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Finalage · 2010-07-26, 08:21

Hmm...based on what you claimed, my insane mind spins an answer, but then again, I'm just the insane dude over here...you're welcome to look at it though...

Spoiler for Help?:

Your problem...

Nodoka was reveled to be the ally of a person who presented himself as an enemy to all, and she just kind of took a stone spear through the dead center of her chest. The Captives are in the custody of Aride and rescue is difficult to think of since Fate's main chance is pretty much shot leaving no way to clear the White Wings. Nodoka was exposed to the white wings. Also how do you explain Negi not going crazy having to explain: Nodoka being killed taking a hit for him, getting up attacking him and Fate equally, before being stopped by another bitter enemy who promptly stabs him with a strangely enchanted dagger that freezes everything yet leaves no mark and leaves his dark magic encroachment nullified?

What I suggest is this.

Nodoka may have been revealed as a double agent, but she is still valued for her "pure" minded visage. You might even squeak by with the option of having the white wings believe she was tricked into moving to another side...

If this entity is evil, it might be interesting to have her fight for control, and this small effort sending a ripple through that abyss your OC is looking through, a signal to them as to where they can find Nodoka's mind.

As for the others, Asuna escaped, right? Bring her back in somehow, perhaps as a kind of "commando unit" style savior for them. Get Fate back up off the ground if you can't replenish the Negi situation, which I only say because people love the little guy.

Negi still has Kanka after all, a fact most people have forgotten. Magica Erebia nullified might make this a prime time for him to expand upon that art, which could be difficult, seeing as it is an opposite from the other.

Of course, you could go for broke and bring Nagi in to unleash all hell with Eva. (Read: unleashing her from the curse might work...) Those two might be able to do something about Negi and Fate, or replace them in the effort they might be unable to go on with.

You saved Anya. She is a useful asset if you know how to employ her...use it.

Going back to Nodoka, you could also have those symbols let out a small distrubance if struggle is out of the question. A tiny beacon of hope to look for, just like the other.

Is that stone spear still stuck to her? I am strapped for time in trying to read your story to get the full effect, so alot of my advice might be awkward. If it is still stuck, get it out ASAP. Look for another character to heal the bodily damage, posibly bring in an unimportant, unfleshed OC if you don't want a full one.

Besides that, I'd have to read your story in full to say anything more accurate/more useful... does this help any?

2010-07-26, 08:21	Link #193
Finalage Member Author Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind... Age: 33	Hmm...based on what you claimed, my insane mind spins an answer, but then again, I'm just the insane dude over here...you're welcome to look at it though... Spoiler for Help?: Your problem... Nodoka was reveled to be the ally of a person who presented himself as an enemy to all, and she just kind of took a stone spear through the dead center of her chest. The Captives are in the custody of Aride and rescue is difficult to think of since Fate's main chance is pretty much shot leaving no way to clear the White Wings. Nodoka was exposed to the white wings. Also how do you explain Negi not going crazy having to explain: Nodoka being killed taking a hit for him, getting up attacking him and Fate equally, before being stopped by another bitter enemy who promptly stabs him with a strangely enchanted dagger that freezes everything yet leaves no mark and leaves his dark magic encroachment nullified? What I suggest is this. Nodoka may have been revealed as a double agent, but she is still valued for her "pure" minded visage. You might even squeak by with the option of having the white wings believe she was tricked into moving to another side... If this entity is evil, it might be interesting to have her fight for control, and this small effort sending a ripple through that abyss your OC is looking through, a signal to them as to where they can find Nodoka's mind. As for the others, Asuna escaped, right? Bring her back in somehow, perhaps as a kind of "commando unit" style savior for them. Get Fate back up off the ground if you can't replenish the Negi situation, which I only say because people love the little guy. Negi still has Kanka after all, a fact most people have forgotten. Magica Erebia nullified might make this a prime time for him to expand upon that art, which could be difficult, seeing as it is an opposite from the other. Of course, you could go for broke and bring Nagi in to unleash all hell with Eva. (Read: unleashing her from the curse might work...) Those two might be able to do something about Negi and Fate, or replace them in the effort they might be unable to go on with. You saved Anya. She is a useful asset if you know how to employ her...use it. Going back to Nodoka, you could also have those symbols let out a small distrubance if struggle is out of the question. A tiny beacon of hope to look for, just like the other. Is that stone spear still stuck to her? I am strapped for time in trying to read your story to get the full effect, so alot of my advice might be awkward. If it is still stuck, get it out ASAP. Look for another character to heal the bodily damage, posibly bring in an unimportant, unfleshed OC if you don't want a full one. Besides that, I'd have to read your story in full to say anything more accurate/more useful... does this help any? __________________ Last edited by Finalage; 2010-07-26 at 08:33.