Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzrat
It's kinda funny to me how everyone goes for those "anti depressent" pills. I think it's dangerous to rely on chemicals to get yourself out of these depression. It might be useful for the really really extreme case where possibility of suicide is certain but otherwise, i steer clear of it personally;.
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It's funny that you mention that. Naturally, avoiding medications if possible is the natural thing to do. but the condition i had made it more difficult - it actually happened like this. note - i have NEVER had a panic/anxiety attack before, hence i guess i dealt with it badly- I just woke up one day, feeling slightly drowsy, and noticed i had only slept 4 and a half hours , after a long long day before. I started getting slightly anxious about my sleep, as i didnt feel sleepy at all. i found this anxiousness unsettling, so i became anxious about whether the anxiousness would go away. Before i knew it, my heart was beating so hard i could hear it clearly. I began to piece together what might have caused it, and i searched on the internet - a BAD idea. i came upon testimonial upon testimonial about people who had similiar experiences last decade and still hadnt recovered - which made my anxiety peak. I tried desperately to cry, but all it made me do was breathe so hard i had to puke. I called my parents, only to realize i was halfway accross the world from them, suddenly i was in a new hostile environment. I tried to rationalize - this was just a panic attack, it would pass eventually. it didnt. i couldnt sleep for a day , and have only recently started smiling and laughing again ( much to the relief of friends and family ) and immediately went to see a doctor ( which is expensive here, it was amazing that i was able to make an appointment in a day as well - lucky for me ) and was absolutely unreasonable to the point where i demanded medicines. not that he gave it to me lol, but after a week it didnt improve, so i was recommended some medication.
Now the point of this is if you do read this, a lot of the decisions i made, and a lot of my thought process wasnt very rational at all. I have pieced together more or less why there was a chemical imbalance, and now i realize it
would have passed eventually anyways, if i exercised regularly, ate the right foods, had people to lean on, and most importantly recognize when i was having an attack. my body would fix itself. i just had to last it out for a little longer, till it improved enough to get back into some sort of daily routine. the whole reason why i was flung into this condition was absolutely silly in the first place. now, i know better. i know what to do if i have an anxiety attack ( it happens a few less times everyday now
). once you get caught up in either anxiety or depression, its exceedingly difficult to control it - these medications provide great reassurance, if nothing else, so i empathize with the people who turn to them.
Ahh.. it was great to get that off my shoulders. Its one thing to talk to people about it, and its a whole other to write about it - another irrational thing, talking about it, which ive only been able to do recently helps, every time i do it.