Quote:
Originally Posted by Samari
This brings me to what I wanted to come clean about. Even before I met Macy, the bar episodes, and such...I remember thinking...about the potential duration with my relationship with my girlfriend. I'll be honest, a part of me has thought about the commitment factor. A part of me isn't sure if one girl potentially for the rest of my life is going to be okay. A part of me really wants to explore. Now...I know that makes me look like a real bad person. But if there was a person that may be the "one", I think my girlfriend really fits the bill. I'm not sure how long we'll be together, but these last 21 days...hmmm...I think it's made me also realize that I need to somehow fix my attitude about my romantic life and be more thoughtful about the people around me. I hope the recent events don't tarnish what I've established with my girlfriend...and things go back to the way they were.
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Really, I'm curious as to why the urge to "explore" is seen as such a bad thing...
In any case, you're beating yourself up about this quite a bit it seems, but I don't really think that what you're feeling is wrong. It's natural at times to think about whether or not your relationship is the type that will last a lifetime and if the person you're with is really "the one", or if you're just settling for someone who meets all of the requirements.
As for wanting things to go back to the way they were, I'm just going to repeat to you what I said in my initial post about your situation: you really need to talk to your girlfriend about this. You feel guilty and confused, and you're attracted to another girl, regardless of if it's infatuation or something genuine. Certainly, if you think it's nothing, you can just swallow it and keep it to yourself, but honestly, I'd come clean to her about it; it would clear your mind, and if she listens to you and her first reaction isn't to break up with you, perhaps she could help you with some of the questions you're asking yourself.