[FieryAeon]

Well I haven't really been getting as much feedback as I would've liked but here's my 2nd OC.

Spoiler for spoiler for lots of text :S:

Basic Details
Name: Jean Sneijder
Gender: Female
Birthday: 17 September
Home World: Hotarus (Administrated world 312)
Age: 17 (MC 078)

Physical Attributes
Height: 165
Weight: 54 kilos
Eye colour: Blue
Hair colour: Blond

Mage information
Rank: 1st Private
Affiliations: Time-space Administration Bureau, air force
Combat type: melee/short range
Position: Front Attacker
Magic system: Neo-Belka type
Official Mage Rank: Air A
Colour of spell sigils: Red
Specialization: Close range sword fighter
Rare Skill: Mana Conversion Affinity (Fire)
Usual garb/wear: TSAB air force armed corps' uniform

Description: Jean has blond hair reaching her waist, and has deep blue eyes. She’s always appears calm and demure but is more relax and open around close friends.

Spoiler for [B]Appearance[/B]:

History: Born on the Non-administrated planet, Hotarus. Almost identical in technological and magical aspects when compared to Mid-childan planets, Hotarus is a planet that has been embroiled in war between the government and a rebellious faction for years.

A child of an influential family within the government, Jean lived in a period where civil war prevailed. It had degraded to a point where the rebellious faction would stoop to not just guerrilla warfare, but plain terrorism. It was on one occasion that one particular group raided a private school for the children of royalty and certain political leaders, seized the building, and took everyone inside hostage. Their demands were the release of key leaders of the rebellious faction, caught during another raid from the government.

The government made a bargain with the TSAB, in return for ending the war and rescuing the hostages, they agreed to submit themselves to TSAB’s administration. It was the most effective way to curb the excessive corruption that certain government officials were involved in. It was the main reason behind the rebellion, as corrupted officials splurge on the taxes of the people and generally treated the populace poorly. It was also seen as the solution that would lead their world to peace.

The incident will come to be a horrible experience that the surviving hostages will remember for the rest of their lives. Every hour one of them would be chosen and executed in public, regardless if they were children, until the rebels had their demands met. Two squads of Air Force mages were brought in to help with the hostage situation. The then Sergeant Itsuki was part of the 1039th air force squad that was one of the two teams that participated in the secure and rescue mission. The mission was to eliminate the rebels within systematically as quickly as possible without alerting the whole rebel group of the rescue attempt; then subsequently they were to secure the hostages and evacuate them to the TSAB navy ship that was stationed in the atmosphere of the planet itself before returning them to their respective families.

The situation was swiftly brought to a close with the introduction of the Air Force mages, which also included snipers Vice and Smith of the LineBacker's duo. As Itsuki approach Jean to secure and evacuate her along with the rest of the hostages, the relieved young girl cried as all the bottled up fear and tension found release. She knew she had been saved from a terrible fate, all thanks to the TSAB's intervention.

Months after that case, the TSAB extended a free for all invitation to the citizens of Hotarus with the interest to attend their schools and magic academies, something that had been lacking for their general populace due to the civil war. Jean, who has great magical potential, decided to enlist with the TSAB’s air force academy at Central. She wanted to have the power to save and protect others, as well as to find the young man that led that small covert ops team that saved the hostages that day, who young as she was then, saw as a hero. She wanted to thank him properly, as she didn’t manage to do that on that fateful day, passing out from mental exhaustion. It was a chance to do just that and to explore a whole new world.

She officially enlisted with the TSAB armed corps and attended an air force academy at the age of 10. Graduating at the age of 12, Jean has always been considered as highly talented. She uses modern Belka style magic, and wields a two-handed sword equipped with the cartridge system. After graduating she was assigned to the same unit Itsuki was in, an unexpected reunion with the one who she saw as a symbol of the military organization that saved her life.

Personality/Habits and behaviour/Hobbies: Well mannered, cheery, and has an unexpectedly strong sense of justice. She tends to use formal forms of speech of most of the time. With friends, she's a lot more open and informal. Though brought up in a rich and prestigious family, she is not arrogant or boastful; but is in fact kind, honest to a fault, and is brave when confronted with combat despite being female.

She's a bit naive and gullible, which many warn might become her downfall. However, she has yet to let her naivete affect her efficiency in missions so nobody has yet to get around to talking to her about it.

Likes to fly up to the top branches and sit there, a habit Sylvia has been trying to break her out of due to the number of perverts on base that love to look up skirts. She also shares Itsuki's love for reading, a habit she cultivated from a young age also. But she's more inclined to read romance novels or magazines, rather than the fantasy and comics that Itsuki prefers.
She makes up weird nicknames for people sometimes, openly using them with people she’s friendlier with. Though the weird thing is that often the nicknames don't make sense or are in any way related to the person it's assigned to, in fact they're often rather lamely named such as "bacon" or "camel-head". As examples, she fondly calls Sylvia as "Strawberry pie" and Itsuki "Lazy bum".

Fighting style: Strong despite her size due to training, Jean uses her sword with great proficiency in combat. Signum often gave her tips on improving her swordsmanship before Signum transferred to Riot Force 6.

Despite how she looks, she can be aggressive in combat, and does not relent till the enemy either surrenders or is defeated. Her style of combat is pretty simple and straightforward, something that more experienced opponents will catch unto. Still, she's never alone as she's always with Sylvia, and they back each other up in combat.


Preferring to get up close, Jean specializes in close range combat due to her device being a sword. If opponents go out of the range of her sword, she can use beam slashes or generate a wave of flames to pursue her enemies.

Though her official mage rank is low, she has high mana capacity and magical prowess, with her power level at 1,009,784 units. As such, one of her favourite defensive spells include immediately converting a large amount of mana and expend it outwards as if her whole being erupted with flames, effectively damaging and preventing enemies from coming into range from angles and positions that she will not be able to react to in time.


Barrier Jacket: Refer to profile picture.

Device: Griever
Jean’s armed device, Griever is a two-handed single edge sword. Jean can use it to sling energy blade-like discharges, and area effect flame wave.

Storage mode:
Using the most practical form there is, Griever’s storage form is a silver pendant of what looks like the head of a lion from the side. The phrase “set-up” activates the device.

Device mode:
5 feet in length with a width 5 inches, it is a single-edge blade with one-foot long hilt with good grip and no cross guard. The cartridge component is built at the back of the blade, as is common with most sword type armed devices, and is a revolver styled one, similar to that used in Bardiche. The blade is only slightly over an inch thick; therefore the device isn’t really all that heavy. However the blade’s length is still significantly quite long for her size and so she can’t swing it as fast as she would be able to with other sword based devices like Laevatine.


Model: Griever, gun-blade of Squall from FF8, Kingdom Hearts

Spoiler for Spell list:

Offensive spells:
Flame Wave: A wave of flame is created and sweeps out in an arc according to that of Griever’s swing. The wave generates a lot of heat and smoke, making it a good cover for follow up attacks.
Attack: A
Speed: B-
Range: arc of sword swing and half a man’s height, as far as 10 metres
Cartridge consumed: 1

Blade Beam: A beam is generated from a swing of Griever that moves in a linear direction but fast enough to cause trouble for opponents who don’t get out of its way quick enough.

Attack: C
Speed: A+
Range: C+

Furious Eruption: Flames flare up momentarily covering and protecting Jean. A useful spell to force enemies who managed to get in from an angle where she cannot retaliate with her sword, a sort of protective spell with offensive properties.

Attack: B
Radius: 1.5 meters

Flame Burst: Jean powers up her sword with the elemental power of fire to enhance a single sword strike with more destructive power.

Attack: B (A+ if cartridge used)
Range: Melee
Cartridge used: 1 (optional)Duration: 4 minutes (additional 3 minutes with every cartridge used)


(The following spells are borrowed from Lowe)

Spoiler for ”Impulse spells”:

Force -

In martial combat, one requires physical strength and power to deliver the energy required for impact. The most basic spell for many Neo-Belkan practitioners, and also the easiest to learn, is the “Force” spell, which is a basic spell to externally enhance the wielder’s physical strength. This is achieved using a combination of external levitation (and in some cases, Midchilda-style Barrel Rings), which provide additional aid and support on a mage’s arms or legs. This grants a mage extra physical power in lifting heavy weapons, or further enhancing the power behind a strike.


Blast –

Another basic Neo-Belkan spell, “Blast” is a “static kinetic energy” spell applied at a weapon’s impact point, which multiplies the kinetic energy behind a physical blow without the requirement of adding extra momentum or mass. In combat this significantly improves the damage potential of a normally kinetically weak blow, like a punch.

Although the advantages are considerable, the Blast spell creates significant kinetic energy backlash at the item it is used on, whether a weapon or the mage itself. For this reason, application of this spell is most ideal on sturdy, blunt and dense objects with a large surface area on the impact point, like mallets, clubs and hammers, to better absorb and dissipate the backlash. Impact dissipation spells can also be applied to further reduce the backlash’s negative effects.

Sword –

The third of the basic spells, “Sword” is a “focus energy” spell, which enhances a cutting blade or piercing head by reinforcing the material integrity of the cutting area, and also by absorbing kinetic energy on impact and focusing it on the cutting edge. A blade enhanced by this spell can cut through extra-hard and reinforced objects with minimal effort, and this spell can be further enhanced by Force for improved results.

Defensive spells:
Protection: As a front attacker, Jean needs to be able to shield herself from enemy attacks well with minimal support. This is a barrier spell that can even auto-cast whenever hostile attacks enter within a certain range. It can also be cast on allies or non-combatants during certain disaster or rescue operations.

Strength: A+
Radius: 2.5 metres

Knight’s Shield: Jean’s shield spell that helps block frontal attacks that can’t be blocked otherwise with Griever.

Strength: A+

Support/Boost/Mobility Spells:
Flight: Needing lots of room to maneuver her sword, aerial combat became her preference, and Jean spends much of her personal training time on aerial combat simulations and how to increase her mobility and maneuverability in the air.


Skill level: A+

Ok, not exactly the most original but I don't want to stray too far from what's accepted. I realize that there's a lot of work to be done with my OCs and I'll make any changes where necessary. However I can't do this without feedback.

I know I'm new here and all, but I feel kind of left out really. =|

Anyway the device is probably the most unoriginal part there is. But when I thought of the device of my OC, I kept thinking and was looking around and it just hit me that a sword with a revolver in it (for the cartridge system) just had to be a gunblade. It just fits perfectly I guess.

Of course I think a little bit of adjustment is in order, so the original Griever is only a model. But basically that's what I'm looking at, except it being a straight hilt and minus the gun trigger.

Now I shall once again...*pochitto* *cowers in fear after clicking on submit button*

Update (10 April 2008): Tweak history and personality quite a bit. Also implemented Lowe's Impulse spells, IMO let's just say every Belka mage knows Impulse spells from now on.