Looking at my own heart would be like looking at a shattered glass in a dark room. The person I love the most has been stolen from me before I could even confess to him. And in the process of losing that opportunity, I also lost a part of myself that I wanted to keep private. Hitomi has hurt me so much… One of my two best friends has wounded me deeper than I’ve ever been wounded before…
And so I lie here alone. I fear that I will be forever alone. Forever unneeded… forever unwanted… forever unloved.
All I can do is cry, and dip in a pathetic pool of self-pity. I can only hope that the pain will eventually numb me…
‘Sayaka, I’m here along with Kyouko.’ I heard a familiar and friendly voice communicating with me telepathically, ‘Please meet us downstairs and join us for a while.’
It was Mami-sempai! Well, even though I wasn’t feeling that great right now, it would make me feel even more horrible to turn Mami away. So I telepathically conveyed to her that I’d be right down.
I quickly threw aside my bed covers, and leaped off the bed.
“I’ll be down there in a minute or two!” I shouted out to dad, to make sure he didn’t start asking Mami or Kyouko any difficult questions.
I then change out of my blue pajamas and into my student uniform, as I couldn’t think of anything better to put on given my rush.
After meeting Mami and Kyouko at the door, I noticed that Mami had her student uniform on while Kyouko was wearing her usual green top and blue jean-shorts.
“It’s good to see you, Sayaka.” Mami said to me with a smile, while I moved over towards her, “Don’t worry, I’ve already explained to your father that you and I became friends after meeting each other for the first time while we were both shopping at the local mall a couple weeks ago.”
“And that’s where you offered to show Mami’s cousin Kyouko around town after Kyouko arrived for a visit… is that right, Sayaka?” dad asked me, while scratching his goatee.
“
Ah… right, right!” I quickly answered, to “confirm” what I guess is Mami’s cover story.
“It’s great to see you be so helpful to other people like that, Sayaka!”, my dad exclaimed with a grin, while rubbing my head, “But just make sure you don’t bring Mami or Kyouko anywhere off-limits to kids, Ok?”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” I said, with a tone of irritation, over dad being overprotective like this.
Mami, Kyouko, and I all then left to go for a walk together. Mami took the lead, with Kyouko and I walking next to each other, and a step behind her.
“
Sigh…” I said, “Dad can be so embarrassing at times.”
“Hey, at least you have a dad…” Kyouko replied, while chewing on a stick of pocky, “That’s more than Mami or I can say.”
I wasn’t unsympathetic to Kyouko and Mami’s lack of living parents, but I still felt that was awfully blunt of Kyouko.
“Please excuse Kyouko her lack of tact.” Mami quickly chimed in, “She’s just trying to make clear to you that there’s a lot you have to be happy about, Sayaka.”
“Yeah, so don’t get so down over some failed childhood crush.” Kyouko added in, “You’ll find somebody else in this world if you really want to.”
Mami and Kyouko’s words did make me smile slightly, at least.
“I appreciate you both trying to cheer me up, but it’s not as simple as you make it out to be.” I stated, “I’m not popular with guys like Hitomi is, so I’m…”
“How about with
girls?” Kyouko interjected, in a breezy and playful tone, “Are you popular with other girls?”
“…W-what’s that supposed to mean?!” I asked a bit angrily.
“Now now, Kyouko, let’s wait until we get to my place before we raise
that issue with Sayaka.” Mami said a bit sheepishly.
The seriousness of Mami’s words made it clear to me what she and Kyouko wanted to talk to me about.
“…So you want to talk to me about how Hitomi’s kiss maneuver worked on me, right?” I said in a low tone, betraying my trepidation here.
“Yes, that’s right.” Mami answered, “But don’t worry, Sayaka, neither Kyouko or I hold that against you.”
“In fact, I find it pretty
exciting!” Kyouko said, as she leaned her face in close to mine, and wrapped one arm snugly around my shoulder.
“…H-Hey, quit it!” I shouted to Kyouko, as she sort of put me in a headlock and started tickling me with her free hand.
This made Mami nervously laugh a bit, before she thankfully managed to talk Kyouko down. We then continued on to Mami’s home, since that was apparently where Mami wanted us to go. Kyouko cracked a couple off-color jokes along the way, apparently taking amusement in making me squirm a bit.
After arriving at Mami's place, I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Geez, you didn’t have to tease me so much about it, Kyouko!” I said to her, while Mami went to get some tea and cake for us.
“I’m teasin’ you about it so you’ll loosen up about it already, Sayaka!” Kyouko exclaimed in reply, “You’re too uptight about this!”
“That’s easy for you to say!” I shouted at her, “You don’t have to live with it like I do.”
“Actually, that’s not true, Sayaka.” Mami stated, upon returning with tea and cakes, “Kyouko
and I are both just like you are when it comes to being attracted to girls.”
“
Hheeehh?!” I exclaimed in shock, “R-really?”
“Yeah,
really!” Kyouko exclaimed, while she suddenly reached around my chest and playfully poked my breasts with her two index fingers.
This made me shout in shock, and pull away from Kyouko, collapsing to my knees next to Mami while I covered my breasts with my two arms.
“K-Kyouko!” I exclaimed at her in displeasure, while she simply laughed at my reaction.
I then felt Mami gracefully place one hand on my shoulder, and slide nearer towards me while we were both in a kneeling position.
“Kyouko is perhaps being a bit too forceful about it, but she means well, Sayaka.” Mami said to me, “Please believe me when we say that we only want to help you…”
I then felt Mami gently place her hand on my face, lightly caressing it, while she made a beaming smile towards me with dreamily contended eyes.
“…You two aren’t just joking around, are you?” I asked.
“No, we’re not.” Mami confimed, while she removed her hand from my face, “Now let’s enjoy some tea and cake while we talk about it a bit more.”
Kyouko, Mami, and I then took separate places around the transparent triangular table in Mami’s home. Mami and I both sat in a kneeling position, while Kyouko was slouching backwards with her legs hanging loose.
“So…” I said to Mami, after I took a couple sips of tea, “Why didn’t you or Kyouko reveal this to me before?”
“Why would we?” Kyouko answered, shrugging her shoulders, “You seemed totally taken up with that violinist.”
“Besides…” Mami said, “You didn’t willingly reveal your secret to us either, Sayaka.”
“Ok, you both have a point, I guess.” I said, before slightly smiling, “Well, I guess if nothing else this means that you won’t hold the way I’m attracted to girls against me. That’s a relief!”
“Is that enough though?” Mami asked, while carefully looking over my face, “Just that relief, I mean?”
“You strike me as a really old-fashioned romantic, Sayaka.” Kyouko stated, “That’s kinda lame, but it’s also a bit amusing and endearing. It also means that you don’t strike me as the kinda person that would be happy as a loner in her life.”
“I have to concur with Kyouko on that.” Mami added in.
“Well… yeah, you’re both probably right.” I replied, “But I’m not sure what I can do about that.”
“Geez, girl, are you really
this thick?!” Kyouko exclaimed, “Just why do you think Mami and I are both approaching you the way we are right now?!”
Mami made a smirking smile and wink towards me, as though to confirm Kyouko’s words.
“Oh, I see…
ha ha ha…” I replied, laughing while scratching the back of my head, “W-well, that’s very flattering, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for…”
“Of course you’re not.” Mami interjected firmly, “We don’t expect you to be. But we just want you to know that, for your
own sake Sayaka, your chances at finding love in the world does not end with the loss of Kyousuke Kamijo…”
“Right!” Kyouko chimed in, “Even if there’s nobody in your class at school that you can picture yourself with, you have other options with the Swift Scarlet Spear and the Glistening Golden Gunner!”
“N-nice nicknames.” I replied sheepishly, “…I wonder what mine would be?”
“Does Bodacious Blue Blade sound good?” Mami asked in a sensuous tone of voice while peering at me over the edge of her tea cup.
“…Sure.” I replied warmly, as this entire scene left me feeling moved.
Mami and Kyouko had really managed to put my mind at ease, and also uplift my heart, this afternoon. I thanked both of them for coming to my aid when I needed it the most. It felt like such a heavy weight had been lifted from off of my shoulders due to talking with them openly about something that was a deep, dark secret for me. And they both made it abundantly clear that even though Kyousuke is now beyond my grasp, there may be other avenues for love in my life.
In fact, that was the new concern for me. While Mami and Kyouko were playful about it, I think that they were both hitting on me a bit. I have to admit that did excite me a bit, and made me wonder if I should pursue a relationship with one or the other. But who should it be with, and why? I can only think of one person who I could trust to help me with this right now, as ironic as it would be for
her to play match-maker for me…
Thursday evening came and went with little incident. My thoughts kept coming back to Sayaka a lot, but I decided to put my faith in Mami and Kyouko’s attempts to cheer her up. Thankfully, judging by Sayaka’s mood this Friday morning, that faith was well-placed!
Sayaka met me at our usual meeting spot on my way to school, and she seemed unusually happy this morning. She made a bright, cheerful welcome to me, and it seemed like she had a new spring in her step.
“I was really worried about you yesterday.” I said to Sayaka, “But you now seem to be doing really well!”
“Well…” began Sayaka in reply, as she skipped along to school, walking a step ahead of me, “Let’s just say that I realized that there’s always more fish in the sea!”
Sayaka then laughed a bit, as we continued on to school.
After we arrived at school, Sayaka surprised me by sprinting over towards Hitomi’s locker, where Hitomi herself was now at. I think that Sayaka was indicating to Hitomi that she wanted to put aside their recent disputes, and that it would be good if we could all be friends again.
“So you have no intention of interfering with my relationship with Kyousuke?” Hitomi asked, while raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I won’t interfere.” Sayaka confirmed, albeit in a somber tone of voice, “So I’m hoping we can all be friends again, particularly for Madoka’s sake.”
Hitomi initially had a skeptical look on her face, as she looked off to the side to dwell on Sayaka’s words. But then the look on Hitomi’s face softened, and after making a brief sigh, she told Sayaka that she’d be willing to give the friendship between the three of us another chance.
Sayaka than eagerly called me over to join her and Hitomi, and I did so. With much smiles and laughter, the three of us decided to put aside our differences.
“Just neither of you keep anything important secret from me anymore, Ok?” Hitomi asked, in a hurt tone of voice.
“Sure.” Sayaka said.
“Right.” I chimed in, “We’ll make sure not to leave you out of the loop anymore!”
“In fact, why don’t we go ahead with our initial plans?” Sayaka asked Hitomi, “You know, for the three of us to sleep over Mami’s place tonight?”
Hitomi blinked in surprise at this gesture.
“Well, I already had plans with Kyousuke for this evening…” Hitomi said, “But I’m free tomorrow night, if having the sleepover then is Ok with the two of you and Mami as well. And since three of us are Puella Magi, maybe Sayaka and I could use the opportunity to get some Puella Magi training from Mami. That’s if you don’t mind, Madoka.”
“No, I don’t mind.” I said, as tears rushed to my eyes, “I’m just so relieved that we can all be friends again!”
Sayaka and Hitomi then laughed and giggled a bit over my sappy show of emotions. But I think on the inside they were really relieved too.
So with new joy and anticipation in my heart, these Friday classes seemed to whiz on by in a flash. During lunch break, Sayaka and I went to our usual spot on the pure white rooftop of the school. It was there where Sayaka revealed something else to me.
“I’m so happy that you and Hitomi have made up!” I exclaimed with a smile to Sayaka.
“Yeah, me too.” Sayaka replied with a smile, “But there is a different concern on my mind right now, Madoka.”
“Oh, what’s that?” I asked her.
“Well…” Sayaka replied with a touch of hesitancy, “Let’s just say there’s a couple of girls in school that recently caught my eye.”
“Girls?” I asked in turn.
“Yeah.” Sayaka said, “That doesn’t bother you, right?”
“No.” I replied, “But do
they like other girls that way?”
“Yeah, they do.” Sayaka answered, “Don’t worry. I already know that.”
“Ok…” I replied, although a bit uneasily, “So… go on.”
“Yeah, anyway…” Sayaka continued, “I’m trying to decide which of these two girls I should pursue a relationship with.”
“And you want me to give you advice with that?” I asked.
“If you don’t mind.” Sayaka answered.
“No, I guess not.” I replied.
“Ok, then I’ll describe what these two girls are like, and you can tell me which one you think would be a better match for me.” Sayaka stated.
“Ok, that sounds like a good plan.” I replied with a smile.
“The first girl is very wild and rambunctious.” Sayaka stated, “She’s a real handful, but that also means she’s pretty exciting. She has a good sense of humor, but she can overdo it sometimes. Life would never be dull with her around, but it could also get annoying at times.”
“And the other girl?” I asked.
“The other girl is almost the complete opposite.” Sayaka stated, “She’s really refined and polite. She’s very soothing and comforting to be around. She’s an admirable person. She’s not as exciting to be around as the first girl is, but she can be pretty fun to be around. Life might sometimes seem too easygoing with her around, but it would always be pleasant and serene.”
“I’m impressed, Sayaka.” I said.
“…What do you mean?” she asked.
“You only talked about their personalities.” I said, “That means you’re being very serious and thoughtful about this, and not superficial or shallow at all!”
“Well, they’re both physically attractive in their own ways.” Sayaka said bashfully, before laughing a bit, “Anyway, which do you think would make a better match for me, Madoka?”
MSA Choice 2:
A) “I think you should choose the first girl.”
B) “I think you should choose the second girl.”
If you chose
A, read Section
Red Rivers Running.
If you chose
B, read Section
Genki Girl Glomps Golden Guns.
And that conversation would bring a close to our lunch break. I have to admit that a part of me felt a bit jealous of the girl that Sayaka would soon be romantically pursuing…
But that wasn’t as important as the fact that Sayaka, Hitomi, and I were all friends again!
It looks like the tumultuous storms of the past two weeks would soon give way to peace and tranquility. At least, I hope that they will…