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Dear Foreign Country,
What's wrong with you? You don't think like I do. You don't act the way I want you to. And any time you do something I can appreciate, you turn around and mess things up by being Wrong. Why are you so screwed up? Don't you understand that I know what's best for you, and that if only you would do what I want you'd be better off? I know all the issues you have, and they're completely dead-simple to fix. The fact that you don't seem to understand this just shows how ignorant and backwards you are.
I come expecting you to entertain me -- I'm sacrificing my precious time here -- and all you give me is stuff you like, and it isn't even Good. You expect that to make me happy? Don't you realize how lazy and stupid that makes you look? From what I can tell, all of your citizens are screwed up too. Can't you do anything right? Clearly you need good role models, and you're not going to find them looking inside your own borders. Hello?! It's like you never studied Objective Truth; good thing for you that you're talking to it now.
I hope for your sake that you change your ways, because that's the only way you're going discover your true calling to serve me. Obviously it's not like you can accomplish anything on your own without me here to give you all this free advice -- it's the only way to overcome your stunted emotional growth and become Normal. If you can't do that, I'm sure your nation isn't long for this world; don't think your centuries of history can shield you from my being Right. When the end comes for you, don't say I didn't warn you.
Sincerely,
"A Truly Mature Mind"
P.S. Suffice it to say, we're not going to re-open this thread, with apologies to those who tried to salvage it. If someone would like to try again and take a different approach, it could work.
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