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Old 2007-08-19, 20:40   Link #2
Deathkillz
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: uk, England
Age: 33
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Hi, I'm a cousine of the person who uses this account (a girl cousine), and i know how you feel on the whole fear thing. I'm not saying all girls do, but i've had a similar history to you, I'm also 17 and (sometimes) have a negative view of boys/men. But there's one big difference, instead of being afraid of them i'm angry/hate them, i know not all males are bad, i'm friends with some of the most understanding i've ever known. But i guess i've never been too good with relationships or anything.

Every time i get to know a boy, out the back of my head comes bad memories (similar to yours) but intsead they are the ones of boys teasing me to the point i go crazy with anger; when i was bullied i never held back, i always defended myself no matter what- even if i knew i'd have a black eye the next day i'd still lash out. And for that, people treaded carefully around me.

...I guess my point is, that i think perhaps you should think more strongly about your situation. I'm not asking you to hate, but maybe to tell yourself that you can defend yourself, that your not as helpless as you feel when you're around men. Don't fear anything, because i believe girls can be just as strong and dominant *giggles*.

Here's what I'd do (suggestion only):

Whenever I'm in public, always act as if nothing in the world phases me (especially around boys). You'd feel stronger that way, ALWAYS look straight in the eyes when talking with somebody. I figured this makes a large difference, since i was once a shy girl (head down all the time ^^). Don't give out a single clue that you are afraid.

Remember that some of the nastiest, buffest boy bullies are mainly brawn and no brains, if you can outsmart them, show them up by talking, that also helps. Remaining silent only lets them continue the bullying. but don't talk so much as to let them know that they are actually bugging you, coz that just makes them want to continue.

And finally, confidence: make sure you have friends around you, the more the merrier. It should make you feel more secure, but don't take advantage of it, because if people see that you are nothing without friends, they'll try to pick on you when you are alone. Also, friends give you support, therefore you'll feel more secure and confident. ok?

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but if all else fails, carry a knife around and stab the ones you fear in the gonads- jk jk! What you really should do, is look for psychological help. i'm not saying your crazy or mental or anything, but if it's really so bad, it's a phobia, and should be delt with because it'll affect your everyday life. Some schools have these kind of people around to help students in need. Tell your parents if you have to, just please don't be silent about it.

^_~/ good luck!

Kentari

ps. please, i hope nobody takes offence to what i've just typed, i don't think boys are evil, its a feeling that can't be helped D:
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