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Thats why the war should be shocking experience.
Those who live with the war can act the way you say - rather carelessly in the face of death, but those who are not used to it - usually it has a very strong effect (you just have to read few rememberings of first or second world war to know what I mean).
Those who are used to the war can have such carefree attitude but those who are not, well lets say its very unrealistic. A war has much greater effect to a baker than to a soldier (who was a soldier before a war), thats why I find it unrealistic the way they cope with the stuff and just go on about their silly school drama.
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