When it all comes down to it, life doesn't really amount to much. You might exist today, but tomorrow you could very well be gone. Once you accept that, it's not really a big deal. The trick is to dissociate yourself from practically everything. As I come to realize how insignificant I am relative to the grand scale of the universe, my own passing seems like such a small thing in comparison. In it's own way, death represents the demise of of a single universe among infinitely many.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoy my life. I revel in the depths of my own sensory experiences. I drown myself in emotional euphoria. Above all, I love being able to consciously experience it all. The capacity for self-awareness and self-regulation, more than feelings, emotions, or morals, are the things I value most as a living being. I value them to the point that I perceive the absence of thought to be the same thing as being dead. But at the same time, it is that very consciousness that tells me that I would not value life to this extent without acknowledging its very transience and emptiness. Ironically, it is that apparent pointlessness that makes life even more meaningful to behold. Life is just like a bubble, and once it pops, there will be no time to grieve; one will simply cease to be.
On this topic, I recall a particularly memorable scene from one of my favorite manga:
Spoiler for Wakusei no Samidare:
I remember a particularly beautiful exchange in the manga,
Wakusei no Samidare, where Yayoi, a young girl, was given a single wish. This wish could have been used for anything she could have wanted. However, instead of anything grand, she simply wished for her family and her loved ones that, when the time came, they would all die with smiles on their faces. She reasoned that since everyone is destined to die, the most one can hope for is to die without regrets. She understood this truth that many live their entire lives without realizing, so it really left me thinking: If life is just one big joke, we might as well die laughing.
