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Old 2007-08-19, 22:53   Link #8
Risaa
Evil Little Pixie
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: bleeghhh
Age: 36
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Awww

I'm actually quite the opposite -- I'm a lot more uncomfortable around girls (I am one, just to clarify). There was once a time when I had friends who were only girls, and I realized that just as girls can often be more sensitive than guys, they also tend to be more emotionally cruel, going around to secretly backstab you, tear up cards and letters with a smile, etc.. Guys, on the other hand, tend to punch you and get it over with. Between being emotionally scarred and having a black eye, I'd rather have a black eye.

(Notice I use "tend to"... This certainly doesn't apply to ALL girls or guys.)

Deathkillz's cousin is right - even if you're feeling like pudding inside, stand up straight and give direct eye contact. Try not to stutter (whoops, first I wrote "slutter" ) and act like you're in control of yourself. It's unintentional, but I know I end up intimidating a lot of people by doing this. It's not all bad though - the people who stick around will learn about you and become friends with you. Plus, I think it really helps you to learn not to be afraid.

As you already know, there are guys who'll think nothing of laying his grubby hands on you, but you should look past them -- you're sure to find some decent guys who do care about your feelings over your body. You could try looking in places like an art classroom or studio in which it's completely up to people if they want to be part of it or not (it's not mandatory). If you land in a class with them, you automatically have a reason to begin talking to them.

You're 17, so you're still in high school ne? (Or did you graduate early like I did? ) High school is a sucky, sucky time for shy people, IMO. I had a helluva time glaring at people all four years, myself. In college it gets much better, trust me.

Also, if you see large faults in a guy, just as with girls, it may end up being a strength instead, depending how you look at it. So don't just automatically shy away from them. I'm going to use two of my (my-age) guy friends as examples:
Guy friend #1: Was raised by a family of girls and thus, acts feminine himself. Why this is a strength: he emphasizes a lot with me and believe me, sex is not on his mind. XD
Guy friend #2: Hardcore Christian (whereas I'm not). Why this is a strength: believes he'll be damned for all eternity if he touches or thinks about another human inappropriately.

If you're still feeling anxious after reading the responses in this thread, you could try something a little more indirect; how about getting a male penpal? There are tons of penpal sites and many of them allow you to specify what gender you want your penpal to be. OR... even better: why not pick someone male from asuki and PM him? If you explain your situation and he blows you off, he's not worth it. But if he continues mailing you back, you know you've got a friend.

If you want to meet RL guys, surely your friends know some nice guys? At the beginning, have him around with maybe one or two of your other friends. As you become more comfortable around him, eventually they won't have to be with you two all the time.

IN CONCLUSION to this long and boring post... Just like women, men can be cruel, but they can also be passionate and just *nice* to you. You really have to look for great guys instead of expecting one to just appear in your life (though that's always possible). Give them the benefit if the doubt and try not to act afraid; however if you can't help it, just tell them the truth about your situation to avoid any awkward moments. It's much better to be open and truthful about your situation, even if you are embarrassed about it. A nice guy will understand.
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