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Well, both animes are done by different studios, so that point is still valid, I suppose.
And it's not like these theories are baseless.
As for how WC turned out like that, no parent is perfect. And I'm sure you've probably heard of or know of cases where the child doesn't exactly turn out as 'awesome' as their parents. It could be that WC is just a victim of that. Kirito and Asuna may be the 'perfect' couple, but that doesn't mean that they are the perfect parents, though many people seem to assume that.
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Could be like what Orange Duke said, WC is a victim of favouritism or lack of attention maybe because Kirito is too busy working on Brain Burst and other projects with Asuna. So that's why she has the ability to be invisible since she feels like she doesn't exist *at all* in both Asuna and Kirito's eyes. Also, this could be a good hint to what is KYH's trauma,fears and weaknesses behind Black Lotus' creation.