[sothis]

Ok dreamers. First things first, visit japan before you make up these grand plans.

Who knows, you might think it seriously sucks when you get there, yes it is possible.

this is seriously good advice to listen to, but i doubt many people will.

i was one of many who had this glorified idea of what japan would be like, and was set on going to school there for a year. then i ended up visiting a year ago, and now, there is no way in hell i'd live there.

are you a woman? did you know that in japan, it's fairly normalplace to be married by the time you are very early 20s? and if you are not, you are considered an old maid. the divorce rate is something like 1%, because it is incredibly bad to be divorced, or for people to know you are divorced. once married, a woman either quits her job, or seriously cuts back on it. women get married, stop working, and become a housewife.

this really shocked me. as a woman, (working in the computer science industry), this came as a big blow. really, you can see this aspect of their culture everywhere, or even by talking to people. i went in lots of lingerie stores (so much cute underwear over there) and couldn't find *one bra* that wasn't a pushup. women there, a major (if not ultimate) goal is to find a man.. which means making yourself look better to snag one, etc.

when japanese exchange students came to my school, i met one of them, Toshi.. he is who i ended up staying with when i visited japan. anyways, i knew him for about a year and a half prior to this. i remember once when i first met him, he asked if i had a boyfriend. when i said no, he was really surprised. i didn't understand it at the time. fast forward to a year later, he asked the same question. the answer was still no (way too much going on in school, and no real desire at the time). he was genuinely taken back, and surprised, and asked me why not. the fact that i wasn't always dating someone at this age (ie: trying to find a husband, ultimately) was a shock to him. Toshi's dad is actually the one who explained this all to me, because he wanted to know what it was like in the States. i went over new years holiday, and they had a special on TV where people were proposing in special ways. one guy proposed to a woman, and she started crying and said she couldn't. later, the show followed up on the story to find out why. i asked toshi what the problem had been (Since i obviously couldn't understand that much japanese). the answer? she had been divorced once. know what happened? the guy refused to marry her after that.

Toshi's mom woke up every day, and would sweep the entire house. she would wash all the blankets (that were on that low table that is heated), clean the tables, essentially, cleaning the house from top to bottom, hardcore. she then would start cooking breakfast. once she was done, she would clean. then she would cook lunch. then clean (maybe rest a bit), then cook dinner. she never did anything else, i swear, except cook and clean. that life, just isn't for me.

difference of cultures, yes... but that is definitely a huge-ass step in the wrong direction as far as im concerned, and now, there's no way in hell i'd live in a society which would expect me to get married, give up my job, and be a housewife.

in any event, i know most of you are guys anyways, so you don't care... but all im saying is, listen to this guy's advice that i posted. you all have extremely high ideals about a country that most of you have never even stepped foot in, because of anime. in reality, the country is not some perfect haven that you are imagining. before you decide to commit a year or any amount of time of your life there, be smart and visit it first.