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Originally Posted by churchblue
Yeah, that description is alright. K AKA Neon Arsenal is a cold and merciless, but want it been treated human not as a killer.
She doesn't think kill duel avatars in the AW is the same as in real life. She basically hate being a killer in real life despite being good at it. Neon Arsenal can materialize her weaponry so there's no need for a rectangular block (all the weapons are in herself) cuz the enemy would just destroy the block. The "single hit" thing is a bit to much, but IS very vulnerable and fragile. Also, she would be very picky on selecting contracts, especially if the target is connected in ARC.
K is connected to the Creator and tries to prevent that from scattering to other burst linkers (hence why she keeps her ID a secret). The Creator give her the task to find out any info about ARC and their functions without being on their radar. K hates ARC. She calls them a bunch of "super arrogant shits thinking they can be gods". Neon Arsenal has personal grudge against Black Vise (it's a secret) want to kill him both in the AW and in real life. She doesn't take contracts on Kings (raises attention) or the Black Legion (the Creator's order). She respects the Kings (esp Orange and Black). Most of the Burst Linkers thinks she is a myth.
These are stuff that I can further describe her. K's main real self characteristic is her heterochromia eyes (two different glowing colored eyes). My other fanfic DA, Carbon Arrow is my only other okay one. Despite several changes, the important parts were still there. K's "scar" is very hard to keep up with since the program was responsible for it.
I will tell you the "key parts" of K/Neon Arsenal to keep if you change it.
-K is a experiment that went against what she was created for..a killer
-K wants to be human and feels life is precious.
-Despite her cold, merciless personality, she has a heart and does care.
-The Creator and her are connected and she is secretly working for him.
-Neon Arsenal has ....A LOT OF WEAPONS stored in herself.
-Neon Arsenal somewhat look a like a TRON character (glowing circuits)
-She has heterochromia eyes.
-Always wear special sunglasses to hide her heterochromia eyes.
-She hates ARC and would more violent if the target is connect to them.
-She has a personal grudge against Black Vise.
-She doesn't attack the Kings or Black Legion.
-She believes killing a DA is not the same as killing a real person.
That's are my criterias for K/Neon Arsenal. Orange Duke, (again) I like your rearrangements of K's real self and part of your description of Neon Arsenal. To be honest I only can come up with cool names and ideas, but can't do details and "walk a straight line". That's why I want other people to see it and can make it more "solid" without destroying much of the "main line". Fanfic is just a hobby. Writing too much details confuses me and the ones who reads it. And then the writing comes off the line that is was intended.
I don't plan on typing much on the fanfic thread for now on since it annoys Orange Duke a lot. I probably only type cool names and simple descriptions. See ya tomorrow.
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AKA she is basically a "neon" version of Gil-ko.
Not to be sound TOO offensive, but in terms of balance and idea concepts, yours need heavy work as most of your characters end up being Stu.
Unless you mean those countless neon weapons are actually very weak.
And what's this, "She hates to kill but kills because she is good at it?" So what, she kills people out of personal entertainment or duty or wat?
I keep notice a similarity with your chars, they ALL have a grudge against Black Vise do they?