Loved it, though there were a few grammar/spelling mistakes here and there, and one line that I just outright couldn't understand. I should've marked the spot as I was reading it, because I can't find it again just by skimming it. But it didn't detract from the overall story, so it's not a
huge deal.
I almost wish Lancer had been watching from the shadows somewhere, since his purpose is to "observe". Then we'd get awesome Lancer snark!
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Originally Posted by Haak
2) Berserker seems to have a a lot more conciousness than I would've thought. And I would've liked it better if it were illustrated in the style of writing. Like short single sentences. Something like "Kill, kill kill. Servant Lady stronger. Attack her first. Attack. Attack. FUCKING TREES! Do not attack boy. Loli will be mad.". Or am I just talking out of my ass?
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If he's in a Berserker state, he's literally mindless. Like a computer program, merely running through its list of commands. If his Berserker state isn't active (though I'm not sure if it's possible to turn it off and on at will) he's actually quite articulate (see: when Saber kills him in Fate and he speaks quite clearly with her).
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3) Does Ilya know/thinks the worm is Zoken? In that case, wouldn't she know it would be wise to kill him first and foremost and would be worth giving the command spell to do so?
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Like it says, she knows he'd have an escape route. Even if she doesn't know that route is to be hiding in Sakura's chest.