View Single Post
Old 2010-06-06, 18:37   Link #143
deathcurse
Queen of Tragedy
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Place of rocks and trees, and trees and rocks...and water.
Age: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merctrin View Post
Yay, I finally finished the chapter.

Prequel
Prologue
Day 1

Spoiler for Day 2 [part 1]:

Spoiler for Day 2 [part 2]:

Spoiler for Notes:

Thanks for reading.
Oh man, this was awesome!

SetsuYomi??? But....but.....*waves KonoSetsu flag* I must say though, from the way you've written these first two chapters, you would likely be the one to convert me ! Tsukuyomi maintains this barely-restrained-psycho air throughout the chapter, and it keeps her so in character and so interesting that I'm mesmerized .

The disconnect between how Tsukuyomi and Konoka see Setsuna's staring is dramatically ironically funny (Tsukuyomi thinks that Setsuna's pining after Konoka, Konoka thinks Setsuna is quasi-flirting/yearning, and Setsuna's terrified that Tsukuyomi would stab Konoka in the back if she's not careful). And just the way you lay out the last bit of Tsukuyomi's perspective is just perfectly eerie and great:
Quote:
Are they close enough that even a tiny separation was enough to make them miss each other?

Interesting.

And… bothersome.
I liked seeing Konoka possessive of Setsuna , but she's also very aware of Setsuna's sense of duty and isn't being a bitch about Setsuna's guarding Tsukuyomi, and even offered some very practical and logical alternative solutions. One of the things that I hate most are people who complain without thinking of viable solutions to offer instead, so in that scene Konoka behaved very well.

And oh....a reference to a flashback, I see? Sounds violent and nasty....

Konoka can't sleep well without Setsuna, eh? Does that mean that they've experienced the good slumber that sleeping together gives them??

The last bit is an excellent way to end the chapter, and the comment about them having forever together does a great job of cementing to the reader just how much they love each other (in every way) and how close they are, but could also provide for a powerful contrast in tone later on for us to compare the qualities of a KonoSetsu vs. SetsuYomi relationship .

Hmm, curious thought: If Asuna is Anti-magic, and she touches Tsukuyomi, could she possibly break the Ouroboros Seal, whether intentionally or by accident? =O
deathcurse is offline