Thread: Dating
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Old 2011-12-12, 14:34   Link #9841
Ledgem
Love Yourself
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Worst e-mail you could ever receive after a date?

Thought I'd post this here to get some reactions. At first, you may be thinking the guy is crazy, but some of the comments hit upon an interesting interpretation: what if the guy has Aspergers? Having known a few in my time, it certainly sounds like some of the people I've known with Aspergers(and I confess, a bit too close to how I've come at times). He's trying to navigate the social rules without really understanding them, and it comes across as a bit creepy. And yet, as you can see from the tone of the article, mainstream still doesn't understand it or recognize it, and derides people for it.

Granted, this is just a possible interpretation. But it highlights the issues some people have with the dating scene.
I'm not really sure that he doesn't get the "social rules." He states in his second paragraph that "I assume you don't want to go out with me." He gets it, he understands what lack of communication after a date likely means. The rest basically indicates that he's unable to accept that his assumptions were incorrect (he's particularly fixated on what "playing with hair" must mean), or it could indicate that he really liked her and is doing all that he can to still have a chance.

The only thing he doesn't seem to understand (which could result from something along the autism spectrum) is how this girl might be feeling. He attempts to state multiple times what his intent in writing the email is (which does show that he's considering her interpretation), yet the overall email indicates and explains that he is hurt and upset. Despite that, he still welcomes a second date. Basically, he's already pegged her as being uninterested, then says things that would make her guilty, and also attempts to show why they would be compatible. I can't imagine how a second date would be anything but uncomfortable - for the girl, at least.
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