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In terms of why the Vagans didn't take some crazy action (like colony drops, etc), I think the point was symbolism. This is their Eden, their dream home to return to. Even if the damage would be superficial or temporary doing something crazy like that would be tainting their dream. While less efficient taking back Eden with their own hands on the ground and not tainting it could explain them holding back.
It is rather tough to believe them holding back before Flit made the Gundam. They literally had no competition before then. Could have just walked to Earth with a handful of units and taken it. The only possible explanation would be Ezelcant tricking enough people into thinking the Federation was holding back their real strength. That or they simply would be stopped by shear numbers if they forced a major confrontation too early. I don't really buy it, but have to come up with something semi-logical.
I'll say after re-watching the last episode that at least things went alright for Flit. A lot of bizarre things in this episode, but he saw Yurin and everyone he'd lost once again. On top of that he did grow into that savior that protected humanity as a whole. Fell off that train for a lot of the series, but found it in the end.
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