[Saint X]

Well just a trial snippet to Escape from Ground Central

need initial evaluation please...

Spoiler for Escape from Ground Central: Chapter 1 Snippet:

September 8, MCY 0075
TSAB Academy, Irius Plateau, North Midchilda
Room of Graduate Class 1 of Batch '75.

It's a perfectly normal day for one of the ten graduate classes of the Bureau Academy. As part of deciding their future placements, the month of September onwards was dedicated to expose graduate cadets to the various Branches of the Bureau, mainly Ground, Air and Navy- as well as some major and minor groups willing to take in new faces. In fact, just the day before, a rather important guest had arrived and staged a lecture to the ten graduating classes.

"Hey, hey hey... have you guys submitted your application forms from the lecture yesterday?" one person in the room asked another.
"What application form yesterday?"
"Ah! i forgot that you were not here yesterday Hanei. As you see..."
Someone in the room sighs, attracting the attention of the camera to a girl with black eyes, black hair that is tied in a ponytail head weighing heavily on the pair of arms that was supporting it- a definite sign of boredom.
"How about you Eika?" the absent asked said bored person.
"Me?" said bored person asked in return.

Eika Ichiryu, Female, Age fifteen, Alignment Midchildan, Home Domicile Earth, Country of Japan, already serving in the military as a test pilot before being hand picked and enrolled in the academy by unknown entities... Lightning Attuned, device is a standard training staff. Also has the nickname "Sparky" for having the attitude of a lightning bolt- sudden bursts of anger... Please exercise caution when trying to strike up a conversation, as she is aloof but will intimidate you with a single stare. Probable Tsunderekko.

"Yes you Ichiryu..." Said absent girl replied.

Hanei Keisha, Female, Age sixteen, Midchildan in both alignment and domicile, hails from the nearby town of Schelvaltz, second honor in her junior high before enrolling. Neutral Attunement as of this time, device is a standard training staff. Also one of the class's two "onee-sans" due to age- but she exhibits extreme lack of onee-san qualities. Please exercise moderation in chat, as she can go on and on and on and on. Probable Dojikko.

"Yes..." the first person asked as well. "You seemed a bit focused on the lecture previously... not to mention that the person who came is the rumored 'Gray Admiral'..."

Yu Farandole, Female, Age fifteen, Alignment Midchildan, Home Domicile A.W. 24 Ritarida, once named Dunce in her school but excelled in the academy, current No. 3 in the Academy Rankings. Neutral Alignment, device is a standard training staff. Also called "Miss Library" for her immense knowledge by others, admired by the Freshmen, who often pass love letters. Please be ready to receive intense lectures as this is her normal way of speaking. Confirmed Bookworm and Nerd.

"Oh her?" Eika replied, further sighing. "Well I was interested, since she did mention about other places beyond Midchilda itself..."
"Well, since you're from an outer world, that will pique your interest." Hanei replied. "Well not poking too much, what is your world like?"
"Well..." a new voice came in, making the two natives look at the source, a girl with grayish-boyish hair and brown eyes. "It's really like Midchilda... but with more reliance on technology and zero magic."
"Zero Magic?!!"
"Yes... zero magic." the gray-haired newcomer replied.

Karen Itsumiya, Female, Age Fifteen, Alignment Midchildan, Home Domicile Earth, Country of Japan, already an Nanoengineering Junior in Tokyo University before her thesis was suddenly canceled, dean giving her a passing in her semester and was assigned to the same people that picked Eika up. Wind Attuned, device is a standard training staff. Also called "Miss Library" for her immense knowledge by others, admired by the Sophomores and Juniors, who often pass love letters. Please exercise caution in approaching her when you're a male, she is extremely shy and will run away from any male she stares for more than three seconds- thus making any confession impossible. Possibly with a split personality.

"That seems hard to imagine, right Yu?" Hanei asked.
"Hmm..." Yu hummed. "Well that seems a bit nice- though impractical..."

*runs*

*spots something*

*runs back*

Originally Posted by Ryand-Smith

Saint X

Spoiler for WIP: Escape from Ground Central:

Story Sniped

I do not like the metarefrences. Please, do not put (info like this) in the story, it feels bizarre reading a narrative that speaks to the reader, as that storytelling method works best on the screen, and not as a printed work. 3000 Gadgets, and a number, with AMF? That approaches low level hax, unless you approach it the same way 7arcs did with the Tia vs the Numbers battle, and always have a feel for offhandedness. This feels more like a high school comedy set in a serious situation.

I have a sudden itch to use Virtue-tan on you...


But Tiera's using it so i'm stuck with my IDS...

What kind of info?

That for the record is a preview for a WIP... and a possible line to say...

It's just my style...

Well a lot of people get confused at my style, but if you look at it closer and give it a little more imaginative action- then you will know.

And there are other people in the building... not just the Lead and shis band of classmages...

this is for a possible Rebuilt integration.

and the magic style is non-descript- so it's resistant to AMF- which only (in canon that is) affects Mid and Velka- there are still 798+ other magic forms- and there is that possibility that at least 1 is resistant to AMF.

I'll have my Dei-Type Magic canon up in a few days... be sure to take down notes in the lecture.