Quote:
Originally Posted by Yukinokesshou
Yay, thanks for the story. I was going to ask you about it over PM but you gave me what I wanted  . And about not having experience in a love relationship, I guess that would apply to me as well. I'd be happy if a fairy tale story like that were to happen to me. However, I have yet to be so fortunate, so I was speaking from my experience with non-romantic relationships.
I'm starting to think that "turn-offs" probably figure a lot more heavily in non-romantic than in romantic relationships. At the end of the day, if you truly love someone, love can overcome any number of "turn-offs" which are essentially nothing more than preconceived attitudes. |
When it comes to friendship, I guess people are less annoyed by possible turn-offs. I mean, as I already said on animesuki, I have a friend who smokes cigarettes. I dislike it, so he tries to not do it in front of me. But we don't talk much abou it. I mean, it can't be as annoying as living as a couple with somebody who smokes, in the same house. So yes, there is a difference between love relationship, and friendship.
Probably..., but it's not all true. There's some Turn-offs that you can't overcome, or not easily. A man who not wants any kids (or not desire it and would do it just to please me) is for example, a complete Turn-off for me. I would not be able to overcome that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nosauz
What Yukinokesshou means is that loving someone is a lot different than being just friends. If the person is a potential 'the soul mate" or "the one" or just someone you really really like, then you can sometimes overcome your own prejudices and ignore/live with those "flaws." This pretty prevalent in married couples or long term relationships in the stereotype that women always want to change men, the idea that women will take a man that isn't ideal or doesn't meet their exacting standards in a sense because they feel there is possibilty that they can change him down the road. Plus turn-offs vary in degree of turn-offability (excuse the made up word) some are deal breakers and some are just pet peeves that really are just shallow misconceptions or stereotypes that people fall into. Like an example would be not wanting kids would be a deal breaker, while curly hair would just be something that isn't your favorite, does it mean that you won't fall in love with a person with curly hair, no, its just not likely because they don't meet your "criteria."
Quick disclaimer, in no way or form do I oppose homosexuality, just getting that out there just in case theres a misunderstanding, what you do or choose to love is your business not mine. Any way most gays say that homosexuality is not a choice, you just grow up loving men/women instead or the opposite sex, this pretty much applies to turn-offs, you don't control what makes you want to spend the rest of your life with one other person, or else the popular culture conception that nerds would never be in relationships unless they were with other nerds would be true. In most cases people end up getting together with people who don't fit all their bill of what they consider is a perfect partner, and sometimes they are exact dichotomies of what they like, but it doesn't change the fact that through courtship, many of these turn-offs can be overcome if the turn-offs are based on appearance, habits, or generally things that don't pertain to life style decisions like kids.
|
First part of your post = yes, it's somewhat true, minus a thing. There are a LOT of men here who try to change their GF
So the stereotype that it is aonly true for women is false!
Second part of your post = I guess that when you're young, it's a dream to find the perfect partner, but in most cases, it ends up like you said, people choose someone who doesn't exactly fit their bill. But I think that somebody who date a person that he/she doesn't really really love, creates a couple that has less chance to last long/forever. And I know people who are in couple just to not be alone, and for some, because they also want a family. Is it true love in this case? I tend to think not.
Anyway, I hear sometimes amon people of my age, that finding the "(near) perfect" partner is not possible ; and I think it's not true, it's just very, very rare (desesperatly rare)... I know it's possible because of my parents (I am annoying about talking about them so much, i Know
), and another couple of my generation that I know. Even if it doesn't happen to me, I wish and hope that it will continue to happen to at least a few people in this world.
Also, one very bad thing, I think, would be to be in love with someone who's perfect for you, while this someone doesn't love you romantically, or is already in couple. Because it's hard to find someone who's quite perfect for you, but it doesn't mean that this person will like you too, and that you'll be perfect for him/her.
For the lulz, we should make a thread about what would be the perfect woman/man for each member
/joking
Well, I have to go, I will not be really present for two weeks because of easter holidays. Happy easter to everyone. So I will reply in a few days or after my holidays
