[Ricky Controversy]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Heh, funny you should say that. When you break it down to the evolutionary biological scale, our mating dance is no different than that of other animals. But it is unromantic to think of our "higher" actions as a mere animalistic ritual.

It's less that it's 'unromantic' and more that it's unscientific to assert that. Every species that socially bonds has its own set of priorities involved in the bonds they form. Certainly, reproduction enters into the 'mating' priority list for most people, and this is common throughout the animal kingdom. That being said, you simply will not find the diversity of other priorities that humans have in their selection amongst any other species. Because of this variety, and the fact that many humans are not psychologically transparent or simple, it makes trying to boil romance down to a science a bit futile.

If you you like her, wanting to get to know her should be second nature anyway.

Absolutely agree with this, but if you're advocating subtlety and sensitivity as you seem to be, it's worth noting that some people prefer to let their actions and demeanor speak for themselves, and focus discussion on neither individual, but on outside concepts.

But it's a nice trick for making sure there aren't many awkward silences, too.

If you're consciously trying to fill or prevent silences with a person, that should be a red flag, frankly.

Perhaps it's something we don't like to admit, that each one of us likes to talk about ourselves. Perhaps that's what makes it so hard to accept.

It strikes me as Ledgem objecting not to the notion of this tendency but to the generalization that everyone likes to talk about themselves that seemed to be coming through in your post--though you have clarified that you acknowledge the exceptions.

Some choose to be single, and some, like me, have really raised their standards such that there probably aren't people who can meet them. I could go out and play the dating game and line up a string of women starting tomorrow(done it before), but it's not worth it to me. I have no desire to play games right now.

There are two possibilities here: the first is that you have in fact set a standard so high that no one exists who can meet it. If this is true, then you're incredibly arrogant for setting that as your mark. The second possibility is that you're being very pessimistic because you've had a few experiences that didn't go your way. If that is the case, then you're defeating yourself outright. The first step to finding a suitable partner is the step that takes place in your head, getting yourself into the proper mindset of openness.

Either way, please, stop plugging yourself with comments about how logical you fancy yourself to be, or how capable you are of charming women when you want to, or how high your standards are. I understand you want to qualify your advice, but why not let it stand on its own legs?