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Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty
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Fran... well that gives me weird images from a certain character. If it was the intention, you succeeded. If she had appeared earlier I have to say I don't remember. Was some time since I read the previous chapters.
There was some weird grammar in some places and some words that had the wrong tense, that made me stop for a second. Also, I've never ever seen "serendipitous" before so I had to look it up, but it fits in the context.
Another thing I hooked on was -> Stein ‘tsked’. This is probably just a difference in style, but it kinda stands out. I'm split whether I want to like it or not, as I personally prefer to write it into the dialouge. It works though.
Overall, however, a solid chapter as always. Especially the fighting gave me a nice mental image going on and the last part of the fic leaves open a wide range of new encounters, which, I am looking forward to.