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I suppose part of the problem we're facing is that we don't know why Tanigawa chose "John Smith" for Kyon's nickname.
If it's just because it's a common Western name, then we can go with "Jane Doe/Smith" and call it good.
But if it's something deeper, then we need to find an analogue for that. And if there are multiple references in that name, our job becomes that much harder.
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