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Old 2010-12-16, 23:20   Link #28197
00-Raiser
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Windsor, Ontario
Age: 37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaijo View Post
Posted The 12 Cyborgs of Christmas to ff.net.

And now here we go again!

Future Tense

Chapter 25: Extrication, Part 1


In which Nanoha faces an unlikely opponent, and Givo brings a problem to Teana's doorstep...

Previous parts can be found here.

Spoiler for Future Tense, Chapter 25: Extrication, Part 1:
Errors, quote, etc.

To be honest I was kinda bored with this chapter. Took me several hours to read it because I kept wandering away to do other things. Isis's appearence just feels out of place, like she doesn't really belong in there. The Teana/Givo stuff was a bit more interesting, but it seems you've overlooked the fact that Teana can turn invisible. I know the one area had an AMF but otherwise she can just use that and not have to worry about being caught. Maybe she'll use it next time.
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