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ApathyEcstasy · 2006-06-02, 17:58

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13048272/site/newsweek/

China Calls In U.S. Loans, Demands California
Golden State could become Middle Kingdom’s east coast

WEB-EXCLUSIVE SATIRE
By Andy Borowitz
Special to Newsweek
Updated: 10:43 a.m. PT May 30, 2006

May 30, 2006 - In a move expected to roil the world economy, China today called in all of its loans to the United States and demanded the State of California as repayment.

For years, economists have seen the U.S.'s heavy debt burden to China as something of a ticking time bomb, but few anticipated that Chinese President Hu Jintao would insist that the U.S. repay the loans by signing over ownership of the Golden State.

According to University of Minnesota economist Davis Logsdon, owning California would give the Chinese an opportunity to reverse its longstanding relationship with the U.S.: "China would own the Hollywood film business, and the U.S. would have to settle for pirated DVDs."

Losing California could be good news for Republicans, since the state has voted blue in the last few presidential elections and is home to such high-profile Hollywood liberals as Barbra Streisand and Steven Spielberg.

But the move could be bad news for California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, according to one aide, "has spent his entire life trying to become President of the United States and doesn't want to start all over again in China."

Perhaps responding to pressure from Gov. Schwarzenegger, President Bush today asked China if it would drop its demand for California and instead accept two other blue states, New York and Massachusetts.

President Hu responded with a two-word statement that seemed to indicate that China would not waver in its demand: "No substitutions."

Elsewhere, in a move that may discourage future immigration to the United States, Paris Hilton announced that she would release an album of her singing.
© 2006 Newsweek, Inc.

2006-06-02, 17:58	Link #537
ApathyEcstasy Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: USA	Satire: China Calls In U.S. Loans, Demands California http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13048272/site/newsweek/ China Calls In U.S. Loans, Demands California Golden State could become Middle Kingdom’s east coast WEB-EXCLUSIVE SATIRE By Andy Borowitz Special to Newsweek Updated: 10:43 a.m. PT May 30, 2006 May 30, 2006 - In a move expected to roil the world economy, China today called in all of its loans to the United States and demanded the State of California as repayment. For years, economists have seen the U.S.'s heavy debt burden to China as something of a ticking time bomb, but few anticipated that Chinese President Hu Jintao would insist that the U.S. repay the loans by signing over ownership of the Golden State. According to University of Minnesota economist Davis Logsdon, owning California would give the Chinese an opportunity to reverse its longstanding relationship with the U.S.: "China would own the Hollywood film business, and the U.S. would have to settle for pirated DVDs." Losing California could be good news for Republicans, since the state has voted blue in the last few presidential elections and is home to such high-profile Hollywood liberals as Barbra Streisand and Steven Spielberg. But the move could be bad news for California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, according to one aide, "has spent his entire life trying to become President of the United States and doesn't want to start all over again in China." Perhaps responding to pressure from Gov. Schwarzenegger, President Bush today asked China if it would drop its demand for California and instead accept two other blue states, New York and Massachusetts. President Hu responded with a two-word statement that seemed to indicate that China would not waver in its demand: "No substitutions." Elsewhere, in a move that may discourage future immigration to the United States, Paris Hilton announced that she would release an album of her singing. © 2006 Newsweek, Inc.