to be quiet is because I like to study people that I have just met. I find it fascinating to observe their mannerism and drawing conclusions from my observations. From this, I decide next how I should interact with them.

I guess the reason why I am both an extrovert and an introvert is because there are two persons living within me; the self that I present to the public, and the self that I keep to myself.

NorthernFallout 2013-02-17 13:46

INFJ. Like Don, I enjoy socializing, except it can't be too long or in a "disruptive" environment (read: bar, concert, etc.) I prefer alone time, or in a very small group (except online ofc). I'm also a pretty slow thinker and need a lot of thought before expressing myself, unless I want to make mistakes.

Everything in the link is pretty much down to a tee when it comes to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kudryavka (Post 4557890)
But I do wonder, is our world really "overrun" by extroverts? Are there really so many more extroverts than introverts, or is the ratio actually much closer to a natural 50/50?

I think it's actually a pretty close ratio, except the extroverts are more commonly seen, since they are extroverts (and hence taking up more "space"). Some of them might even be introverts, but are seen as extroverts as they hide it or are just another type.

Shyni 2013-02-17 14:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kudryavka (Post 4557890)
But I do wonder, is our world really "overrun" by extroverts? Are there really so many more extroverts than introverts, or is the ratio actually much closer to a natural 50/50?

It might just be that extroverts are easier to notice, rather than more numerous in number, like NorthernFallout said.

Archon_Wing 2013-02-17 14:15

While it is understandable that human interaction is needed to work a society, I would say that western society places too much of an obsession in being an extrovert and by extension that overly assertive expressive individualism that gets taken way too far around here. The result is a disproportionate emphasis on double speak, small wasteful talk, and general self centered douchebaggery. People throw ridiculous tantrums in public to "stand up for themselves" And then they have the nerve to put everyone that doesn't want to participate in this farce to be broken and part of some disorder spectrum just because others would feel more comfortable. Yes, I should tell you to have a nice day, while in reality I probably hope you should disappear to a location where you can't annoy me.

In the end, I am an introvert. However, I can pull up the other act fairly accurately when coming across people I have a use of so I don't get diagnosed with anything. But this is not me. This is just what I've been taught to do. For most other people besides friends and family, I usually have nothing to say to them.

Triple_R 2013-02-17 14:26

I'm usually not into small talk. I can enjoy a little bit of joking around, but not a lot. I tend to dislike being in large crowded areas (although that's partly since it sometimes sets off my claustrophobia). My favorite real life conversations are "1-on-1" or as part of small group in a comfortable dining room/living room.

A lot of my favorite past times are private - Playing PC games, playing video games, writing fanfics, watching anime. These are all things I do primarily in private. I definitely appreciate quiet, private time.

All of the above being said, I've been in a few leadership positions before, and I'm generally Ok working with others. I just highly value independence and freedom in my spare time. I'd probably go crazy if I had to compete in something like Survivor. :heh:

So, on the whole, I'm fairly introverted.


Extroverts tend to run the world because we're an increasingly interconnected society where "social media" is now all the rage. Leaders are expected to be "transparent" and "accessible", and "modern" in these two ways. This can be very challenging for an introvert. There's a time I actually considered a life in politics, but definitely not now.

The benefit of being an introvert is that you're less likely to get caught up in the mob, or in the latest trend/fad. On the flipside, though, you can sometimes get left out a bit for much the same reason.

Kaijo 2013-02-17 14:32

I am just gonna link this article: Caring For Your Introvert.

One of the things the article points out, is that while introverts can understand extroverts, the reverse isn't usually true. Extroverts have a really hard time understanding introverts. And since we live in an extrovert world, we end up with a minority maligned sub group, who becomes disenchanted from society.

Introverts are probably THE most misunderstood, and discriminated-against sub-group out there.

Edit: I am also an introvert, preferring quiet times alone mostly, or occasional conversation over IMs, e-mail, texts, etc. Places where I can respond or not, or at least take my time in crafting a reply. Being around too many people, or talking to a group of people, really is draining. I find myself wanting to go and be by myself again.

SaintessHeart 2013-02-17 15:17

INTJ. I can be an extrovert when I am amongst introverts - resulting in nerd discussions that bore the heck of extroverted people.

I don't like small talk, but I do enjoy making conversations and arguments go down the really ridiculous path by pumping in random facts and ideas - the only way to make introverted people talk and keep the extroverts quiet because introverts simply cannot resist the urge to question and think about whatever is said.

Introverts tend to be the read/write types, while extroverts tend to be the listen/speak types. They communicate in entirely different forms, so it is completely wrong to say that introverts are quiet people.

Don't believe me? Post a set of image tags containing lolis and well-endowed bishoujos here, and watch a fight break out. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Triple_R (Post 4557936)
All of the above being said, I've been in a few leadership positions before, and I'm generally Ok working with others. I just highly value independence and freedom in my spare time. I'd probably go crazy if I had to compete in something like Survivor. :heh:

Actually introverts do better in RL Survivor scenarios. Their ability to sit still and pick off things one by one makes them incredibly good snipers and reconnaissance - they can live without being around people.

LeoXiao 2013-02-17 17:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernFallout (Post 4557901)
INFJ. Like Don, I enjoy socializing, except it can't be too long or in a "disruptive" environment (read: bar, concert, etc.) I prefer alone time, or in a very small group (except online ofc). I'm also a pretty slow thinker and need a lot of thought before expressing myself, unless I want to make mistakes.

Wow, I'm an INFJ too (last I checked) and that description fits me rather well.

Although I don't really know if I'd categorize myself as introverted. I can be really talkative and engaging depending on the situation, even if it's not how I am usually. I feel like if I was raised differently I could easily act more extroverted.

Metaler 2013-02-17 17:45

I guess you could say that I'm mostly an introvert. I get more tired when I'm in crowded places or social situations, and I usually just keep to myself. Though that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy interacting with others; Simply put, you're more likely to see me enjoying myself with a small group of friends in a familiar place, be it my/their house or a bar we always go to.

Now that I think it about it, that's probably the reason why I never go to cons, haha. I end up getting too tired when I'm in such a place packed with people, so I end up not being able to enjoy myself.

Still, though, "introvert" is just a sign, a fragment of our personalities. No one is a complete introvert, I think.

NoemiChan 2013-02-17 17:48

I'm introvert when alone and extrovert when with people.... People mistaken me being a serious person... not until the second month.....

NorthernFallout 2013-02-17 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeoXiao (Post 4558065)
Although I don't really know if I'd categorize myself as introverted. I can be really talkative and engaging depending on the situation, even if it's not how I am usually. I feel like if I was raised differently I could easily act more extroverted.

A simple distinction often used is that if you need time alone to "recharge" yourself (like I do), then you're an Introvert. If you are Extro, you gain energy by socializing. You can be extremely talkative and socialized as a Intro (god knows I am if the topic is right), but you will need time to recuperate until the next time it happens. So, for example, if I'm at an event or gathering for a day or more, I won't do it again for the rest of the month if I can help it.

Terrestrial Dream 2013-02-17 18:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metaler (Post 4558111)
I guess you could say that I'm mostly an introvert. I get more tired when I'm in crowded places or social situations, and I usually just keep to myself. Though that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy interacting with others; Simply put, you're more likely to see me enjoying myself with a small group of friends in a familiar place, be it my/their house or a bar we always go to.

Now that I think it about it, that's probably the reason why I never go to cons, haha. I end up getting too tired when I'm in such a place packed with people, so I end up not being able to enjoy myself.

Still, though, "introvert" is just a sign, a fragment of our personalities. No one is a complete introvert, I think.

Similar situation with me as well, going to bar or party is just not very fun and tiring, instead I just like to relax with friends. But when I am with people I am familiar I become very talkative.

Also, video links to the author of the book talking
Dynamic tag cannot be rendered. (PrintableThread)

NorthernFallout 2013-02-17 18:27

This is why I'm glad I found new friends on EVE. In my old circle, getting together to watch a movie and just talk is "boring and uncool" nowadays, so it's all about parties and SCREAMING A LOT. EVE mates, not so much. Dinner and talking shit all night? So much better.

DonQuigleone 2013-02-17 18:28

Something to bear in mind: Being introverted doesn't necessarily mean you're shy, and being extroverted doesn't mean you're free from social anxiety. It's more to do with how you relate to the world around you. Generally being introverted means you're inward looking, being extroverted means you're outward looking. Both can enjoy socializing, but an extrovert enjoys socializing for the sake of socializing, whereas for an introvert it's usually more of a means to an end.

It has subtle effects on behavior as well. I heard that if you're at a party, the introverts will tend to be at the edge of the room, and the extroverts at the center.

Another thing to bear in mind is that introversion/extroversion is a spectrum, and most people are close to the center. No one is "perfectly" extroverted of introverted. Extroverts enjoy the occasional bout of quiet contemplation, and introverts often enjoy connecting with new people.

Archon_Wing 2013-02-17 18:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaijo (Post 4557943)
I am just gonna link this article: Caring For Your Introvert.

One of the things the article points out, is that while introverts can understand extroverts, the reverse isn't usually true. Extroverts have a really hard time understanding introverts. And since we live in an extrovert world, we end up with a minority maligned sub group, who becomes disenchanted from society.

Yea it would seem that many believe that everyone's minds work alike and that some methods of expression would work for everyone. Well, f that. >.>


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:46.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.