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Old 2008-09-02, 08:10   Link #3
ZippyDSM
Incoherance is my friend!
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
ZippyDSM will become famous soon enough
My fevered and funky bwain over the last few days have been working on Damion Crevasse lyrics here's the near final lyrics for them, the main thing I did was change the focus of the song from the direct lyric theme of all encompassing/altruistic love to where the the singer is dieing, I was trying for a direct one but the muses took it of in a sad love song direction first, I may yet can do a more direct version but this is somehow fitting all things considered.

I still need to polish this up and format it better, by each of my lyric sentences(ya I know not grammatical correct :P) I put one word comment in ()

YT video for the song if you don't have it on hand.


Quote:
When I was so very-------- much in----------love with you(good)
kami-sama ni-------------------koi wo-------------shiteta koro wa

-----------------------
I didn’t think that such------a parting would have to come to pass like this(good)
konna wakare ga----------------kuru towa omottenakatta yo

---------------------
Then I would want you to-------------embrace me again for--------one last time(good)
semete saigo ni-----------------------------mou ichido dakishimete---- hoshikatta yo
----------------

It’s long long good-bye…
----------------
Sayonara, sayonara-----------as much as it takes(good)
sayonara sayonara------------nando datte

--------------------it appers this one I am still working on lol---------
My shivering hands are------signs of gentleness right?-zip
My shivering hands are----- a sign of gentleness right?-zip
Waving my hand is----------- a sign of kindness? Ya….. –zip
te wo furu nowa----------------yasashisa dayo ne?

---------------------
Now I long--------for------strength
ima tsuyosa-------ga-------hoshii

--------------this could change but the top one seems best.--------------------
I encountered you,---the stars shined brightly,------------and I was reborn(best)
I encountered you,---then the stars shined,-----------------and I was reborn
I encountered you,---then the stars shined,-----------------and then I was reborn
anata ni deai------------STAR kagayaite---------------------------atashi ga umarete
----------------------------------

---------------------------in order to drive the theme the 2d is the best
Indeed if there is love,-----therefore I exist
Indeed if there is love,---- therefore I still exist (best)
aisureba koso-------------------I areba koso

--------------------------
What will happen---------to me waiting on a---------hopeless miracle?(good)
kibou no nai-----------------kiseki wo matte-------------dou naru no?

------------------------------------------
Through our tear stained vision-------the worlds twinkle is long,------gone(good)
namida ni nijimu--------------------------------hoshi no matataki-------------------wa gone...

------------------------------------------
I will never forget---------your soft gentle warmth(ok)
wasurenai yo----------------anata no nukumori mo

---------------------------------------
or your kindness--and----your gentle hands that surrounded----everything
sono yasashisa---mo-------subete tsutsunde kureta------------------ryoute mo

----------------
It's long long good-bye...
----------------

Sayonara, sayonara, oh beloved one(good)
sayonara sayonara itoshii hito

-----------------
If you were not------here with me---------I wouldn’t be right here now(best)
If you were not------here with me----------I could have never got this far(best)
anata ga----------------ita kara-------------------aruite koreta

-------------------
I was never really---------------alone was I,-----------right?-zip
hitori nanka------------------------jyanakatta yo--------- ne?

---------------------
Now I long------------- for answers -zip
ima kotae---------------ga hoshii

----------------------
Catch a falling star-----and set it ablaze with---my dying love and hope(great)
moeru you na--------------ryuusei tsukamaete------hi wo tomoshite

--------------------
I still want to love,--------I still want to be loved(good)
aishiteitai----------------------aisaretetai

-------------------
What good is one more-------cold and frozen body,------------to this world
hieta karada-------------------------hitotsu de sekai wa--------------dou naru no?

----------------------
I so long for when these----silly games we play end,------so long for.(great for the word play)
haritsudzuketeta-----------------kyosei ga toketeku---------------long for...

--------------------------
What’s wrong with me now?------I can’t stop these falling tears-----from overflowing.
doushite nano?----------------------------namida afurete---------------------------tomerarenai

--------------this could change but the top one seems best.--------------------
I encountered you,---the stars shined brightly,------------and I was reborn(best)
I encountered you,---then the stars shined,-----------------and I was reborn
I encountered you,---then the stars shined,-----------------and then I was reborn
anata ni deai------------STAR kagayaite---------------------------atashi ga umarete

----------------------------------
Indeed if there is love,------therefore I once existed(great!it had to be don!)
aisureba koso--------------------i areba koso

--------------------------
What will happen---------to me waiting on a---------hopeless miracle?(good)
kibou no nai-----------------kiseki wo matte-------------dou naru no?

------------------------------------------
Through our tear stained vision-------the worlds twinkle is long,------gone(good)
namida ni nijimu--------------------------------hoshi no matataki-------------------wa gone...

------------------------------------------
If we are reincarnated and meet again one day so far away(ok to great)
moshi umarekawatte mata meguriaeru nara

------------------------
Surely you’ll find me and----------hold onto me very tightly(great)
sono toki mo kitto--------------------atashi wo mitsukedashite

-----------------------
and make sure to-------never let go of me ever again(good)
mou nido to---------------hanasanaide tsukamaetete
-----------------

----------------this one annoys me some, but there's lil I can do with it
I want you to whisper------------you are not alone on this planet.(ok)
hitori jyanai to----------------------- sasayaite hoshii-------------planet...
Spoiler for Word play work file for it.:


My Real folk blues lyrics with some changes.
YT video for the song if you don't have it on hand.
Code:
real folk blues –do over

Too much time has passed |    to lament   |   the past     
Aishiteta to             |     nageku      |    ni wa          
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When we were   |   still   | so very    |   much in love
Amari ni mo      |   toki  |   wa sugi   |   te simatta
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The restless wind| still | blowing threw my heart | can never heal all of these | tears within it.
Mada kokoro      |  no   |  hokorobi o           |   Iyasenumama kaze ga        |   fuiteru
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One eye sees nothing     |   but tomorrow   |      the other sees nothing but   |   yesterday.
Hitotsu no me de         |   asu o mite        |      Hitotsu no me de kinou       |   mitsumeteru
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope I can      |    gently rest in the    |   cradle of your loving arms    |   once again
Kimi no ai no    |    yurikagode            |    Mo ichido yasurakani           |   nemuretara
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So sadly please     |    cry for    |   me    |   with dry and    |   weary   |   eyes
Kawaita                 |    hitomi    |   de     |   dareka            |   naite    |   kure
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The real folk blues
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really want to know   |   to understand       |   what true sadness is
Honto no                |   kanashimi  ga       |   shiritai dake
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Living in   |   muddy      |   and cold water    |   Is not such a bad life  |   after all
Doro no      |   kawa ni    |   tsukatta              |   Jinsei mo waruku     |    wa nai
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As long as it     |   ends |    after the first time.
Ichido kiri         |   de      |     owaru nara
=================================


=================================
Hopeless hope and | a life filled with | falling in and out of traps never to | have a chance      
Kibou ni michita  |   zetsuboto        |    Wanagashikakerareteru             |  kono chansu
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is right or      |    what is wrong  |    Like a coin rolling forever    |       on its side
Nani ga yoku te     |     warui no ka     |     Koin no omoi to kuram         |        itaita
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How long  must  |    I live until          |     I am released from   this    |         misery
Dore dake       |            ikireba       |         iyasareru no             |         darou
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The real folk blues
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  change to----and pleasure is---
I really want to know        |       what true happiness    |        and pleasure really is
Honto no                |       yorokobi ga                 |                  shiritai dake 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     

Blinded by |  rainbows     |   in muddy reflections   | All that glitters is not gold.    
Hikaru     |  mono            | no subete ga                    | Ougen to wa kagiranai
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The real folk blues
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really want to know   |   to understand       |   what true sadness is
Honto no                        |   kanashimi  ga      |   shiritai dake
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Living in  |   muddy      |   and cold water    |   Is not such a bad life   |   after all
Doro no    |   kawa ni    |   tsukatta                |   Jinsei mo waruku         |    wa nai
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As long as it     |   ends  |    after the first time.
Ichido kiri        |   de       |     owaru nara
************************************************
Uhg I need to re format all my lyrics, between word warp and space eating it can be tricky to have them line up from site to site ><

Last edited by ZippyDSM; 2009-07-22 at 12:36.
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