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Old 2008-08-05, 14:38   Link #1079
erfine
hugs@Ranka
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
Oh, really? And what are they?
Your original idea about Sheryl and Leon was meant to get a reaction from people. It's obviously a silly idea, which shouldn't be taken seriously. But when Ranka was raised, if this was all in good fun, you would have said something like "Oh, Ranka's busy down on the other end" or something equally light-hearted as a show of good faith.

Instead, you raised a series of formal arguments on why Ranka ought not to enter into a relationship with Leon, in an attempt to rationalize your earlier statements (which were supposedly a joke to begin with!)

As Magnus-kun pointed out earlier, you have some pent up aggression within you, and you want to displace it. But you're also very concious that your behavior is irrational, so you try to compensate by trying to provide a "rational" explanation for everything you wrote, including things that didn't require rational explanations in the first place (such as humor).

There's no problem about any of that, but let's all be frank about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
No, but a 30 year old man dating Ranka is different from a 30 year old man dating Sheryl.
Yah that's the way double standards usually work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
It's not a matter of legality. It's a matter of "Do I really trust her to make that kind of choice?". In Ranka's case, the answer is "not really". In Sheryl's it "yes".

If you want to answer differently, that's your privilege. Good luck arguing that Ranka is every bit as mature as Sheryl.
If Ranka's not mature enough to make that kind of choice, then she isn't mature enough to date Alto, either. Good luck trying to argue that Ranka isn't mature enough to date Leon but is mature enough to date Alto.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
Damn right it does. Ranka and Sheryl are different, so I treat them differently. We're not a bunch of lawmakers arguing over age of consent laws. I'm saying "I don't want to see Ranka date Leon". But notice I don't protest against it terribly much on the grounds of "It's wrong! Wrong, I tell you, for a girl so young to date someone so old!". On that subject, I'm more "Eh. Doesn't feel right."
Sure. That's a fine feeling right there. It's irrational, and it's honest. It doesn't feel right for me either.

Likewise, the reason why you have no problem putting Sheryl in that situation is simply because you just don't care as much about her. That's a fine sentiment to have too.

All this stuff about "Well, I've weighed the pros and cons of the situation, and my analysis leads to the conclusion that..." is utter nonsense. It's justification after the fact.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
Again, there is a difference between being one's subordinate against being merely colleagues. That is the major difference between her relationship with Alto and her relationship with Leon. The one that, to me, spells "wrong". The reason I added that bit about closeness is that I do have reserves against close colleagues dating. It can get weird, especially after a break up. But note, they're merely reserves. As long as they're responsible adults and pros, I think it's up to them to decide and take their responsibilities.
For the previous point, though, you made a big deal about Ranka not being a mature adult, and that she wasn't ready to take responsibility for her choices. So on that principle, I would expect that you would be equally "reserved" about a relationship between Ranka and Alto.

Usually the problem with dating a boss is a conflict of interest issue. But that's not relevant to Ranka, because she sits outside of the rank structure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
Saying "it feels a bit icky" is not fighting it "fiercely". I'm explaining my reasons, because you accuse me of being irrational and unfair.
Opinions are inevitably irrational and unfair. I wouldn't dream of faulting you for that. But someone who appears to be "fair" doesn't have opinions that are any more valid than someone who appears to be "unfair".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anh_Minh View Post
Also, note: there's a difference between "I don't like it" and "it's wrong".
Sure. "It's wrong" means that "I don't like it and you've no choice but to dislike it too."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seifall View Post
This being so , I have read all the threads concerning macross and wanted to participate.
But I appreciate more, Ranka's character than Sheryl 's. After reading what hapenned with ani d and anh minh the few peope who weren't for Sheryl I think I will pass.
Looks like you must be a Sheryl's fan to be accepted here because on the other side there isn't a single soul anymore.
I'm a fan of Ranka's too. Why do you care whether other people accept you or not? Just call it as you see it, as honestly as you can. Even if they don't agree, you'll always win their respect.
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