[Falkor]

Now that we have a character discussion thread on Hiromi, I think these posts should belong here.

Originally Posted by Falkor

I didn’t quite explain myself last time, so I will try to sort out my ideas a little bit better this time around (probably not). Well, I still think that Hiromi is a lonely/insecure girl, seeking to ‘share’ her loneliness or understand herself, and for that matter she becomes interested in Noe (consciously) while she wants to befriend her ‘out of concern’ for Shinichiro (unconsciously). However, I still find unclear whether these two situations are related or not at all.

Spoiler for contains specific details about the first two episodes involving Hiromi:

- Shinichiro asks her to eat together with the family, but she seems uninterested/busy and further ignores him while concentrating again on the computer.
- Shinichiro greets Hiromi when she arrives home, but she responds with the ‘usual’ answer and further seems to ignore him.
- Shinichiro ‘meets’ Hiromi in the bathroom. She doesn’t scream or tell him to get the hell out of there, but simply ‘waits’ (probably scared of what’s happening or might happen to her). Once he is out of the room, she not only apologizes once, but twice—when she is not obviously at fault.
- She is a ‘third party’ to the discussion between Shinichiro’s mom and Shinichiro himself. When his mom gazes upon her, she looks away.
- She is very popular at the school and particularly athletic since she is part of the basketball team.
- “I… What do I want to do…” The title for the second episode and part of Hiromi’s thoughts when she is playing a practice match.
- Hiromi is not involved in any conversation when she is eating with her foster’s family (out of the picture).
- She observes Noe and Shinichiro talking to each other, but she states to her friend that her relationship with him is not what she imagines to be and replies with the same answer when her friend finds her talking with Noe.
- When she talks to Noe, she mentions first the dead chicken before ‘indicating’ the lack of a proper grave.
- She asks Shinichiro about Noe and the rumors surrounding her. Notice here that she gives an especial connotation to the fact she ‘assaults’ passerby students.
- Shinichiro and Hiromi leave the house at different times.
- Hiromi requests a favor from Shinichiro—to help her out befriending Noe.
- When Hiromi and Shinichiro touch each other’s hands while reaching for the condiments, she doesn’t show any ‘reaction’ (but only ‘stares’ at him) even though he smiles.
- Hiromi builds a grave for Raigomaru.
- A flashback hinting that both Hiromi and Shinichiro were once in good terms.
- She apologizes twice to Shinichiro (again) and further says that she didn’t really want to be Noe’s friend. However, she says that Noe is amazing, being able to see through her lie.
I didn’t intend to make a long list, but it sometimes helps to sort out my thoughts.

Spoiler for speculation based on the first two episodes:

Anything beyond this is merely speculation from my part (whether reasonable or not) based only on the first two episodes. First of all, what’s exactly the relationship between Hiromi and Shinichiro? From Hiromi’s flashback, we can assume they are the standard osana-najimi relationship and they have been awkward/tense/distant with each other for a while. They leave for school at separate times, Hiromi seems to greet Shinichiro out of obligation for his family, they don’t communicate at home or at the school, she seems to ignore him most of the times (or show no interest for him in most cases), and she doesn’t hint any ‘reaction’ when Shinichiro ‘touches’ her hand. Given all these circumstances, I don’t find it strange at all when she says to her friend that her relationship with him is not what she imagines to be—which is certainly true if they are not that close to begin with.

Now, what’s really going on inside of Hiromi’s head? I feel I’m about to understand her behavior and character, just before stumbling with a huge rock that sets me back to the beginning. She is very unpredictable and out of all the things I discovered about her, I realize she is probably more insecure rather than lonely/friendless/jealous. With only two episodes, I have encountered many instances where her behavior might be out of place, but otherwise showed a certain degree of depth and uncertainty. The first one is the weird situation she faces meeting Shinichiro in the bathroom and consequently apologizing to him even though she wasn’t really supposed to say sorry. At first I thought it might be actually related to her foster family and the fact she feels as an outsider, but then I notice she apologizes twice in the “same sentence.” Given this little detail, it might be something more personal involving Shinichiro himself and from which there are not enough clues to draw conclusions. The second situation I find strange is building the grave for Raigomaru. It’s kinda out of place for a girl like Hiromi to bother building a grave for a dead chicken she only heard about. She might have done so in order to become Noe’s friend, but I’m not very sure if those were her true intentions. From my point of view, she might have shared the same feelings with Noe when the chicken was stripped of her life (somebody dear to her) since Hiromi happens to experience the same kind of situation (somebody dear to her also died). The third instance I can’t quite figure out is the moment she ‘starts’ a conversation with Shinichiro, one to ask him for ‘help’ and the other one to apologize for the ‘inconvenience’. If she wants to befriend Noe, why going for the trouble of asking Shinichiro, who is not in good terms with her? Does she want to become her friend so badly or there is something else? Towards the end of the episode, she talks with him one more time just to apologize and she does seem to have realized something. What I don’t quite understand is the ‘basis’ for apologizing “twice” in the same sentence or the need to ‘casually’ say that Noe ‘saw through’ her. This makes me believe again that she meant to befriend Noe ‘sincerely,’ but given that she outright rejected her, she cannot further the situation anymore and so decides to end his short-term help from Shinichiro with a lie. Whether she indeed saw through her or not, it showed Hiromi as a person with more flaws than clothes with holes, who is insecure of herself, prompt to make mistakes and regret everything she does (the double apology) with an overwhelming sadness and weight. **And it seems episode 03 is giving us some clues for her true intentions, but also the confirmation that she might have actually lied.**

And there are two more questions I want to explore about Hiromi, why does she want to befriend Noe and why I see her as cold/friendless/lonely/insecure/regretful/sad/etc. (in other words, why I see her as Hiromi)? As I mentioned in one of my posts, why going for the trouble of befriending somebody as wacky and “out of place” like Noe? I believed at some point that she wanted to ‘honestly’ become her friend because they shared the same kind of sadness (with the chicken for example, Hiromi wanted to sympathize with her) and I’m still believing so even though episode 03 seems to point at a different direction. Whether my speculations become true or hold no basis to understand Hiromi’s behavior and actions, there are some aspects about her personality and her character I have come to appreciate and somehow empathize. Thus far, we have been exposed to only pieces of what’s going on inside of her mind, but I think it’s enough to conclude she is probably sad, lonely, friendless, regretful, and above all, insecure. It’s quite redundant already to say that she is sad when there is more than enough evidence with the first two episodes—given the way she behaves at home and her lack of ‘casual’ talking—, but I will go further and say that she is also friendless and lonely. I’m not talking about having many friends, but about the situation where you have friends and still feel lonely—probably because she doesn’t have anybody to whom she can call a ‘true’ friend. A perfect example of this situation would be her relationship with Tomoyo (?) who is supposed to be her ‘closest’ friend. How much does Tomoyo know about Hiromi? She only seems to know that Shinichiro and Hiromi live together, but she is not aware that they rarely interact with each other. Even when Tomoyo asks her about Shinichiro at the end of episode 03, Hiromi doesn’t say what’s ‘really' going between the two of them, but the fact she is ‘actually’ in love with Noe’s brother (which I presume is a lie given the situation). I will also add into the mix the contrast between her world at home and her world at the school as part of what describes her as lonely and friendless (putting up a fake smile while trying to accept her own ‘exclusion’). If Noe is a strange, wacky, out-of-this-world person, Hiromi would be closed to fit those descriptions because of the complexity of her character which is random, sudden and unexpected all at the same time. She doesn’t seem to follow some sort of ‘pattern’ and that’s probably why I find her so insecure. Trying to befriend Noe almost on a whim, confronting her towards the end of the second episode, the lines “What do I want to do?,” asking for help from Shinichiro himself and later on coming up with a sudden apology, building a grave for Raigomaru, and the flashback itself are all hints of how insecure she is, not knowing what path she ‘should’ take, and once chosen one, stopping halfway and regretting it.

Originally Posted by Falkor

I didn’t intend to write this much… but oh well… hopefully my thoughts on episode 04 won’t be this long.

**The first spoiler only contains facts about Hiromi**

Spoiler for some facts/specific spoilers about Hiromi from episode 03:

- Hiromi lies about the festival.
- Shinichiro’s mom doesn’t consider Hiromi as her own child, while his dad does. It is quite obvious that she hates her.
- She says to Shinichiro that he didn’t have to come with her.
- Changing the topic when Shinichiro asked her about ‘Noe seeing through her.’
- In the flashback, Hiromi is shown crying, scared, and wondering around while ‘asking’ Shinichiro not to “leave her behind.”
- Hiromi looks happy holding hands with Shinichiro (flashback).
- Shinichiro takes off one of his sandals.
- She decided to seal her emotions/memories when she decided to live there.
- Himori seems more opened up to Shinichiro and actually greets him in a good mood.
- Hiromi is surprised of seeing Shinichiro and Noe together.
- She says to Tomoyo that the person she actually likes is Noe’s brother. She then faces Shinichiro with a troubled face because he might have overheard.

Spoiler for my thoughts/speculations on Hiromi:

Anything beyond this point is merely speculation from my part based on episode 03. The first thing I want to mention is Hiromi lying about not remembering the festival and probably further doing so at the end with Tomoyo. However, I don’t see her as a liar after all, but someone who might be indecisive/insecure with really deep motives. The question that concerns me the most is not why she lies, but why she wants to make sure that nobody suspects her ‘true feelings’ towards Shin—including Tomoyo and the person involved. This is the only conclusion I can draw from the situation if the former is kept ambiguous as it is. To spice things more, I want to add the fact she “decided to seal her emotions/memories away.” The word choice (if the translation is correct) is the aspect that it’s quite intriguing me. The first question I want to explore concerning this quote is whether those memories are happy ones or sad ones. I can understand a person trying to forget a ‘bad’ or ‘sad’ memory, but if I’m right, that’s not the case with Hiromi. From the flashback, I assume it was a happy/meaningful memory (holding hands with Shin) that she wanted to ‘forget’ since she is recalling that scene at two different points, the practice match and alone in her room. She might be referring to other memories as well (or the fact she was at her weakest), but the flashback, thus far, is the only thing she has been trying to hide. The second detail I want to explore is the wording itself, using “seal” rather than “hide” for example—if the translation is correct. By trying to seal her memories/emotions away, I wonder if that’s affecting her way of life or it’s some kind of painful burden that requires ‘sealing’ (I have no idea though, except throwing some random guesses). And lastly, the past tense, which is the most interesting feature of the quote. She refers to something in the past as the trigger of her decision, but what I’m curious to know is the situation before and after moving into the house (if that’s the only cause as well), and what has ‘really’ changed about her or has she been always a sad-looking and lonely girl. **I’m aware I might be going a bit overboard.** >.<

And that was the first part of my wall of text. The next thing I want to do is exploring the flashback itself, the ‘great’ contrast between Hiromi now and then. How would you describe Hiromi in the flashback? An insecure girl, scared of being alone (or scared of being left alone), very fond (or dependent) of Shin, prompted to cry, and shy perhaps. How is she now? Ignoring Shin completely for the most part of the first episode, very cold towards him, trying to put up a façade at the school, and above all, very sad and lonely looking. She is quite different from the girl she used to be, but I’m wondering if there are some aspects of her past—especially her insecurity—that are still haunting her. Again, this makes me very curious to know what happened then (underlying motives) in order to make her change like that. The most interesting thing about this flashback is probably the quote “Don’t leave me behind,” which she repeats to herself. It’s quite difficult for me to grab its true meaning in relation to Hiromi’s behavior and thoughts, but let’s see where this leads. I take notice of these words because she says it not in the flashback, but alone in her room, so I assume it holds an important connotation to her. It doesn’t really concern me why she doesn’t want to be left behind, but what she means by that? If she doesn’t want to be left behind, why acting cold towards Shin unless she wants to grow ‘stronger’ in order to overcome her past. The other thing about this quote is how she feels right now, whether she is indeed left alone or has been left alone for how long or is scared of being left alone (I don’t really know what she means by being left behind) would probably go into speculation. And lastly, why she might feel in the same way after so long? I think I can understand a lonely and sad girl like Hiromi (probably not), but I’m really far of comprehending her ‘longing for a certain somebody’ after so many years or the need to seal her memories/emotions away in order to do so.

We are almost close… I’m really curious to know her definition of happiness; what does it take to make her happy? Something like holding hands with Shin is enough to take away some of her loneliness while getting a great smile out of her (in the flashback). I think episode 04 kinda explains this topic so I will post my thoughts later on. However, there are still two things that are very ambiguous thus far. The first is what she feels for Shin. She seems to be concerned about him with all that happened in the second and third episode, but I cannot really grasp what she thinks. The only thing I can point out with only three episodes is the fact she does feel something for him, but whether they are romantic feelings or not, it’s up to speculation. And there’s this thing that feels out of place, Hiromi opening up to Shin. It’s not the fact that worries me, but when and how it started all this. What happened for this sudden change of personality? She finally greets him in a good mood, plus she seems more willing to start a conversation with him. What did she realize after all? And I think episode 04 is expanding this question even more so I might post my thoughts later on once a sub is out.

** On a curious/unrelated note, notice in the cockroach song that Noe mentions (episode 03) there’s a cockroach on Shin’s back and she happens to be on his back.

Only a repost of what I had on the general discussion thread.

Probably I'm one of the few who doesn't buy any of the theories/speculations regarding her romantic feelings. In my opinion, I haven’t seen any conclusive/clear evidence at all, but very ambiguous situations that can go either way.