Quote:
Originally Posted by Ledgem
I may be echoing mystique or I may just like to think that she agrees with me, but I don't think you can judge it. You need to get to know the person in a one-on-one setting. You can do this by becoming close friends or by dating. If you do it through the friend route that introduces a few other complications, although it's still viable. I just don't believe that you can tell who is perfect for you as though there were some sixth sense, and I partially speak from experience. I consider myself to be an exceptional judge of character, and while I was looking for a relationship I was not so desperate that I would link up with someone who did not meet my high standards. In hindsight, I did a good job of convincing myself that the first person I linked up with met and surpassed these expectations. After a few weeks of dating I recognized my own inner feelings of hurt and dissatisfaction, and I cut the relationship.
No drama, no mucking around. I discovered new things about myself from that relationship (which was sex-less, by the way) and more importantly, I discovered that there was an incompatibility. Or perhaps there was a compatibility, but I wasn't strong enough to deal with any conflicts that arose.
Either way, some dating experience can only help you. You'll learn about how to communicate with a partner, you'll learn what you really like and dislike, and you'll learn about some of those feelings that you may have not yet experienced. I disagree that you need to date a lot, but definitely don't enter into a relationship immediately thinking "this is the one - for life." From my own experience, while it may make you more dedicated, it'll also make you less honest with yourself. That may cause you to prolong a bad relationship.
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My wording was bad, I was talking about the persons who asked me on a date, but I didn't want to start something just like this with those persons.
About the rest, you're not aware about a lot of things
(I don't blame you at all!), but I just don't feel like writing another PM to another person about a private thing like this. ^^
About the bolded part, I don't want to change, so I hope it will not happen for me.