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Old 2012-12-17, 09:37   Link #38725
Eratas123
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Join Date: Sep 2011
@ Senpai - New changes to Shadow:

- Victor (Irish's leader) is more insane and intimidating, but also more silly. In the first story he comes across as a Smug snake Jerkass dirty coward. The re-write places him as more homicidal, insane and somewhat bipolar, going from affably evil to yelling and threatening to slice someone open at the drop of a hat. case in point; a prisoner he was interrogating faints: His first action is to be sympathetic and pray, then the next he straps electrodes to his jaw and cranks it to full charge.

- Irish himself comes off looking more like an arsehole compared to earlier portrayals. Since I got complaints that him taking Cecilia so quickly looked ridiculous, I plan to give them a fight scene.....where she knocks her into unconsciousness by smacking her against the wall (Though to be fair, she nearly broke his arm as well). Combat is changed as well since he can dual wield knives now.

- Kyuukai is gone. While this is mostly cause he doesn't fit the theme, I also need Tabane to stay Chifuyu's age and for her to be completely amoral/neutral. Need her to be alone for that, so no soldier boy son.

- Ichika has more deadpan snarker moments, and his fatal flaw is seeing the world through "Black and White" morality. This means that he's willing to let people die if he considers them evil enough (Kinda like Houki and that boat scene), whereas Irish sees only in black and gray and ends up more tolerant as a result. Main source of friction between the two protagonists.

- Chifuyu is portrayed outright negatively in several scenes. Her not doing anything to stop Tabane from pretty much revolutionizing warfare is called into question and parts of the general populace (the oppressed side) outright hate her since they see her as a symbol of the IS.

- Each girls fatal flaw is treated more seriously. Laura's in particular since having a soldiers mindset in the middle of a peaceful area is just asking for trouble.

Is it alright?
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