Quote:
Originally Posted by zzeroparticle
I think Sorrow's managed to nail my issues with this series.
While I sat through episode 2, my brain just turned off and to amuse myself, I replaced the script they used with what I would have written had I been in charge. The way my version and the version shown to us diverged were starkly different with most of the differences coming from giving Stiyl some motivation that we can at least sympathize with even if we don't necessarily agree with it.
For example, that whole scene where Stiyl explains how important Index was could have been rewritten to say something along the lines of "she contains all the big important secrets and we cannot trust you to guard her because there are more powerful organizations that seek to get their hands on her. For the good of this world, we're taking her into our care because you have little understanding in the forces you're up against..." and so on. Bam. Clear motivation. Dialogue that's less pointless than the one that we got instead. And a revelation about more sinister elements lurking out in the whole wide world.
Is this motivation particularly deep? Heck no! But by giving us even this much insight into the character's mindset, we can glean a whole lot more about his personality, making him feel real. Had they given us even that much, I could see the story become much more compelling than it has been so far, but until then, this is an exemplary result of shallow writing.
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Erm, I don't suppose you realized that what you're asking for suppose to be revealed near the end of the arc, and not the beginning of it right? I mean, what's the point of showing all your cards this this early in the story?
You don't just throw out stuff like that in the
2nd episode, that's an example of shallow writing, you reveal it bit by bit, before hitting the viewers with a big one.