[Demongod86]

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker.
She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, 'Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred dollars. Any questions, I'll be parked around the corner.'
She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, 'How much?'
She says, 'A hundred dollars.'
He says, 'All I got is thirty'.
She says, 'Hold on,' and runs back to Harry and asks, 'What can he get for thirty?'
'A hand job,' Harry replied.
She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty bucks is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car.
He unzips his pants, and out pops this "HUGE" crank.
She stares at it for a minute, and then says, 'I'll be right back.' She runs back to Harry.
'What's wrong?' he asks,
'Any chance you could lend this guy seventy bucks?!
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The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible
for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was
climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth
Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site.
In a panic to escape, she slid down the tree, getting a great number of
splinters lodged in her crotch area. In considerable pain she hurried to the
nearest doctor, told him she was an environmentalist and how she got all the
splinters.
The doctor listened with great patience and then told her to go into
the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She waited for 3
hours before the doctor reappeared. Angry, the woman demanded, 'What took you so long?'
'Well...' replied the doctor, '...I had to get permits from the
Environmental Protection Agency; the Forestry Service; the National Parks
and Wildlife Service; the Wilderness Society and the Department of
Conservation and Land Management before I could remove 'old growth timber' from a 'recreational area' . . . I'm sorry but they all turned me down.'